(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

Good evening to all you slave-owning, white-supremacist, capitalistic, misogynistic, MAGA-loving, populist, nationalist, top-1% masters, and a dreary dark night to all you oppressed, disadvantaged, photo-ID challenged, overlooked, held-down slaves. Of course, that's what critical race theory would have you believe is the bleak description of 2022 America. But in fact, CRT is our only hope of forcing whites to finally realize how inherently and hopelessly evil they truly are due to their immutable skin color. Regardless of their behaviors and attitudes, they'll never be able to overcome their slave-owning DNA that they inherited from Pawpaw. You might be thinking, this sounds a little over-the-top. But if you think that, it's because you're in fact a racist. If you don't think you're a racist, but you're white, then you're definitely a racist. Let me help you confused whities realize how racist you truly are by pointing out all the ways you oppress your victims. Think of voter ID, for example. The villainous concept that voters must snag a pic in order to participate in the democratic process. Here's the problem. We all know black people are too poor and unintelligent to go get their picture taken. By not acknowledging that, you out yourself as a bigot. Did you not realize that the flash from a camera is white light? I said white light. Obviously a subliminal message coming from the white devils. Requiring black voters to approve who they are is just so untrusting as well. You ever think about that? You think black people like Jussie Smollett wouldn't be honest at the polls? The only exceptions to racist identification would be situations like driving a vehicle, passing through TSA, opening a bank account, going to a baseball game, renting a house, or virtually anything else. Black people obviously can't be expected to bring their ID to the ballot box. It would be too heavy for them to carry as they stand in line. You call yourself color blind? Do you minimize race as some sort of superficial characteristic? According to CRT, that's still racist because you're ignoring bigotry. You support civil rights? According to CRT, that's still racist. We all know you're only doing it to advance white interests. You think all lives matter? According to CRT, that's still racist. You're ignoring the plight of minorities who are being hunted down, shot, and killed by not- police officers. By police officers every single day. Nothing you ever do, white man, will ever change the fact that you victimize minorities simply by breathing air. There is no hope for you. There is no remedy. Critical race theory, I should say, says that you hated black people from the very moment that you came out of your mother's womb, or were the twinkle in the eye of your father who obviously loved the KKK. It's the original sin of every white person who's ever been born. I guess I'll never understand because the Bible says that God is no respecter of persons. Perhaps that's racist too, or perhaps it's just the Baptist bias.