(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

The title of the sermon this morning is when to separate from family and friends. When to separate from family and friends. Look down at your Bible at verse number 34 where the Bible reads, Think not that I am come to send peace on earth, I came not to send peace, but a sword. A lot of people call Jesus the Prince of Peace, which is truly a good name for him. But what does he say right here? He says, I came not to send peace, but a sword. In this life, in the life that we live, we are divided from people because of our faith in Jesus Christ. Sometimes there comes a time when we do have to separate ourselves from people. Sometimes the people that we love the most. Sometimes the friends that have been our lifelong friends. Sometimes even the closest of family members. Look at what it says in verse 35, it says, for I am come to set a man at variance against his father. That word at variance is where you are fighting and disagreeing. So a man against his father, I mean obviously we are supposed to respect and love our fathers, but there is something that comes between even the closest family members, like I said that is Jesus Christ. It says, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, which that one is not necessarily, that happens a lot. But it says, and a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me. Let me read that one again real quick. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. And he that loveth son or daughter much more than me is not worthy of me. I'm going to read that one again too. He that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. this is the this is a hard saying this is a hard passage right here because the people that literally the hand that rocked you to sleep at night that stayed up with you and when you were sick that loved you and took care of you and and obviously we should those things are great things and the dad that nurtured you and brought you up and gave you great great advice and things like that but sometimes there's a division that takes place and and those people won't get saved and they and they just can't come around to the Bible's way of thinking and and not only that they become the enemies of Christ and and so this is kind of a hard sermon to preach also because it's kind of up to you to find the line of where you know you have to separate from family and friends and it said but the Bible is very clear and I think that Jesus is really honing in on this right here where he's saying he's not mincing words here you he is more important than your family he is more important than your mother he's more important than your father he's more important than your children he's more important than your spouse Jesus Christ is and it says and he that taketh not his cross and falleth after me is not worthy of me and he that findeth his life shall lose it he lose his life for my sake shall find it now the holiday season is a good time to preach a sermon like this and my intention is not to push anyone to a decision regarding family members or an excuse for you to reprobate your sinful family members and unsaved family and friends however there does come a time in our Christian lives where we must choose ourselves they're like well aren't we supposed to think about others yeah but sometimes we do have to think about ourselves and our immediate family members because as us as a man your responsibility is your immediate family your wife and your children and you know as wives your immediate responsibility is your husband and your children it's it's no longer your mom and dad it's no longer your grandma and grandpa it's no longer aunts and uncles and cousins and and your best friend your bestie from high school or whatever it's now your family that's the most important thing and if anybody wants to come in and divide you from that and your life in Christ they're wrong and and they have to be kind of exed out of your life or put at at bay you know put aside to the point where they can't like interfere with your personal life and and most importantly your life in Christ so we have to put our well-being and our family's well-being over the love of our relationships and family members and friends saved or unsaved so there could be a family member that's saved and they just hate your doctrine or something and then they're constantly just trying to push boundaries and and and trying to just say well you're wrong about Jesus going to hell for three days and three nights and you know they're just constantly just you you might have to put that person kind of at arm's length and just say hey you know we're not talking about this anymore this is not being brought up at family gatherings anymore and things like that so and then of course and this church here we have a lot of people that are pretty new to the faith and we have a lot of people that have been a longtime members and and a long time in the faith and I preach sermons like this before but I do think it's necessary to every once in a while preach a sermon like this so people kind of get an understanding of what Jesus is talking about here in this chapter and of course you know once you get saved and you start wanting to serve Christ you start going to church multiple times a week you start being really involved in church and wanting to change your life and serve God then you know family stops being so supportive and then they start saying you're in a cult that that always happens okay and the cult accusation will surely come even after I preach a sermon like this they'll still you know they'll accuse me of trying to isolate you and things like this and it's true cults do isolate people they will isolate people from all their family and friends and things like that that's not what I'm trying to do here I'm just trying to say there does come a time when you have you might have to do that I'm not saying you always have to do that over every single thing there is degrees of things that you have to separate from all right so and if you know me at all you know that I'm pretty hands-off when it comes to meddling in people's families like you have to come to me and say yeah I got a problem can you help me with it I'm not gonna just interject myself into your what I perceive as your family problems so you know if someone accused me of trying to be like a cult leader in that way where I'm just controlling your life and who you can hang around I'm just telling you what the Bible says okay this is what the Bible's this is what Jesus said and so I'm not putting myself up as some guru or some person that's in charge of what who you talk to in your life Jesus is telling you you know that there's sometimes there's giving divisions within your family and really the division is Christ that's what it's all about so I'm not trying to run anybody else's lives I got my own life to run I got my own problems right so but Colts will try to you know they'll try to isolate people from their family and friends and that's not what I'm trying to do but I am trying to say that there is a time when you have to do it so but ultimately that decision has to come from you and I just say this don't jump off the cliff with this sermon okay don't just instantly you know reprobate your whole family and say you know they don't believe in Christ so I'm not going to have anything to do with them I'm not teaching that okay but you know don't don't be this person like my parents have a TV I'm I'm never going back to their house again or something I'm cutting them out of my life that's it they turn the TV on on purpose because they know my kids aren't supposed to watch TV or whatever you know my parents drink you know and look if your parents drink in front of your kids and that might be a problem or my sister's a liberal she can never be around my kids well I would say don't let your kids spend the night with her you know I mean that's legitimate because there's no liberals that are saved I'm sorry that's just I just don't see how that's possible but or my brother smokes pot or you know my uncle cusses sometimes when my kids are you know the obviously there's things you might not want your kids around and that's your choice but don't just you know jump off the cliff okay so and you can't expect unsaved people to behave like independent Baptists this is something that you have to learn as a new Christian like just because you are new on the inside and trying to live right on the outside doesn't mean that your family member is going to become an independent Baptist just because you are and if they're not saved they're not going to be an independent Baptist if they're not saved they're not going to get on board with the things that you believe that they think the things that you believe are weird they think the things that you think are extreme but so you just have to kind of understand those things and you know we sometimes as a new Christian we'll take that sword of the law of the Lord and we'll just start swinging it recklessly you know you have to be a skilled swordsman sometimes when you're dealing with family members and friends okay you can't just swing it like you know like you're swinging a baseball bat for the fences or something with no skill and sometimes we can start chopping our family members up and then that they might not ever want to have anything to do with you again because of the way you behaved when you first got saved so if you're newly saved I understand you want your family members saved and things like that but just kind of back you know give them the gospel make sure that they understand where you're coming from but don't just keep just harping on them and going after them all the time pray for them and then you know maybe someday they will get saved but if they just keep rejecting it over and over again you know there's other people that need to be saved too so you must come to the conclusion though that that you must choose your spouse and have their back over anyone else and this is the thing that family members and friends will attack your spouse they'll accuse them of being the cult member that brought you into the cult and they'll blame they'll blame the other one because this is kind of just how people are they're gonna always take the back of the person that they're friends with or the blood relation that they're blood related to and they'll blame that person well they led you into that or they you know and that happens but your children are also your responsibility and it is your responsibility to keep people away from them because why because God's entrusted you to raise them in the ways of the Lord and if you have someone that's constantly interfering with that and you never check that you never stop that you never keep that person at arm's length it can be very dangerous and toxic in your children's lives and you know God is expecting you to raise them up as a godly heritage and sometimes you just need to cut people out of your life like you'd cut cancer out of somebody that has cancer you don't want that cancer to keep infesting the person you don't want that cancer to keep infesting the mind of your wife or the mind of your husband or the mind of your children you got to get that away from them so number one this morning I only have three points but it might take me a while to get here so but let's start looking at some scripture let's look at Genesis chapter 2 Genesis chapter 2 so the first thing is you need to separate from family and friends when you get married I'm not saying completely sever relationships I'm just saying you do have to have a separation has to happen when you start a new family Genesis chapter 2 verse you know we're yeah we're going back to Genesis this is what he said from the beginning says an Adam said verse 23 this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man therefore shall man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh the Bible says that this is a great mystery and you know obviously Eve was was taken out of Adam a rib and God made woman from Adam's rib the first surgery was done that day the first marriage was performed that day and he he married his own rib you know basically but you know obviously God made her into a woman or made the rib into home and so you know but he says that for this therefore the therefore is to let you know what it's there for right so therefore shall a man leave his father and mother so what are you supposed to do when you get married mommy and daddy are no longer you know your support system mommy and daddy are not the ones you know you start your own new family when you get married that's basically what it's saying and so you leave them and you cleave unto your wife you cleave unto your husband that's your new like as a as a wife your new covering your new your new authority is your husband and it says and they shall be one flesh now turn to Matthew chapter 19 Matthew chapter number 19 so the first separation the point number one you know the first separation you should make when you get married is you separate from your mom and dad I'm not saying again this is just a degree of separation this is not you know saying mom and dad I hate you now I got a wife mom dad I hate you now you know it's not that it's just that they no longer have authority over you you haven't there's a new authority structure you are your own separate home away from them and they their influence in your life should be a positive influence but for mommy and daddy to be controlling you with their money mommy and daddy to be controlling you with anything like that that should not be happening you're you're the man you support that's how it should be okay and any advice should be you know advice that's asked for and sometimes even if it's asked for mom and dad shouldn't be giving that advice if you think it's going to be you know affecting their marriage in some way shouldn't be going to mom and dad and talking trash about your spouse period because they're always going to take your side if you're if it's your parents are always going to take your side no matter what oh my little baby how could you treat you like this or oh you know how could your wicked wife treat you like this she's so mean you know and then they will try to you know sometimes people are just wicked and sometimes they're not even you know obviously not saved and they're going to give you the worst advice you could ever get in your life you know oh you better leave him girlfriend you know you look don't get your advice from unsaved people don't get your marriage advice from someone that's unsaved and look I'm not saying once they people can't have good marriages I'm just saying that their advice isn't going to be what the Bible's advice is for marriage their child rearing is not going to be the advice that the Bible gives as a matter of fact to the to the world spanking your children is an abomination they think that it's just the most worst thing you could ever do is to spank your children even though the Bible God says that that's how you're supposed to you know discipline your children so look at Matthew 19 3 it says the Pharisees also came unto him tempting him and saying unto him is it lawful for man to put away his wife for every cause see people call us Pharisees but the Pharisees thought it was lawful for them to put away their wife for any reason they felt necessary that's what a Pharisee does but what what is what does Jesus say and he said and he excuse me and he answered and said unto them have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said for this cause shall man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh what therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder so what is he saying don't get divorced it's not right to get divorced it's not good it's not right to get divorced for any reason because when God has joined that marriage together then man is not supposed to make that marriage dissolve for any reason so if you're getting advice from someone to divorce your spouse that's wrong advice okay but here's the other thing sometimes you marry a bad one and you know that's why I would say be careful who you marry really inquire diligently whether that's the person that you're gonna be spending the rest of your life with because you know you're stuck with them according to the Bible now obviously people still get divorced they know what the Bible says they still do it anyway and you know there's a lot of awful situations out there and I've had to deal with a lot of them and had to wade through a lot of them it's one of the worst you know things that I deal with as a pastor that one of the worst things that I hate dealing with because it's just you know sometimes sometimes there just isn't a right answer sometimes it's just like well what's my options bad bad bad bad there's like not a right answer there's nothing that's like a fully great answer so anyway so there's a separation that must take place in the new family formed as your immediate family is now your your your main thing that you should be worrying about not everybody else not mom and dad not all the rest of your family members so you're responsible for you now turn to Psalm 127 verse 3 Psalm 127 verse 3 and your children are part of this package this new this new family that's been started your children are part of this package and look the reason why God wants married saved people to married saved people is so a godly seed can come forth out of that that's what the Bible says in Malachi he's looking for a godly seed to come out of that so that's why God so you know that's one of the reasons why God's so against an unsaved person marrying a saved person because there's less of a chance of that person you know that those children being saved because of the the division in the home because of it so the word it says in Psalm 127 verse 3 the Bible says lo children are in heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward as arrows are in the hand of the mighty man so are children of the youth happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them they shall not be ashamed but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate so your children are supposed to be raised why for an heritage of the Lord and that fruit is his reward so the Lord is giving you children so you can raise them as a godly heritage so that they'll be saved and so their children will be saved and their children will be saved God wants a succession of you know families that are saved in the earth I mean what's his perfect will that all would come to repentance that all would be saved he sent his son that all would believe right and you know that we know that's not gonna happen but the best chance you have of your families being you know your families meet other families being saved is that you are saved your spouse is saved your children get saved their children get saved and you break that chain of dysfunction and ungodly people in your chain your line of succession basically you know what what are people people worry about their posterity so much you know what like well what am I gonna give the inheritance of my children the best inheritance you can give your children is that they're saved and let's look at Deuteronomy chapter 6 Deuteronomy chapter 6 the Bible says in verse number 5 and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart and with all thy soul and with all thy might so our number one responsibility is to love God isn't it and these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up so it's very clear our responsibilities in our in our home isn't it and you single guys and you single ladies you know this is also this is not just for the married people or the the people are have a family already this for you in the future this is the mentality that you should already have going into it so you know this is what God expects of you he expects you to teach diligently the things of God to your children it's not just your husband's responsibility it's not just the wife's responsibility it's both of your responsibility and so when it comes to the topic I'm talking about this morning isn't it your responsibility to not allow other crap to be taught to your kids and to keep at bay and at arm's length people that would destroy the things that you're trying to teach them I mean sending your children to public school is not a good idea I mean the Portland Public School District is on strike right now you know and I'm just like amen maybe they will quit being taught that it's okay to have drag queen story hour at their their libraries all the time now I mean what what are you paying them to do to be you know these you know now they're all part of Hamas or something I mean this is what's going on in our country I mean liberals and these queers are on the side of people that throw them off of buildings in the Middle East I just it just baffles my mind I don't I just it's hard for me to get but what's my point don't allow outside influencers you know today's a big the weird thing today is everybody wants to be an internet influencer and just influence it quit listen to these people why don't you let this be your internet influencer it's not even on the I mean it is on the internet but let this be your influencer and quit listen to these bozos listen to people that actually know what they're talking about and not just every every single person that just wants to put a microphone and a camera in front of their face this is the eight everybody has to be an influencer everybody has to be popular everybody had you know and what are they teaching a bunch of garbage so don't let those people influence you don't let them influence your children number two this morning degrees of separation need to take place upon salvation so when you get saved that is when you start needing to separate from family and friends also and and again degrees of separation was what I'm talking about and sometimes it does need they do need to be cut out of your life okay sometimes that's necessary it depends on what kind of family you're in you know if all your family members are saved then you know the the need would be less but what if every single person in your family is like some hardcore alcoholic or drug addict and you were once too like are those the people that you should be hanging around every day probably not right so the degrees of separation depend upon the risk to your Christian life now if a family member or friend is toxic to your Christian life then you may need to apply some very firm boundaries second Corinthians chapter 5 verse 17 says therefore if any man being in Christ he is a new creature old things are passed away behold all things are become new so when we get saved we have what's called the new creature or the new man and that is the the man that cannot sin the old man is the flesh that still can sin but it within us now as a saved Christian we have what's called the new man and all things are become new to us because we're saved that doesn't mean we're gonna be sinless people use this verse and they'll say see you have you're a new creature and you're not gonna send anymore that's not what it's saying it's just saying all things are become new the new man can't sin that's true but the old man can and so if we want to get sin out of our life which God does want that he wants us to be separate from our sin he wants to be separate from the world and to do that we have to get worldliness and sin out of our life to the best of our ability now we're not going to be able to accomplish that until Christ comes and gives us a new body we're not gonna be able to fully accomplish that but we can do our best to to try to live the godliest life we can while we're on this earth and once when he first gets saved you know you're just gonna start learning things that God wants out of your life as you read the Bible as you listen to preach you're gonna be like oh man I didn't know that was wrong but I needed my need to get that out of my life so but when you continue to hang out with the same people that you committed sin with and or tempted tempted you to sin you must come out from among them and be separate and you need to separate yourself from that person and sometimes our biggest crime partners in our sinful life were family members and our good friends so and let's turn to second second cross second Corinthians chapter 6 second Corinthians chapter 6 and of course I've turned to this verse many times but these are great verses because it just shows us you know because there's this mentality out there that well we're free in Christ so that means we can do whatever we want and there's no consequences to that that's not true we're free in Christ to serve him and yeah grace abounds where sin where sin did a bound grace abounds much more so the more sinful we are the more grace is gonna bound because God saves us by his grace we don't deserve to be saved but that doesn't mean that God's not gonna take us to the woodshed doesn't mean he's not gonna punish us for the sins that we commit he still will do that because you know parents chasing their own children they don't chase up chasing other people's children and God's gonna chase in his own children so look at second Corinthians chapter 6 verse 14 says be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers what does that mean it's not talking about an egg yolk folks it's talking about like a yolk that you would use for oxen to pull a wagon or horses or something like that or you're side by side with somebody walking together with them right says be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion hath light with darkness and what Concord hath Christ with Belial or the devil or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel and what agreement hath the temple of God with idols for ye are the temple of the living God as God has said I will dwell in them and walk in them and I will be their God and they shall be my people see God walks in us now God is inside of us now and he walks everywhere you walk and he and he listens and he goes into every place you go into and he's in every conversation that you have and so when we have that in mind like hey maybe I shouldn't go to this place because I'm taking God in there with me maybe I shouldn't have this conversation because I'm having this conversation with God in me maybe I shouldn't be hanging around this person because this person hates God and I'm hanging out with someone that hates God you know what I mean so this is what God's saying he's saying come out from among them and be separate what does that mean get away from that person don't be around that person what am I talking about this morning get it you know when is it time to separate from family and friends and you know just because their family doesn't mean their friends just because their friends doesn't really mean they are real friends because most friends will fail you most friends will let you down most friends seem like they're a friend on the outside but then when hardship comes they're not really your friends when you stop it's just like you think about the prodigal son he had a lot of friends because he had a lot of money but then where was he when all of his money ran out where were all of his friends did they walk him back to his dad's house did they put shoes on his feet did they put new clothes on him no they're like hey maybe you could work for this pig farmer over here and eat the husks all of his friends are gone you know saw a lot most friends are fair weather friends obviously we don't want that to be said about us as Christians we should be friends in all in all times right but we need to figure out boundaries in our lives and those boundaries are found in the Word of God and implement those ancient landmarks as the Bible talks about as your new spiritual borders in your life and don't allow those borders to be crossed by family by friends by anybody and what do I mean well let's turn over to Proverbs chapter 22 verse 28 now there's literal landmarks or borders or fences all around the world you've seen them many times in your life I'm sure throughout driving in the country you'll see fences and then you'll see a different types of fences and different borders you know this country has like a wall partially built on the Mexican border it's not really stopping anybody from coming in but you know there's an imaginary border and in most countries but there's also property lines you know you can go and and ask where the property lines are for your area or whatever and you know they're clearly staked out marked in some places but in ancient Israel they had put these stones or whatever some kind of marker to show what their boundaries were and they were people weren't allowed to just go and mess with other people's boundaries mess with other people's property lines but what it says it says verse 28 remove not the ancient landmark which thy fathers have set now obviously the main application of this is don't mess with other people's property don't try to move their landmark to make you have a little more room and I think you know and people do this today too they try to move someone's property lines so because they just want that little bit more and neighbors fight over stuff like this my grandma had a dispute with this next door neighbor and they tried to do weird stuff like that it's like it's in Portland it's like you can't really fudge the line that much but people will even start to put stuff a little bit on your property just on the edge that maybe move it over a little more it's because they want more they just keep people are just so strange about stuff like this it's just bizarre but they're bizarre like that in other boundaries of people's lives too they just to push boundaries and push you know and people might have a rule or something that they're like you know and I've used this example before but brother Robert doesn't like to be called anything but Robert and I pushed the boundary with them one time and he just let me know here's the boundary my name's Robert okay cool I don't call him Bobby I don't call him anything else I don't call him Bob I call him Robert brother Robert don't call anything else he was nice about it too but he was also firm and this is how you have to be when you set up boundaries with people and and let him you don't have to be mean you don't be rude and he wasn't but you have you do have to be firm and just say this is my boundary and you're not crossing it and so like if I continue to do that wouldn't I be moving his ancient landmark wouldn't I be moving his his his boundary that he has a place yes so you know a landmark is a boundary boundaries with some family members and friends may be hard to set sometimes because you're so close with them and they're so used to being able to just do these things but when you become a new creature in Christ Jesus when you have new rules in your life when you have you know you're trying to follow the Bible then people won't necessarily understand that right off the bat and then when you try to implement those things in your life people will try to push those boundaries immediately and they'll try to see is this person really serious or are they just saying this to look more righteous or are they just saying this and really they're just a pushover but and I would just give this advice to anybody in this room when you're trying to set a boundary in place for your family and friends you need to keep that boundary in place and don't ever move it because what God gave you the landmarks in the book he's like don't commit adultery don't steal don't lie you know don't murder whatever the rules the laws of God and the way that we should be have in our daily lives and things like that and there are certain things that you don't want infringed upon in your Christian life and we can't allow family and friends to just bulldoze over the top of the things that we have implemented in our family you put the boundaries up hey we're going to church on Sunday we're not going to the family functions that's a boundary how about if if there's alcohol being served at our family function we're not going you know or what's what's another one could somebody give me another one anybody yeah I'm not going to the birthday party maybe if it's between services or something but I got so wanting you know it's just like I've had to make this stance before I mean I'm not just saying things and just not doing it myself like I've had to make I finally just had to say look if you want me to come to the family functions stop having them on Sunday because I'm never gonna come I finally just had to say that and it was just like okay so I just finally got stopped getting invited to any family functions but I mean but that's the choice you have to make because otherwise they'll just keep trying to move the boundaries over and over again so but if you put the boundaries up and people respect them then that's good right and you can still have that person in your life but you still have the boundaries in place right stop talking to my kids about them being able to move out as soon as they're 18 or stop telling my kids that what I'm teaching them is wrong and if they don't respect that then there has to be severe consequences I'll get to that I'm kind of getting ahead of myself here look at Proverbs 23 verse 10 Proverbs 23 verse 10 remove not the old landmark and enter not in the fields of the fatherless so remove not the old landmark so two verses here where it's it's obviously it is talking about your real your ancient borders but you know the Bible is a spiritual book it's not just talking about carnal things it's also talking about the things of the Spirit turn Deuteronomy 19 Deuteronomy 19 and I would say this also applies to us as Christians too and this is like a little side note off of this but we also should not infringe ourselves on other people's borders either like some Christians have different lines different landmarks and maybe you don't have that in place in your life well this is where individual soul liberty comes into play where you might have a conviction about something that might not someone else might not agree with that conviction and you can disagree about that but you what you can't the thing you shouldn't do is try to just continuously batter that landmark that they have in place so it says and thou shall not remove thy neighbor's landmark which they of old time have set and thine inheritance which thou shalt inherit in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee to possess it so thou shalt not remove thy neighbor's landmark so you're not supposed to infringe upon someone else's borders and boundaries that they have in place now look Deuteronomy 27 verse 17 Deuteronomy 27 verse 17 because I've had people say that like if I've had standards in my life maybe there were standards for dating for my children or whatever it was and I've had people say like well we don't have that standard in our family so we're not gonna follow that it's like well if you're gonna date my children if your children's gonna date your child's gonna date my child then you are gonna have that standard you're not just gonna do whatever you want just because you don't have that standard that's not how it works and so just because you have that standard doesn't give you the right to batter down somebody else's standard that they have over 2017 says curse be he that removeth his neighbor's landmark so don't remove your neighbor's landmark just because you have something different in mind or something now look I'm not talking about salvation okay talking about just things that might be nuances of Scripture or even just your own personal convictions that aren't necessarily sinful or sinful or not sinful I'm just talking about just particular rules that you might have like dating rules is a good is a good example because the Bible doesn't really give out dating rules does it but what does it say it's good for a man not to touch a woman but if you know if you if you if you want to be able to touch them you need to get married right so if you're touching before marriage then that I mean so if you implement rules in your in your kit in your in your your kids dating life or whatever then if it stops them from touching then is it is a is that a bad rule of course it's not it's a good rule you know if you if you put two sixteen-year-olds together and just let them go off and do whatever they want you're asking for trouble you're just asking for you're just asking for trouble because kids have pretty high hormones at that point and you're just you that you have to have landmarks in place you have to have borders in place in your life so just because you don't have the same borders landmarks or standards in your life it doesn't give you the right to cross other people's borders does that make sense okay turn to Jeremiah 6 16 Jeremiah 6 16 Bible says thus saith the Lord I like that term thus saith the Lord standing in the ways and see and ask for the old paths wherein is the good way and walk therein and he shall find rest for your souls but they said we will not walk therein some people won't walk therein some people won't walk in the ways of the Lord and that's not for you like you can't stop that you can't help that but all you can do is be responsible for what you do and what your family does you can't put you can't put your your morals and your your ways or the ways of the Lord on someone else their responsibility is on them but all you can do is what God expects from you and your family so and what way should we walk in we should ask for the old paths and the good way and walk therein that's how we should do it and if we don't if they won't walk therein or respect the fact that you want to walk in God's ways then you have a problem and you have a decision to make so and again if it's a family member and they don't want to walk in those ways they don't want to get saved or whatever that doesn't mean you have to completely cut them out of your life but you know limited you know things have to be again at arm's length and limited sometimes so like for instance if they you know if they accept your Halloween rule that's good right and you're like well what do you mean well Christians don't celebrate Halloween I don't know if you knew that or not but probably shouldn't be celebrating Halloween and once you make that rule though with your family don't go back on it two years later and go well you know we kind of softened up on that stuff because then you're not gonna be able to go back again they're gonna call it they're gonna think you're a hypocrite they're gonna think you're an idiot and they're not gonna have any respect for your boundaries anymore at that point so you know so you know that's good to have the boundaries up but you know keep them up don't let them get crossed don't back down from them don't be a compromiser so and when you get saved you know this whole point was supposed to be about when you get saved you know you must begin that's that sanctification process and that means that you need to set apart yourself from the world and get separated and you got to start that immediately it's getting church immediately get baptized get plugged into church immediately start reading your Bible immediately start praying immediately if you're gonna have a Christian successful Christian life you also need to separate from the world immediately and separate yourself from people that you commit sin with because a lot of people have people they committed sin with but though again the worst thing you can do is just continue to hang around the old haunts the old places the people that bring out the old vices that you have in your life and and and you don't want to continue down that path so but it's not easy you know you're like pastor easier said than done I agree with that it is hard and it just you're not gonna get everything out the first day the first week the first year but it's something that you need to work toward something a goal you need to work hard towards getting is sanctified and holy as you possibly can be getting saves easy following Jesus is hard but did Jesus say yeah I mean it's hard so don't try to follow after me every day no he says take it across daily and follow after me and you know some things are tougher than others to beat isn't it aren't they some sins are harder to overcome than others so separation from sin and vices that easily beset you is super important the ones that you struggle with the most so don't take it lightly don't wait until getting stuck in impossible situations before you try to do something about it look at Hebrew chapter 12 verse 1 Hebrews chapter 12 verse 1 Hebrews 12 1 the Bible says wherefore seen we are we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses let us lay aside every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset us and let us run with patience the race that is set before us so what's he saying he's saying we need to set aside every weight what what is what weight well the things that are holding us down from being able to run effectively as a Christian to be able to have an effective Christian life and the sin which doth so easily beset us the things that we stumble over the things that we have a hard time because you know what's the picture that you can run patiently without like isn't running with weights on harder than running without weights isn't you know running on like a smooth nice rubbery track a lot nicer than something that has a bunch of rugged terrain on it yeah so that's that's kind of the picture here we you know we're compass about with such a great a cloud of witnesses there's people that are watching what we do now the Lord's watching what we do angels are watching what we do save people are watching what we do and it's important for us to set aside those weights and those sins and you know what holds you back down is the weights the whole the sin holds us down and the best way to avoid it is not to make provision for our flesh and so that takes separation you can't just you know keep they say that the definition of insanity is to keep doing things the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result so when it comes to our sin if you just keep putting yourself in the same sinful position over and over again you're putting yourself in a position where you're gonna fail over and over and over again and that's insanity right so if you think you know you're like well this time I'm gonna be stronger this time I'm gonna be tougher this time I'm not gonna do it that may be what about the time after that time after that look at Romans 13 Romans 13 verse 11 Romans 13 verse 11 Romans 13 11 the Bible says and that knowing the time is and that knowing the time that now it is high time to awake out of sleep and now is our salvation nearer than when we believed the night is far spent the day is at hand let us therefore cast off the works of darkness and let us put on the armor of light let us walk honestly as in the day not in rioting and in drunkenness not in chambering and wantonness not in strife and envying but put you on the Lord Jesus Christ and make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof what does that talk about provision for the flesh it's like it's like you know you would give provender to an animal provender is like you know hay or you know grass or oats or whatever you give that to them to feed them you know it's it's and so that word provision is you're giving your flesh something to feed it and so when you kind of avoid allowing your flesh to feast on something because it's saying to fulfill the lust thereof so you want to avoid the pitfalls that you know are your pitfalls whatever that thing is whatever that sin is and and you probably are thinking about something right now that is a sin that you're having a hard time overcoming or something that you've struggled with maybe even for years or you know just some kind of sin that you're having a problem with right now and the key to doing that is put on the Lord Jesus Christ put on you know put on the new man and walk in the spirit and don't put yourself in a position to where you're gonna do the same sin over and over again but eat the sin that easily besets us our besetting sins are the ones that we have the proclivity to commit more often you know whatever that sin is you know something and I would say this that some families have a higher proclivity to do certain sins if your mom is an alcoholic you know that's what they call today but really what the Bible was the Bible call drunks drunkards if your mom's a drunkard you're gonna have probably a more more proclivity to be a drunkard because of that so what should you avoid alcohol and so just all those types of things that you know that's what I would say is probably more of a generational curse the generational curse in my mind is the proclivity to do sins that your family members in the past did because you know it's just it's kind of in your DNA or whatever so anyway let's move on here so what what does it mean to be confirmed you know to put on the Lord Jesus Christ well you know it's it's walking in the spirit you know it's taking up your cross daily falling after him because you know what we fall we fall daily too but we got we got to get back up and we got to say today tomorrow is gonna be a better day but as a saved Christian you know the best thing that we can do as a new Christian even as Christians been saved a long time these are the look it's not I'm not teaching anything new this isn't a new teaching this is the same thing stay away from the people that that you do sinful things with stay away from the simple thing you know the thing the area the places that you would go the people you'd be around and the things that you would have put in front of your face that would make you or cause you to sin more easily so what will be some examples again family and for you know when it comes to family and friends you know if if drinking and drugs was your problem and your family your family and friends you know they're like yeah come on over and they're just drinking and and and doing drugs in front of you you're putting yourself in a very vulnerable vulnerable position you know again you know so family and friends and then also well let me give you an example of something that I personally went through I had my was my dad's birthday and he was drinking now whatever his house and he asked me he like he was demanding me to drink with him I said no I'm not gonna drink with you and then like he got mad at me he got so mad at me that like it really affected our relationship from there on out like we really haven't been close since because I refused to drink with him I was like dad I'm a Christian and I don't drink anymore and then that was it so which is really funny because you know and I'm not trying to trash my dad because I love my dad but he was in like kind of like a really weird he was actually in a cult for real now he always wanted me to be like you know spiritual and he always wanted me to read the Bible and he was just like constantly preaching at me all the time but what he was preaching was like not right it's not like he was preaching me the King James Bible or something but he really did want me to be you know his version or whatever of a Christian is and I was just thinking about this last night I was just like I I became what you wanted me to to be dad you know and then he just hated me for it it's weird anyway it's tough so like when I'm talking about separating from family and friends you know it's not something I haven't been through it's not something that I haven't been touched with myself so but you know there are people that you have to completely cut out your life and I you know I obviously can't make that decision for you and I won't make that decision for you but you should know that when it comes to your marriage your wife your children their physical emotional spiritual well-being or your number one priority and it should be an automatic choice for you that shouldn't be anything that it's just like I love them but I love my family more I love you know God more so number three this is my last point separation must happen when family or friends become a danger like a real danger to your to your home or your family so if they threaten you over your children's nutrition their education spanking church involvement what church you go to call your church a cult when it's not try to usurp your parenting mistreat your spouse or if they're truly a reprobate like a sodomite a chomo or a false prophet and a chomo is a child molester okay completely I'm telling you that this is I'm not telling you you do whatever you want but I would completely cut these people out of my life forever and ever amen right you must act in these situations because if someone like this is and I don't want to like say people like these are things that I've dealt with as a pastor or in personal life but like there was someone of course I don't want to use my people's names of course but there was someone that that they weren't feeding their children solid food at like three months old and their mom the mom said if you don't start feeding them solid food by four months I'm turning you in to the government I mean would you what would you do would you keep that problem let them babysit your kid I mean they're they're trying to control your life and not only that trying to get the government involved in your life to destroy your family like and that's your own mom to me that's a no-brainer like bye have a nice life and and those to me would be unpardonable sins that I would not allow to come back into my life or you know turning you in for you know obviously education people could disagree with the homeschooling thing but look they're they're just pushing secular humanism and the LGBT H I J HIV H I J kill I'm gonna pee agenda on children and the trans thing is the biggest thing right now like they really just want to put these ghouls out in front of people's faces all the time and you know that that to me like if they're trying to you know trying to turn you in for you not educating your children right or or because you spank your kid if someone turned me if my parents turned me in for spanking my kids they would completely cut them off forever because the Bible says they're supposed to spank your kids and look you can disagree they could disagree with you and not like it but the minute they turn me in the CPS or some other agency like that done done forever I'm just telling you what I would do I'll tell you what you have to do but you're entering a world of pain when you when you allow someone in your life that would do that to you that's your mom that's your dad that's you know whatever whatever family member if it's your sister if it's your Siamese twin it doesn't matter who it is they're trying to destroy your life and it doesn't matter what that what reason they they deem you know because they're brainwashed into believing that spanking your kids is wrong that's their problem but when they infringe on your life and your children and try to and try to interject themselves into you into your your home life that's when it's you're you're done now by calling your church a cult I mean there's degrees of how family members would do this kind of stuff but you know I mean if they're just constantly just doing that I would just I would quit having I mean I'm not saying I wouldn't like calm and on their birthday or have some kind of distance relationship with them but if they believe that you're in a cult and you're brainwashed and and you're about to drink the kool-aid or something and they just keep just chiming that over and over again I wouldn't I wouldn't put up with that I just would not I wouldn't have anything to do with them so or if they mistreat your spouse over and over again you cannot let that happen you cannot let your parents mistreat your spouse maybe they even deserve it sometimes but you have to have your your spouse's back and you correct them on on the DL or whatever but don't ever allow your parents or any family members to talk down to your spouse in front of you to talk crap about them behind your back and and it's coming around to other family members don't allow that to happen your spouse is your partner you're one flesh you're not one flesh with them leave and cleave and don't allow them to do that and again if they're truly a reprobate if someone's a sodomite they're reprobate don't let your kids be babysit by them they'll be like oh no they're the exception of the rule they're the one pit bull that doesn't bite don't don't put your why would you risk your children on the maybe why like are they that unimportant to you that you just let some fag watch your kid like that is just insane to me and you know same thing with a child molester oh it's a child you know they're reformed no they're not they can never be reformed or if they're a false problem or letting them spend the night with these types of people if someone's just saying things to your children and they've said it in front of you or you hear that they're saying at the time that they spent the night at grandma grandpa's house and it comes back to you I would never let them spend the night again not ever because this is what this is like this is what do-gooder family members will do and what they're really doing is trying to tear your house down behind your back and people get mad about this all you want but the proof is in the pudding what is it what did Jesus say if you love father or mother more than me you're not worthy of me and if you're just allowing your your home to be torn down by outside forces no matter who it is I don't care if it's your auntie your uncle your mommy your daddy your ball attended granny I don't care who it is they should not be allowed to tear down your house like that period you must act make all the landmarks and boundaries very clear and understandable and if they continue to knock those down you have to cut them out of your life I mean I would that's all I'm saying but the cult thing is something I do want to go over this before I end the sermon here I want to I want to talk about this really quickly and maybe you have watched who's watched the sermon where pastor he men has talked about why the new IFB is not a cold raise your hand okay a lot of people have but some people haven't so I kind of rewatch the sermon last night because this is the thing that they this is what people will do to try to control you this is what your family members and friends will do to try to control you they'll say your church is a cult but here's the thing our church is the opposite of a cult we're less cult like then then all these other churches out there because there there are churches out there they're like pastor has ultimate control over their their churches and so like his first point like you know and I'll just I'll go through this list really quickly but and there's eight things I actually put it as an eighth an eighth one on here but he had seven points in a sermon and the first one was unquestioned messianic type leadership you know you're in a cult when you have unquestioned messianic type leadership have I ever said I was the Messiah have I ever said pastor Anderson was the Messiah who's the Messiah of this church Jesus Christ have I ever taught anything different no I haven't so and and there's no unquestioned people question me lots of times and people can question me and look Jesus and the Bible are the authority of this church what the Bible says is the authority we and and it's not like I just say something and you have to just believe it no matter what what what I tell you to believe is what what do I tell you to believe the Bible what do I tell you to check the Bible see a cult will tell you believe what we tell you the watchtower society will tell you believe what the watchtower society tells you to believe the Mormons were will say believe the Bible as it's interpreted by the Mormon Church or whatever you have to believe the Book of Mormon we just say Jesus the is the authority of this church and the Bible is our source of faith and practice and then number two the only that this is the the thing that though that Colts will do is I'll say the only that they're the only source of truth most cults will say this is the only source of truth this is what's true and right and nobody else has this truth but us and people say well the new IFB is like that no we're not there's millions of people that believe in salvation by faith alone in the world and we're not the only people that believe that there's a lot of things that we believe that millions of people around the world believe you think we're the only ones that believe in the post trip pre-wrath rapture you think we're the only ones that believe that Israel is not God's chosen people anymore that they're rejected as a nation lots of people believe that lots of people believe millions of people believe that so we we say there's other good churches now obviously I think that our churches are the best churches but I think that there's lots of other good churches out there too that we don't even know about so but a cult will say we're the only source of truth this is the only church you could ever come to and you know and Pastor Mann has made a good point in his sermon where he said we've we've sent people to other churches multiple times we say what do we preach go to the best church in your area we send people to other people's churches that's the opposite of what a cult would do the cult would say come to us because we're the only source of truth move here because we're the only source of truth we're just like you know you don't have to move here just go to the best church you can you know number three what a cult will say is that that they don't allow people to leave you know they stalk them like the watchtower society is you know the Jehovah's Witnesses they they spy on their people what does that other the the weird one with Tom Cruise is in Scientology they spy on you they they do anything they can to keep you and and and what does the new IFB do well we'll kick you out well like no you can't stay anymore no really you know you don't got to go home but you can't stay here that's the opposite of what Colts do number four promote impending apocalyptic doom what do we say let no man deceive you by any means that's what we say it can't happen at any moment that's what we say and what are these other cults say well you know it's it's gonna happen this year it's gonna happen in 1872 in 1963 you know they make all these dates and they said all these apocalyptic dates you know and then they all put on Nike shoes and purple sweatpants or whatever and then they all drink cyanide and dye or whatever that's what Colts do they they they have some apocalyptic doom coming and we teach that it can't happen any moment we're the opposite of that so number five they isolate people from society now this is what they'd say I'm doing right now but the funny thing is I'm saying it's your choice I'm just telling you what the Bible says that we should do in the most extreme cases would be to cut people out of your life but I don't think you should cut people out of your life because we do want to reach the people that were closest to it but you know they would say a cult would say isolate from society they have these communes like the creche compound in Waco and they'll they'll they'll have like all these different compounds that they make everybody move to and give all their paychecks to and all this other stuff and we're hands-off and encourage people to be in the world but not of the world like I've been preaching about today you know be in the world we need to be in the world to be effective but not of the world we don't isolate people we say hey we should probably live in a big city so we can get the most people saved right and then Colts take number six we give it away you know we don't at at this church everything is free we put everything out for free free Bibles free DVDs you know free homeschool field trips free food all kinds of stuff that we give away for free cults will take everybody's their paycheck is mainlined into their bank accounts my grandma was like join the Mormon Church I don't know she wasn't a Mormon necessarily she was kind of like a Jack Mormon or whatever they knocked on our door and brought her a bill for her tithing check that she hadn't been paying she was like don't ever come back here again but Colts take money from their their people in big amounts you know they take everything they have I think Pastor Mendez told a story about a guy who killed himself it was in Scientology and they found him on the ground and he had like 278 dollars or something in his hand the last money he had that Scientology didn't take away from his bank account it took all of his money so Colts take we give away we don't sell things at our church I mean see what you know these some of these old life be churches and I'm not you know they will call us Colts but we're not selling that we're not having a we don't have a bookstore in the back of our room where we sell things to people we don't do fundraisers and and charge our church members who are already tithing extra money to do stuff and so we give it away the Colts take Colts have number seven Colts have secret teachings only their followers are allowed to know but what do we believe that we don't hide what we believe to our own detriment we preach the hairiest you know sermons that you could think of and we put them on the internet for everybody to watch to the point where we're censored over it and the Colts do secret you know secret handshakes secret teachings and they won't tell you and they won't be forthright with you when even when you're out in public with them and say well don't you believe this and I'm like oh no we don't believe that Mormons call it lying for the Lord they can sit there lie to you because they're lying for the Lord so they can waste your time and whatnot so you know they have a secret teaching but we don't hide it and even our drama is public sometimes where we do it to our own detriment sometimes people like oh there's just the fighting the new IV in it but you know at least you can't say we're hiding it you can't say that you know the drama is out out and out in the public and number eight I have this one myself but rampant sexual abuse is fostered and committed in these Colts and they always end up being where they need to everybody needs to divorce their their wives and then David Koresh gets to be their husband and the husband of their of their daughters and all this other stuff and you know this kind of stuff is exposed in our church and we actually put things in place in our church where this stuff isn't going to happen you know obviously where there's a will there's a way but you know we have a family integrated church we don't have Sunday school classes or church buses or or areas where people that are these types of predators can come in and you know just destroy the flock so like we're the antithesis of a cult so I don't know if you wrote that down but you know those are things you know obviously if you listen to Pastor Mendez's sermon he really goes into it a lot more deep than I did but you know this is the kind of thing that you're gonna get from your family members at least you can have a comeback and say hey no actually we're not a cult because this is how we are but even after people like you know we put that sermon up on our on our YouTube page and people go no you guys are a cult it's like did you even listen to the sermon because he proved that we're not a cult it's like this is what cults do this is what we do we're way different see but here's the thing about the new IFB is that people want us to be their cult and people people that have been at our church want us to be a cult so bad that when we turn out to not be the cult then they leave or we they get kicked out and then they accuse us of being a cult it's just like what because we didn't do what you wanted us to do now we're a cult now you're a cult survivor it's just like what why are you wearing our t-shirt then anyway I've been accused I've been accused of family members of being the next David Koresh or Jim Jones to my wife a family member that we've been around for years and like I didn't even want to tell me but I wasn't I didn't even really get mad but maybe I would have at the moment but her aunt and uncle said that I was the next Jim Jones or David Koresh and my wife just cut them out and then she later told me and I was like okay whatever they're weird anyway but I mean we've we've had people we've had to cut our life so when I you know when I when they say things though that contradict to your children the Christian upbringing that you're raising them in you can't tolerate that for one second folks you just can't hard lines must be drawn no access to them alone ever I already said that but I mean I think it it bears repeating so they threaten to turn you into CPS or accuse you of abuse or spanking your kids have nothing to do with them I don't care who it is separation happens it's sad it's true it happens but sometimes they just separate themselves from you and I don't have time to go into scriptures because I got to be done but in Luke 6 it's it talks about how men will separate themselves from their company and cast your name out as evil for the Son of Man's sake I will have you turn it back to Matthew chapter 10 we'll finish up here I had more but we're done I think I made my point we'll close here on Matthew chapter 10 verse 21 the most important thing that you can do is recognize when these things are happening and or when it needs to happen or when it needs to completely you know when it when the separation needs to happen or what it needs to be completely severed for good Matthew 10 21 says and brothers shall deliver a brother to the death and the father the child and the children shall rise up against their parents and cause them to be put to death and he shall be hated of all men for my name's sake but he that endureth to the end shall be saved so I mean that's the harsh reality of it that's how divided things can get is that even your own parents will turn you in to be killed even your own children will turn you in to be killed I mean could that that to me is just really hard to imagine but I mean if you've had any kind of issues with your family members you already know that it can get to the point where they hate your guts and you're like how is this possible it's Christ because some people love him and some people hate him some people are indifferent but if they hate him and you're just sometimes you just don't want to believe that it could be your family member that does but if you think about Jeremiah the Prophet Jeremiah the Prophet was from Anathoth and everybody there wanted to kill him and God said you know what I'm gonna wipe that place off the face of the planet everybody is dying there and that was where he was from that's where he was born that's where his whole family was and God said because he treated him like that they wanted to kill him and the God wiped him wiped him away it's like and to us it's like man that sounds horrible like the God would just wipe our whole family out well but you just have to understand this that if they hate God that is what's gonna happen to them and we just have to just as hard as that is for us to want to hear or want to understand it is true and I'm not saying I want it to happen I'm just saying that God is the judge and he's gonna judge what he deems necessary and we don't really know where some people are at some people will never even say anything and that's fine I think that we should try to continue to reach our family and have them be a part of our lives as much as possible but when it's come when it comes to separating and dividing your family and your immediate family and your own spiritual well-being you do have to make a choice and that choice will be to separate from them so let's pray Lord we thank you so much for a great day in church and for the beautiful weather out there pray Lord that you just give us grace to get some people saved today and I pray that you just help those that are sick to feel better and we ask that you would just help us to have mercy and grace towards our family but also know the right time to to sever relationships and even with friends that we've been friends with for a long time Lord sometimes they do it on their own and we don't have to worry about it but I just pray that you'd help us Lord to to just have the right response and have the right attitude and the right wisdom to know what we're dealing with and and the wisdom to know when to sever these relationships and Lord when to have grace and mercy Lord we pray these things in Jesus name amen