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Amen, the title of the sermon this morning is Three Things God Wants From Fathers. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you Lord so much for all the dads in this room and the fathers and Lord. Let's pray that you'd help us Lord today, Lord help me to preach this sermon. It's important Lord and the families are failing in this country and in this earth and it all starts with fathers and I pray that you Lord help our men in our church, that our dads to be great fathers, Lord I pray that this sermon will be helpful to them in Jesus' name we pray, Amen. Okay so the verse I wanted to focus on is in verse number seven in Proverbs 20 where the Bible says, the just man walketh in his integrity, his children are blessed after him. So what is it talking about? The just man. Who's the just man? The man that's saved, right? And so he walketh in his integrity. What is integrity? Well integrity is being honest and having strong morals and principles. So a saved man should walk in integrity and another definition would be, here's a definition that people kind of give integrity is that you're doing what's right even when nobody is around. You ever heard that definition before? And it's true. So what do we want to be as just men? We want to be people that walk. We want to be men that walk in our integrity and what's it say? His children are blessed after him. That is a blessing to see that if a just man does walk in his integrity and he's a good dad, you know what? His children are going to be blessed after him and that's something that we want. Who that's a dad in this room does not want their children to be blessed? I would think it'd be very strange if a person doesn't want their children to grow up and be blessed. So I have three things that God wants from fathers this morning and number one is to be a good husband. God wants you to be a good husband. Be the husband that God wants you to be. You're like well Pastor Thompson what does this have to do with being a dad? It has everything to do with it because look you have a family structure and you know the first thing that we should put above all things is God, right? Our Heavenly Father should be the most important thing in our life. God should be number one in our lives. But you know what? Your wife should be number two. Your wife should be number two in your life. And so you know all these things, the family structure, the Christian family structure that God wants us to have, it starts with him first. It starts with God, our love for God, our integrity, walking in our integrity. But it also then starts also with being a good spouse. Being a good husband to our wives. Because you know how can you be a good father if you're not even a good husband? How can you say well I'm a good dad? A lot of people will say that too like they're a good dad. You know but then they're a cruddy husband. So how is it that you're a great dad and a cruddy husband? See you got to have balance in your life. You have to have balance in the family structure and so in order to be balanced first of all you've got to put God number one. You know we're supposed to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, with all of our minds, with all of our soul, with all of our strength and to love our neighbor as ourself. But God also commands us to love our wives as Christ loved the church. How much did Christ love the church? He loved the world so much that he gave his only gotten son but he loved the church so much that he died for them. He died for each and every person in this room and guess what this is the church. We are at church gathered together a congregation of believers. And so God wants us to love our wives and it's not it's not a suggestion. It's not well you know if you want to have the best life now it should be if you want to have the best life now. Part of that is loving your spouse, loving your wife. Look at Ephesians chapter 5 verse 25 and the Bible says it right here. Now obviously these scriptures are actually written to show how our relationship should be with God, how the church's relationship should be with Christ but it's using the example of husbands and wives to show us this picture. So look at Ephesians 5 25 it says husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. How much should your relationship, how close should your relationship be with your wife? So much that you give your life for your spouse. You give your life. You know would you jump in front of a bullet in front you know to save your wife's life or would you be like I was looking for a way to get out of this anyway. That's not how you should be with your with your wife. It says even as Christ also loved the church even as just like it's not hey you know their second fiddle to our kids. This is the problem. One of the problems in in this country right now is that people put their kids over their spouse. It's wrong. Your wife should be number one. Not your kids. You're like well she's mean to me. Well help her be nice. Love her. You know if a wife feels loved they're going to show you the respect that you want. But if they don't feel like you love them if they don't feel like you care about them then you know if they're already cantankerous and argumentative and a brawling and loud mouth woman then you're just going to accentuate that by not showing them love. Isn't that true. You know and obviously it takes two to tango. I understand that. You know some men are really really loving but they're so loving that they never put their foot down about anything either. There comes a time when you have to say you know what you're not running this household I am. If you don't like it there's the door. And look I'm not saying divorce them I'm just saying that hey as men we need to lead. We need to lead our wives. But you know how we do that how we begin to do that well we love God with all of our hearts with all of our minds with all of our soul with all of our strength. And then you know what we love our wives. You want to be a good dad be a good husband. That all meshes together it's like this symbiotic relationship that happens. And you know you can't take one out like you're not going to have a great marriage if God's not involved in it. And you're like well I know lots of people that have great marriages that God's not involved with it. Not a Christian marriage. You know we live in a real sick world right now where you know people are you know having multiple it's they're not even married they're just like having multiple relationships at the same time. Two men with one wife with one woman. That's weird. It's disgusting. We need to set the example and shine our light to the world and show them what a real marriage is supposed to look like. And I see Christians go through hard times with their marriages look pick the right person. You know how many times I've said that in this pulpit and in other pulpits. Pick the right person. It's an important decision. It can mean everything it can be the way your life goes for the rest of your life. So don't just flippantly jump into a marriage go through a season of life with them. You know Pastor Mendez always tells people that with his and I tell people the same thing hey go for a year with them. You know then you'll find out if their parents suck at cooking at Thanksgiving. You'll find out whether you like and if they insist we're going to our parents you know things like that can destroy relationships. In-laws can destroy relationships. If the in-laws are terrible then maybe you might want to reconsider I love you I love you but your parents suck sorry I'm not going to marry you. You're like that's pretty harsh Pastor Thompson. You know how many times I see marriages on the rocks because of in-laws and just just so I'm not preaching about in-laws today but I will say this in-laws stay out of your children's relationships stay out. It's not your business. When you walk them up when you give your daughter away at the marriage altar you're done. It's his wife now. It's not your business to get involved in other people's marriages. Shut your lips. It's so irritating to me. It's like they sit down and they hear this same preaching they're like well I think I'll just get involved anyway. Shut up. Sit down. Let them work things out. Anyway I don't know why I'm so mad about that but I am. I'm tired of it. You know listen to the preaching. They too shall be one flesh. It's not they too plus all the in-laws and cousins and brothers and sisters and friends. Oh he ain't treating you right girl. That's wickedness. That's not what we need involved in our church marriage relationships. I don't get involved in people's relationships either. You think I want to be involved in your marriage. I already got one wife and she's enough for me. I don't need to be involved in other people's relationships and their marriages. I don't want to be. You think I just sit there and I'm just like with my phone. I don't have my phone up here but this is my phone right. This is one from the 90s. I just can't wait. I wish they would just call me so I could give them some counsel. Do you think I sit around doing that. I don't. I go why can't they get this right. Why can't they just read the Bible and see what it says. Husbands love your wives. That's what it says. And he gave himself for it. Are you giving your all to your wife. Are you loving her. I'm not saying laying down and be the doormat. I'm saying are you loving her because you know a lot of respect and look wives are supposed to respect their husbands regardless of what happens. It's both are supposed to be doing the things that they're supposed to be doing. Let's look at Colossians chapter 3 verse 19. The Bible says, Colossians 3 verse 19 says, husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them. Be not bitter against them. I think I heard a really great quote from I'll bring up Pastor Menes again. He had a good quote in one of his sermons not too long ago and it said be better not bitter be better not bitter. Hey if you're bitter against your spouse all the time maybe you just need to get better as a husband. Why don't you think of it that way instead of trying to blame them for everything that's going wrong. Blame yourself. Take responsibility for what you're not doing right. And look if you're in a new marriage let me just explain something to you. You shouldn't be working 90 hours a week. You should be working as little as possible not as little as possible enough to support your family. But look to try to labor to be rich in a new marriage if they're just sitting at home waiting for you to get home and you're never there and you're never spending time with your kids. Let me tell you something it's not going to be a good marriage and I'll tell you what they don't feel loved. Doesn't the Bible say that if you're a new in a new marriage you're supposed to take a year and not go. You're not supposed to go to the military and be a soldier and I would say this. You probably shouldn't be starting a new business. You probably shouldn't be spending so much time away that you never get a chance to even show your wife that you do love her. If your marriage relationship starts off and you're just never home you're just bye. Or you're always with your friends or you're always doing you know love your wife. Why did you marry her if you didn't even want to love her? Why? Why did you get married if you didn't want to love your wife? Because I'll tell you what if you don't get that right your family is never going to be right. It says be not bitter against them. And look you know why the Bible says that? You know why the Bible emphasizes these things? Because men have a hard time with love. We're not really super emotional by nature. You know they'll be like your love your wife will be crying about something you're like what are you crying about? But you don't do that. Don't make that face. Trying to help you here. Don't do that. You know the kid in the meme with the little buck teeth she's like don't be that. When they're like crying like oh baby it's okay you know you're like. We don't understand that because men most men don't cry a lot. I'm not saying don't cry because we should cry sometimes. But if you're a man and you're always crying you need to do some push ups take some testosterone or something. You need to take the skinny jeans off and put some bag of your pants on or something. But men shouldn't be super emotional. But why did why does God emphasize us loving because it's something we need to emphasize on. Because it's something we struggle with. Doesn't God put things in his word so he can help us. And so if we're struggling with love hey you need to work on it. If you're struggling with not being you know if you're struggling with loving yourself more than your wife you know the Bible says if you love your wife you do love yourself because you're one flesh. So then it says in Colossians 3 19 husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them. You know why? Because men get bitter. You know men get tired of you just feeling like about everything and wives don't nag your husbands. That's annoying too. But you know be not bitter against them. Why because they're always nagging. It gets annoying or the constant put downs. Men don't like to be put down. You know what they like. They like to be respected. So you know wives help your husband out. If you want them to be loving won't you be respectful. If they fail don't be ready to cut them down over everything that they do. You know what. Guess what. Being a leader is hard and you get to be able to say well you know I got to ask my husband. You get to be able to use those excuses and they're not excuses they're actually what you should be like. But what I'm saying is that you need to make sure that you are setting your husband up for success. You know if your husband's not being successful maybe he's struggling as a leader. Help him be a better man. You know help him to be a Proverbs 31 wife and try to you know make sure that his name is praised in the gates of the people that people look and they say I respect that man. Don't talk bad about your husbands behind their backs to other women or other people in church. That's wrong. You know who your problems should stay between you and them period. Not you and the kids. If your dad was a better provider. That's wrong. You should never do that. And so I'm trying to help you wives if you want to be loved you want to help them be a good dad we'll set them up for success and quit ragging on them all the time. Don't be the continual dropping woman. You're Chinese water torturing them. Sorry I'm not trying to do Asian hate but the Chinese water torture is what it's called right. OK whatever. Where you're just dropping water. If you just someone just drop like a thing of water on your head constantly it would it would start to hurt. It would be annoying. And so as the Bible kind of kind of teaches it the same way it's like you know the wives that are contentious are continual dropping. You know it's better to dwell on the corner of a housetop than it is a loud and brawling wife to hang out you know to be in some wife that's just never shuts up and never quits nagging at you all the time. That's annoying. And no man should have to put up with a noxious wife that just sits there and rips on you all the time. That's wicked. It's wrong. You shouldn't be doing it. You want to be loved. Show some respect. All right. So we're not preaching about women though I just want to help you out there. So be men be better not bitter. That's a that's a good principle to put into your life. Hey if they're always nagging at you'd be better there if they're whining about the things that you're not doing right well maybe you're not doing something right. Should they be ragging on you that much. No but maybe you should take a clue just feel like hey maybe I need to get better in this area. And look I haven't arrived. I still have things that I'm still working on my why I'm like a you know I'm aging like wine I'm getting better. I'm talking about new wine grape juice. But anyway yeah. So but I'm still not perfect I'm still not the perfect husband. But you should have seen me when we met. I was way different. So again I'm not a perfect husband but we should try to be as good as we can. And you know what to be a good husband is going to make you a better dad. Right. So there's a woman that is calling for Father's Day to be renamed Special Persons Day. Yeah I remember like when I preached about mothers like not too long ago they're trying to stop mothers from being having a special day too because these queers and these transgenders and all these people they want they don't want there to be a normal family so let's just replace dads let's just replace moms and we'll just have a day called Special Persons Day. I mean it's so that children without dads don't feel left out or upset about their situation. You know I feel bad for people that don't have dads. The Bible says that we're supposed to care for those people that are widows and that are fatherless. We're supposed to care and love those people but we don't have to downgrade dads in order to make that happen. It's what we're never going to call it's never going to be in the bulletin. Any Special Persons Day at this church. You're all special people. Look there's nothing wrong with celebrating and trying to build dads up on Father's Day and also tear them down so they can get so you can build them you know you tear them down then you build them back up right. That's how men respond to a lot of good training. You know if people are razzing you at work they're just trying to make you better. You know sometimes bosses got to get on their workers. You keep doing something wrong and then they're going to get screamed at. So that's just you know ask Rylan. I mean I've had to scream at him. He screamed at me one time. I'll tell you the story after church so I was kidding. He's like he's like not again. But hey we need to have men and fathers be celebrated and not called Special Persons Day so that we don't offend anybody. You know I'm sorry you don't have a dad. I'm sorry some queer raised you but that's not my fault. Why don't you get on God's program. Why don't you get saved when you had the chance you freak. And you would have a dad. You could be a dad. You know and they're dads now. Two dads three dads. There's two moms. There's trans. One's a trans dude that's become a woman and the other one's a trans woman became a man and then they get together and get married. Talk about confusion. So you got some thing with a with a baby in its belly with a beard. It's disgusting. Hey there's nothing wrong with being a strong man in this world. And that's what God wants from you husbands dads leaders. He wants you to be strong. He doesn't want you to be weak. Honey I'll take you out to dinner if that's okay with you. That's not how you should be like hey we're going here. You know and obviously sometimes women make it difficult right. Soon as they pull up to the drive through they're like. So it probably would be better for us to just order for them in a lot of situations. But this person that wants to make it special person's day is an Australian activist with a doctorate in early childhood studies. Yeah I'm sure they're really good at it. Dr. Red Ruby Scarlet I wonder if that's her God given name. Is campaigning for the name of the annual holiday to be changed as she believes it would help a lot of youngsters. You know it would help nothing. You know it helps preaching forth and thundering forth God's word. That's what helps. You know it helps building men up and saying hey be strong. Be a good husband. Be a good father. Be a good leader. Those are the things that are going to help society not just tossing Father's Day out the window. You know and there's a big movement now to just abolish marriage totally. You know I thought that the I thought that the homos just wanted the right to get married. No they wanted the right to destroy marriage. That's what they really want and destroy society because that's what's happening now. That is what's happening. So we got to not let that happen. We got to fight against that kind of mentality and that kind of thing. And we're going to preach what's right and true. So how do we stop this kind of trash from happening. Well be the best hub husband you can possibly be. Love your wife cherish her treat her well and show your children how married couples should be as Christians and men if you can't get the marriage right again you're not. How are you going to be a great dad if you can't even if you suck at marriage. How it's it all has to mesh together well and look nobody's going to be perfect. No wife's going to be perfect. No husband no children are going to be perfect. But you know what men we can make a difference in our families. We can make a difference for the next generation. I want my grandchildren to grow up and know the Lord. I want all my children are saved. I want all my grandchildren to be saved also. And you know what I'm going to do I'm going to do my best to support my children and to let them raise their children for the Lord. And hey if they do a better job than I did. Praise God. But you know what I'm not going to do I'm not going to be that that idiot grandparent that just said oh don't do don't speak them don't do that. They're not your kids they're your grandkids. Let them raise them. If you have something that you want to interject every once in a while maybe you can help them out and steer them in the right direction that's good. But there's these doting grandparents that are just so doting that they're ruining their relationship with their grandkids. You can't do that. You've got to you know you've got to support the parents. So anyway that's for grandparents out there. But you know maybe maybe your life was messed up as it as a kid. Maybe you're not in the exact situation of God's perfect will but you can you can change things around for somebody else. You can be that grand. Maybe you weren't a very good parent when you were growing up. But you know you could be the best parent you can be now and then you can be the best grandparent for that grandchild now. You can help that grandchild succeed in life because you know what they're not going to succeed in is if they're being raised by someone or your influences will tell a special person's day. Forget Father's Day. You know when people get older they say that it's said that they get softer about things and it might be true but we should fight against that mentality. We should fight against it. So well so number one you need to be the husband that God wants you to be. What does God want from us. He wants us to be the best husband we could be. Number two we need to be the dad that the dad that God wants to be the father that God wants you to be. So let's look at Ephesians Chapter 6 verse 4 Ephesians Chapter 6 verse 4 Bible says any fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Now God doesn't want us to provoke our children to wrath. But so what does that tell you that some fathers provoke their children to wrath don't they. And it's easy to do you can tease them you can mock them you can break them down to the point where they just don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. All they think about you is wrath. You know but what is it what is the second half of the verse says but bring them up. So what does that talk about raising them bringing them up bringing them up alongside of you in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You're like Pastor Thompson that sounds soft. There's nothing soft about loving your children there's nothing soft about caring about your children because what does nurture mean. It means care for and encourage the growth or development of care for and encourage the growth or development of. We should be as dads as fathers we should nurture our children we should care about how and encourage them to grow up for the Lord and for the things of God and to be a good man and be a loving husband. Hey the first point was about being a loving husband. How do you show your children how you show your son how to be a loving husband will you show your wife love you show them that you love and then you know what they're going to look after for someone that's like mom in a way where hey I want my you know I want my my wife to be like my mom. I want my wife my I want to be like my dad was to my wife or to his wife excuse me. So we need to make sure that we're bringing them up in this nurture and also admonition admonition is an act or action of admonishing authoritative counsel or warning. So you know people wives don't like it when or moms don't like it when dads get critical of their children. I've noticed that. I don't know if you've noticed that before but you know if you say hey dummy what are you doing. Moms usually don't like that. Don't call them that. Don't say that. And obviously there's a time to do that. OK. It shouldn't be every day over every mistake they make over every you know I reserve those conversations for when they're doing something that really is dumb or really is stupid. So sometimes you need to get your children's attention and say hey dummy what are you doing. You know and I'm not saying that you should call your kids dummy OK. Wives are already just like. They're super sane now right now they're just like. But Dragon Ball Z is coming. But look we we need to bring them up but we also we need to bring them up in nurture but we also need to have some authoritative counseling or warning with them. We need to admonish them when they do something wrong. We need to tell them what they're doing is wrong. We need to help them and train them to do what's right. And sometimes that's negative. Sometimes it's positive but sometimes it's negative. And look dads why is it why is this first here for us. Why is so that God can tell us hey I know I know that you're hard sometimes. I know that you're you know no nonsense sometimes. I know that you yell at your kids sometimes probably. I know you probably call them dummy sometimes. But look there's a time to be hard and there's a time to be soft with your kids. There's a time to be loving and nurturing. And when when we're admonishing them it doesn't always have to be in this super negative way. But why is God telling us this because we have the tendency to be the opposite don't we. We don't like to have talks just stop talking just work you know and that's that's the way we are sometimes and we want we we try to bring it put a little hardness onto our sons because life is hard. You know when you're out in the workforce and someone else is screaming at you know that the time that dad screamed at you when he was working under the car might help you out with your boss in the future because you know I guess what not all your bosses are going to be nice. Not all your bosses are working in a Fortune 500 company where they can't talk to you like that. Some of the people in this room are in construction and sometimes you get yelled at in construction. Don't you. I've been yelled at plenty of times. I was just explaining it my sermon the other night that sometimes you know when you're working in construction everybody can be yelling and screaming at each other but then like a little while later when all the heat's gone. Have you ever seen concrete finishers work before. Good night. There are a bunch of prima donnas first of all. But second of all there are a bunch of screen Madonna's. They scream at each other like crazy where I work. Oh man like but why. Because it's a pressure situation. The sun's beating down on the concrete the concrete was already you know it's already starting to harden up and they're like you know if they screw this up they're going to have to bust all this out and have to fix it. And ladies you might not know what I'm talking about but concrete is very a tricky kind of trade. And so there's that when you're finishing concrete you know that's it's super stressful when it's not going the slope that you want it to go and it's 90 degrees outside and it's pressure. And men are yelling at each other and screaming at each other. But why are they doing that just because that's just how men are. Sometimes men just get you know when you get frazzled in a work situation your tendency is to just scream because you don't want to talk. This isn't the time. Maybe we should do it like this. You get those soft guys that come onto your crew and you're just like just shut up and work. Start working. But that's the way that's the way dads tend to be sometimes with their kids. And look the Bible is telling us that it shouldn't always be like that. As a matter of fact we're not supposed to provoke them to wrath. We're supposed to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You know this thing that guys there's this thing called love. Let me define it for you just in case you forgot all right. An intense feeling of deep affection. Every every man in this room loves their children. I mean I don't want you to raise your hands if you don't. But every you know and there's some times you want to smack them but like but you do love them. You know every every man in this room loves their children. Sometimes we just aren't really good at communicating that love. So and I'm not saying put a pink sweater on and hang out and whatever but I am saying that you do you should show your children love. You should show them that you love them. You should bring them up and teach them things. Not everything has to be negative but sometimes it does have to be negative. It does. And I don't think there's anything wrong with correcting your children and being hard especially on your sons. You know you've got to be hard on them sometimes because you know especially when they're making when you feel like they're making a big mistake. See that's the time when you do interfere with your children before they leave the house before they screw up their life. You help them make decisions that would be for the best interest of them. You know but if they want to go out and buy you know they're living at home. They don't have bills to pay or whatever. You know they got all this money they got more money than you do which is weird. But they got more money than you do and they're like I'm going to go buy a new Corvette. That's going to be the time when I'm going hey stupid why don't you save money for a house. Why don't you save money for you know your wife. You know you can't live with mommy and daddy forever. You know when you're 20 it's not when they're 20 you know they should be looking for a wife. You know and obviously I wouldn't kick my kids out of my house or whatever but I mean I guess if he's 40 if Josh is 40 and playing video games in the basement. You know he's online arguing with people all day in the basement or whatever. He won't come out of his room because mom sliding the plate to the door like a kikimori or whatever. Then we're going to have to ask them so then I probably failed as a dad but but hey we you know got look got dads. God wants you to love your children. He wants you to nurture them and bring them up in the admonition of the Lord. So that's the key part of that is admonition of the Lord. What does God want for your life. We should be instilling those things into our children. We should also love them you know and they should know that they're loved. Do your children know that you love them. Dads that's that's a good question to ask. Do they know because they should know if they don't know then you need to work on it. See what we don't just learn everything the moment our kids are born. We don't know everything all week. That's the time when I cry so my kids are born like you're going to cost me so much No I'm just kidding. No but when you become a dad like even brother Alex was telling me you know just recently that he's like it changes everything. You can't explain that to somebody. You cannot explain that experience that's a life experience that you can't explain. When you see your first child born it changes you can't you can't help it. But how can I explain that to someone that doesn't have a child. No you can't. But you know you're not going to be the perfect father from there on out. You have to work towards being a good father. You have to put instill some knowledge into you know where you're going to get the knowledge. This book. This book is going to tell you all you need to know you know. Do you think that God just said hey be a good father but I'm not going to teach you how to do it. Oh he's going to teach you how to do it in this book. He's going to teach you how to be a good husband in this book. I mean what are what are you even. Where are you getting your help from. Are you getting it from Dr. Spock who teaches you not to spank your children. You know that's why we have a couple of generations. Look at the generation that's growing up right now. This entitled bratty generation. Give me this. Give me that. I should have this. I should have that. I should have free health care. I should have free money. I should just have free money so I can throw bombs at federal federal buildings all day long. That's where we're at now. All we're doing is just trying to swim against the tide and try to make a difference one family at a time. Look the Bible says you're supposed to discipline your children also. So look God and this is people get this idea that God like is all love. Everything's love. Free love. White dove. All this other stuff. That's not how God is. That's not his only characteristics. He is love. But he's also wrathful. He also disciplines his children. You know we're not supposed to you know be upset when God chastens us as his children. So but what does that tell you that you should chase in your children and they shouldn't get upset about it either. I mean obviously you know when you're getting chased that it doesn't feel good. You don't want it. You know that's why kids run from you. That's why kids hide. That's why you have to pull the mattress and pick the mattress up. You got to get them no matter what you got it. Sometimes it's like going in the Vietnam tunnels to try to get your kids because they're going to get the spanking right. But and believe me I'm saying that because I have experience in that area. Where's Remy? He's under the bed. I literally had to tear a whole box spring apart to get to him one time. But you know we should discipline our children but we shouldn't overdo it. You know Remy just you know he thought I was going to overdo it. Maybe I was going to. I don't know. But I mean you got to have some temperance in your spanking guys. You shouldn't just be doing this with a belt. I mean that's that's overdoing it. Be controlled. You know if you know you're going to just lose control then you need to take some time and wait. There's some times when I've had to wait. There's some times I've had to wait days before I could put a spanking like well you should do it right away. I agree with you. But if that beating is going to put them in the hospital then you know I should wait. By the way I've never beat my kids to the point where they got to go to the hospital. I'm just saying right like we need to be able to control our spirit and sometimes your kids do stuff that makes you really mad and you want to grab them and shake them. But I'm not talking about babies all right. So anyway like Pastor Thompson said shaking baby syndrome now Proverbs 22 verse 15 says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. What does this say that was the Bible say that we're supposed to use a rod. What is that a little stick. It's a little stick. It's not a belt. It's not an axe handle. It's not a brick. It's not a two by four you know which are things that I've been hit with before. But it's it's not a bicycle inner tube. It's not that it's a rod. It's a little stick that stings the flesh. OK. Proverbs 23 verse 13 withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die. So you're not supposed to beat a kid with a rod that's going to make them die. You know so you're not supposed to spank them to the point where you're putting them in the hospital. You know what I'm saying. It's it's a corrective measure and it should sting. It should hurt. They should cry. If they don't if they if they turn around and go like that after you spank them you didn't do it right and if your kid still does that and you spank them really hard then you know you're going to have to spank harder. I don't know what to say but they shouldn't be laughing at the end of a spanking. That goes for moms too. Your children should fear you also fear but obviously the big ones are for dad sometimes but they should they should be afraid. Just like we should be afraid to break God's commandments. Children should be afraid to break their children's commandments. I mean children should be afraid to break their parents' commandments. But yeah so we it's God is showing us a picture. He spanks us. We should spank our children. So the Bible says correct thy son in Proverbs 29 verse 17 turn to Proverbs Psalm 127 verse 3 Psalm 127 verse 3. I'm going to read Proverbs 29 17 it says correct thy son and he shall give the rest. Yea he shall give the light unto thy soul. We're supposed to correct them. You know what's going to do it's going to give you rest. You know what's really annoying to see in public is kids that are just running crazy going wild and then their parents like no honey don't do that and they're like the biggest brats ever. Hey your kid shouldn't be running around the restaurant terrorizing the waitresses. I'm serious about this. People would always come to my to us. I've had people buy us meals before because our kids were so well behaved in restaurants. Your kids should be afraid to get out of line at the restaurant. You know and don't just let them do that like they want down. You know sometimes you're just like talking to someone you're like you put your kid down you don't even think about it but like you got to think about that stuff. Don't just put them down and let them terrorize. You know they should be people should be able to look at our families and say hey that's a well behaved family. Those kids are well behaved. Why are they so well behaved. Well they might not like how we get the results. But the results are the results nonetheless. The results are our families can go out in public and you don't have to chase them around and you know obviously little kids are a little harder to deal with. I get that but our kids should not be the monsters and dads that starts with you. You want to be a good parent raise your kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord but also don't forget to correct them with the discipline that they need. I had to turn to Proverbs Psalm chapter 127 verse 3 it says low children are in heritage of the Lord. So look God gave them to us so that we could raise them for him. It's not so they could just we could just raise and say I don't really care what religion they are. They could just make their own decision. No you should raise them up in the ways of the Lord. So it says the fruit of the and the fruit of the womb is his reward as arrows are in the hand of a mighty man. So are children of the youth. So they're like your arrows. Your children are your arrows. So that means you know do you think your kids would stick up for you right now. If you were in like some kind of argument with somebody else or whatever would your kids get your back because the last I checked when you shoot an arrow it's on your side right. And that's what it says that you know as arrows are in the hand of a mighty man so are the children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. So it's good to have a lot of children to all this you know this birth control nonsense it should never be preached or taught in Christian churches. God said that we're supposed to bring forth abundantly OK. We're supposed to fill the earth. You know he wants us to have many children. There's nothing wrong with having big families. You know people mock that now because they want to have their one point five children and their two and a half dogs. They want to have more dogs and they have children nowadays. People worship animals for real. It's weird. It's out there. It's very prevalent actually but look what it says. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. You know what. I want my kids to have my back. I don't have a problem with that whatsoever. I got criticized recently about you know how my kids were defending me on some YouTube comments or something. You know what. You know what I'd rather not not have is them not defending me and tell me I'm wrong. You know what I would not want is them to just say Dad you're wrong. You know what I don't want to have them be is just just soft and just not loving me. I want my kids to love me. And you know what if they stick up for me good. I'm happy that they did. You know it does. Do they do they say everything perfectly correct all the time. Probably not. Are they always perfect. No. Am I always perfect. No. Are you always perfect. Do you always say the right things all the time. No but you know what. My kids got my back and I'm glad they do. And I have no problem with them defending me. I don't need them to defend me. But hey I got a quiver full of them and you know they spoke with the enemies at the gates. So what. Sorry your kids don't defend you. Sorry your kids are not in church. Sorry your kids suck. I like my kids. I love my kids. My kids are still in church. My kids still go to church three times a week. My kids are involved in ministry. My kids go soul hunting. What do your kids do. Go to some lame garbage church aren't even in church. Shut your mouth. So anyway number one we need to be a good husband and a good father. God wants us to be that. Number three we need to be the leader that God wants you to be. So you're not just supposed to be a good dad and a good and a good husband but you also need to be a good leader. Joshua chapter 24 verse 15 I know I've got to hurry here. Joshua chapter 24 verse 15 it's a very famous verse that probably a lot of people have hanging on their walls at home. But sometimes people have this hanging on their walls at home but they don't even apply the principles behind it. Be the leader that God wants you to be. Was Joshua a leader. Yes or no. Was he a good leader. Yeah the children of Israel followed him all the days of his life. You know what his kids did too. Look at Joshua 24 verse 15 and if it seemed evil unto you to serve the Lord choose you this day whom you will serve. He's talking to the children of Israel is like hey you've got your choices to make and I've got it and I got my choice to make too. Whether you want to serve whether the gods which your father served that were on the other side of the flood or the gods of the Amorites and whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. That's what that verse is teaching is that hey Joshua was a leader and Joshua said you know what you guys can do whatever you want. I'm telling you what God said you should do and you can do what you can make your own choices in life. But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. Does that include his wife. Does that include his children. Yes see to be a good man. You want to be a good dad. Be a good leader in your home and say you know what I don't care what everybody else in the church is doing. I don't care if they're not spanking their children. I'm going to spank my children. I'm going to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I'm going to spend time with my family. You know what I want to make sure that my kids and my wife love God and that they serve him all the days of their life. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. That should be the model of every man in this church whether you have children or not. Hey your house is your castle. Serve the Lord. You know some of this stuff you know obviously this is geared towards husbands and it's geared towards fathers. But hey as an individual you should serve the Lord. Your house. Hey if it's just you and your house. Hey serve the Lord. Serve him with all your might. And make sure that your house is serving him. Hey that's not a very big responsibility it's just you. But everybody else. Hey be the leader in your home. Be the leader in your home. The Bible says we're supposed to teach our children. We're supposed to teach our wives. See the wives aren't supposed to be teaching everybody else right. The husbands are supposed to be teaching their wives. Hey if you have any questions ask your husband at home. If Pastor Thompson wasn't saying something maybe he said something he didn't understand well ask your husband at home. Don't go on the Internet and ask somebody else for their opinion. Penitentian Anderson what do you think about this? Why don't you ask your husband at home. And hey husband if you don't know you should be ashamed. You should find out the answer. You should know the Bible. You should be the leader. You should know the Bible better than your wife. Better than your children. And you should be the leader. The children shouldn't be the leader of the home. The wife shouldn't be the leader of the home. But sadly that's what's going on in this country and in this world today. You know when you got you know women preachers like when people think they need to have women preachers then you know things have gotten really bad. But that's always been the case. Women always want to assert authority over men. That's why the Bible says that they're not supposed to assert authority over the man. So what does it mean to teach? Well it means to show or explain someone how to do something. If you're a leader in anything that you do and men just flat out we need to be leaders everywhere. I'm not saying you're supposed to rise up and try to take my leadership from this church. What I'm saying is you can be you need to be the leader in your own home at the workplace and you can be a leader in this church. There's nothing wrong with being a leader in the church. Just you know that's what God wants you to be. That's what God wants every man to be. You know when there was two men prophesying in the camp and Joshua said my Lord Moses forbid them. He said envious thou for my sake. I want every man in this room to be a preacher. God wants everybody in this room to be a preacher and I'm not saying you have to get up here and preach beyond the pulpit but preach somewhere. Preach to your children. Preach to your wife. Preach at the door. Preach for people to get saved. God wants everybody to prophesy. He wants all men to preach and prophesy. So when it comes to leadership we need to be the leaders in our homes, in our marriage, with our children, in our church, in the workforce. That responsibility falls to men. You're like well my boss is a woman. Well I'm sorry. Sorry about that but you'll find a job where your boss isn't a woman. Every time I've had a woman boss it sucked. I'll just be honest with you okay. I've had some of the worst experience with women bosses. You know why? Because they should be at home baking cookies and raising their children. I know that's hard preaching today but it's out of season but it's still in season for me. And I'm sorry if that offends people but I'm sorry not sorry. So anyway we're supposed to know you know what the will of the Lord is and what we're supposed to teach in our homes. And we're supposed to set the examples in our church. The women should not be the leaders in our church. It should be the men. You're like you're sexist, you're misogynistic, you're this, you're that, shut up. Don't say amen women. The men are supposed to take the lead. Am I saying that women are lesser than men? No I'm not saying that. God loves us all the same. There's neither male nor female, Jew or Greek. We're all one in Christ Jesus. But that doesn't mean that you're a leader. You can be a leader amongst the women but like there's just your husband should be the head of your home. The husband should be the head of the wife and the head of their children. So Deuteronomy 11 18, the Bible says in Deuteronomy 11 18, therefore shall you lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul. Let me read that again because some of the people are still flipping there. Deuteronomy 11 verse 18 says, therefore shall you lay up these my words. Not her words, not your words, not the kids' words. My words is the Lord speaking here. In your heart and in your soul and bind them for a sign upon your hand that they may be as frontlets between your eyes and you shall teach them to who? Your children. Speaking of them, when thou sittest in thine house, when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, when thou risest up. That's pretty much sounds like all the time, doesn't it? You're supposed to be preaching whose words? God's words, right? And thou shalt write them upon the doorpost of thine house and upon thy gates. So you're supposed to be writing them down. It says that your days may be multiplied. Whose days? Your days. And the days of your children. You want to be a good dad? Teach your children the Bible. Teach your wife the Bible. Be a priest in your own home. Hey, we talk about how we're kings and priests, but a lot of the times the men are failing to be priests in their own homes. You want your kids' days to be multiplied? You want your children to be saved? You want your grandchildren to be saved and your children's children and their children's children? This is why the children of Israel failed because the men failed to teach their children. And after Joshua, there rose up a generation that knew not the Lord. Why is that? Because they failed to teach their homes. They failed to teach their children. They failed to teach their wives. And you know what happened? Dysfunction. You ever heard that term, dysfunctional family? That's how it happens. You know, all it takes is one generation to fail and then all the other generations will fail also. And then, you know, I'm a first generation Christian. How did that happen? Do you think there's ever been generations of Christian in my family? Maybe. But you know where I don't want it to fail? I'm a first generation Christian. My children are second generation Christians. I want my grandchildren to be third generation Christians and so on and so forth. But you know what I don't want to do? I don't want to fall down on the job of my God-given leadership over my family. And you shouldn't either. You want your children to be multiplied? You want your grandchildren to be multiplied? Teach them the Bible. Teach the Bible in your home and you shall lay up these words in your heart. Men, you've got to have the word of God in your heart. You have to have it in your mind, in your soul. And so when your wife comes and asks you a question, know what you're talking about. If she's read the Bible cover to cover more than you have, you're failing. If your children are reading, you know, except for Zechiah, you know, he's different. He's got more time on his hands, okay? But you should know the Bible better than your children. You should know what the Bible says. So look what Joshua chapter 1 says. Joshua chapter 1 says, this book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth. The Bible, right? But thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein, and then thou shalt make thy way prosperous. And then thou shalt have good success. You want to be a good leader? Well, hey, meditate on God's word day and night and, you know, observe to do all that is written in the book, and then your way is going to be prosperous. Then thou shalt have good success. Dads, you want to have a good success in your home? Don't forget about the Bible. Don't forget about God's words. Don't forget about God's commandments. Do them. Observe them. Don't forget about the words in your heart. I can't stress this enough. You want to be a good leader in your home? God wants you to be a good leader in your home. Those verses are very evident, right? But you have to actually do it. You know, in order to be a successful leader, you have to actually put some effort into it. You say, well, there's people that are just born leaders. Yeah, that's probably true. But do you think that those born leaders had to work on the things to make themselves even better? They do. A real true leader will work on their weaknesses. They'll work on their strengths. You know, people that are athletically gifted, we were talking about this yesterday. People that are athletically gifted, do you think that they're just great at sports because they're athletically gifted? Or do you think that they actually had to work hard to develop those gifts? I think of Damian Lillard. He's a great basketball player. He's really good at shooting three pointers. Have you ever seen him shoot three pointers before? When people are up in his face, he's falling away and shooting them from half court and making them. You know, I actually watched an interview of him one time, and he's not a Christian. But you know, what he said was still good. He's like, I work hard every day. When everybody else has gone home for the day, I'm still working on my shot. And he just talked about how hard work. He wasn't even like a top draft pick. He wasn't even like a highly recruited person. He does have the talent to play. But you know how you get better at anything is by working on the things. You know, you have strengths in your life. We all have talents that God's given us. And maybe you're not good at public speaking, or maybe you're not, you know, whatever it is you're not good at, well, work on those weaknesses. But hey, work on your strengths too, because your strengths are going to be what take you farther in your life. But not everybody has the same talents. Not everybody, even playing basketball, just think about playing basketball. Dennis Rodman, which he's a weirdo, but he was a great rebounder and a great defensive player. But was he a great shooter? No. He wasn't a great shooter. He wasn't a great scorer. But you have to work on the talents on the thing. Was he a great rebounder though? Yeah. Was he a great defender? Yes, he was. You have to work on it to do that. So if you want to be a great leader, you want to be a great husband, you want to be a great dad, then you need to work on it. You can't just, you're not automatically going to be a great person. You're not automatically going to be a great husband. You're not automatically going to be a great dad. And you're not automatically going to be a great leader. You have to work on it. You have to work on those things. The Bible says that we're supposed to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old, he will not depart from it. So as leaders, it's our job to train our children. How do you do that? Well, you work on it. You work with them. When you're a boss, you know, I know Brother Joe's a boss here. He's like a boss. But he has to train people. And you know what? Training people isn't always fun. Sometimes training people is really annoying. I actually don't like training people at work because I just don't have the patience for it. But do I have to train people anyway? Yes I do. Do I like training every aspect of being a pastor? I don't. But I'm a pastor. It's my job. I have to do it. And you know what? If I'm not good at it, I have to get better at it so I can actually succeed at doing those things. So we're supposed to train up children. We're supposed to, you know, obviously train our wives. I trained my wife how to cook. But do you think I can cook better than her? No. Not even close. You know? But I was like, this is what I like. So she just learned to start working on the things that I liked. So that's how you do things. That's how you get better is you work on your weaknesses but you also work on your strengths. So to lead your home, to lead your wife, to lead your children, to be a leader in church and to be a leader at work, you have to work at it. And we need to be examples. We need to be, you know, I believe in servant leadership. That's what the Bible teaches. Was Moses just like sitting there with, you know, palm branches being waved in his face and like grapes being fed to him? No. He was sitting there from the morning till the evening judging the children of Israel. Someone had to say, look, dude, you need to chill. His father-in-law was like, hey, let me help you out here. Let me give you some advice. You need to get some people to help you in these things or you're going to wear away. So but Jesus, you know, I think about the time, I'm not going to go to the scriptures, but you know, when he washed the disciples feet. So what did he say though? He said, for I've given you an example that you should do as I have done to you. So if you want to be a great leader, start by being a servant leader. Hey, if your kids never have seen you mow the lawn and you're like, hey, go mow the lawn, like how is that showing them an example? You have to be able to teach them how to mow the lawn because there is techniques and stuff about it, right? You can't just say, just start it up and go do it. No, you got to teach them how to do it. And that goes with anything. There's a guy named John Maxwell. He wrote a book and I'm not promoting that he's like some great Baptist preacher or something, but he's like a motivational speaker, but he's also like some kind of pastor, I guess. I don't know a lot about him, so don't get on my case about it. I just like the quotes, okay? So he said, you'll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine. If you want to get better, why don't you get up an hour earlier? I can't, I don't have time to read the Bible. Get up an hour earlier and read your Bible. I don't have time to meditate day and night. Well, stay up an hour later. Get up an hour earlier, stay up an hour later. Hey, I don't have time to learn Spanish. I don't have time to do this. I don't have time to get better at this. Yeah, you do. You're just not making the time to do it. You'll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine. Change something that you want to get better, change something in your daily routine. So what are you doing to better yourself, man? What are you doing? Are you learning more or are you just going through the flow of life? Are you working on being a better dad? Are you working on being a better husband? Hey, you're never going to get better unless you work on it. So if you never purpose to get better, you're never going to get better. You're not just automatically going to become these things. Do you understand that? You're never going to get better at your job unless you learn the things and the parts you don't like to do. Why don't you just take like the worst thing that you hate doing and learn how to do it at your job? That's the, you know the parts where you feel like, oh, I don't really like, I hate doing that part. But you know what? You're never going to be a well-rounded good employee unless you learn how to do the things. If you want to know everything, you got to know the stuff that you don't like too, which I hate doing stuff like that, but it's something that's necessary. Like on the paint striping truck, I hate pulling the hoses off and putting it, I hate that because you get paint all over you. But you know, if you don't know what buttons and stuff you're supposed to push and what valves you're supposed to open, you can do a lot of damage. So you got to get better at doing those things or you got to just, you got to put yourself out of your comfort zone. And that's hard to do, but that's what's necessary. So if you never try to be better, you're never going to get better. If you never try to be a better husband, you're never going to be a better husband. If you never try to be a better dad, you're never going to be a better dad. If you never try to be a better leader, you're never going to become a better leader. So are you, if, you know, when you're working at a job, you usually get like evaluations, right? Yeah, who's gotten an evaluation at work? Or they like say, you suck at this, you're good at that, you know, whatever. We got them in report cards when we were kids, right? So if Christ came down and he gave you a report card on how you're doing, I'm just saying, this is for everybody. How are you doing as a Christian? How are you doing as a husband? Are you loving your wife? Would you say that you're doing your job? Do you love your wife like Christ loved the church? Can you say that? Are you raising your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? Are you disciplining them correctly? Are you doing a good job at that? Or do you have room for improvement? See, most evaluations will give you needs improvement or, you know, A, but they won't put the plus, right? And a good employer, when they give an evaluation, they're always going to leave room for improvement because if you think you've arrived, then you haven't. There's always something you can get better at in this Christian life, and I'm not trying to beat anybody up. I'm just saying, if you can get better, then get better. And I think everybody would probably raise their hand and say, I can be better at this. I could be a better husband. I could be a better dad. I could be a better leader in my home. I think everybody could say that. And like even with the kids, hey, I could be a better kid. I could be more well behaved. I could listen to my dad when he tells me to do something, not be a pain in the neck. I could be a better wife and support him and build him up and try to make him a better husband instead of trying to tear him down all the time. You know, we can get better, but, you know, we have to put effort into it. And that's the difference between people that fail and people that succeed. All right, let's pray. Lord, we thank you so much for all the dads in this room, Lord. I just pray that when the days are done, Lord, that we could all look back on our lives and say, you know what? I did the best I could to be the best husband I could be. I did the best that I could at being a great dad and a great leader. Lord, I pray that people would look at our church and look at the men in our church and the families in our church and say, they're doing something right there. They're doing something right. And, Lord, that's going to be with your help and your power and your spirit, but, Lord, it also takes the effort of each individual to try their best to get better in all aspects of their lives, Lord. I pray that you'd help us, have us develop a drive in us to get better and not to just be idle and stand by and just think that we're going to get better, when in reality it takes effort. And, Lord, I pray that you'd help us and just drive this message home in our hearts. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen.