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So Proverbs chapter 17, and like I said earlier, it's also on the front of our bulletin, we're going to look at verse number 6 specifically today. So Proverbs chapter 17 and verse 6 which reads, Children's children are the crown of old men and the glory of children are their fathers. And the title of my sermon today is Staying on that Dad Pedestal, Staying on that Dad Pedestal. And I'd like to also go to the Lord in the word of prayer as well. Father, thank you for your word, thank you for some of the great truths in the Bible including this truth here that I want to preach today, please fill me with your spirit, help me to preach boldly, clearly, loudly, help those in the room here to be edified in the many different points that I want to get across today, but especially the dads here today to want to grow as a father, to also want to be the father that you want them to be and I just pray that you help me to preach all these things in your holy name, Amen. I had an amazing class when I first went to school, so I first kind of joined a school at I think about four years old, three or four years old. My classmates' fathers were a collection of the toughest, bravest, strongest, fastest, richest, cleverest men in the whole wide world it seemed, yeah, and that's a really, I mean, wow, if I can remember some of those conversations about their dads, it was pretty impressive stuff. And it was a strange occurrence because as I got older and the classes got bigger and the schools got bigger, the super dads seemed to drastically decrease, which is a bit of a strange thing, it didn't really fit. Now the same dad seemed to transform from this sort of permanent Superman to a permanent Clark Kent and they just suddenly out of, well, seemed to be out of nowhere over the years, they just became no longer this great guy in the eyes of their sons, especially I went to a boy's school, a secretary school as well, but also their daughters as well. By the time that that kid had reached sort of teens, especially late teens, the dad had often become really more of an arch villain than the Superman in their eyes, and it's a sad occurrence, it's a sad truth that you see around the world. Well what had happened, what had happened to these dads, truthfully, physically, probably very little in what was around a dozen years or something like that, the change was to his pedestal, the change was to the pedestal that he was on and that pedestal had either got shortened, it had got attacked, it had got smashed, it had got unscrewed, it had just got dismantled any which way possible by a variety of people, because we do live in a world where the dad pedestal is getting lowered, isn't it? Yeah. Lowered, destroyed, crashed, crushed, you name it, and it seems to be by almost everyone around, doesn't it? It's not that just one guy comes in and destroys the pedestal, it seems that everyone is flocking around that pedestal to destroy it, they're all surrounding it trying any which way they can to get rid of that pedestal, to get that dad off that pedestal, well you've literally got teams of workmen theorising about how to get dad off his pedestal, how to get rid of that pedestal, how to destroy that pedestal, the mockery of the stupid father figure in popular cartoons we've seen for many years, The Simpsons, you know with the moronic Homer Simpson family guy with whatever that idiot's name is, isn't it? And yeah, well Flanders, especially for the Christian dad, you've got kids books like Peppa Pig where dad's just a moron, yeah dad's just an idiot, dad seems to be the butt of everyone's jokes, it seems in the world, doesn't it? And how often is just a normal run-of-the-mill dad lifted up and kept on his pedestal, even put on the pedestal in the first place. As well we see the mockery of male masculinity, don't we, yeah, absolute mockery, like male masculinity is something to be ashamed of, to be embarrassed of, while at the same time promoting female masculinity, yeah, while at the same time trying to promote female masculinity, like that's a good thing but male masculinity is a bad thing, and we see that don't we, you're being paranoid brother Ian, no I'm just being true, yeah, that's what we see out there, that's what I see out there. You see the red carpet almost rolled out if a wife wants to leave her husband, yeah, everything set up for her, encouraged any which way she can, that's if she's even married nowadays, we see the red carpet rolled out for that, adverts up, I've been seeing recently to tell you what the latest form, latest thing is actually abuse now, have you seen these around now, if he controls your finances, apparently that's abuse, if your husband is the guy that earns the money, apparently that's abuse now, yeah, and now you're being told what is abuse, and look, any which way, any which way they can, they're attacking that dad pedestal aren't they, you've then got, and look, when I say they, and if you're sitting there thinking what do you mean they brother Ian, it's not some big conspiracy, it's the devil's world, yeah, it's the devil's world, and he is the God small g of this world, so whether or not you want to believe that there are people meeting in the shadows or not, well the devil's meeting in the shadows, yeah, and the bible's pretty clear about that, that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places, and look, one of the things that those spiritual wickedness in high places powers attack is the dad pedestal, now you've then also got through that, you've got the governments undermining dad through the schools, yeah, constantly, through different government departments, you've got the NHS, you've got just medicine, I don't know if any of you dads here were there when your children were born, in general you were just a complete pain, weren't you, just even being there, just an irritation, a sort of, excuse me, oh you can sit there, you can come in for an hour to visit them, it's that sort of attitude isn't it, you're just a hindrance aren't you, and then if that wasn't enough, you've then got the family members, the family members and the friends again trying to knock dad off his pedestal, yeah, sometimes it's blatant isn't it, absolutely blatant, sometimes in front of you, and then sadly you even have the wives doing it, you even have the wives doing it, and not even just the ex-wives, unfortunately in many families you see around this country, you see around this world, you'll see wives trying to destroy that pedestal, for whatever reasons that they do it, maybe it's just because they've been as brainwashed as everyone else in this world, but this is what goes on around the world, and look, that makes it hard doesn't it, that makes it hard for dad to stay on his pedestal, keep a finger there and turn to Exodus chapter 20, if you're still up on that pedestal dads, it's wobbling, it's slippery up there, it's got a demolition team queuing up to finish it off, yeah, they're there with their hammers, their crowbars, they're just all in the line, you know, good impact drivers, all sorts of things like that, especially that little one, that is an impressive impact driver, but there's all sorts out there and they're just waiting to try and take you down, well, but isn't it a good thing, yeah, you're only human after all, you know, you don't want to be on a pedestal do you, well, isn't it best to just be treated equal dads, yeah, well no, no, the fifth of the ten commandments in Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12 says honour thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, see that, honour thy father and thy mother, that means give them respect, glory, esteem, why, so that they feel good about themselves, is that why, so that they get puffed up, no, so that your days may be long upon the land, it's for the child's own good, it's for them to get more years in what is a very short life, isn't it, and the older you get the shorter it feels, well, that means, if you think about it that way, that the TVs, you know, the shows, the movies, the books, the government agencies, the schools, the bitter wives even are shortening your days, kids, shortening your days, anyone really who's a son and daughter here, which is everyone, yeah, they're shortening your days, now how does that work, have you ever wondered that, is there like a year knocked off every time that you say something rude about your parents, is that how it works, well, turn to Proverbs chapter 4, I don't know how that part works, but what I do know is that if saved children followed this commandment and their parents taught the other commandments, then they taught their children to follow this and the other commandments and so on, you would have generations of saved families avoiding many of the pitfalls of life that shorten days, I know that if you look at it from that angle, because when that commandment was given, that was to what should have been God's nation who should have continued to follow God's laws and if they had honoured their father and mother who were giving them those laws, then they probably would have not died all the many early deaths and ways that people die early, well, Proverbs 4 and verse 1 says, hear ye children, the instruction of a father and a tend to know understanding, for I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law, for I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother, he taught me also and said unto me, let thine heart retain my words, keep my commandments and live, so honouring a godly father, hearing his instructions, doctrine, his law, keeping his commandments will add years to your life, that will add years to your life, that will stop you dying early for many reasons that you could probably work out, well, go back to Proverbs 17, 6, it's for a child's own good, yeah, that means you've got to protect that pedestal, mums, dads, kids even, family, friends, if you're sitting here going, well, I'm not a father, well, I'm not, you know, whatever situation in my life, you've got to protect that pedestal of those that you care about, those you love and I hope that includes everyone in this church as well, we need to protect that pedestal, we need to keep that father being honoured, yeah, father and mother, but today we're focusing on fathers, we'll focus on mothers another day, Proverbs 17, 6 says, children's children are the crown of old men and the glory of children are their fathers, now there's another way that this verse can be looked at, not only do children often see their fathers with rose-tinted glasses, yeah, and that's a truth there we see around the world, especially from a young age, but children are also known by their fathers, aren't they, as well, whilst young they go by the name of their father, the males will continue to go by the name of their fathers and they are known by who their father is, aren't they, yeah, there's something that's passed on there, people know you by your father and whichever way you look at it, it means that us dads don't want to be helping destroy our own pedestal, do we, yeah, we don't want to be helping destroy our own pedestal, kind of kneeling on it whilst trying to unscrew it or do whatever else, doesn't sound so fun and that fool's going to be hard as well, isn't it, because you're on it at the same time, you don't want to come crashing down, we have to stay up there for our kids' own good and we also have to stay up there for our own good as well, look at the beginning of this verse, Proverbs 17, 6 says, children's children are the crown of old men, grandkids are the crown of old men, basically, like a trophy in a way, yeah, I remember when I first moved into my current house and I think the kids called me and said, the guy out over the fence wants to talk to you, so I went out and there's this big old fella, old Kent and went out and within about five seconds of introducing myself and saying hi to him, he was telling me all about his grandkids, but he was telling me all about what school they go to, he was telling me all about how clever they are, how they go to a grammar school and how good his grandson is at football and everything else and it was pretty shameless boasting, yeah, there was no real reason for it other than just full on just boasting, boasting about it and there's a bit of boasting about his kids but especially about his grandkids and people do that, don't they, people boast, they're proud of their grandchildren, they're a crown of old men, but for us here, I hope for everyone here that your kids job, your grandkids school, football skills aren't going to be what you tell the neighbour about, yeah, I hope not, well hopefully you won't be boasting at all to the neighbour but knowing that your grandkids are saved, yeah, wouldn't that be an amazing thing, wouldn't it, yeah, knowing that your grandkids are saved, that they're serving the Lord, knowing that they're not only saved but they're serving the Lord, that they're doing something for God, yeah, that they've been raised to want to serve the Lord, that they have proper morals, yeah, that they're morally upright, that they're not only righteous in the eyes of God through the Lord Jesus Christ but they also try and live righteously as well, that would be good, wouldn't it, that sort of thing that we should want for our grandkids surely, yeah, and then there could be a crown of us but the opposite, the opposite of that, raising some rebellious little brat, some foolish kid and a knock on effect to their children is definitely not a crown, is it, okay, that's not a crown, that's why in the same chapter here where we are in Proverbs 17 verse 21 says, he that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow and the father of a fool hath no joy. If you raise a fool, it's sorrow, it's joy, sorry, it's no joy, is it, it's sorrow, that means it's sadness and if your child doesn't respect you, doesn't honour you, well, then they're a fool, aren't they, yeah, they're a fool because they're not, oh, well, they're finding every other way, they just don't respect me, like look, they're going to fail in many, many areas, if they don't honour and respect their father, we're talking about today, then they are going to be a fool. Proverbs 17 25 says, a foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her that bear him, hear that, not just a grief to his father but bitterness to her that bear him, that's to their mother. Now, mums, I hope you're listening to that, it's not just about the dads, it's not just about the dads, if you don't want a foolish son, you want to make sure that their dad is still on that pedestal, yeah, if you don't want a foolish son, you want to make sure that you keep their dad on the pedestal as well because it's not just about the effect on the dad. Go forward to chapter 23 because this is a big theme in the book of Proverbs and for sake of time I've only covered some of the verses which give this same truth, that yes, children are a great blessing, yeah, no one doubts that, children are a blessing but if you mess it up they can also be a great curse, okay, they're a great blessing but if you mess up then they are a great curse, that's why raising your kids has to take, it has to be one of the top priorities in your life, doesn't it? Well, turn to Proverbs 23, sorry, you've turned to Proverbs 23 haven't you, look at verse 22 where it reads, hearken unto thy father that begat thee and despise not thy mother when she is old, buy the truth and sell it, also wisdom and instruction and understanding, the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him, thy father and thy mother shall be glad, she that bear thee shall rejoice. So if you mums and dads out there want righteous, wise children then you'd better make sure that they honour you both, yeah, you better make sure they honour both of you, you're not there to point score, you're not there to compete with dad for who gets honoured more and whether it's fair or not and look, I'll include that if sadly you're in separated, divorced or anything else situation, it's the same thing, it's the same thing, it's like oh well now gloves are off, it's time to completely discredit dad or it's time to completely discredit mum, no they need to honour both of you, they need to respect both of you. Now obviously when we see that commandment in the book of Exodus that is talking to God's nation there but and as we go forward and we see that basically repeated in the New Testament, it's talking about basically obey your parents in the Lord, okay so it's in the context of doing things God's way as well so obviously if your parents, if your father, your unsaved dad is telling you not to go to church, you should still go to church, yeah, if your unsaved parents or unsaved parent is telling you to do things and that continues, that can be the same as we get older and older and older that are against God, then you follow what God says, yeah, obey the higher power but here it says that thy mother shall be glad, she that barely shall rejoice when they hearken unto the father that begat thee and despise not the mother when she is old. Now obviously today we're talking about the much maligned father, the irritation to the world, the butt of the jokes, the obstacle in the labour ward, yeah and wives you better make sure that you honour them, you better make sure that you put them up there on that pedestal, you keep them on that pedestal but sons and daughters here as well, yeah, sons and daughters here and that's everyone here, I don't care how influenced you are, yeah, it doesn't matter, you can't, oh listen to the beginning of this sermon and go well no, it's just, yeah, that's the way, it's just brainwashed, yeah, can't help it, no, there's still no excuse, okay, there's still no excuse to disrespect your parents, okay, there is no excuse, God doesn't look at it lightly, he doesn't look down and go oh well, you know, well they've been raised in the world a little bit so it's okay, well Proverbs, turn to Proverbs 30, well I read Proverbs chapter 20 and verse 20, Proverbs 20, 20 reads, who so curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness, who so curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness, does he mean you're going to drop dead, God could do that, couldn't he but perhaps he's saying that a serious sin like that is going to blind you, yeah, it's going to blind you, it's going to put you in a dark place, maybe that sin is going to hide his face from you so that he will not hear, either way he doesn't want you to curse your mother or your father, yeah, there's a story I think back in Deuteronomy where a son is taken out and stoned outside the camp and one of the things he did, yeah, they say he's a glutton and a wind-breather and that goes hand in hand with him basically cursing his father and his mother, like that is a big deal, yeah, if you kids here, any kids here and also let's include the adults here as well, you curse your mother or your father, you are a disgrace, an absolute disgrace, yeah and God makes that really clear and I'm seeing more and more and I'm not talking about in this church here but I'm seeing more and more out in the world brats like this everywhere, I see kids hitting their parents, talking down to their parents, calling them disgusting names, we have a kid where I take Jack where he does a bit of training who literally just calls his dad all sorts, punches him and now this, I'll be honest, the dad is a moron as well, okay, but it's still no excuse, it's still no excuse is it, I'm looking at these kids thinking you wicked little brat and then the dad instead is going up and trying to like tell the coach how they shouldn't tell off his kid, you know, he's just, we're on it but anyway, so Proverbs 30 to you Turner and verse 11 says this, there is a generation that curseth their father and does not bless their mother, there is a generation that are pure in their own eyes and yet is not washed from their filthiness, how does a child hold their arrogant head up while cursing their father and mother, how do they do that, how do you hold your arrogant head up in the air and your nose in the air while you're cursing your father and mother, it's an absolute disgrace isn't it and it's a complete irony because you're completely out of God's will, there is a generation, oh how lofty are their eyes and their eyelids are lifted up, there is a generation whose teeth are as swords and their jaw teeth as knives to devour the poor from off the earth and the needy from among men and that's a generation that curses their father and does not bless their mother and you don't want to be that generation kids here, okay, you might be seeing it around you but I hope that none of you here are sitting here thinking yeah well, yeah but you don't know you know, my mum said this, my dad said that, now that is wicked, yeah it doesn't matter, look unless they're literally telling you to do something sinful and even then you don't curse them, all you do is you try and politely respectfully show them what the word of God says but look, jump forward to verse 17 there, it says the eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagle shall eat it, what do you think God thinks about it, he thinks yeah no not so bad, no he said that the eye that mocks his father and despises to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young eagles shall eat it, that means that bad things are going to happen to you basically yeah, that means bad things are going to happen to you if you're cursing your parents and right now we're talking about fathers because the fathers seem to be getting a lot of cursing and a lot of disrespect right now everywhere I see it and God hates that, God absolutely hates it, now the dads have to stay on that dad pedestal okay, the dads have to stay on that dad pedestal and that means all of us here have to help them with that, well it's not just for their sakes as we see it's for the kids sakes as well yeah okay, kids don't respect their parents well they're not going to respect much, they're going to end up being just like all the other brats we see getting raised around here so how do we do that, how do we do that dad, so we keep telling them stories of how great we are yeah, I don't think so because basically just jacking up that pedestal with a jack that can't take the way, I remember when my car jack was used by someone here who had a much heavier car and we thought we'd give it a try anyway, they had a problem, they had a flat and that car jack wasn't meant for that weight and that car jack just folded into, it's quite impressive to see actually as well, well that's what happens when you try and just jack yourself up with dishonesty, with you know, with made up stories or anything else about yourself, try and pick yourself up into something you're not, you're basically just putting a jack that's not going to, it's going to fold under that weight, under that big head isn't it, so first off how do we do it then, everyone here has to protect that pedestal yeah, everyone in this church has to protect that dad pedestal, that means start showing the dad some respect yeah, okay everyone here should show dad's respect, kids here especially we've talked about, you need to be showing your dad's respect okay, every child here needs to be showing your dad's respect, that means wives yeah, you need to be showing your husband's respect, if you're not showing your husband's and look sadly if the case is that it's an ex-husband as well respect, how do you expect the kids to do the same, what do you expect, you're going to go well yeah don't worry about what I do but you need to do it, they're just going to copy what you do okay, so wives you need to show the dad's respect, otherwise you could think well yeah but they need to know that dad's this or they need to know that dad's that, look they're going to work out what dad is and dad isn't yeah, they don't need you telling them okay, because otherwise what you're going to end up with, you're going to end up with a foolish son, a foolish daughter okay, but also family friends yeah, you need to protect that pedestal, you need to keep that dad on that pedestal and again I'm not saying by lifting him up with lies or anything else, you need to encourage respect of the fathers that you know, you need to encourage your kids to respect their dad, look it doesn't matter if you don't even like him, if you're maybe a mother here and you end up with a kid as you get older, a father here, you end up with someone who's married to someone that you start to dislike, still don't respect that father to their kids yeah, don't respect that father to their wives either, yeah you have to respect him, you have to keep on that pedestal because otherwise it's going to affect the kids okay, it's going to affect the kids ultimately okay, so what else we have to do, well we have to keep that demolition team away as well don't we, yeah that cure of people just waiting to destroy that pedestal you got to keep them away, how do you do that, that means those disrespectful friends and family you need to point it out to them, look you can do it politely but you need to show them, you need to explain to them that the risk factors, what will happen if they carry on coming round and trying to knock dad and trying the old stupid jokes, taking the mickey out of dad, he's always the butt of the jokes, it's always you know, I bet dad does this or dad or anything else like that, you need to just tell them look, I want my kids to respect their father yeah, I'd prefer it if you didn't do that, if you carry on having especially those unsafe family and friends that just want to come around and just try and destroy your family set up, don't have them round, yeah, if they can't do it because it's that important, it is that important, it's not oh well yeah but I don't want to be rude, look that's your kids future, that's your kids future, if your kids are just having family members coming around just little whispering, sometimes it's quite subtle isn't it, sometimes it's not, sometimes it's just blatant, don't have them round, those family and friends you need to keep that demolition team away, the TV, the TV look, is there anything good on the TV, no, I don't see anything good on the TV, why look, oh but you know I love putting little Johnny in front of the TV, they just love that, do you know what that cartoon is actually saying, have you watched every episode that you're putting your kids in front of, is anyone here, because if you are you've got too much time on your hands, if you're sitting there watching kids cartoons you've got too much time on your hands, you're sitting there watching everything first then you've got too much time so don't shove them in front of something that you don't know what they're being taught because a lot of it is subtle, a lot of it they won't see, a lot of it they will just see and still watch it because it makes them feel good because those flashing lights make them feel good don't they, because there's something about the TV, it appeals to the flesh and all the many other ways and all those shows but there's so much that's being just zapped straight in, oh someone's a bit tinfoil hat brother Ian, look it's true, the conditioning and brainwash from the TV is like nothing else, it's like nothing else, okay if you're just shoving your kids in front of the TV and going well it must be alright, it's before the watershed, have you seen the stuff that's on before, oh well they don't swear, I don't care about the swearing, honestly yeah, if my kids hear a bit of swearing that is the least of my worries, that is the least of my worries, it's the rest of it, it's the conditioning, it's the brainwash, it's just the constant attack on the dad, attack on the family, it's the constant trying to promote all these bizarre sexualities or whatever they even call, I don't know what they even call them now, identities and just all of it, just constant, constant, constant and look we don't want our kids looking at that rubbish do we, we need to keep that demolition team away and right now we're talking about keeping your dad on their pedestal and that TV will undermine them, the school will undermine them, the child minders will undermine them, everyone is looking to undermine dad, yeah you've got to keep those people away, you've got to keep all of that away from your kids but dad's here, you have to own it too, okay dad's here, you have to be the dads that God wanted you to be because look that pedestal is slippery enough, it's wobbly enough, it's being attacked from all angles, you need to make sure that you're standing there firm, you're standing there strong, you're standing there balanced, how do you do that? Well let's turn to 1 Thessalonians chapter 2, now this isn't necessarily the chapter that people turn to for parenting advice and Paul's reminding the Thessalonians here how he and Silas behaved when they were out soul winning and he uses basically parenting analogies, why does he use parenting analogies? Because they were begetting them, they were basically begetting children, spiritual children with the Gospel, yeah and when you get someone saved that's what you're doing, they're getting reborn and look if you've saved someone you do have I believe some responsibility to that person, okay and you should try and look they're not always, sometimes they're going to be a wayward kid and they don't want you anywhere near them but you should at least try to disciple them, you should try to help them, you should try to guide them, you should try to strengthen them. Well 1 Thessalonians 2 here, like I said he's talking about how they behaved when they were soul winning, he says from verse 7, but we were gentle among you even as a nurse cherishes her children, so being affectionately desirous of you we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the Gospel of God only, but also our own souls because you were dear unto us. That's how we should feel towards our physical children too, shouldn't we? Yeah willing to impart our own souls, we should be putting them you know in a place of importance because sadly again that's something that we don't see as much of anymore either do we? Now verse 9 says, for ye remember brethren our labour and travail, for labouring night and day because we would not be chargeable unto any of you we preach unto you the Gospel of God. Sometimes parenting is labouring night and day too isn't it? Verse 10 ye are witnesses and God also how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe. And there's a great start there isn't there for dads, that's a great verse isn't it? Behaving holily, justly and unblameably. Okay look you're not going to be sinless, but look that pedestal is wobbly anyway, do you want to just be up there just waiting to get, to have those fiery darts just knock you straight down because you don't have on your shield of faith, your breastplate of righteousness. That's a big part of it dads yeah, that's a big part of it. You have some responsibility there if you're just full of you know all sorts of hypocrisy and wickedness and sin and you're disrespecting those authorities in your life, you're just acting the fool and the rest of it, how do you expect your kids to respect you? Yeah look dads need to behave holily, justly, unblameably but that stuff I think goes without saying. Proverbs 20 verse 7 you'd have to turn there says a just man walketh in his integrity, his children are blessed after him. Okay so we should be aspiring and our goals should be just and part of that is for our children to be blessed yeah. Okay if you care about your kids make sure that you're living right but I want to focus on three points in the next verse here that maybe we don't focus on so much as dads here. Verse 11 says as you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you as a father doth his children that you would walk worthy of God who has called you unto his kingdom and glory. So verse 11 gives three actions there that he's saying basically should be a given for fathers. Yeah he didn't say as a father should do, he didn't say as some dads, he just said as a father doth his children. What are those three actions? Exhorting which is encouraging, comforting and charging and that's not you know charging towards them with the cane that's commanding them yeah. Okay all three of these are needed aren't they? Yeah all three of these are needed because sometimes people can just get a bit kind of maybe on the charge and the commanding bit and forget about the encouraging and the comforting, the exhorting and the comforting. Others maybe are just they're good at the the exhorting part but they're not so good at the commanding bit. Some are maybe good at comforting you know when times are bad that's when they step up but the rest of the time they may be nowhere to be seen you know there's a combination there and all three there he says and you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged everyone one of you as a father doth his children. And as you know the title of my sermon is staying on that dad pedestal and point number one is exhort your kids, exhort your kids. Look this isn't an exhaustive list here but I think this is a list that maybe we need reminding of as well okay. So number one exhort your list that means encourage your kids because everyone needs encouragement in life don't they? Yeah and kids are no different are they? Kids are no different. Turn to Colossians chapter 3 and while you turn I'm going to read Proverbs 22 15 which says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Yes they need the rod of correction we know that verse very well we use that verse to explain to people why they need physical punishment but they also need encouragement because it must be pretty discouraging being so foolish. Yeah it's the truth foolishness is bound in the heart of a child that could be discouraging can't it? If all they're ever getting is punishment for their foolishness I could imagine sometimes they might start to get a bit discouraged being a kid in this world being a kid that does need chastisement yeah and they do need chastisement but that means maybe focus on their positives yeah focus on kids positives as well and they all have positives yeah we don't want to puff them up and make them arrogant children but sometimes we can go too far the other way can't we? Focus on the kids positives encourage them when they're going through their own trials and tribulations and believe it or not we might not consider those trials and tribulations anything compared with ours but kids do go through some trials and tribulations and we can be quick to mock can't we a trial or tribulation that a child goes through and maybe be slow to encourage them when they're in it because we all need the encouragement don't we? You turn to Colossians 3 verse 21 says fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged so if it's all chastisement and no reward you're probably going to provoke them to anger if it's all lectures and no positives you'll probably provoke them to anger won't you? And the parallel passage you don't have to turn there but in Ephesians 6 4 says and you fathers provoked not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord so that means that there's both nurture which is nourishing educating and admonition which is instruction and reproof but the focus is it being of the Lord isn't it yeah it's it's the nurture and admonition of the Lord so we want to encourage them in the things of God as well and we need to encourage them in the things of God not just command and force and that's it they need to be encouraged shown the benefits of being a man of God dads yeah show that positive of being if you're coming home and constantly moaning about how hard it is being the single income dad then I don't think you're going to be exhorting them in the things of God if you're constantly complaining about how hard it is to be soul winning and to be going to church and all that got to do a Wednesday evening as well now you know as a Sunday morning evening what are you really encouraging your kids you exhorting them in the things of God they're going to grow up to want to do the same no we want to make sure we encourage them and that's how we lead by example but also encourage them when they go through their trials and tribulations when they find it hard encourage them when they're finding it difficult to stay in the things of God themselves think look obviously we have parenting to do obviously sometimes yeah they need a firm hand don't know but I bet if your brother or sister here came up to you and said ah you know brother whoever I'm just being funny at hard this week to read my Bible would you just start giving them an earful straight away you just start rebuking them you're probably trying and give them the encouragement kind of you know that you know when you're not in your Bible it's going to quickly go downhill you know that when you're not in the Word of God you're gonna you know you're gonna quickly fall away you're gonna have trouble come on you know you know how much better it is when you're in the Word of God every day you give them that in code but do we always do that with our kids often right punishment time out there you little brat get back in your Bible but sometimes they need some encouragement don't they need some exhorting they need they need that don't they and look I think that that's something that we we could do with just having on our mind stance as well a lot of the time sometimes we can be that firmer hand and maybe not always that softer hand okay so saying on that dad pedestal number one was exhort your kids number two is comfort your kids comfort your kids yes first cecilonia's 211 said as a father does his children yeah hear that all us manly we like to think of ourselves as manly men there yeah he said as a father does his children sometimes a dad needs to be comforting to yeah doesn't he because our kids need comfort any comfort and there's nothing queer about comforting your kids yeah yeah there's nothing effeminate about comforting your kids you know the the kind of classic dad sort of kids just smashed his head up and get up your fairy what's wrong with you I'll give you something to cry about how dare you well but is that is that God like is that how God behaves because is this is anyone here thinking there's something queer about God is there something queer about God there definitely isn't something queer about God is there yeah God the epitome of manliness God the Holy Spirit whose name is the comforter yeah God's name is the comforter God comforts God comforts his children turn a second Corinthians one because without receiving comfort then they're less likely to show comfort and then we're raising problem children and we're going to raise problem parents and as well second Corinthians chapter one of verse three second Corinthians one three says blessed be God second Corinthians chapter one and verse three blessed be God even the father of our Lord Jesus Christ the father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God God comforts us in all our tribulation and we're then able to come for others in the same way kids go through tribulation don't they yeah and in their own worlds their tribulation can feel like big tribulation can't it and they need comfort they need to see that we care and we should care shouldn't we we should care about our kids Psalm 103 in verse 13 you have to turn there says like as a father pittieth his children so the Lord pittieth them that fear him if we don't even pity our children and we've got issues haven't we yeah the Lord pitties his children he talks about it as a given like as a father pittieth his children we should pity our children that should be all our children as well shouldn't it because sometimes there could be that kid that maybe just complains and moans a little bit more than the others sometimes there's that kid that doesn't seem to be as tough as other kids but we should pity all of them shouldn't we yeah we should pity our children plural and the Lord pitties them that fear him his children yeah and look there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing soft about that you're not going to be raising you're not gonna be raising these soft as whatever you want to call it kids because you're giving them comfort and because you're pitying yeah you don't have to wrap them in cotton wool either obviously yeah yeah kids need to need to learn to be tough as well but if we're never giving them comfort we're just gonna raise the same aren't we again we're gonna raise problem children it can't then then then pity and comfort others so we need to make sure we do that dads we need to make sure that we don't just go too hard line and not enough love staying on that dad pedestal number one exhort your kids number two comfort your kids and number three charge your kids so charge your kids and again I'm not saying drop your head now and charge charge sometimes you need to drop your head in charge yeah but most of the time I don't think you need to it means instruct doesn't it it means to command to instruct kids need instruction they need rules yeah they need rules turn to Proverbs chapter 6 well I read Proverbs 1 8 which says my son hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother Proverbs 22 6 says train up a child and away should go and when he is old he will not depart from it so this child-led crap out there is just that okay it's a load of old nonsense in fact it's a load of new nonsense really this the kid knows best let the kid the kid you know child-led everything is propaganda of the devil okay it is ridiculous it's completely the opposite to the Word of God the Word of God says train the child up in a way you should go he's not automatically born knowing the way he should go he's not automatically but all it's cut it's everything else which is just disrupting him otherwise he would be fine no you left a baby alone then he would that baby would die very quickly okay you left a child alone that child will die very quickly okay kids need instruction they need commands they need commandments it's complete nonsense and do not let yourselves get poisoned by out there and again you'll have the family of friends coming around talking about the latest child-led thing because of some pseudoscience I heard by some child psychologists telling you basically not to train your kids not to punish your kids not it's nonsense okay it's nonsense it's not what the Word of God says Proverbs 6 and verse 20 Proverbs 6 20 says my son keep thy father's commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother bind them continually upon mine heart and tie them about thy neck when thou goest it shall lead thee when thou sleepest it shall keep thee and when thou wakest it shall talk with thee for the commandment is a lamp and the law is light and reproofs of instruction of the way of life to keep thee from the evil woman from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman right those commandments are for life aren't they yeah they're for life you train them when they're young so that they succeed when they're older that's how it works yeah we're training them up for adulthood and there's one sure way to train them to to to train them to obey the rules yeah to bind the commandments upon their hearts it's through loving chastisement okay loving chastisement there has to be punishment he said here that reproofs of instruction are the way of life in verse 23 that's life yeah in the way of life everywhere you go there there is punishment for not obeying rules and instructions and commandments okay everywhere you go in life you're training your kids for life yeah it might not be the punishment that we think there should be but there's punishment everywhere isn't there there's punishment your government will punish you your who you get punished nowadays if you just park in the wrong you get punished if you dare to drive in the wrong place and forget to pay some extortionate money for do you get punished in every area of life there are repercussions for not following commandments for not following rules and look you have to do that from young with your kids you have to do that it's absolute madness it's folly to have tried to avoid doing that at home you think you're gonna somehow just sweet talk your kid to be well behaved you think somehow if you just withhold rewards from your kid or so that's not chastisement that's not punishment turn of Proverbs chapter 13 while I read Proverbs 19 18 Proverbs 19 18 says chasten thy son while there is hope and let not my soul spare for his crying okay it's not always pleasant is it it's not always pleasant but it needs doing early while there is hope because it's a loving thing to do okay it needs doing earlier look if you're all I just didn't do it early enough well you better start start quickly then yeah you better start quickly chasing our son while there is hope you don't want to get to a point where there's no more hope let not thy soul spare for his crying look it's not easy it's not pleasant yeah I it's if look the majority of the time you don't enjoy punishing your kids sometimes the old time when you do yeah okay let's be honest but look the majority of the time you don't enjoy punishing your kids you punish them because you know it's a good thing for them it's a loving thing to do to punish your kids that's why in Proverbs 13 where you've turned to it says in verse 24 Proverbs 13 24 he that spareth his rod hateth his son but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes that's early that's in time if you're not punishing your kids and the Bible says that you hate them yeah I mean hear that you you know non punishing world out there who you're just too loving I just love them too much I had a family member say these I just you know I just love them too much too I would find it too hard to smack their bottom what is wrong with you that's not love you love yourself yeah you love your appearance to the rest of your friends and and whoever's around you you love to be able to say that you love the image that that creates but you don't love your kids if you won't punish them you have to punish your children and the rod there is talking about the rod of correction okay that's talking about a physical chastisement there's a great great part of the body that was developed just for that yeah it's got some great padding on it it's also got some great nerve endings there as well and that part of the body was made for punishment it doesn't leave long-lasting damage and look just to make that clear in case someone wants to look at this and cause trouble with it no we're not talking about what the world calls beating okay we're talking about measured calm punishment which shows a child that their behavior is wrong and then they're more likely to do the behavior that's right which makes for a well-behaving a happy child yeah okay that's that's what the Bible tells us to do that's what God commands us to do parents out here if you're not the Bible says that you hate them okay if you if you can't just go look I'm gonna have to this is gonna be tough we might have a couple of wars at home we might have a couple of issues here the Bible says if you will not punish them you hate them he that loveth him chaseth him betimes you have to turn to promise 312 says for whom the Lord loveth he correcteth even as a father the son in whom he delighteth if you delight in your children punish them yeah correct them give them commandments give them rules when they invariably break the rules which they will because everyone unfortunately will break rules punish them even as a father the son in whom he delighteth and who are we copying here the Lord is anyone saying that God's not loving and look kids here if you're sitting here and maybe they're kids here thinking well I don't really get punished too much and look again that's down to your parents ultimately I'm just telling you what the Bible says here it's not my decision but if you are if you're sitting there and your parent comes away from this your parents come away from this and think yeah we need some more part you better you better take that punishment yeah you better take that punishment otherwise you are rebelling against God you're rebelling against God kids here okay you have to take that chastisement and look you ain't if you're if you're fighting struggling twisting turning saying whatever you can under your breath or something else to make it to make it known that that you didn't really take the punishment you managed to say something back you ain't taking the punishment and if you're not taking the punishment you're at odds you're at enmity with God then okay because you're basically saying no that that that that that person you've put in my life to for me to submit to you to be that authority in my life I'm not having it I'm not having it God tough yeah good luck to you you want to say that and you know what you might take a while to punish you it might be that God's chastisement takes a while but I would prefer a father's chastisement a physical father's chastisement to God's chastisement all you kids out there and it might be a little while you might think well it hasn't come yet I'm alright I'm on easy Street maybe he understands no you're gonna get it and it is just gonna be an inbuilt punishment in life where you're just gonna end up being a fool for your life yeah so yes if you're charging them if you're commanding them there has to be chastisement to otherwise you might as well not bother okay if you're gonna give commandments and then you're gonna let them break them and there's going to be no repercussions don't even bother with the commandments in the first place because you're basically allowing yourself to be disrespected you're you're knocking yourself off that pedestal dads yeah and mums but we're talking about dads here okay it's not just the dads and by the way it's not just the dad's job either mums out there okay you need to be punishing as well otherwise dad becomes just mr. punisher he becomes the punisher and then the punisher is not always that popular is he okay and we want to keep him on the pedestal for different angles as well because this could be our angles they try and knock him off yeah okay but dads you do need to punish you do need to chastise and a good tip that I would say is after you do that give him a cuddle yeah tell him you love him yeah because they need to understand it's for their own good and it is for their own good isn't it yeah okay so staying on that dad pedestal we had number one exhort your kids number two comfort your kids number three charge your kids now Paul said in first Thessalonians 2 and verses 11 to 12 as you know how we exhorted and comforted and charge every one of you as a father does his children that you would walk worthy of God who has called you unto his kingdom and glory more important than pleasing our kids and more important than not having foolish children wayward grandchildren all this shame and sorrow that goes with it is raising kids that will walk worthy of God isn't it that's what we want to be doing walking kids that would walk worthy of God who's called you and your future generations to his kingdom and glory because if we do things right then your your sons and sons and sons as a Bible call it your grandchildren your great grandchildren your great great grandchildren if you do things right and they do things right and they do things right it's going to be a load of saved whatever your surnames are up in up in heaven yeah and that's a great thing isn't it yeah Oh tribulations coming brother Ian too late do you know that for sure though do you know that for sure I don't know that for sure that what I do know is that God says that that we want to command our children after us we want them to be to walk worthy of God yeah and of course he's talking here to to a safe church he's talking to his spiritual children and look we want our kids to be both physical and our spiritual children as well we want our grandkids and great-grandkids to be the same right so dad's here dad's here I would say Turner Turner Genesis 18 actually to finish off here dad's here should want to look want God to look down sorry they should want God to look down and say this about them and one of the reasons that God chose Abraham look at Genesis chapter 18 of verse 19 is for this reason God said in Genesis 18 19 for I know him that he will command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he has spoken of him now there are some failures further down the line but he knew that Abraham would command his children and his household after him and you won't got to look down and say I know that brother whoever I know that brother whoever I know that brother whoever will command his children and his household after him that's what we should all want as dad shouldn't we yeah God's gone know that he will command his children's household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord yeah because our commandments ultimately should be in line with God and our command should be God's commandments really shouldn't they yeah and there's going to be obviously there's going to be things that apply for our particular household but our commandment should be all in the Lord and that means that they hopefully will be keeping the way of the Lord and there'll be some chastisement to get there there's going to be sometimes some battles to get there there's going to be harder times the different kids will have different things that they need dealing with at different times but what you want is at the end of that you want to have your kids when they become adults to be able to turn around and say yeah I'm keeping the way of the Lord I'm saved I want to serve God I want to keep his commandments and that's our goal isn't it yeah isn't every dad here that's your goal I hope it's your goal I hope every mum here that's your goal and if if it's your goals here parents to do that and kids as you grow up to be parents then you need to keep that on that pedestal don't you yeah you need to keep the dad on his pedestal and on that let's pray father thank you for your word thank you for all your you know you the many just practical bits of advice you give especially in the in the book of Proverbs and please help us to just keep these you know those Proverbs that I read today on our hearts especially Proverbs 17 6 there and just just keep that where it's such an attack right now it's you know the attack on dads the attack on the authority in the home the attack on a on a leading husband on a leading father is so big right now it's so such a such a problem in our world help us to to defend against those attacks help us to defend the dads against those attacks help all of those here to want to just keep that dad up there in a place of honor a place of respect and and we ask you to just help everyone here without help us all to support each other with that as well we pray that that you just bless all the dads here today help them to you know enjoy enjoy being a dad especially today just just knowing that they are respected that we do we do have honor for them that you you give them glory as well as what their kids should be giving them and the the as dads we we want to go out and lead the example this afternoon and go and preach the gospel to to those around around this this town and help us to get many people saved and help us to return for this evening's service as well in Jesus name we pray all of this amen