(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.) And turn to page 323, more about Jesus. On the first, more about Jesus would I know, more of his grace to others show, more of his saving fullness see, more of his love who died for me, more, more about Jesus, more, more about Jesus, more of his saving fullness see, more of his love who died for me, more about Jesus, let me learn, more of his holy will discern, spirit of God my teacher be, showing the things of Christ to me, more, more about Jesus, more, more about Jesus, more of his saving fullness see, more of his love who died for me, more about Jesus in his word, holy communion with my Lord, hearing his voice in every line, making each faithful saying mine, more, more about Jesus, more, more about Jesus, more of his saving fullness see, more of his love who died for me, more about Jesus on his throne, riches and glory all his own, more of his kingdom sure increase, more of his coming Prince of peace, more, more about Jesus, more, more about Jesus, more of his saving fullness see, more of his love who died for me. Amen. That's a great song. We come to church three times to thrive because we want to know more about Jesus. Let's bow our heads for a word of prayer. Lord God we just thank you Lord for another Sunday that you have given us Lord. Thank you for our pastor. Thank you for our church. Thank you for the soul winning saves that us for the salvation that we saw saved today Lord. We ask that you just help them want to come to church and get baptized. We ask that you bless the rest of this week Lord. We thank you. We love you and Jesus let me pray. Amen. All right if you would turn your hymnals to page 230 heavenly sunlight. That's page 230 heavenly sunlight. Walking in sunlight all of my journey over the mountain through the devel. Jesus has said I'll never forsake thee promise divine that never can fail. Heavenly sunlight heavenly sunlight flooding my soul with glory divine. Hallelujah I am rejoicing singing his praises Jesus is mine. Shadows around me shadows above me never conceal my Savior and God. He is the light in him is no darkness ever I'm walking close by his side. Heavenly sunlight heavenly sunlight flooding my soul with glory divine. Hallelujah I am rejoicing singing his praises Jesus is mine. In the bright sunlight ever rejoicing praising my way to mansions above. Singing his praises gladly I'm walking. Heavenly sunlight sunlight of love. Heavenly sunlight heavenly sunlight flooding my soul with glory divine. Hallelujah I am rejoicing singing his praises Jesus is mine. Thank you so much for coming to Steadfast Baptist Church. If you need a bulletin lift up your hand nice and high. If you didn't already get one this morning. On the front we have the Bible Mary passage as well as the birth picture there for the Tinsley's. Also we have the service and soul wanting times. We have the church stats. We have our list of expecting ladies. Also our prayer list. Please keep our church family in your prayers. Today we had our Sunday Sundays thanks to all who participated. Thanks to Alex for helping us with ice cream and that was great. I think all the kids really enjoyed that. Also we have our Heritage of the Lord conference October 6th through the 8th. We also have the fall swap on October 22nd where if you want to let donate something pick something up. We have our soul winning blitz October 29th. And we have the Texas chili cook off 31st November 5th. We have a music recital November 10th through the 12th. We have a Matamoros soul winning trip. If you'd like to participate please sign up for that. Also we have the November November 23rd a Thanksgiving dessert fellowship. We have our ladies Christmas party on December 2nd. The Tinsley's had the birth announcement for Naomi Elizabeth. She was born September 23rd at 6 18 a.m. weighing 10 pounds 7 ounces and measuring 23 and a half inches long. Congratulations to them. It's exciting. And we had man it was great to report we had 55 salvation so praise the Lord on that. And it's definitely fun to go to receptive areas of the country. And so I definitely encourage you if you ever get a chance go soul winning with us. That's a great trip to make it to every trips great. But obviously it's a lot. It's really fun when you get to go to an area that's really receptive. And so we'll keep that in mind. Also again if you want the details on the music recital it's gonna be from 2 to 4. There is gonna be a tryout on October 22nd and all instruments are welcome. If you are doing voice please make sure it is either a Christian song or a hymn. I think that's pretty much all I have is as far as announcements are concerned. Our third song is gonna be number 10 near the cross song number 10. All right that's song number 10 near the cross. Jesus keep me near the cross. There a precious fountain free to all the healing stream flows from Calvary's mountain and the cross and the cross be my glory ever till my rapture soul shall find rise beyond the river near the cross a trembling soul love and mercy found me there the bright morning star around me and the cross and the cross be my glory ever till my rapture soul shall find rise beyond the river near the cross o lamb of God it seems before me help me walk from day to day shadows or me and the cross and the cross be my glory ever till my rapture soul shall find rise beyond the river near the cross I'll watch and wait hoping trusting ever till I'll reach the golden strand just be the river and the cross and the cross be my glory ever till my rapture soul shall find rise beyond the river while the offering plates are passed around turning your Bibles to Genesis chapter 2 Genesis chapter 2 will read we're gonna read the whole chapter as is our custom Genesis chapter 2 you can follow along silently and starting in verse 1 where the Bible read thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them and on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made and God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made these are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens and every plant of the field before it was in the earth and every herb of the field before it grew for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth and there was not a man to till the ground and there went up a mist from the earth and watered the whole face of the ground and the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul and the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden and there he put the man whom he had formed and out of the ground made the Lord God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the site and good for food the tree of life also in the midst of the garden and the tree of knowledge of good and evil and a river went out of Eden to water the garden and from thence it was parted and became into four heads the name of the first is Pison that is which can pass at the whole land of Havilah where there is gold and the gold of that land is good there is Delian and the onyx stone and the name of the second river is Gaon the same as it that can pass at the whole land of Ethiopia and the name of the third river is Hedekul that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria and the fourth river is Euphrates and the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it and the Lord God commanded the man saying of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil thou shalt not eat of it for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die and the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone I will make him and help meet for him and out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the year and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them and whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof and Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the year and to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found and help meet for him and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man and Adam said this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh and they were both naked the man and his wife and were not ashamed let's bow our heads for a word of prayer father god we thank you so much lord for genesis chapter 2 and for this story here in scripture i just pray now that you fill pastor Shelley with the holy ghost lord and just enable him to preach his sermon for us to the best of his ability and also lord help us to pay close attention and apply this message to our lives so we can walk out more complete christians be with us as we go our separate ways after the service father and thank you so much for everything you've given us in Jesus name i pray amen so i want to look back at verse 18 where the bible read and the lord god said it is not good that the man should be alone i will make him and help me for him so in in the beginning of god's creation we have the six days of creation we have the seventh day of rest in chapter number two god is kind of giving us a a more detailed explanation of day six specifically so he's he's kind of relaying how he did things on day six he created man and he also created every single beast of the field now after Adam has basically observed all the different beasts of the field god looks at it and says he's alone meaning that dog is not man's best friend meaning that there is no such thing as a beast of a companion a companion and yet god believes this is bad god doesn't like the idea of the man being alone he doesn't want him to be alone so he says very specifically in verse 18 i will make him and help meet for him so we have to understand that the context here is that whatever the next creation is going to be is for the man and so that he's not alone specifically okay verse 19 and out of the ground the lord god formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them on Adam to see what he would call them and whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof and Adam gave name saw cattle into the fowl of the air and every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found and help meet for him so the animals don't work right verse number 20 verse 21 the lord god caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and he closed up the flesh instead thereof and the rib which the lord god had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man says in the Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of the man therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh and they were both naked and the man and his wife and were not ashamed so according to the bible god looked at man and decided he it wasn't good that he was alone yet every single animal animal was not suitable for him he named all the beasts but it's not really what god is designed for man so he ends up taking his rib and forming a woman and this woman according to the bible in verse number 24 is described as his wife it says in verse number 25 even the man and his wife so according to the bible what does the bible teach as to what the role of a woman is it was specifically a wife and the title of my sermon this evening is ways to be a great wife because if god has created wives if god has created woman and that is you know the majority role obviously there's exceptions but generally speaking women are designed to be a man's wife then why not be the best wife that you could possibly be and of course even adam realized that this is a pattern that is going to last forever because while he'd never had a physical mother or father in like a human form god was his father but he didn't really have a mother he said therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be on flesh so adam had a lot of intelligence obviously since he could realize all these different things even though they'd never even happened yet and adam realized that in the future there's going to be other men there's going to be other women there's going to be children born and when these children are born they're going to leave mom and dad so they're not going to laugh with mom and dad forever and what's going to happen a man is going to be married under a woman and the woman is going to be his wife and so we have the institution of marriage and we have a really specific purpose and a role for women and that is to be a wife and i believe that you know women should strive to be the greatest wife that they can possibly be so ways to be a great wife number one believe you were created to be a wife you know i i don't want women to think like oh i'm why am i a wife or why get married or why do these things well god created woman in the beginning to be a wife and you know i believe that is the calling on 99 some percent of women is to be a wife is to be the wife of some man and to not only be a wife but to be a great wife but i do believe it's important that women realize that women weren't just created randomly they were committed with a very specific purpose to be the help meet of their husband and as the bible you know what is it what does it help me meet means suitable appropriate well-fitted and help means to do good okay to assist to so you're you're doing what you're a suitable helper you're a suitable assistant you are his help in everything that he has to accomplish in his life and of course animals are not very suitable the woman is the suitable creation for man now i'm not going to go to a verse on every point that i have this evening i have about 22 points okay that was point one go to proverbs 31 all right don't get too nervous okay we already finished point one come on folks okay i don't know with all this laughter all right point number two and and this is obviously for someone that's married but you know your husband is first place in your life now i am putting the caveat obviously the lord is supposed to be number one we get that obviously always put god number one period but humanly speaking of your human relationships your husband should be number one and you know when you first get married that's easy because you don't have anybody i mean already it's just you guys right sometimes there might be a competition between parents or siblings or friends but that's usually not as big a deal but what can happen in a marriage is is women start putting their children number one or they put their grandchildren number one or they put other relationships number one the bible i believe teaches and gives the tip and the advice that wives should always their number one relationship and never allow to stop being number one is their husband so your focus your goal in life is to be a wife first a mother second a sister second a daughter second everything else is second number one is wife if you want to be a great wife be a wife first and then let everything else go into its its natural order number three boost your husband don't tear him down boost your i mean you were you were created to be a help me so what this means is it's not your job to criticize him it's not your job to rebuke him or to go around and correct him or to tell him what he's doing wrong it's your job to be his permanent cheerleader to only boost your husband and and a verse that i think about is in proverbs 31 here look at verse 12 it's talking about a the virtuous woman it says she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life that's a great verse you know a great wife is going to do good under her husband every single day just every day she's always boosting her husband encouraging her husband helping her husband and she's not going to do any harm to her husband try to hurt her husband you know the worst thing you can do is is have sabotage in the marriage right if you don't want your marriage to go well i mean you can sabotage it but if you want it to go well you're going to help your husband you're going to assist your husband you're going to do good on your husband all the days of your life that is your goal you you signed up for it i didn't force you to marry your husband you decided this is the man that i'm going to support for the rest of my life i'm going to just always just try to boost him and encourage him and support him and be on his team on his side and when you do this you have to realize that your husband's gonna have bad days you know it says every day right sometimes your dad your husband's gonna have a bad day sometimes your husband's gonna do wrong sometimes your husband's gonna screw up sometimes your husband's not going to be the man that he should be but you know what your goal is to still do him good that day is to still boost him that day still encourage him that day still to assist them and to help him you know what i like about cheerleaders which again i'm not for that profession necessarily or anything like that but is no matter how bad the team is losing they still cheer right i mean they're still doing the routine it's not like it's 50 to nothing they're like all right bye man you guys suck you know give me a u give me an o give me a give me a y give me a o give me a u they can't spell okay folks you suck you know it's like no they're gonna be like go team score you know they don't care that it's a blowout they cheer whether or not the team's doing great necessarily and and they boost the football players and they still like the football players and they still want to hang out with a football player you know just be just a just a constant cheerleader for your husband just just aside from now on i just i only am going to do good under him i'm only going to praise him i'm only going to be appreciative of everything he does and you know if he doesn't do anything good today if there's nothing worth of praising of the day then you know don't say anything or find something positive to say about the past you know i'm just glad you're alive honey i just really appreciated the other day just wanted to let you know that you know but don't tear him down you know he doesn't need everybody else is tearing him down okay work's tearing him down the world's tearing him down cnn's tearing him down everybody's tearing him down okay you got to be the one person in his life that's just on his side no matter what goviewood song of solomon chapter number six song of solomon chapter number six so so point number three boost him don't tear him down song of solomon chapter number six verse eight here's another verse i thought of there are three score queens and four scoring concubines and virgins without number my dove my undefiled is but one she is the only one of her mother she is the choice one of her that bear her the daughter saw her and blessed her yea the queens and the concubines and they praised her so the bible is saying that this woman to solomon is unique in the sense that she's better than every other woman and if you want to be queen you need to first make your husband king you know the reason why this woman is praised as being better than all the other ladies is look at how she treats her husband in the book of song of solomon you know if you make your husband a king in your household you can then rightly rightly become his queen but if you tear down your husband to the point where he's a nothing then you're married to nothing you know it's like you if you don't realize like the more you tear down your husband the worse you are because you married that the more you boost your husband the more you married up right it's like don't tear him down to where he's just a loser and then you married a loser that doesn't make you cool you know build him up to be a king and then you married a king you're a queen so it's like the reflections you have for your husband the way you treat him the way you give him respect the way that you talk about him the things that you do for him are going to affect you too you know if you put your husband on a pedestal for the family and you you model for your children that your husband is a king he's the king of the castle he's to be honored and respected and feared and we treat him with awe then it's going to allow for you to also get that same kind of treatment whereas if you treat dad as like someone to be picked on and and ridiculed and and talked down to then you're going to also then find yourself in a similar role sitting next to him you know don't expect to be elevated to be a queen when you're tearing down your husband to be a jester you know put your husband on a pedestal so that you can be alongside of him and you can be that queen to being his king and of course this woman that's why she's considered just so much better than every other woman it's like this woman is really just putting her husband on a pedestal praising everything about him i mean when did you find the criticism in Song of Solomon show me the woman criticizing her husband and you know he's like doing weird stuff like she can't find him he's not coming home late and all this stuff but she's still praising she's still seeking after him she still wants to be around him i mean you know arguably Solomon's got some some issues but this woman still likes him still appreciates everything about it and she's just focused on the positive you can choose every single day of her life to either focus on the positive or focus on the negative okay now you say how do i focus on the negative turn on the news i mean the news is just focused on the negative of this world there is especially certain news sites it is like only negative it's just it's just a negative perspective on life whereas you know i find some people in my life to be like almost only positive you know it's it's funny to me like one of my friends pastor Anderson he's like the most positive person i've ever been around in my life like he's always looking at everything from a really like positive perspective and i have to say if there's one attribute about him that i wish i could rub off on money is to be as positive as he is you know it doesn't matter it's like just the whole world's just descending into hell and he's just like sweet you know great i'm not going there it's just like he just has this like super positive outlook all the time and and i'm always thinking like how do you continue to be positive and happy just every day when it feels like every day gets a little worse like it just seems like America gets a little worse every day and just like morality a little worse and just another drag event and like another reprobate and just another just issue another lawsuit another you know just you laugh because it's true okay sorry the ticker just keeps going up uh just just like everything it just it kind of just feels like sometimes the walls are closing in if you want to let them but you know i've known pastor Anderson long enough and i've talked to him he has serious issues on a regular basis but he just continually is just so positive and so happy and what that tells me is this you can choose to be happy no matter what's happening in your life now frankly speaking why it sticks out to me that he's like that is because most people aren't like him most of most of us and most people are just not like him and i'm saying that we should all strive to be like him and just be a happy per every day you know as a wife you could be happy every single day now that might sound crazy to you but but here's the thing you're in the driver's seat like you get to decide how you go every day now of course you will have an enormity of problems every day especially if a lot of kids like they will they're gonna lie scream cry spill stuff they're gonna they're gonna ruin their clothes they're gonna do like you're gonna have like a hundred problems tomorrow if not tonight okay i get that but you could still just choose to be happy and you know you're being happy for yourself you're being happy for your husband you're being happy for your children and and really that gives me to my fifth point is just make the home pleasant because go to proverbs 21 just flip back a few pages to proverbs 21 you know when you're not a happy person it's hard to be a great wife you know what i liked about nehemiah is the bible says that he was just his countenance was never sad in the presence of the king that's incredible when you think about it he makes me think of someone like pastor anderson someone that was just it was just like you never saw him have a bad day you never saw him you know letting his emotions and and situations affect his attitude he just decided i'm gonna have a good attitude no matter what you know and it's nice to be around people that can just find the good in every bad situation proverbs 21 look at verse 19 is the opposite it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman you know what if you're angry every single day you have a problem and you say oh well if all my problems get fixed i wouldn't be angry you're lying to yourself because number one you're never going to have a day where you don't have problems like just let's let's just pause for a moment when did you have a day when you didn't have problems it's like you always did it's like well back when i was a teenager you had problems in school all your girlfriend drama and all your school drama and all your parents drama holding you back and whatever i mean you're just always gonna have tons and tons of problems in life sufficient under the days the evil thereof so what you have to do is you just have to decide i'm going to take control of my emotions i'm going to take control of my attitude and i'm going to decide to be pleasant today regardless of what happens now here's just some practical advice go if you would back to song of solomon how do you do this practically speaking because it sounds great right i think everybody would just say like sure fine i'll do that but then they they don't okay so so here's two ways to try to actually be pleasant every single day number one is you got to read the bible to start the day because the scriptures can put you in the right attitude in the right frame of mind okay so if you want to be pleasant that day if you want to be pleasant tomorrow start with the bible see how you have to have you have to start now that might mean you have to get up a little earlier than the kids it might mean you have to do something you know to get to make that work but i'm just trying to be honest with you if you struggle with this and you want to be more pleasant in the home number one you have to start with the bible number two is probably even more important as far as being being pleasant you must expect many problems for the day you have to believe many problems are going to happen because because you know it's like okay i gave my kid a tall glass of milk he's gonna spill it it's like okay i gave all the kids juice they're gonna get on their shirt and they're gonna run their shirt well i let the kids go out and play they're probably gonna fall down get hurt stung by a bee get mosquito bites they're gonna hit each other one of the kids might break an arm you know just saying i mean you just you have to go into the day and say like all right i'm gonna have a hundred problems today no no problem i'm going in and i already got this because this is what happens your expectation is like all right today the kids are going to be they're going to sit down and they're going to be quiet and they're going to obey and the school work is going to go perfectly and laundry is going to go perfectly and i'm never going to get interrupted and no one's going to be mad at no the kids aren't going to scream at each other you know nothing nothing bad is going to happen today and then what happens all of that is just ruined and then you just get angry and angry and anger and anger all day and then eventually your husband comes home and he's like i want to leave too okay because look your husband when he goes to work the boss doesn't say you know what we actually got everything done today there was no problems do you just want to play ping pong all day let's just go watch a movie and then he's just like yeah it was a fun day you know you know what happens when they come to work so we fire three people and actually we're behind and i might need you to work through lunch and uh here's 10 other problems i don't want to solve i don't even know how to get them done will you do them actually not will you do it now it's like that's his day you know i don't go into work thinking like you know what there's probably nothing bad that's gonna happen today it's just like that's a foolish attitude you know i have to go i have to wake up every morning thinking like what lawsuit do i have next today you know like what's my new lawsuit and then i can be like pleased when i don't have one right when i don't get another one or i don't have another issue i don't have another problem or i don't you know it's like which 10 platforms that i get you know censored from today it's like okay otherwise my life would just be a train wreck it just be like i'd be frustrated everything it's like banned from paypal and banned from sermon audio and banned from youtube and banned from facebook and banned from this bank and banned from every bank and banned from every merchant processor and it's just like no it's just like oh okay i guess i gotta work on another one oh i guess i gotta do that you know but wives should have the same attitude with their kids oh spill it again okay no problem cleaned up oh they punched them all right spanking all right they yelled okay i'm gonna spank them i'm shocked no i'm not okay oh they don't know how to do their schoolwork i'm gonna help them with their school you know you just you just go on any day it's like hey it's no problem you know i read the bible and it said you know something in proverbs that helped me something that encouraged me i read proverbs 31 i'm thinking about my husband today you know that that's gonna help you practically read the bible in the morning have expectations that you will have an infinite number of problems the rest of your life if you have bad expectations you have no expectations or poor expectations that can ruin everything you know my philosophy is to expect for the worst and hope for the best right you don't want to have this this idea of like everything's going to always work out because you're going to constantly be disappointed why because everyone sucks okay and and did you read the bible how about read this verse every morning foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of corrections will drive it far from them so you say you know what you're gonna get 10 today maybe that's what you should do you should write down a number like i expect 10 from him today and they're gonna get eight they're gonna get seven and then like when it's it's only nine you're like well it's a good day you know instead of thinking like zero for all of them it's like that's unrealistic okay that's just that's just not how life works also here's another one point six don't brag about being better than your husband now i know some people don't understand this but women can be better than men at things okay can i get an amen and and it's okay that your wife is better than you at something you know what as a woman don't brag about being better than your husband at anything that's a way to be just like an employee an employee shouldn't brag about being better than his boss at something at work and if you're if you're smarter than your husband if you're better at finances if you're better with words if you understand more about some topic which is there's a lot of topics that women know way more about than their husband because they're in it they're involved they do whatever homeschooling you know i wouldn't even be surprised if a lot of these women who homeschool their children they're probably better at grammar they're probably better at handwriting they're probably better at a lot of different things you know what even if you are don't criticize your husband even if you're better than him at something or put him down encourage help him you're a help me you're there to assist him and help him get better at things you know if you ask your husband to get something in the store he's probably not as good as you at doing that i remember my sister uh she always cooked with butter amen okay no margarine and she's at home and they're early married and and she's like trying to make i can't remember what it was but something with butter which is anything right and they have margarine and she's like go to the store and get some butter i don't want to use this margarine so my brother-in-law goes to the store and comes back with margarine and she's like i said to get butter why did you get margarine he says well it's cheaper it's like yeah he's bad at shopping you know my wife asked me to make enchiladas and get heavy whipping cream and i came back with cool whip okay i didn't know what that was but you know what we both ate it okay it's cool whip enchiladas right she didn't have to tear me down and she didn't okay so you know what you just eat the cool whip enchiladas and then you help your husband know what that looks like next time you're like here's a picture here's the aisle you know let me assist you in this test or you're like i'm gonna get the groceries from now on this is not tips on how to get out of getting groceries okay folks number seven put the husband before children okay this is kind of similar to the other point but it's more specific because your your children need more attention than your husband arguably i mean of course right you may have to cut up their food you may have to serve them more they're gonna make more messes and everything like that but in general you should still put them first and you know here's just ways to put them first how about at the dinner table dad gets served first before the children when it comes to lunch you make dad's lunch before your concerned with the kids lunch you know when it comes to anything that revolves around the dad you're putting him first you have to answer this question in what ways do you put your husband above your children you know you say i don't know well that's not a good idea you know a good idea is to find ways that you can put your husband first and practically speaking sometimes you're gonna serve the children first i get that right but i'm just saying try to try to even impress it upon your children dad is way more important than you guys like i care more about him than i care about you guys you guys are a far distant second and that should be vice versa but of course we're talking about wise this this evening number eight let your husband know that you love him i know that guys are are tough we talked about this morning okay but they they're kind of softies inside they're pretending that they're tough they need for you to constantly tell them how much you love them okay now look at solomon song of solomon chapter five verse eight i charge your daughters of jewslam if you find my beloved that you tell him that i'm sick of love you know she's like hey i want everybody to know i love this guy verse nine what is my beloved more than another beloved oh thou fairest among women what is thy beloved more than another beloved that thou dost so charges so they're like yeah yeah this is your husband whatever why why is he so much better verse 10 my beloved is white and ruddy notice that white is right no i'm just kidding the chief is among ten thousand his head is as the most fine gold his locks are bushy and black as a raven his eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters washed with milk and fitly set his cheeks are as a bed of spices as sweet flowers his lips like lilies dropping sweet smelling myrrh his hands are as gold rings set with the barrel his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires his legs are as pillars of marble set upon sockets of fine gold his countenance is as lebanon excellent as the cedars his mouth is most sweet yay he is all together lovely this is my beloved and this is my friend oh daughters of Jerusalem could you imagine i mean you're you're some late your wife's just talking to her girlfriends they're like this is how i describe my husband it's like hey let let me husband know that i'm missing him i love him oh yeah why look at this list i mean she's just like describing everything she just i mean could you really tell me this woman doesn't like her husband at all i mean it sounds like this woman loves her husband is obsessed with her husband wants to tell her about how great her husband is and how she finds him lovely and you know what whatever it is about your husband that you like you should tell him that you like it this is going to help you become a great wife and he loves to hear about it you know i'll tell you this your husband probably would never get sick of you telling him how much of a study is i'm just telling you like he won't get tired of it he you could you say i want to talk to my husband okay have a sit-down meeting and you're going to tell him everything you like about him he'll he's all ears okay he wants to hear about how great he is okay you got to feed his ego a little bit right go to first peter chap number three number nine is be interested in his activities be interested in his activities you know god created the woman to be the help of the man so let's be real the man's activities are more important than the wife's activities so you should be interested in his activities you know what he is prioritizing in his life what he thinks is important what he's going to do for the family you need to be interested in what he's doing you know learn about what he likes and what he does i heard a great preacher dr phil stringer he said this about women he said hey i know those young women that are interested in the football players they don't know anything about football but if they're interested in a football player they'll learn everything there is to know about football they'll learn about how the game's played and the rules and and they'll go watch the game and they love to learn about football just because they're interested in the guy and you know what guys love it when girls take an interest in the things that their husband is into you know his hobbies the things that he likes his work everything that he likes to do you know church that's a great thing if your husband's really into church get interested in his activities you know he's interested in the bible get interested in the bible you know you want to talk with your husband be interested in the activities he's into because then he'll talk to you about it you know some guys it's really easy for me to talk to and other guys i mean i can talk to anybody i feel like i know a lot of different things and i have some experience and virtually everything so it's pretty easy for me to find something to talk about but the guys that are just the easiest to talk to it's when we both have a lot of interest in the same activities and of course you know if you want it to be easy for you and your wife to communicate you got to find some common ground you got to find some things that you're both interested in that you can kind of talk about that you can both share about you know whereas if you have a whole cornucopia of information that she doesn't understand it's going to be very difficult to communicate you know it's very difficult to explain a football game if you don't know anything about football it doesn't really matter you could have you could have a really epic statement that you meant make like he made a one-handed catch and scored a touchdown it's like what's a touchdown you know it's like okay i got to explain that you know you got to have a certain level of base understanding to be able to communicate with people and connect with people on a certain level and so as a wife you should strive to know more about your husband more about his activities and in fact just a great way is just hey husband tell me about this explain this to me i want to know more about this you mind helping me understand this you know and they would love to sit there and tell you about all these things and of course feign interest at least okay number 10 always submit always submit so we're in first peter chapter number three it's giving instructions to wipe and specifically in a situation where the husband is not great verse one likewise you always be in subjection your own husbands that if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wise while the behold your chase conversation coupled with fear so according to the bible a wife is supposed to submit herself to her husband regardless of how he behaves and of course it's easy when he's good it's easy when he's righteous it's easy when he's a leader it's hard when he's not but this this verse is not about the easy times it's about the hard times so as a great wife a great wife will just always do what her husband says no matter how good a husband he is no matter how sinful he is no matter what he's doing you know you gotta realize this verse is even for a wife that's married to an unbeliever i mean if a wife is supposed to submit to an unsaved guy how much more should she submit to a husband that's already saved and taken to a church and you know if you've got a man in this room that's taken to a to a church like this i mean you have to submit i mean why would you not that's a way to be a great wife verse five look at it says for after this manner in the old time the holy women also who trusted in god adorn themselves being in subjection under their own husbands even as sarah obeyed abraham calling him lord whose daughters he are as long as you do well and are not afraid of any amazement now you know what i like about this couple is it's using sarah as such a great example of a woman that's willing to submit and subject herself to her husband but think about this who's her husband isn't her husband abraham i mean if you were going to think like i don't know if you ever have this thought but you're like if you're going to marry someone in the bible as a lady wouldn't abraham be kind of like the one of the top guys in the bible like you would think like of men to marry in the bible you would think like of men to marry in the bible like abraham's probably one of the top guys yet sarah still had to submit to this guy meaning that hey you know what even if you're married to abraham you're gonna have things you disagree with him on like you would think like there's a guy that i can follow it's abraham but it's like even sarah had to submit and subject herself unto abraham meaning there was time she disagreed with abraham there was time she didn't like what abraham decided yet the bible commended sarah because she was willing to submit herself unto abraham and you know what if abraham is someone that you're going to disagree with you're definitely disagree with your husband your husband's going to have issues and so women should learn to be obedient and should always submit to their husband period number 11 be beautiful and appealing go to proverbs 31 proverbs 31 um obviously we we believe in women being modest we believe in covering their nakedness but that doesn't mean you can't be beautiful i don't i don't think that a woman dressed like a whore makes her more beautiful you know and a woman being immodest doesn't make her more beautiful um but at the same time you know those things can distract from true beauty and actually cheapen what a woman looks like and so when we when we preach about women dressing feminine and dressing godly and and not focusing on their physical appearance we're not trying to get you all to look like amish women okay we're not trying to get you to all wear the same dress okay now if that happens by coincidence i'm not pointing fingers all right i'm just saying you know you should be beautiful and appealing for your husband and you say well i don't know if that's in the bible but look at proverbs 31 verse 22 she maketh herself coverings of tapestry her clothing is silk and purple so notice this woman's actually putting a lot of effort and energy into her clothing and making her clothing be what very appealing very beautiful so you know what i'm all for women dressing in a beautiful way remaining beautiful remaining appealing and and of course you know if you're going to figure out how to dress my second my 12th point is the dress the way he wants you know whatever your husband likes why not dress that way you know or if there's certain things that he prefers or likes more or less you know you should strive to be appealing for your husband strive to be beautiful for your husband and and work on maintaining that in your relationship verse or not verse point 13 talk to him very frankly about his needs go to song of solomon chapter number two song of solomon chapter number two talk to him frankly very frankly about his needs now the word frankly means blunt obvious very clear so we're not being vague about things and you know as a wife since you're a helper you should just ask your husband like what is it that you really want i mean there should be like a regular interval of your life where you're constantly just getting feedback from your husband and ask him like what do you want like what what meals do you want me to make you you know like what more can i do in a relationship what what is it that i could do for your clothing more what could i do with the kids more what you know just ask him like what do you or what do you need is there something that you know is bothering you that i can help you with is there something about work that's frustrating you think that i could help with hey is there some you know thing with church that i could help with you know this is just how to be a great wife and let me be frank you know as men instead of getting all like i hope my wife does this think about how you could do this for your boss at work because it's the same concepts right if you want to be a great employee you should be constantly thinking like what hey boss what could i do to make this better how can i help more is there another area that you want me to work in right because it's the same relationship as far as just things that make you great and and when it comes to being a wife you could frankly talk to him about his needs or just are you ever even concerned about your husband's needs this this is what i find in bad marriages women will approach the church and they'll say pastor shelly you know my marriage isn't going well because my husband's not meeting my needs or a husband will come to me and say hey pastor shelly my wife's not meeting my needs you know they never come to me and they say like hey pastor shelly i'm really concerned that i'm not meeting my spouse's needs and i'll be honest i don't think that people like the marriage counseling advice i give them because because usually when someone comes to me and they say hey pastor shelly my husband's not meeting my needs this is what i usually tell well you know what you should do you should try to meet your husband's needs more you should try to you should try to like serve him more and and do better things for him it's like i thought you're gonna call my husband and tell him he's a jerk you know it's like husband's like telling me they have problems with their wife it's like okay we'll serve her more or help her more or love on her more or or do that it's like you know if you have problems in your marriage you should try to do more you know why do you think doing less will help doing the same is not doing anything apparently doing less obviously wouldn't fix the problem so your only real alternative is to do more or i don't know if they hopefully they don't think that i was ever say like we'll just quit then give up no i'll never tell you that i'll tell you if your spouse sucks and is the worst spouse ever i'll be like hey just do the best you possibly can serve them a hundred percent because why wouldn't you you know that's what god expects of you that's what god wants you to do and you know as a wife you should be considered about his needs not your needs look at song of solomon chapter 2 verse 7 tell me oh thou whom my soul loveth where thou fetus where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon for why should i be as i'm sorry i'm reading verse 1 chapter 1 verse 7 of chapter 2 i charge you daughters of jerusalem by the rose and by the hinds of the field that you stir not up nor awake my love till he please let's read that again okay i like this i charge you oh you daughters of jerusalem by the rose and by the hinds of the field that you stir not up nor awake my love till he please so he's saying hey you guys be quiet don't let your animals run around don't make any noises we're not going to wake up my husband until he wants to wake up that's that's incredible when you think about it and i mean she's in charge of all these other ladies and all these other things going on it's like kids hush dad's sleeping i mean whose needs is she concerned with she's concerned with her husband's needs and i'm just telling you that's in the bible i i just read a verse in the bible okay folks if you don't like the bible you're welcome to go anywhere else look at verse four or i'm not go to proverbs 31 go to proverbs 31 my 14th point is be a good listener you know as a wife you're a better communicator so you should work on being a good listener think about what your husband's saying think about what he wants think about uh you know topics that he's interested in telling you about and just sit down and listen just listen your husband talk you know the bible says if if if a woman's going to learn anything let her ask her husband at home you know if if you're going to learn something the only way to learn is to be silent and to listen and and i think that a lot of women could benefit from letting their husbands teach them things in the bible and and or just life or just have a good conversation you know being a good listener is a great way to to build a relationship and what i find is everybody loves a good listener you know if you if you have a friend that's always over talking you and anytime you bring up something they just kind of bring up their point or it seems like while you're talking they're just thinking about the next thing they want to say you kind of stop losing interest you don't really want to talk that person that much people that actually are they're hanging on every word that you say they're engaging back and forth of what you're saying and they want they genuinely just want or desire to hear what you have to say you love being around that person and so of course as a great wife if you want your husband to have a lot of affection towards you you know you want your husband to think this i can't wait to go home and tell my wife what just happened i can't wait to share this story with my wife i'm so excited to tell my wife about this and you know why he thinks that because i know that my wife is going to listen to me i know that my wife's going to be engaged in the conversation and i know that my wife is going to give me a positive reaction when i tell her this story she's not going to be mad at me or nagging or wanting to tell me something or not that i mean she just wants to sit down and she just wants to listen to whatever i have to say that'll help with your marriage my 15th point is be very frugal financially look at proverbs 31 verse 11 the heart of her husband is safely trusting her so that he shall have no need of spoil you know our economy is getting worse generally speaking and and budgets are getting cut at the workplace wages are going down inflation's going up gas is going up taxes are going up i mean just everything is just food man the cost of food is just spiked everything's more expensive and it doesn't look like there's any slowing down even and and wages are not keeping up with this type of stuff typically speaking so you know one thing you could do to just help your marriage and help your husband is to try and save money by working harder as opposed to working less and costing more money because because everything you can have anything with money like there's almost nothing you can't buy today i mean if you don't want to go buy groceries you can have someone buy groceries for you if you don't want to go buy prada handbags you can buy you can pay for a personal shopper to go buy you a fifteen thousand dollar purse i mean if you if you could just dream up anything i mean you could buy anything you want i mean you can have you can have mcdonald's delivered people might even deliver indian food i don't know i don't know why you pay for that but i mean at the store you can you can buy any food at any stage in its process right i mean you can buy flour you could buy tortillas you could buy tacos you could buy taco bell right you could get you can get food at any stage in the food processing situation right so if i buy it at its already made stage is that going to be more or less money it's going to be the most money but what if i get it at the like second stage it's going to be more work less money if i go further back it's less money more work if i go even further back it's less money it's more work so as a wife you get to decide sometimes with your husband's discretion where on all these scales you're going to hit these things and and i'm just saying as a wife you know this woman she works really hard if you read this passage just constantly working with her hands constantly putting a lot of labor and effort into her work and you know i believe that a wife should sometimes consider you know what could i save money by working a little harder on this task and and maybe that'll help ease a little bit of attention at home help your husband assist your husband you know i'm i'm not even against women making money theoretically as long as it's not really prohibiting the her job duties because even this woman in verse 18 she perceived that her merchandise is good her candle goeth not out by night think about what this woman's doing she's not buying clothes she's making clothes she's not only making clothes she's selling clothes she's not even just buying food she's making i mean she's buying a field she's working in the field with her hands she's she has so much abundance she's even giving stuff out to poor people because she has all this extra you know the proverbs 31 woman to me is not a queen sitting on a throne getting grapes fed to her she's in the field plucking the grapes and feeding poor people and you know you say well that sounds like hard work it is but you know what she's also happy the woman working in the vineyard plucking grapes and feeding poor people has a smile on her face and the queen sitting in her throne getting fed grapes is dissatisfied content and has rbf just telling you that's how life is you say oh i want to be that lady you wouldn't want to be it because as soon as you get to be that you'd be dissatisfied and discontent and upset i mean look at all the women of our world that have all the money and all the fame they're not happy women they're not content you know women women get satisfaction from from their husband being pleased with them and from their children loving them you know what makes my wife's heart warm when the little kids get hurt and they want mommy you know that's what makes her feel special you know and they don't want dad they want mom okay and then that just kind of helps her feel even more special because she's just like you know my kid they get hurt and they run around the corner they see dad like mom you know it's like they're like no it's like i didn't want it either okay i'm just kidding go to psalm in chapter seven my 16 point never criticized his parents now that's probably hard because i bet you you got a list for his parents you might have some some zingers you know what it doesn't really help anything it doesn't really benefit anything just don't criticize his parents 17 try to eat alone with your husband now i understand that that's difficult so so my my specific advice is is maybe try it once a week to try and eat alone with your husband and what you could do is you feed the kids earlier in the evening and then once they're in bed then you'll have like a date night at home that you prepared so you kind of have you have dinner for the kids but then you have dinner for your husband and y'all try to eat alone you kind of have you say i want more romance in my life we'll facilitate it you know no one's stopping you from making all the romance and all the stuff in your marriage be better and and really in song of solomon if you look at how this woman behaves herself seems like she's facilitating a lot of the romance look at song of solomon chapter 7 verse 10 i am my beloved's and his desire is toward me come my beloved let us go forth into the field let us lodge in the villages let us get up early to the vineyards let us see if the vine flourish whether the tender grape appear and the pomegranates bud forth there will i give thee my loves the mandrakes give a smell and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits new and old which new and old which i have laid up for thee oh my beloved notice what this woman says come with me to my place where i've laid up all of my fruits for you this sounds like she prepared a special event for her and her husband to go away to that she did everything you know queen esther made the banquet for her husband he just showed up the the wise woman furnishes her table you just see this over and over in scripture and nobody understands it's better than than jacob apparently so you know it's only amens i'm getting in the room 18th point get a hobby or some work or some skill that you can do together you know as a wife not only should be interested in activity find an activity to do you know sometimes you you think like oh i want to spend more time with my husband we'll find something that you guys can do you know what i don't really think it matters what it is i i'm not saying like there's a specific answer doing doing a puzzle taking a lot together working out together uh you know some people like to do 5ks together ride bikes together sometimes people like to write things read books together um go to do certain activities you know whatever it is i don't really care you know you could learn a language together you could learn a subject together you could learn some kind of a history subject together i mean it really to me it doesn't really matter because it's the working together that's going to make your relationship better the activity is is not that as important i mean in fact it could be an activity you both don't even like and your marriage will get way better because you'll both just enjoy all the laughing about how stupid it was and you didn't like it it's like it's not so much the activities it's doing the stuff together that's important you know and in fact i guarantee some of your cherished moments even are sometimes things you didn't even like together you both you reminisce about stupid things or bad things or weird things or remember when we went to this dumb church remember when this preacher preached this dumb thing or remember how dumb adam fannin was or you know whatever it is it's like you know it's just you get to share you share those moments together and you have that camaraderie and you have that closeness you know remember when we went to this restaurant and it was terrible and you know or whatever the situation is it's just doing stuff together is important find something to do there's got to be something you can do together right and like i said it's it's not even so much what is that you're just doing stuff together 19 don't boss your husband around or tell him what to do around the house keep clear of strong suggestions or orders you know what you're not your husband's boss and you should just never play that role you know you know what doesn't happen praise god is dylan never tells me what to do you know i've never came to work and dylan was like pastor shelley go in your office now you know pastor shelley clean the carpet now pastor shelley you need to preach this sermon you know he's never said that to me because he still works for me you know wouldn't that be weird wouldn't you if if if you know if i was talking to you after the service and dylan just walked up and said like pastor shelley you need to go and clean my office right now wouldn't you be kind of horrified wouldn't you be like that was weird like dylan's about to get fired or something you know but then how is it any weirder when you go home tonight and you start ordering your husband around oh well he's an employee and i'm a wife well you know what that's just you being prideful because it's the same it's the same type of relationship when it comes to that circumstance yeah of course there's differences and i'm not saying there isn't differences but you know it's not your job to boss your husband around or tell him what to do if he doesn't want to do it he doesn't have to get over it number 20 read a book on marriage by a good christian author now i agree with this but i have to be honest i don't have like a just immediate recommendation the only book i've heard of and i haven't personally read it i've heard from other people it's pretty good there's a book by john r rice called the home now i've heard though he does teach in the book specifically that it's okay to divorce your spouse i think for uh fornication or something like that or he he mixes up fornication adultery don't quote me on that but he teaches something weird there obviously i would disagree with that if he did teach that but but i think there's a lot of other good advice in there i think that if there is it there is material out there that you could find that would be a good idea or maybe even listen to sermons you know pastor menes pastor anderson some of these other guys have probably a lot of good sermons on marriage consider just improving your marriage by listening to other good advice from these men number 21 be home when your husband is home now of course you know i'm not gonna read any more verses but in song of solomon she's waiting at home for her husband and you know a frustrating thing sometimes is as a husband coming home and your wife's not there you're wondering why she's not there there's the miscommunication you know you have so many hours in the day often when your have so many hours in the day often when your husband's away that you can get things done you should always organize your day to the best of your ability to be available when your husband's available because your husband has a limited window of time so if you're always doing everything when he is available you're just not gonna have a good relationship you should try to organize your life around his life whenever he's available you're available it's not like oh great now you're home bye or oh great now you're home i'm gonna do all of my tasks now today finally i'm done looking at facebook for eight hours now it's time for me to actually do some chores around the house you know it's like do all the chores around the house while he's gone and then spend all day with him and get banned from facebook okay how do you do that i don't know but it's pretty easy apparently number 22 have the chores done when he arrives so again you know i i say this because i've seen it i've seen couples where the wife and not even in this church as other people is dissatisfied with her husband wanting to spend time with her or the amount of time they spend together but then i know for a fact that they're not getting all the chores done when they get home they're not having the house be prepared i mean if if you have dinner ready at 5 30 every day on the table hot and fresh you're gonna serve your husband i'm gonna tell you something he's gonna want to come home at 5 30 but if he walks through the door it's a it's a hurricane whirlwind and she's she's screaming at him right as soon as he walks through the door everybody's screaming you know then he's gonna want to go to the wilderness right i mean you gotta think about how to prepare the home for the king to arrive you know if jesus was going to come to your house at 5 p.m tomorrow night what would your house look like and smell like and what would you be like well i would actually clean the house tomorrow and i'd make a really good meal and i'd be dressed really pretty okay do that treat your husband as you would treat jesus christ and and then get back to me and tell me how good your marriage is you know it's like well my marriage isn't going very well but okay try these 22 things you know this is my tips on how to be a great wife and look to be a great wife is your calling in life for most of you why not be the best wife you can possibly be fulfill god's role that he has for you in your life and and i believe that you know marriage is probably probably the most important institution when it comes to this world you know when marriages fail everything else fails marriages fail the kids fail church fails when marriages are failing i mean and if there's one institution the devil is just trying to just wreck havoc on it's marriage the devil hates marriage people don't want to get married anymore people are giving up on marriage left and right marriages are being ruined and destroyed and and why would you think when you look at the train wreck of the world that any of their ways are working i mean do you really do you really expect me to believe that what is going on out here is good show me the healthy marriages that exist outside of this church right now so of course you need to submit yourself and trust in the lord and realize if i want to have a great marriage i got to do this and nuts to if everybody else has a bad marriage that's their problem but you know what as for me and my husband we're going to have a good marriage and you know what i guarantee you do these 22 things you're going to have a great marriage you know you say oh my husband's a loser well did you read first peter chapter three and even if he is you know you're the exception and i'm sure jesus will reward you greatly for being a great wife to a bad guy i don't think that jesus is going to going to be mad at you for being such a great wife to such a loser so why does it matter anyways you're going to get rewarded eternally for it so let's close in prayer thank you heavenly father for our church thank you for the women in this room thank you for making help meets what a wonderful gift thank you for making help meets what a wonderful gift and a blessing a wife is i pray that those women in this room that that have heard the preaching would not look down upon the role of a wife would not think that being a wife is a worthless occupation or worthless role but rather they'd realize it's it's their calling it's what you've designed them for and that they have a capability of being a great help meet under their husband i pray that you would encourage them as they try to serve their husbands i pray that you would give them joy you give them satisfaction you'd give them patience you would help them with their daily struggles you'd help them with the right attitude i pray that you would just give them wisdom from the bible and from their husband and that you'd help their marriages to to be the best they possibly can be in jesus name we pray amen all right in closing if you would grab your hymnals and turn to page 56 when we all get to heaven 56. that's page 56 when we all get to heaven 56 sing the wondrous love of jesus sing his mercy and his grace in the mansions bright and blessed he'll prepare for us a place when we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be when we all see jesus we'll sing and shout the victory while we walk the pilgrim pathway clouds will overspread the sky but when traveling days are over not a shadow not a sign when we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be when we all see jesus we'll sing and shout the victory let us then be true and faithful trusting serving every day just one glimpse of him and glory will the toys of life repay when we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be will be when we all see jesus we'll sing and shout the victory onward to the prize before us soon his beauty will be home soon the pearly gates will open we shall tread the streets of gold when we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be when we all see jesus we'll sing and shout the victory good job you guys are dismissed