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Look back at verse number 12 where the Bible read have I conceived all this people Have I begotten them that thou shouldst say unto me carry them in thy bosom as a nursing father Beareth the sucking child on the land which thou swear is under their fathers When should I have flesh to give all this people? Where they weep unto me saying give us flesh that we may eat we see in Numbers chapter number 11 that Moses is angry at the people because the people are complaining. They're constantly whining and Moses likens them unto a bunch of children unto a bunch of babies and he's saying to God he's fed up with them He's saying hey, what's going on here? Are you really expecting me to bear all these people that I can see all of these people now? What's the context here? Well, first of all, we see the children of Israel act like a bunch of little babies And we see Moses is fed up with them. He's fed up with all these little kids and how they interact But another thing we can learn here is that Moses Puts an expectation on those who bear children To bear them those that actually have conceived children. There would be an expectation for them to bear them Look what he says in verse 12. He says as a nursing father Barrett the sucking child so Moses is saying hey Did I beget these kids because then there would be a burden upon me then I would be an expectation Of me to actually take care of these children, but they're not mine That's what he's kind of drawing the connection to but let's pick up that thought Because the Bible makes it clear that there would be an expectation on the father to bear the children The reason why I'm holding James this morning is because you men need to realize it's okay for leaders to serve It's okay for leaders to serve and to bear the children say what's a nursing father? Well, don't take that super literal like overly carnally literal, okay If you go to the hospital, they'll say who's the birth father, right? What do they mean by that? You didn't give birth? They're talking about the one that's involved right? It's talking about a child that is nursing and you're the father of it So you're the nursing father notice it then also clarifies as the sucking child now I have with me a nurse Ling. I have a sucking child with me and You know, you don't get to see me model how I would handle my family during the service So I'll just model it up here while I preach for you. Okay Now go go to Matthew chapter 20 Matthew chapter 20, but the title of my sermon this morning is servant leadership Servant leadership. This is the type of model that we should look at and find in the Bible and emulate Now for some people they say well, I can't hold my child and turned all the places in the Bible Well, I don't have any verses my Bible so I have to turn with you All right, so if I can turn there you can turn there. All right, Matthew chapter 20. Look at verse 25 The Bible says but Jesus called them unto him and said ye know that the princes of the Gentiles Exercise dominion over them and they that are great exercise authority upon them, but it shall not be so among you But whosoever will be great among you. Let him be your minister and whosoever with chief among you Let him be your servant even as the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give his life of ransom for Many notice what Jesus Christ's attitude is when the disciples they want to be great. They want to have this preeminence They want to be in charge. They want to have some position of leadership Well, Jesus Christ points out that the Gentiles the reason why they want to be an authority is something that people serve them So they can Lord over other people but Jesus Christ said hey if you want to be really great in the kingdom of God It's through being a minister it's through being a servant that is the picture that Jesus Christ puts forth and That's the picture that he modeled for us Jesus Christ when he came to this earth did not come to be worshiped and served and everybody just do everything he wanted No, he came to serve us He came to minister to us He laid down his life of ransom for all is what the Bible teaches and if you want to be chief You need to be a servant. You need to be a minister. This is a picture of true leadership in God's house So my first point this morning is a true servant leader has concern for others A true servant leader has a concern for others. It's concern Notice that this person is not concerned with themselves. They're concerned with others Go to 1st Corinthians chapter 10 1st Corinthians chapter number 10 Let me show you another verse on this But when it comes to being in a position of leadership if you want to do it according to the Bible It should be because you have a great concern for other people You want to do good unto other people they talk about in the government how everyone's a public servant That's theoretically what they're supposed to do, but it doesn't seem like it matches up with reality doesn't it? Seems like they're really only concerned about themselves. They're only concerned about their campaign They're only concerned about their money and their prestige their pride or their fame their legacy They're not concerned for the people in which they serve This is a bad model of a leader first Corinthians chapter 10 look at verse 24 Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth Now that's a verse that really I feel like should challenge every single one of us Because it's really easy to be concerned with your own wealth But this is saying hey don't be concerned with your own wealth be concerned with the wealth of others think about other people's wealth Now obviously this book is a spiritual book So I'm not gonna sit here and just try to make you a bunch of money physically but what I can do is worry about giving you a spiritual wealth and Not be concerned with myself necessarily but concerned with other people and trying to give them well trying to enrich other people Trying to be wildly successful not for yourself try to be wildly successful or others try to encourage other people to be wildly successful Try to encourage them and promote them and try to foster their Attributes their abilities give them opportunities to succeed Sometimes you have to decrease what did John the Baptist say I must decrease but he must increase Right. So in order for Jesus Christ to increase to the fullest extent John the Baptist had decreased He had to get off the scene. We stopped reading about John the Baptist in the New Testament Don't we once Jesus Christ comes on the scene? It's all Jesus pretty much the only thing we get is the afterthought where he gets beheaded and then we get the you know Jesus Christ brings him up again but really John the Baptist just exit the scene quickly so that Jesus Christ can come on the scene and He can get all the preeminence. He can get all the attention that he needs and for us. That's a great attribute We want to have the same attribute of John the Baptist. He was noted as the greatest man born among women Say I want to be great. Okay. We'll try to enrich other people try to serve other people Try to help other people become successful have concern for others How about praise? Some people are only concerned with making sure that they're praised making sure that other people take note of all of their Accomplishments, but why don't you worry about other people's accomplishments and giving praise to them? Specifically the Lord Jesus Christ that should be our main focus Our main concern should be that the name of Jesus Christ is praised that it's given its glory That it takes the preeminence. It's not about steadfast. It's about Jesus Christ It's not about my preaching. It's about the Bible. It's not about what we do It's about what Jesus Christ has already done and so we need to give him the praise and him the honor and him the glory and then when we take Jesus Christ for the majority of our praise then the next level should be other people The next person you should be concerned with is someone else not yourself. In fact forget worrying about praising yourself Don't care what other people think about you you should only care what people think about the Lord Jesus Christ and the other people around you and try to build them up and Try to praise them and try to lift them up and don't try to you know Worry about if people recognize everything you do here I don't need I don't need that you don't need that and in fact It doesn't make you feel that bet that great because typically people that want that if you have that prideful thought You do something kind of cool or it's kind of great and then you're trying to show people usually their Reaction is never what you're anticipating in your mind. You're like, hey, did you see what I did over here? And they're like cool Yeah Or they're like, oh you did that Are you finished And you're like, yeah doesn't it look great and they're like, yeah That doesn't make you feel better. Anyways, don't dig for compliments. Don't dig for praise Let another man praise the and not thine own lips a stranger and not thine own mouth Okay Now go view into Romans chapter 15 Romans chapter number 15 a servant leader is not walking around begging for praise Begging for compliments Did you notice how great I am? I just wanted to let you know that How wonderful I am and how good I do and everything that I do touch everything I touch turns to gold People start trying to tear you down in their mind when you start praising yourself Just don't praise yourself and don't go to the opposite extreme of having fake humility of being like well I'm so terrible and I'm so awful and nobody nobody loves me. Nobody likes me I can't do anything right? This is fake humility as well The best humility just keep your mouth shut and then when you open it, you're praising other people look at Romans chapter 15 verse 1 the Bible says We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please ourselves Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification Notice how that was worded to please his Neighbor are the things that you do in your life to please someone else are they to please you If you're a true servant leader your actions are going to be to please Others to try and do good unto others to try and make sure that they're pleased specifically obviously God the Father I shouldn't be going around trying to please myself all day I should try to go around pleasing God and you know what sometimes whenever I'm gonna please God or the Lord Jesus Christ It's not gonna be that pleasing to me It may seem like I'm crucifying the flesh or may be some kind of a detriment to me or my personal whims or wants But you know what? My heart doesn't really desire spiritual things in the flesh Anyways, I have to crucify the flesh and I have to try and walk in the spirit And you know what? Whenever I give honor and glory to the Lord Jesus Christ, then my spirit man can be renewed But there's that fight constantly and when you try to please yourself You're never gonna feel good. You're never gonna be satisfied your spirit is gonna feel crushed if you just well, you know I do I just laid on the couch all day and I ate food That's not satisfying nobody wakes up from that and says like wow, that was great. I'm really glad I did that No, they're thinking like I'm lazy. I Got nothing accomplished. I wish I had done something different today, right? You feel good after you accomplish something after you praise and seek others pleasure. That's what gives you true satisfaction You know, I've gotten way more satisfaction from gifts that I've given to people than any gift I've ever received And hey, I like getting gifts. It's not like it's bad. But you know, what's better is Giving someone else a special gift, you know someone that you thought about that, you know It's something they're gonna really enjoy that you put a lot of effort energy Maybe even money into and you bless somebody else with that gift now the sudden that can be a satisfying feeling You say I'm glad that this person can have something that's nice for them and the Bible saying that we should take the the infirmities We should bear the infirmities of the week. Think of it this way Whenever you take a burden off someone else It's going to be a burden upon you Now this is happens very practically you see someone walk in the building They have two boxes in their hand and you say hey, can I grab one of those? What are you doing? You're taking the burden off of them, but you have to carry that burden now Okay, and that's not gonna be fun. It'd be you know more enjoyable not to have to carry something But when you take that burden off someone else you're helping them you're bearing that load Now here's another way you could look at this Maybe your wife's carrying two children and you could grab the heavier one now you're lessening her burden You're taking a burden off of her and you're helping her and assisting her but guess what? You are going to be burdened and in order for you to take burdens off other people you have to be burdened This is why the Pharisees were hypocrites. They didn't want to lift anything with their finger Remember that verse they're not willing to lift anything with their feet Why because they're not willing to take any burden off anybody else because it's inconvenient If you want to help people it's inconvenient It's gonna hurt. It's not fun. It's gonna take away from things that you like. It's not gonna be pleasurable. It's a burden He's not saying like take the other ice cream Take the other soda pop, you know, it's you're taking something that's negative and you know with some people they get really burdened They have a lot of burdens on them They have a lot of things they have to do and when someone comes along and says hey, let me take that from you Let me carry that one it actually assists them it makes them feel better and that's the type of attitude We should have we should try to take burdens off of other people good Isaiah chapter 53 Isaiah chapter 53 You know modeled this the best the Lord Jesus Christ because he's always our perfect illustration, isn't it? Isaiah 53 look at verse 3 the Bible says he is despised and rejected of men a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief and We hid as it were our faces from him. He was despised and we esteemed him not verse 4 surely hath borne our griefs and Carried our sorrows yet. We did esteem him stricken smitten of God and afflicted, but he was wounded for our transgressions He was bruised for our iniquities the chastisement of our peace is upon him and with his stripes We're here. So notice the Bible literally explicitly says that Jesus Christ bore our Griefs our griefs our pain our afflictions Jesus Christ took them off of us and put them on Now think about how this works practically when you sin There's a lot of grief with that sin When you realize what you've done is wrong and you realize God is mad at you for your sin There's a lot of grief to that sin if Jesus Christ didn't pay for all of your sins There would be a lot of grief still attached to you you'd be like, how am I gonna get right with God? How am I gonna get this off? But because of Jesus Christ's sacrifice you can just get on your knees and say thank you Jesus Christ for bearing my grief And you know what? You can have new mercy every morning. Can't you? Think about that. He's constantly willing to take off the grease You know what? I don't stand here this morning and I think about every sin that I've ever committed all the grief that's associated with it Because I can find grace in Jesus Christ I can find grace, um God now go if you would to Ephesians chapter number six Ephesians chapter number six. Jesus Christ's purpose on this earth was about us His concern was for us not for himself Jesus Christ was not concerned for himself And if you are concerned for others, it will be demonstrated in your actions. Think about James chapter number two How can you say that you love somebody? I'll just be warmed and filled and just send them out Are you really taking concern for them? No, if you're really concerned for them, then you'll take off your coat and you'll clothe them Then you'll go and you'll make them a meal then you'll bear their burden now when it talks about Ephesians chapter number six. Give me a second to turn there. I'm gonna get in my second point this morning But a true servant leader will contribute to others He will contribute to others So first of all, you need to be concerned with people but not just worried about them You need to actually do something about it Think about James chapter 2. It doesn't really count that you're concerned, but you don't do anything Hey, I'm really burdened for you brother Let's say I walk somebody walks in and they have it. They have two boxes man. That looks really heavy That'd be nice if someone could carry that for you Or they say they carry the two boxes and then they set them both down and like do you need some help Hey, I'll call someone and see if they can help you Hey, I'll put out a billboard to see if someone can help you. Hey, are you hungry? Well McDonald's is open You know, is that really Contributing do you really are you how concerned are you at that point? Right? Well, I told them where they could go get food Well, I tried to ask somebody else to help them, you know, that's not really going to cut it is it Ephesians chapter 6 look at verse number 4 And he fathers provoked not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord so fathers are instructed to bring up their children in nurture and Admonition meaning that they have to invest time effort and energy into their children They have to actually contribute to their children. Hey, what's way one way that you contribute? How about holding them? That's nurture, you know, it's nurturing being held, you know It's not being nurtured is being pushed aside Being pushed away when your kid comes up to you and says I can't hold you get away from me That's not nurturing nurturing is holding them embracing them giving them attention telling them that you love them You know, at least I could say this my father He always would try to tell his children how much he loved them and he would show a lot of affection Towards his children and I appreciate that. I appreciate that. He would take the effort and energy to do this Especially since a lot of men are going to be a primary disciplinarian Sometimes they have to be kind of strict with their children It's nice to balance that with love with nurture so they don't get a weird picture of God Look God the Father does not just bring the law on her head every time we screw up He brings a lot of grace and mercy and he's constantly extending his love towards us and that's the type of father we should be to our children one that has a great balance of punishment and nurturing chastisement and Admonition love love them in every area of your life Now go to 2nd Corinthians chapter number 2 or 12. I'm sorry 2nd Corinthians chapter number 12 one way that you can do this by holding your children and Don't worry about how well you're being followed in this world Worry about how great you're leading You know, if you're a leader in a position don't worry about Being served worry about how well you're serving others and Contributing to others that's going to be a picture of a leader what they're doing for other people you know when I think about going to faith-forward Baptist Church when I would sit in the service I Did not sit there and just ignore the fact that my family was sitting next to me. I Would not just be like well, that's your response. Here you go. Whoo You know He's acting up again, you know, I was thinking no I can deal with the kids too now Obviously, it's not just all my responsibility. It's not all her responsibility There's give and take you know, a lot of times she would go to the mother baby room I would sit with the older ones and whenever they would get out of control, you know what I would do I would take them to the bathroom and I would spank them And you know what fixes problems spanking your children? The rod of Correction now we need to bring up in nurture and admonition, but you'd also need discipline today Now look at 2nd Corinthians chapter 12. Look at verse number 14. The Bible says Behold the third time I am ready to come to you and I will not be burdensome to you or I seek not yours But you for the children not not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children notice that the Apostle Paul Doesn't want to be burdensome unto his children No, he wants to be burdened for his children. And this is spiritually now. How is he burdened for his children? Well, he's going out of the way to work hard He's going out of the way to come into them and to preach unto them and to discipline them Apostle Paul has a lot of discipline in his chapters in his books, especially 2nd Corinthians It's a it's a buck kicking. You asked me go to mark chapter number 10 mark chapter number 10 But We need to hold our children and love them and not just love them but also be willing to discipline them now look at mark chapter number 10 and Look at verse number 13 It's talking about Jesus Christ and it says they brought young children to him that he should touch them and his disciples Rebuked those that brought them but when Jesus saw it he was much displeased and said unto them suffer the little children to come unto me and Forbid them not for of such as the kingdom of God merely I say unto you whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God As a little child shall not enter therein and he took them up in his arms put his hands on them and bless them Now Jesus Christ can hold children while he's preaching than I can Right. I mean he's saying hey don't turn the kids away. Let the kids come unto me Jesus Christ took up the children in his arms, and he's still talking with his disciples. He puts his hands on them He prays for them. He blesses the little children We need to spend time with the children in love but also in discipline go to Proverbs chapter number one Proverbs chapter number one and Whether you realize it or not Discipline is a service Discipline is a service people want to know how to improve in any area of their life. They need discipline they need Chastisement they need some kind of correction Instruction people pay all kinds of money for instruction Well in some ways it can be discipline in some ways. It can be told you're doing something wrong I know that if I go to a preaching class if I go and I'm going to preach for someone and learn how to preach better I want them to give me criticism so that I can get better as a preacher and That's a service that someone's doing for you You're saying hey, this wasn't very good here, or this wasn't quite right or here's a way to improve in this in this way That's good. That's a benefit unto them and as a good leader. You're gonna be able to provide the service of discipline Especially to your children now as a father Some people would think well my wife disciplines the children Yep, let's let the Bible sink into our ears for a moment Proverbs chapter 1 look verse 8 my son hear the instruction of thy Father and forsake not the law of thy mother look at chapter 3 verse 12 For whom the Lord loveth he corrected even as a father The son and whom he delighted look at chapter 4 verse 1 here you children the instruction of a father And attend to no Understanding look at chapter 6 look at verse number 20 My son keep thy father's Commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother go to chapter 13 go to chapter 30. I feel like there's a theme here Who's the primary disciplinarian in Proverbs? The father the father is the one giving the commandment the father is the one giving instruction The father is the one that's disciplining his children. Let me give you even more proof Proverbs chapter 13 look at verse 24 he he He that spareth his rod hateth his son But he that loveth him chasing at him at times notice. There's kind of a pronoun there he Who is he getting on to for not punishing the children the father? He him his his child Notice that the father needs to discipline the children not just the mother hey the mother Amen, you know what the dad needs to discipline the children the dad needs to set the model set the example How is a wife gonna know how to discipline her children when she doesn't see the husband doing when she doesn't see the father doing it? He's gonna set up the model and then let me I'll be honest There's been times where I discipline my children or I'm I know that my wife wouldn't She was like, I don't know that seemed really harsh and I'm like They need to get punished but then she can grow and develop and realize hey, this is the appropriate time to punish You know, she looks at James and she just thinks who could punish him Just look how cute he is. Just look how precious he is You know, we had this saying we in our house who would say we never spank James We would tell that to the kids just because he was really little he's like six months and they're getting punished Anytime James would do something wrong at six months. They're like spanking, you know, here's the spoon And we were like we never spank James but we were just kind of you know, obviously that's not forever that's not permanent It was just kind of a cutesy saying but it's it's true that a woman sometimes can be more empathetic It's easier for her to look and be like, oh you're so precious. Oh, you're so, you know cute Oh, it's not that big a deal But hey when James is climbing up on the fireplace and can really hurt himself. He needs to get punished When he's doing things that are dangerous he needs to be told no, he needs to be spanked. Otherwise, he's gonna hurt himself I'm not just wanting to hurt him. I'm not wanting to discipline him I'm not wanting to do things that are negative towards him, but you know what as a service to him. I Disciplined as a service to your family. You must chase in your children You must discipline your children go to first Corinthians chapter number nine first Corinthians chapter number nine And I'll say this I don't want to spank my children I Don't sit there and think like yes whoo finally You try to give a lot of excuses Why not to you try to find reasons not to have to or not to want to? But you just got a man up and you just got to do it and be consistent with it Because you should love your children. The Bible says when you don't discipline your children you hate them How can you be a good leader if you hate your children if you hate your family you're not first Corinthians chapter 9 Look at verse number 11 the Bible reads If we have sown in you spiritual things, is it a great thing? We shall reap your carnal things if others be partakers of this power over you are not we rather nevertheless We've not used this power but suffer all things less we should hinder the gospel of Christ and the Apostle Paul He's bringing up the concept of a pastor or minister being paid being paid for their service and he makes it abundantly clear That it's more than justified to pay the ministers of God. In fact, that's the point of a lot of verses in the Bible He's saying Thus God care for oxen and he's like no he cares for the ministers of God's Word But what I want to pick out of this story is this Even though the Apostle Paul is entitled to being paid Even though he's it's within his realm of authority to take a paycheck He decides not to he decides to suffer So as for what reason to benefit them To help them. Okay. Now, let me liken this onto the household and I'm making a lot of application this morning to the household But in my house, there is a very specific Specific division of labor Very specific we have this already ironed out who's responsible for all cooking my wife When it comes to responsibilities wife you say who's responsible for cooking my wife 100% for groceries 100% Household goods 100% cleaning 100% laundry 110% Okay child rearing 100% schooling 100% child needs 100% laundry 100. I had that twice. I needed in there twice. Okay? ironing 100% haircuts 100% grooming 100% look there's Specific job duties that my wife has and you say what percentage a hundred percent all of it You say who's responsible getting all those things done my wife period but just because That is a hundred percent her responsibility does not mean that I don't do those things Just like the Apostle Paul. He has complete authority to take a paycheck He decided not to but to suffer a little bit what for their benefit to model for them an example of saying You know what, even though I don't have to do that or vice-versa I choose to and this is a great way to model your house. Let me tell you why If you do not have a very specific division of labor then it's hard to identify when you help the other person If it's always a 50-50 partnership Then they'll net they'll never be this feeling like you're ever going across the aisle to help your spouse and vice-versa Now just because she has her side doesn't mean I don't have my side. Guess what's on my side a hundred percent of the money 100% of bad guys that come in the house. I Take out the trash I take out all cut, you know, physically and spiritually, okay 100% my job, you know what? I don't look and say we're a little short on money. You need to go out and get a job. I Don't say hey, I got this deadline at work sermon I Don't know like hey you I got some drywall will you go hang into the new church building? Hey, we and obviously there are some times where there's been a task that I need to get done and I could ask my wife To help me with that or to assist me with that. But you know what? There's no expectation there She's not expecting to do that and it would be wrong for me to expect that of her she's coming across the aisle to help me and I can do the exact same if Jesus Christ can wash his disciples feet Then I can help my wife Then I can cook a meal every once in a while then I can clean something every once in a while Then I can help fold the laundry. That's about as good as you know, as I'm gonna help there All right, I can take care of certain things, you know, sometimes I sit down with the kids and I do the schooling I Sit there and read a book to the kids. I help them with their education I try to encourage them to do certain things. I take care of the kids. I rear the children I just you know all these different areas that may be a hundred percent of responsibility I can come across the aisle and I can help her But let me say this it's never expected of me and vice-versa Just like I expect her to make zero dollars every year She should expect me to help her zero in any of those areas And when you have those clear boundaries those clear guidelines, you can actually see how each other We can serve one another and a picture of a good marriage is a husband serving his wife and a wife serving her husband This is a good picture also if I don't have clear boundaries for my wife, okay such as these areas Then if she only gets these things done or less than that Here's my question. Is she doing above her reasonable service? Think about Romans chapter 12 where Jesus Christ is saying we're supposed to be living sacrifices are living as a reasonable service You know, oh god, I'm going to church. Well, that's a reasonable service Well, I read the Bible once a while That's less than a reasonable service Right, you should have certain expectations and certain boundaries so then you can go above and beyond What those expectations are if you don't have expectations if you don't have boundaries in your life How are you gonna ever succeed? Imagine I hire an employee imagine you work for a company and they give you no expectations No clear guidelines for your job, then how can you know if you're doing good or not? How could you get a bonus? It's just expected every single. I mean you got to work 80 hours a week. Imagine you're on salary for 40 hours a week But you're working 80 don't you want a little maybe extra recognition for working that extra? But what if they didn't have that what if they said there is no expectation and you work 80 and they're like, well, this sounds good Let's just keep doing that. I've worked for companies. It wasn't me, but I worked for companies where there was an employee I mean he worked 80 hours a week. He was basically like five employees and one I Mean he did all their programming. He did all their network administration. He did all their server room control I mean if you worked for another company you'd have like four or five guys doing all the jobs he was doing and he got paid the salary of one person and I kept tell my boss. I'm like You need to pay this guy like a double salary or you're gonna lose him and guess what he lost them Now he works for a company where if he goes above the 40 hours It's like seen as a great thing not as an expectation to work 80 hours a week Right, and if you do that to your wife, if you don't have clear expectations or clear guidelines, how can she feel? Okay with her job How can she feel comfortable in her job? And how can you help her? You need a clear separation of labor and let me say this serving does not threaten your authority Serving does not threaten your authority Jesus Christ after washing his disciples feet didn't have to get up and be like now I'm the boss, right? I'm still the boss and look it's not even hard to picture imagine at your job Your boss comes in and he sees a task that you're doing and you're not doing it very good And he takes over and starts doing your job for you Are you thinking like now? I'm the boss. I Must be the manager because he's doing my job No, you're thinking you might get fired You're thinking like uh-oh You're thinking like am I not doing things? Satisfactory or at least if he just says hey, I just want to help out then you feel closer to the person So imagine your wife if you come and step in and help out. She's not thinking like well now I'm in charge That's silly She knows who's in charge. If you're in charge, you don't have to tell people You don't have to tell people things that are true That are obviously true if you're in charge you don't have to go around telling everybody in charge Hey, if you're a man, you don't have to go around telling everybody your man Right if you have to tell somebody your man, it's because it's questionable You're like sir, man. It's a sir. You're like, okay You know, I don't have to wonder about things that are evident right, you know, if it's something that's evident I I just want to let you know I really love you Why do you have to keep telling me that because it's not evident through their actions when it's evident through your actions You don't have to go around and tell everybody about I'm the one in charge. I'm the one that's doing these things I'm the person that it shows a level of insecurity Sometimes you do have to point out certain facts because people get too far out of the boundary But at the end of the day if you're over exerting your authority if you're over talk, I mean if my wife disagrees with me I don't have to be like I'm in charge I'm the one that makes the rules here. Call me Lord now, you know You know, it's okay for her to disagree every once in a while I've been around people and it's like their wife is just not like in a thousand percent submission and they're like now I'm the one in charge, right? Remember, I'm the one that's leading and I'm just thinking like no you're not you have to tell her that and If you're so threatened for her just disagreeing with you on something it bizarre my friend Look at 1st Corinthians chapter 11 look at verse number 9 now on about this I want to give you a good picture here. But look at verse number 9 the Bible says Neither was the man created for the woman but the woman for the man When it comes to biblical roles The wife's job is to serve her husband. She is his help me It couldn't be further or it couldn't be clearer in the Bible. In fact, she's not even created for the man But think about this way, okay Jesus Christ does not exist for me. I Exist for Jesus Christ. I'm here to serve him and I'm to worship him and to praise him But you know what? That does not mean that Jesus Christ can't serve me because he does And he did so just because my wife's job is to serve me a hundred percent does not mean I can't serve her back Does not mean I can't return the favor and do good unto her as well I Want to I want to lead so that my wife can follow but here's the thing my decisions Should just be in concern for me. Sometimes I make decisions and concern for her He's to go be good for her not just for me Moses in the book of Exodus he said that he wasn't gonna leave a hoof behind was he The Bible says not a hoof be left behind. So what was he thinking about there? Was he thinking about well I can go serve God Or is he thinking no, I want everyone to come with me every woman every boy every girl and so sometimes when you lead you have to think about leading on softly like Jacob did and think about what your Family can handle think about where they need to go, you know, the ship is going to the green pastors Maybe the Shepherd doesn't want to go there. Maybe the Shepherd wants to go on a rock climb But the sheep can't handle that so he's gonna take him to the green pastors Right. He's not necessarily concerned about himself be concerned about the flock and where he's gonna go We need to contribute to our family and lead them to the right place. I want my whole family serving God not just me And let me give you some practical pictures here. My wife is an incredible singer Like she has a very talented voice. She's very gifted in that area And so when I was at faithful word Baptist Church, we were doing him creations like we're CDs We were making all these hemp CDs. Hey, you know what instead of me? I did a few of them, but I'm not that great You know, I can get the job done, but there's nothing special instead of me always doing it. Let her do it You say well what happened with the kids? I watched them. I Watched all the kids while she got to go and sing and make these beautiful hymns You know despite a few people but She was she was singing it great. Okay. She was doing a really good job She's a really talented and gifted singer and why would I want to hold her back from being able to minister in that way? You know and my wife she's a good soul winner My wife she's really gifted in music. My wife can help men. My wife can help with baby showers My wife can help with a meal train But you know what in order for her To serve in those capacities many times. I have to take her job responsibilities I have to come in. I have to feed the kids. I Have to hold them or I have to take care of them. I have to watch them It may not be to the same quality. We all know that but I need to get the job done so that she can serve You know, I try to stay home with the kids on to so she can go so winning. I I Make the kids lunch. Sometimes I do these different things. I try to help out I get groceries for her I do all these things why so that he also served who? Thing about her serving And if you're good leader, you also have to serve those that are under you You You're just a lord in the Gentile way you need to help your wife also enjoy life It's not just about you getting served you can help your wife enjoy life by serving her By doing good things for her, you know, it's easier to submit to a leader who's concerned for you and contributes to you It's hard to serve someone that does not have any concern for you and never contributes anything to you That's a difficult relationship. That's a slave relationship And I've seen this and in that independent fundamental Baptist churches mostly with heretics false prophets But they treat their wives like slave girls They expect all the lists that I showed you and nothing in return. They think well, I'm the leader Well, I'm the one in charge, well, I'm the one that makes decisions around here and I'm just thinking like you're a bad leader Yeah, and hey if your husband's not perfect if he's not firing on all cylinders here you keep your mouth shut and you keep doing it, you know, women should expect nothing and appreciate everything Women should expect nothing and appreciate Everything and you know what makes me stop wanting to help my wife when she stops appreciate me coming across the aisle Hey, if I come across the aisle and I make a dinner if I come across the aisle and I help out with the kids Hey, if I come across the aisle and I do school Hey, if I come across the aisle and I'm doing something and she's not appreciative of it It causes me to not want to do it. It causes me to not want to help in any more ways Now I'm not saying I should stop but I'm saying that's the feeling that you get and it caused you not want to help Look you married him And let me say this the less you complain the more they want to serve you notice Moses was done serving the children of Israel when they did what when they complained. Oh They complain he's like you you carry them you Feed them you take care of them, you know, if you have to watch someone else's kid As long as they're behaving themselves It's not that big a deal But as soon as they start throwing a fit as soon as they start acting like a brat, you're like, here's your kid back You don't want to deal with them anymore Okay, go to Revelation chapter 3 Revelation chapter number 3 my first point a Servant leader love concern for others point. Number two is a servant leader will contribute To others and my last point is a true servant leader will counsel others. They will counsel Others now in Revelation chapter number three. We have the counsel of the Lord Jesus Christ into the churches Look what it says in verse 17 Because thou sayest I'm rich and increased with goods and have need of nothing and know it's not thou Wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire Thou mayest be rich and white raiment that thou mayest be clothed and that the shame with thy nakedness do not appear And anoint thine eyes thyself to thou mayest see now Here's the thing when you're concerned with somebody and you're helping them you're contributing to them There's going to be sometimes a point when you realize they have a problem A point when you realize they're not doing something well, and you need to counsel them to fix that area If my wife's not being appreciative, I need to counsel her and say hey, this is your responsibility I'm just helping out you need to appreciate these things and not complain about them Hey, if I see an area where my wife's not getting the job done. I need a counselor to get it done Hey, if I see my children not behaving well I need to counsel them and encourage them to do the right things a true leader will counsel you And tell you where you're wrong and try to give you good advice and try to improve you not a flatterer What does a flatterer do a flatter just says everything you're doing is good Good sermon Good job. You're great. You're wonderful. That's not a good. That's not a good leader A good leader is going to identify the problems that you have How to get them better how to do them, right Say well, you're always giving me this, you know advice. Yeah, it's because I love that person Yeah, because I'm trying to counsel you I'm trying to help you so that you can become better We need to give people this advice because sometimes people need to be put in their place this church needed to be put in its place and Jesus Christ since he leads by perfect example. He has the ability to do this Go to 1st Corinthians chapter 10 1st Corinthians 10 now, let me say this In order to give good counsel that's going to be taken heed of you need to pull the beam out of your own eye So that you can remove the remote of those under you if you truly want your followers to take heed to your counsel You can't be a hypocrite You can't be one that has all these glaring issues that you're not dealing with for yourself To then try and help others deal with their issues. You don't want to listen to somebody Do we want to find the most sinful person and have them come up here and try and tell us what to do? No, you want to find someone that's doing good. That's a good example That's leading correctly and have them instruct you have them counsel you that's why the Bible even has qualifications for a pastor He's supposed to be the example you say in what area all How is he supposed to be an example imagine this some people get all offended By the fact that I believe that a pastor has to actually have two kids that are faithful To be qualified. They're like, oh, yeah, who has that and I'm like How am I supposed to get up here and tell you how to hold your kid when I can't do it? How am I supposed to discipline your kids I don't have kids How am I supposed to tell you how to love your wife when I don't have one the Catholic predator priest? Get up and tell you what to do. You don't want a leader like that. You don't want a manager like that You know a lot of times these politicians It's a good criticism. They'll say they're a lifelong politician. They don't know anything about business They don't know anything about the real world. They've never actually struggled. They don't actually live a normal life They've just had a silver spoon in their mouth for all of their days. And so they're a bad example They're a bad person to lead our country or to give advice You know, there's those that do and there's those that teach and those that teach can't do many cases. I Don't want to go to a college where every college professor is this long-haired hippie That doesn't do anything That doesn't believe anything to tell you, you know is an atheist and then gonna tell me how to run a business It's like what business did you run? Sweet bro Hey, there's no God, right? It's like I'm not interested in learning from you. Look a lot of these teachers are a fake. They're phony And they're like, oh I should have gone in geology man, then I could told you about some rocks Look the geology professors all look like stoners All of them. I mean, they're just this one geology professor I had he had the same shirt in every color and it was just birds. I don't know It was weird just this bird shirt that he had and he was a complete stoner. Look They I don't even know if they believe what they're saying Yeah, the paleozoic zone and the Jurassic, you know geologic time zone and there's some rocks You know, this is a brown rock. This is a black rock with some brown in it so interesting Like nobody cares It's a stupid a hundred billion years ago. It's like you don't know a hundred million years ago It's such a stupid philosophy. Look I would rather learn from somebody that's done something that's successful at something And you know in academia their success rate is just based on what percentage of people pass their classes Hey, if you have a high success rate as far as a pass fail Then that's good in some colleges If you fail more people that's good in some colleges some colleges want you to fail like 60 You know some odd percentage of your students some want you to pass a high percentage of the students It's all but it's just based on their own vain philosophy. Look we should learn from people that do Find someone that's a good example and do what they're doing find someone that's been married for a really long time and ask them Hey How come you guys seem to have a really good marriage? What do you do or look at their actions? Look at how they treat their spouse. I guarantee they sit with their spouse. They talk to their spouse. They hang out with their spouse They're kind and affectionate towards their spouse. They serve their spouse You can't be sir You can't live with another person for 20 30 years and never serve them and expect to stay married Expect to have a happy marriage. It's just not going to happen Now possible Paul He is a model example of those who sacrifice look at just chapter 8 and look at verse 13 He says wherefore if I make my meat if I make my brother to offend I will eat no flesh While the world stand is lest I make my brother sent the Apostle Paul was so committed to serving other people he wouldn't eat meat I'm thinking Paul. I'm not with you on this one. You're too spiritual for me He's like I won't eat any flesh. I won't have any steak or chicken or burgers or bacon or anything. It's just like man You're you got to be the first generation to get into bacon. You got to take advantage of that that bacon opportunity He also we already talked about this, but he wasn't willing to even take a payment a paycheck He had to work a double shift talk about a personal sacrifice. Look at chapter 9 verse 19 For though I be free from all men yet have I made myself servant unto all that I might gain the more So the impossible have to serve anyone. Nope It's free from every single person, but then he chose to serve, you know as the husband of the home You know what? You're a free No one tells you what to do. You're the the king of the castle You have complete control complete dominion No one can tell you what to do But you could still choose to serve You could still choose to be a servant Now your boss will tell you what to do but I'm just saying and you're home you're the king and Obviously we need to you know, we have respect with the higher powers But my third point is a servant leader is going to counsel people so you need to be this good example And the Apostle Paul is such a good example and in the same book the same letter He's giving counsel after counsel instruction after instruction. He's criticizing them. He's rebuking them He's exhorting them and let me tell you this your exhortation and rebuke is gonna sink in well when you serve that person When you don't serve people they don't take kindly to rebuke They don't take kindly to the exhortation They don't take kindly to the council that you give them if you want people to take heed to your council you have to serve them You have to love them. You have to appreciate them. You have to be concerned for them you have to contribute to them so that you can then counsel them and When you get all those things, right? They can actually follow that counsel say, oh then my wife never wants to follow my counsel. Well, do you lead by example? Are you the one that's really contributing because if you don't if you're not taking time to expound your wife and develop them and encourage them to serve God you can be the cap or the limit on their spiritual growth a Husband can cap or limit his family's spiritual growth you decide if you're coming to church for the most part Well, how many church service are you gonna take them to how much opportunity they have to learn the Bible to grow to fellowship to Serve God you can a lot of times determine if they're gonna get to go soul-winning you can determine If they're gonna get involved in the ministries of the church Hey, my wife's this great pianist or my wife's this great violinist or my wife can play the trumpet or whatever Hey, are you allowing her to do that? Are you trying to serve her? Are you trying to contribute to her? Are you trying to counsel her on how to serve God to the best of her ability as well? You know if you won't take your family to church, you're limiting your kids Spiritual growth you're limiting your family's spiritual growth if you're not sitting them down and teaching them the Bible You're limiting their spiritual growth Now obviously a wife can be more spiritual than her husband But sometimes that husband drag his wife down can cause her not to serve God to the fullest of her ability I want my family to serve God to the fullest of their ability I want to get out of the way. I want to invest time and energy you say Well, I'm not that interested in church. Maybe your wife is Maybe your kids are go to church for them Take them out so winning take them to serve the lot read the Bible for their benefit not your benefit You know I don't read kids books for my benefit. I Don't need green eggs and ham you know I'm good I Don't need you know to wear a hat or whatever. I don't need any of these things Hop on pop that sounds dangerous, okay? I Don't need these kid books these kids story. I read them for their benefit Why don't you serve God for their benefit? And I'll be honest that was probably my own main motivation For trying to learn the Bible was for my kids sake I thought you know what if I don't learn the Bible if I don't Take my kids to the church if I don't do these things. How are they going to serve God? And I think about all the opportunities. I missed out as a child, and I think well I don't want to repeat that with my kids. I want them to get the fullest experience of God. I can possibly give them Go to first Peter chapter 5 last place. I'll be turned first Peter chapter 5 We need to be concerned for others we need to contribute to others we need to counsel others And I don't care what capacity you're in you're a leader if you're a man in this room There's gonna be people that follow you there's gonna be people that look up to you There's gonna be people that you can lead that you can guide and you should take that responsibility Seriously look at the first Peter chapter 5 verse number 1 The elders which are among you I exhort I'm also an elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ and also partaker of the glory that shall be revealed Feed the flock of God just among you taking the oversight there of not by constraint, but willingly not for filthy lucre But a ready mind neither is being Lord's over God's heritage, but being in samples to the flock So the Bible says that you're not supposed to be a lord Over God's heritage so a pastor is not to look at the position of a pastor as one of being served but rather serving Now think with me another verse Psalms 127 it talks about children lo children are the heritage of the Lord so, you know who's also not supposed to be a lord over God's heritage a father a Father is to be one to sacrifice for his children to lay down his life The Bible says that a husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it Is that how you view your relationship with your wife? Why My wife serves me. I'm the Lord. I'm the king I'm the one in charge here or are you looking at like I lay down my life for her I lay down my life for my family. I'm not gonna be a lord over God's heritage rather. I'm going to serve God's heritage I'm gonna look at them and say how can I bless them? What if I said as a pastor? I'm so glad I got all these people to serve me You would get sick and tired of that Because I have lots of demands. I'm just kidding You want a pastor that's gonna serve you, right? You want a pastor that's gonna love you. You know what you want. You want a father that's gonna serve you You want a father that's gonna love you and say well, I'm worried about my career or I'm worried about my kids career I'm worried about my spiritual walk or my kids spiritual walk. I'm worried about my pleasure Their pleasure and obviously we're not gonna ever go outside the laws of God, but at the end of the day You as the man know what's better for your family than they do And so we should be servant leaders. Let's close in prayer. Thank you father so much for your word Thank you for this great example you set for us Thank you for the service that your son the Lord Jesus Christ did so that we could learn by his example I pray that we would take the responsibilities that you've given us the opportunities to lead That we would take them seriously that we'd have concern for others We contribute to others and we could counsel others out of a good and pure conscience in Jesus name we pray. Amen