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Go tell it on the mountain. Let's sing it out. Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it on the mountain, that Jesus Christ is born. While shepherds kept their watching, for silent flocks by night. Behold throughout the heavens, there shone a holy light. Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it on the mountain, that Jesus Christ is born. The shepherds feared and trembled, when lo, above the earth, rang out the angel chorus, that hailed our Savior's birth. Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it on the mountain, that Jesus Christ is born. Down in a lowly manger, the humble Christ was born. And God sent a salvation, that blessed Christmas morn. Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere. Go tell it on the mountain, that Jesus Christ is born. Good morning. Thank you so much for coming to Steadfast Baptist Church. If you did not already get a bulletin, please lift up your hand nice and high. One of our ushers would love to come by and get you guys a bulletin. On the front we have our Bible memory passage, Psalm 146. We're on verse number 5. And if you want help working on these, you can always sing them. So that's another good way to kind of work on these. And we put this one to music. And we're going to be singing that today. So also on the inside we have our service and soul winning times. We have our church stats down below. And then on the right hand side, we have our list of expecting ladies. We have our prayer list. Continue to keep everybody in your prayers. On the back, a couple special announcements. Christmas day, we're going to be having a Texas brisket lunch, courtesy of brother Ryan Urbanic. And I'm also going to try to help him with that as well. But he's at least bringing food so you can know there's something to eat. No, I'm just kidding. And then if you'd like to help, just bring a side dish or dessert. That'd be great. So the church can provide some rolls, some brisket, drinks, everything like that. So if you guys, obviously that's all you need. But if you would like to also help with other kind of side dishes or whatever you like to eat, you can bring that. And if you bring chili with beans, I don't have to have any. So that's no problem, all right? Also, this Wednesday, and I had not announced it prior to, but we still wanted to do this. We wanted to have our Christmas cookie bake off. And so this Wednesday, I know you don't normally come, but we're starting a new book of the Bible. We're going to be doing Hosea chapter one. So it'll be nice and encouraging. And then that was a joke for some of you, OK? Obviously, y'all need to learn what Hosea is about. Wednesday, we're going to be having our Christmas cookie bake off. And the church is going to provide drinks, so again, like soda, milk, everything like that. But if you want to bring some cookies to enter in, again, it's a competition. So you don't have to technically care about winning or anything like that if you just want to bring some cookies. But for those that are interested in competing, you're automatically approved to be into the competition. We'll end up voting. Now, the voting is everyone. So you've got to impress these children, all right? They don't have sophisticated palettes or necessarily a viewpoint. So it's all up for game. It's all for grabs. But everybody gets to vote. This is our one time of year where everyone gets to vote. You get to vote on cookies, all right? And we have three categories, best decorated, best tasting, and most creative. Now, how this works is you can enter as many cookies as you want, as far as different kinds. And you can win all three categories. So I mean, there's nothing stopping you from having the best decorated, best tasting, and most creative cookie. I think last year when we did it, someone unique won every single category. But of course, it's plausible. The categories are kind of, to give you an idea, best decorated means it was really skillful design. The colors, it looks really sharp. Something that you'd buy at the store or some kind of professional made it. Best tasting is pretty obvious that it tastes really good. And that's the most important category. Number three is it's creative. Sometimes people make some really cool looking stuff or have a unique idea. And so whatever people dream up, they can come and bring it. And we had some amazing cookies last year. Some of the cookies were beyond impressive. And so it's a great time to come to church and to hang out and to hear Hosea preached, apparently, for some of you. All right, a couple other announcements. We will be moving out of this building by the end of the year. And so just everybody that wants to know where we're going to be meeting, you need to be on our email list. And you pretty much should already know if you are or not. Because we send out emails all the time on a regular basis about church. So if you're not on our email list, you can fill out a communication card and give it to one of our ushers now. Who needs one? Who needs the? Yeah, there we go. So get them a communication card or everything like that. And so I don't know what to tell you except for just you need to be on the list. And then we'll tell you where we're going. Because it might be completely different locations every single service. And so just to give you an FYI on that. I do want to make a couple other quick announcements off the record if Jacob's going to help me with that. Psalm 146. Psalm 146. Psalm 146. Psalm 146. Psalm 146. Psalm 146. Psalm 146. All right. While the offering plates are being passed around, please turn your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter number 2. 1 Timothy chapter number 2. You You First Timothy chapter 2 the Bible reads I exhort therefore that prayers intercessions and giving of thanks be made for all men for kings and for all that are in authority that we may lead a Quiet and peaceable life and all godliness and honesty for this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior Who will have all men to be saved and to come unto the knowledge of the truth? for there is one God and one mediator between God and men the man Christ Jesus who gave himself a Ransom for all to be testified in due time where unto I am ordained a preacher and an apostle I speak the truth in Christ and lie not a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and Verity I will therefore that men pray everywhere Lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting and like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest Apparel with shame face adness and sobriety not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array But which becometh women professing godliness with good works Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man But to be in silence for Adam was first formed then Eve and Adam was not deceived But the woman being deceived was in the transgression Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing for Check that if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. Let's pray father God We thank you for our church service this morning and I pray that you fill pastor Shelley with the Holy Ghost and Enable him to preach his sermon with boldness and give him clarity of mind help us to pay attention and Lord soften hearts in the room to receive this message and Apply it to their lives in Jesus name. I pray. Amen. Amen. So we're in 2nd Timothy or 1st Timothy chapter 2 verses 11 and If you look there verse 11 again, the Bible says let the woman learn in silence with all subjection But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man But to be in silence and the Bible teaches that men are supposed to be an authority Over women and that women are not allowed to usurp authority Over the man now, of course first Timothy chapter number two is is certainly within a religious context it's within a church context and That's of course, you know what the Bible's talking about when it says teach here It's talking about teaching the Bible teaching the Word of God, but this principle also Carries forward to just every area of life where the woman and in this essence It's talking about a husband and wife. The wife is not to usurp authority over her husband But what's a really important part of this verse is the very first part where it says but I suffer not a woman And the reality is that men should not allow women to usurp their authority and So what the Bible clearly teaches is that men are supposed to tell their wives what to do Now here's the problem. We could already go home. I mean we already read the verse Men, tell your wives what to do. I also I could read the verse that says hey wives obey your husbands and everything You know and then we could just go home right but here's the reality the reality is that many men struggle in this area of telling their wives what to do and Their wives obeying what they tell them to do Okay And so the title of my sermon this morning is this how to tell Your wife what to do how to tell your wife what to do because of course, you know It should just be open your mouth say what you want and let's go home but for whatever reason we live in a fallen state we live in a sinful world and Oftentimes women are not obeying their husband and they're not doing what their husband says and I see a lot of men That want to do the right thing and they want to tell their wife what to do But their wife just is not following their lead The wife is not obeying the voice of the husband and I have three Points this morning. I have three tips I have three ways to help you to get your wife to obey and I believe if You are succeeding in all three areas. This will always work This will always work and the reason why your wife is not Doing what you tell her to do is because you're failing in one of these three areas that I'm going to talk about this morning Now I want to say this, of course, no woman's gonna be perfect No wife will always do everything you say and never make a mistake because we're all human. We're all going to make mistakes We're all gonna fall short But the essence of this is more from a big picture that your wife is trying to basically do everything that you're saying She's going with you in the major life decisions You're able to basically give her instruction and she's gonna generally follow it Obviously never being perfect never doing everything always exactly right. That's reality You also do not follow God's commandments perfectly as a man you often often fall short But generally speaking God looks at us and can still say hey This guy's following my ways and doing right even though he has daily sin daily problems is not always perfect Okay So we want to also guide our wives and guide the women in our lives to do likewise and to follow our lead Now this is so important go to Esther chapter number one Go to Esther chapter one, and I'm gonna turn to a lot of Bible this morning Please please follow along in the Bible because the Bible is what's going to change your heart and mind You know, I can get up here and rant and rave and scream and make a lot of logical sense But often that won't have a lasting impact what has a lasting impact is hearing the words of God ring in your heart and your mind your ears and For that to carry forward with you because if you're saved you have the Holy Spirit And if you have the Holy Spirit inside of you, he will remind you things in the Bible He may not remind you everything I say But he will mind you of everything Christ said and remind you everything that the Bible said and so it's important To see the Word of God to hear the Word of God and let it ring and meditate in your ears now If you want to you want to talk about a constant problem in the Bible It's wives not obeying their husbands and not doing what their husbands say Of course in Esther, it's a it's a pretty big deal because the Bible says here go to verse number 10 it says on the seventh day when the heart of the king is married wine He commanded the human biz the Harbona big the at a bag the Zethar and carcass the seven chamberlains that serve in the presence of a hazardous the king to bring Vashti the queen before the king with the coin the crown royal to show the people and The prince is her beauty for she was fair to look upon so the king is Giving commandment to servants to ask his wife to come and he doesn't even have he's not even telling her directly He's having his servants tell his wife what to do And of course, what should the wife do just obey right just do whatever husband asks of her and it says in verse 12 But the Queen Vashti refused to come at the king's commandment by his chamberlains Therefore the king was Roth or very Roth and his anger burned in him So here we have a picture of a marital dispute now if you've been married this happens, okay I remember going to a group at a church one time me and my wife were in this marriage group and it was kind of like we call life groups or sell groups or something like that and You know it's about it's focused on marriage and improving your marriage everything like that and the leaders kind of talking about how to deal with Conflict and fighting and this one couples just like we've never fought It's like they've been married for multiple years and they weren't saying like we don't fight on a regular basis they were saying they've never fought in their entire marriage and It was just like you're a liar You're either a liar or you don't like each other because if you like each other you're gonna hang out and when you hang out You're gonna have problems. Okay, that's just the reality. You know, if you're not fighting it's because you don't care about each other That's the reality. Okay, so you're gonna have issues. You're gonna have struggles. You're gonna have marital strife Okay, of course in a perfect world Vasti would just be yes my lord and just do whatever but she refused now Here's the problem. This is a big deal because he had seven of his servants seven of his workers Come and tell his wife what to do and she refused in the presence of all of them So it's not like she's disobeying her husband privately She's disobeying her husband publicly for the whole world to see the whole world knows No, I don't do whatever my husband asked me I do whatever I want now Let's see what the Bible says a little bit further. It says in verse 15 What shall we do under the Queen Vasti according to law? Because she has not performed the commandment of the king of hazardous by the Chamberlain's now. This is another thing they're saying, you know Even though she's your wife. There is a law that no one's allowed to disobey the king period like this This you've not only broken the marital bond that you have the marital agreement of husband wife You're breaking the law in a severe way by refusing to obey the king and so they're like, hey What are we gonna do about your wife? She broke the law? She is a criminal she has done something very wicked here and It says a verse 16 and the mute can answer before the king and the princes Vasti the queen have not done wrong to the king But also to all the princes and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the king of hazardous Notice what they said and they're talking about his wife. Can you imagine talking to the king about his wife? Hey, I just want to make sure that you understand your wife didn't burn you She burned us She burned our entire city. She and she did every single Kingdom every single person in the entire world she burned She disrespected and is trying to destroy our entire country all of civilization Mankind as a whole this makes me think of another woman Eve Who destroyed all of mankind with her rebellion with her sin, right? Now, what is this? What does he say? For this deed of the Queen verse 17 shall come abroad unto all women So that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes when it shall be reported the king of hazardous commanded Vasti The Queen to be brought in before him, but she came not he says look if she wins this battle If you just let this go Every single woman in the entire land every woman on the planet will rebel against their husbands, too This is such a big deal Says a verse 18 likewise shall the ladies of Persia and media say this day unto all the king's princes Which have heard of the deed of the Queen thus shall there arise too much content and wrath? too much Look you say how many times does she disobey her husband once you say how many times is it unacceptable once? He said just from one time. It's too much content. It's already too big of a problem And he says this if it pleased the king let there go a royal commandment from him and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the Medes that it be not altered that Vasti come known before King of hazardous and Let the king give her royal estate unto another that is better than she This is severe Okay. Now now here's we have their sin. He ends up kind of like just divorcing his wife in a sense. That's wrong Okay, you don't if your wife does obeys you one time you don't divorce her. Okay, folks That is not the moral of the story and of course this is a spiritual picture of how the children of Israel are pictures Vasti and Because they rebelled against God the Father God had to replace them with someone that's better And you know, it's better than the synagogue of Satan Jews is Christians. And so God replaced the synagogue of Satan, you know Christ rejecting anti-christ with us who believe on Christ or the children of God Okay, and of course, that's the spiritual picture we have in this book, but don't miss the carnal truth here that you cannot allow Rebellion from your wife because it doesn't just ruin your relationship. It ruins every relationship. It touches and it sees You you want to destroy your children's relationships allow your wife to just run shot over you And I'll tell you when there's a public spat When there is a public issue where it's clear the husband wants a and the wife wants B Let me tell you something as a man You never ever ever ever let her win never Because you're gonna destroy all kinds of other relationships and you're gonna allow other women to think Oh, well, we can rebel against our husbands, too And look as a man as a man I suffer not a woman to teach nor usurp authority over the man That's what the Apostle Paul said Hey, I'm not gonna let my wife win this battle because if she wins this battle I've basically just burned my man card and I'm gonna burn the man card of every other man And I'm just gonna let feminism take over the world and let me tell you something feminism has taken over our world Why because men didn't let their they just let their women take over They just said you know what you're about and I'm gonna do nothing about it You know, I'm not agreeing with King Ahasuerus method here, but I do agree with this he dealt with it He dealt with the problem. He dealt the situation He did not allow her to just do whatever she wants and get away with it Go if you would to first Kings chapter 21 first Kings chapter 21 now Genesis chapter 3 We have Adam and Eve and and who basically is the downfall of Adam his wife Adam never took the fruit Adam wasn't planning on disobeying God But what happened Eve? basically Entices her husband and gives her gives him of the food and he eats with her, you know If you study Genesis the Bible says that God commanded the man to not eat of the tree in the midst of the garden Then he created Eve So who does who is God expecting to teach Eve not eat of the fruit of the tree of the garden? Her husband her husband was supposed to teach her her husband was supposed to give her those Commandments and he totally failed Now first Kings chapter 21 look at verse 25 But there was none like unto Ahab which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord Whom Jezebel his wife stirred up. Why was Ahab such a terrible person because his wife Was leading that relationship because his wife was telling him what to do and he was doing whatever his wife wanted Go to first Kings chapter 11 go to first Kings chapter 11. Now the Bible commands in Deuteronomy chapter 17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself talking about the king that his heart turned not away Neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold Let me tell you something many men fail to serve God because of their wife because of their wife and You know what? You should not allow Your wife or a woman to stop you from serving God from stopping you to doing that which is right First Kings chapter 11 verse 4 for it came to pass when Solomon was old that his wife's turned away his heart after Other gods and his heart was not perfect or the Lord is God as was the heart of David his father now I'm just reading the Bible for you is the but the Bible is saying the reason why Solomon didn't love God as much is Because of his wife's it didn't say because of his sin didn't say because of what it's because of his wife That means a wife can stop you from serving God from loving God from doing that which is right Go to Genesis chapter 16 Genesis chapter 16. Now. I'm just giving this is just the foundation I just want to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Bible has so many examples of men that didn't serve God because of their wife and It's just it's a consistent theme Genesis chapter 16 verse 5 and Sarah said unto Abram my wrong be upon thee Now here's what you have to understand when your wife causes you to sin causes you to be drug away from God It's your fault. Still it's not her fault. It's your fault and Some people would hear this sermon and think like oh, it's against women. I don't care what your wife does I care what you do as a man You know, this sermon is about the men not leading their wives. It's not about wives obeying We already we already established that they're not gonna do very good at that You have to reign them in you have to basically tell them what to do and you know, Sarah is Pretty much lauded in the Bible as one of the greatest women in Bible. I Mean if you're gonna try and find a woman that was just great like to marry a great woman I mean according the Bible she's the most attractive woman on the planet Basically, not only that she's a great cook We understand that according to the scripture she was one of the most obedient wives ever recorded in history but even she Caused her husband to not follow God's commandments to commit adultery To go and lie with another woman and then whenever the the problem arises where oh, that was a bad decision Notice she didn't say. Oh, that's my problem. She said it's your problem So This is why it's so important that as a man you tell your wife what to do because you have to live with the consequences of your decisions and You have to deal with those problems and as a man You should know what's going on in your life so that you can make the right decision go to judges Chapter 14. I want to go to judges 14, you know in judges 19 Which is a really bad story as far as just as it's a horrible situation that happens where a man's concubine gets molested by a bunch of predators the AI DS community and They kill her and you say how did they get there? But if you start in that chapter in chapter 19, it tells you that the Levite took to him a concubine out of Bethlehem, Judah Now here's some problems number one Levites are supposed to marry Levites Why is he marrying or why is he with a woman that's not from Levi Secondly, why is it a concubine and not a wife? You know That's another serious issue that this guy has and then another problem is that woman has such a close relationship with her father-in-law She can commit adultery leave her husband and her father The guy's father-in-law takes her in You know, what what a wicked man that would interfere in the marriage of his children Especially when your daughter is in such the wrong that she commits adultery against her husband You better not be a rescue shelter for your adulterous daughters and say oh, yeah You can just do you can whore against your husband and do whatever you want and you can always come home to daddy now Here's the thing if your daughter or son was married to an axe murdering predator. Sure take them in Okay, I'm not saying that you wouldn't shield them from some like extreme reprobate situation Well, you know what? I'm not gonna shield my children because they commit adultery I'm not gonna shield my children from the consequences of their actions and having to deal with their situation You know what you do wrong you deal with it. They do wrong you deal with it unless it's one of these extreme Extreme situations. I wouldn't even consider it and even then I probably won't even do it because Abigail had to live with nay ball If Abigail is living a ball you have to live with whatever that's why you know You better pick someone wisely to marry You better pick the right person to go live with because you're living with them from now on it's like bye You know see ya, but you know what? There's a lot of parents that meddle There's a lot of parents that get involved and they're always like I just wanna let you know you guys have a fight You can always come over here You know if they don't do you they treat you poorly you can always come, you know, we need to adopt the Japanese culture Where it's like if you disobey your husband he can ship you back to dad and he'll smack you around until you get right and Then send you back, you know, it's like he wasn't he wasn't there as a shelter It's like a shame if you go back to dad because he'll be like you better obey your husband because this is embarrassing This is wicked. You better not be a vasty, you know get back to your husband and you obey him but that's not what happened that situation and We have here in judges 14 look at verse 17 This is Samson's wife and she wept before him the seven days while their feast Lasted and it came to pass on the seventh day that he told her Because she lay sore upon him and she told the riddle to the children of her people You know what? I like about the story is it proves that Samson's actually a weak person Did you not realize like we always think of Samson's being strong and it arguably he's the he's like one of the most physically strong people while God spirits upon him But here's the problem He is so weak when it comes to women and he can't tell his wife what to do And because of that it destroyed him, you know, you could be one of the greatest Christians ever But you know what? You don't get your wife in control and you completely destroy yourself and your wife and everyone around you because because Samson Allowed his wife to nag and cry and complain and he gave in to her what happened Well, eventually his wife was killed his wife was burnt with fire Her dad was burnt with fire and Samson had to move on to a bunch of other string of whores and terrible relationships Why because Samson didn't rule his house and as a man if you are gonna be a man You have to take the authority and never give it to anybody else The Bible says give not thy strength unto women, you know why because you can Allow yourself to be in control no matter what The woman cannot take your power from you. You can only give it to her now go through the first Corinthians chapter 9 I'm gonna give my first point They can't take it from you You know, it's so silly We live in a country and in a world where women are just in so many positions of power and authority today Because men gave it to them men gave them all kinds of stuff, you know abortion, you know We talked about abortion and people wish that abortion didn't exist In our country, but you know why abortion exists is because women can vote. I Mean if women could not vote in our country men overwhelmingly vote against abortion You know if we were to look at any moral issue any issue that's a serious issue in our country You know is always the most there the largest demographic in support of wickedness. It's always women You want to know the Democrats? biggest fan base is women I Mean there's Don't argue with facts Why is it that women are more inclined to go to evil and do wickedness than men? It's just nature I mean, who's the one being tempted by the devil in the garden? It was Eve So, of course because they're weaker the devil attacks them more and based on that combination Women are more likely to go into evil more likely to do wrong. Is that sexist? I don't care if it is or not Now here's the thing. I don't hate women, you know There was a label you things like sexist or whatever like you hate women. I don't hate women. I'm married to one Look folks. She's the most important person on the planet to me I love her more than all of you combined times a trillion And throw my children on top of that. It's like I love her more than anything She's the greatest thing ever, you know, women are wonderful. There's nothing about women that makes me think You know what? I love that. I love women God created the greatest thing. I mean when Adam woke up, he's like, whoa, man I mean look folks. That's not sexist to say though that women are weaker It's called reality. It's not sexist to say that women are more inclined to do evil than men and Here's another fact notice that there's more single men that come to our church than single ladies Why is every fact always in support of what I'm saying? I mean every fact by and large and you really And I'm gonna get there in a second But when you look at even the great women of the Bible, they have a man in their life, you know, you don't see these Joan of Arc types or something like that You don't see these just women that are just all out there by themselves as championing the Christian faith. Usually they have a man alongside Helping them guiding them leading them. Okay. That's why it says in 1st Corinthians chapter 9 look at verse 5 This is possible speaking have we not power to lead about a sister notice what the Apostle Paul didn't say to have a sister lead him about and Here's point number one if you want to Be successful in telling your wife what to do if you want to know how to tell your wife what to do You need to lead by example. You need to lead by example the Apostle Paul is of course a great example and He's saying hey, wouldn't I have the ability to lead about it says of course in the marital relationship? The husband is gonna lead about his wife. Of course. It says a sister notices a wife you say what's a sister? It's talking about a wife and why is it called the sister because we're brothers and sisters in Christ, of course So my wife is my sister, you know in the book of Song of Solomon He talks about his wife my sister my spouse Okay So, of course my wife is not only my wife She's my sister in Christ and it's my job to lead my sister just as minute I'm sorry just as the children in this room That have big families and you have men you have you have women and that you have the boy the brothers and the sisters the brothers are supposed to protect their sisters and they're supposed to lead their sisters and Defend their sisters and to help their sisters because they're the weaker vessel and just in the same way we've grown up We're still brothers and sisters and we need the men to lead the women not the other way around And if you want to be successful in the marriage relationship, you need to be a great example on your wife now Go to Genesis 37 go to Genesis 37. I want to take a kind of an analogy the Bible uses to help you better understand this point, but The Bible is Our lens or commentary on the universe it helps us understand everything that exists and everything in this world points to biblical truths every creation Every item every object it all points to the gospel of Jesus Christ It all points to the glory of God, you know in Romans chapter number one It talks about how these things are manifest that they don't have any excuse Why because God's powers just manifests that everything about it is clear and even the heavenly bodies illustrate spiritual truths for us now in Genesis 37 verse 9 the Bible says and he dreamed yet another dream talking of Joseph and Told his brethren and said behold I've dreamed a dream more and behold the Sun and the moon and the 11 stars made obeisance to me and he told it is to his father and to his brethren and his father rebuked him and said unto Him what is this dream that thou dream shall I and my mother and thy brethren indeed come to bow down ourselves to the to the earth so Joseph gives a dream he says there's a Sun Moon and stars and they're all gonna bow down to me and then as His father interprets the dream correctly. He's saying a father Mother and Brethren, so who's the father and the illustration is the Sun who is the mother? It's the moon who is the the brethren. They're the stars Now, what do we know about the heavenly bodies? Of course, we know that they're all spheres Okay, folks. All right, we know that here's another thing the moon while it's a light is actually more accurately in Scientific terms described as a mirror Because the moon itself doesn't have light and Of course, this is evident because we don't have a full moon every single day every single night How could you even have a partial moon if it was itself? Illuminated of course the Bible talks about all the different phases of the moon It's not like the Bible didn't realize that the moon itself is not Generating light itself, but it is a light because of its mirror properties the fact that it mirrors the Sun So it reflects the Sun's beams it reflects the Sun's radiance Now this is how a marriage works Where the father the husband is the Sun and he's radiating glory He's radiating beams and the wife is going to reflect Her husband's glory. She's gonna reflect her husband's radiance So the brighter the Sun shines the brighter the moon shines The less than the Sun shines the less the moon shines now, I want to go to another place good Isaiah 30 Go to Isaiah 30. So what does this mean? The reason why your wife oftentimes is not shining brightly is because you're not shining because she's simply a mirror and I could give you personal anecdotal stories of this just consistently But it's just evident that a wife almost always just morphs and takes on the persona of her husband She's a reflection of her husband in so many ways. I've seen so many women They're a certain person then they get married and they're just a reflection of the husband and they just do whatever the husband says You know, I know tons of women they're raised in a certain church and then whenever they get married They're the exact religion of their husband. That was completely different Why because often women are just a reflection of whatever the husband believes, you know, they didn't like football now they like football They they didn't like Outback now. They like Outback. Okay, they've used to put beans in the chili now They're right with God and don't put beans in the chili. Okay, they're going to reflect their husband's Characteristics in every area of life whether they even admit it or not You'll you'll start speaking the way that they speak you'll act the way that they act you're gonna go to the same places Do the same things have the same likes have the same dislikes You're gonna start reflecting your husband whether you like it or not. That's just the reality Now in Isaiah 30 look at verse 26. The Bible says this moreover the light of the moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days now the Context of this is God is punishing The earth he's pouring out wrath and what he's saying is that the moon is gonna shine as bright as the Sun will But then the Sun itself is seven times hotter So in order to get the moon to the point where it's like the Sun the seven as the Sun has to be seven times hotter Than itself was so what does this tell us? It tells us as the Sun gets brighter. What happens the moon gets brighter As the Sun gets hotter the moon gets hotter Okay, and this parallel works in your relationship that as you shine brighter The moon is going to reflect your persona. It's gonna reflect your beams your radiance your brilliance okay, and You know to have the the moon be as hot as the Sun the only way you're gonna spring status you go to Phoenix Okay, we're at night. It's still a hundred degrees. Okay. You're like what in the world's going on here but of course you could have in a human relationship you can have a woman that's shining like the moon and Then eventually she starts shining like the Sun and you say how you have to be seven times hotter You say like my wife isn't very zealous will become seven times more zealous yourself Well, my wife is struggling in this area. Okay, well then be seven times better in that area yourself Now this is a consistent theme go back to the first Timothy chapter before We were in chapter two, but go to chapter four first Timothy, I want to show you another verse here, you know I'll say this point one. I'm not gonna spend as much time on as a couple of other points I have this morning, but it's probably the most important Because if you are a good example whether your wife Consciously thinks about it or not. She's gonna end up emulating and following a lot of your example and And here's the thing When you're a bad example It's almost impossible to find a wife that's gonna still do the right thing. If you're a scumbag it's almost impossible for your wife to obey you if You're just a hypocrite if you come to this church and you hear all kinds of good preaching on things and you're a good marriage Advice and marriage tips and then you employ none of them expect your wife to also employ none of them You Know if you are not spending time with the children and with your wife and you're not spending time with the Lord Don't expect your wife to Don't expect your wife to just be the virtuous woman while you yourself are just playing video games and being lazy and Drinking alcohol and not working hard and being just a complete hypocrite and a complete loser Because let me tell you something Whether or not it's right or wrong it's human nature and your wife is just generally never going to be great when you suck You want your wife to be great then be seven times greater than her Seven times not like well, I'm a little bit better than her seven times Whenever you feel like you're seven times greater you say like I'm reading the Bible seven hours now I can expect her to read it for an hour You laugh I'm being serious You don't sit here and pick your wife apart pick yourself apart and say you know what? I know why my wife sucks It's because I suck You know why my wife is not shining bright, you know, when you look at the moon, it's never the moon's fault I'm never looking the moon. Like why aren't you shining? It's the Sun's fault the Sun's doing something weird or the Sun has problems Of course, you know if you read in the in times it talks about how the moon the Sun's darkened and guess what happens? The moon's darkened you want to know why it's because when either when the sunlight's not getting in the moon, it's dark Now that could be explained by maybe the heavenly bodies perhaps one of the closer planets or a comet or something is Traveling in the in the kind of in between and it's causing that problem. And of course, this is always the case, right? Why is there marital problems because there's something in the middle causing problems stopping the relationship from going? Well, you need to get that comment or plan it out of the way so that you're shining bright on that moon first Timothy chapter 4 verse 11 these things command and teach let no man despise thy youth but be thou an Example of the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and purity. Here's another thing if your church is bad You're probably bad as a leader Why because in the same way that a husband and a wife reflect each other often a church is gonna reflect its pastor, too Whereas the pastor if you want to have a great church, you have to be seven times greater You have to be better you have to be leading you have to be a great example So that your church has something to follow Whereas you know when you're not even soul winning How can you expect your church members to go soul winning and I'm not saying there is an exception to these rules What I am saying is that generally speaking when the pastor is not Excelling in a particular area the church often is gonna mirror that The church is gonna have that same problem and that same issue and and deal with all kinds of problems They're gonna start putting beans in the chili and then pretty soon they're gonna start putting rice in the chili and then pretty soon they're gonna start putting gummy bears and You know, whatever other weird stuff, you know Soy, they're gonna start putting tofu in the chili. You think I'm joking Pretty soon you'll go to a chili competition and it'll be vegan and I'm not joking There are people that bring vegan chili to a chili competition and it's like how did they get that far down there? It's because they let beans get in the chili You know what never happened. We never had a vegan chili at our chili competition. But you know what there are certain churches I won't name them Oklahoma City that puts beans in their chili and They have vegan chili showing up a little 11 limit the whole lot folks You don't even know why I'm so strict on these things You know, if we don't we don't hold Texas to Texas we'll be California pretty soon Hey, if we aren't a fundamental Baptist Church will be Joel Osteen pretty soon And you know what? I'm not interested in seeing how liberal and weak we can get I'm interested in seeing how bright we can shine And you know what as a man you need to be a great example to your wife and say you know what? I want my wife to be better. So I'm gonna be better Go Go to Genesis chapter. Well, we've already talked about go to chapter 2. Let's read this again Here's point number 2 point 1 lead by example point 2 is this command the scripture be followed Did you remember the verse I already read for you? These things command and teach as a pastor commands his flock in the same manner a husband commands his wife Now if you want to get your wife to follow you the best commandments are gonna be that of the scripture And let me tell you something the scripture is sufficient you want to get your wife to do what's right The scripture has all the verses you need That's why you need to appeal the scripture. And of course that doesn't make you the bad guy. You're not the bad guy Hey, this is what the Bible says. You need to do what the Bible says. Hey, let me give you some verses You know, it's really hard to tell your wife what the Bible says when you don't know what the Bible says You know, you might be struggling to give your wife good suggestions because you don't have any good suggestions and let me be honest I don't But you know The Bible has a lot of good ones and I can appeal to scripture and I can command that the scripture be followed and this Is always the case. How can your wife argue with you when you're saying this is what hey better do it. God said She can't argue with that. She can argue with you You know what? How are you gonna argue with the Bible? And of course they still will but you know what? They start getting hurt in their heart, you know They're grieving the Holy Spirit and because they're saved They're gonna they're gonna want to change and God can change their heart and there's been times where me and my wife have had Disagreements and I'm appealing to the scripture and the things that are right and I didn't think it would happen But I just prayed that God would change her heart and her heart changed You know why it changed because I was appealing to scripture and I'm commanding scripture to be followed not just my arbitrary rules You know if I make up arbitrary rules, it's gonna be almost impossible to get my wife to follow But if I appeal to the scripture and I say this is what the Bible is saying You better do it. You know, this is what is right and Adam should have taught his wife Hey, this is what God said don't eat of that tree I didn't tell you that God told you to do that and you ought to fear God Look at it says in verse 72 verse 12 again But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority of the man but to be in silence for Adam was first form Then Eve and Adam was not deceived but the woman being deceived was in the transgression Notwithstanding she should be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety so, of course, you know what saves your wife you have given her lots of children to raise and Telling her what to do and ruling over your house. You know, what's not gonna save her is letting her lead It never works. There is no relationship in the Bible where the wife is leading her husband and it's successful None, there's none of them where the husband's like, I don't think we should follow God and the wife's like Let's follow God and thousands like okay You know when that happened in the Bible? Oh, yeah, I didn't read it You know what happens the husband leads his family the husband leads his wife the husband Encouragers go to 1st Corinthians chapter 14 1st Corinthians chapter 14 now I am not saying oh, well, my husband's not giving me good spiritual advice. I guess I just do whatever I want then No, no you do right period You know, I'm not saying you know there I've known people Personally where it's pretty obvious that the wife wants to serve God and the husband's not And you know what? Praise God for those women, you know Those men do not deserve it because it's really hard to find a woman that'll even just obey Let alone the woman that's gonna exceed your righteousness So if you have that, you know woe unto you if you're not following it because God killed Nabal So, you know, yeah, I can't imagine why God would want to sit here and just let a woman who wants to serve him not Serve him that's a dangerous position to be in if you're a man holding your wife back from serving God God might kill you and give her a better husband. Oh I don't believe that. Well, don't test God God will just kill Nabal. Okay, God can kill all kinds of people for whatever reason, you know And the last thing you want is someone being held back from serving God And you know as a man my wife can't hold me back from serving God But as a wife you could be held back by your husband You could be prevented from doing certain things that are spiritual that you really want to do And you know what? That is a dangerous place to be as a man. You better not ever hold your wife back from serving God Okay Now in 1st Corinthians 14 look at verse 34 Let your women keep silence in the churches for it is not permitted unto them to speak but they are commanded to be under obedience How dare you command your wife? What does the Bible say they're commanded to be under obedience? How is your wife gonna obey you're gonna command her to obey you're gonna tell her what to do and it says this as Also say at the law. He didn't say like only the law he's saying hey I'm commanding them be in obedience and the laws commanding to me obedience Where it's a it's a two punch. It's the left hook and the right hook just BAM Obey But you know what? We need some men to be commanding their wives Verse 35 and if they will learn anything Let them listen to Joyce Meyer. Oh Wait, that's what I said Let them ask their husbands at home for it is a shame for women to speak in the church Look, there is a church across the street where the pastor lets his wife get up and preach sermons The house church It's pastor so-and-so pass I would love for her to preach that verse Here's my challenge to the house church is hey let your let your wife teach us what that verse means in the King James Bible I Bet that verse isn't getting thundered forth from the pulpit And you know why there's so many marriages that are being screwed up because they have a literal Woman teaching them the Bible from the pulpit What a shame and an embarrassment in our country that we have women teaching the Bible. I Mean, how could any country have respect for America when they look at our country and they see women teaching the Bible The Apostle Paul says I'm not gonna suffer that I'm not gonna allow that How dare you talk about that against me? Look they should sit down and shut up and ask their husband what the Bible says and you know What's embarrassing is all the men that are married to a woman teaching the Bible? You know, it's more embarrassing than a woman teaching the Bible being married to her. I Mean that is I mean you just literally said I have no Male body part. I I just I just burned my man card. I Said you know what honey? Can you open the pickle jar? Honey, will you open my door for me? Hey, honey. Can you tuck me in at night? Hey, honey There's someone at the door. Will you go check and make sure it's safe. I mean, what kind of man are you honey? Can you pay for this meal? It's honey, can you please teach the Bible for me today? What a joke what a joke of a society we live in and People wonder why we have Joe Biden's our president When they let a woman teach them the Bible. Oh You think you think the women pastors are gonna take this country back? When does that ever happen? When does a woman ever build a successful church? When is a woman ever started a soul-winning movement? When is a woman ever champion for the faith of God's Word? You know, when is a woman gotten up and just been like man? I'm a hardcore King James only fundamental Baptist-believing, you know When do the women get up and preach and say let's obey our husbands and do everything they say and let's have a long hair And let's wear dresses and skirts, you know, they have short hair pants on and they're telling women to get a career They're teaching women how to be a man Because when they teach, you know why they're teaching women to be men so they can tell their husbands what to do Instead of men teaching men how to be the man, you know, who's the man the one who wears the pants He knows the man the one that tells his wife what to do You want to know who's the man in the relationship the one who gets their way? Go to 1st Corinthians 7 Let me say this the Bible tells us we ought to obey God rather than men You know what if there's a conflict between God and my wife. She is not allowed to win Period So then they there in the flesh cannot please God my life is not here to please my wife it is here to please God You want it? Oh, that sounds like she's not gonna get her way. Sometimes you better believe it You know what I am NOT here to serve my wife My wife is here to serve me and I'm here to serve God and if I allow anything to get in between me and God It's because I hate God Because I hate my purpose I hate the fact that God made me a man You know all these people that hate that they're a man and they go and basically get a transvestite surgery or whatever That's what a lot of men are doing spiritually where they're just letting their wife emasculate them and basically turning in all of their their male body parts spiritually and just said why don't you just Rule the house. Why don't I just put on a dress spiritually and allow you to lead me around and let's go to Joyce Myers Church or not even I mean look how how come men aren't the one dragging their wives the church Men should be dragging their wife the church not the other way around and I guarantee if we go to that church there is more women than men there I Guarantee if we go down to Todd White's church. There's more women than men there I guarantee we go down to the the Baptist Church down here first Baptist Church Halton City. There's more women there There is going to be virtually more women in almost every single church in this area except for steadfast Baptist Church And you say why is that because you can tell the church that wants to serve God more men are gonna be in that church Then the church that's not wanting to serve the church. That's the worst spiritually is gonna have the most women and The church is the most righteous is gonna have the most men now, of course that doesn't mean women won't be there You know praise God we have single ladies that come to our church Praise God for them praise God that there's some women that are willing to try and serve the Lord You know, even if they don't have someone leading them, but that is an exception That is not the rule Look what it says in first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 32 But I would have you without carefulness he that is unmarried care for the things that belong to the Lord How he may please the Lord, but he that is married care for the things that are of the world how he may please his wife You know what sometimes getting married will distract you from serving God To the point where you just won't even do it and you say you know what? I'd rather please my wife than please God Why because they just don't want the fight. They don't want the problems. But you know, I find that usually It's only like one or two times that you really need to just lay down the law You know I think men have this idea of like well I just don't want to have this fight for the rest of my life or I don't want to just constantly You know have this issue, but it's like you start leading by example and you set the right precedent You're you're good But here's the problem if you allow your wife to win and you set the wrong precedent Be ready to fight with your wife for the rest of your life Be ready because they already learned. Okay, as long as I complain and cry and beg him or whatever He'll just give me the answer to the riddle You know as where Samson said never don't even ask again And then when he didn't give her the riddle, she would never have asked again in the future But you know what because he gave in guess what happens the next time she wants to know something She's gonna cry for seven days again. That was seven days who wants to be nagged by their weight wife for seven days straight But when you give in you're gonna you know what you're gonna have nagging for your entire life She will always buck at everything you say she will never obey she'll never listen to you She'll never go where you want and your whole life. You'll just be led by her down a dark road Into just just destruction you do not if you know, it's right and your wife's wanting to do something. That's not right You never ever ever ever cave ever You're setting yourself up for a life of misery and whoa whoa unto the man that lets his wife lead him Whoa unto the man that gives in and caves in and just allows his wife to tell him what to do Go to Hebrews chapter 12 You want to know what a man is? It's the one who rules Think about this if you live in a household and the children do whatever they want. There's no parent There's no parent and If you live in a house where the wife does whatever she wants there's no man in the house There's no man in the house. You know that the man is supposed to take charge. He's supposed to command his wife Look what it says in Hebrews 12 verse 8 But if you be without chastisement where of all our partakers then he bastards and not sons You know what God's saying? Hey, if you don't ever get punished, it's like you don't even have a father Why because if you out there a wife and you never ever get corrected you never get instructed you never put In your place, it's because you don't have a man in your life Because you need a man to get you in line and you know what men need to rule their wives Go if you would to first Timothy 5 go to first Timothy 5, you know I'm just gonna read for you some places in the Bible Bible says in Ecclesiastes. This is what Solomon said Behold this have I found say the preacher counting one by one to find out the account which yet my soul seeketh But I find not one man among a thousand have I found but a woman among all those have I not found, you know You know Solomon said he said I can find one out of a thousand men. That'll serve God. I Can't even find one woman out of a thousand that'll serve God Now that doesn't mean it's impossible to find it's not necessarily not as one out of ten thousand but it's in reality It's like one out of a million It's so rare That's why the Bible says who can find a virtuous woman her her price is far above rubies It didn't say like oh, it's easy to find women that will just serve God. It says it's almost impossible And what is that chapter Proverbs 31? Oh, yeah, it's about the virtuous woman Now, you know what? Let me give you an let me give you a little tip about the virtuous woman She's married Did you realize that the problem is like hey, where can I find this virtuous woman? She's married It's like all these single guys. They want to find the virtuous woman. You will never find it Because the virtuous woman's married You have to get one and then make her virtuous It's like it's like trying to find a moon that's already shining without a Sun It doesn't exist. You have to find a good-looking moon and start radiating on that moon Okay, but it's like oh well, what about Deborah Okay. Well, let's just you know, you know when Deborah's mentioned the Bible Let me read it for you and Deborah prophetess the wife of Lapidoth She's married and why is it the first time she's mentioned it's like oh, yeah, she's the wife of somebody It's look it's a consistent theme in your Bible folks. You know, how about jail? She's a great woman right when she's first mentioned is the wife of Heber Why is it mentioning that they're married because look the great women of the Bible are often just married already And of course, it doesn't mean that there wasn't women that weren't married that didn't do something good at some point in their life Of course when they're younger, you know, you got people like Becca Rebecca's a great woman She's not even married yet But of course she ends up that's why she gets married and that's why she's so desirable is because of she already showed a lot of good attributes, okay, and Usually when you find women that were great in the Bible that weren't married yet or something. They have some serious sin issues It's like Rahab the harlot Okay Mary Magdalene who was had filled with devils and all kinds of stuff the woman at the well, okay Yeah, she's a great like soul winner not so great in other areas of her life Okay Yeah, you could find people like Daniel Not Married great man ago. Where is the eunuch woman? You know, even when you find women that are serving God on their own They were a wife at one point and then now they're a widow like a widow for four score years or something like that because often it's the woman that were led by a good man and Started getting a lot of good sunlight in their life that helped them become the woman that they are today first Timothy chapter 5 No, I'm gonna prove this with the Bible Verse 11, but the younger widows refused for when they have begun to wax one against Christ They will marry having damnation because they've cast off their first faith You know the Apostle Paul saying I will not ever give a dollar or a cent to a young widow she needs to get married and He's saying why because if I start paying if I just start paying the bills of women and they don't have a husband They're gonna turn bad They'll eventually just stop serving God and they'll just marry some bozo. That's what it's saying It's just saying they won't be satisfied just being taken care of and going to church because they're too young They're gonna have too much desire and they're gonna just marrying, you know, some loser Fabio with long hair Okay, they're gonna marry some weirdo or something like that. So they need to just go ahead and get married in the Lord now That's why it says in verse number 13 and with all they learn to be idle Wandering about mouse the house and not only idle but Tatler's also and busybodies speaking things with the odd Not I will therefore the younger women marry their children guide the house give none occasion the adversary to speak reproachfully For some are already turned aside after Satan. So what he's saying is look the women If you just give them all the stuff that a man is supposed to give them, but they don't have a man They're gonna go bad. They're gonna start gossiping. They're gonna start getting into things that they shouldn't they're gonna have all this free time To do whatever they're going to eventually just marry some loser or hook up with some lose I mean think about the woman at the well, she had five husbands folks and The guy she was with currently is not her husband. Why because that's what women are gonna be like They're gonna gravitate towards that and they're just gonna you know wax one against Christ They're not gonna be satisfied just serving Christ Just carte blanche and this is what's so bad about our society is we have so many women like something like welfare on Government programs and whatever and they become the worst women Because they they think oh I can do it on my own and they just become the biggest gossips They just turn aside after Satan. I mean as a woman you should just decide I need a man in my life I mean, that's just reality You know the moon needs the Sun The moon will never shine without the Sun and you know what women should just decide I need a man in my life You know whether it's my father whether that's my husband You know, I need a man in my life until you get to this that age the Bible talks about, you know They're supposed to seek for marriage. They're supposed to seek for a man in their life they're supposed to seek for someone to lead about lead them about and That's just the reality if we go to Proverbs 31 go to Proverbs 31. What was this second point? Is that you need to command your wife? To follow the scripture command your wife to follow the scripture the Apostle Paul's telling him Hey have her get married bear children guide the house You know as a man, you need to tell her these things like you're gonna you're gonna have bear children You're gonna guide the house and you can get really specific and I encourage you to go get really specific But when you have too much idle time, it is gonna destroy you and it's not just women folks Almost everything I'm saying is the same for men I mean David when he doesn't go out to war at the time that Kings to go to war what happens he ends up getting in all kinds of sin Women are not busy doing that which is right are gonna get into trouble You know, you know what Adam should have done He should have been having Eve make him apple pie at home So she wouldn't have been tempted to go and touch the wrong tree and be tempted by the devil They should have been eating steak for dinner or a snake for dinner, you know As opposed to you know, allowing that thing to whisper in her ear, okay And You know if your wife is not busy make her busy If your wife is not busy make her busy you say how make her life harder To make it better. Is that you know, stop making food from a box. Everything's from scratch And you know, you need to get a good palate so that you'll actually make your have your wife make you good food Okay If you eat McDonald's all the time, you might just it's like good luck. Okay? You know make your you could have your wife make clothes you could have your wife shop at more stores for better prices because I Do a lot of shopping myself for groceries and things that I like to help out and I just know There are certain products at certain stores that are cheaper, but you can't like there's never a one-stop shop There's not like just one store that always have the best prices It's like they kind of have strategic things some stores have a really good price on certain products Other stores have a really good price on a completely different product and I mean, it'll vary greatly I mean you can have it where it'll be two three times more expensive at a particular store for the same product That you would be buying and I know gas is a factor But just generally speaking if you know the right deals and you're going out shopping spend more time going shopping. Don't let some Thug or whatever, you know go and shop for you because they always suck at it. Anyways, all right Make her learn things make her do her chores You know I'll say this I never do laundry or help with laundry and I'm not saying that's for you in your household You can decide whatever you want. I help make a lot of meals. Maybe you don't want to ever help make a meal Okay but there are certain tasks that I will never help with because I did not gonna take that away from my wife and And this is why I always joke with her but it's serious cuz I think I want to keep you employed You know, it's like hey you left some clothes over here. Yeah, I want to I want to make sure you staying employed You know, it's like I want you to have plenty to do around here and I'm doing a good job at giving you lots of Work. Okay, you're welcome Proverbs 31 look at verse 16. She consider the field and buyeth it with the fruit of her hand She planted the vineyard, you know have your wife do a garden Get You know some hard physical labor Look at verse 17. She girded their loins with strength and strengthen their arms. Here's one make your wife work out How are you gonna strengthen your arms? You actually have to do work, you know tik-tok isn't gonna strengthen your arms folks Okay, Facebook isn't gonna do it Pinterest for sure is not gonna do it. Okay You know, it's gonna actually strengthen those arms is working Putting those hands to good use, you know causing your why I mean there's nothing wrong your wife being physically strong That's great You just be seven times stronger Hey, you know what you be seven times stronger and then your wife get stronger and then you get stronger. Okay? There's a lot and why is it that her arms are getting stronger because she's working She's doing stuff and you know women's arms are by nature very weak Like they can have a really strong lower body naturally, but their upper body is usually a lot weaker So it might take a lot of effort, you know holding babies while they cook Holding that car seat going around do some work and let me tell you something when you work out. It gives you energy It also releases dopamine in your head It also helps you have less injuries feel better about yourself and you feel more useful So it's like oh, how dare you make your wife work out? Well, look it has every benefit you could possibly wish for She's gonna have less depression less mood issues less injuries Of course the more healthy you are the better looking you're gonna be the better they're gonna feel about their body You know all those clothes you have in the closet. She can't wear she start wearing them again. Okay, whatever the issues are It's gonna be a positive thing You know what sometimes you need to command your wife to do that which is right I I'll be honest. I won't work out unless I have someone telling me what to do. So You know, it's not like my wife's any different, you know, I need the same kind of encouragement as well Proverbs 31 verse 23 her husband is known in the gates Did you notice in the middle of this chapter? It just says oh, yeah, by the way, her husband's awesome Her husband's a leader her husband sits with the elders her husband's known in the gates You want to know why this woman's so awesome because her husband's awesome You know, it doesn't say oh her husband plays video games all day Her husband's known on reddit Her husband is you know, it's like her husband is like a leader in the community Her husband's making a different in the community Look at verse 26. She openeth her mouth of wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness You know, it used to be that old adage They will say my mother would always say if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all You know where that's coming from the Bible. Look what it says in her tongue is the law of Kindness meaning she has a rule. She has a law She has a commandment that she is only allowed to be kind You know women should have this attribute where they are they're kind You know what not criticizing their husband Not criticizing people all the time not gossiping about other women. No, no, you have a law and your law is kindness You say but no kindness If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all Good Ephesians 5 good Ephesians 5 Here's my last point, okay, and here's here's the reality we need to lead by example we need to tell our wives what to do and I think that an art style church a lot of men do these first two and Then they get confused why it's not working They'll say like well, I'm going to church. I'm reading my Bible and I'm telling my wife make me stuff I'm Telling my wife do whatever I want, you know, and for some reason it's just the axes are grinding and it's not working Here's the third reason here's probably the most important for a lot of people in our style church is you have to love your wife You have to love her because you know a harsh dictator is only gonna get so far in obedience and really your wife is gonna obey you better out of a heart of love and appreciation more than just a ruling dictator that's ruling with fear and just Do it now, of course, they should I'm not saying don't but what I'm saying is the reality is a lot of times Why is aren't obeying their husband? They're not doing what they said not because they didn't say it not because the husband isn't doing right so because the husband doesn't love them and It's hard to be motivated to serve someone that doesn't love you It's hard to do the right thing when there's not any kind of mutual respect or care or affection Ephesians chapter 5 look at what it says in verse 25 husbands Love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it With the washing of water by the word now it says in verse 29 No, no man ever yet hate his own flesh would nourish and cherish it. You should nourish and cherish your wife You should realize she's a great value. She's the greatest things ever happened to you and She's way better looking than you. Okay And Notice you still cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, right? You're supposed to tell her what to do and clean her up with the Bible. But but at the same time Here's my philosophy and I believe this is gonna help you is I will never compromise on the Bible But I'll compromise all day long and things that are not the Bible So what does that mean? It's like you're coming to church with me on Sunday morning There is no there's not another option it's already been decided and if I need to I'll pick you up and put you in the car and Then I'll pick you up and put you in your chair Okay, and I'll hold you down during the service if I have to I'll turn the by I'll help I'll hold your hand while you turn in the pages with me But you know what I'll say this I'll go wherever you want for lunch Now here's a problem she'll be like, well, I don't know So then you have to know your wife because you actually love her and you say we're going to your favorite place You know, even if I don't like ranch dressing you love ranch dressing. So we're gonna go and get some ranch dressing. Amen Right. Why because I love my wife and Of course, I'm not perfect. But what I'm saying is that we should all Be willing as men to make compromises and sacrifices for our wives But just never when it's a sacrifice in the commandments of the Bible That's not there's not an option here You can't complain or nag me enough to get me to stop following God's commandments and not doing what's right You know what? If you want me to do other things You want you want to live this place? You want to go this place? You want to do these things gonna wear this stuff? I mean look I go shopping sometimes with my wife. I Absolutely hate shopping. I I'm not joking when I say I'm not joking. I'm not exaggerating If you said pastor silly Dylan can punch you in the face or you can go shopping all day. I would take the punch in the face And he could probably pack a pretty good punch It's like because as soon as the punch is over I can then go enjoy the rest of my day Whereas shopping hurts the whole day and there's some they're like I can walk and play golf Like I could walk miles and carry my golf clubs and swing and I'm less tired than just standing in a store for like 30 Minutes you like start standing in the store and you're just like getting boozy and your legs are not like locking up And then you have to possibly spend money talk about hurting your heart I'm like hurt my body over my wallet, okay folks And it's like everything just gets more expensive every second and you look at all the gimmicks They're like, huh? We marked it up a thousand percent and then knocked it off 50 It's like honey. We're gonna save so much money. It's like no You never save money by spending it. Okay, never Go to Song of Solomon. All right, I'm gonna finish the sermon I promise Caution says husbands love your wives. You know, we should be tender and gentle and Sacrificial and we should care what our wives want. We should know what our wives want. We should study our wives We should put effort and energy into our wives, you know at the end of the day. I'm gonna tell her what to do and Often you know when you get really good at this there's less and less of the back and forth, you know I don't even I don't even let my wife order at the restaurant. I just order for her because I'm better at ordering for her than she is and I mean that in all seriousness. She'll order bad stuff for her Like I'm not saying like health-wise I'm saying like she'll just make a mistake and realize that that's not that's not what I know what she Wants I know what she needs to get and I don't need to waste time and make her uncomfortable with the waiter or whatever I'm just like this is exactly what she wants because we'll go to Outback and she doesn't like Tomatoes or onions in her salad, but she'll be like, I just feel awkward like asking for two things So I'll just only ask for one and I'm like, no, let's get both out, you know I'll tell them you know, hey make it this way and it's like sometimes your wife Just feels uncomfortable about situations doesn't know how to handle things and you just handle it for them You buy the things for her you do that You hold the door for her you help her with all you study your wife you pay attention to what she likes You take her out to the places that she likes I mean you need to do things that show you actually care about her if you don't even know what your wife likes It's because you don't love her Just like if you don't know what God likes it's because you don't love them. I Mean It's there's so many men out there. They're like, oh my wife never does what I want It's like you don't even know who your wife is Don't know anything about her. You don't even care about her. Why is she gonna be so motivated to serve you? So faithfully when you don't even care to learn anything about her You don't even know what she likes Song of Solomon look at verse 1 the song of songs, which is Solomon's let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth For thy love is better than wine, you know, if you want to understand something about marriage song of Solomon they are physically affectionate all the time and As a man, you should be physically affectionate with your wife all the time, but of course in a sincere way You know, she wants to be kissed by him why because it shows to her that he cares about her he's thinking about her He likes her You know physical affection is very important in a relationship. If you're not showing physical affection You're failing in a relationship. You need to be showing consistent putting your arm around her hold her hand You know giving her Intimate embraces on a regular basis letting her know that you like her and not just for you know The reason men get married but just on a regular basis showing care and affection and love and gentleness You know women love this Verse 13 a Bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me. He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts Here's another thing spend time with her You know, why it is probably the number one reason women disobey you is for attention Women will rebel for one reason. They just want your attention. It's not that they're really wanting to be rebellious They're just so jealous for your attention that they're willing to just do anything to get it Even to the point of sinning even to the point of just being rebellious They'll just do all kinds of weird stuff just see a patient. They'll spend money that they shouldn't just so you'll pay attention They'll do something you told them not to do just so you'll notice them because they would rather have negative attention from you Than no attention and if you're not giving her any attention, she'll start giving you plenty of negative attention So it's like I want to eliminate negative attention and give her lots of positive attention spend time with your life You know if I had a job where I'm not seeing my wife on a regular basis I would change jobs This is not worth it. You know notice what it says all night. He's with his wife It didn't say like oh well He's just off doing his own thing no no your wife loves it when you're around her and spending time with her and you're there At night, you know my wife has our time even sleeping if I'm not there at night, and it's it's a consistent thing It's not like my wife all of your wives, okay? Maybe we don't want to be touching, but we are in the same area, okay? Go to chapter 2 look at verse 4 He brought me to the banqueting house and his banner over me was loved stay me with flagons come for me with apples for I'm sick of up. You know what? He's taking her out to nice places to eat I'm meant to read one of the verse chapter 1 verse 17 the beams of her house are cedar and are wrapped of her they Have a nice place to live You know you want your wife to obey you Give her physical affection all the time spend plenty of time with her give her a really nice house to live in Take her out to nice places to eat Go to chapter 4 Look at verse 9 now. It's ravished my heart my sister my spouse I was ravished my heart with one of thine eyes with one chain of thy neck how fair is thy love My sister my spouse how much better is thy love than wine in the smell of thine ointments than all spice You know he does in this chapter, and I'm almost all the chapters. He's constantly praising his wife's beauty You know your wife loves for you to compliment her, and you will never be done complimenting her She can never be complimented enough. You can never tell her she's beautiful enough. You can never compliment her attributes enough She is insecure and she needs you to provide that security by constantly reminding her of how beautiful She is at all times On a regular basis chapter 6 verse 9 my dove my undefiled is but one here's another thing You need to communicate to your wife She is the only one the worst thing you can do in your relationship is compliment other women's beauty All other women are butt ugly compared to my wife They're like they might as well be men My undefiled is but what my under my my I'm sorry yeah, yeah undefiled, but one my beloved is one the only one It's like man. Why is my wife not you know obeying me? it's because you're always thinking about other women and focused on other women and Focused on yourself and doing your own things and you're a selfish lazy jerk, and she doesn't want to serve you It's like All these problems, and you know what men often want to do they want to complain to me and act like they have a bad Wife no, you're bad My wife's rebellious you're rebellious You Know what I'm just sick and tired of men complaining about their wives That is a woman attribute You know what a man does he fixes the problem He doesn't complain about it women do that women coming to you like I have this problem. You know what miss they fix it You know I don't want to fix. I just want to talk about it It's like no no no as a man you just fix problems You don't sit here complain about them and Worry about them and look I guarantee every man in this room is not sitting here like check got it check got it check got it Maybe Jacob, but that's why he's single no He's getting a lot out of this sermon this morning, okay? I'm just giving him a hard time Look folks you say. Oh, I don't know if I can get my wife to obey me If you're leading by example you're commanding her to follow the scripture, and you're loving her with physical affection Romance you're spending time with her you're giving her a nice house You're giving her nice food, and you're constantly praising her. Let me tell you something. She will do everything you tell her to do And I guarantee the women in this room while they're not allowed to scream amen They're thinking like wow that sounds great My husband's gonna lead by example. He's gonna be a righteous man that I can follow He's gonna teach me the Bible, and he's gonna spend so much time with me loving on me doting on me Giving me a nice house taking me out on restaurant. You know giving me something important to do with my life Helping me with that instructing me in those words. That's what every woman wants the women out here. They want that That's why they're so unhappy Every feminist is unhappy have you ever met a happy feminist they don't exist. They're always recovering They're always having mental health days. They're always needing to just detoxify or whatever They will never be happy Every woman is unhappy without a man in their life The man is what makes a woman happy, and you know what when you're not a real man your wife's not happy Your wife's not gonna obey your wife's not gonna do what you want don't be letting Vashti Tell you what to do you know what get an Esther in your relationship You know make an Esther Be be the brightest Sun you can be so she can be the best moon that she can be you know what the last thing? I want to hear is how the moon isn't shining bright You know why the moon is it shining bright because you're not shining bright And you know what stop worrying about how your wife is struggling and start worrying about you I? Don't I don't want to hear it if you're a man in this room you fix yourself You fix your problems I already gave you a lot of suggestions if you do every single thing on this list Perfectly then you come talk to me, and then I will give you other advice then I will help you But until then you know focus on what the Bible has already instructed us, and you know what start telling your wives what to do Let's go some prayer. Thank you Heavenly Father for the Word of God. Thank you for giving us such clear instruction I pray that you would have strengthened men's hearts in this room today. You'd strengthen men's hearts in this country that they would start Exercising authority over their wives because that's what they want. That's what they need what our country needs That's what our state needs. That's what our church needs. That's what every marriage needs is a man We have a lack of men in this world We have a lack of godly men that will serve the Lord that put him first That are willing to rule what he's given them authority over and I pray that we wouldn't be slothful as men we would take our jobs as the most important job as the leader and That we would encourage our wives and our family and our children and in our entire community To follow your commandments and to see the fruit of that work and in Jesus name we pray men For a final song this morning we will turn to 420 there's a song in the air 420 there's a song in the air 420 there's a song in the air There's a song in the air there's a star in the sky There's a mother's deep prayer and a baby's low cry And the star reigns its fire while the beautiful sing for the manger of Beth the him cradles a king There's a tumult of joy for the wonderful birth For the Virgin sweet boy is the Lord of the earth By the star reigns its fire while the beautiful sing for the manger of Bethlehem cradles a king In the light of that star by the ages And that song from a bar has swept over the world Every earth is a flame and a beautiful Sing in the homes of the nations that Jesus is King We rejoice in the light and we echo the song That comes down through the night from the heavenly throng I wish out to the love the evangelical So we have one baptism real quick, sorry we have just stay seated for just a second we have Clayton coming for baptism You