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If you have your Bibles, please go back to Psalm 51 Psalm 51 and This is my final sermon on the series of the family Psalm 51, please. This is my final sermon and When I prepared my initial series on the family, I did not include this sermon. This wasn't really part of my initial preparation and then I felt it was very important for me to cover this topic because There are many people in my church I mean even within this church and people with the church up there in Queensland that come from broken homes That come from homes where they've you know, didn't grow up with mom and dad together or you know They grew up with stepfathers or you know, maybe they've been divorced and remarried and you know They haven't got that exact biblical framework of marriage and family that we see in the Bible And so it's super important that we look at The families, you know the broken homes are families which don't have it exactly together You know, it's not necessarily a child's it's obviously it's not a child's fault if he grows up in a family where his parents are divorced It's not his fault, right? And so sometimes people that grow up in these kinds of family situations. They might feel a little undervalued They might feel they're not important or you know Destroy their lives or they feel like God can't use them or things like that and we need to you know Provide an answer biblical answer to these people and for them to understand how important they are to God and how God can still use People that have come from broken families broken marriages had they have made mistakes in the past And what does God have to say about this? One of the experiences that I've that I've had in my life as a pastor is I've often been approached by people who are in broken homes divorced remarried or whatever, you know these situations and You know, the question is always well, what about me? What about my situation? What does God want for me, you know, and the thing about that there is no magic answer like there's not this perfect answer Okay Sometimes the mistakes we've made in the past You can't change that the mistakes are made and you've just got to learn how to put that behind you and move on with life You know, there's not this magic bullet that answers every question for every broken home situation and every broken home is different to another broken home You know that there's not this answer what God does for us in the Bible He gives us the ideal scenario, right and the ideal scenario just quickly the title for the sermon tonight is the broken home The title is the broken home and I'm not I'm not covering abusive Parents or anything. I'm not so that I'm not talking about abuse right now Like I'm not talking about, you know, dads that you know become alcoholics and they become violent and aggressive to their families I'm not covering that topic on any kind of sexual abuse anything like that when I talk about broken homes. What is a home? What is a family the marriage, you know, and the children that would develop out of that marriage So anything that breaks that situation, you know, I would term a broken home Okay, and you know the Bible gives us a very important, you know Defines for us what a home should be like, you know, what marriage should be like, you know, it should be one man one woman Virgins going into marriage for the very first time not having given themselves to anybody else prior to that, right? I'm talking about the biblical model here I'm talking about what God expects what God says it ought to be, you know Go into this marriage that one marriage the vows are exchanged, right? The husband says I'm going to love you, you know as Christ loved the church I'm going to give of you of myself sacrificially, you know till death do us part and and for the wife to turn around say yes You know, I take you as my husband. I take you as my head, you know, you know, I vow to be submissive to your authority You know, they make these vows before God and for witnesses and they keep that vow for the rest of their lives That's the biblical framework and from that marriage That's where children come right when God wants us to raise a godly seed. That's the that's the framework that's the model that God has given us in the Bible and Anything that takes away from that anything that breaks that framework you could see or think of as a broken home I'm also going to use the term a blended family and I'll explain all these things as we go through this in the Bible But I hope you're still in Psalm 51. If you're not there just go back there to Psalm 51 Psalm 51 and as Nicholas was reading that I hope you noticed the The sorrow of King David as King David was saying these words you can probably see he's downcast He's upset. He's full of sorrow and the context of Psalm 51 now I don't know if you all have this in your Bible before verse 1. He tells us this I don't know Maybe we'll have this it says to the chief musician a psalm of David when Nathan the Prophet came unto him After he had gone into Bathsheba Now I don't know if you remember the story in the Old Testament Where David already had multiple wives, which was wrong, right? And then he saw Bathsheba, you know, he lusted after her He was she was already the wife of another man in fact She was a wife of one of his most loyal and powerful warriors that he had and while her husband was at war He took her King David took her for himself, right? Then she falls pregnant and they try to cover it up. It ends up with David basically killing her husband You know sending her husband to war the troops pulling back and the enemy killing her husband because they were trying to hide this secret Well, they hid the secret if you guys know this story, it's David's great shame in the Bible, you know But they they hide this secret for several months In fact, they hide this secret all the way to Bathsheba gives birth then Nathan the Prophet turns up and says, you know What you've done wrong you've done wrong and then King David when he realizes his grief his sorrow the big mistake He realizes he can't hold this as a secret He writes this Psalm here in Psalm 51 and I want you to notice number verse number 17 there Psalm 51 verse 17 it says here the sacrifices of God are a broken spirits a Broken and a contrite heart Oh God that will not despise What is what is David saying? He's broken about it, right? He's broken-hearted by what he did by the sin that he committed not only is he broken-hearted He caused a broken home. He caused a Marriage to be broken apart, you know, he caused his own family was already with several wives here He had already Destroyed the framework that God wanted the model that God wanted in his life and there he goes and commits adultery Adultery with another man's wife. He brought brokenness He broke further brokenness in his life in Bathsheba's life, you know Uriah lost his life About this situation and so we have broken homes out of this situation and because of this David says look I've got a broken heart I've got a broken spirits right a broken and contrite Oh God that will not despise So this gives you the context of Psalm 51 David's broken-hearted right? He's really in grief he's repenting repenting, you know to the Lord he's asking the Lord for forgiveness and And so this leads us into the topic of the broken home now even though God has given us a great framework of marriage and family even though he's given us these instructions and for the Past I don't know how many months I've been covering this this series on the family, you know I've taught you what the Bible teaches what God's expectation is for man and woman for the children, you know Husbands to love their wives wives to be submissive children to obey the parents etc Discipline, you know all those kinds of things that God tells us but here's the thing Even if you have that perfect marriage, even if you have that perfect framework and model Even if you're if your marriage right now lines up perfectly with the Bible You're still gonna have challenges in your marriage You're still gonna have problems in your marriage and the reason for that is not because God's method is wrong The reason for that is because we have the sinful flesh. We still have that old man We still have that flesh that is selfish Right, we said that flesh that seeks to go about doing things our own ways rather than doing things God's way Right, and so because of our selfishness we can cause problems in our marriage. We can cause challenges and Complications and so even if you have the perfect marriage according to God's but word You're still going to go through difficulties, right? You're still going to go through challenges now that's important to bring up because When you've got a broken home when you've got a blended family when you have a a marriage which does not line up exactly With the model that God has given us you're going to have not just those regular challenges Not just the regular problems of the married couple after the biblical model, but you're gonna have other complications You're gonna have other difficulties other problems right in your marriage then what God really wants it for you in your life But this is something that you just have to understand if you've come from this situation or you're in the situation and say well This is where I'm at God. This is how it is right now. You know, I made mistakes in the past What can I do except to you know? Say sorry to you except to confess that to you Lord now and please help me to move forward And so that's the the theme that's the topic that I want to cover today the broken home And so I've already covered what the ideal biblical family was and I and again I've covered this throughout the series and One thing that I want to first begin before I go into the broken home I want to talk about the blended family the blended family Now the idea behind a blended family, you know contrary to the biblical model that we have in the Bible a Blended family is when two families basically somehow come together Okay, and and there's basically a biblical way for you to have a blended family There's nothing wrong with with a certain way that the Bible tells us about a blended family Then there is another way which is common to too many Australians where they have a blended family But it's a blended family because of sin Okay Because of mistakes in the past and so the biblical model or the biblical based blended family is When someone becomes a widow, right? They're married They're married they have children and then let's say the husband passes away the husband passes away The wife now finds herself as a widow Well, you know the Bible instructs if a widow is under the age of 60 the Bible God encourages that woman to get remarried To get remarried and though she knows she might find a man who's not been married in the past Or she might find a man who's of himself a widow, you know and biblically they will be allowed to get married And so now you have a blended family situation where you have this married couple But then there are children that are not from that relationship There are children in that marriage I'm not from that relationship but from previous relationships right from from from the spouse that has passed away in the past That would be a blended family. But that is one that is biblical. That one is right. There's nothing sinful wrong about that That's exactly how God, you know desire desires a widow to go about you know Trying to find a husband or the other way around that if a man is a widow to find a wife And so that's a a biblical blended model but then we have the blended family because of sin right the blended family because of sin and This this is basically where you know, you you enter a marriage relationship you enter into a marriage But one of the or maybe both or one of the one of the spouses has has children from a previous relationship But not from a previous marriage, you know, it would maybe maybe fornication, you know Or maybe maybe divorce maybe divorce or fornication these kinds of things and you have a blended family where they come together But the reason why there's children outside of that situation is because of sin actually divorce I'm gonna cover that later on Okay But this is a situation where it's fornication because of sin One of the spouse of both the spouse have children then they get married And so once again, you have children in this family children in this relationship that are not a product of that marriage But a product of outside of that and so that's another blended family that we're going to you know Many there are many many Australians like this many many Australian families that are like this and it's it's a situation. It's a sin It's a problem But again when these people get saved when they realize they they you know, they get safe They realize what God says about the Bible then they they put themselves they go man the mistakes that I've made You know, they can beat themselves up and I don't want that to be the case I'm not preaching this to make anybody feel bad You know, I'm not preaching this if you've you know come from a divorce remarried Broken home you've had children out of wedlock or whatever, you know fornication, you know It's not good. We shouldn't go around celebrating that right, but there's you know, God can still use you right? You're not a waste of a person Okay, and many times people do this because we live in a society where they don't know any difference You know the once upon a time and this is before my time It was normal for a man and woman that loved each other like each other to get married now, they're encouraged, right? Oh, don't get married. Just yet. Just live together You know go buy a house together try before you buy to work it out If it doesn't work out, you know, don't don't get married if it works out then maybe you can get married and so by by encouraging this kind of behavior now, we have a society we have a generation of Blended families of broken homes these kinds of things because you know our nation has moved away From the model from the framework that God has given us in his word. And so My point is the point I'm trying to bring out of this. I want every marriage in this church to be a happy marriage I want every marriage to be one that lasts till death do us part, you know I want you to when you get old when you're lying on your deathbed to look back in life and say I had a Fantastic marriage praise God for my for my wife. Praise God for my husband. Praise God for my children That's what I want for you on this earth, right then we have all eternity in heaven But right now on this temporal plane, I want you to be able to just enjoy the marriage you have But I have to be real with you and tell you they are going to be problems There are going to be difficulties and again, I've really covered the the ideal scenario for many many series But when you have a blended family situation you create further complications further challenges, right? Say why is this so think about it if you're you know? Whether it's a biblical blended married or if the blended family because of sin there is going to be a Husband or a wife that has children in that marriage. That is not their own, right? They're not the biological parents of those children. And so that's going to bring further challenges, right and Let me just explain something. Let me explain that the biblical model here and then the the the model because of sin The advantage of the biblical model is this let's say let's say my wife passes away and I get remarried You know, well my children they're gonna have to mourn for mom They're gonna have to you know, keep her in a heart keep them in in the in in their memory But then I might get married right? I might get remarried. But here's the thing. There's a very clear transition for my children Right a very clear transition. That was our biological mother. That was mom, you know, she was our authority But this new woman that that's going to get married to that's now going to be our stepmother That's going to be the woman who has authority in this family and there's a clear division There's a clear separation there right because the first mother is gone. So that's the biblical model. So that creates Challenges that creates further complications, right? Because now that woman who normally when you get married It's it's a brand new stop and now that woman who if she gets married to me will have like 10 kids, right? To think about right? I mean, it's a big job right ten kids at once right that there's this and then you know having to to learn to love them learning to get the their Respect and and their obedience it's going to be much more difficult with children that have already grown up You know listening to other parents to then have to transition that to another person nothing wrong with I'm just saying there's challenges There's difficulties. Okay Well when you come to a blended family because of sin you have the same challenge But then you have a further complication. Okay, because those children were born out of fornication and Somewhere somewhere out there The biological parent is out there as well You don't have that smooth transition from mum who passed away to new mum Now you have new mum and you still have biological mum somewhere out there or biological dad somewhere out there who probably Still wants to be involved in their lives somewhere somehow Okay, probably and here's the thing about this was difficult with believers You know Christian families is that when when you know once they have come from blended families and things like this Is that sometimes that spouse or that that ex, you know, or you know that that that that biological father biological mother? Probably not believers and they want to spend time with the children. You're trying to instruct them with it with the Bible You're trying to teach them the way of God You're trying to tell them to do the right thing to stay away from the drugs and stay away from alcohol You know to stay away from worldliness and there comes the other father or the other mother, right? It says come on just you know, live it up, you know, let's go watch that horror movie Let's just you know Why you know and so they're trying to influence your children in a way which you would not want them to be influenced And so it presents another difficulty another challenge now When I say that there are these challenges I'm not saying it's impossible I'm not saying your marriage is gonna fail I'm not saying that your children gonna turn out like the devil or something. I'm not saying that I'm just trying to be real Right. I'm just saying look there's further challenges further difficulties that the marriage that follow the biblical model won't have again They will have their troubles normal family troubles. You're gonna have those same ones Plus all these other things that are added in right all the other complications and and relationships that are still out there because of the Blended family. All right so that's the blended family biblical and because of sin the next point that I want to get to is the Broken family or the broken home and this has to do and I know I've not gone through much scripture I will go for scripture later on But uh, this has to do with broken marriages You've made a vow in the past till death do us part and that's been broken Okay, and this can cause a blended family But it's broken in the sense that those marriage vows were broken because if you you know live in fornication You haven't made those vows Okay Now I just just very quickly one thing I did want to cover with a with a with a blended family one thing I want to cover very quickly is That you know, I have somebody who's that I'm very close to you know, my family who is Living with his girlfriend and they have their own children together, you know, and and Sometimes I hear because they're not saved right? I hear them say things like ah, you know, she just doesn't Listen to me, you know, she's just not submissive to me and then I hear her say well, you know Here's like this and he's like that and you know, he's not stable and and blah blah and I hear them You know arguing or pointing each other's faults out and say why isn't he more like this and why isn't she more like that? but they're not married, you know, and you know, it's one of these difficult things because She never made a vow to say that she would be submissive to you and You never made a vow to say that you'll love her sacrificially You never made a vow that say that you're going to be in charge gonna leave his family. So why is there any expectation whatsoever? One thing you need to understand about the biblical families is they start with the marriage the marriage the marriage Makes it husband and wife the marriage makes it a new family units That's what makes a family and if you know again, you know in this day and age we look at that relationship We call that a de facto relationship right out there boyfriends and girlfriends living together. Maybe having children together We say they're de facto they get the same legal status of someone that's married, you know But biblically they're not married biblically. They're not husband and wife. They've not made those vows biblically They're not a family even though they feel they're a family even though our society says they're a family but biblically They're not a family because they haven't been married. Okay, they've not exchanged those vows And so, you know, we need to understand what God says about this And so when I see de facto relationships and I see them argue and I'm like, what are you arguing about? You haven't made any commitment at least if my if my wife stops being submissive to me I can turn around say honey, remember the promise you made on our wedding day Alright, or if I stopped loving her the way that Christ loved the church She can say remember the vow that you made me before God before witnesses How can you say that in a de facto relationship? There was no vow. There was no promise, you know There is no promise that they're gonna stick around, right? So we need to understand that you know That is not a biblical family a biblical family is founded on the marriage and if the marriage does not have any children You know, some people struggle to have kids we see this even in the Bible. It's still a family It's still a family even if there are no children. It's the marriage. It's the husband and wife that creates the new family units, okay That leads into the broken family the broken home and again, this is not about abusive homes This is about broken homes where there's been divorce and remarriage or maybe just divorce or whatever, you know again, there are different Situations every everyone is in in different situations and if you go if you're still in Psalm 51 look at the verse number 3 Psalm 51 verse 3 and You know the difficulty with the broken family the broken vows is once again Yes, now these newt these children have to learn how to be respectful to this new parents, right Once again, the biological parents is out there somewhere, you know, the vows have been broken. They're out there somewhere Sometimes those other biological parents have been remarried Sometimes they are going to a marriage with a person who has their own children or they're having other children And so you've got these half brothers and half sisters And so, you know as as the family unit gets broken and more broken again There's these further threads that are out there, you know these connections and it's again it's going to cause more challenges more difficulties more complexities right in in your life and If you look at Psalm 51 verse 3 This is something you just need to understand. It's not going to go away You know these challenges these complexities look what's look what the pair David says he goes purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean Sorry, I mean the verse wrong verse sorry verse number three for I acknowledge my Transgressions and my sin is ever before me says David, right? So David once he got rebuked by the Prophet Nathan Nathaniel David was like look I acknowledge my transgressions Now that's what we should do. I'm not so much salvation here I'm talking about once we're saved once we're trying to walk in the Lord once we commit sin And you need to confess that before God to have a good relationship with the Father You need to acknowledge your sin and King David says here. Yes. I acknowledge that I've done wrong. I acknowledge my transgressions But then look what he says at the end. He says and my sin is ever before me. You know what he's saying He's saying he's not saying that God won't forgive him. He's not saying that this sin has not been paid for by Jesus Christ He's saying it's just ever before him You know one one sad thing about sin, especially when it comes to families is that Yes, the sins we've been paid for by Jesus Christ. Yes. God has forgiven you. Yes You need to stop beating yourself up about it. Yes, but many times the consequences of your sins are ever before you Sometimes you just can't fix it. It's just it's just a constant reminder it's constantly out there right and I'm saddened when I when I hear of Parents and and you know, they have to give their children. I'm talking about Christian parents. They have to give the previous Biological parent access to the children and and they're worried and then and they're just praying that they wouldn't be influenced negatively They wouldn't be influenced to be worldly and I my heart breaks for them But the thing is this sin is ever before them, you know This is like just a natural consequence of our sin, even though it's been forgiven. The consequences are still out there many times And it's a sad thing when it impacts families and impacts children, but this is just a reality You just have to accept that I come from a broken home. I've had broken marriage vows There might be other children out there Biological fathers and mothers out there and I just have to acknowledge that my sin is ever before me And you have to acknowledge it. You can't ignore it You have to acknowledge it because once you acknowledge it you'll be able to move on in life Once you just say this is just the reality of my life you just say well Lord I just need you to help me to move on to move past this Lord Please help me in these challenges these extra difficulties that I have in my life. Look at verse number seven He says purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean wash me and I shall be whiter Than snow. So of course, he's asking the forgiveness of God for what he's done and he says look I'm gonna be white as snow, but at the same time the sins ever before him Okay, the consequences the the the you know, the situation is always going to be there It's always going to be in his mind. And so if you look at verse number 10 verse number 10 I want to go through this psalm of David again. David's got that broken heart David's caused broken families broken vows broken relationships He's committed adultery. And so we see here how David fixes himself up We see how David lifts himself up goes before God and he's able to move forward in his life and we saw immediately You know If if you've made these kinds of mistakes in your past the first thing you need to do Acknowledge your sin and ask God to forgive you. Okay, ask God to forgive you and maybe you've already done that Praise God one thing that I see many people in this situation do wrongly though They know God has forgiven them, but then they don't forgive themselves Happens a lot They can't forgive themselves for what they've done and they beat themselves up and they get sorrow They have sorrow they get depressed and and they just can't do anything great for God because they're stuck in its prison You know, it's like but you know God has forgiven you Jesus was on the cross. He wore the crown of thorns He was whipped. He was beaten. He was crucified for you. He took it all he took on your sin He took my sin. He took on the sin of the whole world. It's been paid for You got to move on praise God that Jesus Christ has done that for us You know instead of you being punished for your divorces and remarriages and broken homes Jesus was punished for you, you know, and you need to move on but you know again I see these believers sometimes in a cage stuck. They don't know what to do and feel like they're a failure It's time to move on you've got to move on ask God to help you Verse number 10 verse number 10 Psalm 51 verse 10 says creating me a clean heart Oh God and Renew a right spirit within me So these believers that are constantly beating themselves up constantly sorrow. What do they need? They need right here They need their right spirit renewed. They need to say God, please renew in me the right spirit within me You know, God does not want you to go around just Constantly regretting what you've done constantly thinking about the past. We all have a past. Okay. I've grown up in a Christian home I've grown up in church. I have a past we all have the past We've all made mistakes in our lives all of us some people more than greater than others, but we've all made mistakes Right. We've all made mistakes And so when we get downcast when you think about the mistakes we've done you got to ask God to renew that right spirit in You right the Holy Spirit to give you the joy to give you the motivation to give you the zeal to be focused on the kingdom of God rather than your mistakes and then verse number 11 says cast me not away from thy presence and This is what happens when you commit sin as you commit sin because in God there is no darkness, right? God is lighting him. There is no darkness at all The Bible says so when we commit sin, we break fellowship with God the Father we break that fellowship and Sometimes if you go a long time committing sin long time not confessing your sin before God you're gonna feel like Where is God? Where is his presence? I just I don't know it. Where have you gone God, right? And this is what David is saying. He's saying cast me not away from my presence He wants to renew that relationship, you know, he confesses his sin He wants to have that clean heart and then it says and take not thy Holy Spirit from me So he wants to maintain a close fellowship a close walk with God And this is what you need to do to get past your broken families Your broken relationships is to be able to ask God for that relationship with him The greatest thing about having God as our father the greatest thing about having Jesus as our brother and our Savior is that you may You may never have the perfect biblical family, right? Maybe you grow grew up in the divorce situation Maybe now you just you can't get it back. How God wants it your own family, right? You've grown up in a messed up home You've got your own messed up home and you know I'm totally messed up the greatest thing about having God as your father is that you belong to a home You belong to a family a spiritual family that can never be broken Praise God you a father who will always be there You haven't got a father that might leave home or that gets drunk and beats up his kids or does anything stupid or you know? Cheats on his wife. Now you have God the Father who loves you God Who's made you a son of God who has a home for you in heaven has mansions on high And he's given you New Life Baptist Church here in Sydney so you can have brothers and sisters in the Lord You're part of God's family. That's the greatest thing about being saved We can mess up our temporary homes. We can you make big mistakes, but you can't mess up the home with God You know the blood of Jesus Christ that cleanses us from all sins brothers and sisters in the Lord it's the best family to be part of and Just like any family. We're not always going to get along We're not rub each other a little bit. I can't believe he did that. Why didn't he say hi to me one ship? I thought we're a family. Okay. We're a family because of Jesus Christ Praise God that a whole bunch of strangers can come together one building You know the only thing we have in common is Jesus Christ and we can have fellowship we can rejoice together We and we're part of that family we're gonna be forever get used to each other because you're gonna be together for all of Thousand years and then for all the new heavens and the new earth. However, you know eternity, you know Get used to it, right? It's gonna be like this forever. All right so That's number 12, please verse number 12. And this is so important. He says you in verse number 12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation and uphold me with thy free spirits So he's not saying that he's lost his salvation But David has lost something about his salvation. What was it the joy of his salvation? All right, the joy of the salvation of God and Think about the time you knew you definitely knew you got saved Think about the time you knew you didn't have to go to hell anymore Your sins have been paid for you realize it's a free gift and once I have it I can never lose it once you realize that that truth and that freedom that you had right that joy that you had You know praise God for that and sometimes people get very zealous very excited They just want to serve God with the rest of their life and then you know Just like any any any life you go through problems you go through persecution you go through hardships and you get cast down you become Self-centered you could become so focused and you can forget the joy of your salvation What a what a thing to join right because here's the thing again. I can mess up my life I can mess up my family, you know, I could maybe my kids might grow up one day and say dad I hate you want nothing to do with you. I mean, I hope that never happens I hope that I would never mess up that bad. All right, but I can truly mess up my life But no matter how much I mess up my life, even if I you know You know did something stupid and I and I lost my life at an early age right because of my stupidity because of my sin It's never going to be as bad as going to hell Never be as bad as going to hell and that's why the Bible says here that we can have a joy of salvation That should give us the greatest joy of all things When you're downcast when you're upset when you're beating yourself up for the mistakes in the past Just remember the joy of God's salvation that you have before you this is what's going to give you true joy in life Okay, it's not the money and the properties and and and the pleasures of this life What's going to give you true joy is when you can reflect back and look at the salvation that God has given you and we can Rejoice in your salvation You're gonna find you're gonna be able to rejoice in many many things even the smallest things Because you have the right priorities in life. Okay Rejoice in your salvation look at verse number 13 verse number 13 and This is great This is one of the best things you can do when you're upset when you're full of sorrow when you're full of regret He says in verse number 13, then will I teach? transgressors thy ways and Sinners shall be converted unto thee What did David say Lord forgive me? Let me move on Let me be in your presence Lord giving back the joy and once he has the joy because I'm going soul winning That's what he does right. He's going to convert the sinners unto God He says that I'm going to teach transgressors thy ways say what's the way Jesus I am the way the truth and the life no man come in front of the Father except by me said Jesus Christ You know what's going to help you in life if you're someone and I know all of us have different weaknesses There are some people that are very self-centered, right? There's two ways to be self-centered You got the selfish person who wants everything for themselves. They want to be the center of attention There is self-centered and then you have the self-centered person that is constantly What's the word I'm looking for Constantly Thinking negative thoughts about themselves, you know What does this person think of me if I go if I if I if I put on this piece of clothing? What will people say about me? They constantly think about what others think about them and normally when that's that's another way of being self-centered, right? And and this can cause again sorrow, you know, and you just focus on yourself You're looking at all your mistakes But the greatest thing the thing that I realize that gets me out of the times when I'm self-centered Is when I can be a help to other people when I can look at other people say well other people are going through Struggles as well other people are going through problems and one thing I didn't realize till I became a pastor You know when I was just a regular church person just sitting the pew I knew I had issues sometimes and I knew other people had issues But when I became a pastor people became more confident and you know with Mistakes that they've done in the past or situations. They're currently in and I realized man My church is made up of messed up people, right? My church is made up of people that are really struggling, you know And it breaks your heart when you think about that But you know what's good about it is then it helped me to be self-focused about my problems because many times my problems are Insignificant compared to what some other people are going through You know, I've got somebody in my church up in Queensland that doesn't know if they'll be alive in a couple of years You know, I can just think about how heavy that would be on their heart how much that would weigh on their shoulders You know when you start thinking about other people it's going to help you to overcome your own problems and we can help other people Praise God, you're gonna feel a lot better about yourself when you can lift other people up encourage other people You're gonna feel a lot more happier and when you go out soul winning and you convert people to Jesus Christ You're gonna feel fantastic That's another soul that is going to heaven. Praise God. They don't have to burn in hell for all eternity I'll see that person one day. Hey, they might not come to church. I might never see them again But I'm gonna see them in heaven Praise God and they're gonna come up to me in heaven and say thank you Remember that time you came to my house and knocked my door and gave me the gospel now It's gonna be awesome Alright but that's how you overcome the sorrow that we all have the difficulties by Focusing on other people by being a blessing I help to other people Look at verse number 15 if we can drop down to verse number 15. Oh Lord open thou my lips and my mouth show forth thy praise So this is another way so you help to people go soul winning But also lift up your hearts your praise your singing unto God and church is a great time You know, I know some you struggle to be here sometimes on time because of Sydney traffic going to work coming here But try to be here as early as you can But try to be here on time so we can you can be part of the singing But you know part of opening up the hymn books learning new songs singing praises to the Lord If you haven't got a hymn book at home, let me know. I'll give you some I'll let you take some home so you can learn these hymns. You can learn how to sing praises to God You know use your opportunity not just at church But in your family time to sing praise to God that will lift you out of the brokenness that you have look at verse number 17 This is where we started the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit a broken and a contrite heart Oh God that will not despise and then it says here in verse number 18 And I know this storm at Jerusalem But I want to take a spiritual lesson here verse number 18 do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion build thou the walls of Jerusalem We're back to where we started right with a broken heart and he says to God, you know build up the walls of Jerusalem You see King David was so scared was so worried that by his sin Like God will punish all of Jerusalem and you know in these days they would have these walls right around Jerusalem to protect them from the enemies so they wouldn't be overtaken and He was worried that these walls are gonna be broken down. This is God because of my sin Please keep these walls up. Keep it keep everyone in the city protected please Lord Was King David who was worried about his sin Now you're not a king you haven't got these walls around you You know Sydney, right and But one thing that you should be striving to do especially if you come out of a broken home Okay, that first marriage that that divorce or whatever, you know, those walls were broken down that marriage, you know That those vows they were broken those walls broke down Okay, and I'm sure it was hard. I'm sure was very sad and I'm sure if there were children involved it broke them as well Right what I don't want from you though, if you are in the situation, I don't want your new marriage You know, I don't want your current situation to break down I want those walls and I'm sure you want your walls of your new marriage You know This is a new new husband your new wife these walls to be strengthened by the Lord and ask the Lord there I said look ask the Lord. No, what was it? He said I'm in verse number 20 Sorry 18 build thou the walls of Jerusalem says to God you build the walls God and This is what you need. And if you're this is your first marriage ask God again build the walls of your marriage build them up Protect your marriage protect your family Don't let these walls break down. Don't it because it's going to destroy you. It's going to hurt you It's gonna hurt the children that go through these Situations and if you find yourself coming out of a broken home Just thank God for where you are now and ask God to build up these walls so they don't break down again, okay so One thing if you guys please go to Matthew 1 Matthew 1 verse 19 Matthew chapter 1 verse 19. Let's just move on here and we'll look at say a blended home situation here in the Bible in Matthew chapter 1 and And this goes for both broken and blended homes Is one thing you need to understand if you if you're someone from a blended family or a broken home If you're the father if you're the husband you are the head this hasn't changed You are the head of your family. You are the head of your wife God is holding you accountable for that woman and those children that are in this family units Okay, it doesn't matter if they're your biological children or not. God's holding you accountable You need to take charge of the situation even though I know it's more difficult It's more complicated to do that look at Matthew chapter 1 verse 19. It says here This is the story of Jesus of course Then Joseph her husband being a just man and not willing to make her a public example was minded to put her away Privately, so this is divorce. We're putting someone away is divorced in the Bible and so he wanted to basically divorce Mary He didn't want to make it a public example because obviously he loved Mary and Joseph he didn't know at this point in time He didn't know that this was something a miracle that this was of God. He thought Mary had cheated on him He thought Mary had been unfaithful Right and so he's going to put her away privately look at verse number 20 And while he thought on these things behold the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream saying Joseph our son of David fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife For that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost Look at verse 21, and she shall bring forth a son and thou who's thou Joseph thou Joseph, right? Shall call his name Jesus, and he shall save his people from their sins You see this angel of God comes to Joseph and goes Joseph. I know you're not the biological father here Jesus all right. This is this is a miracle that God has done to Mary Even though you're not the biological father Joseph. You're in charge. I'm holding you accountable I'm giving you direction you Joseph you got to call that child that is born of Mary Jesus You see how God holds the father the husband accountable even though he's not the biological father of Jesus in verse number 2021 and She shall sorry verse number 22 now all this was done that he might be fulfilled in which was spoken of the Lord by the Prophet saying behold a virgin shall be with child and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel Which being interpreted is God with us look at verse number 24 then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bitten him and Took unto him his wife and knew her not till she brought forth her first one son, and he called his name Jesus who called his name Jesus Joseph right God said Joseph not your biological son But you're in charge You're the husband you're that man of this house and Joseph goes all right God You tell me what to do and I'll do it man Joseph had a good character right he had good leadership skills Would have been hard for Joseph. No doubt. We've been super hard right This is not my biological biological son But what I want to bring home there just just very quickly and I sometimes I see this again We've blended or broken home families is sometimes the husband doesn't feel like he has authority in the home It doesn't feel like he has a respect of the children at home and what I'm saying to you Wives if your husband's from this situation you've got to encourage him You've got to make sure he knows he's in charge even if they're not his biological children, okay? He's the head of the home, and you've got to give him the respect you've got to be submissive to his authority God does it for Joseph. You know you should be able to do it for your husband So he can take charge of his family now in summary. Please go to Proverbs Let me just think now go to 2nd Samuel chapter 7 please 2nd Samuel chapter 7 go there and just in summary Again my intention for this sermon is not to bring back if you've been from a broken situation Not to bring you back into guilt or sorrow or bring back bad memories of your past mistakes. That's not my point, okay? I just want you to understand that God can still use you in your family situation alright And there are many people in the in the Bible that had broken homes broken situations many men took on multiple wives You know some of these men you know Abraham, you know Jacob married two sisters They had family problems you know King David We saw what King David did you know Gideon Gideon in the Bible great warrior used by God had multiple wives Elkanah Elkanah that was Hannah's husband, and you know she couldn't get you know She couldn't have children for a long time, and he was married to another woman that had other children King Solomon King Solomon 700 wives 300 concubines right basically a thousand wives You know I mean these people had broken homes You know they had situations that were not the biblical model for a marriage and yet How many of these names do you know how many of these names are held up as godly men faithful men why? Because even though they've made mistakes in the past God was still able to use them and let me just say to you even if you've made mistakes in your past God still wants to use you Right God can still work in you in fact you might be able to do greater works for God in this kingdom Then the one that comes from a perfect biblical model of marriage Possible it's highly possible You guys are in second Samuel chapter 7 I'm going to read to you very quickly from Proverbs 31 verse 1 we've gone through this passage many times in this series of the Family but Proverbs 31 one says the words of King Lemuel And that's that's Solomon the prophecy that his mother taught him his mother was Bathsheba his mother was the adulterous woman That slept with King David Okay That his mother taught him and she says what my son and what the son of my womb and what the son of my vows Give not thy strength unto women nor thy ways to that which destroyeth Kings we see this adulterous woman with a broken home with a broken marriage and God records her words Inspired words by the Holy Spirit have been recorded for us in the Bible and she's given good Godly biblical counsel to her son about the dangers of women you know fornicating and the dangers of alcohol Okay, good. Godly counsel. She gives look at second sandwich after 7 verse 12 It says here second sandwich after 7 verse 12 again. Her son was Solomon of course right this is here When the days be fulfilled and thou shalt sleep with thy fathers I will set up thy seed this is God speaking up thy seed after thee Which shall proceed out of thy bowels and I will establish his kingdom This is David's son all right God is saying to King David that out of your bowels and going to establish his kingdom and of course the first in The first application of this is King Solomon because King Solomon would succeed from King David as the next king But let's keep going verse number 13. He shall build an house for my name That again was King Solomon who built a house who built the temple of God right and then it says this and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever Forever listen let me ask you something King Solomon's mother was Bathsheba the adulterous woman God says to King David that his kingdom will be established forever now. Let me ask you something is King Solomon alive today No He didn't he's not on the king who's the king of Israel right now in the nation of Israel. Is there a king there? No, so we've gone from the first application This is a double double double application of a of a teaching here where it began about Solomon And now it's gone to Jesus Christ because Jesus Christ is the king of the Jews Jesus Christ is the king of kings and is the throne is the kingdom of Jesus Christ that will be established forever Look at verse number 14. I will be his father and he shall be my son Now this is about King Solomon if he committed iniquity I would chasten him with the rod of men and with the stripes of the children of men But my mercy shall not depart away from him as I took it from Saul whom I put away before thee and Thine house and thy kingdom Shall be established forever Before thee thy throne shall be established forever Now why are you reading that? because out of the broken home was later born King Solomon and From King Solomon that lineage from the broken home from the adulterous woman would lead us to Jesus Christ To Jesus Christ the savior of all men the king of kings Don't tell me God can't use the broken home. Don't tell me God can't use you because you've made big mistakes So did Bathsheba so did King David and you know what God promised Jesus Christ will come from your lineage These are the ancestors of Jesus Christ and they made some big mistakes big mistakes probably bigger mistakes than you've made Alright many of these people that we read about God can still use you And I'm going to quickly read to you from Matthew 1 you can turn there if you want Matthew 1 1 I should have told you to stay there Matthew 1 1 just very quickly the book of the generation of Jesus Christ Okay, the son of David the son of Abraham Abraham begat Isaac and Isaac begat Jacob and Jacob begat Judas and his brethren and Judas begat fairies and Zara of Tamar and fairies begat Ezra and Ezra begot Aaron and Aaron begat a minute and a minute that and a minute that begat nails on and they also begat salmon and salmon begat Boaz of Rakab and Boaz begat Obed of Ruth and over begat Jesse and Jesse begat David the king and David look at this the king begat Solomon of her that had been the wife of Urias and Solomon begat Reboam and Reboam begat Abia and Abia begat Asa The lineage of Jesus Christ who gets acknowledged the adulterous woman the woman who was the wife of Urias She messed up. She broke her home. She broke her vows King David messed up and yet the Bible puts their names Mentions her in the passages. Okay leading up to the great story of Jesus Christ Okay, so I'm gonna end there guys. I just want to reiterate I'm sorry, if you've come from my broken home. I'm sorry when you've made bad mistakes in life and I'm just being honest with you. You're gonna have further challenges It's gonna be more difficult meaning you you're gonna have to put more work More work to have a great marriage more work to have a fruitful marriage and just this is just just say to yourself This is the situation. I'm in What is the biblical model? We've gone through the biblical model. How well can I now? I know it's never gonna fit perfectly But how well can I take the situation I'm in and apply that how God initially, you know wanted it to be Can I make it that way? Hey good if there are things you can do to line that up do it You know that's gonna help you in your marriage It's gonna help you to overcome these challenges, but always understand you're never gonna have it perfect Okay, and just because you can't have it perfect doesn't mean that God doesn't want to use you God can use you in a great way. All right, let's pray