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The title for the sermon today is friendship, okay. Title for the sermon today is friendship. Look at the last verse there in Proverbs chapter 18. It says, a man that have friends must show him so friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. The Bible does have a lot to say about friendship, and you know, friendships are great. I mean, God created us to be social creatures when he created Adam. Remember, God said it's not good for a man to be alone. And so he brought, hey, Adam's best friend, the only friend that he had, which was Eve. There's no one else that he could choose from. Not only was she her friend, she married her. And you know, God has created us to be social creatures. We, you know, we can't think that we can live this life. And you know, sometimes I guess in the COVID world that we're in, you know, that the whole idea of the self-isolation at home, and then we have the internet and the social media, and we feel like we're contributing to society just by posting a Facebook post, right? You kind of feel like you're protesting against unlawful deeds by sharing some posts about some protests. It's like, we're just stuck in the house. We haven't done anything. And you know, we're being pushed and pushed and pushed in society to just be stuck at home and not really socialize, not really make friendships. The Bible has a lot to say about being friends. And you know, God expects us to socialize. That's why church is so good. You know, we can come to a place where we have the same love for the Lord God, the same salvation in Jesus Christ. We're brothers and sisters in the Lord. It's so good to be able to socialize. And it doesn't really matter in church whether someone's older or someone's younger. Hey, we still have that connection in Jesus Christ. We're brothers and sisters. Well, let's get used to each other now because we're going to see each other for all eternity. Okay, so God has created us to be social creatures. As I said, the title for the sermon this afternoon is friendship. All right, so let's look at that proverb once again. Proverb is chapter 18, verse 24. Let's read it carefully. Now, basically, I've just got some points on friendship. You know, I don't know if they necessarily all make sense or if there's any kind of special order here. Just some thoughts that I've taken away from some passages that I read. But you know, a lot of people, you know, we have different types of people, don't we, in the world. We have the introvert and we have the extrovert. We often say the extrovert is outgoing and, you know, he doesn't mind, the extrovert doesn't mind getting embarrassed and, you know, it doesn't really matter like that. They enjoy other people's company. The extrovert are normally said to have a lot of friends. And the introvert, you know, I like to keep to myself and I'm an introvert, I'll tell you the honest truth. I'm an introvert. But you know, I push myself to make friends. I push myself to be a little bit more outgoing. You know, when I stand behind this book but this isn't my natural way of speaking. I push myself to be a pastor, to be a teacher, to be a preacher, to communicate as clearly as I can. And sometimes I do get into introverted thinking and I think, man, you know, what are people thinking about me? But really the point of being behind this pulpit is to proclaim God's word. And so we have introverted and there are strengths and weaknesses. Yes, there are strengths of extroverts. They can make friends easier but they've got weaknesses as well, okay. And introverts, yeah, okay, you've got that, you know, that weakness. So it's harder to make friends, harder to be outgoing but you've got positive things as well, okay. And so it doesn't really matter what you are. The simple truth is we all desire friendship. We all desire to be social. And, you know, unfortunately again, we've got these phones and, you know, this is our life now, right? This is my life. And look at all my friends that have got a Facebook, wow. Hey man, we got, what is that? Is that seven people listening on, man, these seven people listening online right now, this is my church, amen. Listen, for those listening online, I love you as well but you know, God wants us to interact with people, okay, not just be like this all day. It's gonna destroy your mind. It's gonna destroy your eyes. You know, you're not gonna be what God created from you. And so, you know, the introverted might say, well, you know, it's hard for me to make friends, you know, and you're maybe a little bit embarrassed. You don't want people to just note, look, we all have faults. Like none of us are perfect. We all have issues. And sometimes the introverted are the one who hides a little issue. Everyone's gonna find it eventually, you know, your defects and everything, you know, especially if you're in a church environment. We see everybody every week. We're gonna start to notice all the little cracks, all the little defects in each other, okay. So why not just make friends? Because if you make friends, friends can help you. Friends will overlook those kinds of issues. And if you're struggling to make friends, the Bible makes it very clear, right, that you take the first step. Sometimes people don't make friends, oh, she doesn't wanna talk to me. He doesn't wanna talk to me. I come to church, he didn't say hello, so I'm not gonna say hello. No, that's not what the Bible teaches. Look at this. A man that have friends must show himself friendly. Brevin, if you got no friends, you have to step out. You have to take the first step. You have to show yourself to be a friendly person. I mean, think about the people you consider friends. You know, aren't they like a blessing to you? Aren't they kind of friendly? Isn't it enjoyable to be around these people? That's why they're your friends. Like if you just found someone to be completely, you know, depressing and they don't talk to you, they want nothing to do with you, you wouldn't really call that person a friend, would you? The fact that you've got a friend is that this person has shown himself friendly toward me. Well, if you wanna make friends, you've gotta show yourself friendly. You've gotta force yourself. You say, I'm not really a friendly person. Make yourself friendly. Pretend to be friendly for a while, okay? Be friendly. So look, a man that have friends must show himself friendly. Don't blame everyone else that you got no friends. It's you, it's on you. You need to step out and make friends. You have to step out and show yourself to be a friendly person. Then people will be attracted to you on that social level. But then the next part of the verse says this. And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. There's a few interesting things there. So the first part of the proverb says, a man that have friends, friends, okay? Now, brethren, I have friends. In fact, I consider all of you my friend. Honestly, I consider all of you my friend, okay? I know you're my brother and sisters in the Lord. I know you're my church members, but I look at you as my friends. Like, I kind of feel like that if you guys need something and I can help you, that I would go my way to try to help you. That's what I feel. And I also feel that if I have help, sorry, if I have needs, I kind of feel like that any of you would be willing to take your shirt off your back and help me. I don't know if that's true, but that's what I think, okay? I look at you all as not just church members, not just as brothers and sisters. I look at you as friends, okay? But then it says the second part, and there is a friend. So there's friends, and then there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. What this is addressing is your run-of-the-mill general friends and a best friend, okay? Where some people might have, this is my best friend, or you might have two or three best friends. You may have several friends, but you've got some that are just your best friends where you feel a little bit closer to, but you know, so the Bible's addressing this issue, right? And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. And this is why I like to think of you guys not just as brethren, but as friends as well, because then it adds that element of the social gathering. It adds that element of care and appreciation. And you know, friends stick around. Now, one of the problems that we create in our society is because we send so many of our kids, obviously a lot of our kids in this church are homeschooled, but you know, we tend to send our kids to a public school system. And me too, I was in even a private school system. You know, you start to develop this idea that my friends are the people in my grade, the people in my year. And even within your year, I remember this, you know, the people that would make friends, at least in my school, were people that were interested in the same music. So if people were into rock and roll, all the rock and roll guys would be friends. If someone in a group was interested in R&B, all the R&B guys would be friends, right? If someone was interested in our computers and IT and all the nerds would get together, right? If someone was like into sports, all the sporty guys would get together, right? I mean, I can only make friends with my same age group. I can only make friends with the same interests. But I actually found over the years, the most interesting friends, the friends that I like to talk to the most have nothing in common with me. That's actually what I started to learn, that I actually appreciate them even more. Why? Because if someone is just like me and loves everything just like me, surely we'll get along here, but we've got nothing to talk about. Because it's all the same. It's all common ground. Like there's nothing new. Whereas if you've got someone that is like completely different, you can actually learn new things. You know, you can communicate your interests and they will learn about you and you can learn about them. And I found out as the years go on, actually, it's more interesting to have people that have all different types of interests. You know, it helps me get educated, it helps me learn, it helps me appreciate the differences that are within human beings. It doesn't matter how old you are, I feel like I could get along with anybody. You know, and I consider even the children, even if they're not my kids, you know, my friends in this church. It really doesn't matter to me, okay? But you see there that we must show ourselves to be friendly, okay? So you wanna be nice. If you wanna make friends, hey, show yourself to be a nice person. Show yourself to be a blessing. You know, some of the things that I learned is, you know, not only do you need to show initiative, but show interest in other people. So if you've got someone that's come to church for the first time, we have a first time visitor right now, okay? Where you might, you know, you might say, well, I don't know this person. Or, you know, do I really go up to, you know, one of the best things to do is just to ask about them. Like most people, you know, they don't mind sharing a bit about their life, right? Oh, so, you know, what do you do for work? Oh, so where'd you grow up? You know, do you go to church anywhere? You know, would you be 100% sure that if you were to die today, you'd go to heaven? You know, you start asking these kinds of questions and, you know, so are you married? Do you have kids? Do you have family? Who do you live with? You know, people are generally okay with sharing this stuff. And, you know, you're not just asking those questions just for an opening, but actually what you're demonstrating to someone is that you're showing interest in them, that you care about them. And listen, when you start to do that, you actually do start to care about them, okay? You may not have started caring about them, but as you start to learn about their life and their challenges and what they're going through, that starts to automatically organically start to have a care for someone else. And then when I found, hey, the second time you meet that person, hey, bring up the same things that were brought up last time. Oh, so you said, you know, you go to work to X, Y, and Z. You know, how was work this week? What'd you get up to? Oh, I had this challenge, I had this challenge. Okay, I'll remember that. Next week, so did you address that challenge? You had this issue or, you know, and you just start to show people that you're interested in them. Hey, this is showing yourself to be friendly, okay? Showing yourself to be friendly. The other thing you can do is just do something nice. You know, ask, you know, take some, hey, come out for lunch today. You know, I'll show you some lunch, right? Trying to get to know someone better. Be a blessing. Just show that you care about them, brethren, and you'll develop friendships. Now, as I said to you, the first part of this problem is have friends. Have a lot of friends, okay? And then there is a friend that's thinking of closer than a brother. Now, the misunderstanding of this verse is to say, well, hold on. For someone like me, I'm married, okay? I've got a wife and kids, all right? So that's my family. I guess closer than a brother would be your family. So am I then to have a friend that is closer to my family? Now, it could be that way. It could be that maybe your family don't care much about you, okay? It might be that you may just feel closer to saved brethren, for example, a saved friend, someone that is a Christian, someone that knows Jesus, then maybe an ungodly family that you're part of. But what I found, this verse, sometimes being used incorrectly, is to say, well, I can have a friend that is closer than my spouse, okay? And what happens, and I've seen this in the world, I've seen this in the Christian life, where ladies will get together, okay, and complain about their husbands, okay? Complain about all their husbands. Well, I've got a friend that's closer than my brother. I've got a friend that's closer than my husband. Take your Bibles, please, and turn to Song of Solomon. Turn to Song of Solomon, chapter five, please. The book of Song of Solomon, or some Bibles might say Song of Songs, but Song of Solomon, chapter five, please, and verse number 16. Song of Solomon, chapter five, and verse number 16. Now, if you don't know the Song of Solomon, it's a song, surprise, it's a song, it's a love song between a husband and a wife, okay, written by Solomon. And I want you to notice verse number 16 here, Song of Solomon, chapter five, and verse number 16. This is the wife speaking to her friends, okay, her girlfriends. This is what she says to her friends. He's speaking about her husband. His mouth is most sweet. Yea, he's altogether lovely. Does that sound like she's complaining about her husband to her friends? Can you believe my husband left the toilet seat down, no, up, what do we do? Can you believe my husband left the toilet seat up? And even when he puts a toilet roll, it's the wrong way. So it should be that way, it should be, well, you know, he leaves, you know, he walks into the house, he leaves his shoes there, you know, and you know, I've told him so many times, and my husband just, but look, I've got a friend that's closer than my brother. I've got a friend, my best friend, I've gotta go to you and complain about my husband, my family, because that's what my best friend's for. You gotta be careful about this, okay, you gotta be careful about this, okay? What is the wife in Song of Solomon doing? She's praising her husband. I've got a lovely husband, okay? I love kissing my husband, she's basically saying. Little bit too romantic, well, Valentine's Day is coming up, okay? But then she says this, this is my beloved. She said, I love my husband. He's my love, he's my true love. And then she says, and this is my friend. She says, my husband is my friend, okay? And then she says, oh, daughters of Jerusalem. So she's speaking to the daughters of Jerusalem. She's speaking to the ladies, she's speaking to lady friends, right? She says to the lady, you know what, my husband is my best friend. My husband is my love. I love my husband so much. He's such a blessing to me. Unfortunately, generally speaking, ladies don't speak like this, okay? You know, I've shared with you many times that I've worked in a call center environment. In a call center, you have a lot of ladies, and I'm telling you, they'd come in frustrated, angry, you can't, you won't believe my husband, all right? You won't believe my husband has done this, and I was like, oh, come on, shut up, get to work. Stop whining and complaining, everyone's got problems. Everyone's got faults, you know? I mean, I don't know if my wife's gone around to the ladies in the church. Oh, my husband, I don't think so. But you know, it's ugly. It's not how God wants us to be, okay? You know what? This wife says, my husband is my friend, oh, daughters of Jerusalem. She doesn't even call the ladies my friend. She says, this is my friend, okay? This is my best friend. And you know what? If you're married, you better look at your spouse, whether it's your wife to a husband or husband to a wife, and say, this is my friend. This is my beloved. You better talk to your mates or your lady friends that you've got out there and say, I love my husband. He's lovely, he's great, he's a blessing. And the men should be saying to their friends, you know, my wife, she's great, she's wonderful. You know, and you speak about their positive attributes and you praise God for the good things that they accomplish and the good things they've done to you. And you say, but what if there's issues? There's always issues. We're human beings, we're sinners, there's always problems. But you look at your spouse and say, you know what? This is my friend. And you know what? Friends will overlook problems. Friends would help someone else go through the struggles that they're going through. You know what? Your spouse ought to be your best friend. You marry your love, great. Love, you know? Love can sometimes change over the years. You know, when you're a teenager, you've got those butterfly feelings, I'm so in love. You know? Well, you get older and you see them every day and you see their faults and you're not gonna have those feelings, but you know what you'll have? You'll have love. And your love will grow, your love will change. You know, I haven't got the same teenage feelings and emotions that I used to have for my wife, but I love her more than I've ever loved her. Okay? Because love is more than just having nice butterfly feelings in your tummy. Whatever it is, right? You know what? My wife is my friend. You're not gonna hear me whining and complaining about my wife. Okay? And ladies, you shouldn't be whining and complaining about your husbands to the other ladies. Okay? This is my friend, old daughters of Jerusalem. I love that. I love this part of the Song of Solomon. Everyone has faults. Everyone has strengths. Everyone has weaknesses. Everyone has something that is positive. Everyone has things that are negative. What are you gonna dwell on? When you communicate about your spouse, you know, are you gonna focus on the positives or are you gonna focus on the negatives? The Bible wants us to, of course, proclaim and exalt the spouse that we're married to. Can you please turn to Colossians chapter three? Colossians chapter three, please. Colossians chapter three. Say, but pastor, you don't understand. My husband, you know, he's got these, you know, yeah, okay, he's my, you know, I loved him. Yeah, sometimes it does good things for me, but oh man, I just, it's been 20 years, pastor, and he's still doing X, Y, and Z. You know, first of all, if you came to me about that, I wouldn't hear it. I'd be like, you know what, it's got nothing to do with me. You know, if you've got some issues with your husband, go talk to your husband. Okay? You know what? If you've got some issues with your husband, go talk to your husband. Okay, go and share those concerns with him. And if your husband won't hear you, go and share those concerns with Jesus. Now go tell the Lord, hey, can you please help my husband? You know, he's my authority. I'm trying to be submissive. I'm trying to follow his lead, but Lord, he's your servant. Can you please fix him up in his areas that he won't change? Leave it in the hands of Jesus Christ. But you know what? As I said to you, because we've all got faults, we've all got problems. When it comes to friendships, I'm talking about marriage, but your marriage should be your friend anyway, okay? But here's the thing. You need to learn to be forgiven as well, okay? When your friends do you wrong, okay, you need to be forgiven. I say, of course, of course, yeah. But here's the thing. When your friends do you wrong, it hurts you more than just any other random person. You know, a random person can do you wrong, can be a little bit hurtful, but when your friend does you wrong, it hurts even more, doesn't it? Okay? It hurts even more. Colossians 3, verse 12. Colossians chapter three, verse 12. The Bible reads, Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering, forbearing one another. Bear with each other. Why is that there? Forbearing one, it's there because God knows that our friends have defects. God knows that our friends have problems. God knows that your friends are gonna let you down. So you forbear with them. You put up with them for a while. And then it says, and forgiving one another. Sometimes they're gonna do you wrong. Sometimes they're going to promise something and not deliver. You know what? Forgive one another. If any man have a quarrel against enemy, look at this, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Reverend, I don't care how much your friend has hurt you, you've hurt God even more. Every sin you've committed, yes, some sins we commit against people, against different people, but every sin we've committed, because what is sin? Sin is the transgression of the law. Every sin, every transgression is against the law of God. Whatever sin you commit, ultimately you have sinned against the Lord God. Okay, so maybe your wife has done 10 horrible things to you. Okay, the Bible says forgive her. Why? Because you've done thousands upon thousands of horrible things against God. Okay, and if God is willing to forgive you, then you learn to forgive your friend, whoever has hurt you. And no, it's not easy. It's not easy, okay? You gotta remember, the Bible's written for us to do action, to do something. Like, if it was easy or automatic, it wouldn't need to be there, okay? It's there so we can, okay. It's there because naturally, we don't want to do these things. It's there because naturally I'm not kind. Naturally I'm not merciful. Naturally I'm not humble. Naturally I'm not meek. Naturally I'm not long-suffering. You know, normally when something goes wrong, I start to get frustrated and upset, and my pride gets in the way, my ego gets in the way. It's here so God can remind us that, listen, we need to forbear. We need to put up with one another. We need to forgive one another. Sometimes we can forgive everybody, every strange person, but it's hard to forgive our friends because as I said to you, it hurts more when they do what others might do, okay? And then you may not have that desire to forgive them. The Bible says, forgive them. Have a quick resolution, okay? Don't give your friend a cold shoulder. I don't know if you've experienced this. I know I have. I know some other people have shared with me they have, where they might have a friend, and you know, today, it's all great and wonderful and we're having fun. The next day, they give you the cold shoulder. You know, they don't acknowledge you. They don't look at you. You know, you might even go up to them and they walk away, okay? You know, they give you that cold shoulder and you're like, what's happened? Like we were just like great friends yesterday and today when, what's going on, okay? And the worst thing, you know what? The person that's giving the cold shoulder, the reason they're doing that, I'm not saying it's fine, it's good. The reason they're doing it is because something has bothered them about you. But here's the thing, because they don't communicate, you don't know. You're like, what's going on? What's the issue? You know what, if your friend, you know, if your friend has done something wrong to you, you need to resolve it quickly. You know, you wanna maintain that friendship. You know, friendship, it's hard to, you know, it takes work, it takes effort to build. You know, you don't want some minor issue to cause damage in your relationship. You know, be someone that is quick for resolution, quick for forgiveness. You know, don't give somebody the cold shoulder. Jesus Christ says in Matthew 18, 15, moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone. And he, sorry, if he shall hear thee, thou has gained thy brother. This is such good instruction. You know what? I think in the world that I live today, in experiences that I've had over the past few years, especially as a pastor, especially when I see friends fight or even people within the church arguing and fight. You know what? I just look at this verse. It is so easy, but people don't wanna do it. Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone. Why? If he shall hear thee, thou has gained thy brother. Brevin, if your friend has wronged you, go and tell them. Don't, like, just, you know, keep it inside and keep your mouth shut. Don't go and tell everybody else. It's the point of going and telling everyone else. Go and tell him alone. That's instruction that God gives us. Brevin, you've gotta be forgiven, okay? And if there's been an issue with your friends, your friendship, you need to go and deal with it straight away, okay? Go and tell them alone. Don't go and tell all your other friends. If you go and tell all your other friends, you're just gonna make it worse, okay? You might make it to a point where it can't even be resolved, okay? Go and deal with the issue alone. All right, next point that I have for you, please turn to Ephesians chapter four, Ephesians chapter four. And I guess in some ways, this is probably similar to the previous point, be forgiven. But the next point that I have for you, Brevin, is maintain peace, maintain peace. Yes, forgiveness is good, but forgiveness is needed when there's a conflict or a break in the friendship. Hey, instead of allowing that friendship to break or have some damage, just try to maintain the peace before that happens, okay? Maintain the peace. As I said to you, they have faults. Your friend have faults, okay? They have weaknesses. You know you've got your own, okay? And it says here in Ephesians four, verse two, Ephesians four, verse two, with all lowliness and meekness, with long suffering, forbearing, that's that word again, forbearing one another in love. Endeavoring, and the idea of endeavor, like, you know, if you say, I'm endeavoring to do something, what are you saying? I'm trying hard. This doesn't come easy, right? It requires effort. Endeavoring to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. Brethren, what's gonna keep your friendships together and close? Well, you're gonna have to create a bond. And that bond here, brethren, is the bond of peace, the bond of peace. Listen, brethren, if you've got a friend, do whatever you can. Endeavor to keep the unity of the spirit. Endeavor to keep that bond of peace. Don't allow your friendships to crack and be destroyed. You know, value the friendships that God has given you. You know, again, God has made us to be social creatures. You know, God has given us friends to encourage us, to motivate us, to feel love, but then also for us to encourage, to motivate, to share love to our friends. Can you turn to Proverbs 27? Proverbs 27, verse number 17. Proverbs chapter 27 and verse number 17, please. Proverbs 27 and verse number 17. This one's a familiar passage. And the Bible says in Proverbs 27, 17, iron sharpener of iron. Now, before we keep reading the rest of it, quite often people within our church or like-minded believers will quote this iron sharpener of iron. The idea, and it's true. You can definitely apply. I've always said to you guys, there's one truth in the Bible, but many applications. So you can apply it, okay? I'm not saying this, you can't. Some people look at this iron sharpener of iron and say, well, see, you know, I've got doctrines, I've got beliefs. You've got doctrines, you've got beliefs. And you know, if we just talk about it and we just, you know, open the Bible together, you know, you're gonna make me sharper in my doctrines. You're gonna help me understand this. We can support one another. And that's all true. You can apply in that way. Or if two of us go soul winning, you know, if I observe you, I might be able to learn some good things or you can observe me. You know, we can help sharpen one another. Of course, all of that is true. But let's not remove it from what it says here, okay? It says, iron sharpener of iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Okay, iron sharpener of iron. You know, when it comes to your friends, you ought to look at your friends as basically an iron, like a blade, okay? And you yourself, you're a blade in a sense, okay? An iron blade. And we're here to sharpen one another, okay? Am I here to sharpen you in doctrine? I guess so. I guess I'm preaching God's word. I'm preaching doctrine to you. But really it says, so a man sharpeneth the countenance. Obviously, and what's the countenance? The countenance is basically your face, okay? So what it's saying here is, friends will encourage one another, will motivate one another. You know, when we talk about someone's face, you're talking about their outlook, you know? You're talking about whether this person is in a negative state, in a sad and depressed state, or whether this person is a positive, you know, with a positive outlook, you know, with joy and happiness. The Bible says that friends are here to help us be encouraged. You know, friends are here to help us be positive minded. And brethren, you gotta be careful, because sometimes, and I'm not saying, look, your friends are gonna have times of depression, your friends are gonna have times of stress, and you're gonna come alongside and it's not always gonna be positive for you, okay? That's fine, you know? These are seasonal things. Your friends are gonna be happy sometimes, they're gonna be upset sometimes. Great, you know? Because your friends, you're there to support one another. You gotta be careful, there are some friends that'll keep you in a place of depression. There are some friends that'll keep you in a place of negativity. Well, actually, the Bible, that's not a friend, okay? Because a friend is one that sharpens, iron sharpened with iron, okay? Someone that helps your countenance, someone that helps your outlook. So you might go, friend, look, I gotta talk to you about this issue that I've got, and you know, I'm going through this problem, I'm going through this hardship, and you know what, the friend will come along and say, look, you know what? Those hardships that you've got, I'll pray about it. But listen, at the same time, look at all the positives that you have. Look at all the blessings that you have. Look at how God has blessed you over the years. You know, set your mind upon these great truths, you know? And a friend is there to encourage, to lift, to improve someone's countenance, your outlook to life. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4, 9, two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up. Why are two better than one? Why is having a friend better than having no friends? Because when you fall, the other person can lift you up. They can support you, okay? And when they fall, you can support them, okay? You've got the help, that's what friendship's for. That's why I look at all of you, I just think you're my friends, okay? Again, I might have more, I have closer interest, and I might get along with some better than others, but honestly, I look at you and I think you're all my friends, you know? I truly believe that if I was struggling, you guys will come along and help me out. That's what I think. Or if you're struggling, I do everything that I could to come and help you out, okay? And I feel the same for New Life Baptist Church. I look at the whole church, and I think, hey, these guys are my friends, okay? I'm not necessarily looking for who's my best friend, because I look at my wife and I think that's my best friend, you know? I look at what friends can I spend time with? I look at my 11 children, I think, man, I've got 11 kids to spend time with. These are my friends, these are the people that God wants me to be invested in, but then I look at everybody that's my brother and sister, these are all my friends, you know? I'll be here for them, and they'll be here for me, I believe that. Again, I don't know that for sure, but that's what I believe, that's what I believe in my heart, okay? And I'm gonna get you to turn to Mark chapter five now. Please turn to Mark chapter five. Mark chapter five. Iron sharpener of iron. Mark chapter five in verse number 18. Now, we're not gonna read the whole story, but we have the story here of Jesus Christ who healed a man that was possessed with some devils. He went into a Gentile town and this man was basically a lunatic. And then the Lord God heals him. And it says here in Mark chapter five, verse 18. Mark chapter five, verse number 18. It says, and when he was coming to the ship, I'm sorry, I'll give you a little bit more. So basically, Christ heals this possessed man, but the people in the town were so afraid by the power of Jesus, they didn't want him there, okay? They thought, you know, this man's supposed to be a crazy lunatic. Look at him now, he's all healed. And you know, who's this Jesus? You know, get out of here. Who are you, right? It says here, and when he was coming to the ship, so Jesus Christ is now leaving the town to go into his ship. He that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him. So the man that's now been healed by the devil, he says, look, I wanna come alongside. I wanna be the disciple of you, Jesus. What does Jesus say in verse number 19? Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, or allowed him not. But saith unto him, go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord have done for thee and have had compassion on thee. And he departed and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him. And all men did marvel. The next point that I have for you, brethren, is share what Jesus has done for you to your friends. Speak to your friends about Jesus. And you know, if you're recently saved, you might have a lot of friends that are lost. You know they're on their way to hell. You know they haven't believed on Jesus. You know they believe some false religion. Or you know they believe still in their good works and merits to go to heaven. They haven't placed all their faith and trust on Jesus. Well, you know what, this man wanted to go with Jesus. Jesus, I'm gonna follow you. Jesus said, look, stay with your friends. Your friends need to hear about the great things that I've done for you. And brethren, if you've got lost friends, you know what Jesus wants for you to do? To share the gospel with them. Share the gospel with your friends. It might cost your friendship. Hey, but at least you've given the gospel. You know, I think we can all probably, I suppose we can all relate to times we've tried to give someone we care about the gospel and it's just maybe hardened them against you. Maybe they don't want to talk to you anymore because they think you're some religious lunatic. It's worth it. It's worth losing a friendship, you know, for the purpose of giving them the gospel. That might be the only opportunity they have. Okay, don't burn all your friendships after you get saved. Try to keep those doors open so you can tell them the great things that Jesus has done for you. But brethren, not just salvation. You know, you may, I don't really have many lost, I'm trying to think, do I have lost friends? I'm not sure. Okay, I probably can't think about them anymore, right? But you know, not only that, obviously I have Christian friends, okay? And one thing that we should do, one to another, is share, again, what Jesus has done for us. May not be, or it might be salvation. You know, how we got saved, but listen, we're living lives. The Bible says to go from faith to faith. The Bible says to walk in the steps of Christ. You know, we're living life and we're going through difficulties and struggles and problems. And how many times in your prayer has God come through and delivered you? How many times has he helped you along? How many times has he given you an answer to prayer? Well, you know what you're meant to do with your friends? Go and tell your friends what great things Jesus has done for you. You know, come to church. And you know, church is not just listen to the pastor preach, but church should be an opportunity for you to say to others, you know, man, I've been praying, thanks for praying for this situation. God has come through. God has helped me once again in this difficulty. You know what, it's gonna edify the body. It's gonna edify your friends, you know, your Christian friends, to hear how God has been helping you in your life. So please don't be embarrassed or don't be ashamed when God answers prayers and God does great things in your life. Hey, share it to your friends. That's what Christ wants us to do. Can you please turn to Proverbs chapter 16 now? Turn to Proverbs chapter 16. Proverbs chapter 16. And as you turn to Proverbs 16, I'm going to just read those points to you once again. When it comes to friendship, take the first step, all right, take initiative. The second thing that I had was be forgiven. All right, I know when your friend hurts you, it hurts you more than the average person. Be forgiven. The third one was maintain peace. The fourth one was, I actually didn't quote it, but be a positive influence. That was the iron sharpening iron, you know, so shall a man sharpen off the counsel of his friend. And the next one was share what Jesus has done for you. All right. Now, when it comes to friendships, like I said, it's something that the Bible speaks a lot about. You know, God gives a lot of pointers, how to maintain friendships. It does require work, it does require effort. It does also require loyalty, okay, to be forbearing, you know, to understand that your friends are going to make mistakes, they're going to mess it up, they're going to hurt you sometimes, okay. Loyalty is a key component of friendship. But sometimes, because we want to be good friends and we want to be loyal, you know, and we count someone a friend, you know, we may feel like we owe somebody our lives, in a sense, and it comes to friendship. Not realizing that this friend is not a friend at all. Okay, you see, there are some people that are not truly your friend. They want to think that they're your friend, okay, but really, they want to hurt you, okay. They want to use you, they want to exploit you. And look at Proverbs 16, please. Proverbs 16, verse 27. Proverbs 16 and verse number seven, 27, sorry, 27. It says, the ungodly man diggeth up evil, and in his lips there is a burning fire. I preached recently to me in life at this church about the tongue being a fire, okay. But an ungodly man is looking for evil, his veil of friends. But really, what they're trying to do is separate chief friends. They're trying to pull you away from others, okay. What are they? They're whisperers. They come around, how did you know? Brother so-and-so, did you know? Sister so-and-so, did you know? Pastor so-and-so, did you know? This is, I found out this information. They're digging up dirt, they're digging up information. They're trying to find problems. Why? To separate, to cause conflict between friends. And they find a sick enjoyment doing this. You gotta be careful about people that come gossiping. I hate gossip, brethren, I hate it, you know. And look, I hate it in the new man, and then I love it in the old man. You say, what are you talking about? I'm talking about, you know, when someone has like some juicy information, I'm like, what is that information? But then I'm like, no, I don't wanna hear about it. You know, I wanna think positive about people. You know, I don't need people coming up to me, gossiping me to me about people in the church. Oh, but you need to know, Pastor Kevin, because I don't need to know. Is it causing an issue in our church? Is it a personal issue? We already saw that, hey, if you've got a personal issue, take it with them alone. Don't go to others. Don't go sharing gossip and information. We all have skeletons in our closet. The ungodly man diggeth up evil. Yeah, you know what, if I dig up your past lives, I'm gonna find evil. You know what, I might even dig up yesterday and I'll find evil. Maybe I'll even dig up this morning and find evil. Is that how I'm gonna live my life? Is that what we wanna do? Just keep finding out the evil and the problems of everybody's life and go gossiping and breaking up friendships. But that's what people do. You gotta be careful about the person that is digging up evil. And sometimes, because you're friends, you share things. You gotta be careful, because sometimes you share things and they actually are trying to dig up evil in your life so you go and whisper to someone else. You know what, this is my basic principle. If someone's willing to come up to you and gossip to you about someone else, they're probably gossiping about you to someone else. Honestly, if someone's willing to come up to you and tell you private matters or issues, you don't even know if they're true or not, about other people. And you feel like, oh man, this person's open with me, I better be open with them. Yeah, they're getting your information. They're digging up your evil and they're going out proclaiming it to other people. Separating two friends. These are friends in name only. Friends in name only. They're not truly a good friend, okay? Please turn to Second Samuel chapter 13, please. Second Samuel chapter 13. Second Samuel chapter 13. Second Samuel 13, we're looking at the story of one of King David's sons, Absalom. All right, so it's a pretty kind of sickening story but it's important for the topic this afternoon. It says in verse number one, Second Samuel 13, verse number one. And it came to pass after this, that Absalom, the son of David, had a fair sister. So he had a beautiful sister, okay? Whose name was Tamar. And Amnon, the son of David, loved her. So that's a bit awkward, you know, loving your sister. I mean, I guess we are supposed to love our family but you know, Tamar is not just his full-blooded sister. King David, if you know the stories, you know, he had multiple wives. So this was like a half-sister, okay? Same father, different mother. And he loved Tamar, right? He started to love her, you know, in the wrong sense of the word. Verse number two. And Amnon was so vexed and he fell sick for his sister, Tamar. He's like lovesick, all right? For she was a virgin and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. So you know, he wants her for himself but you know, he realizes this is my half-sister, right? And so it's driving him insane. So what's Amnon gonna do? Well, Amnon, listen, come on, man. You know, you're of the royal seed here, okay? You've got power, you've got riches. You know, you live in the palace with dad. You know, come on, Tamar. Like, you know, you've got authority in the land here. You got any choice of the ladies in Israel, surely. Like, come on. Like, why do you have to worry about your half-sister here, okay? But what happens when we go to verse number three? But Amnon had a friend. Hmm. I wonder if this friend is someone that sharpens iron. Iron sharpener for iron. Is that the kind of friend that Amnon had? But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeel, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very subtle man. And he said unto him, why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Will thou not tell me? So these are the friends, so-called friends that you need to be careful of. You seem really upset these days. Can you tell me about all your problems? I really need to know, what's bothering you? What's your issue, you know? Like, what are they doing? Digging up evil, okay? Trying to figure out what to do here, all right? Will thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. And Jonadab said unto him, lay thee down on thy bed and make thyself sick. All right, so here's the plan. This is what you do. Go down to bed and say that you've got COVID, okay? Lay down, have a fever, whatever it is, pretend that you're sick and make thyself sick. And when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come and give me meat and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see her and eat it at her hand. So when your dad, King David turns around, hey son, you feeling okay? No, dad, I'm really sick. Can you please send Tamar to help look after me? I need some help, I can't get out of bed, basically is what's happening, all right? Now, I'm not going to go into the rest of the story for time's sake, okay? But this was a plan basically to put Absalom and Tamar together, okay? Sorry, Amnon, I've been saying Absalom, sorry guys. Amnon and Tamar together in a private setting, okay? And then basically Amnon takes Tamar and rapes her, okay? Against her will, all right? But why did he have this plan? Why did he go and start making this together? Because Amnon had a friend, okay? Was it a good friend? Was it a positive friend? No, this friend caused him to do great wickedness, to rape his own sister. And you know, this whole time he says, I love her. But then once he's done doing what he does with her, he hates her, the Bible says. And you read the story in your own time, okay? It wasn't truly love, all right? But the problem is Amnon had a friend, okay? And this friend caused him to do wicked things. Brethren, we've got to be careful about the friends that we make. Yes, loyalty is great. Yes, understanding that sometimes you need to encourage them and help them. But brethren, you've got to be careful about making the wrong kinds of friends, okay? So, you know, these are the friends, say what kind of friends should be careful of? Number one, friends that encourage you in your discontentment. They encourage you. It's almost like they want to keep you in a state of discontentment. Again, Jonadab should have just said, look, man, you've got any choice here. I mean, look, you're a prominent personality. You know, any of the ladies here would like you as a husband. Man, you've got, you know, there's, what's this, there's plenty of fish in the sea. It's not the same they say, okay? You've got the whole nation. That's what he should have said. But rather, he says, what's your problem? Let me hear your issues. You've got every right to be upset. Come on, man, you're the king's son. You should have anything you desire. Discontentment, you know, your friends should encourage you to be content. Your friends should encourage you to be thankful. Thankful for what you have and not encouraging and keeping you in a state of discontentment. Share with me your problems. You've got every right to complain about your husband. Let me hear what you have to say about your husband. Digging up dirt. Oh, did you know so-and-so's husband was doing X, Y, and Z? Man, these are wicked people. Please be careful with these kinds of friends. You know, I think we've all had these people in our lives. You know, what do I do, Pastor Kevin? You cut them off. You say, look, I can't be your friend anymore. You're not an encouragement to me. You're not a friend, actually. You know, you're just causing problems. Can you please turn to 1 Corinthians, chapter 15? 1 Corinthians, chapter 15. Be careful with the kinds of friends that wanna hear all your problems, okay? All your problems. And keep you in that state of discontentment, okay? The next friends that you wanna be careful of, and I guess you could apply it to the story there as well, is friends that will lead you into wickedness. Friends that will lead you into sin, okay? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 15, verse 33, verse 33, the Bible says, be not deceived, evil communications corrupt good manners. What's that? Evil communications. Let's put communication based on what I was saying about fellowship, okay? Evil fellowship. Having wrong kinds of friends that'll lead you in a bad way, brethren. This will corrupt good manners. You know what? There are plenty of things, and we've all been young, we've all been teenagers, right? We've all done stupid things. I guarantee you there are some things that you look back in your teenage years, you're like, I can't believe I did that. But the reason I did it was just my stupid friends, okay? Evil communications corrupt good manners. Brethren, you gotta be careful about your friends that'll just cause you to follow after sin, follow after weakness. Oh, that was a great time, you know? Let's go egg the car, pfft. Yeah, that was fun for a while, but then it's a man. That's horrible what I just did. I mean, that guy's gonna be upset with what we've just done to his car. Whatever stupid thing teenagers get up to sometimes, okay? But yeah, be careful about the friends that'll make you sin, make you do things that you like. Man, why did I? You know what I did? I did that because of peer pressure. I did that because they're my friends, I wanna be liked, we wanna have a good time, and I can't believe I did such a stupid thing, okay? What else does it say? Verse number 34. Awake to righteousness and sin not, for some have not the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame. Now, keeping the context here, okay, let's friends here, but obviously the apostle Paul is writing to the Corinthian church, okay? And he says, look, evil communications corrupts good manners. He says, look, there are people, there are friends, there are church members here that is corrupting your good manners. There are people in this church corrupting the work of God, okay? That's what it says. Awake to righteousness, sin not, stop sinning, these people are causing you sin, for some have not the knowledge of God. He says, there are people within your church that are not even saved, okay? They haven't got the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame. He says, look, you're making friends with the wrong people. You should be ashamed of this. You've allowed wicked people, people that aren't even saved into your church and you don't even know if they're saved or not, and they're affecting you to sin and not to do righteously. Be careful with your friends. I understand, I'm not saying that, listen, you get saved, now cut off all your unsaved friends. I said to you, hey, your unsaved friends, they need to get saved. We wanna give them the gospel. But as you walk the Christian life, you're gonna start to notice that your unsaved friends will walk away from you, okay? What are you gonna do about that, okay? But listen, people that have a negative influence here, people that cause you to sin, these truly are not your friends, okay? And if you're just hanging around, I can't make friends of people in church. I can only make friends of the ungodly. I mean, I'm not saying break off your friendships, but I promise you this. If you think I can only make friends with the ungodly world, you're going to walk in paths of wickedness. You're gonna make major mistakes in your life. You're gonna look back in your life and regret the decisions that you've made, okay? God's people, the church, making friends here will encourage you to walk in righteous paths. Can you please go to first, you're in 1 Corinthians already. So let's go to chapter 10, please. 1 Corinthians chapter 10. 1 Corinthians chapter 10. So don't make friends, or if you have friends, break these off that keep you in a place of discontentment. Friends that encourage you to commit sins and weakness, the two groups of people. And then there's this third group, this third group that I call the black hole friend. Okay, the black hole friend. Though the concept of the black hole in the universe is that the gravity pool is so strong that no object in the universe that no object can escape it. Not even light, the speed of light is fast enough to escape the black hole, which is why it's constantly dark. That's the concept, okay? That it sucks everything in. Well, you know what? You can have friends that are black holes that will suck everything in. They'll suck all your enjoyment. They'll suck all your passion. They'll suck all your time. You won't even have time for yourself. You won't have time for other people that friend just demands time and time and it sucks everything out of you, okay? All your joy, all your time, okay? And you won't have time for anything else. This is a black hole friend. These aren't good. Now look, are there times that your friend will sap your energy? Of course, we're there to lift one another, okay? These things happen, but they're cycles. You lift them, they lift you, okay? You've done them wrong, they'll forgive you. You've done them wrong, they'll forgive you. These are what friends are for, right? To encourage one another to keep moving forward. Iron sharpener for iron. There are some friends that'll make your iron blunt, okay? That'll sap all your energy, the black hole friend. First Corinthians chapter 10 verse 24. Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth. Okay? Now it's not saying, hey, you know, look at other people's money. But basically, you know, instead of looking upon your own needs, look at others. How can I bless others? How can I encourage and motivate other people? Hey, that's what a friend does. He says, look, it's not just about me. How can I be a motivating factor to others? How can I encourage my friend? You know what, instead of sapping all their energy, how can I encourage them to move on and be more productive and love the Lord and achieve greater things in life? The Bible also says in Philippians 2 four, look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. That's what a good friend is. They look upon your needs, you look upon their needs. Okay? You're both contributing to each other's zeal and enjoyment and motivation. But the black hole friend sucks. Ringing you up, ringing you up, ringing you up. Man, listen, it's been two hours. I've got to speak to my wife. I've got to have dinner, but this is so important. You've got to eat what I've got to say. Can you meet up with me tomorrow? You know, I've got to talk to you about this and that. I've got all these issues. Can you please, can you, what do you reckon? Oh, come on, you know? And it's just constant, constant, constant. And you just, oh, is this a friendship? No, it's not a friendship. It's not a friendship. A friendship loves you. A friend will lift you up, okay? They don't suck you dry. The reason I say this and I'm passionate about this is because I've had black hole friends. I've had people that, they just suck the energy out of you. They sucked the life out of you. And you just want to be loyal, just want to be a good friend. And it's just destroying your life. And I recently caught up with one of these black hole friends that I hadn't spoken with in many, many years. You know, I had a good time. And then I started to realise, nah, he's a black hole still. I had a decent time. I was glad to catch up with someone that I've known, but you know, immediately, it was like, oh man, I gotta pull out of here before I get sucked into the black hole. You know? I've had friends like this, you know? They take up your time. And Brevin, that's not what a friend does. A friend appreciates you. A friend understands you've got other things to do. A friend understands you need encouragement, motivation, and they give it to you, okay? Instead of just sucking you dry. All right, Brevin. Be careful about the friends you make as well. All right, be careful about the friends that you make as well. Now please turn to the book of James. We're gonna conclude here. James chapter two, please. James chapter two. James chapter two. And verse 23. James chapter two. And verse 23. One of the most beautiful things as a Christian that we can aim for, yes, is to have friends. Yes, to have Christian friends, amen. That's wonderful, okay? But I love James chapter two, verse 23, which says, and the scripture was fulfilled, which saith, Abraham believed God. Hey, do you believe God? Do you have faith in God? Hey, we're like Abraham. He's the father of faith, all right? It says Abraham believed God and it was imputed unto him for righteousness. Abraham was made righteous in God simply by faith, faith alone on the Lord God. But then I love the next part. And he was called the friend of God. Hey, who called him the friend of God? God called him his friend. The Lord God said, Abraham is my friend. And Brevin, if you're saved today, you can have God as your friend. Okay, you can have God as your friend. Say, well, I'm saved, am I God's friend? Well, I mean, you're in the steps of becoming God's friend. But when you think about a friend, what is that? You know, a friend is someone that you speak to. A friend is someone that you share issues with. You know, a friend is someone that you bless and that you're blessed in return. You know, what is your friendship with God like today? Could you say he's my friend? When's the last time that you've spoken to God? When's the last time God's spoken to you? When's the last time you picked up the Bible and heard from God? You know what, I mean, friends, people that spent, we said we're social creatures. We need company. How much time do you spend with God? Maybe you've not picked up your Bible this week. Maybe you've not bowed your head in prayer this week. Maybe God's not really that great of a friend. Or maybe you're not that great of a friend, I should say, to God. You know, we're not always faithful to the Lord God, but he's always faithful to us. Can you please go to James chapter four now, two chapters later, James chapter four and verse number four. James chapter four and verse number four. You say, yep, Pastor Kevin, I'm saved. You know, God's my friend. And you know, I'm sure God will say to me that I'm his friend. But look at James chapter four, verse four. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Brevin, he's talking to Christians. Okay, talking to Christians. Are you a friend to God or an enemy to God? You've got a choice, you know, in your spiritual life. You can either be a friend to God or you can be a friend to this wicked world. You know, doing exactly what this world requires you to do. You know, living the unrighteous life, living a life of sin and just the pleasures of this world and say, man, I'm a friend of this world. Well, if you're a friend of this world, you're not a friend of God. I'm not saying that you're not saved, I'm saying you haven't got the friendship. Friendships, again, is something you gotta work toward. Okay, something you gotta input in. You know, you gotta bless others. That's what friendship is, all right? And if we want God to be our friend, hey, he's our savior. Praise God, he's our savior. Praise God, it's only on the finished work of Christ. But hey, if your heart's still resting in the wickedness, the sins, the temptations, the lust of this world, you're not a friend of God. And you know, I hope that you can develop great friendships, friendships in the church. I hope you can look at this church and say, hey, these are my friends. Hey, I hope you can have some best friends. Hey, I hope that you can look at your spouse and say, that's my best friend. Okay, this is my friend. Yeah, and that's great. But you know what? Let's not forget that God wants our friendship as well. He's been more than a friend, isn't he? He's been more than a friend. He's forgiven us. He's given us salvation, a free gift. You know, he's preparing a home for us right now, a new heaven, a new earth. But what kind of friend are you to God? What kind of friend are you to God? And we started the verse that said, a man that have friends must show himself friendly. And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. I want God to be my best friend. You know what? He sticks closer to me than a brother. He'll never leave me nor forsake me. He's the best friend that I've ever had. But honestly, brethren, I haven't always been the best friend to God. And I think if you're honest, you would say the same thing. I haven't always been his best friend. Well, brethren, let's work toward that. Not just the friendships that we have amongst people, but also our friendship with the Lord God. Okay, let's pray.