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You have power over your own body, and that action needs to happen. Verse 5, it says, Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer. Notice that there's no consent that needs to be given, besides if you're not going to do it. Okay, if you're not going to do that act, then that's when consent has to happen. But it says, and come together again, that Satan tempts you not, for your incontinency. So when we're talking about due benevolence, benevolence means obviously love, right, when you're dealing with that. But the Bible's very discreet with that, and obviously coming together, all that, you know, it says Adam knew his wife Eve, and we all know what that's talking about. And children, if you don't know what that's talking about, then when you're older, you'll figure it out. But when it comes to marriage, I want this to be very clear that that, that physical union is why you get married, okay? And so, this is why, there's a thing going around, or there's, you know, I get, here's what I think it is. There's a lot of people that are over spiritual. And if there's one thing that annoys me is when people are overly spiritual. Meaning this is that, when someone comes in just like, Amen, brother, God bless, you know, like, and they're just like, I pray you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, you know, like, and it's just this over the top spirituality. And to me, it's just a cover for something nefarious. Like, you're covering up for something. Normal people don't talk like that. I'm not saying that you can't talk about spiritual things, but be real. And there's this over spirituality that looks don't matter at all, okay? Like, you don't need to be attracted to your spouse. And this isn't, and I'm not like saying, well, this is new IP. No, this is old IP. This is in other realms of Christianity, if you will, where they'll say that looks don't matter at all. And if you think about the physical attraction, then you're not right with God, and you don't have a right spirit about yourself. You know, there's preachers that will say, you know, listen, I'm not at all attracted to my wife. But the Bible says I need to love her, and I love her, and that's my wife right there. Can you imagine how degrading that would be if I just said, listen, my wife, or they say, you know, my wife is the most godly woman that I ever met in my life, but I'm not attracted to it at all. That's insanity, my friends, okay? That's insanity. Now, I'm gonna give you some pointers, or, you know, what I believe are good things to look at, as far as if you're looking for a spouse. And I'm gonna say this, don't crucify me when I say this, but number one is attraction. And the reason I say that, and I'm not saying, like, they have to be the most attractive person in the world, okay, because some people need to lower their standards when it comes to what they're looking for as far as attraction, right? But I'll say this, you better be attracted to them. And you say, well, you know, why is that number one? It should be that they're saved and that they're godly. Listen, if you're not attracted to them, don't marry them. Be their friend. And the reason I'm saying this is because the divorce rate in America is really high. And I don't see where divorce is because of income, because of financial reasons. Because a lot of people say, well, it's financial, it's whatever. You know what I see it's from? Adultery. If you marry someone that you're not attracted to, don't be surprised if that person goes, you know, if you end up going after someone else that you are attracted to. This is important. And this isn't just like, oh, you're vain, you're all about looks. No, listen, it's about the physical union. And if you're repulsed by your partner, and you're repulsed by your spouse, then there's a problem. And listen, I'm not saying you say, well, you know, does that mean that if you're not attracted to your spouse, that you're not going to be faithful? I'm not saying it's not possible. It's possible for a camel to go through an eye of a needle, because rich people get saved. But I mean, when it comes to that, don't make things harder on yourself than it has to be. And you say, well, you know, that's just the flesh. Speaking to you, I think I remember where it says, those two shall be one flesh. I think the flesh is involved. By the way, this is something that only happens here on the earth, too. Because in heaven, the Bible says that we're going to be like the angels, and we're not going to marry. So when you try to just take the physical, all that out of the equation, I believe that's a recipe for disaster. And listen, again, don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying, like, who you marry has to be the most attractive person you've ever seen in your life. But if you're not attracted, I'm talking you're not attracted to the person. Like, if you think about kissing the person, you think about throwing up. I'm saying like that, what are you doing? But they're godly. I think about a different person when I'm around them, but they're godly. It's like, what are you doing? Now, you say, well, you know, give me some Bible on that. The whole book of Song of Solomon. The whole book. But go with me to Song of Solomon, chapter 4. And listen, I think everybody in our church you know, I think our church is a good-looking church. So I'm not speaking to a bunch of trolls right now saying, like, listen, you're going to have to figure this out. Find another troll to marry. You might have to go under some bridges. I'm not saying that at all. Obviously, I think that most of the younger people in our church, I mean, I consider everybody to be good-looking people. But listen, beauty is subjective. So even if I would look at somebody like, that person's attractive. Someone else may look at that person and be like, but I'm not attracted to that person. So it is what it is. And there are people that I remember being, you know, back when I was in the dating world, is that I had friends who'd be like, that girl's really attractive. I'm like, nah, not interested. And it's not that I, you know, it's not like I was like, that girl's just ugly and all this other stuff. I'm just, that's not, I'm just not attracted to her, you know? And so Song of Solomon, chapter 4 and verse 1. And the reason I'm hitting on this is because this is attacked for some reason. Like this idea of being attracted to, like that doesn't matter at all. That shouldn't even be on your radar. And if you're thinking about the fact that you're attracted to somebody, then you're not right with God. That is so unbiblical. When it comes to what the Bible even teaches about marriage. The marriage is about the physical. And that, I mean the whole reason that you're getting married is for that physical act. There's a whole book about the fact of being attracted to each other, desiring one another. And listen, if you take out this physical aspect, I think you're going to end up having problems in your marriage. Unless you're just walking in the Spirit all day long, and you just wake up saying, to God be the glory. And you're just always in the Spirit. And you know, we got to get in reality every once in a while, when it comes to just life and where we're at. But in Song of Solomon, chapter 4 and verse 1, it says, Behold, thou art fair, my love. Behold, thou art fair. Thou has dove's eyes within thy locks. Thy hair is as a flock of goats that appear from Mount Gilead. Now, I'm not going to read this whole passage, but literally Solomon is just describing all these different things about his wife that he likes. OK. But the thing that I want to notice here is that both Solomon in this and his wife are going back and forth in the song. And they're both saying that each other are fair. That they're beautiful. OK. They're like, oh, beauty doesn't matter. Looks don't matter. Attraction doesn't matter. Why is this the inspired Word of God then? You're like, well, you're just pulling some song out here. It's like, are not the Psalms inspired? I believe this does matter. If I was going to go to a book in the Bible about marriage, I would go to Song of Solomon. I mean, there's other verses in the Bible I'm going to go to. But at the same time, Song of Solomon is where if you're saying, hey, I want a marriage like this. You know, I want my wife to desire me. I want my husband, you know, like ladies, you'd want your husband to desire you. Song of Solomon 4 and verse 7, it says, thou art all fair, my love. There is no spot in thee. So to Solomon, he's looking at his wife and like, you're perfect. There's no blemish or whatever. And listen, like I said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So to some people, they may look at somebody and be like, that person has a blemish. But if you are really attracted to that person and you like that person, you're going to say, there's nothing wrong with you. And even what that person thinks is wrong with them, you're like, no, I actually like that about you. They actually like your imperfections and all those different things that are there. So I'm not saying that you're looking for some perfect, you know, model, you know, Barbie doll or Ken doll, I guess, in the girls' cases, you know. But to say that looks don't matter, that's the husband to the wife. Now let's look at what the wife says to the husband. Because sometimes there's double standards to be like, well, the men look for looks, but the women don't look for looks. And listen, ladies, you can tell me that you don't think looks matter, but you're lying to yourself. And listen, you're like, well, you're a man. You don't understand. I just don't believe it. OK, I'm sorry. You're going to have to convince me a little harder than that. To think that when you look at a guy that looks don't matter at all, I just don't believe it. And listen, this woman is talking about her husband and all that. Now I'm going to be getting into, obviously, I'm not saying to just find someone that's attractive and marry them. OK. But I'm hitting on this because for some reason this is being attacked as being no priority at all. There's no weight put to this at all. And I believe this is causing marriages to either be really hard or in some cases is actually ruining marriages because they marry someone that they're not attracted to and they don't want to be around. And then due benevolence doesn't happen and all that. And then that goes down the drain. And then the marriage goes down the drain. OK. So in Psalm 2 and verse 8, it says, the voice of my beloved, behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. That's what Paul always says about me. You know, just skipping upon. I'm like skipping like a roe, you know. No, more like a troll, a bear, you know. And my beloved is like a roe or a young heart. Behold, he standeth behind our wall. He looketh forth at the windows, showing himself through the lattice. My beloved spake and said unto me, rise up my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter has passed, the rain is over and gone, the flowers appear on the earth, and the time of the singing of the birds has come. The voice of the turtle is heard in our land. The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vine with the tender grape give good smell. Rise, my love, my fair one, and come away. And so you see these terms of endearment. And I want to go to Song of Solomon, chapter 7. Song of Solomon, chapter 7. And I want you to see that both the husband and the wife are referring to their physical attributes. Physical attributes. And I was talking to these guys. I'm like, don't go away from this thinking that past problems that says spirituality doesn't matter, okay? I mean, like, listen, just marry someone that's beautiful and nuts to whether they're safe, nuts to whether they love the Lord. I'm beginning to that, okay? My whole point is if you're not attracted to them, why would that other stuff even matter? Does that make sense? Like, when people say, well, you know, the spirit, obviously that has more weight. It has more weight, but if this isn't here, if attraction isn't here, then that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to the most godly person in the world. If you're not attracted to them, marriage has to do with the physical. And you're around them all the time. And, you know, you're, so when people just discount that, to me, it's number one, because if that's not there, then I'm, if I wasn't attracted to my wife, I wouldn't have married her. I don't care how godly she is. And obviously, I think my wife is extremely godly. But if I wasn't attracted to her, that wouldn't have been on the table. I'd just been like, well, let's be friends, you know? And so in Psalm and Psalm in chapter seven, verse one, it says, how beautiful are thy feet with shoes. Now, I don't know if maybe he doesn't like feet. He's just like, your feet are beautiful, as long as they have shoes on them. Now, maybe they're wearing sandals and all that, I don't know. How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, oh prince's daughter. The joints of thy thighs are like jewels. The work of thy, of the hands, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor. Thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young rose that are twins. Thy neck is as a tower of ivory. Thine eyes, like the fishpoles in heshbon, by the gate of Bathribim. Thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon, which looketh toward Damascus. Thine head upon thee is like caramel, and the hair of thine head like purple. The king is held in the galleries. How fair and how pleasant art thou, oh love for delights. Physical doesn't matter. Doesn't matter at all, right? Traction doesn't matter. Physical doesn't matter. I think it does, when it comes to marriage. Go to Song of Solomon, chapter five, Song of Solomon, chapter five, and let's look at what the wife says about the husband. Notice here, too, how the Bible is very discreet. Notice where it stops from the joints of the thighs, which is your knee, okay? It talks about the feet, the leg, the joints of the thigh, that goes up to the thigh, and then it goes straight to the navel. Where's nakedness in the Bible? From the loins to the thighs. Like, so it's this area right here. Notice it doesn't mention that. We should know the sermon for another day, as far as what is nakedness, from the loins to the thighs, okay? Say, is that for women? Well, he mentions everything above that. The Bible doesn't say that's nakedness, okay? Now, there's a difference between nakedness and modesty, so don't just come in here shirtless, okay? But I'm not here shirtless either, you know, when it comes to coming into church. But in Song of Solomon, chapter five, verse 10 here, it says, My beloved is white and ruddy, the cheapest among ten thousand. His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices as sweet flowers, his lips like lilies, dropping sweet-smelling myrrh. His hands are as gold rings set with the barrel, his belly as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires. His legs are as pillars of marble set upon sockets of fine gold. His countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet, yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. Again, I just wanted to make this very clear that physical appearance has its place when you're looking for a spouse. And I think that a lot of things, when it comes to this, and especially in the Christian realm or in the fundamental Christian realm, that we often just go too spiritual with stuff sometimes, and we leave off the things that the Bible even is speaking good about when it comes to the physical things of this world. And when it comes to marrying somebody, that is by definition something that's only in this world. And I think that what happens is that love, when it comes to finding a spouse or marriage, love becomes this mechanical thing. You know, the Bible says, husbands love your wives, and the Bible says, wives, learn to love your husbands, right? Love your husbands, love your children, be discreet, chase keepers at home. It's just like, just boom, you know, just mechanically like, I will love my husband because the Bible tells me to. I will love my wife because the Bible tells me to, instead of actually desiring your spouse. Love is not just this, you know, it's like, well, the Bible says that love is the fulfilling law, and you know, this is love that you keep as commandments, and don't get me wrong, listen, if you love God, if you love me, keep my commandments, but it shouldn't just be this mechanical, like, I am faithful to you because the Bible tells me to be faithful to you. The Song of Solomon, the wife is speaking about the fact that she doesn't want anybody to wake her husband because she doesn't want him to be disturbed. That's not mechanical. That's a desire and love for that person, that you really care that that person gets their rest, that they're in this state of peace, and you don't want them to be disturbed. She's having dreams about wanting to be with her husband, but can't find him, and basically through the whole dream, she's getting beat up, she's like going down the street, trying to find him, can't find him, because she wants, she desires him so badly. The Bible talks about, you know, speaking within your dream, the idea of basically desiring your spouse so much that you're actually talking in your sleep about them. That's not mechanical. That's not something that can just be forced into. And, you know, think about this, go to Song of Solomon chapter 8, verse 6. This was, these two verses right here is what we put on our, well, maybe we just put verse 7, I can't remember, but 6 or 7, we put on our invites for our wedding, back many moons ago. We're not in double digits yet, though, so we haven't hit, we're at 9, or we're gonna be at 9, so. But notice what it says here in verse 6. It says, set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm, for love is strong as death. Jealousy, cruel as the grave. The coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath the most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contend. Don't take out the desire. Now listen, listen young ones, know this, is that those butterflies go away. Okay, you know when you like meet someone, you have these butterflies, you're like, oh, you know, that person's cute, that person's good looking, and you have all these butterflies and everything. Listen, eventually those butterflies go away, but listen, you don't want to be where that desire, if you don't have any butterflies, you don't have any desire to be with that person, you know, it's just, it's like some arranged marriage, or something like that, and you're just like, forced into this situation. You know, I'm not saying it can't work, I'm not saying that it's gonna fail, but listen, marriage is hard as it is. And being faithful and all that stuff, don't make it harder on yourself, by setting yourself up for failure, okay. And don't make love and this desire to have with your spouse some mechanical thing. Because listen, especially when you have kids, and everything just starts just becoming crazy, to where you're just trying to survive, you better hope there's some fire still there, there's some desire that's still there, that's not like just some spiritual thing of the fact that, well, she's godly. Listen, we all have our points where we're not godly when we're at home, okay. What do you do then? And I think that there's people that are just over spiritual, and are just like, no, if you think that looks, if you're looking at the looks, you're not right with God. I think there's that over spiritual mentality, and then I think that there's people that marry trolls and that miserly loves company. And they're just like, well, you know what, I married someone that's not good looking, so therefore I just want everybody else to be like me. It's like when you go to, you're like, oh, I went to Bible college, you must go to Bible college. It's like, do you need it? No, but you gotta go. You gotta put in your dues. Now let's get that out of the way, okay. I don't believe, or at least I wouldn't, marry someone unless I was attractive. I wouldn't even think about marriage unless I was attracted to the person. Now I'll say this. If you have, let's say, let's say you had like three different people that you're interested in of like, you know, people that you're attracted to, okay. And that level of attractiveness might be different, right. Attractiveness, okay. Well, they met that mark of like you being interested in marriage by there's attractiveness. Well, this is where these other attributes are going to maybe play a role to where you may end up marrying someone that's not as attractive as someone else you could have married. But to take out attractiveness is ludicrous and I think foolishness. Does that make sense? Like to just take it out of the equation or say it's not important, I believe that you shouldn't even be looking at marrying somebody if you're not attracted to them. So that means that these other things shouldn't be even a concern. Now, so the next thing to look for is that if you're attracted to somebody, they need to be a believer. Now go to second Corinthians chapter six. Second Corinthians chapter six and verse 14. So let's get into some spiritual stuff as far as like the spiritual aspect of looking for a spouse. You're like, I can't believe that physical is number one. Well, listen, you can switch these around the way you want them and then the proof's in the pudding later on when it comes to whether this works out for you. But when I look at marriage, I see the whole book of Song of Solomon and it's all about the physical. And it's about the integrity too, right? I mean, there's things about that person like Solomon's a hard worker, he provides. There's a lot of other things that are in Song of Solomon that add on to that. But you know what I see? Thou art fair, thou art fair, thou art beautiful. Here's all the attributes of your body that I like. Here's the things about you. I desire you, I dream about you. I think about, I'm sick of love. Do you know that term lovesick comes from Song of Solomon? If you were unattracted to the person that you're talking to, could you say I'm lovesick? Could you honestly say that about that person if you're not attracted to them? Well, they're godly, you know? I'm glad they're godly. I'm glad that they love the Lord, okay? But at the same time, we're talking about marriage. We're not talking about friendship. We're not talking about being in church and being in the family of God here. We're talking about marriage, okay? But I'll say this, if the person's not a believer, don't marry that person, okay? So notice what it says in 2 Corinthians 6 and verse 14. And this goes for guys, too, okay? And I understand that guys, we have a lot more pull, we're the leaders, and we're a lot more, the chances of a guy winning the girl to the Lord are a lot higher, but don't play around with this stuff. Don't be like, well, I'll win her eventually. Don't play Russian roulette with your marriage. With your marriage. And in 2 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 14, it says, be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness, and what communion hath light with darkness, and what concord hath Christ with Belial, what part hath a believer with an infidel, right? So the whole point is that we're not to be, I mean, marriage is definitely yoking up with somebody. You could yoke up with, this could also apply to things that aren't marriage, I mean, how much more would it apply to marriage? So don't be yoked up with an unbeliever. So if you have people that, let's say you're out on the dating realm, and you're like, well, I'm attracted to these people over here. Well, are they believers? Like, well, that one is, then those are the ones, unless you get them saved, they're not even in the equation anymore. Does that make sense? They're not in the equation until they get saved. And then it says, listen, this is the downfall, I believe, of believers marrying unbelievers to why God flooded the earth. Go to Genesis chapter six and verse one, Genesis chapter six and verse one. It's interesting how believers a lot of time play a role into the downfall of society. And say, well, believers aren't the majority. Yeah, but believers are the ones that are causing whether the land gets destroyed or whether God blesses the country, because there's always gonna be more unbelievers than believers. But what believers do and how they live for the Lord and how they live their lives plays a big, it's a big impact on the society that you live in. And in this case, in Genesis chapter six, everybody gets destroyed except for Noah and his family and the animals that are on the ark. And obviously all the whales survive and all that stuff. There's water. But there's people out there that are just like, well, what about all the whales and the dolphins and all that stuff? It's like they just swam up a little higher. What are you talking about? You gotta get all the fish. Like there's an aquarium on the, can you imagine how ridiculous that would be? Anyway, Genesis chapter six and verse one, it says, and it came to pass when men began to multiply on the face of the earth and daughters were born unto them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were fair and they took them lives of all which they chose. So listen, I believe the King James Bible. I don't know about you, but when it says sons of God, it says unto which the angel said he at any time, thou art my son, this day I have begotten thee. These are not angels procreating with human beings. So get this Nephilim stuff out of your mind. And by the way, the Nephilim are the giants and the giants are completely, you know, in a different category or group of the people that were born unto the sons of God that took daughters of men. Here's what you're dealing with. Being unequally yoked. You have sons of God, which are believers, men that are believers, marrying women that are unbelievers. You notice the downfall that it had on society to the point where God repents that he made men. Notice what it says in verse three. It says, and the Lord said, my spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh, yet his days shall be in 120 years. There were giants in the earth in those days. And also after that, notice how this is different. So when everybody says, well, this is when the sons of God made it with the daughters of men, then there were giants and that's the Nephilim and that's the half-breeds of angels and human beings. It says there were giants in the earth in those days, and also after that, notice what it says. I missed my place here. After that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, they bared children to them, and same became mighty men, which were of old, men of renown. And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. So being unequally yoked caused the downfall of society to the point where God repented that he made man and he flooded the whole earth, except for Noah and his family. And there was this big reset that happened because of that. So you say, well, is it a big deal to marry an unbeliever? Yeah, I mean, if it was the downfall of society that God flooded the earth, and by the way, the end times are likened unto the flood, isn't it? So when this goes out the window, as far as believers marrying believers, there's gonna be a downfall of wickedness, or a downfall into wickedness. We want the downfall of wickedness, right? So when it comes to marrying a believer, yeah, I mean, you shouldn't, oh, that person's fair, I'm gonna marry them. No, are they a believer though? Yes, you need to be attracted. And I personally believe that that should be essential to why you're even marrying somebody. But if they're not a believer, then they're not on the table anymore. You don't just marry someone because they look good, you know, that they're attractive. You marry them because they're attractive, and they're a believer. And on top of that, I don't believe you should stop there when you're looking for a spouse. Someone's just a believer, right? So listen, ladies, when you're looking for a spouse, especially the ladies, I think you should be looking for a man that's not just a newly saved person, but someone that is saved, and they're on the right track to be a godly young man. And listen, men, I think that you should also be trying to work on being godly before you get married, because marriage is a hard thing. You're gonna have to support a wife, support children, if you end up having children, that you should have all those ducks in a row before you get into it as well. You say, well, what if I got married? We got married, neither of us are saved. Listen, obviously you're in the situation that you're in. I'm preaching to those that have not gotten married, and how do you move forward from that? This is the best case scenario. This is what you want it to be. You wanna be attracted to the person, they need to be a believer, but on top of that, you want them to be virtuous and faithful. Go to Proverbs chapter 31, Proverbs chapter 31. So I'm gonna show you some obviously famous verses in the Bible dealing with this. But I'll just say this, when I met my wife, the first thing I thought about her was that she was adorable. Now she was talking to my friend at the time, but once he got out of the way, then no, actually we didn't date until later on. But I'll say this, the first thing I thought about her was her looks. I knew nothing about anything else. I didn't know whether she was a believer. I kind of figured that my friend wouldn't be talking to somebody that wasn't a believer, but I didn't know if she was godly. I didn't know anything about her, but I knew that I thought she was attractive. And then I got to know her that she's a believer, but she's not only a believer, but that she's actually read through the Bible, which is rare when you think about how most Christians don't actually read their Bible. And she obviously came from a family that was about church and all these different things. But that progression, it was like, okay, I'm attracted to her, she's a believer, but also she loves the Lord, she wants to learn the Bible, she wants to do all these things and all that. So Proverbs 31 verse 10, it says, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies? Now there's actually another place that you say, well, that's good for men, you know, they need to find a virtuous woman. What about women? Well, the Bible says go to Proverbs chapter 20, Proverbs chapter 20 and verse six. Proverbs chapter 20 and verse six. Proverbs chapter 20 and verse six, it says, most men will proclaim everyone his own goodness, but a faithful man who can find. So that, the reverse applies, meaning that it's hard to find a faithful man, it's hard to find a virtuous woman. And in verse seven, it says, the just man walketh in his integrity, his children are blessed after him. So the same things you kind of see about a woman that's the virtuous woman, and her children rise up and call her blessed, the same applies to a man as well. And the idea here is that, let's just be honest, is that, most men in here would find, I would say, the majority of women at least attractive. There's obviously people you're not attracted to, right? And then there's levels of attractiveness, where you would say, hey, you know, that person is really attractive or whatever. Same thing with women, you'd probably do the same thing to where you'd say, hey, you know, most, you know, by and large, in general, men are attractive, right? Because you're attracted to, you know, the opposite gender or whatever. And there's only two, by the way. So let's keep it simple, right? So, but then, then, now you bring it down, okay, they need to be a believer though. Well, now you've narrowed down the field, haven't you? Because now, like when it comes to believers, few there be that find it, right? We know that there's few that are saved. So now you've narrowed down the field to that. Now narrow it down to someone that's virtuous and faithful and they're bringing it way down, okay? And this is why, you know, it's good to be in like-minded churches and growing up in church and all that stuff. And listen, by the way, I want to say this, I want to be very clear on this. You are not, no one in here is bound to marry anybody in this church. Like, this is not in Bread Baptist Church where everybody has to marry each other, okay? I'm sorry for the illustration, okay? All I'm saying with this is that there's other churches besides us, okay? There are other believers, there's other people that are virtuous and faithful to where, and listen, if a ton of people in our church ended up marrying, like if the younger people married, like other younger people in the church, as long as they're not related, then I'm all about it, you know? And listen, I'll officiate the wedding and, you know, I'm all about that. I think it'd be great. But I don't want it to, I don't want there to be like this idea of like, you know, I have to pick someone in the church, you know? Like I'm obligated, don't feel obligated to marry anybody in the church, okay? But do feel obligated to marry someone that's a believer and that's someone that's faithful and virtuous, okay? Meaning that that last one is one is, I think you're gonna be, I think you should be really thinking about like, okay, I really wanna find this person that's virtuous, that's someone that's faithful because you want an individual that is gonna be a good spouse, that's someone that's gonna help you out, that's someone that's gonna help you on your journey to where you're not being drug down, you're actually going forward. Now, if someone isn't saved and, you know, and I'll say this, if someone is very ungodly, it takes their attraction down to nothing, okay? And we were kind of talking about attraction, go to Proverbs chapter 11 and verse 22. Proverbs chapter 11 verse 22. So, I know men you can relate to this because I can definitely relate to this when you see a very attractive woman, but then the stuff that comes out of their mouth and you're just like, disgusting, like that woman is repulsive, right? And this verse right here in verse 22, it says, as a jewel of gold and a swine snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. I mean, there's a lot of these, you ever see these interviews with like modern women and they'll be like these guys talking to these modern women about like why men don't want them and don't want to marry them because they're very promiscuous and like they just sell their body, they're on OnlyFans and all these different things, which I've never been on anything, I'm just quoting to you what they've said about these things, but I'm guessing that's not a good thing, you know, what they're doing. Obviously, showing their bodies off or selling their bodies or whatever they're doing. When you hear them talk about it and they're just like, yeah, you know, I make money and all this stuff and it's just like, just you look disgusting to me. I'm obviously not looking to marry anybody, right? I'm married, but at the same time, like there is nothing attractive about that. And these girls, you know, like on the surface would be attractive, right? If you had knew nothing about them, you would on the surface be like, those are good-looking women or you could say that about men, that these are good-looking men, you know, or whatever. You know, attractiveness is there, but when they don't have discretion and they're a whore or a whoremonger and they're not godly, if they start speaking badly about your savior, you know what that, there's no attractiveness there. It just completely negates all that attractiveness. All that physical goes out the window because of that. So when you're dealing with someone that's godly, you know what that does? That amps up the attractiveness. The reason that being attractive to me is number one is because if that's not there, how can you amp up something that's not there? Does that make sense? Let me ask you a question. How can you rekindle the love with your spouse if it wasn't ever kindled, right? If there was never any fire there. Because I think on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis, we should be rekindling that flame with our spouse. And know that no one in this church is just like in a constant state of Song of Solomon with their spouse. That doesn't exist, okay? But what you have to do is you have to rekindle that. You know, anniversaries are a good time to rekindle that or just date nights or just different things to rekindle that, that spark, if you will. But if you're just down there like with two sticks rubbing them together trying to get the fire started that was never there, you're making things more difficult on yourself, okay? Go to Proverbs 31 and verse 29. And I believe this has just been ripped out of context, I guess, where people are just like, beauty doesn't mean anything. Like attractiveness doesn't mean anything. Obviously, a woman that fears the Lord is way more valuable than their looks, okay? And I think what it comes down to is that women care a lot about their looks, obviously. And I think they think men have this expectation that's not there, okay? Because women will like, well, let me just read the verse first. In Proverbs 31 verse 29, it says, many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excels them all. So we're obviously dealing with a virtuous woman, favors deceitful, and beauty is vain. But a woman that fearth the Lord, she shall be praised. And people just take that and be like, beauty doesn't matter at all, like basically that shouldn't be a factor at all. Well, when you compare it to being virtuous, obviously virtue of a woman is way more important as far as what they look like, right? The weight of that. But when you're talking about marriage, to just throw out beauty as far as like that doesn't matter as far as why, obviously that I think is just taking that out of context. And people will say, well, see when they're older, they're gonna be ugly. Are they though? Like when people say that, I'm like, maybe when she's 107 and she's in the nursing home or something like that. I mean like, what are you talking about? Like I've seen couples that like are attractive looking couples that are in their 60s, 70s, even 80s. I mean, if I'm in my 90s, I mean, the idea that when people say that, I'm like, okay, but for the first 60 years of my marriage, I want my wife to be attractive, okay? I'll deal with that later when we all are falling apart and all that. But listen, obviously that love will be there. And with my wife, it's not all about looks. I didn't just marry my wife because I thought she was attractive. So people throw out these hypotheticals that are just ridiculous to just somehow try to, which I personally believe that people are just being over spiritual and over spiritual people annoy me. So if you ever wanna know what annoys me is when people are just like on this soap box to tell you how spiritual they are. And it's always under a guise of trying to help someone out, be like, well, I'm just trying to help you out. It's like, no, you're trying to look like you are some spiritual juggernaut, you know? And they'll look at me like, oh, you're just vain. Well, the proof's in the pudding. We'll see whose marriage is last, you know? And I'm not saying that just because you're attracted to your spouse that your marriage will last, okay? But what I'm saying though is that if your spouse isn't attracted to you when you get married, then you're gonna, there's some fear there as far as them going after someone else, okay? I'm gonna read to you a passage in Proverbs, but know this is that too. When it comes to marriage, I don't believe in arranged marriages, okay? I do believe that I have veto power with my daughters. As long as my daughters are living under my house, under my house, under my roof, they don't live under my house, they live under my roof, then you know what? When my daughters are looking to marry somebody and I look at that person and be like, no, not that person, then I believe I have veto power, okay? And listen, I wanna raise my daughters to where they're gonna have discernment and know how to pick. So I don't believe I'm gonna need to do that, okay? But if I see something where my daughters are naive and they're not seeing something that I'm seeing and I know, I'm a man, so I know what to look for and I can see certain things in somebody and I'm like, not that person. But they go to church, no, not that one. But hopefully that's never the case. But I think about, Clara is very, not to embarrass her, but she's very intelligent. And my daughters, all my kids are intelligent, but Clara is one of those ones that I'm not that concerned about because I feel like she knows how to, even at this young age, she can pick out whether something doesn't match up right. Where she'll just basically be like, no, that's not right. They'll say something and be like, no, that's wrong. And just straight up, my wife's like that. My wife is one that I can never blow smoke at, not that I was ever trying to. But if I believe something or if I was for something or if it's biblical or whatever, I had to prove it to her. Maybe like, chapter and verse, here's why. And it'd be like, okay. Or if there's a case where it's like, well, it's more subjective, she'd be like, well, I see where you're coming from, but I may not agree. And there's different personalities like that. So, but I'll say this. The Bible says in Numbers chapter 36, and you don't have to turn there necessarily, but it's dealing with the daughters that Zelophah had and them getting married. Not remarried, but getting married because their father died and they're going into the Promised Land. And basically, for them to get the inheritance, they had to marry someone in their own tribe. And obviously back, there was a lot of people, there's thousands and thousands of people within that tribe. But it says, let them marry to whom they think best. Don't think that like, well, I have to get married. No, one, you don't have to get married. There's a whole chapter in 1 Corinthians about the fact that if you didn't want to get married, you could actually do a lot for the Lord without being married, you know? So you don't have to get married. So know that, but also marry who you think to be best. And obviously, if these standards hit the line, if you're attracted to them, they're a believer, and they're a faithful or a virtuous person, then let's say you had a list of people that fit that bill, pick who you want. It's like, well, my parents like this person more. No, pick who you want, okay? You're the one that has to live with them. You're the one that's having, you know, like girls, you're the one that's having their children, that you're gonna be with them the rest of your life. You pick who you want. But obviously, you need to have these things in line, right? You're attracted to them, they're a believer, and they're virtuous, they're faithful, and so therefore, at that point, marry to whom you will only in the Lord, the Bible says. It says that in 1 Corinthians chapter seven. Marry whom you will, who you want, who you think is best, but it needs to be in the Lord, right? It needs to be according to God's standards when it comes to they're a believer, you're not unequally yoked, and also the fact that, you know, hey, you believe that person is a virtuous or a faithful person, that they love the Lord, they don't just, they didn't just get saved and just want to live in the world, okay? You want to find somebody that wants to, you know, love the Lord, be a disciple and all that. Now, the reason that I hit on this stuff or why I think this is important to know is because marriage is a serious thing, obviously, and there are people out there that actually try to destroy marriages. There's the adulterous woman out there, okay, men, and I believe this would apply the other way around too, so I, you know, I'm not, it's just that Proverbs really hits on this, what they call the strange woman, and go to Proverb chapter six, Proverb chapter six, and the last thing I'm gonna show you here is just some stuff in Proverbs and we'll be done. So hopefully you understood me. Hopefully you don't leave this room and be like, Pastor Robinson says looks are the only thing that matter. It's just sometimes, sometimes I think people take things too far. They go way too far into the spiritual realm and then they just kind of negate kind of the reason why you're getting married, you know? And sometimes you have to put that back in its place where it belongs. And I'll say this, if due benevolence isn't happening at home in a marriage, it's gonna end up going somewhere else. Just speaking truth, okay? If you're not attracted to your spouse, it's gonna be harder, and if that flame isn't, even if you're attracted to each other but you don't have a good relationship with your spouse, then that's gonna be problems. I want every marriage in this church to last. I want all the young ones that get married to go into marriage knowing what they're looking for and making it easier on themselves and making marriage an easy thing, actually a blessing and something that's great. Knowing that there's gonna be hardships in marriage, there always is, but you don't wanna just like make things as hard as possible going into marriage. You don't wanna marry some unbelieving troll that lives through the world. That's like the kind of the worst case scenario, right? Someone that you're not attracted to, they're an unbeliever and they don't love the Lord, right? That'd be the worst case scenario that you'd ever wanna be in. So what do you want? You want someone that you're attracted to, that's a believer, that loves the Lord, wants to serve the Lord, and you know what? If you like each other and you're out of age, right, then marry. So, and marriage is a good thing, but these things need to be taken into account, I believe. Now in Proverbs chapter six and verse 23, notice it says, for the commandment is a lamp and the law is light, and reproofs of instruction are the way of light, to keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lest not after her beauty in thine heart, neither let her take thee with her eyelids, for by means of a whorish woman, a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress will hunt for the precious light. Listen, there are women out there that are, that are actually looking for men that are married. It's hard to believe, you know, you're just like, why would you do that? But people have, there are people out there like that. And listen, if you're not attracted to your spouse, and then there's like some beautiful woman that's like coming after you, now this does not excuse the man, okay? This does not excuse him from committing adultery. Don't think that for one second. That person is at fault, and you know what? They can't use this passion to be like, well, I couldn't do anything. No, the Bible says they get a wound and dishonor shall they get in a reproach that shall not be wiped away. So they're gonna have their recompense for committing a wicked act, right? But if you know that this exists, right, it's kind of like the idea of just knowing that that's out there, that how much the more should you be attracted to your wife? Because go to Proverbs chapter six, Proverbs chapter six. Proverbs chapter six, and I say wipe, I'm a man, okay? So if I'm just defaulting to the wife, obviously this sermon is about finding a spouse, but I can't relate to women as much, okay? Only to the fact that I don't believe that you don't think attractiveness matters. I just don't believe it, so. But Proverbs chapter five, verse 15. Actually, I think most women would say attractiveness is at least in the category, you know? Like they, I don't think that most women are saying like, no, I don't think about attractiveness at all. It doesn't matter what they look like. They could have two heads, doesn't matter. I don't think I've ever really, unless someone's trying to be really ever spiritual. But in Proverbs chapter five, verse 15, it says, drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind in pleasant row. Sound familiar to Song of Solomon? Let her breast satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman and embrace the bosom of a stranger? You wanna know how you stay faithful? You wanna know how you stay away from the strange woman? Is you embrace your wife. If you're doing that at all times, you won't have time to go out there to some strange woman and you won't need to desire some other woman. And I'm speaking to men, but listen, this can apply to women as well. And know this, women, that this is something that needs to happen in the home, in marriage. And like I said, I'm not giving any husbands out there any type of free pass if they were to commit some wicked act of adultery. But know this is that wherefore let him that thinketh he stand to take heed lest he fall. We're all prone and there's no temptation taking you but such as is common to man. And don't think that any of us in here are outside the realm of the possibility of committing some wicked act like that. But what you do to guard yourself from that is that you put up these guards where you say, you know what, I'm gonna focus on my wife and I'm gonna focus, it's like my own will, my own sister and my wife and to where I'm so enthralled with my wife that I'm not thinking about other women. And even if some other woman tried to approach me I'd be like, get out of my face. Because, you know, I have my wife. And so this is why I believe you can't just throw attractiveness out the window. You can't just say, well, no, it's all about them being godly. It's all about them being a believer. I'm not negating those things because I believe those things should be there when you get married. Those are things that should be these must do type of things on your list. But if it was only that they're godly and that they're saved and they're godly but you're not attracted to them, then just be their friend. That's my advice. You're like, you're harsh. I'm not saying anyone here is unattractive. Okay, I'm assuming, listen, I'm assuming across the board everybody in here is attractive. But listen, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty and attractiveness is subjective. So even if I were, everybody would be like, well, everybody's in here attracted to a certain extent. Well, some people would maybe look at that a different way, okay? And so we have those that are, obviously we have a lot of kids, but we have those that are teenagers. We have those that are getting into the age where they can get married. And this is also a sermon to us that are married that, hey, rekindle that spark. On a constant basis, we should be trying to get back to Song of Solomon, right? And you're like, well, I was never really at that level. I'm attracted to my spouse, but I was never really at that romantic level. Well, we should always be striving for it though to where you have that relationship. And listen, sometimes you just have to, you have to do things, change things to where you can cause that type of relationship and everything to be kindled there. So I hope the sermon helps. I hope you don't go out of it with the wrong idea. I'm sure people are gonna be like, oh, Pastor Robinson's Vain, it's all about beauty. I see a danger when people take that out though. I see biblical backing for there needing to be a desire and attractiveness to the physical elements. And I think that'll help guard you from adultery and different things down the line. And sometimes we have to get off our spiritual high horses and be real, get into reality. And you know what? I hope everybody, I hope all the young people in our church get married and find someone that they love, but I just want, I don't want it to be forced. I don't want it to be, I want to be for the right reasons, okay? That you get married for the right reasons and not just because like, well, my parents want me to marry this person or I, you know, whatever. And listen, I'm all about parents having veto power if they think the person's a bad person to marry, okay? But if your parents are like, well, all these are good, but I prefer this one. It's like, well, they're not marrying that person though. You are. And ultimately, listen, if you're old enough to marry, you're old enough to make that decision, okay? And so just sermon on Solomon. I feel like I've been in Song of Solomon a lot, right? Last, well, last week I was in Phoenix, but the week before that I was talking about foxes in Song of Solomon. So maybe next week, I'll try to get out of Song of Solomon a little bit. So, but my anniversary is coming up, so you never know. Probably gonna be in Song of Solomon again by the end of the month. But let's end with a word of prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you today. Thank you for your word. Thank you for the book of Song of Solomon. And Lord, just thank you for all our marriages in this church and just all the families. And Lord, just help us, and speaking specifically to those that are married right now, that help us to always kindle that love that we have for our spouses. And Lord, to be faithful to our spouses. And Lord, also those that are looking to find a spouse, Lord, I just pray that you'd help them to take heed to these points. And Lord, that everyone will find a good spouse, and that they'll have a loving relationship and all that. Lord, we love you. Pray all this in Jesus Christ's name, Amen. But they will come and speak for me. All right, take your song books and turn to Song 310. Song 310 in your song books, we'll sing Footprints of Jesus. And if you will stand, we'll sing Song 310. Sweetly, Lord, have we heard Thee calling, Come, follow me, And we see where Thy footprints falling Lead us to Thee, Footprints of Jesus That make the pathway glow. We will follow the steps of Jesus Where'er they go, Though they lead o'er the cold of the mountains, Seeking His sheep, O'er along by Solomon's fountains