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Amen. 1 Corinthians chapter 5. So there's probably 20 different sermons in 1 Corinthians chapter 5, but we're talking about church culture, so it's a good chapter for us in general. We've been talking about church culture for the last couple of weeks. We'll talk about it again this morning, how we want to be, you know, function as a church together. This is going to be a very practical sermon, as it was last week, with some very practical, specific examples of the type of culture that we want to have in this church. So in the end, the middle to end part of this chapter, we're talking about how the brethren should function together. Look down at verse number 22, which will be the focus of the sermon this morning, where the Bible says, abstain, or look at your bulletin, abstain from all appearance of evil. That's the verse of the week. So that's what we're going to talk about this morning, is 1 Thessalonians 5, 22. Now let me just give a little bit of a preemption this morning. I am sure that there is going to be people here this morning that hear this sermon and say, wow, that's extreme. Wow, that doesn't seem, that seems like something that, you know, is extra or over the top or whatever. But here's the thing, I don't really care what you think, so I care what the Bible says, and that's the way the church will function. How you run your life, that's up to you. But hopefully I can convince you to think about a few things this morning in that area as well. So 1 Thessalonians 5 and verse number 22, it doesn't say abstain from evil. It says abstain from the appearance of evil. Now today you will have people that it almost seems like they are, look, the world doesn't agree with this verse today. The world says, oh, you know, I'm not doing anything wrong if you think that I could possibly be doing something wrong, that's your problem. That's not what the Bible says. The Bible says abstain from even the appearance of something that's wrong or something that's evil in this case. So we're talking about church culture this morning. Let me just start off by saying this, not much or maybe even nothing about our culture today is appropriate. So we're going to talk about the relationships between men and women in the church, and appropriate relationships between men and women in the church. Nothing about our culture today is appropriate. Please keep that in the back of your mind when you think, wow, that doesn't seem like that's something wrong when I say something this morning. Just remember, everything that you've been taught from the world is wrong or backwards. Okay, look, people don't even know, and I'll prove this to you today, people don't even know what is appropriate anymore in this country, in this world that we live in. Look, if you would mention to something, if you would mention these things that, because I've done this, I've done this just recently, I've mentioned some of these things to people that I work with and people look at you like you're crazy if you mention some of these things. I'll give some more examples about that later. But let's talk about appropriate relationships between men and women in the church. So, you know, we want a biblically appropriate culture here. We don't really care about the world. I'll show you what the world thinks and how fast the world is changing in some of these areas. But first, to understand what I'm going to teach on this subject, we need to do a short Bible study. Okay, turn to Exodus chapter 34. And the first thing that I need to do is I need to show you the difference in the Bible between jealousy and envy in the Bible. So let's do a short Bible study and then we'll get back to and apply the sermon to appropriate relationships between men and women in the church. Look at Exodus chapter 34. First, I want to show you and I want to talk to you about jealousy. What I'm going to tell you this morning is that the world's definition of jealousy is wrong. Even the dictionary definition of jealousy is wrong according to the Bible. And I will show you the definition of jealousy from the Bible now. Look at Exodus chapter 34 and verse number 12. The Bible says, look, I can't get to all the verses on jealousy in the Bible. I just want to prove my point and then we'll move on to envy. Look at Exodus 34 and verse 12. The Bible says, take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land with about goest. Lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee. But you shall destroy their altars, break their images and cut down their groves. So here he's saying, have nothing to do with these pagan heathen people that you're going to possess their land because, you know, they have, they worship false gods and they have all these altars and groves. And look at verse 14. For thou shalt worship no other God. This is God giving command, by the way. This is God speaking, God giving command. For you shall worship no other God. Smaller case, lower case G. Smaller case, lower case G. For the Lord, whose name is jealous, is a jealous God. So look, it doesn't, it doesn't just say God is jealous here. That's one of his names. It's one of his names. Turn to Second Corinthians chapter 11. So first of all, we see that God is jealous. He's jealous over his people in this case. Look at Second Corinthians chapter 11 and look at verse number two. Second Corinthians chapter 11 and verse number two. The Bible says, look, there's a lot of different places in the Bible about this. I want to show you some New Testament and Old Testament examples. In Second Corinthians 11, the Bible says, for I am jealous over you with godly jealousy. For I have espoused you to one husband that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. So here we see that you can have a godly jealousy. God is jealous. Obviously you can have a godly jealousy and he's jealous over us. So what does that mean? Because it certainly isn't portrayed as a good thing in the culture that we live in today. If you say somebody is is jealous or you have a jealous husband or somebody is jealous over somebody else, it's it's generally looked at as a bad thing. It's used as a bad thing. And herein lies the problem. Our modern definition of things many times is not correct according to the Bible. Let me read for you the definition from dictionary.com about the word jealous. Okay and I'll prove it to you. An adjective. So there's three different definitions of jealous in dictionary.com. The first one is this, feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. An example sentence, he grew jealous of her success. The second one, feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship. Quote-unquote, a jealous boyfriend. This is the dictionary terms not mine. And then the third one is this, fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions. Now here you have a dictionary.com definition. There's three definitions. Two of them are wrong. They're literally incorrect. I mean the dictionary definition of this word in our modern language is incorrect. The first one is feeling or showing envy. That's wrong because envy and jealousy are not the same thing and I'm going to show you that. Showing envy of someone or their achievement and advantages. So being envious, it's saying being envious and jealous are basically the same thing, which is not true. And the second one is feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship. And then that I could almost agree with that one except then it gives an example of a jealous boyfriend, which you know I'll explain that one to you in a few minutes. But two out of these three definitions are wrong folks. We'll talk about that later but first of all let's talk about the correct definition of jealousy. First of all turn to Ezekiel chapter 16. Can God sin? Can God do anything bad? He cannot. God is perfect. God cannot sin. It even says in Titus that God is unable to lie. God can't even lie. Look at Ezekiel 16 8. The Bible says, Now when I passed by thee and looked upon thee, behold thy time was the time of love and I spread my skirt over thee and covered thy nakedness. Yea, I swear unto thee and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God and thou becamest mine. Turn to Ruth chapter 3 and verse number 9. Let me explain this phrase spread my skirt. In this case you know the the Bible is saying spread my skirt over thee and covered thy nakedness. But look what it means is this. In Ruth chapter 3 and verse number 9, Ruth is asking Boaz to marry her and he says in verse number 9 he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thy handmaid therefore therefore spread thy skirt over thy handmaid for thou art a near kinsman. Look it means marry me. That's what that means. It's a phrase that means let's be married. So God is saying he's married to us in Ezekiel 16 and in Ruth it's talking about the same thing. Look, God considers us the saved his spouse is what I'm trying to get at. Turn to Leviticus chapter 20. Leviticus chapter 20. So God considers us his spouse. What does that mean? This is a theme that is all over the Bible that we belong to the Lord. That we belong to the Lord. Look at Leviticus chapter 20 and verse number 26. Leviticus chapter 20 and verse number 26. The Bible says, And ye shall be holy unto me for I the Lord am holy and have severed you from other people that ye should be mine. Sounds like we belong to him. Turn to 1st Corinthians chapter 6. You say that's the that's the Old Testament. I mean I don't even know what that means when people say that but whatever. Go to the go to the New Testament 1st Corinthians chapter 6 and look at verse number 20. 1st Corinthians chapter 6 and verse number 20. 1st Corinthians chapter 6 and verse number 20. The Bible says, For ye are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's. Look we belong to the Lord and he is jealous over us. Look God is jealous. God considers us his spouse and he's jealous over that. Now turn to one chapter over to 1st Corinthians chapter 7. We belong to him. 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and look at verse number 2. Now this also can be applied to a husband and wife in the church everywhere. In 1st Corinthians chapter 7 we see this. Look at 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and verse number 2. So God is jealous over his spouse which is us because we belong to him. So jealousy we can look at as something that belongs to you that you know you are you are protective over because it's yours is what the Bible teaches. 1st Corinthians 7 look at verse 2. Nevertheless to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife. Sounds like she belongs to him. And let every woman have her own husband. Sounds like he belongs to her. Let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power over her own body but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body but the wife. Verse number 5. Defraud ye not one another except it be consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence. See this talking about the physical relationship between a man and a woman but the overall theme here is that you belong to your wife men and men your wife belongs to you. You belong to each other. Kind of sounds like two became one flesh. Genesis 2 turn to turn to Proverbs chapter 14. I mean Genesis 2 24 says therefore shall man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh. So God is jealous over us and the Bible also teaches that God is you know we are God's spouse and thus a husband and wife you know belong to each other so it is okay to have godly jealousy towards your spouse or for your spouse because she is yours he is yours. So jealousy is not a bad thing. There's a godly jealousy in the Bible. Now on the flip side of that the dictionary told us that jealousy and envy are the same thing. Look what the Bible says about envy. Look at Proverbs chapter 14. A sound heart is the life of the flesh but envy the rottenness of the bones. That doesn't sound good. Envy is bad folks. Turn to James chapter 4. So why why is it bad? What is the difference? The dictionary tells me that it's the same. What does the Bible say? Turn to James chapter 4. Another reason you need to have a King James Bible by the way because the new Bible verses they just flip this word around like it's just they just use these words flippantly like it doesn't matter what these words say or what these words mean. James 4 look at verse number 5 talking about envy. Do you think that the scripture saith in vain the spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy. So here we see envy tied to lust. Here we see envy tied to lust. Look at Proverbs 27 verse 4. Proverbs 27 and verse number 4. The Bible says wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous but who is able to stand before envy. Look envy is not the same as jealousy folks. Envy is lusting or coveting over something that is not yours. Jealousy is being protective over something that is yours. Completely different things. One is good one is bad. Okay so look this is another reason you need a King James Bible. You need a King James Bible because I mean look the modern Bible versions and even the dictionary itself have blended these two words together and look you're gonna get a you're gonna get a lot of it first of all it dumbs down the English language and you know you're gonna get a lot of rounding errors. Remember we talked about rounding errors out of out of the King James sermon last Sunday night. Look jealous is something that belongs to you. Envy is covetousness over something that belongs to someone else. Covetousness and envy go hand in hand. So how do we apply this to the church? Now that we know these two differences how do we apply this to the church? How do we apply this to appropriate relationships between men and women in the church? That's where we're gonna go now. Now look I'm gonna get very specific. I'm gonna talk to the married people and then I want to talk to the single people about what's appropriate and what's not. So first let's start with the married people. Married people you need to understand and everybody actually needs to understand this we'll get to the single people in a minute that somebody's spouse belongs to to their spouse. Okay you should respect that fact in the church in general in your life but in the church we will respect that fact. Men and women not married should not be in conversations together. What does that mean? Does that mean that I can't say hi to somebody? No that that's not what I'm talking about. Okay that's not I'm not talking about being friendly I'm not talking about saying hi to somebody good morning to somebody I'm talking about being in separated conversations with someone who is not your wife. Or not your husband. It's not appropriate it's not appropriate because look here's why I mean let me just give you the two scenarios married men talking to other married women that's a scenario number one or married men talking to single women either of those two are not appropriate situations and look I've seen some of this here and it should not happen and vice versa with women okay people today will say this is crazy people today will say this is paranoid people today will say this is sexist but look what I mean I don't even know what that means because here in this church we acknowledge the difference between men and women first of all we acknowledge their roles in life and the man in the marriage we acknowledge these differences because the Bible acknowledges these differences and we are not going to play this game where just nothing's wrong and you know nothing is appropriate everyone else in this world folks has blinders on when it comes to these things I actually have a recent story from a work situation I was in and I mean I don't go to work and say I am not allowed to be in a room with I mean I don't go and announce these things but look I just keep myself appropriate in work situations I don't have to I just make sure there's a lot of planning that goes in up here to make sure I'm not in an appropriate situation there's women in the workplace today there's not me it's not my wheelhouse if another man sends his wife to work that's my wife's not there but some other men's wives are so I must respect that fact the Bible says but look I was in a situation where I had a person that works at a different company and this person and I would get together and we would drive around job sites every week every two weeks and it was just this guy and I in a truck every single week you know one-on-one just checking some things out well it turns out that the person that was replacing me was a woman and this woman was to now go and do this this drive and I just mentioned to one of the bosses that hey you might want to make sure that it is okay with this man that he drive around with you know woman you know one-on-one just to make sure you don't offend him or put him in an awkward position everyone's like that I just said it to one person he's like that could be considered sexist today I'm like consider it whatever you want but you might want to just be polite and just there's nothing to nothing against the woman it was about putting this married man in a situation that he might not want to be in that's all look I'm watching women and men go to lunch together carpool together I've been watching this for 10 15 20 years it's not appropriate and many times it's not just the appearance of evil let me tell you but look we must avoid these appearances of evil we will not do this type of thing in the church I don't care what the world thinks at all I mean if you think that this is weird and you're gonna go with the world on this two things two things that I'll just remind you of first of all 50% of marriages in this country right now and in divorce that's half and that depends on who you ask that's a conservative number I've heard up to 75% talking to certain you know different polls and the second thing is you know you'll not do it here whatever you want to do in your life you know the church is different okay you do not make the rules here so we'll have an appropriate biblical culture here men and women should not be having conversations with the opposite sex other than their spouse when they're married it's not appropriate because why because it could provoke the other spouse to jealousy that's the first reason why is that guy always talking to my wife all the time she doesn't ever even want to talk to me but yet she's talking to brother so and so all the time look it's not appropriate and it will it will give that spirit it will get that turn to Deuteronomy chapter 5 I don't have this in my notes but Deuteronomy chapter 5 look it will provoke that spirit of jealousy you say but that's bad that spirit of jealousy somebody shouldn't be jealous over somebody else talking to his wife that's an insecure person no there's a spirit of jealousy there look at the Bible it talks about this in Deuteronomy I'm sorry numbers I think it's numbers 5 numbers 5 28 29 sorry numbers 529 so this is talking about a woman who's been caught or been accused of adultery here in numbers chapter 5 and in this case she was brought and she was either guilty or not and look if she was not guilty of adultery then there was just nothing that happened it's fine and she had children you know and and everything's good but look at verse number 29 of numbers chapter 5 this is the law of jealousies when a wife go with the side to another instead of her husband and is defiled or when the spirit of jealousy sorry number 30 cometh upon him and he'd be jealous over his wife and I shall set the woman before the Lord it doesn't say then they shall tell the husband quit being jealous moron you know it says no they shall set the woman before the Lord and the priest shall execute upon her all his law look they take her to a judge if there's a spirit of jealousy they're like okay why they investigate why that happened they investigate and look and if there there was no cause for it then nothing happens but look that we don't want to provoke a spirit of jealousy in anybody all right and look it could appear evil that's the second thing it could appear evil and don't tell me that it won't because it will because whenever you have a whenever I see a married man in a married woman going out to lunch together in in one of their I mean everybody is saying what's going on there even if they won't say it out loud that's what they're thinking and we won't have that type of thing here they're like why are those two friends here's another statement as a married man you should never have a friend who is a female ever you're like what that's extreme no that's the truth what why would you want that anyway you ever met a guy who I just never wants to talk to the other guys it's weird something's wrong there I noticed that that's like a red flag for me whenever you see like a teenage teenage young man that never wants to talk to the other man or whatever I mean it's weird you know and I get it teenage young men are gonna want to talk to teenage young women and we'll get to that in a minute but when you have a man who just never wants to talk to the other men red flag something's wrong you should never married men should never have a friend who is female ever blanket statement I don't like blanket statements but that's a good one all right look we don't want the appearance of evil we don't want the spirit of jealousy provoked between a spouse right a wife is can have a spirit of jealousy over her husband why is my husband constantly talking I mean he never talks to me why it doesn't mean that something's happening but it appears evil to other people and it provokes the spirit of jealousy in his spouse it's no good don't do it so those are the those are the rules for the marrieds single people what are the rules here so first of all let me define single turn to Luke chapter 16 turn to Luke chapter 16 the definition of single as far as this church goes is this eligible to be married that's what the definition of single is in this church you're like what yeah it's gonna be different out there it means eligible to be married meaning if you're divorced you're not single according to the definition of eligible to be married look at Luke chapter 16 you say why is that here's why Luke chapter the Bible that's why look at Luke chapter 16 in verse number 18 the Bible says whosoever putteth away his wife these are red words in your in your Bible by the way meaning these are Jesus's words whosoever putteth away his wife that means divorces his wife and marrieth another commiteth adultery so that covers the guy right that covers the guy who who you know he's married and he finds somebody better and then he's like I'm gonna divorce this one and get married to that one no the Bible says Jesus says that that's adultery what that man did and what about that what about the woman that's divorced well keep reading and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband commiteth adultery so if translation if you're divorced the Bible teaches you should stay unmarried that's what the Bible teaches so the definition of single people that are talking to other single people in the church in an appropriate situation should be two people that are eligible to be married when I say single people that's what I mean okay so I mean I'm not any look if you're divorced I'm not trying to be mean I'm just explaining you know what the Bible says you know and you know people have gotten divorced people get divorced I understand that but you just need to do the right thing going forward is what the key is okay but we're talking about the culture of the church so let's talk about the single people most of which are gonna be younger people here's here's rule number one single people should only be in conversations with other eligible single people well what does that mean that means that they should not be in conversations with married people of the opposite sex or conversations with divorced people of the opposite sex because they're not eligible to be married and when these conversations happen they should be in an appropriate environment appropriate setting not in a private room somewhere you know like out in the open of the church you know the church is an appropriate setting turn to 1st Corinthians chapter 6 you say why this is extreme oh I'm not even good I'm not even getting started on this one you say this is extreme it's like you're crazy no I'll tell you what crazy is I'm gonna explain to you what crazy is okay turn to 1st Corinthians chapter 6 single people should only be in conversations with other eligible married single eligible to be married single people in the church in an appropriate open setting not back in the corner you know in you know in the kitchen somewhere out of the open where people can see and it's it that's what is appropriate here okay look at 1st Corinthians chapter 6 you say why you're crazy no you're crazy the Bible says flee fornication every sin that a man doeth is without the body but he that committed fornication sinneth against his own body fornication was the definition of fornication it is a physical relationship between a man and a woman that is outside of marriage everybody thinks this is crazy now the Bible says that the physical relationship between a man and a woman is to be exclusively inside the marriage period the Bible says flee fornication doesn't say don't fornicate so doesn't even get close to it it is a serious temptation for young people especially today look here's the world's way you say how big of a temptation is it how big of a temptation is it look here's the thing one in four people one in four people as of two years ago believe that fornication is wrong only one in four seventy five percent of the people in this country think that physical relations between a man and a woman is okay is moral outside of marriage that's insane look it's one thing it's one thing to be you know just you know in sin but at least knowing what's right but you know what the next stage after that is is that you just change your own morality to what fits you and what fits your kids I mean that's what happened let me let's be honest that's what happened with the baby boomers right all their kids turned out to be you know fornicating you know wicked people I'm not saying all their kids okay but you know and they just changed their morals how many how many older people over the age of 60 do know that they started out conservative and now they're liberal it's huge I see it all the time look this this figure was almost 50% in 2001 50% in 2001 thought it was wrong to fornicate outside of marriage which is the definition of fornication and now it's 25% that's how fast things are going down this slope okay 20 years ago the CDC's national survey of family growth for 2015 through 2017 you're like oh yeah but now hardly anybody does it right found that 90% of young men 15 to 49 I have fornicated before marriage pretty much everybody's doing it so it's kind of a problem you know if you're reading the Bible anyway or you can just change your morality and then I guess it's not a problem but here's the thing according to statistics by WebMD 75% of marriages with infidelity eventually end up in divorce and about 40% of divorces in general are because of infidelity so what I'm trying to get you to understand and you'll never see this connection in a study but this attitude this culture of fornication is following itself into marriage that's what's happening this culture of fornication kids they grow up fornication is fine their parents are like fornication is fine the kids all who are your kids all they're living with so-and-so and we wish they would get married and pretty soon it's just they're living with another person and another person and another person and it becomes normal that's where it's at today okay and then they get actually married to somebody and they're like well what's the difference they've been living with people you know their whole life and then they get married to somebody and then you know infinite now it's adultery and they end up getting divorced because of it look it just it's the same culture that just follows them right into marriage that's where you get your 50% your 75% divorce rate right there but wait there's more let me give you some more worldly wisdom 20% of the u.s. population that's everybody that's one in five has an STD you're like I can't believe you're talking about this in church look somebody's got to talk about this 20% one in five people has a sexually transmitted disease half of these are youth 15 to 24 year olds meaning one in four or one in three of these teenagers not these teenagers but fornicating teenagers has a disease from fornication turn to Ephesians chapter 5 that should make you like go turn to Ephesians chapter 5 look there's the world for you folks that's the world that's what the world's producing that's what the world's beliefs the world's moral slide that's what it's producing what do we want for the next generation what do we want for our kids you're like this is old-fashioned yes it is this is a fundamental Baptist Church and we're not going to change the fundamentals for anybody I don't care how bad it gets okay ninety nine point nine nine nine nine every single kid except for the kids in this church are fornicating I don't care we're not changing the Bible is the Bible though the world I am the Lord I change not Ephesians chapter 5 look at verse number 3 but fornication and all uncleanness verse number 4 neither filthiness look there's a reason that fornication is called unclean and filthy it's because it is at least a disease many of these diseases can't be cured many of these diseases will cause cancer they will cause women to not be able to have children I mean it's worse on the women all the time so yeah protect your daughters it's worse on the women all the time look that's the world's wisdom and that's that's where it will lead you into filthiness and uncleanness fornication filthiness and marriages ending in divorce and this this this culture that you can't kick off one thing that being in the ministry and I kind of knew this a little bit but being in the ministry will show you that it's really hard for people to get their culture off of their back especially somebody that's a little older maybe past the age of 30 there they say that once you're 30 you're set in your ways that's why your music is set in your mind you know many times your political opinions are set in your mind at that point look but but we have to be different that's why we're having sermons on church culture because I you know it shouldn't matter what the culture you came from or what you were taught you have to understand that there's a very very good chance that it's all wrong but the Bible will lead you to appropriate relationships from the start and they will end in lifelong marriages that that can be the best gift you could ever have in your life on this earth you say salvation is pretty good I'm not talking about spiritual gifts okay look a great marriage is something that can be I think probably you know up there with kids and a good marriage should be one of the best blessings that you could have on this earth and and what if you follow what the Bible teaches you say my marriage isn't good right now look you can change that too you can change your culture and you can fix your marriage and you can do all these you just have to listen to what the Bible says and forget what everybody else is telling you it's it's the opposite of the truth so let's go back to church culture single people talking to eligible single people of the opposite sex not married people not divorced people and in an appropriate atmosphere and look outside the church and this isn't my wheelhouse look you're like can't I go on a date as a single person yes you can go on a date as a single person but someone should go with you you should have an appropriate you know you should not be riding alone in a car together a single man in a single woman should not happen you're like wow that's old-fashioned you're you bet it is flea fornication don't even get close to it don't even put that opportunity in front of you this is how you do it preferably your parents would be you know the the chaperones in that type of situation so for so let's just recap to avoid the appearance of evil and to respect the jealousy a spouse has over their husband or wife we need an appropriate culture but look this I'm being specific because I've seen some of this stuff here okay I've seen some of this stuff here and I'm not saying that there was evil intent or anything like that but we don't want to see this type of thing so in the church we need to avoid the appearance of evil we shouldn't see married men talking to married or single women married men you cannot have a friend who is female I'm sorry it's not appropriate single men are single women talking to ineligible people of the opposite sex married divorced etc but look please don't misunderstand me this does not mean you cannot be friendly this does not mean that you know when my wife walks in the door that every man is to be like you know that's not what I'm talking about okay let's be reasonable here all right or even ladies that you know specifically ladies that you can't have access to your pastor you're saying well it can I not be in a church and have access to my pastor if I need advice or something like that let me explain to you how that works okay first of all you can ask my wife because you know what my wife ladies you know what my wife does with many things as the Bible said that she should she will ask me so you could ask my wife could you ask your husband's opinion on this and my wife will ask me and I can talk to you through my wife that's one way I can talk to you you know in person no problem but there's never going to be a time when I'm you know talking with a woman on in a counseling type situation and my wife is not there so my wife is just going to be there that's just a way and preferably your husband would be there too but that's there's never going to be a situation like that with me and somebody else's wife or a single person or whatever in a counseling I mean it's never gonna happen it's not appropriate it's not even close to appropriate you say but you but you know you're gonna be the pastor of this church god willing they don't mess it up but but you know you're you know but but you're a pastor you're the spiritual leader look do you know how many pastors have done wicked things look I mean everyone thinks that everyone thinks that oh this is church nothing bad could ever happen here but there's a reason that there's cameras everywhere in the church because look I mean we're I mean we're not paranoid but yeah we kind of are when it comes to protecting people okay look you can't just be like oh these people are from church they can just watch my kids or these people are from church nothing ever you that oh these these two are always hanging out together this married man and married woman look I've seen affairs happen in church it's ridiculous my wife and I were just talking about it yesterday and and you kind of you know what we we all knew something was going on because you're like that's weird that she's always out talking to all these different people and he's always out talking to other people besides his wife it's strange everybody knew it was strange nobody wanted to say anything but look it appeared evil so we're gonna avoid that appearance here you know I mean so don't forget that I mean especially when it comes to people like watching your kids to be careful I mean be careful and this isn't the scope of the sermon but I mean all their church people what is you know what we're family integrated we're family integrated let me tell you another story and I'm gonna mention this to a couple of you but actually got insurance for the new church and this is super interesting but I actually got insurance for the new church last week and the guy who was going over the insurance policy with me he asked this question he asked this question to me like over what kind of coverages we need liability coverages and things like that if somebody would get hurt in the church he's like how many people go to the church and then he said okay what kind of things you have and he asked me this weird weird question he's like well what kind of breakout groups do you have at the church he's like like small groups like youth groups like Sunday schools and all this and it's like we don't have any groups like that we're never gonna have any groups like that I'm not saying we're not gonna have you know youth activities someday but what there's gonna be you know supervision and all that stuff and there's never gonna be all these breakout groups these small little Bible studies of you know young marrieds and all this stuff at people's houses without the pastor there and all this kind of stuff I mean he's like what kind of breakout groups do you have especially for the kids and I was like none we're family integrated the kids are in the church there's no Sunday school there's no breakout groups like that he's like okay you won't need the I mean I let me just say the appropriate the same type of church the Catholic Church the same kind of policy the Catholic Church probably needs or the Boy Scouts need we don't need that because look insurance companies they know when the where these things happen they know the risk like they're experts at doing risk analysis on things because they're a for-profit company but I thought it was super interesting so look we're talking about being appropriate in the church that's just a side note but here's another thing let me just end with this be appropriate in your life you know this is this is the church you know I mean it's this is my scope here right and and we will have things be a certain appropriate way here and but look you would you would be wise to apply these things to your life you would be wise it will help your marriage young people it will help you avoid fornication you know as the Bible says that you should apply these things to your life it will lead to long healthy relationships both married and unmarried a lot of these seems these things seem weird especially maybe to you young people today but it's the culture here okay and you'd be wise to forget as much as you possibly can of what the world has taught you it's got it's gone bad it's gone bad and it's getting worse I mean one in four I was I mean I look I know how bad the world is I preach on it like every single Sunday and one in four only 25% of people think look I could I could agree I would have not been surprised if the number would have been like people that are just allowing it people that are allowing their children to be in fornication people that are looking the other way see you know that their children are in fornication or that people are in fornication but I never would have thought that it was only 25% that actually thought it was wrong to be in fornication I mean I mean you have got to be kidding me as something as something as basic as that as that the the relationship between I mean just think of the question is is the physical relationship between a man and a woman only for marriage or does it not matter if it's outside of marriage and 75% of people say it doesn't matter that's where it's at I mean you should all be thanking God that like you you have the Bible in front of you I mean we have become a society without morals and it's just leading to just destruction and disease of just generation after generation and after generation and we can avoid it all here we can avoid it all here and you can avoid it all in your families you can have healthy happy marriages you can raise godly children that grow up and you know what they want to get married it pure and they want to stay married to the same person for their whole life and they want to have a great marriage I mean look it's possible it's possible but you just got to forget everything else and that's why we're talking about these things apply it to your life not just the church the entire Bible apply it to your life and see how things go for you let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer you