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Amen. So keep your place in 1 Samuel chapter 20. This is, of course, the continuing story of David and Jonathan as Saul is after David. And we see Jonathan's actions here to protect his friend. Just a great example of friendship in the Bible, Jonathan and David. We'll look at that in just a few minutes. But what we're going to talk about this morning is friendship. We're going to talk about the idea of friendship. Now, I preached a sermon, I think it was, a little over, maybe it was close to a year ago on friendship. And I talked in that, that's when I brought the cat to church. And everyone will remember that, right? I brought the cat in and just talked about being friendly and how we are to be friendly. And you're to kind of get outside to be friendly. You turn to Proverbs chapter 18. You know, the context of that sermon was no matter what your, you know, your personality is, is that we should step outside that and be friendly. The Bible says in Proverbs 18, 24, it says that a man that hath friends must show himself friendly. So if you want to have friends, the Bible is saying you must be friendly. You're like, well, you know, that was the context of that, the whole idea of that sermon was that, you know, it was basically to try to convince you to be a friendly church. You want to be a friendly church. And, you know, it's everybody's kind of common, common tendencies to want to just talk to the people they know the best and just kind of stay within their circles of comfort. But when we have visitors in the church, when we have, you know, look, you should just get up and talk to people. We should be getting up and going and being friendly and showing ourselves friendly. That was the whole idea of that, that sermon. We want to have a culture here of being friendly people. When people come in to the church, they want to come in here and we want them to walk away thinking, those people were really friendly. Those people were friendly. So that was the context of that sermon. So you say, what about this morning? So this morning, I want to talk about something a little bit broader. I want to talk about something a little bit broader. Keep your place in Proverbs 18, 24. And I want to look at this idea. And I'm going to give you three simple steps this morning from the Bible, just looking at the mainly Proverbs that talk about friendship and what the Bible says about friendship. And I want to talk about having friendships and keeping friendships this morning. And I want to give you three steps this morning that will allow you in your life, just three very basic biblical steps to allow you to have and keep friendships for the long term in your life. This is something that a lot of you say, this sounds very simple, but this is something that a lot of people struggle with in their lives. Not only do, I think the statistic the last time I looked at it was 25 to 30% of people in the United States, this is outside of Christianity, outside of church, 25% of people, that's one in four people, have no friends. They have no close friends. I'm sure it got worse over the last two years. But what I want to look at this morning is how it is very biblical, it is very biblical, and it is a great blessing to have friends, like friends defined as what the Bible says, and to keep those friends for a long time. So if you are the type of person that, you know, you have, I have friends, but I kind of have different friends every six months, or I have different friends every year or whatever. Look, that is something that in the Christian life should not happen in your Christian life. You should have friends for a lifetime, you should have friends for years and years and years, you should have the same friends. So that is what I want to look at this morning. I'm going to give you three basic steps on how to have long-term friendships in your Christian life. So the first one is this, okay, keep your place in 1 Samuel chapter 20. You're going to look down at Proverbs chapter 18 and look at verse number 24 again, okay. The Bible says in Proverbs 18, 24, you know, a man that hath friends must show himself friendly. And there is a friend that sticketh closer to a brother. So look, what the Bible here is saying is that it is possible to have close friends. It is possible to have close friends that are closer than even your brother. I mean brother, that means that's talking about your literal brother, like the, you know, your brother or your sister, you know, in your family. So the Bible says that it's possible to have very close friends. So the first thing I want to look at this morning, and this is the big miss with most people, okay. Step one in having long-term friendships, and this is the big miss with people, is having the proper defining principles of who your friends will be. That is step number one. Turn to Romans chapter 14, just get ready for that. But what I'm talking about is what I would talk about in the engineering world of having the proper design criteria for your friendships. Like, who are my friends going to be? Who should I be friends with? What does that mean if someone, and this is the big miss for most people. This is, if you've ever heard about people saying, oh well he fell into the wrong crowd. You know, he fell into the wrong crowd, he fell into, you know, a group of bad friends. This is the miss right here, is that their friends, the design criteria for their friendships was wrong, okay. Design criteria, what do I mean? If somebody comes to Brother Jeff and they want to build a building, the design criteria would mean, well, this building has to hold this many people. This building can only be one story. This building has to fit within this footprint of land, or of this lot, or whatever it is. The design criteria is just what you base, you know, that thing off of. So, what are our friendships to be based off of? And this is the big miss that most people have. You know, this would be somebody, for example, you know, it's like, what do I want out of this friendship? Is the kind of things that you have to ask. These are the designing principles that you need to think about when you look at who you should be friends with. What is important to me? When you think about things that people choose to align themselves and people choose friends with, think about things like, you know, a motorcycle club. You know, this is one way people do it. Like, oh, we all bought the same brand of motorcycle, so let's all be friends. Look, that's not the right way, but that's what I'm talking about. What are the designing principles of who I'm going to be friends with? You know, many people are like, we like the same sport, so we're all going to be friends. Many people, well, we have the same hobbies, so we'll all be friends. Look, there's nothing wrong with sports and there's nothing wrong on its face with hobbies, but these should not be the designing criteria, the designing principles of who we are friends with in our lives. When you think about, you know, people, I mean, people have some pretty silly stuff. Like, we all like Star Trek, so let's be friends. You know, let's be in a Star Trek club or whatever, right? A comic book club. These are the shallow things that people today are using to define who their friends are. Okay, but the problem with the Christian is we can't do that. We can't do that because we can't, I mean, some people define friendships just by we all like the same sin. You know, this is the drinking buddies right here. You know, they literally, they're only friends with each other because they're validating each other in their own sin. I mean, that's the drinking buddy club right there. The guys that go out after work and just drink together. It's like we're all just validating ourselves in our own sin. That's all that is. I mean, these are the wrong ways to define friendships. These are how people fall into the wrong crowd. This is how, you know, people fall into the wrong or bad friendships. So the first thing, I just, I'll give you just a personal example of how I define my friendships. Okay. My, my friendships are defined by biblical principles and doctrine. That's what defines who my friends are and who they are not. You know, I mean, they're people, they're saved, you know, they're saved people, they believe the right gospel, but much more than that, much more than that, they, they, look, if you're saved and you study the Bible, you go to church, you under, it's pretty easy to understand the basic principles of the Bible. It's pretty easy to see what God wants you to be doing in your life, with your life, with your family, with your children. This is why we come to a church like this. This is why I went to Verity Baptist Church. This is why you come here. So I define my friendships on people that, you know, based their lives on, I mean, they're saved and then they base their lives on biblical principles and doctrines. If it's in the Bible, that's what we believe. But here's the thing. Are you in Romans 14? Outside of that, outside of that, I'm pretty lenient actually on who my friends are. Much, much, much more than I used to be 20 years ago before I was saved. Look at Romans chapter 14. We kind of get a guiding principle. Romans 14, it doesn't go through everything here, but what it's trying to get you to understand is a philosophy. It's trying to give you a philosophy here, a methodology on things that you should be concerned about and things that you shouldn't be concerned about. Look at Romans 14 and verse number six. We're just getting kind of a guiding principle on friendships here. So like I said, my friendships are defined by people that, you know, they're saved, they believe the right gospel and they're living their lives by the Bible. They're living their lives, they're raising their children by the Bible. But look at Romans 14 and verse number six. My friendships are not defined on everyone having the exact same opinion of me as me about everything. Okay, but look, people will try to do this. My friendships are not based on that. Look at verse six of Romans 14. The Bible says, he that regardeth the day regardeth it unto the Lord and he that regardeth not the day to the Lord, he does not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord for he giveth God thanks and he that eateth not to the Lord, he eateth not and giveth God thanks. So this gives two examples right here. It gives an example of somebody who regards a holiday, a holy day, and somebody who doesn't celebrate a holy day. Somebody that celebrates Christmas and somebody that doesn't celebrate Christmas. It's saying, hey, as long as they both do it to the Lord. I know if one person is not celebrating Christmas so they can be pompous and arrogant and degrade those who do celebrate Christmas. But if somebody feels like in their conscience, well, I don't really think Jesus was born on that day. So we just choose not to celebrate that day. And then the person that does say, well, we might not believe Jesus was born on that day or whatever, but we find it a nice day to recognize the birth of Christ. It's like they're both right, is what the Bible is saying. It's like, don't be getting after each other over those types of things. The same thing with eating certain things and not eating certain things. Some people may, you know, say, I don't like crickets or whatever. I'm not going to let that one go for a while. But you know, I don't like crickets because I believe, you know, I mean, look, there's nothing wrong with eating crickets. I can't even come up with a biblical reason that you would not eat crickets other than it's a bug and why would you eat it? But anyway, the point is, is that we're not supposed to divide over those things. We're not supposed to divide over things like that. It says in verse seven, for none of us liveth to himself and no man dieth himself. For whether we live, we live unto the Lord. Whether we die, we die into the Lord. Whether we live therefore or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end, Christ both died and rose and revived that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. Verse number 10 kind of wraps it up. But why does thou judge thy brother or why does thou set it not thy brother for we should all stand before the judgment seat of Christ? It's just saying like on these things that are just outside the Bible, the Bible doesn't even really, I mean, even like Christian standards. I mean, maybe, maybe I don't go to a place that another person goes to and I choose that, you know, I don't go to this place because I have too many TVs and I don't want my kids at the ages that they are seeing the things that are on the TVs or whatever. But somebody else does go to those places because they're like, it's just saying, don't, we're all going to stand before Jesus and find out what we did right and wrong. It's like, there's no reason to separate over these types of things. It's talking about, you know, outside of like basic biblical principles that the Bible defines specifically is saying, don't be it not, don't be, don't be divisive against your brother over these things. It's what it's saying. So this is talking about like different standards, different opinions on things, you know, outside of like the basic doctrines of the Bible. Like I said, I'm pretty lenient. I mean, I know a lot of my friends have different opinions than me on several different things, but we all agree on the principles of the Bible for sure because that's my look, that's my design criteria. Turn to Proverbs chapter 27. Turn to Proverbs chapter 27. Let's look at some examples of this. Go to Proverbs chapter 27. Examples of this are things like, you know, your view of, of history. You know, maybe, you know, you have a different view of something that happened 300 years ago or a historical event than I do. Hey, whatever. You know, I mean, that's, that's just the way, I mean, politics. I mean, I care less. I think I care less about politics every single day of my life. I'm certainly not going to like separate from friends that I have, you know, that we both believe the Bible. I'm certainly not going to kind of separate from friends over politics or, you know, a view of something that's happening in the world. I remember almost a year ago, I was talking with Pastor Anderson. I was talking with Pastor Anderson and we were talking about all kinds of things, like all of these like big historical things. And we're talking about, you know, the, the world wars. We were talking about the Revolutionary War and somehow, somehow, I don't know how it got brought up. Maybe I brought it up. I don't know, but the French Revolution got brought up. Now, I know some stuff and I have opinions about the French Revolution and what happened there and what I think, you know, my opinions on, you know, the philosophies that were at play there, but I'm by no means an expert on the French Revolution. As a matter of fact, it was kind of such a question mark in my mind that I, like two or three years ago, I bought this book that's like this thick because I was like, I would just like to know more about the French Revolution. I bought this book like this thick and I haven't read it yet. It's still sitting on my bookshelf. I haven't had time to read it. And I was talking with Pastor Anderson and I hope he wouldn't mind me telling this story, but we're just kind of going off on our, our, our thoughts on the French Revolution and he had quite a different take on it than I did. And I was, I was just like, I'd never really heard that take before, but it was also very clear that he had really looked into the French Revolution. He really knew like a lot of the different players that I had never even really heard of and it was pretty clear, but look, it was just kind of like, I kind of came away from that conversation being like, you know, maybe he's right about that. I don't know if he's it. I need to look into the French Revolution more is kind of how I came away from that conversation. But I certainly wasn't like, oh, he has a different opinion than me. Like, it's like, no, the Bible says in Proverbs 27, it says iron sharpened with iron. It says, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friends. Look, I don't want a bunch of yes men for my friends. I mean, it's okay that, you know, a friend of yours would have a different take on something because guess what? That sharpens you. That makes you better in many cases. I'm not talking about different Bible doctrines and Pastor Anderson and I were both to, you know, we're both very clear on like, you know, just like even as we got out of that conversation, just being like, hey, all that matters is the Bible. Amen. Amen. But look, a man can sharpen the countenance of his friends. I mean, who wants a bunch of friends that just agree with everything that they say? I don't. I mean, some people I'm sure want that. And some people would have a very, some people have a very difficult time. Some people have a very difficult time if somebody doesn't agree with every single opinion that they have. These types of people are not going to have any friends in their life. Because there's like no one on the planet that has every single same opinion as you on every, everything. So, look, the Bible says that your friends, your friends should sharpen you. There's a, there's a good saying that I love. It says, if you're the smartest one in the room, you're in the wrong room. You should hang around friends that, that make you better. Pastor Mejia, who's coming here in just a couple of weeks, him and I were talking for several hours and he was talking to me about how he got started preaching and the different types of preaching that he does. And he was just kind of just talking for, we were in a car for a long time and we were talking for hours. He was talking about all these different types of preaching and the, the, the preaching that he likes and the, the benefits of each different one. And I'm just sitting there and I'm just like taking it all in because that's something that I'm not even close to an expert on. And so it's, it's great to be sharpened by people like this. But if you're, you get into conversations and you're the kind of person where you're like, I need to, I need to at least pretend like I know everything about this. Or I need to have friends where I know everything or I'm the one that knows the most about everything or at least I need to make it look that way. Look, you're not going to have any friends. And if you do, they're not going to sharpen you. You're going to have a bunch of people that just agree with whatever you say. And that's, that's not what the Bible says friendship should be. Friends should sharpen friends. Friends should sharpen friends. So look, I mean, I, cause I'm an expert on some things, but I'm the, who's an expert on everything? Nobody. All right. So look, you should have biblical defining principles on who your friends are. I'm not talking about small doctrines either. I'm not talking about, we all have to have the exact same opinion on Bible prophecy. Cause guess what? Most people that have opinions on Bible prophecy, including myself are going to be wrong in a lot of places because the Bible's not clear on it. Like who's Babylon? Is it us? Is it not? I don't know. I have an opinion, but it could be wrong. You know, look, it's mainly just these biblical doctrines and principles, the main ones, and then living and adhering to these principles, raising our children to these principles, you know, all the other stuff. I mean, this is how, this is how Christians, by the way, this is how Christians, I look at some of them who my friends are and I look at where they came from. I look at their cultures. I have friends that came from completely different cultures than me. I have friends that were born in different countries than me. I, but we're all great friends. Why? Because we all adhere to these biblical principles, right? That is the first step in being able to have long lasting friendships is choosing your friends on the proper criteria and everything. Look, everything outside of that, that's how, that's how like we, people would come and they would look at who I'm friends with. They would look at who we're all friends with in this church and they would be shocked because it's not how most people today choose their friends. Most people choose their friends on very shallow things. People that grew up in the same town as me, people that went to the same high school as me, all these shallow things is what people define their, their friendships. The Christian friendship is defined on the Bible only, which means we're going to have friends from all different backgrounds and all different cultures. But now we all just, we're, we're striving for this culture. This is how you will have friends for your whole life. Turn to Proverbs chapter 17. So that's the first one. That's the first one. And most people are a complete miss on the first one. All right, so if you pick your friends, if you choose your friends with the right design criteria, you're heading in the right direction, but there's more to it than that. Turn to Proverbs chapter 17. Turn to Proverbs chapter 17. Now we're going to get into the story a little bit about David and Jonathan, but look at Proverbs chapter 17 and verse number 17. The Bible says a friend loveth at all times and a brother is born for adversity. The second key to having long lasting friendships, notice how it says at all times. The second key to having long lasting friendships in the Christian life is loyalty, loyalty to your friends. The Bible says a friend loveth at all times. You know what that means? That means the good times and that means the bad times in your life. I mean, you ever heard of the, the, the saying fair weather friends, fair weather friends. That's a friend that, Hey, you know, this is, this is, this is the billionaire. This is what he has. He has fair weather friends because he has friends that are, they're friends with him because like everything's good. Like he has all kinds of money and it's just all, everything's paid for and all this. This is the type of person that, you know, wants to have friends by just paying them and buying them things and just giving them. I mean, these are fair weather friends that you're going to have. If that's how you operate fair weather friends, they're there, they're your friend as long as things are good, but you lose that money. You go through hard times in your life and the fair weather friends are going to leave you. Turn to John chapter 15. Turn to John chapter 15. So the second thing that you need to understand about friendship and having a long lasting friendship is you should be a loyal friend. A friend loveth at all times. The good times and the bad times. Look at John chapter 15 and then you're gonna put a bookmark in John chapter 15 cause we're going to come back there at the end of the sermon. Go to John chapter 15 and look at verse number 12. Jesus says, this is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. So Jesus is telling us, hey, love one another. And then look what he says. He says, greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for what? For his friends. So Jesus here is saying is like, how well, how loyal should I be to my friends? Well, um, if you really want to love your friends, you'll give your life for them is what Jesus is saying. He's like, that is, that is the best friend you could be a friend that is willing to literally sacrifice his life for his friend. So once you have friends defined properly, you should stand by your friends. Basically Jesus is saying, even if it costs you your life, I'm, my wife is reading a book now about these five missionaries. It's a very famous story. It's called through the gates of splendor. It's about these five Christian missionaries that wanted to reach this tribe in South America somewhere, I think, and they wanted to reach this tribe and this tribe was very violent and it was this tribe that was, that was just, I mean, it was just, this tribe was just wicked to hell. They were, they were violent. They just killed their own children and they just had like this burden to get the gospel to these people and these friends, these missionaries, they literally, they devoted their lives together. They're all from, they're from different backgrounds. These guys, they devoted their lives together and they all died together. They all died together with the goal, the mission of getting the gospel to this tribe. And look, their deaths ended up changing generations, changing, getting the gospel into that tribe and changing that tribe for generations. That tribe has changed today because of those five men that died. But what did they do? They literally died for each other. They literally laid down their life for the gospel. They really died for Jesus. I get that. But their friendship was defined by biblical principles by the gospel and their friendship, I'm sure they all didn't have the same opinion on everything. I'm sure maybe they had different political thoughts on certain things or what, but their main goal, they literally took to their deaths together. This is what it's about. They stood by each other. Here's the thing. People drop friends for the craziest things. People drop friends for differing opinions. People drop friends because friends make mistakes. Some friend makes a mistake or slips up. Look, I'm not talking about abandoning the Bible. I'm not talking about a friend that's like, I'm just going into sin now, you know, and you need to stand by me in my sin. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a friend that maybe wrongs you in some way and then, you know, even comes to you and apologizes if you're like, hey, I'm sorry, but that was wrong of me to do that. And the friend just ditched their friends. You know, here's the thing, folks, that we need to realize and people, people get this wrong about us all the time. We believe, we believe that we are saved by grace through faith alone. We are not saved. We are not going to heaven by anything that we do. Yet people will look at us. They will look at someone living a Bible believing Christian life. They will look at our separation. They will look at places that we go, places that we don't go, people that we hang out with, people we don't hang out with, things that we do, things that we don't do, and they'll look at us and they'll say, they'll say, man, you're a bunch of legalistic Pharisees. But here's the thing, we're not a bunch of legalistic Pharisees. We're not a bunch of legalistic Pharisees. See, our people see our principles. They see our separation and they assume that about us. Look, no, the legalistic Pharisees are the Pentecostals. They're the ones that they may look similar to us, but they're the ones who have a pastor saying, you better separate. You better do this stuff. You're going to go to hell. You better dress the right way. You're going to go to hell. We are doing these things and I'll show you at the end why we're doing these things, but we're doing these things not to get ourselves to heaven. We look different. So look, here's the thing, don't be a Pharisee in your friendships. Don't have a friend that messes up and then be like, we're done. I tell my kids all the time. I tell my kids all the time. I was like, you kids are so lucky. You kids are so lucky because they have friends. Look, you see some of these friends and a lot of you probably have these friends. They have friends from Verity. They have friends from First Works. They have friends from Sure Foundation. You know what? These are going to be friends for life that they're going to have, but if one of their friends does something wrong to them or slips up or whatever, it's not like, oh, I'm not your friend anymore. I mean, how would you feel if you had friends and you made a mistake in your life and all of a sudden your friends are like, we're not friends with you anymore because you made a mistake. You're like, thanks. I'd rather have no friends than have friends like that. Seriously. To have friends, you know what? Those are fair weather friends. Guess what? We're all living this biblical life. We're all living these biblical principles. We're all trying to raise our kids by these principles of separations. We're all trying to keep our kids from this wickedness out here and it can be done, but it might be possible that my kids or your kids or somebody's kids mess up. And then, you know, we're not to be these Pharisees that just want to destroy and just be like, I don't want to be your friend anymore. It's like, that's crazy. What kind of psychopath would be that kind of friend? And nobody, nobody would want a friend like that. You would rather, if all your friends were like that and you knew it, you would not want them as friends. So look, friends are going to mess up. Friends may have different opinions than you. And you know what? Even, even, but you need, you should be loyal to your friends. I'm not talking about like, if you know, I'm the pastor and all of a sudden, you know, like I do some horrible thing, like get divorced and then I'm just like, I should still be the pastor because I'm the pastor. That's, this isn't what I'm talking about. I'm saying like, we still adhere to biblical principles, but just one of your friends just slips up in his life. He slips up in his life. Go to first Samuel chapter 18, first Samuel chapter 18. You know what? It's the tough times. It's the being friends and it's being loyal through tough times. And here's the irony of it. If you've never, if you've never had a friend for longer than six months or you've never had a longterm friend, maybe you've never even, or you're just the kind of friend that anytime that you find something wrong with every one of your friends and then you drop them, you know, you, you change friends like you change shirts. If you're that type of friend, you have no idea what I'm talking about, but here's what really solidifies and strengthens friendships. The irony is this. What strengthens friendships is going through tough times with those friends. Loyalty strengthens friendships. You will probably not find a friendship in the Bible of two men that is stronger than the friendship of David and Jonathan. Look at first Samuel chapter 18 and verse number one, tough times and loyalty through tough times. It solidifies and strengthens friendships. Look at how it began with David and Jonathan and it came to pass when he admitted, made an end of speaking unto Saul that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. You know what had just happened? You know what had just happened in the previous chapter? This army, Saul and his son, their kingdom was being threatened. Their kingdom was being threatened by the Philistines. They were all, they were all literally terrified. They were terrified that they were going to be overthrown and destroyed by the Philistine army and this kid comes along and he, he wins this victory. He wins this victory for Saul and for Jonathan. This is when David killed Goliath. When he was speaking to Saul in verse number one, this is right after he brought Saul Goliath's head and it says this is what began and solidified the soul of Jonathan being knit to the soul of David. Friendships through trials are forged stronger. Turn to Ecclesiastes chapter seven. So strong. Look, you could have friendships so strong. This is super important to understand this part. Turn to Ecclesiastes chapter seven. You can have friendships that are so strong that Solomon himself compared the strength of this, of friendships between two men to, to even, even relationships that he could have with his wife. Or, you know, we know the messed up problems that he had there. But the point is, look at Ecclesiastes chapter seven in verse number 26. Ecclesiastes chapter seven in verse number 26. And I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets. So he's, he's, he's got some bitterness towards women, but this is his own fault. And her hands as bands. Whoso pleases God shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be taken by her. Behold, this have I found sayeth the preacher counting one by one to find out the account, which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not one man among a thousand have I found, but a woman among those have I not found. Now, of course, we know from first Kings chapter 11, that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. And that is what took his heart from the Lord. This is what he's lamenting here in verse number 26. He's saying, if a man is strong towards the Lord, he's like, he won't fall into the snare of these women because it was the women that took him away from the Lord. It was the women and him just, you know, giving into all their false gods and giving them what they wanted that they literally stole his heart from the Lord. And look, the Lord told him that that would happen, but he did it anyway. And guess what? It also stole, it stole the opportunity that he would have to have a strong relationship with a wife. He never had, look what he says here. He says, one man, he said, I've had a good friend. He's like, but guess what? It's one in a, a thousand. It's one in a thousand, but he never had a good marriage. Well, you're not going to have a good marriage if you have 700, if 699 other wives, you're not going to have a good marriage. I'm sorry. All right. But the point is, is that if we just look at the kind of the secondary lesson here of what he's saying in chapter seven, he's saying in verse number 28, he's saying even a loyal friend, which is such a powerful thing is one in a thousand. It's extremely rare. He says, you know what? I've had a loyal friend, but it's still, it's, it's rare. The rare, the rare friend is one that is loyal is what we can take from Solomon's lesson here. So all I'm trying to say is be one, be loyal friend, stand by your friends in good times, which is easy and bad times, which is not so easy. Many times turn to Proverbs chapter 27. You say, well, what if a friend, you know, what if a friend like goes into sin and what if a friend is, is, is struggling with, you know, his Christian walk, you know, what, what then turn to Proverbs chapter 27, turn to Proverbs chapter 27, Proverbs chapter 27 and look at verse, let me go there myself and look at verse number six, Proverbs 27. Look at verse number six. Look, look what the Bible says here. It says faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. You know what this is saying? You know, it's saying a friend, if two men are friends and one friend starts doing something that's not right, it's saying, if a friend wants to sharpen his friend in that case, he's saying, Hey, you need to, you need to get out of that sin. You need to get back into the principles of the Bible. You need to, you know, he needs to tell him what he needs, not what he wants to hear, what he needs to hear. And you know what the Bible is saying? The Bible is saying that that's faithful. That if a friend would, would try to grab his friend, that's going into sin and pull him back into the Christian life is that that is faithful. You know what? That's loyalty. That's a loyal friend. It's a loyal friend that tries to get somebody out of sin that tries to pull their friend back from sin saying, Hey, look, that's not right. It's not friendship to just have somebody that just goes into sin and just go with them into sin and just, you know, go follow them into that or pretend like it's not a problem. That's not faithful. That's not loyal. Right? So look, here's the two things so far. You need to choose your friends with the right criteria. You need to choose your friends by biblical principles, find friends that, that are saved, friends that believe the Bible and friends that are trying to actually live the Bible. Cause look, you could, you could have a lot of friends out there that are saved, that believe the Bible, but just, they're not going to do anything that's in it. You could have a lot and you know, you need to be separate from those friends. The Bible is saying just, just if we're living by the Bible, if we're saved, you know, that should define who our friends are. And the next one is stand by your friends. Stick by your friends. Turn to Proverbs chapter 18. What's the third one? Turn to Proverbs chapter 18, Proverbs chapter 18. Here's the interesting thing. The same way you get friends by being friendly, the Bible says, you know, is the same way. You know, if you look at Proverbs chapter 18 where we started the sermon, Proverbs 18, 24, the Bible says a man that hath friends must show himself friendly. So the same way you get friends is going to be the same way you keep friends. So in order to keep your friends, you must show yourself friendly. You must be friendly. You must take action in your life. I have a, I have one friend, I'll, I'll call him out by name here. I have a friend that I've been friends with for a long time. Ever since we moved to California, Brother Salvador from Verity Baptist Church. Many of you know Brother Salvador. We've been friends for a long time and Brother Salvador, he shows me up on this verse constantly. Brother Salvador, he sends me a message every single time my kids have a birthday, every single time it's my anniversary, every single time it's, I'm not saying I'm, I'm not trying to get you to all, you better do this. I'm just saying like this is what he does. He sends me a message. Every single child that has a birthday, my birthday, my anniversary. I mean, he's constantly happy, happy birthday pastor. He's constantly reaching out to me and he's, he's constantly showing me up as a friend where I'm just like, I need to be a better friend here. What's he doing? He's reaching out. He's keeping in touch. We live three hours away now. We live three hours away. He's, he's constantly reaching out and making sure, because friendships, the unique thing about friendships is, you know, think of the second law of thermodynamics. If you don't add energy, it's going to die. Friendships, both sides have to add energy constantly. Both sides of a friendship have to be adding energy. So Brother Salvador is just constantly adding energy to the friendship. And then I'm constantly, you know, talking to him and you know, like I said, he's better at it than me. He's better at it than me. He's constantly reminding me about what it means to be a friend. And I'm, look, I'm very, he's sharpening me. He's sharpening me. I'm very thankful to him for that. Look, you need to be taking action towards your friends. You can't just be like, oh, these people, they contact me every, every once in a while. They're my friends. Well, they're probably just, in the case where people are just constantly reaching out to you, people that come into a church and people are just being nice to you constantly, but you do nothing in return. You're not doing anything towards that friend. Look, that's just someone being nice to you. That's just someone that's just giving to you. That's not, that's not what the Bible would call a friendship because a friendship needs to have energy added on both sides and that will be a strong friendship. Actually, look, actually showing that you care by doing things, by taking action. It takes effort. It takes effort to maintain a friendship, especially, especially friendships where people don't live in the same town. We have a lot of friendships like that where people don't live in the same town as us, but you know, you need to be reaching out, keeping a communication. How are you doing? I mean, just all these different things. Visiting people. I mean, these are what, you know, keeps friendships alive. Friendships. The third point is that friendships require regular maintenance, you know, just, just like anything, you know, you don't maintain your car, you just use it. I mean, how many people have you know? I know people like this. You ever met somebody that they buy a car and they just drive it until it breaks and then they throw it away and they get a new car. Look, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a cheap way to live. They just drive it till it breaks. They don't change the oil. They don't do anything. They don't put tires on it. They don't put brakes on it. They just literally drive it until it stops running. You ever met somebody like that? And then they go and they, they're like, I need a new car and they go get another car and they do the same thing. What people, some people operate in a, in a friendship that way. You're not going to have longterm friends if you operate that way. You have to maintain, you have to maintain, you have to talk, talk to your friends. How are you going to know if your friend is in a good time or in a bad time if you never talk to them, if you never reach out to them, you know, if you never ask them, Hey, how are you doing? Do you get in conversations? You know, this is the person gets in conversations. They just talk about themselves constantly. When you get in conversations with your friends, how are you doing? What are your concerns? Tell me about what's going on in your life. And they're just like, I just, I'm having problems and I need, I need help with this thing at my house. And you're just like, be that warmed, brother. You do nothing. But look, if you talk to your friends, you'll know when they're going through hard times. You'll know when they're going through bad times. You can actually help them. You can be a prophet to them as James chapter two says, and guess what? That will make your friendship stronger. That will solidify your friendship. Turn to first Samuel chapter 19, first Samuel chapter 19. Look at what Jonathan did. Look at what Jonathan did. Saul hated David. Saul was trying to kill David and Jonathan, just think about it from a worldly monarchy. Perspective. Jonathan, his dad was the king. You know what that means? From a worldly perspective. Now we know what the Bible says. We know in first Samuel 15 that Saul's already lost the kingdom that he's no longer the king, but he thinks he is. He's just like, I'm doing it my way. I'm doing it the world. I'm still the king and my son's going to be the king. And, but look at what Jonathan is doing despite himself. Look at verse number four of first Samuel chapter 19. It says, and Jonathan spake good of David unto Saul, his father, and said unto him, but not the kin king sin against his servant against David because he had not sinned against thee because his works have been to the word very good. You know what he's doing? He's kind of wounding his father here. He's kind of, you know, lightly, you know, wounding his father. He's giving some faithful words to his father saying, dad, what you're doing isn't right. What you're doing is, is sin. David has done nothing wrong and he's doing it at his own detriment. Look at first Samuel chapter 20 in verse number 30. Saul knew this. Saul knew that Jonathan loved David and David loved Jonathan and they were just great friends. Look at verse 30 of first Samuel chapter 20. The Bible says then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan and he, and he said unto him, thou son of a perverse and rebellious woman. So clearly Saul didn't have a good relationship with Jonathan's mom. Do I not know that thou has chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion in order to the confusion of thy mother's nakedness? Here, let me just translate verse 30 for you. He's like, you're just like your mother. It's what he says to Jonathan. He says, you know, you're just like your mother. He's like, you've chosen David over your own self, but that's what you're supposed to do as a friend. You're supposed to choose your friends over yourself. A friendship should and will require sacrifice. But you know, a lot of people, a lot of people, they're just like, they don't want to sacrifice anything. They don't want to sacrifice anything for anybody. He's like, this is the fair weather friend. Look at verse number 31. For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shall not be established nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me for he shall surely die. Basically, Saul is saying, don't you know that as long as David's alive, you're never going to be the king. I mean, he's like, what are you an idiot? But Jonathan didn't care about himself. He cared about what? He cared about the principles that his friendship was based on. And as long as the principles that his friendship with David based on were true, he was going to be loyal to his friend. This is a huge lesson for us in friendship. Just be loyal and look, maintain those friendships and maintaining a friendship could cost you. It could cost you. It could mean that there's sacrifice involved. Just like Jonathan didn't care. His dad threw a javelin at him. His dad literally tried to kill him because he wouldn't abandon his friend, David. So that's some serious maintenance right there. And I can't, I can't imagine two people being closer friends than these two men after what they went through together. Turn to John chapter 15. So what do we see to maintain long lasting friendships, lifelong friendships in Christian life. You need to choose your friends properly. According to the Bible, you need to be loyal to those friends and then you need to maintain those friendships. And that means putting, just like Jonathan, that means putting their interests before your interests. You know what a great friendship is? A great friendship is two men or two people, two ladies, whatever that they're constantly trying to outdo each other. One friend helps one with his house and the other friend helps the other with his, with his car or whatever. And they're constantly like, they're constantly thinking, I need to help him. I need to help him because like he's helped me. I need to help him back. That's two friends that are going to be good friends is two friends that are constantly trying to be a blessing to each other. And they're trying to, they're trying to out bless each other. That's a good friendship right there. That's a good friendship. Look at John chapter 15 and look at verse, look back at verse number 13. Jesus says, greater love had no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Now, if you can't choose, keep your place there. If you can't choose the right friends and you can't be loyal to those friends and you can't sustain friendships with people, then guess what? Look at the next verse. Henceforth have I call, I call you not servants for the servant knoweth not what his Lord doeth, but I have called you what? I've called you friends for all things that I've heard of my father. I have made known unto you. Notice what he says in verse 14, he says, you're my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you. So Jesus is saying that if you follow my commandments in life, you're my friends. Now, is every saved person a friend of Jesus according to this definition? No. Does that mean they're not saved? No, but this is Jesus's definition of what a friend to him is. He says, you're my friends if you do what I tell you. If you follow what the Bible says, you're my friends. That means that there's a lot of saved people out there that aren't friends of Jesus. So you see how important, you see how important your Christian life is with being able to sustain friendships? Jesus literally calls living the victorious Christian life, living for him. He literally calls that a friendship. That's why good friendships and lifelong friendships, they come along with the Christian life. Lifelong friendships, it's a bonus. It's a bonus to the Christian life. Just like those missionaries, they live for Christ together. They died for Christ together, but they were all friends of Christ. Many people will never have long friendships. It's a shame because this is the friend of the month, friend of the year, whatever you want to call it. It's a shame because if you're this kind of person that's just going to find something wrong with every single person that you ever come across, the Bible says you're never going to have long friendships. The Bible says that your Christian life is a long friendship. It's the same thing. If you have the same problems with friends on this earth, you'll have the same problems with Jesus. That's what Jesus is saying because following what he says and following his commandments, he defines as a friendship. Look, it's a shame that people could be saved, people could believe the Bible, and then not have long friendships. It's a shame, but you know what? It's their fault because they're not following what the Bible says. All people have to do is get in church, stay in church, follow the program of that church, and you will have long friendships. It's really that simple. It might not be easy at times, but it is that simple. It's a huge blessing. I think of my friends and I can't even begin to tell you how much of a blessing my friends are to me. It's a huge blessing. If you're leaving it on the table and you're not listening to what the Bible says and you don't have long friendships, you're leaving behind a huge blessing of this Christian life. Base your friendships on principle. Look, even personality. I have friends that have completely different personalities than me. You know what? Twenty years ago, before I was saved, I probably wouldn't have been friends with people that had such differing personalities for me. Now, I literally don't care. One friend maybe likes Trump, maybe one friend doesn't like Trump. I could care less about that. I could care less about that. Then be loyal to those friends and maintain your friendships. Look, work on your friendships. Think about who your friends are today and this week. When's the last time you looked and you reached out to your friends and you said, hey, how are you doing? How is that thing that we talked about a month ago? How are you? Is there anything I can do for you? When's the last time you did that? This is the maintenance. Look, we get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget about everything except the way the world looks from our perspective. That's wrong. We should be wrapped up in the lives of other people. I'm not talking about nosing into people's business. I'm talking about just caring about the business of other people, putting people's priorities in front of ours. You know what? Many times you get wrapped up in your own self and you get wrapped up in things and you're down on things. It's because you're too wrapped up in yourself. Go wrap up yourself helping somebody else. Go do some maintenance work on your friendships and build those friendships and help people out. You know what? You'll feel a lot better about everything. That's how you can have long-lasting friendships, folks. It's not complicated, but it does take effort and it does take biblical knowledge and biblical principle. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.