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Hey, man, so keep your place there in 1st Peter chapter 5. We'll get there in just a minute. So just a disclaimer this morning I'm probably gonna offend most of you this morning just to give you a little bit of a heads up there Because of the the title of the sermon that that's right You should say amen because the Bible is there to smack you in the face All right, so we're gonna hit everybody a little bit this morning Even myself, I'll give a couple of examples, but we're going to talk about something you say Why would I say that right away because what we're going to talk about this morning is a major problem in our society It's something that you know our the culture of the world the culture of the United States Especially is really moving in this direction and I want to show you hopefully I can convince you To to to shun that to to buck that status quo that you're seeing out in the world there today But what I want to talk about today is being casual and the dangers of being too casual Especially, you know in our Christian lives in our relationships with people with our families But this is where society is moving today is just this casual Everything today, you know and I want to talk about the dangers of being too casual this morning So, you know, what does casual mean? What do I mean by being casual what I you know, I'm not talking about You know just you know having a casual conversation Well, I mean we'll talk a little bit about conversations but the definition of casual that I really want to hit on this morning is right out of the dictionary where it says the definition of casual is relaxed and unconcerned relaxed and unconcerned so I want to talk about the dangers of being relaxed and Unconcerned in your life this morning look down at 1st Peter chapter 5 and look at verse Number 8 the first application of this is the casual Christian, you know Just the casual Christian the Christian that is taking his Christianity his obligations as a Christian as a follower of Christ You know in a relaxing and unconcerned way Look at 1st Peter chapter 5 in verse number 8 the Bible says this it says be sober and vigilant You see those two words there. Why because your adversary the devil, you know as a roaring lion Walketh about seeking whom he may devour so we see these two words sober and vigilant, you know, it's pretty much the opposite of relaxed and Unconcerned so the relaxed and unconcerned Christian the Bible here is telling is not going to do well Because what is it going to take to resist the devil? Look the devil Satan is real Demons are real these things are real You know, I often thought I was I was driving down that we knocked on a door yesterday that had like like What is it palm reader or something above the door and all this and and I've often thought, you know Obviously would never do this but you know walking into one of those places Would that person know that I'm a Christian would that person recognize that you know, I you know I'm a I'm a believer and a saved believer of the Lord Jesus Christ Would they recognize that and I was asking a brother Jeff this as we went soloing I was like I've often thought that you know, I'm never gonna go to a poem reader. Obviously. I'm never gonna go to a witch But you know, would they recognize it and that why do why do I think that way? Because that would tell me if it was a scam or not because look those things are real folks Demons are real Satan is real. It's a real thing and Satan wants to attack you as a Christian He can't take away your salvation. Satan can't take a saved believer and make them go to hell It's impossible you are sealed by the Holy Spirit Satan is not strong enough to get you into hell That's what he wants for the rest of the world, but Satan can derail you from your Christian life He can stop you from being profitable. He can stop you from having a spiritual life He can get you filled with sin filled with vengeance filled with all these things that will just kill your spiritual life They're not kill your salvation, but they will make it to where you are unprofitable to anybody So should you be relaxed and concerned and unconcerned about this thing, which is your Christian life? I don't think so. The Bible says be sober That means have your wits about you Be vigilant that means never let your guard down never be Unconcerned look it is the Christian today that is out there Living his or her life for the Lord that is being profitable to others that is passing people with God's Word With the gospel that is passing people from death to life that has a target on their back That is who Satan wants to attack the most so we need to be sober be Vigilant in our Christian life turn to 1st Corinthians chapter 14 it's literally the opposite of being casual. It's literally the opposite of being relaxed And unconcerned look at 1st Corinthians chapter 14. Let's talk about our church life How about should I be casual and relaxed and unconcerned about my church life? Look at 1st Corinthians chapter 14 or look at the front of your bulletin. It's the verse of the week The Bible says this says in 1st Corinthians 14 verse number 40 It says let all things be done decently and in order now Paul's talking to the church at Corinth here You know that's talking about things in a church need to be look I I had better not be relaxed and unconcerned about what happens in this church. I Just better not look. That's the problem with Christianity today. That's the problem with Christian churches today Well, you could have a Christian Church today That's a real Christian Church that that that preaches the gospel that that you know They go out and they they go soul-winning and they do all the things they're supposed to do and they become relaxed and unconcerned And they're gonna have major problems in that church because what the devil's trying to attack that church to Things need to be done decently and in order this is this is a problem Christianity today You got all these liberal churches. There's anything and everything goes That's not the way this church is gonna run here because look I'm responsible for there I don't you know, I'm not I'm not following you home I'm not going to your house and telling you what to do in your house I'll sit here and I'll scream the word of God to you And if you don't do those things in your home, you know, you'll deal with the consequences of those things But when it comes to who's going to be responsible to the Lord Jesus Christ about what happened in this building that falls on me And things must be done decently and in order what kind of order this order That's it. So there may be things that's why we turn to all these verses all the time There may be things where you're just like, oh man, that's different than any other church Like somebody got kicked out of church that's different than any other church. I've been to that's just following the Bible Nobody likes doing those things nobody likes confronting someone about Fornication or drunkenness or anything like this? but the Bible says those things are not to be in the church period and I mean, I didn't write the book God did and Things must be done decently and in order no matter what that's why for men's we have a men's preaching night coming up With a men's preaching night coming up and there's rules There's rules for the men's preaching night Look, it's not an issue here because all the men here that preach know the rules and they know I mean I require that the men that come up here and preach wear a shirt and tie That's not a requirement to come to church here But I require that the men that come up here wear a shirt and tie I wear a shirt and tie and a suit every single time I preach why that's because I'm great and I think I'm better Than all of you. No, it's because the Word of God is great and I'm showing respect for the Word of God I'm not great. You are not great. But this word is great and we should show respect and reverence towards that So there I mean there's rules there's doctrines that they must abide by They must abide by the clear doctrines in the King James Bible, you know, you know, what's funny Just think about this for a minute of All the preachers that have come here to preach of all the times that other preachers have come to our friends Verity Baptist Church All the men that have gotten up to preach at men's preaching nights at Verity at men's preaching nights here Nobody is telling these men like I am NOT sitting down with these men and telling them what to preach Isn't it strange that nobody gets up here and does and preaches some weird crazy doctrine No, it's because they have the Holy Spirit inside them. They have the Holy Spirit inside them They are saved and they read the Bible They study the Bible now Look if somebody was saved and didn't have any idea what the Bible said and just decided to just come up with something to preach It could possibly happen, but it doesn't happen because these are men that read the Bible. They study the Bible and The doctrines of the Bible are clear The doctrines of the Bible are not they're not complicated They're not complicated to understand So they just stick to the doctrines of the King James Bible and that's why you see Every single time a preacher comes here to preach. I have no idea what they're gonna preach We don't talk about it. And it's just doctrines right out of the Bible and there's never an issue Because somebody that is saved that has the Holy Spirit in them that reads the Bible look the doctrines I God does not make it complicated That's why you see people like well that's your interpretation and you know But then they believe some weird false doctrine that can just be clearly proven from the Bible like not of works You know Isn't that the false doctrine that's out there? It's just like works based Salvation so you get up these people and they just preach all this workspace. Well, that's that's your interpretation Yeah, I interpret not of works to mean not of works It's it's bizarre It's bizarre, but it's out of respect for the Word of God. It's it's a formal respect for the Bible That's what we're talking about I don't sit here and and Somebody that got up here that was just flippant with the Bible that was just relaxed and unconcerned And read any of the Bible think about this for a second could this person get them in themselves in trouble They haven't read any of the Bible. They opened up a page They read one verse and they preached an entire sermon even though they read nothing of the rest of the Bible Look that person's gonna get themselves in trouble Because they're relaxed and unconcerned about the Word of God But it's not gonna happen because the men that come up here preaching they take it seriously They read the Bible they study the Bible. How about this? Look at Ephesians chapter 5 look at verse number 1 How about this? Here's another one that we shouldn't be Relaxed and unconcerned about the words that come out of our mouth How about that the words that come out of our mouth look at Ephesians chapter 5 in verse number 1 Ephesians chapter 5 look at verse number 1 the Bible says be therefore followers of God as dear children and walk in love as Christ also hath loved us and have given himself for us an offering and a Sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor, but fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness Let it not be once named among you as becometh saints. He's talking to believers here All right, he's talking to people who are saved. Look what he says here. He says neither filthiness nor foolish talking Nor jesting which are not convenient but rather giving of thanks He's talking about like what saved people what should come out of save people's mouth That's what he's talking about now look Again, I don't really care how you speak in your house at home or at work I mean look I do care, but I don't have any control over that, you know And here's another thing if you do speak different at church then you do at home or then you do at work I think you're leaving a major Benefit to the Christians witness on the table because there is nothing in my opinion that can more quickly Distinguish who you are to the world then the things that you say the way you speak and the things that you don't say Especially when you're out at a job out at work wherever look I've been in construction sites for 25 years There's nothing I haven't heard It's not a pastor doesn't like party words, there's nothing I haven't word I don't like them but there's nothing I haven't heard But the point is those things in the house of God. We should not be casual with our speech Don't get casual with your speech here is this you know, look yeah, there's a lot of words in the Bible But you can't just use those words in any context and have them be fine I mean just taking God's name in vain is A perfect one that's one where like we can be out on a construction site and somebody like uses Jesus Christ's name as a swear word and I will say something I will speak up in those cases because that deeply offends me so you can't just take any Bible word folks and just Spew it in any sentence you want and think that that's appropriate. It's not in the church a Good rule. Here's my philosophy with with language And and and this is my philosophy. I've raised my kids all that When the men of the church sit in a circle stand around talking about things a Five-year-old should be able to walk into that conversation and be edified by that conversation If you don't want your five-year-old saying something Then don't speak that way because if you speak a certain way even in your house if you speak a certain way That's how your kids are gonna talk So look that kind of governs My speech that should govern look. That's my standard here that should govern the way There should be look because guess what the man in the church will be sitting down We'll be talking and guess what kids will plop down and just listen and that's good That's a good thing for the kids to sit down and you know, what's a man talk about? And I've told my kids when they're young. Hey, you want to come and sit with the men? That's fine That's great, but you should be quiet and listen But they should be edified by what they hear So that should be our rule if you we've got a lot of little kids in this church That should be our rule if we don't want a five-year-old or a six-year-old saying it or say it a different way then You know, just remember that we shouldn't be casual With our speech because these kids will repeat these things they will begin to talk how we talk. It's important Go to Ephesians chapter 5 you're there still stay in Ephesians chapter 5 How about this the world is teaching today that we should have casual relationships that relationships should be casual everything about Relationships is casual. What does the Bible say? look at verse number 22 of Ephesians chapter 5 Talking about marriage look marriage is the formal relationship that God defines in the Bible It's very formal it's very detailed look at how detailed it is look at verse number 22 it says wives Submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord For the husband is the head of the wife Even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body Therefore as the church is subject to Christ. So let the wives be to their own husbands in things they agree with No in everything boy people really hate this today Nothing fires people up like like this that that wives should be in Subjection to their husbands just as this church is in subjection to Christ It is the most serious Subjection meaning he's in charge of the marriage He's in charge of the family look at verse number 25 now. We go into the husband's look That's a very formal declaration of the structure of the family and the responsibility of the wife It's very formal. It is not relaxed and unconcerned Look at verse 25 husbands love your wives Even as Christ also loved the church. That's pretty specific and pretty formal right there saying husbands Love your wives how like I love my wife. I love my wife. I gave her flowers No as how did Christ love the church Christ didn't come to earth and be like I love you guys And just say just like have this feeling of butterflies in his stomach that hey, I love you No, he came and he gave his life He gave everything for it This is the kind of law that that's a tall order for a husband that's a very formal command and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of Water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing But it should be holy and without blemish if you take verse 26 and verse 27 that Directly commands the husband. He's not only verse 25. He's not only supposed to be Sacrificial to his family meaning if there's nothing to eat if there's not enough to eat you don't eat Meaning that you take the worst and you you're a sacrificial leader You're a servant leader, but in verse 26 and verse 27 He's talking about you are the spiritual leader of your family It is your job to spiritually edify your family if your children grow up And they do not know who Jesus Christ is it's your fault That's formal. That's very concerned and That is not relaxed Talking about literally the Spiritual well-being is there any more serious well-being that there could be not about heaven and hell You're saved you're saved, but just you just go and have a bunch of kids. They're not automatically saved because you are How are people not concerned about this Because they're too casual that's why Because they're not concerned And we got to go out and we got to beg people to be concerned about their salvation today We got to try to be convincing and persuasive to get one individual To be concerned about their eternal destination And then it just relaxed and flippant About the eternal destination or the even the spiritual growth folks Of their own families Do you know do you know let me just ruin your your day as a parent today? Do you know that you could have some kids and look we got some really great kids in this church And I love every single one of these kids in this church You know what by the time these kids they stand up here and they listen to the Bible and they listen to pastor just yell and scream the Bible to them and They're gonna get saved when they're six seven eight years old Pretty soon, they're gonna start asking their parents Hey, am I going to heaven and we're gonna get a chance to preach the gospel to them and a child that's been in church Even as a young child is gonna understand the gospel at a very young age Because they know who Jesus is and they've heard the Bible preached and they've been out soul-winning with their parents And they've heard the gospel. They're gonna start asking questions like what about me? What about me and then when you explain and you preach the gospel to them directly They're just they're gonna believe it and they're gonna get saved at a very young age It's it's a it's a beautiful thing It's one of the the greatest reasons that God designed the church to be a family integrated church We're not family integrated because I do somebody made this up Because like pastor Jimenez or pastor Anderson made it up. No, it's in the Bible And they're reading the Bible is very clear in the Old Testament to say that the children and the women were there as well This is why They'll get saved at young but back to my point there's no guarantee that the devil's not going to devour them in this life Just because you got them saved it's not like you get them saved when they're seven years like Done. Yes Because I know plenty of safe people that have fallen into horrible horrible sin that have destroyed their lives You'll meet drug addicts folks who are saved You'll make people you made people who have made mistakes in their lives the type of mistakes that they cannot undo That are saved There's no guarantee that just because our children get saved that suddenly everything's fine and If you do not prepare them to be vigilant and sober by being that spiritual leader You notice all how much time I spend on the women here How much time I spending on the men why? Because it's their fault when it all comes apart because they're in charge when the ship stinks. It's the captain's fault So it is important that God declares this formal declaration in the most Extreme language the most extreme comparison that he possibly can with the example of Christ and the church There's nothing casual. There's nothing unconcerning. There's nothing relaxed about this It's very formal So look it's a formal thing your marriage it's a formal thing the responsibilities of a Husband and a wife now look let me say this again about the formal responsibilities of the husband and the wife And this is one that people just miss people understand. Let me fix 75% of the marriages in America right now at least the ones that believe the Bible these Responsibilities of the husband and the wife are independent of each other Notice who's speaking. This is the Word of God. This is Jesus Christ here This is the Holy Spirit telling us these things it does not say that a wife has to be submissive to her husband She has to reverence her husband She has to you know follow her husband be submissive in everything as unto the Lord by the way that's another sermon in itself a Husband can't tell his wife to go do something ungodly because God's ultimately in charge But the point being is that these responsibilities your responsibility as a wife is independent of whether or not he is fulfilling his role as a husband and your responsibility of a husband of being that sacrificial spiritual leader is independent of Whether or not she is being a submissive wife Because what people will do is this well I'm not a submissive wife because he's you know he's you know not doing his job, and then it's just this It's this endless. It's like the Middle East war right like it's it's this endless thing That can't be solved Because like who fired the first shot well I mean that we can't figure that one out, but the point is is that if you run your marriage that way It's it's not gonna go well Because your responsibility, so you're like well. He doesn't provide for me, and he's not making good decision It doesn't matter you still I mean you know this is why young women need to choose who they marry It's the most important decision of their life Some people are bad leaders You should know that before you get into that marriage that is forever But the point is these rules are independent of one another It's like well my wife. She's not submissive to me. It doesn't matter be that sacrificial be that spiritual leader be that Sacrificial leader that you are supposed to be do your job because you're subservient to God It is God that is telling you to do this not your wife It is God that is telling you to be a submissive wife not your husband These are commands from God we fulfill them independently We'd have a lot less trouble in marriages if people looked at things that way I Mean there's plenty of there's plenty of casual men out there. It's called laziness I Mean, but it just doesn't mean that you don't have to maintain that reverence It may mean it's harder for you to maintain that reverence, but these commands come from God not from your spouse All right now look turn to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 I Kind of went off there, but the point is is that marriage is a very formal relationship that God has defined marriage is Formal it is not relaxed and unconcerned about anything. It's very formal God laid it out Genesis to you know to become one flesh. It's very There's an anti-marriage crowd out there today folks. They're trying to just take away this formality, and I'm not talking about Sodomites and in perversion I'm talking about just people that say that you shouldn't get married It's a it's a push today. It's a cultural push today look at 1st Corinthians chapter 7 in verse number 2 You know what that's called. That's called fornication. I Don't care how long oh, we've been together for 20 years and everything's fine. You know what that's fornication That's what it is and the Bible says in 1st Corinthians 7 to nevertheless to avoid fornication Let every man have his own wife But every woman have her own husband if you're just like well We're gonna just gonna be together, and I'll be married if that's fornication You should be married in 1st Corinthians 6 just one chapter before it says flee fornication We should have nothing to do with it. It's this casual idea of relationships no Especially you know you want to you know young man wants to have a physical relationship with a young lady, then that's called marriage That's what God wants to happen there It is formal. There is a formal way to do things right even this idea of dating of Dating today. I mean first of all dating to the world is divorce training That's what it is It's it's literally divorce training. I mean modern dating I'm not talking about dating as it pertains to us We'll get there in a minute, but modern dating as it is just first of all it's fornication It's just fornicate and repeat. That's what it is It's it's disgusting and you know what it's ruining people's chances at a godly marriage Because if you go out and you just fornicate and repeat and fornicate and repeat Then you think you're just gonna go and just get married to some godly woman or some godly man either it works either way I Mean some godly person is gonna be like oh You've been living the last ten years or five years of your life by just fornicating and living with all these people and all That and they're gonna be like I mean look Ferraris don't marry Volkswagens Every marriage is a business transaction Even worldly marriages are business transactions think about it They're business transactions even some old ugly guy they go marry some you know young lady or whatever what happens well He's got a bunch of money They're just those are surface level sinful transactions. She's like well. He's got all this money He's like well. You know she's 20 or 30 years younger than me deal That I mean that's a worldly transaction, but even spiritual Marriages their transactions look you're supposed to be equally yoked the Bible says but the point is is that Modern dating is divorce training. It's just fornication That's all it is it is just getting people used to just breaking up and breaking up and breaking up And oh, I love him and now I don't love him. I love him and love this action folks All the butterflies went away and all this and it's crazy It's like training people to get divorced, and then they actually do get married Like oh well the butterflies went away, and I've done this 12 times before. What's the big deal? It's just a piece of paper And they don't have any respect for the the institution of marriage in the first place But back to the point let's just go back to let's talk about actual biblical dating Should that be formal or should that be casual? Turn to 2nd Corinthians chapter 6 You should never be dating someone now that we know what we want We know about what God wants for a relationship between a man and a woman He wants them to be married if they want to have a physical relationship have a life together You know all these different things you should never be dating someone that you don't intend to marry Wow that's extreme well get your head out of the media Get your head out of the movies get your head off a TV because this is what the Bible teaches a Relationship between a man and a woman is to end in marriage if they want to have a physical Relationship and be together, and they're to be together forever all right look So if you're dating someone that you know you would never marry you should not be dating them in This Christian life biblically you say well. How do you know well? There's several disqualifying factors Right up front, and you're just like well does it matter how good-looking they are no it doesn't This is the problem with many people first of all if they're not saved. They should you should not be dating them Period I'm not saying you can't get somebody saved and then Start dating them with the intent of marrying them I mean there's plenty of stories that we know where people have very happy marriages where one they met and one of them wasn't saved and They got the other saved and and then they began dating that is completely appropriate But here's another one if you're in second Corinthians chapter 6 look at verse number 14 the Bible says be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness, so yeah, you shouldn't date somebody That's not saved, but you also shouldn't date somebody that is just not spiritually minded at all You're you know. I'm a soul winner. I come to church three times a week I want to serve the Lord with my life, and then you meet somebody and they're saved But you know she just doesn't like coming to church Or he just doesn't really go to church and doesn't really want to you know continue going to church Well, there's plenty of people like that that are saved What you should not be dating that person? Unless they want to change you know how spiritually minded they are and move in that direction that is not somebody that You should be dating first Timothy 5 8 says this, but if any provide not for his own For those of his own household over its house. He has denied the faith. He is worse than Inveil You shouldn't be dating someone ladies that can't support you You're like why we're just dating but The point is marriage You shouldn't be dating somebody that can't support you or has no plan to be able to support a family Turn to Matthew chapter 5 There's all these disqualifying factors, and you'll notice I haven't talked about how good-looking the person is yet Look at Matthew chapter 5 verse number 32. Here's another one You shouldn't be dating somebody as a Christian who's divorced Oh That sounds mean, but that's just the Bible I'm trying to beat up on somebody that's divorced But we're not going to have somebody that is divorced come into this church and wanting to date single people in the church It's never going to happen. What will happen. I will throw myself Into the situation that's what will happen and it's never happened here, but it's happened places before It's happened the Bible says well you say why are you so mean to divorce people? I'm not mean I'm just following what the Bible says do I have to go back to that We have to run things decently in an order here look at Matthew 5 verse 32 Jesus says what I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife saving for the cause of fornication Causeth her to commit adultery and whosoever shall marry her that is divorce committh adultery So the Bible here is saying is that if you get divorced what God hates divorce the Bible says if you get divorced That you should remain single. That's what the Bible is saying and that's you say well That's mean to divorce people, but you know what if people would actually follow this You know a lot fewer people would get divorced because what happens is you get people that are in marriages You get people that are in marriages, and they're like you know what I really think my life could be better If I was married to that guy Or if I was married to that girl you're like that sounds extreme that happens all the time That's why people get divorced many times is that some wife leaves her husband for some other guy or some husband leaves his wife For some other woman, but if people were actually following the Bible Maybe you know they're in some bad situation And they're like well You know my choice is either stay married here or be single for the rest of my life I bet you a lot of people would stay and work that marriage out I've talked to so many people just by the way And all of this preaching is for people that have not been married yet and for people that are married and maybe are thinking about divorce That's what this preaching is for it is not to punch people in the face that have been divorced So if you're a divorced person And you're listening to this online or you're listening to sermons like this and it offends you you see For yourself because there's more people that you know there's another generation coming up that needs to hear the truth That's the problem So if the choice is I can work this marriage out or be single for the rest of my life You know what I bet you there's a lot more people that stay married The vast majority of people that I know personally that have been divorced You've talked to them 20 years later And I don't care if they've been married two more times three more times whatever it is And I won't get into those stats, but the vast majority of people I know personally that they've been divorced They wish they would have stayed and worked out that first marriage the vast majority Of people that I know that aren't just total Fools and wicked people they wish they would have stayed and worked it out Marriage is very formal dating should be very formal dating should have one purpose and Baptist dating you know we can talk about that after service you want to ask me what that is I'm not even really sure what that is It's basically exclusively talking to people When you're exclusively talking to another you know person of that that's that's kind of Baptist dating But look you should not be exclusively talking to somebody in the church in another church unless they are marriage material It's very simple because marriage is the formal goal young people not having fun and Hanging out or or whatever and you know what I mean. This is the decision in your life right here This is the decision and if you're a young person Here's another thing that I would add here not to just derail the entire sermon But another thing I would add if you're a young person. I would just I would memorize Ephesians chapter 5 I would memorize those responsibilities because the more a young lady and a young man understand those Responsibilities the better choices they will make in Who they marry and you know what folks it is all about That choice because it's forever This is why this is why that that God gives the father as a help to the young lady Because he knows God what God cares about these young ladies He knows that who she will choose as her leader is the most important decision She will make in her entire life and God puts that dad there And he's like you know what I need some protection for this young lady I need some protection so she doesn't go and find some guy. That's really good-looking and goes and marry him has a miserable life So he gives he gives the ladies the young ladies that extra protection turn to Proverbs chapter 18 Marriage is the formal declaration I'm sick and tired of hearing all these media figures and all this pretending like oh just having a relationship That you're you're in and you're just not with anybody else is marriage it is not it is fornication It is being a whoremonger, and it is being a whore the Bible says That's what it means. It's it's it's the difference between right and wrong It's very clear. How about this one friendships? Friendships you shouldn't have just casual friendships look at Proverbs chapter 18 one of us just such a great proverb in the Bible now look Everybody wants friends Everybody wants friends everybody Did you know though that you know you know how I like all-time highs and all-time lows you know? There's all-time low of people in the United States today that have friends It's at an all-time low I mean all-time lows people that know the Bible people that have no friends all you know is an all-time high I love these trends only because I wonder if they're connected Here's a let me give you some stats here From a big think.com, and I don't know these websites are really care, but I mean 12% of people It's it's all-time lows these are all-time low or high numbers however you want to look at it 12% of people have zero friends 25% of people have no one they can talk to From the New York Post it says 49% of people this is half of people in the United States have Fewer than three people meaning one or two people that they would consider close friends And here's what's worse Friendship according to all these studies friendship declines like your ability to have friends declines after the age of 25 And one of the main reasons for that is people you know have families and get married and all these different things so Think I'm a 25 year old, and I have no friends well What's happening is I mean here's here's just the mechanics of it What's happening is more and more people in society are getting married and having families and have less and less time to hang out With me this this 25 year old guy that is just single and just has no friends Which you know there's probably reasons? I don't have friends we'll get to that in a minute, but the point is is that it is The ability to have friends declines after 25 years now you combine that With the fact that we have never had that the age of average marriage in the United States has never been higher so you combine the fact that there's more and more of these single people and People are getting married later and later in life and people have friends less and less and less And you start to see why we have a generally unhappy section of society Especially the you know Gen Z and Gen X now look at Proverbs chapter 18, but the Bible see it solves this for us Proverbs chapter 18 look at verse number 24 Proverbs chapter 18 look at verse number 24 the Bible says a man that hath friends Must so first of all the Bible isn't calling out a guy that has a bunch of friends It's saying if you want to have friends. This is what you need to do That's what the Bible is saying a man that hath friends must show himself Friendly, and there's a friend that stick it closer than a brother But I really focus on the first part of that because the Bible you're saying that if you want to have friends You must show yourself to be friendly you say what what in the world does that mean so you're like well I'm socially awkward, or I'm an introvert or whatever well the Bible here is saying like if you can't change that about yourself You're gonna have any friends That's why you see socially awkward people Look I'm not beating up on people that are introverts or socially awkward or whatever But I know a lot of people like that by the way who are awesome soul winners and have a billion friends Why because they've overcome that because why because they show themself friendly they do things That Are friendly towards other people the Bible saying if you want to have friends you are in control of that I? mean The Bible here is saying fix that Fix that and you'll have friends see here's the thing everybody wants friends that are formal with them It's not true. It's not true that everybody wants. I mean this is what people call a good friend, right? Somebody that is I mean, what is the definition of casual? What do we it's it's somebody that is unconcerned and Relaxed how many people want friends that are just unconcerned with them and just completely relaxed and just don't even ever think about them Nobody wants that Everybody wants this group of friends That is really concerned about them That you know is is concerned about what's going on in their life that pays attention to them that gives them attention That cares about them on a regular Consistent basis see the problem is everybody wants that friend but very few people as those stats showed you are that friend and The Bible here is saying it's kind of counterintuitive when you think about it The Bible here is kind of saying that if you want that type of friend You need to be that type of friend, and then you will get that It will come back Upon you you can't be a casual friend and expect to have Real friends it reminds me. There's there was this there was a story of this guy That he was a he was like a Bitcoin billionaire. He liked and he stole all these bitcoins From this from this like dark website or whatever and when he was getting like arrested there was all these Articles and everything I think there was even a book written on him But like basically one thing that came out was this guy. He was his young kid He was like in his mid 20s or whatever and he just wanted people to like him He wanted people you you read the story of what happened to this guy stole all these bitcoins he was literally a billionaire and He just wanted I mean he was obviously living a bad life and all this kind of stuff But he wanted so badly to have friends and to have companions, and he couldn't get any Billions of dollars see money can't buy you these friends He just had people that took advantage of him that stole from him He wanted people to like him so much that he would carry around a briefcase With a million dollars in cash in it and one of the investigators asked him Why in the world would you have a briefcase with a with a million dollars in cash? And he said because I wanted to try to impress girls He wanted to try to get a girl to like him by carrying around this briefcase with a million dollars and the investigators Said to him did it ever work, and he said no So there you go you don't need tons of money to have a decent relationship Okay, but the point is is that you can't buy these friends you have to be friendly I mean he should have just read Proverbs 18 24 He's saved himself a bunch of money and probably many years in jail I think is what he's up to now But I mean the point is this you can't buy this the Bible is just telling us you have to be this and then You'll have it alright So I mean you should you should have you should you should call your friends I? Mean you should you should think about your friends You should I mean you should reach out to people You know this is literally. Let me give you an example now. I told you I offend everybody. Let me offend myself. Okay, so You know hospitality is one of the qualifications of the pastor Think about this for a second when I get a missed call from one of you and It has gone by for I try to keep my five to stupid phones and in for email addresses and all these different Things and I you know I always say that we're over communicating in our society today But that's another complaint on its own, but I if I pick up my phone and sometimes what I'll do is before church Before church I will hit do not disturb on my phone and then sometimes I will forget that I have do not disturb on for like two days and Then I will turn off do not disturb And it's like ding ding ding ding ding all these messages come in and I'm just horrified if it's somebody from the church I'm like ah because I mean what would that mean if you called your pastor? He just never called you back You would start to think like this guy doesn't care About me and obviously things happen you set things on your phone or whatever But the point is is that you need to show concern like I'm horrified by that because if somebody would call me And I would see the call I'd pick it up right away if I miss it. I call him back right away Because I'm concerned I really am concerned I really do want to reach out to people But you have to be sure that hospitality show that you're concerned, and then you will have friends It's very simple. You should call your friends. You should think about your friends you should You know I mean, but people see people will do this that won't show hospitality because they're afraid you know introverted people Socially challenged people whatever you want to say you know they will not want to reach out to people for fear of rejection They will not want to have somebody you know invite somebody to something or I've got a birthday party They won't want to do that because of fear of rejection you have to get rid of that You have to get rid of that why because the Bible says you have to show it You have to show it look God did it for us. I Mean God commandeth his love toward us and that When because we were really great and nice no God commanded his love towards and while we were yet sinners We're a bunch of jerks down here and God reached out to us In the most friendly way by sending his son to die for us He reached out to us. We need to treat our friends the same way if we want friends This is who we need to be you know you can change in your life You know if you're you know you know how many people I have seen that are super quiet people That are super introverted people and you go out soloing with them, and you hear them preach the gospel You're like what in the world who is this guy because they've overcome that Some of the best soul owners that I know are very quiet people But they are just very good at preaching the gospel. They've overcome that Look if we all just decide that we're gonna be who our tendencies Tell us we should be like we've got no chance at this thing because we've all got different problems folks so the Bible is saying initiate Initiate don't be a casual friend be a formal friend You know don't be that guy that sometimes you know responds never reaches out to their friends This is someone that will not have friends It's very simple because they aren't a friend, so what am I trying to get at here? I'll try to land the plane here being casual will get you know. We're good That's what I'm trying to say being casual and your relationships, especially That's why even at work the Bible says dress for that you know not the Bible But haven't you ever heard the saying you know dress for the job you want This is what people I can't tell you how many interviews I've been in over the last ten years are people like they they don't even like they wear their pajamas to the interview I'm just like you know what you're saying. You're saying before you say anything. You're saying. I don't care if I get this job I'm casual. I'm unconcerned about getting this job and see you know showing up on time to work You know you're saying you're saying I don't care about this But guess who does care the boss the guy that owns the place He cares Get formal in your life and your relationships and your marriage and your friendships pay attention Show you care like ultimately God does not want a casual relationship with us because if you're casual and everything you're gonna be casual in Your relationship with God as well Don't be relaxed and unconcerned because guess what folks is that what you want from God Is that what you want when you're praying to God For him to fix something in your life for him to deliver something for you in your life We're going to talk about that tonight when you're praying in those situations Let's say you're just this person that prays whenever you get in trouble. You're like you only dial 9-1-1 That's your your prayer life philosophy, but say you are dialing 9-1-1 Do you want God to be just relaxed and unconcerned with you? No, you want you want a formal God at that point Do you not do you not want somebody that's gonna show That he cares about you at that point. Of course you do. So if you don't show to other people you're a hypocrite God doesn't want an on-again off-again relationship with you He wants consistency and you know another thing the last thing about being casual is this being casual is the first step to inappropriateness Whether it comes from, you know, just applying it to relationships And and dating but it's the first step to literal. I mean to literal sin You start getting a little too casual with the way you speak You know what will happen if you go to a job and you know You are this person that wants to be look when you go into the world Especially men if you are casual and flippant about you will just conform to the way other people speak Did you know that and other people speak, you know? In a bad way I mean it is it is crazy like profanity is getting so bad Like I mean sometimes like I'll literally say to somebody like do you realize you just swore like seven times in two sentences? It makes you sound like a moron. First of all, it makes you sound like an idiot Like you just don't know how to find words. You can't use words. So you just like insert profanity But if you are not concerned and you are too relaxed as a Christian you will start to conform to that yourself so you need to be Careful and formal You want friends be formal as a friend Don't be lax in the role is a refam in your family You know be a formal husband be a formal wife Nobody no wife out there wants a husband who is leading her family who is relaxed and unconcerned about everything No wife wants that this is why feminism, you know messes up so many young ladies Because they tell these young ladies Then what they do is they and this is this is outside the Christian world. This is just a truth They tell these young ladies you need to be in charge of a man You need to compete with the man. You need to do all these things. So what do they do? They find a weak, man They find a weak man and then pretty soon they start having children You know what they want? They want to provide for their children that maternal instinct their conscience takes over and pretty soon They realize they married this puppy man that can't protect them Can't support them can't do anything and now they're another upset. Hey feminism gave that to you The Bible is telling you you find a strong man to marry You find a strong man who is equally yoked who's saved who's equally yoked with you that is going to lead you in strength through the Bible and Everything's gonna work out So it's these things we need to listen to up front in our Christian lives and God, you know God doesn't want us relaxed and Unconcerned in our Christian lives. We're to be sober And we're to be vigilant if we want to make it through this thing. Let's bow our heads and have a word