(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

Amen. So this morning, we're going to use the power of the family integrated church this morning. So I'm going to be preaching a sermon that is mainly geared towards the young people, from the teenagers to, you know, just young, single adults. But of course, this is for the parents and adults of and parents of small children, as well. Normally, you know, I have a whole list of sermons, I have a whole list of sermons that, you know, I've thought about when I was reading or studying the Bible, where I'm just like, no, you know, that's a sermon for a pastor to preach. And so I have a lot of sermons like that. And what do I mean by that? I mean that, you know, in with the Bible, when it comes to what the Bible says, certain pastors of different independent churches may put certain things into practice in a little different way than other pastors. And that's totally fine. That's why churches are independent. This is kind of one of those sermons. And the only reason that I would preach it now is because I think it's very relevant for our church. I think it's fair that you know where I stand on these things as far as someone going forward who would lead your independent church, hopefully, you know, in the in the next few months. And also, this is also a topic that Pastor Jimenez and I have talked extensively about. And I know exactly how he feels. And we both feel the same way on this topic. It's a topic that is of concern to him as a father and a church leader. And it's also a concern to me as a father and a church leader. So this morning, I want to focus first of all down on Proverbs 18, verse 22. But the title of the sermon this morning is two steps to a biblical marriage, two steps to a biblical marriage, I'm going to give you some practical advice this morning, if you're a young person that would like to be married someday, I want to give you some practical advice on how you should go forward with finding that person that you would end up being married to, as far as what the Bible says. Now, different pastors may have different ways of putting this into practice. But I'm sure that a pastor that is following the Bible has the same ideas and the same theories to get to the same end. So I want to give you what the Bible says about it and what that actually looks like in practice this morning. So pay attention, especially if you're someone who's single and would like to be married to someone who's not going to cause you a life of pain and suffering this morning. Okay, who wants a life of pain and suffering? Raise your hand. No hands. Okay. No, you don't. Okay. She's three, just for the camera. Okay. All right. Look at Proverbs 18, verse 22. The Bible says in Proverbs 18, 22, whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. So we want to make sure that we're doing things the way the Bible says. So when we do find a wife or wives do find a husband, that is a good thing. And it is of the Lord. It's the Lord's will. Okay. So first of all, you ask, you know, why do I care? Right? Why do I care as your church leader? Turn to 2 Timothy chapter three. You know, there's going to be a lot of things that are said this morning that especially if you, you know, were saved in the last few years and maybe churches is a newer thing to you. You know, some things that I say this morning might seem extreme to you. And you know, you say, why do I care? What gives me the right to be able to say that this is how things should go? Well, first of all, look at 2 Timothy chapter three and verse 16. The Bible says all scripture is given by inspiration of God, not inspiration of me, by the way, inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. Look, the Bible gives me specific instructions on this. Go over one chapter to 2 Timothy chapter four and verse number two, 2 Timothy chapter four and verse number two. The Bible says, preach the word, be instant in season out of season, reprove, rebuke, exhort with all wrong suffering and doctrine. Look, if it's in here, I am supposed to preach it. I'm supposed to instruct you in it. I'm supposed to rebuke you when you need to be rebuked. I'm supposed to exhort you. Exhort means to strongly encourage you. That's what exhort means. So this morning, that's the main one that I'm going to be doing. So you're saying, why are you saying all these things this morning? Because I'm going to tell you some things this morning and you can leave this church and you can do those things and you can not do those things. But I am strongly encouraging you to do these things this morning. That's what I'm doing. I'm exhorting you this morning. That's my job. That's why I'm doing it. That's what I'm supposed to do as the leader of this ministry, this local ministry here. So I mean, the Bible says I'm to exhort, rebuke, instruct. That's what I'm doing. All right, so young people listen up. I'm going to give you two steps to a happy marriage this morning. Because look, anybody can go out and just get married. Anybody can go out and, you know, go to Las Vegas or some justice of the peace somewhere and just, you know, get legally married. But I mean, you want a biblical marriage. So let's first talk about spiritual maturity this morning. This isn't, we're not into the two steps yet. I'm going to give you a precursor and I want to talk about spiritual maturity. In churches like ours, Verity Baptist Church in Sacramento and this church here, I can tell you from experience, from personally knowing, you know, young ladies, my wife talking to young ladies, that in general, girls are, they're wary about who they would marry. A girl who's in the Bible, a girl who is spiritually mature is very wary about who she would choose to be a husband. And this is smart. Why? Because we're a church that preaches the Bible. We're a church, I mean, last Sunday morning, I just preached to all the men about how you need to be a good leader of your family. It is the man's responsibility to spiritually lead his wife and his children. So look, if you're a young lady looking for a husband, you're looking for someone who's going to spiritually lead you forever for your whole life. Now, that is something that you need to be very cautious about. You need to be thinking about, you know, is this someone that I'm going to follow? In general, you will find, you know, ladies that are plugged into a good church, that are soul winners, that are living a life, you know, for the Lord, that have some spiritual maturity to them, you will find this. You will find this wariness. You will find that they're very skeptical, not skeptical, not skeptical, but they scrutinize who they would consider marrying. And that's smart. Okay, that is very smart. Parents should also be picky about who their daughter, in this case, marries, because of the fact that this person is going to be spiritually leading their daughter. You know, this person, you're yoking up with this person to lead you and your children, young ladies, for the rest of your life. Okay, but the problem that I do see is this. On the flip side of this, you have boys. Now you have the boys. The girls, they're wary. They're listening to the preaching. They know, can this person lead me spiritually? They're looking for more than just a pretty face. I mean, that's a sign of a spiritually mature young lady right there. Okay, but the boys kind of have this attitude, or I've seen this attitude, and I don't want to throw a blanket over all the boys here, but young men kind of have this attitude, like, I can marry anybody I want, because, you know, I'll just change her to be, you know, I'll lead her in the right direction, and, you know, she'll be, you know, spiritually with me, and it doesn't really matter. Well, that's not the case, young men. Turn to 1 Peter chapter 3. Look, if you have that attitude, young men, and you just go, and you think that I can just marry whoever I want, and I will lead them in the right direction, and they'll follow me no problem, you're heading for, or you're risking a miserable life. You are heading for, you know, possibly marrying somebody that could hinder you in your spiritual life. I mean, you could have a spiritual anchor that you're strapping to yourself, and then when it comes to children and how the children are going to be raised, that could be another issue as well. Are you in 1 Peter chapter 3? Man, look at verse number 4, young men, but let it be verse number 3. Well, let's just start at verse number 1. Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they may also without the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. This is talking about a spiritually mature woman, a spiritually mature wife, who's adorning, let it not be the outward adorning of plaiting of the hair and the wearing of gold or putting on of apparel. It's not so much what she looks like, what she wears, what people see on the outside, but verse number 4 is the key. Young men need to pay attention to verse number 4. You should circle this in your Bible, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, talking about the hidden person that she is on the inside, man meaning person in this case. Let it be the hidden man of the heart and that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. Meek and quiet spirit, which is in sight of God a great price. Man, this is the type of person that you're looking for to marry. This is the type of woman, type of young lady that you're looking for to marry. Somebody that's very spiritual and somebody that's not overbearing and mean and a loudmouth and a meek and quiet spirit, the Bible says. And somebody, and the key here is this, before we even get into the sermon, the key is this. The key is the heart. The key is that the heart is in the right place. So this applies to young ladies and young men. When you are looking for someone to marry, yet yes, we're going to talk about a lot of detail here coming up in the next few minutes, but the real trick is where their heart lies, is where their heart is spiritually. That is what you need to know before you would decide to marry somebody. Turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 6. So what is step one? Step one, that's all in the point of introduction. That just from what I've seen personally, and maybe this is not everyone's experience, but from what I've seen personally, the young ladies that are spiritual are very wary of this. They're very in tune to this and they should be. That's good. But young men are a little bit more flippant about it. I can marry anybody. I'm super spiritual and I'll lead them in the right direction. Not the case. Not the case. So step one in finding a biblical person to marry in a biblical, step one on the two-step path, I'm going to tell you this morning, to a biblical marriage is this. Find your spiritual equal. Turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 6. 2 Corinthians chapter 6. Find your spiritual equal. 2 Corinthians chapter 6. Look down at verse number 14. Now this is a verse in the Bible that we apply to a lot of different areas in life. We apply this all over the place in the Bible. We talk about this verse when it comes to separation and how we should live our lives as our families and how the men should lead their families in separating from the world and not getting yoked up with people that are not saved in the world. Look at verse 14. Let's read it together. Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? So turn to Leviticus chapter 21. Leviticus chapter 21. So yes, this is talking about yoking up with unbelievers. You could even take this as far as saying that a believer should not go into business or a partnership with an unsaved person. You could take it to that extreme as well. But what I'm talking about is the overall philosophy here. That righteousness and unrighteousness, there's a difference here. And you should find your spiritual equal. And I understand that that may be, just because they're saved does not mean they're your spiritual equal. Just because they're saved, everything's fine, that does not mean that they are your spiritual equal. Boy, spiritual maturity is a big spectrum, folks. It is a big spectrum. Look at Leviticus chapter 21 and verse 13. Leviticus chapter 21 and verse 13. The Bible says he shall take a life in her virginity, a widow or a divorced woman or profane or in harlot. These shall not, he shall not take, but he shall take a virgin of his own people to life. This isn't a comment on race here, when it says his own people. This is a comment on that she is part of, you know, what did it take to become an Israelite? What did it take to become one of God's chosen people? Or what it took was that you accepted the God and you practiced, you know, reverence towards that God in your life. This is talking about, you know, someone who is spiritually in line with you, is what it's talking about in Leviticus chapter 21. So 2 Corinthians chapter 6 14 can definitely be applied to finding someone who is your spiritual equal to marry. So look, what I'm talking about is you need to be finding somebody who wants to live the same spiritual life as you before you would even consider marrying that person. I'm talking about, what does that look like? I'm talking about someone who's three to thrive. Going to church three times a week when the church doors are open, they're there. I'm talking about someone who's a soul winner. I'm talking about someone who, you know, and look, not just these things. And I'm not talking about someone who's just going through the motions because I know plenty of people that go through these motions that I just mentioned that are not spiritual people. They're just going through these motions. I'm talking about somebody who has the heart for the lost. I'm talking about somebody who has the heart to serve the Lord with their life, personally, individually, not just walking behind you or walking alongside you. They have to have that personal desire to serve the Lord with their life. Look, not a lot of people have that. Not a lot of people have that. Not a lot of people want to be, you know, part of a church like this that is out there seeking to save the lost. Because look, you have to actually care about people to do that, your heart. And that's why in, you know, the passage we just read in First Peter, that's why it talks about it's the hidden man of the heart that is necessary, that that's right. Okay, look, you should probably involve your pastor or your pastor's wife in some of these conversations if you're thinking about this of entering, you know, going down this road with somebody because maybe there's things that they see that you don't see or, you know, whatever. Okay, I'll give you more on that, why you should be involving your pastor or your pastor's wife, you know, towards the end of the sermon. But step one is finding someone who is your spiritual equal. That's not a simple thing to do. Okay, that is not a simple thing to do. The step two is this, and we'll talk more about this in a little bit, but say now I found somebody who's my spiritual equal. I found somebody who they're in church, they're not just going to church, but they're part of a church. There's a difference there, did you know that? They're not just part of a church or they're not just going to church, but they're part of a church. You know, the beauty of being part of a church is you're going to find out who people are. You're going to find out who people are once they decide that, you know what, we're going to be part of this church. You're going to find out where people's heart is, and that's what you need to know. That's what you need to know. I mean, you wouldn't want to get married to somebody and find out, oh, I thought that, you know, their heart was here and it was way over here. You would not want that. Okay, that's a lifelong mistake right there. Step two is this, you found your spiritual equal. Step two is having a biblical courtship before marriage. Turn to First Corinthians chapter six. Notice I didn't say dating, I don't really like that word. Having a biblical courtship before marriage, and I'm going to give you, you know, my specific, you know, how I think that this goes into practice, which is going to matter for you if you go to church here. Okay, I mean, you know, because the Bible says certain things, that we should avoid certain things, that we should look out for certain things, you know, that we're going to talk about fornication here for a few minutes, but this is the danger for young people that are thinking about getting married, is avoiding fornication. So I'm going to give you some, some practical, you know, how a biblical courtship should look. Practical application of the Bible. Okay, fornication. Look at Second Corinthians, First Corinthians chapter six, verse number 18. The Bible says, Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committh fornication sinneth against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For you are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Fornication, fornication meaning the physical relationship between a man and a woman outside of marriage. Fornication is a unique sin in that the Bible says that you are sinning against your own body in this case. It is a wicked sin. It should be avoided by every young person. Every person who's not married, period, should be avoiding fornication. And look, there's only one situation where physical relations in the Bible, look, it's not that hard. There's only one situation where physical relations are allowed by God, and that is a married man and a married woman together. That's it. It's not that hard, you know, human race. This is not a complicated, you know, doctrine. Well, you say, you know, what about, you know, I have a, I have someone I'm interested in, what about, you know, holding hands or, or hugging or something like this? Turn to First Corinthians chapter seven. You know, what about that? Well, I'm glad you asked. Turn to First Corinthians chapter seven, one chapter over. First Corinthians chapter seven and verse number one. There's only one allowable situation where a man is to even be touching a woman. First Corinthians chapter seven, look at verse number one. Now concerning the things wherever you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. I mean, to not even touch her. Paul's talking about being single here, remaining single, remaining unmarried. He's like, hey, if a guy could, could remain unmarried and just focus his life on the ministry, this is what he goes into here. He's like, kind of, this is my opinion, he says. He's like, it'd be good, but you know, look, that means you don't touch a woman. You know, you don't go into the ministry with Paul and decide you're going to be a single evangelist and then just fornicate for your whole life. That's not what he's saying here. He says, look, being single and being single and spiritual and following God's law, he's like, that'd be great. You could really serve the Lord in your life. But he acknowledges that most men can't do that. But he says that involves not touching a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. So he's saying, he's equating touching a woman to, you know, at least leading to fornication, which is exactly what's going to happen. Okay. And the Bible says in the previous chapter over to flee fornication. So if fornication is here, I shouldn't be like seeing how close I can get to fornication. I should be running in the other direction because the way it goes is you get right here and pretty soon you're right there. You're in it. You're in it. So in order to touch a woman, you should be married to her. The Bible says, you're like, wow. You're like, wow, that's extreme. But are you saying that I can't even hold hands with my wife before I get married? That's exactly what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying. Because it will lead to fornication. You're saying, but that's not what everybody else does. Well, you know, I call it the three Ds. Then, okay, you want to do what everybody else does, you'll get the same results as everybody else. The three Ds, disease, divorce, and despair. Have a nice life. And despair is pretty much the whole one's not in front of the other. Despair is kind of the whole way. Look, I mean, if you want different results from what you're seeing, you must do something different. And that's why the Bible seems so different to people. If we had a visitor come in here today, they would be like, whoa, they'd be like, they would be like, this is crazy. What? Not even, not even like do anything physically before you're married. Yeah. That's what the Bible says. That's what the Bible says. Now look, I mean, here's the thing. We're a forward looking church here. So let me just kind of take a side parallel path here for a minute and talk to people who maybe didn't hear this, you know, biblical preaching, you know, until either they were married or maybe later in life, or maybe even teenagers that have made mistakes. You know, you say, I'm just learning this, or I just learned this in the last couple of years and I've made mistakes in my life. Well, here's the thing. We're a forward looking church. We're a forward looking church. Why are we a forward looking church? Because the Bible is forward looking. The Bible says, put your hand to the plow and don't look back. Jesus said that, but here's the thing. People that have made mistakes in the past. Let me just, let me just give you a little piece of advice here. And this is a church culture thing as well. You know, I've talked about this, you know, in general, but let me specifically talk about it here. Let's talk about talking about past sins. Look, I'm going to give you three reasons here why you shouldn't talk about past sins, especially this one. If you've made mistakes in the past, you shouldn't be talking about it here. You shouldn't be talking about it. Why? Turn to Romans 7 and verse 13. Why? You say, you know, I didn't know. I got saved later in life. And, you know, I just didn't know. And I made some mistakes in this area in my life. And, you know, I just want to, you know, tell people that I've made mistakes so they don't make mistakes. Wrong. Wrong. Turn to Romans 7, 13. Romans 7, 13. The Bible says, was then that which is good made death unto me, God forbid, but sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me, that which is good, that sin, and this is the part right here. Okay. And this is, this is a main, this is a main goal of my preaching. I mean, this is like what I try to do up here. When I spend hours and hours and hours writing sermons and studying the Bible. Like, part of that goal is right here. It's right here. So don't undo my goal. Don't work against me. Look what it says. That sin by the commandment. That means by the law. That means by the law. That means the more you read the Bible, the more the Bible is preached to you, that sin will just pop out at you. And it will become exceedingly sinful. If you go around talking about sin and things that you've done in the past, and all this kind of stuff. I don't care if it's fornication or whatever else. You will make sin less sinful to people. Because you know what people will do? People, young people especially, they will look and they will say, well, brother so and so. Brother so and so as he stood in the back of the church and told everybody about, what a fornicating whoremonger he used to be. And then by the grace of God, he was saved. And he read the Bible and he turned his life around. You know what people are going to say? People that are struggling with that sin, they're going to sit there and they're going to rationalize that. We're rationalizers. Did you know that? We like to rationalize because our flesh wants to sin. Our flesh wants to sin. So our flesh is sitting there saying, oh yeah, well, you know, brother so and so, look it, he's a great upstanding church member. And I mean, he did it and he's fine. That's what will happen. You will make sin less sinful. Look, we're not going to look back here. But one reason is we're going to keep sin exceedingly sinful in this church. Okay, we're not going to focus backwards, but we want sin to be exceedingly sinful. That's the focus of this Bible right here. After salvation is to just show you sin. You can get things right. Here's another thing it could do. It could turn past lives into a competition, which is stupid, but it happens. People in conversations about past sins, maybe it starts out as, you know, I've really changed, you know, kind of a testimony. I mean, have you ever heard these stupid testimonies? We had them at a church we used to go to. Not very. But these testimony people are like, I used to be like, I used to be this and this and drug addict and prison and whatever else. And you're just like, they list all these horrible things they've done. And you're just like, how could I ever look at you the same after you just told me you murdered 17 people, you know, or whatever, you know, what I'm just saying, they just go through this huge testimony of past sins. And it's all to just show like how much I've changed and how spiritual I am. But look, we've even heard this at the door with people. This is actually a hindrance to people getting saved, actually, which is another reason we shouldn't be doing it. Another sign that we shouldn't be doing it. You know, somebody, you'll come to the door and somebody will tell you how horrible they used to be. And they'll just give you that you just met him two seconds ago. And they give you this whole huge litany. And I'm like, man, we don't need to know everything about each other. And then they tell you how they got into like, it's usually a Pentecostal church. And then they just turned everything around. So you're not going to tell me that my Pentecostal church because I used to do all these things. Now I don't do these things anymore. It's actually a huge stumbling block to getting people saved. Huge. But look, I mean, I mean, some people just have some weird obsessions with like going through their past sins. It's it's strange. I mean, I've met several people like this. But it's not going to happen here. It's not going to happen here. Because really, it just turns into this strange bragging contest about who is currently more spiritual or who used to be worse. Either way, it's bad. Either way, it's terrible. Not here, please. Not here. And the third reason that especially in this case, you should not ever be talking about past sins, you know, to especially in the church, which is really, you know, what I'm defining here is because it's disrespectful to your spouse. I mean, what in the world are you doing? I mean, it's disrespectful, you know, have some respect for your wife, or have some respect for your husband, ladies, or look, I don't even know if this has happened here. But the point is, don't do it. Don't do it. Turn to Luke chapter nine and verse 62, Luke chapter nine and verse 62. And everybody else, everybody else who says, You know what, I didn't I didn't know this. I didn't have this preach to me when I was 16 or 17 or whatever. You know, this is for you right here. Luke 962. And Jesus said unto him, No man having put his hand to the plow and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God. It's under the blood. Let's move forward. That's all you need to know. Looking back will just hinder your forward progress in your life. It's under the blood. Just confess it and move on in your life. We're not the you don't have to bring it out to everybody. Okay, back to courtship. Let's talk about a biblical courtship, which is step two towards a biblical marriage. First of all, the modern concept. Let's talk about dating for a minute. The modern concept of dating is not found in the Bible. So you say, Well, everyone just dates now. They go out and they're dating, whatever that means. I mean, I see what it means. We see what dating means. But turn to Proverbs 18. Proverbs 1822. Go back there. This modern concept of just dating people and like this casual you date this person for a while, they date this person for a while, and then they annoy you and you date this person for a while. Not in the Bible. Proverbs 1822 is what's in the Bible. The Bible says, Whoso findeth the wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Look, this going from person to person fornicating all along the way. I mean, it's not in the Bible. The Bible talks about finding a wife is what the Bible talks about. You should be thinking about finding who you are going to marry. You know, for men, this modern dating, they're just out there having fun. That's what men are out there doing today, ladies. You know, they're taking advantage, in many cases, of women who may be looking to get married. I can't tell you how many guys that I have heard in the last 20 or 30 years, whether it be at work or whatever, that are in a relationship with some girl that wants to get married to them, and they go and they tell their buddies and their co-workers, I'm never getting married. It's common. Even if the woman or the young lady does want to get married, but they're just taking advantage. They're just taking advantage. This is what feminism has brought women. I mean, men have free access to women out in the world now without the bond of marriage. Good job, feminism. I mean, women have been sold this feminist lie today that they can have meaningless relationships with no consequences. It's not the case. Meaningless physical relationships with no consequences. Look, remember the three Ds? The disease, the divorce, and the despair? Look, those three Ds are always worse on the women. You know, like, these diseases, which, you know, I've never read so much on them before I started preaching. I have to talk about this, though. It's a huge problem. You know, these diseases, they're hardest on the women. They're destroying the women's bodies. They give women cancer in many cases. They make it so women can't have children anymore. Modern feminism is literally destroying women's bodies. But they're like, modern feminism teaches you, go out and destroy your body with fornication and disease, but then go run a marathon and be healthy. It's like, what? It's just the dumbest thing. It makes no sense. You know, this modern day dating going from guy to guy or girl to girl, full on fornication in every case. It's training for divorce, is what it is. And especially for women. Look, we care about women in this church. We care about young ladies in this church. We care enough to tell them the truth about what the Bible says. The truth about what God says and what God wants for your life, not this wicked world with these wicked philosophies. It will destroy you emotionally and physically, especially the young ladies. Feminism literally disrespects women. I mean, it's the worst thing that has happened to women in the last hundred years, hands down. It's turned women into, you know, they're just being abused. It's turned women into murderers. As they tell young ladies, like, oh, it's nothing. And then they kill their own child. And then maybe they find out 10 years later, oh, that was a child. Well, yeah, but it was a child 10 years ago when you murdered it. Now, what's that do for them emotionally? Look up studies on that. What abortion has done to women, to their bodies, to their emotional well-being. Hollywood has perpetuated this whole thing. A popular sitcom, a popular sitcom that I used to, I think I brought this up once before, I'll mention it again, that was when I was growing up, I was a teenager, I was in college, was called Seinfeld. I looked up during the, and it was this funny show, and it was funny, and nothing ever went wrong, and it was just funny, funny, funny. During this show's run, the main character had 60-plus girlfriends, all fornicating. The main female character had over 30 boyfriends, all fornicating, but nothing ever goes wrong. Now, there's no, there's no, you know, disease, there's no health issues, there's no emotional problems. It's just, oh, it's just all fun and games on TV. How well do we know how much TV has influenced people from just the last year? This is another case where TV has just programmed and ruined our society. It's crazy. No consequences. The purpose for dating, let's call, let's not call ours dating, let's call ours courtship. Let's go back to the main point. The main purpose of a biblical courtship is to find a wife, a wife, is to find a spouse. That being said, you're to marry your spiritual equal, which was step one, so should you enter into a courtship with somebody who's not your spiritual equal? No. You shouldn't even consider it. So somebody who's not your spiritual equal would have to then become your spiritual equal before you could even think about courting them. Two steps here. This is not that hard. Okay, two steps. Step one, find your spiritual equal so you're like, okay, here, I like you, you like me. Oh, but you're not my spiritual equal. You just got saved five seconds ago and you don't even know what church is. So we got some work to do here. Okay. Somebody needs to become your spiritual equal before you even think about entering into a biblical courtship with them. Period. Turn to Leviticus chapter 21. Again. You should never even consider courting someone that you weren't interested in marrying. And you shouldn't be interested in marrying somebody that is not your spiritual equal. Unless you want a life of pain and suffering. If you want a life of pain and suffering that derails you spiritually every other day or whatever. Have fun. Do what you want. Go follow what the world is doing. Go to the three D's. Good luck with that. I'm sticking to the Bible. We're going to preach the Bible here. Leviticus 21. He shall take a wife in her virginity, verse 13. A widow or a divorced woman or profane or in a harlot, these shall not take. You know what? You're saying this is Old Testament. Well, you know what this sounds like? Profane and harlot. I mean, this is a loud mouth. You know, she's using, you know, she's mad all the time or whatever. Look, this is the opposite of a meek and quiet spirit. It's the same philosophy. This is who you should be looking for. But he shall take a version of his own people to wife. Once again, talking about avoiding fornication. So what does it look like? What's a biblical courtship look like? What are the brass tacks? What's the practical application? Here's what it looks like. You've now found someone who's your spiritual equal and spiritual equal, and you're like, oh, we would like to enter into a courtship now. Well, first of all, you know, the parents should be involved in this. Specifically, the father of the young lady should be involved in this decision and the parents of both should be involved. Okay, but this is how it looks like once everyone is agreed and everyone is consenting. And look, you know, the pastor should be involved too. Because why? Well, I mean, because here's the thing. Here's why the pastor needs to be involved in this. Because number one, if it goes the right way and you do the right thing, he's going to be the one marrying you. And if it goes south, he's going to be the one throwing you out of church for fornicating. Seriously though, he's the one policing the situation. And look, fornication is going to get you thrown out of church, even if you're fornicating outside. We're not talking about, this goes outside the walls of the church here. If there's somebody that's fornicating, they're going to be thrown out of church. Look, and I've seen people thrown out of church for this. Somebody's left our church because of this. It's not a fun thing to do, but it's going to happen if it goes wrong. So here's what a biblical courtship looks like. First of all, there's no touching. There's no hugging. There's no holding hands. We're courting. No, there's none of that. There's none of that. You'll keep your distance from each other. Even the teenagers, and this isn't courting, but even the teenagers back playing games. Look, there's specific rules to where everyone's supposed to sit. The older teenagers, they especially know to follow these different rules. And look, if you're crossing a line here, you'll know about it immediately. You'll know about it in the first five minutes. First time I see it, you'll know if you're crossing a line here in this area. But courting, this all applies. I mean, look, you say, can I go to dinner and all this? Yes, but there's going to be chaperones there. There should be a chaperone there. And I'm not talking about a chaperone who is your teenage buddy. I'm talking about, ideally, your parents or a responsible adult. And I say responsible adult because a responsible adult, preferably the parents of one of the parties involved. The purpose is marriage, folks. And that's another thing in the biblical courtship. The purpose is marriage, meaning you're not going to have some, you know, that's another problem. You have dating out there in the world, and then you have these meaningless three-year-long engagements, which is like the guy saying, okay, I'll get you a ring and we'll get married sometime in infinity. Everyone's laughing because everyone knows. This is a game that men play and women are just like, you know, got her, you know, I gave her a ring and got another five years. That's not courtship. Courtship is for marriage, meaning, you know, when you start courting, you already know that person. First of all, we'll get to that in a minute, but you start courting and the purpose is within six months to a year. Also talk to your pastor about this. You should be married. That's the purpose of it. And that should be the result of it. So the goal is marriage. It should end in marriage. It should not be these two, three-year courtships or whatever. That's what the world does. It's completely stupid. It's stupid. And usually it's one person tricking the other person is what's happening. All the guys are going like this because they haven't done it. They know. They know. They know how the world works. Look, I encourage you again, talk to your pastor. He has some say, especially if he's going to perform the wedding. Look, he will help you decide what part of the one-two path you're on or if you're even ready to get on that one-two path. He will help you decide or your pastor's wife will help you decide. So look, I mean, that's what I think. That's what I think. You should find your spiritual equal. And you know what? It's easy. And you all know that it's easy. It is easy because guess what? Look, this is the plan to get you on the path of a happy marriage for your whole life, which could be the greatest thing that you ever experienced on this earth. It could be the source. It could be the source, the road, the interstate, whatever you want to call it, to children and to spiritual children and a beautiful family and grandchildren. Or it could be a ruined future marriage and despair and divorce and disease, the three D's. They just all came out like three D's. I like that. But let's talk about this. First of all, so just to recap, you need to find your spiritual equal. And people can help you with that. People can help you with that. But I want to talk about one other thing before we close. And we're kind of running short on time. But this is what my wife and I have coined Baptist dating, even though I don't even like the word dating. It's the prequel to courtship. And I want to address that because you're going to see this. You're going to see this in the church especially. And you know what? It's a good purpose for the church. It's a great purpose for the church for young people to get to know each other. It's great. It's a controlled environment that is tightly controlled by the pastor, by parents, by everything. And for young people to get to know who young people are, to be looking for that spiritual equal. That's what they're looking for, right? You're looking for, hey, who is an option for me to marry? And during that happening, getting to know these teenagers, getting to know each other, these young people getting to know each other in the church. Look, I've said it once and I'll say it again. If you're part of a church, you're not just going to church, we're going to find out who you are. And that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. These young people, we're going to find out who all the young people are. We're going to find out who all the adults are. When you become part of a church, there's really no hiding things from your brothers and sisters. You're just kind of like, this is who I am. I'm trying to grow. And you know, we've all got issues and all this, but look, going to church is not so much like that, right? You're not going to find somebody, you're not going to come in, you're not going to find some guy that comes in here and after a week is going to enter into a courtship with one of our young ladies. It's not going to happen. You say, why am I not going to let it happen? Well, the young lady themselves is not going to let it happen. They're more spiritually mature than that. So, you know, you got to find out who people are. And it's good. It's good that people in a controlled environment, that young people are getting to know other young people. Okay. And then, you know, you're going to see young people come in and they're going to get sold out and they're going to go three to thrive and they become soul winners. I mean, I've seen it. It's great. You know, and they, you know, we find out, you know, where their heart is, is the most important thing. Finding out, you know, are they just going through the motions? Are they just going through the motions so they can try to marry some person? Look, that's going to be so obvious. It's ridiculous. You know, they'll never get away with it because the church just kind of flushes all those things out. And as, as you have a church full of sold out people, it's really just easy to see that people that just aren't sold out. It's really easy to see. But the benefit is that these people are going to stick out like a sore thumb. You know, somebody that is not, you know, don't, doesn't have their heart in the right place. Maybe they just come to church and they're just like, you know what, I want to, you know, I like this one person or whatever. It's going to be obvious. There's going to be red flags everywhere. We'll find out their personality. We'll find out their character. We'll find out their work ethic. You can't fake it here. That's the beauty. That's the beauty. But just let me give one piece of advice to young people. When you do find somebody who's your spiritual equal and you, you visit with them and you're talking with them in the church, you know, this is the prequel to courtship. You know, don't forget your friends. You know, don't forget your friends. Don't be like, oh, you know, I met a girl and now you just forgot all your friends for the next, you know, whatever. You know, don't be that guy or don't be that girl. You know, just try to be well rounded. You know, we teach our kids that too. Just try to be well rounded. But look, it's a good place. It's a good place. It's the place where you want to meet the person that you're going to marry. It's the place. It's the place to find out, you know, where step one is for you. To find out who your spiritual equal is and then to get into a biblical courtship after, you know, you've gone through all the proper channels and then, you know, end up in a biblical marriage. And that is how it's supposed to work. But it all has to work according to plan, not according to how your flesh feels. You can't just be like, oh, you know, this person's really good looking and I like them and just head off to stupid town with this person. You have to listen to what the Bible is saying here. Okay, you have to listen to what the Bible is telling you and what you should be looking for in a wife, what you should be looking for in a husband or you're headed down a road of disaster. Stupid town will be fun for like 10 minutes and then it's going to be horrible for you. So listen to your parents, listen to your spiritual leaders and do things the right way. That's what I think. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.