(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.) Amen right where we're there in Genesis chapter number 18 and of course today is Father's Day and I'm gonna be preaching a sermon to the fathers on the subject of Fatherhood and being a father and I want to speak this morning on the subject of being involved Fathers being involved fathers you could just turn me up. Just a hair. I would appreciate it. Thank you as I look around at our Society and consider the idea of fatherhood would I would say that the Biggest problem that we face today with fathers is the fact that so many fathers Have chosen to be very passive in their parenting And when I say passive what I what I mean by passive or the definition of the word passive Means accepting or allowing what happens or what others do without active response or resistance and As a Christian and as a pastor and as I look at our society This is what I see but our society as well as you read about fatherhood in America today You'll find that one of the biggest epidemics when it comes to fatherhood is Passive fathers fathers that are not involved fathers that are not engaged We have a major problem with that in our society with the fact that there are men who? Have children, but are not involved in their lives do not Raise them and do not involve themselves in the lives of their children But oftentimes even when they're present even when they're in the home. They're not engaged. They're not involved oftentimes sadly Men are not the leader that they're supposed to be they're not the spiritual leader. They're not the husband they're not the father that God has called them to be the Bible teaches us that we should not be passive as fathers that we should not be passive in our role as a father, but that we should be active and involved in our role as Fathers and in fatherhood you're there in Genesis chapter number 18 like you look down at verse number 18 I want you to notice how God highlights this about a great father Abraham in fact Abraham is known as the father of faith But he obviously also had children in Genesis 18 and verse 18. This is what God says about Abraham He says seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him I want you to notice this is what God says about Abraham. I wonder if God could say this of You and I today here this morning those of us that are fathers. He says in verse 19. He says for I know him that he will Command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord To do justice and judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he had spoken of him here we have God testifying to the Involvement of Abraham and God says about Abraham. I know him. I know that he will command his children I know that he will command his household I know that they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment God says I know that Abraham is not going to be a passive father. He's going to be involved He's going to be active in the parenting of his children and this morning what I'd like to do and And I'm preaching to the dads. Of course, I'd like to give you four areas or four statements regarding Fatherhood and areas in which we as fathers must be active and involved areas in which we must be involved But maybe you're here this morning you say well this term is not for me. I'm not a father, you know I'm just a young man, or I'm just a boy. Well, here's the thing young man one day You may be a father and this is good for you to learn. Maybe you're here and you say well I'm a mom or I'm a young lady. Well, these things would apply to moms as well So you can go ahead you and and you know every time I say father or dad you can intersect mother or mom and You'll find that this will be helpful for you as well. Maybe you're a grandparent Well, your job is to get engaged and help your adult children raise their kids for the glory of God No, it's not your job not to raise your grandkids, but it is to help your adult children raise Those grandkids for the glory of God. So really the sermon is for all of us this morning You're there in Genesis 18 I'd like you if you would go to Psalm 78 if you open up your Bible just right in the center You're more than likely following the book of Psalms Psalm 78 But I would encourage every dad to maybe write these things down for areas in which we must be involved For areas in which we cannot be passive We cannot be the dad that is just there You go to work and this is the idea that many dads have unfortunately say well I provide For the family and that's all that's required of me and it is definitely required of you to provide for the family But that's not all that's required of you And if you think that being a father means you go to work from 8 to 5 and then you come home and sit down in front of a television For the rest of the night and and and and then you maybe go fishing on Saturdays Then you have a wrong idea of fatherhood. We are to be engaged. We are to be involved We are to be active in the raising of our children you say what are those areas? Where should I be involved number one this morning involved fathers should disciple their children? Involved fathers should disciple their children Psalm 78. Are you there look at verse 1 notice what the psalmist says? He says give ear all my people to my law Incline your ear to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable I will utter dark sayings of old here in these two verses We have the psalmist Asaph and he is speaking to the children of Israel and he says I want you to hear my people I want you to hear to the laws of God. And of course, he's referring to the Word of God He says I will open my mouth in a parable and I will utter dark saying Asaph is referring to the fact that he's gonna teach The Word of God to the people he's asking them to Hear his parable to hear these dark sayings these old sayings that come from God But then I want you to notice where Asaph tells us that he got these ideas and this teaching from notice verse 3 he says which we have heard and known notice these words and our fathers have told us I wonder if our kids Could grow up and I'm talking about the kids here at Verity Baptist Church the kids Represented by the fathers in this room this morning that they would grow up one day to be men and women that are teaching the Word of God to their children teaching the Word of God to another Generation and they would be able to say let me teach you the things that our fathers have told us We just had the kids sing a beautiful song faith of our fathers The idea of the song is that we would take the faith that our fathers have handed down to us and that we would Hold it near and hold it dear and pass it down to the next generation and here the psalmist says he says let me tell You what that which we have heard and known and our fathers have told us notice verse 4 He says we will not hide them from their children Showing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord and his strength and his wonderful works that he hath done For he established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel notice these words Which he commanded our fathers that they should make them known to their children Listen to me that the Bible says it is your job to train and disciple your children in the things of God It's your job. You say well, I bring my kids to church and then I'm gonna let the pastor teach them the Word of God Well part of what your responsibility is to bring your kids to church so that they could have a pastor that would teach them the Word of God, but let me tell you something. It's your job dad to teach the Word of God to your children a Dad that is involved a dad that is engaged a dad that is active He won't take this attitude Like it says in verse 4 that he's gonna hide the Word of God from his children and involved dad says we will not hide Them from their children showing to generations to come he says that we will teach our children verse 5 for he established a testimony In Jacob and appointed a law in Israel which commanded our fathers that That they should make them known to their children notice the words in verse 6 that the generation to come might know them That the children which should be born or who should arise and declare them to their children You've heard me say this in the past. There is no success without succession There is no point of us Living godly separated a spirit filled lives if we do not figure out a way to then pass that Faith on to our children. We will have failed We if we start a church like Verity Baptist Church and and raise up a soul winning army like the church like the army that this church has Become and do all the things that God has allowed us to accomplish and yet it goes to waste With the next generation we will have failed We Need to make sure that we can pass on our beliefs pass on our values pass on our integrity and our character to the generation to come It's a sad statement and I won't have you turn there In fact, I'd like you to go to the book of Proverbs if you would you're there in Psalms you go to Proverbs but it's a sad statement and at the beginning of the book of Judges when it talks about a generation that rose up who knew not the Lord When Joshua had died and the elder men had died and the generation that knew God that walked with God that fought the battles For God, it talks about a generation that rose up who knew not the Lord Let it never be said a Verity Baptist Church that a generation rose up who knew not the Lord You say how will we fight against that? How will we keep that from happening? It will require dad It will require moms and it will require dad. But today that I'm speaking to you It is your job to train your children Now here's the very specific question I have for you dad Because it's easy to say that's train your kids that train your kids that decide for your kids and it's easy for us to say Yes, that's true. Yes, that's true. There's a very specific question I have for you. Dad. When do you train your children? Could you point at a time during the week at a time a Day when you take your kids aside I'm not saying spending time with them That's a part of being a good dad and we'll talk about that later on in the sermon I'm saying when do you instruct your children? If you can't answer that question I'm not trying to beat up on you and I'm not trying to make you feel bad I'm just telling you you may be a passive dad And we need you to get engaged You may be an inactive dad and we need you to get become active Proverbs chapter 4 notice verse 1 Proverbs chapter 4 in verse 1 Proverbs 4 1 says this Hear ye children the instruction of a father and Attend to no understanding the book of Proverbs is one of the most well-known books in the entire Bible It is the book of wisdom It is a book filled with Proverbs and sayings meant to help us in a very practical way. The book of Proverbs is an extremely Practical book the book of Proverbs is of course given by God It is the Word of God The Bible says that holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost with all that said and all that being True. I want you to understand the book of Proverbs was a book written by a father to his son Primarily there's some chapters there that are not necessarily that Stop and think about that Solomon wrote down these sayings for his children hear ye the instruction of a father and Attend to no understanding Notice what he says in verse 2. He says for I give you good doctrine Dad I'm not trying to beat up on you, but I want you to answer the question You don't have to answer it out loud, but you should answer in your heart if you care about your children Yeah, I'd answer this question. When do you teach your children doctrine? Forsake ye not my law When do you teach your children the laws of God the Word of God? And notice what Proverbs says in verse 3 for I was my father's son Tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother here We have Solomon saying I had a dad who was involved with me who cared for me who gave time to me Notice what he says in verse 4. He says he who's the he there. It's his father verse 3 For I was my father's son tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother then he says this he taught me also and Said unto me let thine heart retain my words Keep my commandments and live We all ought to be involved in the raising of our children We all ought to be involved in the training of our children, but dad the question for you is this when do you train? When do you instruct When do you teach your kids The things they need to know for life go to Proverbs chapter 22 if you would Proverbs chapter 22 see involved fathers should disciple their children I Realize that our church is primarily a homeschool church not everyone in our church home schools and we understand that not everybody's able to and And and we love you if you don't homeschool and and all of that But the vast majority of the families in our church homeschool and as a result I understand that the moms are the ones who are primarily home and deal with the Bible time and and and and and the daily devotionals, and I sure hope you moms are having some daily devotionals with your kids I Don't understand what the purpose of taking your kids out of a public education in order to give them a Christian education And then we leave out the Christian part But dad it is your job to engage as well Something I read years ago, and I've given this as advice to some of the dads in our church, and this is something that I've Tried to practice myself is I think dads especially as their kids get older should have some private time with their kids one on one To you said to do what to play video games now to train them to help them to instruct them Now there are some things that young people need to learn and they're just not going to learn it unless some dad Decides he's interested and and and gets involved in the life of his children proverbs 22 Are you there look at verse 6 notice what the Bible says proverbs 22 verse 6 train up a child in the way? He should go That's not passive That's not well. Let's take him to church and hopefully it all works out No train up a child in the way You should go that word train has an idea there requires a lot of energy and effort You ever hired an employee or maybe you've been a boss or a business owner you have an employee You don't just hire an employee and start getting the fruit of his labor all of a sudden There's some time required there to train them And and you say well, it would be easier for me to do it myself It would be easier for you to do it yourself But the person missing out on the training is the one who needs it Train up a child and the way he should go notice and when he is old he will not depart from it I often say this and I hope you'll remember this we are not raising children. We are raising adults We are raising children that will grow up to be adults. We are not training them up so that they can be good obedient Toddlers or children we are training them up so that when he is old when she is old they will not depart from it So when do you train that? When do you instruct? When do you open up the Bible with your children and read from the Word of God and say let me teach you something you Need to know son Let me teach you something. You need to know daughter Ephesians chapter 6 if you would keep your place in Proverbs, we're gonna come back to it We're gonna come back to the book of Proverbs throughout the sermon So I like you'd be able to get to it quickly keep your place there in Proverbs go up into the New Testament book of Ephesians Ephesians chapter 6 you have Matthew Mark Luke John Acts Romans 1 second Corinthians Galatians Ephesians Do me a favor when you get to Ephesians keep your place there as well because we're gonna leave it and we're gonna come back To it and I'd like you to be able to get to it quickly So keep your place in Proverbs and Ephesians Ephesians chapter 6 Look at verse 4 the Bible says in you fathers provoked not your children to wrath We'll come back to that in a minute. I want you to notice the last part of the verse that says but bring them up That means to raise them That means in the process in which you're raising them bring them up you say how should I bring them up here's how in the nurture and admonition of football is that what it says and The nurture and admonition of baseball. Is that what it says? In the nurture and admonition of hunting. Is that what it says? Now there's none in the world wrong with a dad playing football with his son or baseball with his son or or Hunting with his son. There is something wrong with a dad skipping church to go hunting with a son But I'm not saying there's anything wrong nothing sinful about hunting But the Bible says that we must bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Hey that when you die, what will your children say about you? Dad was a great football player. He loved football I mean when football season started you wouldn't see him at church for the next six months That's how much he loved football. Is that what they're gonna say about you? Dad was a great hunter. I mean he loved hunting Are they gonna say dad was a great Christian? Dad loved the Lord The Bible says that God the Bible says that God has given you the responsibility man to bring them up in the nurture the word nurture has this idea of caring to care and to encourage and Admonition the word admonition means that we warn and we give advice and we say no don't do that or no Don't go there or no. This is what you ought to do in the nurture and admonition of the Lord So what do involved fathers do How do they get engaged? First of all, they take the responsibility of discipling their children for the glory of God They must disciple their children You must see your children as young converts in your home and your job is to disciple them Your job is to help them grow spiritually. Your job is to help them walk with the Lord To bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Let me give you a second thought this morning keep your place there in Ephesians if you would and go back to Proverbs Proverbs Chapter number three. I said number one this morning involved fathers should disciple their children Let me give you a second thought you can write this down involved fathers should discipline their children Involved fathers should discipline their children Dad we must consistently discipline our children Proverbs chapter 3 and verse 11 says this my son despise not the chastening of the Lord Neither be wary of his correction for whom the Lord loveth. He corrected Do you know that God is a loving Heavenly Father? Who corrects his children? In fact, the Bible tells us here don't despise despise not the chaste of the Lord neither Beware of his correction for whom the Lord loveth. He corrected notice the words even as a father Even as a father What does that mean it means this that God Corrects us even as the Bible the words even as mean in the same way that a father the son in whom he Delighted you say what can we take away from that? Here's what we take away from that It is our job dad to consistently discipline the children now I don't mean by that that it is the dad's job and not the mom's job It's both parents jobs to discipline the children. But here's what I do mean by that. Is that it's not the mom's job alone dad There are these imbalances these extremes with imbalances and One extreme is that dad does all the discipline one extreme is that mom does all the discipline both are wrong Both mom and dad need to be engaged in the disciplining of their children But since I'm speaking to dads this morning, let me say this dad be involved For Whom the Lord loveth he corrected even as a father the son in whom he delighted Go to Proverbs 13. If you would you're there in Proverbs 3 go to Proverbs 13 and verse 24 Proverbs 13 and verse 24 Proverbs 13 24 says this he that spareth his rod don't miss his dad He that spares I love him too much to spank to spank my children. That's a lie. I Don't think you should say that well, I'm not saying it the Word of God is saying it I call you a liar God did You don't like it take it up with God Here's what the Bible says he that spare this rod hated the Sun. I Love my children too much to spank them. No the Bible says when you don't spank your children you hate them Well, how can that be here's how it can be when you rest when you when you raise When you produce Undisciplined brats When you produce children that don't learn proper boundaries that don't learn how to show respect That don't learn how to socially deal with others Use it. Well, I love them too much. Here's the problem. You're gonna let that 18 year old loose with a bunch of grown men that don't care Somebody people come to church like very back to church and they say well pastors to me and he's always preaching all these things It's ain't all these main things about me You're so mean. No, you just never had a dad that disciplined you and Then you get a job and then you come to a church and then you go work somewhere and there's actually a man there with some hair on his legs who says no and You roll your eyes and get angry and get all upset because you've never had somebody say no Let me let you in on a little secret sometimes that little darling of yours is gonna grow up At some point that little prince of yours is gonna grow up And he's gonna have a boss and he's gonna have a pastor and he's gonna have a police officer And he's gonna have all sorts of people around him that don't think he's the greatest thing in the world like you do The best thing you could do for your kids is to discipline them properly He had spared this rod hated the Sun But he that loveth him Chasteneth him be times the word be times means early consistently See we must consistently discipline our children Dad you must be engaged in the child rearing And the child raising and the child discipline aspect go to Ephesians chapter 6 Ephesians chapter 6 Sometimes I see very Baptist Church like a boot camp when I was in the Air Force We went to the boot camp and those drilling structures started yelling at us And I think every drill instructor probably says this but they started yelling and as they said we're gonna do in the next eight weeks What your parents failed to do in 18 years? Sometimes when people come to Verity Baptist Church I think to myself we're gonna do in the next however long you stick it out around I stick it out here what your parents failed to do for you Because God's law is not a joke We actually take the Word of God seriously We actually believe what we say your parents may not have your parents may have said don't do that again And I'll spank you and you did it again, and they didn't spank you now listen Billy you slap me in the face one more time and Don't do it. Don't you just kept slapping her and slapping her and slapping her and there was never any consequences But that's not the real world my friend There's consequences to our actions Like I said there are two extremes when it comes to Parenting and let me just say this and and and I want to help you out the dads who say it's mom's job to Spank and not to be in I'm not gonna be involved you need to engage You need to get involved But let me just say this There's also this extreme that says only dads are to discipline. That's not appropriate either You say pastor well Who do you think should discipline the children the children should be spanked by the parent that they offended? If mom said go do XYZ and the children didn't do it then mom needs to get up and spank the child so that they'll love and respect mom and If that said do XYZ and they don't do it or they did do it or whatever Then that needs to get up and spank the children Let me just say this be careful about being the dad who's just the disciplinarian I? Remember I had a pastor who told a story about how in his home. They had this rule Where if they got in trouble with mom during the day Then they would get a spanking from dad when he got home and the problem with the rule is that he began to really kind of hate his dad He he would dread his dad coming home from work because every time his dad came home from work He was gonna get a spanking because every kid does something wrong for their mom during the day You know let that not be in our homes Don't be the father that comes home after work and and and just start spanking your children You know if they if kids did something wrong then mom needs to deal with it during the day You need to get engaged mom We need to be careful with this idea of discipline We must consistently discipline, but we must do it in a balanced way by balance I mean that dads and moms must both discipline, but by balance. I also mean that we must do it in the right spirit See we must consistently discipline, and we must lovingly discipline Ephesians chapter 6 look at verse 4 notice what the Bible says Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4 the Bible says any fathers any Fathers, I want you to notice that specifically said to dads because I think that's are the ones that struggle with this any fathers Provoke not your children to wrath The word wrath means anger you say what does that mean sometimes dads can be too rough? Unfortunately dads are sometimes known as Having short tempers short fuses being angry You don't want your kids to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around your dad You don't want your kids to feel like they have to tiptoe around you because the wrong Just one wrong word or one wrong looks gonna set you off The Bible says that we must bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Part of that has to do with the fact that we're not provoking our children to wrath Go to Colossians chapter number three Colossians chapter number three you learn Ephesians you got Philippians Colossians Colossians chapter number three Dad I don't know if you know this I don't know if you understand this But the weight of your influence is amazing when it comes to your children The weight of your impact is amazing when it comes to your children And it's amazing when it's used properly and it is unbearable when it is misused Colossians 3 and verse 21 says this fathers provoke not your children to anger Lest they be notice this word discouraged You know that your attitude to your children can discourage them The word discouraged means to obstruct or to deprive of confidence Our job is not to Trade our children and the the interesting thing, and I don't know why we're like this I don't know why human beings are like this but the interesting thing is this that we will be the most rude to the people that we love the most and Part of it is because we love them so much Because we're so close to them. We'll say things to our kids that we would never say to anybody else We'll say things to our spouse that we would never say to anybody else But because you say well, I it's because I'm so close to them That's why I'm free to speak that way, but because you're so close to them your words are very happy See when a stranger says mean things to your kids out and about it means nothing when that does It can hurt so bad This is why people often talk about as adults. They have daddy issues Because they often had dads That provoked their children to wrath Dad who are always angry always upset Always on a short fuse the kids had to be on eggshells. They don't have memories of laughing with Dad They don't have memories of having a good time That's just always under stress and always upset listen you say I want to be an involved father Involved fathers should disciple their children and involved fathers should discipline their children that should be done in a proper and balanced way Let me give you a third one this morning. Go back to proverbs if you would Proverbs chapter 3 The problem with parenting today is and and fatherhood today is that many fathers are disengaged They're passive We need you to get involved dad. So how do I do that? Well number one you must involve yourself by Disciplining your children instructing your children teaching your children the word of God secondly you must involve yourself by Disciplining your children properly consistently and lovingly Let me give you a third one This morning involved fathers should delight in their children Involved fathers should delight They should find their joy and their delight in their children. We should be close to our children We read proverbs chapter 3 there verses 11 and 12 let me I want you to see him again My son despised not to chase the Lord neither beware of his correction for whom the Lord loveth He corrected even as a father the son in whom he don't miss it delighteth you see that Even as a father the son in whom he delighteth the word delight means a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment Dad do your children feel like you're a burden to them Like you're in there, they're always in your way Like things would be better if if if they if they just left you alone Involved fathers should delight in their children. We should be close to our children We should have close relationships and intimate relationships with our children You're there in Proverbs go backwards to the book of Job if you would job 29 while you turn there Let me just read to you from Romans and Galatians You go to job 29 in Romans chapter 8 and verse 15 The Bible says this for you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear This is about our salvation the fact that we were adopted into the family of God Says for you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba father Romans 8 15 has this unique word And it only comes up three times in our New Testament is the word Abba a bb a the Paul says that because we've received the spirit of adoption. We cry Abba father in Galatians chapter 4 and verse 6 He says this and because you are sons God has sent forth the spirit of his son into your hearts crying notice the words Abba father The word Abba is a transliteration It's not an English word. It was just brought from a different language into our English Bible. It is a familiar and close way of addressing a father The reason that it says we cry Abba father We cry Abba father is because the word Abba is a way of addressing a father But it is a very familiar and close way of addressing father It's not exactly the same as the word dad or daddy but for sake of illustration a we it would say like like saying dad or daddy a Two-year-old and a three-year-old they don't say father. I have a glass of chocolate milk They say daddy dad Why because they're they're close? Because they're intimate Paul here is saying that we have received the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba Father that we are that he God has sent forth the spirit of his son into your hearts crying Abba father now We understand that we approach God the father in a reverent way And there's and and we were taught by Jesus to approach him and say our father which are in heaven hallowed be thy name And we should approach him in a reverent way, but in Romans and Galatians He says yes, we approach God the father in a reverent way But you know the spirit of adoption that's inside of us allows us to call him Abba allows it you say what's the idea the idea is this that God desires God our Heavenly Father desire to have a an intimate and close relationship with his children And by the way, let me say this to those of you who and I don't mean this in a disrespectful way But who may have some of those daddy issues and maybe you had a dad that wasn't involved or wasn't engaged or you were abandoned I'm sorry for that and I wish that I could Influence and engage every dad to be involved in the lives of his children. That's why I'm preaching this sermon That's why I'm trying to at least help the men in this room to not be the passive fathers but maybe you grew up with a passive father, but let me tell you you have a heavenly father that loves you and Cares about you and wants to be engaged in your life You may have never had a man that you could say daddy You may have had a father but not a dad you may have had a father but not a daddy But you've got a Heavenly Father that you can say about two you can cry to your father and This teaches us that we as earthly fathers Should have a close relationship with our children Even as a father the son in whom he delighted We've been studying the book of Job on Wednesday nights I pointed this out to the Wednesday night crowd when we were in it But I'd like you to notice it again in job 29. We find job being a highly successful man Successful in business successful in all sorts of areas of life, but one area that he was very successful in was with his children. I Said that it is our job to raise not children, but adults One of the reasons that we must delight in our children is because we when our children get to the place where we can no longer tell them what to do we want to still have the Respect and the love to be able to influence their lives even when they we when they don't have to listen to us Job and job 29 is reminiscing about how things used to be and of course at this point in the book his children have all died In job 29 in verse 1 he says moreover job continued his parable and said oh that I were as in months past as in the Days when God preserved me and then in verse 5 he gives us a little secret to the success of his parenting He says when the almighty was yet with me, and then he says this when my children were about me What about means around? If you're familiar with military terms you know that the command to about face is to turn around It's a circle around and he says here my children were about me He says there was a day and months past when the almighty was yet with me when my children were about me He says my children were around me. I believe that job was a the Bible tells us He was a perfect and an upright man. He was complete in all of his areas He was mature in all of his areas, and I believe that as a father. He was not passive but engaged and He would say there was a time when my children were about me My children were around me My children spent time with me See we should be close to our children like God wants us to be close to him Calling him Abba father, and we should spend time with our children I'd like to read to you just a few excerpts here from an article called the daddy factor The crucial impact of fathers on young children's development This is a secular Study, but I thought it was interesting. I'm not gonna read the whole thing to you I'll just read to you a few lines a few excerpts. It says dads matter a lot The relationship between father and child has a deep impact on children's healthy development and all domains language thinking physical social and emotional It says check out the fatherhood facts below that show the many ways dads positively impact children's long-term development Research shows that when a father is involved during pregnancy. He's more likely to be involved in parenting later on babies who have fathers who are affectionate are more securely attached to their fathers and research shows that secure attachments have a positive benefit that lasts into adulthood Children who are securely attached do better academically they are also more sociable and well-liked Children whose fathers are involved in their daily care tend to be more confident and as they grow older enjoy stronger social connections with peers fathers who are actively involved tend to Experience less conflict with their wives this strengthens the marital relationship and is a and has a long-term benefit for children Fathers who are who care for Nurture and play with their children raise children with higher IQs and with better language and cognitive skills the more time Father spend and enriching stimulating play with their child the better the child's math and reading scores are at ages 10 and 11 years old This is not about believing Christian. This is just a social program that studied these things and And Dads you need to understand that if you're going to be engaged you must delight in your children When it comes to children love is spelled T. I am e You must spend time with your kids When it comes to your younger children the time is all about Quantity when it comes to your older children the time is all about quality Either way we must spend time with our children My wife was telling me she's reading a book on Raising teenagers and all sorts of studies done on teenagers And let me just try to give some advice to some of you raising teenagers the one of the big Characteristics of teenagers is that they seem to disengage a little bit Before they wanted to go to the grocery store with you now They don't want to go to the grocery store before they wanted to go to run errands now They know before they want every time you went out somewhere in public They wanted to be with you in public when they're teenagers They don't want to be you know seen with their parents in public for some reason Here's the advice whenever your older children and specifically teenagers give any sort of hint as wanting to spend time with you You need to drop everything and spend time with them Because when it comes to raising children when it comes to raising children love is spelled T. I am e We must spend time with our children. We must be like job where you said when my children were about me We must delight in our children You must give them the time and spend time and develop memories I Said number one involved fathers should disciple their children number two involved fathers should discipline their children number three Involved fathers should delight in their children. Let me give you a fourth one go back to proverbs chapter number 20 Proverbs chapter 20 I said number four involved fathers should demonstrate Integrity to their children Involved fathers should demonstrate integrity to the children see it's not just enough to teach them you have to do it, too You've got to set the example dad Proverbs chapter 20 look at verse 7 notice what the Bible says Tell me this isn't described job a just man walketh in his integrity his children are blessed after him When you walk in integrity when you do right when you're nobody said you have to be sinless or perfect But when you are mature when you are in every area of your life trying to be whole and true and honest The Bible says that a just man walketh in his integrity and as a result his children are blessed after him Involved fathers should demonstrate integrity their children. They should model the Christian life for their children They should set the example for their children Proverbs 23 if you would look at verse 26 Proverbs 23 in verse 26 the Bible says this my son give me thine heart Please don't miss this. This is where you want to be with your parenting This is what you need to be with your children Where you can say my son my daughter give me thine heart What does that mean that that they've given you the place of influence in their lives that their influence is not going to come from? Television is not going to come from media. It's not going to come from their peers, but that they would have enough of Relationship and enough respect with you mom and dad that when you say no, I don't think that's good I don't think you should do that. I don't think you should go there I don't think that's the right thing to do that. They would listen to you and that you would have their influence The the proverb here says my son give me thine heart But don't miss this though these two things go together and let thine eyes observe my ways What are your sons and daughters learning from your dad By observing you Mean I asked the question when do you instruct your children and for some of you unfortunately the answer was I'm not picking on you I'm just I Understand how this goes for some of you. There's no answer there. I don't know when I instruct my children well Let me tell you this if you may not be instructing them verbally, but you're instructing them with your demonstration With the example that you said What are your son's learning about how to treat their future wife based on how they see you treat their mother? What are your daughters learning about how they should be treated by their future husband based on how you treat their mother? Let me let you know a little secret that We preach again. We preach a lot against fornication and a lot against all these things and and I'm all for it But when it comes to my daughters You know the biggest the biggest plan that I have for my daughter And I have lots of plans and they involve guns But the biggest of plans that I have for keeping my daughters pure and safe is That they would grow up seeing a dad who loves and respects their mother That they would grow up seeing a dad who loves and respects them that they would have be so loved by their dad That they would not put up with a jerk trying to put their hands on them One of the reasons that these girls are so loose That they're so Low with their standards is that they have daddy issues They never had a dad that showed them to respect their bodies and to respect themselves and to not let some jerk that hasn't committed To them that hasn't even showed himself a man yet to to touch their body Dad you say what should my goal be your goal should be to treat your wife like such a princess to treat your daughter like such a princess to treat them like such a Valuable individual that they would not put up with some jerk You're interested you have a job You're interested me you you got nothing good. What do you have going for you? I put your hand on me take your hand off me Punch him in the face punch him in the gut you say you treats violence. I teach my kids my girls to defend themselves The goal is that we would raise young ladies that would see themselves so valuable they would say no no You will get a ring and we'll talk and before you get a ring get a job Get a savings account Get a vehicle How you gonna take care of me say I don't think that's right you do what you want. I'm just telling you this What is it that you're? Teaching your kid mom with your looseness. Are you teaching your kids? You don't value your body? Is that what you just want to teach your daughters don't value your body Let men just do whatever they want with you What are your children learning about how to treat their future fellow church members based on how they see you treat your fellow church members What are your children learning about how to? Talk about their future Employer based on how they hear you talk about your employer What are your children learning about how to treat their future pastor and pastor's wife based on how they see you? treat your pastor and your pastor's wife I'm just saying that that you're you need to instruct your children with words, but you need to back those words up with actions Involved fathers should demonstrate integrity to their children I'm thankful for the home I grew up in and I'm thankful for the mom and dad that I have when you heard me say this before one of the Memories that I have when I was when we were growing up We were very poor and I grew up primarily especially before as I was a teenager We grew up in a in a two-bedroom home which means my parents had a room and and my sister had a room and of course, she's a young lady, so she needed her privacy and my brother and I slept in The living room and the first 10-12 years of my life. I I grew up sleeping on a couch and that that's how life was and I I'm not traumatized by it In fact, it taught me something about covetousness There's more to life than money One of the memories that I have because I slept on the couch in the living room one of the memories that I have as a young kid is being woken up by the light in the In the kitchen and watching my dad read his Bible early in the morning Before he went to work You don't think that influenced us? You don't think that had an impact on us? Involved fathers should demonstrate Character and integrity to their children go to Joshua chapter 24 Joshua chapter 24 Here's all I'm saying some of you dad is you need you need to get involved Some of you are so disengaged you couldn't even be bothered to take notes this morning I'm not mad at you. I'm just trying to shake you a little bit There is no success without succession We need to take this idea of parenting and of raising our children and make it a priority Yeah, I don't want to be a passive dad well you better get engaged you better get involved Involved fathers must disciple their children and discipline their children and delight in their children and demonstrate to their children How to live for God a Joshua chapter 24 if you would Before I read diversity I'd like to read Another passage of from a book I was Read a book a couple of years ago on Being an effective leader effective leading an effective life and in that book The man who wrote the book is now dead It's a very famous book in that book there was a Little intro entitled a Covey family tribute to a highly effective father This was something written by adult children about their father who is now dead It's very long, and I'm gonna read to you a Lengthy section of it if you don't mind. I'm not gonna read the whole thing to you and It's not about what they say And it's not about this man Specifically I'm not necessarily saying this was a perfect guy or that he was even saved or anything like that But as you read these children's writings about their father it's very evident that he Disciplined them and discipled them and delighted in them and demonstrated to them What a good man was you know that even unsafe people can raise good kids Sad thing is sometimes unsafe people do a better job at raising kids than Christians do I? Just thought this was interesting When I read it Here's what they said these are adult children speaking about their dad They said there's no doubt that our father's habit of sharpening the saw ultimately saved a life that day in Montana Growing up we often saw him doing what he called winning the daily private victory Early in the morning by meditating reading his scriptures and exercising that particular afternoon He was quietly reading on the beach while enjoying the beautiful view of the lake when he heard a faint cry help me Using the binoculars he always seemed to carry with him to search for wildlife He zoomed in on a fisherman's float tube out in the lake someone was desperately hanging on To the edge about to fall into the ice-cold water Quickly our father jumped onto his jet ski and reached the tube where he found a heavily intoxicated man He pulled him out onto his jets jet ski and brought him back to shore He then searched for the man's family at a nearby campground and found that they were totally unaware He was even missing as they had been drinking as well a few years later the man He rescued related his story to a large group claiming It was a turning point in his life unaware of who had rescued him that day He was grateful that someone had cared enough to hear his cry and save him this incident is symbolic of our father Stephen R. Covey Who was a type of lifeline not only for his posterity of nine children and 54 grandchildren? But also to a multitude of people and organizations who have been inspired and forever changed by his book Dad they said was a man for all seasons and lived with integrity Throughout the years he had many opportunities to train world leaders and heads of states and considered it a great privilege and responsibility Once during a discussion when everyone in the group was criticizing the venue current US president He remained noticeably silent when asked why he hadn't joined in the melee He simply responded I may have the chance to influence him someday And if I do I don't want to be a hypocrite several months later this same president called dad and Said he had just finished reading his book for the second time and asked if dad could personally train him in applying the principles By the end of his life dad had met with 31 heads of states including four presidents of the United States Our father never taught anything without striving to live at first This was especially true of the seven habits, which he researched and developed over many years well before the book was published He was a master of being proactive and much to our Vaxation while growing up we were never allowed to make excuses or blame our circumstances friends or teachers for our problems We were simply taught to make it happen or choose another response Luckily our mother allowed us to be victims and blame other people on occasion She provided a healthy balance to our father dad's RNI Resourcefulness and initiative as he called it was legendary once He was stuck in a traffic jam due to construction and was in jeopardy of missing his plane He decided he couldn't wait anymore and instructed the cab driver that he was exiting the cab to redirect Traffic so that the lane could start moving and to pick him up down the road the cab driver was stunned You can't do that. He said to which dad gleefully responded watch me He got out and directed the traffic so that his lane began moving again Along with honks and cheers from cars in the lane his cab driver picked him up and he made his flight Our family knew him as unpretentious and uninhibited often carrying on full Conversations with strangers while wearing fake buck teeth and outrageous wigs to cover his trademark bald head so he could be incognito One time he was asked to leave a golf course because he got bored with golfing and started enormous water fight with a friend He cringed when he got we cringed when we got trapped in an elevator with him knowing that within seconds He would turn and face the other passengers Violating their personal space and with a big smile on his face cheerfully say you may have wondered why I called this short meeting and then laugh hysterically at his own joke We learned not to care so much what others thought and to just enjoy his fun loving personality They said our father tried really hard to walk the talk and practice what he preached They often apologized to us when he'd fallen short saying things like son I'm sorry that I lost my temper with you or darling. That was an unkind thing for me to say What can I do to make it up to you? People frequently ask us what it was like Growing up with him as if he couldn't possibly be as good as he seemed although he was by no means perfect And struggled with such things as being patient while waiting in traffic jams or while mom got ready There wasn't a discernible gap between what he taught and how he lived He was who you thought and hoped he would be perhaps the greatest compliment We can pay our father is this as good as he was in public as an author and a teacher He was even better in private as a husband and a father and we loved him for that consistency We all knew that dad would rather spend time with his family than with anyone else And he proved it by how he managed his time and put first things first Though he traveled a lot under many demands of his time He rarely missed anything really important to us like a birthday or a basketball game sometimes planning up to two years in advance He continually made deposits into each one of our emotional bank accounts with one-on-one dates and modeled that in Relationships the little things are the big things He was the master of teaching moments and would apply true principles to whatever we were dealing with Encouraging us to make decisions based on our values and not how we felt in the moment He taught by example that life is a mission and not a career and that we could find true happiness by serving others We will always be grateful for such a great father and Papa as the grandkids like to call him his legacy now lives in us and in all those who have been influenced by his magnificent spirit and inspiring teachings to live lives of integrity to contribute to make a difference in the world and to rise to the Greatness that lies within each of us And now the only reason I read that is just to illustrate this idea I Wonder what our kids will say about us when we're gone. I Wonder if they'll have memories of laughing with us If they'll have memories of us instructing them They'll have memories of us disciplining them properly I Wonder if they'll be able to say my dad was a man of integrity. He demonstrated godly character I'm just telling you we need to be engaged We need to be involved Joshua 24 and verse 15 says this will finish up Joshua said and if it seemed evil unto you to serve the Lord Choose you this day whom ye will serve Whether the gods which our fathers serve that were on the other side of the flood or the gods of the Amorites in Whom's land ye dwell Why don't you notice a statement that Joshua makes this was not a passive man He said but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord Wonder what would happen at Mary Baptist Church of men rose up and said as for me and my house we will serve the Lord Wonder what would happen in this community? What would happen in our nation if men decided to quit being passive and become active to quit being disengaged and get engaged They realized that it was their responsibility to disciple their children and discipline their children to delight in their children and to demonstrate to their children Godly character and integrity if men stood up and said but as for me and my house We will serve the Lord on this Father's Day. I hope you dads Will make a decision and say I will get engaged. I Will live a life of character. I Will spend time with my kids I will discipline them properly. I will disciple them in the Word of God. I will delight in them that the generation to come Might not raise up and say there was a generation that knew not the Lord But that the generation to come would be able to truly sing with our kids saying this morning that they will hold Near and dear the faith that their fathers have handed down to them Let's pray together. Heavenly Father Lord we thank you for fathers We thank you for men. I know there are men in this room that take their parenting very seriously They Want to raise godly children Lord I pray you'd help all of us. I pray you'd help all men in this room If they're disengaged or if they're disengaged in any of these areas we talked about That they would decide today to get engaged Lord I pray there'd be some men in this room that would say you know what I've been passive too long I'm gonna get up tomorrow morning and read the Bible I'm gonna begin to walk with God and serve God and live for God And I'm gonna raise my children to do the same Thank you Heavenly Father for being a good father Thank you for all the fathers represented here, and I do thank you for my father Raised us up in the nurturing and admission of the Lord. We love you in the matchless name of Christ. We pray. Amen