(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.) Amen. All right, Amen. Well, we're there in Genesis chapter number 2. And like we've been talking about or announcing, we are going through a series on Sunday mornings on the subject of the family, a faithful family, how to have a family that's growing spiritually, growing in the Lord, growing in faith. And if you remember, we started this series three weeks ago, four weeks ago, and we began with the subject of breaking generational curses and establishing generational blessings. And we talked about the fact that what we do with our families today will have an impact on future generations. And then we talked about how to raise children that know and love the Lord. Last week we talked about how to properly discipline your children. This week we're going to shift gears a little bit. We're going to talk about marriage. We're going to take a break next week, of course, because we'll be in Vancouver, and we'll take a break from the series, and then we're going to get back to the subject of marriage. When we get back, we're going to get specifically into the areas of a husband and then into the areas of a wife and the role of a husband, the role of a wife. This morning I want to talk specifically just about marriage and how to have a good marriage. You're there in Genesis chapter 2. I'd like you to flip one page back or one chapter back to Genesis chapter number 1. Genesis chapter 1 is obviously a very famous chapter in Scripture. The first chapter has the creation story. I want you to notice something in Genesis chapter number 1. In verse 1 the Bible says this, In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, and the earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep, and the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light, and there was light. And God saw the light. I want you to notice the next four words there. It says that it was good. I'd like you to read those four words with me. Could we read them together? Let's read them together. That it was good. Let's do it one more time. That was pretty weak. Let's do it one more time. That it was good. And God divided the light from the darkness. Look at verse number 9. Skip down to verse 9. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and that the dry land appear, and it was so. And God called the dry land to earth, and gathered together the waters called he seas, and God saw, may we read the next four words together? Let's read it together. That it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass and herb yielding seed, and trees yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself upon the earth, and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself after his kind. And God saw, let's read those words together. That it was good. Notice verse number 16. And God made two great lights, the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also, and God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth, and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw, let's read those words together. That it was good. Look at verse 21. And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth with the waters, which the waters brought forth abundantly after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind. And God saw, let's read the words. That it was good. Look at verse number 25, same chapter. And God made the beasts of the earth after his kind, and the cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind. And God saw, let's read it. That it was good. Look at verse 31. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, let's read that phrase together. It was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. As you read the creation story, as you go through every day of creation, most of the days of creation, as God is creating the heavens and the earth, the stars and the moons, he's creating the earth and the seas, he's creating the animals, he goes through creation, and he continues to make the statement. He looks down at creation and he sees that it was good. Over and over again in the chapter he says, that it was good, that it was good. And in verse 31, as he kind of finishes the creation story, he finishes the thought with looking down and God saw everything that he had made, and behold, he looks at all of it and he says, it was very good. It was very good. But what's interesting is that in chapter 2, we find a different phrase. Look at verse 18. This is now God looking down at man who he just created. And in verse 18 the Bible says this, and the Lord God said, may we read the four words together? Notice what God said. It is not good. Now it's interesting that God looks down at creation and he looks at the trees and he looks at the sea and he looks at the earth and he looks at the animals and he looks at the stars and he looks at everything that he created and he said it's good, it was good, it was good, it was good. But when he created Adam and he looked down at Adam and he looked down at man, he makes for the first time this statement, it is not good. Well what is not good? Notice what he says. It is not good that man should be alone and I will make him and help me for him. Keep your place there in Genesis. We're going to come right back to it. But go over to the book of Proverbs, Proverbs chapter number 18. Proverbs chapter number 18. If you open your Bible just right in the center of the Bible, you're more than likely to find the book of Psalms. Right after Psalms, you've got the book of Proverbs. When you get to Proverbs, do me a favor. Put a ribbon or a bookmark or a bulletin or something there because we're going to leave it and we're going to come back to it. It's interesting that God looks down at creation. He says it was good, it was good, it was good, it was good. And he looked down at man and he sees him alone and he says it is not good. It is not good that a man should be alone. I will make him and help me for him. In Proverbs 18, 22, the Holy Ghost wrote in the book of Proverbs these words. Proverbs 18, 22. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a, notice the words, good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. I want to speak to you this morning on the subject of biblical principles for a good marriage. Biblical principles for a good marriage. You say why would you title it a good marriage? Because God looks down at heaven and when he sees a man and a woman come together in holy matrimony, you know what he thinks? He thinks that is good. It's a good thing. Bible says whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. And I'm here to tell you today, we have a problem in America when it comes to marriage. Marriage is failing in America today, by and large. And it has a lot to do with the fact that people just don't know how to have good marriages. In fact, I would say most people have probably bad marriages or, you know, sometimes good and sometimes bad marriages. We're told today that every 13 seconds in the United States of America someone gets a divorce. Every day. Every day 6,646 people, or couples I should say, file for divorce. Every day 6,646 couples file for divorce. Every week 46,523 divorces are completed. 50% of first time marriages we're told end in divorce and they last less than 8 years. 65% of second marriages end in divorce. See, they thought they could fix it. They thought they could make it better the second time and actually just the problem is still there because the problem is sin. The problem is not the marriage you're in right now. The problem is not the marriage you're in right now. The problem can be solved through the word of God. 73% of third time marriages end in divorce. You're more likely to get a divorce the more times you've been divorced. And I'm not here to beat you up if you're divorced this morning. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or put you on a guilt trip. And we should never treat people that are divorced as second class citizens. But here's what I do want to tell you. If you're divorced and remarried, you should commit to have a good marriage in the marriage you find yourself in today. The problem is, you say, why is divorce and why is... Because what is divorce? What do those statistics tell us? Here's what they tell us. There's a problem in America. There's failure in marriages in America. Because people do not know how to have good marriages. The problem is bad marriages. And I want to give you today, I just want to give you some thoughts. I'd like to give you four statements in regards to Biblical principles for a good marriage. Now let me say this. What I'm going to teach you this morning comes straight from the Bible. I'm not here to tell you I'm the perfect husband or my wife is the perfect wife. We are working at marriage like anybody else. In June, my wife and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. So we're not new at this thing. But some of you have been married much longer than that. But I just want to show you what the Bible teaches in regards and what I've noticed in regards to marriages that would be considered good marriages. And things that we see in Scripture, things that I've seen in my own life or in the lives of others. In the book of Genesis, keep your place there in Proverbs. We're going to come back to it. In the book of Genesis, I'd like you to notice we find God establishing marriage. And by the way, marriage was designed by God. Marriage has a divine designer. It is God who created marriage. It is God who instituted marriage. And right off the bat, when God creates marriage, He teaches us a very important principle. And I would say this is probably the first real biblical principle that people need to understand when it comes to marriage. And I'd like you to write down this statement. If you're able to take notes on the back of your course of the week, you have a place for notes. I'd like you to write these statements down if you don't have a baby sitting on your lap or something like that. But point number one is this this morning. Good marriages, I've noticed, good marriages have the right priorities. Good marriages have the right priority. Are you there in Genesis chapter 2? Look at verse 23. The Bible says this, And Adam said, this is after God had presented it to him as bride. And Adam said, This is now both of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, notice what the Bible says in verse number 24. And this verse is quoted several times throughout the scriptures. It's quoted several times in the New Testament. And the Lord Jesus Christ himself quoted this verse which tells us the very important principle that he wants us to learn and he wants us to get. And he says in verse 24, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. When I was growing up, pastors would preach this verse and they would call it the leave and cleave principle. Because in marriage you need to understand, and if you're going to have a good marriage, if you're going to have a marriage that makes it past the 8 year mark, that makes it past the 20 year mark, that doesn't end in failure and that doesn't end in divorce. What I've noticed is that good marriages will have the right priorities. You say, well what do you mean by that? Here's what I mean by that. Your spouse should be your most important human relationship. Your spouse, your husband, or your wife should be your most important, here's the key word, human relationship. I've noticed over the last 7 years of marriages that one of the biggest problems in a marriage is when the priorities are out of whack. And what's interesting is that this verse highlights probably the most common one of those problems. Look at verse 24 again. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife. You know what I've noticed over the last 7 years of pastoring and over the last 7 years of helping people with their marriages, counseling people with their marriages, helping people to have strong marriages, what I've noticed is one of the biggest problems that marriages have is in-laws who are too involved in their children's marriages. The Bible says leave his father and his mother. And I would just say this to you, if you are here today and you've got adult children that are getting ready to get married, help them with that and help instruct them in that and definitely take a part in that. But once those vows are made and once that marriage is complete, stay out of it. A wife needs not go back to mom and dad's house. A husband need not go back. Look, your marriage should be, your spouse should be your most important human relationship. When it comes to relationships upon this earth, your spouse should be the number one relationship. Keep your place there in Genesis, we're going to come back to it. Go to the book of Colossians in the New Testament. Colossians chapter number 1. You've got Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, 1st, 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians. Colossians chapter 1. Colossians chapter 1. Now let me go ahead and say this. The statement that I made was your spouse should be your most important human relationship. You say, why do you use the word human? Because here's the thing, your spouse should not be your most important relationship. See, what I've noticed about marriages that are good marriages is that they have their priorities straight. And I need you to understand, when it comes to your relationship, your priority should always be to your relationship with God. In Colossians chapter 1 and verse number 18, the Bible says this. Colossians 1, 18, the Bible says, and he, now the he there is referring to Jesus, the Lord Jesus Christ. And he is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead. That in all things, that in all things, he, that's Jesus, might have the preeminence. What does that mean? That means that he comes first. That means that he gets the priority. That means that he's the most important. You don't have to turn there, but in Matthew chapter 6, we're told, But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. And I'd like to just explain to you this morning, if you want to have a good marriage, if you want to have a marriage that lasts, a marriage that's happy, a marriage that's successful, you have to get your priorities straight. You say, what are the priorities? It's God, then your spouse, listen to me very carefully, then your children. It is God, then your spouse, then your children, and everyone else can be a distant fourth. It is God, then your spouse, then your children, and everyone else can be a distant fourth. Listen to me very carefully, I've watched marriages, I've watched Christian marriages fall apart, who did this, spouse, then God, then children. It doesn't work. You make an idol out of your spouse, and God will have to deal with that idol. I've seen this, children, then spouse, then God. And I'm just here to tell you, the moment you make, you say, why would you never put, Pastor Jimenez, why would you never put your wife before God, or your children before God? Because as you study the Bible, you will find that whenever anyone puts an idol, whenever a believer who loves the Lord puts an idol between them and God, you know what God has to do? He has to knock that idol out of the way. He has to remove that idol. The worst thing you could do for your children is to put them before God, because as soon as you make your children an idol between you and God, God's going to have to deal with those children. I'm not saying He's going to hurt them, I'm saying He's going to have to deal with you to make sure you put them in the right priority. Say, why don't you put your wife before God? Because I love her too much. Why don't you put your children before God? Because I love them too much. Because I don't want God to see my wife, or God to see my children, or God to see my job. The reason you have so many problems at work is because God's trying to deal with you, because you put your work before God. And your priorities are all mixed up. I'm here to tell you, when you put God first, everything will fall into line. You will be a better husband when God is first. You will be a better wife when God is first. You will be a better father, and a better mother, and a better employer, and a better employee, and a better business owner. You will be better at life when God is first. See, people that are happily married, good marriages I've noticed, have the right priorities. And even within marriage, God teaches us to have the right priorities. See, in marriage there is an authority structure. And we're going to talk about that over the next couple of weeks as we get into the roles of a wife and into the roles of a husband. But I just want you to notice, you're there in Colossians. Go to Colossians chapter 3 and look at verse number 18. I want you to notice that God hints at this even throughout the passages about the authority structure in church. Excuse me, in marriage, Colossians 3, 18. Notice what he says. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands. That's authority structure. God has put the husband as the head of the wife. And if you don't get that in line, and we'll talk about that in the next several weeks like I said, it will have a devastating effect on your marriage as well. But I want you to notice what the Bible says in Colossians 3, 18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands. In Ephesians we're told, wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands in everything, in all things. But I want you to notice in Colossians 3, 18, he says this, as it is fit in the Lord. See, you say, what does that mean? Here's what it means. That you are to submit yourself to your husband as long as the submission to your husband is fit in the Lord. As long as it's something that's not causing you to sin against the Lord. See, the moment your husband says, I no longer want you to go to church, you say, what's the response to that? Well, we have to obey God rather than men. As soon as your husband says, well, I don't want you to be in the Bible anymore, you just go ahead and read the Bible anyway. You just go ahead and go to church anyway. You just go ahead and pray anyway. You just go ahead and live the Christian life anyway. Why? Because wives are to submit themselves unto their own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. And the idea there is that marriage should always have God first. But look, if your husband's asking you to do something that has nothing to do with the word of God, it's not causing you to sin. He wants you to have dinner ready by 6 and you want to have it ready by 6.30, just do what he said. You're supposed to submit yourself, that's a silly illustration, but it is as it is fit in the Lord. See, your spouse, listen to me carefully, your spouse should come before all other relationships. Listen to me, husbands, because we seem to be the ones that struggle with this the most, your spouse should come before your job. Your wife should come before your career. Your wife shouldn't have to feel like she's competing with your career. Your spouse should come before hobbies. Your spouse should come before other friends. Your spouse should be your most important human relationship. But God should be your most important relationship. See, the list of proper priorities in life is God, spouse, children, and then everyone else. And what I've noticed is that good marriages have right priorities. Go to the book of 1 Peter, 1 Peter chapter number 3. You're there in Colossians, you're going to go past 1 and 2 Thessalonians, 1 Timothy and Titus, into Philemon, Hebrews, James, 1 Peter. Philemon, Hebrews, James, 1 Peter, 1 Peter chapter number 3. Now I know you're keeping your place in Proverbs, and we're going to get back to Proverbs, but I also would like you to keep your place in 1 Peter, because we're going to leave it and we're going to come right back to it, alright? So you have your place in Proverbs, you have your place in 1 Peter, and then we're also heading back to Genesis. I'm just trying to give you the heads up so you know where we're going. I said number 1 this morning, good marriages have the right priorities. But there's another biblical principle that good marriages leverage, that marriages leverage to have good marriages, and it's this, number 2. Good marriages understand their roles as partners. Good marriages understand their roles as partners. 1 Peter chapter 3, look at verse 7, notice what the Bible says in 1 Peter 3, 7. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel. And as beings, notice what the Bible says, as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. See, even though there is an authority structure in marriage, and that is true, and we will deal with that, the Bible says that we are heirs together. See, the truth of the matter is, your wife is your partner. Your husband is your partner. When I perform a marriage ceremony, right before we get into the vows, I will say something along the lines of, if you have freely and deliberately chosen each other as partners for life, would you please, you know, hold hands or turn towards each other? Because, you say, why do you say that? Because the truth of the matter is, good marriages understand their roles as partners. The truth of the matter is that you are joint heirs together of the grace of life. And the problem with marriages that fail is this, that you have marriages that do not understand, not only the priority structure, that God comes first, and my spouse comes second, and my children come third, and everyone else is a distant fourth, but they also don't understand this, that you and your spouse are partners for life. You should not have a more best friend than your spouse. You understand what I just said? Your wife, man, should be your best friend. Your husband, ladies, should be your best friend. Go back to Genesis chapter number 2. Now here's the thing, friendship means different things for a male than a female. Friendship means different things for a male than a female. In Genesis chapter 2 and verse number 18, I want you to notice, before we get into the part that we've already read about God presenting Eve to Adam, in Genesis 2, 18, the Bible says this, And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. We read that. I will make him, and notice these words, help meet for him. The word meet means suitable. He said, I will make him a help that's suitable for him. Verse 19, And out of the ground of the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam. So God said, I'm going to create a help me. I'm going to create a help me for Adam, and then the next thing he does is he begins to form every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them, and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowls of the air, and to every beast of the field. If you ever wondered why we call it a hippopotamus, you'll have to ask Adam about that when you get to heaven, because he's the one that named them. Why do we call that thing an elephant? I wouldn't have called it an elephant. I would have called it a giant fat monster nose. That's what I would have called it, but he called it an elephant, and he called it a hippopotamus, and he called it a dove, and he called it a lion, and this is what God tells us, that God formed all the beasts of the field, and brought them to Adam, and he said, what do you think we should name this one? He said, a dog. He said, well, what do you think we should name this one? He said, guinea pig. Where did that come from? I don't know. Notice what it says in verse 20. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowls of the air, and to every beast of the field. Notice what it says, but for Adam there was not found, and help me for him. See, God brought these animals to Adam, and Adam said, let's call this one a pigeon, and let's call this one a, that looks like a rat, and this looks like whatever, and he named them, and every time that one would come by, God would say, well, what do you think about this one? Adam and Adam said, eh, no. You know, they say a dog is a man's best friend, but it wasn't for Adam, because for Adam there was not found, and help me for him. Verse 21, and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh, and said thereof, and the rib which the Lord God had taken from Adam, from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. See, God created Eve. God created a woman to be a companion, to be a companion for Adam. Go back to 1 Peter chapter 3. Did you keep your place there? I remember reading in a book, I don't remember what book it was now, but I was reading a book, and they were talking about male and female relationships. There was a book on marriage, a Christian book about marriage, and it was talking about how men, and this didn't really make sense to me when I read it, and then I lived it, and I thought, oh, that's interesting. I guess they were right. See, men, men will value friendship and the idea of company. Men like to keep company. Women like to communicate. See, women enjoy conversation, while men enjoy company. Now, that's not exactly true for every man. Some men like to talk more than others, and some women like to talk less than others, but generally speaking, women find value in friendship through communication, where men find value in friendship through company. I read that in a book once, and I thought, I don't really understand what that's talking about, and later on that week, I was working on something in the garage, and I told my wife. I said, come out here and be with me while I'm working on this, you know, and I forget what I was working on, but I was on the ground. I had tools out, and I'm working, and I grab a chair, and I put the chair out there, and my wife sits, and she's sitting there going like this, twiddling her thumbs, and about five minutes go by, and she's like, why did you call me out here? She's like, you're not talking to me, and I'm like, I don't want to talk to you. I just want you there. I just want you by me. Have you ever noticed men could drive down the road? We're going to have men drive for 12 hours or 10 hours up to Vancouver, sitting next to each other, and they're going to say about five words to each other probably. Ready for lunch? Yep. What do you think about McDonald's? Sure. And best of friends. You had that with two women. Those women hate each other. I mean, you have two women on a car for two hours, and they don't say two words to each other. I mean, these are mortal enemies because men enjoy company. So, see, a man sits there and says, well, I'm spending time with you, and the wife says, what do you mean? We've been sitting on the couch, but you've been reading, and you haven't said a word to me because men communicate friendship through company while women communicate friendship through communication. They desire conversation. They want to talk. Are they on 1 Peter 3, 7? That's what the Bible says. Likewise, Jesus' husband. That's what the Bible says. Dwell with them according to knowledge. See, gentlemen, it is your job to learn your wife. It is your job to dwell with them according to knowledge. It is your job to get in that head and figure it out and figure out what they like, what they don't like, what their favorite color is, what their favorite meal is. Your goal in life ought to be to be able to just walk into any restaurant. Your wife has to go take care of the baby in the restroom, and you can order for her, and it'll be what she wants. Why? Because God knows that for women, how they value friendship is through communication, and you know what I've noticed with a lot of marriages is that they seem to not communicate at all. There's no communication going on. There's no companionship going on. There's no friendship there. Go to Song of Solomon. Song of Solomon, chapter number 5 in the Old Testament. If you start there in Psalms, you got Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon. Song of Solomon, chapter number 5. I'd like you to notice verse number 16. Song of Solomon is a book written by Solomon. It's a couple, a young couple in love, and it shows us their love for each other, but I want you to notice what Song of Solomon, chapter 5 and verse 16, says this. Song of Solomon, 5 and 16, says this. His mouth is most sweet. Song of Solomon, 5 and 16. His mouth is most sweet, yea, He is altogether loved. His mouth is most sweet, yea, He is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend. Notice what she says about her husband. She says, this is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. And I want to encourage you this morning that if you desire to have a good marriage, you must not only have the right priorities, but you must understand the proper role, and the proper role is this, that your spouse ought to be your best friend. You ought to spend time together and have company together, and you ought to communicate together. You know, my wife and I, I'm not saying we're the perfect marriage, because we're not. Trust me, we're not. And if there's anything wrong with my marriage, it's me, and my wife is wonderful, and I honestly, I'm saying that. I mean that. But you know, one thing that we do well is we communicate. I mean, we spend a lot of time just talking, and there's many a night that we go in, you know, it's midnight, and it's one in the morning, and the kids are asleep, and we're just on the couch, and we're just talking, and we're just talking about life, and we're talking about our children, and things that we see in them, and things that we're proud of, or maybe things that we need to work on, and we talk about our own marriage, and we talk about all of you, you know, and we talk about church, and how church is going, and how we may be burdened for someone, or we may be encouraged by someone, and we communicate, and I would just encourage you, if you don't have that in your marriage, if you don't have that in your life, where you come home and spend time together and communicate together, you are missing a major part of having a good marriage. Your wife ought to be able to go out like this Shunammite girl and say to the rest of the ladies, my husband is my best friend. My wife is my best friend. We communicate, and we spend time together, and we enjoy our time together. Your spouse should be your best friend. I said, number one, good marriages have the right priorities, and I said, number two, good marriages understand their roles as partners, but number three, I'd like you to write the statement down. Good marriages. Good marriages retain a spirit of pursuit for each other. Good marriages retain a spirit of pursuit towards each other. You say, what are you talking about? Remember when you were dating? How you pursued each other? You'd write notes, you'd make phone calls, you'd pick up flowers, you'd go on dates, you'd think of each other. See, a good marriage doesn't allow that spirit of pursuit to die after the vows have been made. A good marriage will keep that dating spirit, for lack of better words, alive even after marriage and years into the marriage and for the rest of their life. The perfect example is the book of Song of Solomon, which we're at right now. In the book of Song of Solomon, you have a couple who is married. If you've never read the book of Song of Solomon, you would think you're reading about a couple that is dating. You would think that you're reading about a couple that is fornicating, a couple like our world today, something that you might see on a Hollywood movie, but the truth of the matter is the book of Song of Solomon is not written about a couple that is dating, but it's written about a couple that is married. And I want you to notice the spirit of pursuit that they keep throughout their marriage. Look at chapter 1 and verse 2 of Song of Solomon, if you're still there, Song of Solomon chapter 1 and verse 2. Notice what the Bible says. Actually, well, look at verse 1. The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's. Notice verse 2. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine. Look at chapter 2 and verse number 10. My beloved spake and sent unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away, for lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone, the flowers appear on the earth, the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land. The fig tree putteth forth her green figs and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. Here's a husband going to his wife and saying, Let's go away for the weekend. Let's come away and spend some time together. Look at chapter 2 and verse number 16. Notice what it says. My beloved is mine and I am his. He feedeth among the lilies. Look at chapter 5 and verse number 8. Notice what the Bible says. Song of Solomon chapter 5 and verse 8. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved that you tell him. Notice, this is not a teenage girl with a crush. This is a married woman and she says, I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved that you tell him that I am sick of love. You say, Well, I'm sick of love too. She's not saying I'm sick of love. She's saying I'm lovesick. You've seen that. See to people, it kind of makes you sick. You know, it's like, Good night. But here you have this married woman saying, I'm sick of love, speaking in regards to her husband. Look at chapter 6 and verse 3. He said, I am my beloved and my beloved is mine. He feedeth among the lilies. Look at chapter 7 and verse number 10. Chapter 7 and verse 10. I am my beloved and his desire is toward me. His desire is not towards the NFL. His desire is not towards the NBA. His desire is not towards pro baseball or whatever it might be. His desire, here you have a wife who says, I am my beloved and his desire is toward me. Notice verse 11. Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field. Let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards. Let us see if the vine forests, whether the tender grapes appear and the pomegranates bud forth. There will I give thee my loves. Look at chapter 8 and verse number 6. Song of Solomon chapter 8 and look at verse number 6. The Bible says, Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm. For love is strong as death. Jealousy is cruel as the grave. The coals thereof are coals of fire, which have a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be content. So what are you trying to say? Here is what I am trying to say. I am trying to show you from this passage. You have got a couple here who is a spouse who is married, but yet they have this flame, this pursuit towards each other. You are there in Song of Solomon. Go to Proverbs chapter number 24. Proverbs chapter number 24. And I just want to encourage you this morning that good marriages retain a spirit of pursuit for each other. The same way you used to pursue her when you were dating and the same way you used to pursue him when you were dating is the same way you ought to pursue each other. You ought to pursue each other even after marriage. I am saying there should be a spark there between a husband and a wife. And if it is not there, then it is time to rekindle that thing. Some of you men need to go to your wives this afternoon and ask them out on a date. I would like to take you out for dinner. And go ahead and get dressed up. Go ahead and have a good time. And I realize you have got kids and you have got children. I get that. Children are young. That may be difficult. But maybe every once in a while the kids need to go to bed early and there needs to be a candlelit dinner. I am just telling you that good marriages retain the spirit of pursuit and don't say, Well, you are stuck with me now. No point in even trying. But they try to pursue and to keep up that spirit of pursuit for each other. Are you there in Proverbs 24? Proverbs 24, let me say this. Generally speaking, and look, this is a statistical fact. Generally speaking, the first thing that male or females do after a divorce, you know what the first thing they do? Statistically speaking? Go join a gym. Now, I am not advocating people join gyms. But generally speaking, you know what people do after a divorce? The first thing they start doing after a divorce? Start working out. They try to lose some weight. Why are they getting in shape? They go out and buy a nice clothes. They go get a pedicure. They go get a manicure. They go get their hair done. They take care of themselves. Why? Because they are back on the market. It would be wise for you to do that before you got a divorce. See, what I am trying to tell you is don't let yourself go just because you are married. Well, you are stuck with me now. So every time he sees you, you got to be in your pajamas. Look, there is a such thing as getting too comfortable with your spouse. There is a such thing as getting too comfortable with your spouse. There are certain things that my wife and I just don't do in each other's presence. Say why? Because we don't want to get so comfortable. We are both just laying on the couch in our pajamas and it's 3 p.m. I got a milkshake and a bag of chips. I don't want my wife to look at me and be just in disgust. You know, I am thankful that when I come home from work, my wife looks nice. She gets up in the morning and she combs her hair and she dresses nice. She gets out of her pajamas. She says, why did she do it? Well, she is going to be home all day and nobody is going to see her. I am going to see her. She is going to see me. You need to keep. If you want to have a good marriage, you must retain a spirit of pursuit for each other. You would have never dared to let him see you like that when you were dating. You would have never dared to let him see you with your hair all messed up when you were dating. You would have never dared to let her see you like that or whatever. You would go on a date and you would brush your teeth. You had to brush your teeth in weeks, but you are going to brush your teeth that night. You are going to take a shower and put some cologne on. I am just telling you, good marriages retain a spirit of pursuit for each other. Good marriages retain a spirit of wanting to spend time with each other. I would say this. Be careful about this idea of letting yourself go. I am off the market now. What does that even mean? Be careful. You ought to want to look nice for your spouse. You ought to want to look nice for your husband or for your wife. Proverbs 24 verse 5. Look, I get it. We all get older. We get old. I get that. But you ought to be presentable. Proverbs 24 and 5. Notice what the Bible says. Proverbs 24 and 5. A wise man. Isn't Proverbs all about wisdom? A wise man. Notice what it says. It's strong. Yeah, a man of knowledge. Notice what it says. Increases strength. I am just trying to tell you. Don't let yourself go physically. A wise man is strong. A man of knowledge increases strength. Why do you and your wife, you know, you run and you exercise, you do this, you do that. Why? You know, because, you know, part of it is for our own personal health, but part of it is I just want to look nice for my wife. And she wants to look nice for me. Proverbs 31. Look at verse 17. Notice what the Bible says about the virtuous woman. We hear a lot about this virtuous woman. Proverbs 31 and verse 17. And she's better at looking good than I am. Trust me. But I'm doing my best. Proverbs 31. But she stuck with me, so you know, oh well. Proverbs 31. So just, you know, a pint of ice cream every night. Proverbs 31 verse 17. Proverbs 31 and 17. The Bible says this. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. You know the virtuous woman exercise? It says here she's strong. Look at verse 22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple. She dressed nice. She looked nice. She didn't let herself go. Hey, Pastor Jimenez, what are some principles for good marriage? Well, number one, good marriages have the right priorities. And number two, good marriages understand their roles as partners. And number three, good marriages retain the spirit of pursuit for each other. Go to Proverbs chapter number five. Proverbs chapter number five. I'll make a statement because it needs to be made and we'll go through it quickly. Number four, good marriages regularly engage in physical relationship. Good marriages regularly engage in physical relationship. Now, look, the physical relationship is to be for married couples only according to the Word of God. Fornication and adultery, a physical relationship outside of marriage is not God's will for anyone's life. But when you are married, God wants you to enjoy that aspect of your marriage. You're not just roommates. You're not just friends. Proverbs chapter five and verse 18 says this. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as a loving hind in pleasant row. Let her breath satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love. Go to Hebrews chapter number 13. Hebrews chapter number 13, if you kept your place in 1 Peter and you head back, you got 1 Peter, James, and Hebrews. When I was first pastoring, I would preach on marriage and I'd almost never touch on the subject because I thought to myself, nobody wants to hear that. Awkward, right? But you know, the longer I pass through, the longer I realize that there are many marriages. There are many, many marriages that struggle in this area. Where you've got a husband and a wife who are married for weeks and for months and for years and don't engage in a physical relationship. And I'm here to tell you, there is something wrong with that picture. And you are headed for divorce and you are headed for failure. Hebrews 13 chapter 4 says this, Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled. Hebrews 13, 4. Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled. But whoremongers and adulterers will be just. You know what? God wants you to enjoy a physical relationship with your spouse. It is His will. He created it. He gave us the gift of marriage. This is one of those reasons. Go to 1 Corinthians chapter number 7. 1 Corinthians chapter number 7. You've got Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans. 1 Corinthians chapter number 7. 1 Corinthians chapter number 7. 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Look at verse 4. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 4. God created the physical relationship between a husband and a wife to be enjoyed. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 4. The Bible says this, The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife. When you got married, you gave your body, you became one flesh, and you now don't have power over your body. Your husband has power over your body and your wife has power over your body, men. One of your vows was to have and to hold. And you gave yourselves permission and you vowed. Notice verse 5. Defraud ye not one another. When you withhold the physical relationship from your spouse, God says you are defrauding one another. Often times when we talk about adultery, people will use non-biblical words. They'll say, oh, he cheated on her. Or she cheated on him. And listen to me, adultery is not something to take lightly. Adultery is a terrible sin. It's a horrible sin. And you should do everything in your power to not go down that road. But you know what's interesting is that God actually used the word defraud, which means to cheat, about a spouse who's holding the physical relationship from their spouse. Defraud ye not one another. God says when you as a wife say to your husband, no, we're not going to do that. You as a husband say to your wife, no, we're not going to do that. You are defrauding them. You are ripping them off. You are cheating them out of something that God said was right and healthy and spiritual for them to have. Defraud ye not one another except to be with concept for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. What's interesting about this verse is it kind of gives you an idea. You say, well, how long is it healthy to go? Look, as long as you can fast, that's about as long as you should go. There are very few people that fast 40 days and 40 nights. I've never met anybody who fasts 40 days and 40 nights. And here's what he's telling you. He said, hey, except to be with concept for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer. And I'm just going to tell you, a healthy relationship is engaging in this on a regular basis. And if you are not, if you are one of these couples, you're going six weeks and eight weeks and years, there's a problem in your marriage. It has to be resolved, and it has to be done gently, and there needs to be communication there, and there needs to be talks there, but it's a problem in your marriage. See, good marriages regularly engage in physical relationship. Go back to Genesis chapter 2. We'll be done. Genesis chapter 2. I said, number one, good marriages have the right priorities. I said, number two, good marriages understand their roles as partners. Your wife ought to be your best friend. Your husband ought to be your best friend. God should be first in your life and in your home, and then your spouse should be your most important human relationship. Number three, good marriages retain the spirit of pursuit for each other. My wife and I, for a couple of years now, have practiced to have a date night every week. And you know, it's done wonders for our marriage. And I'm not telling you you need to do it. I'm just telling you it's something that we've done. I try to allow nothing to come between that. I try to make it a priority. You say, why? Because my wife is a priority. And you know, even sometimes things happen where we have to move that. I try to make it up. You say, why? Because we look forward to it every week to be able to just get along together, to spend time together, away from the five children, to just have a meal together, to just talk, to just go out for coffee, or sometimes on a very rare occasion, I might take her once in a blue moon shopping or something like that, something close to it. She doesn't enjoy it as much at the 99-cent store, but you know, it's still shopping. Your wife should be your best friend. Good marriages retain the spirit of pursuit for each other. That's that date night. That connection. Don't allow your relationship to get old, and good marriages regularly engage in physical relationship. Are you there in Genesis chapter 2? Look at verse 18. Let's look at the verse where we started. Genesis 2, 18. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help me for him. And you know, the Bible doesn't tell us this, but I have a feeling, I have a feeling, when God looked down at Adam and Eve, I got a feeling that this is what he thought. He said, It is good. It's good. Marriage is good. God wants you to have a good marriage. But we must learn to leverage the biblical principles. Now I encourage you to work on these. Maybe God has spoken to your heart in regards to one of these areas. You're struggling in one of these areas. I encourage you to work on those. Don't be a statistic. Don't be a failure. You can have the victory in your marriage if we would leverage the biblical principles for good marriage. Father, I have to have a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you, Lord, for your word. Thank you for the Bible. Thank you for the fact, Father, that it really does hold the answers to every question in life. And Lord, I pray that you would strengthen marriages today. I pray here at Rarity Baptist Church that marriages would be strengthened, that relationships would be strengthened, because the marriage is really the foundation, it's the cornerstone of the home. You cannot raise good children while struggling through a bad marriage. And the home is the cornerstone of our church. We need strong marriages. And Lord, I pray that you would help us to think of these principles, to apply them to our lives. Help us, Lord, to desire to have good marriages. We love you, Lord. In the name of Christ, we pray. Amen.