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Amen. All right, we're there. First Timothy, keep your place there and go with me to the book of Acts just real quickly. We're going to come right back to, excuse me, 2 Timothy chapter 1. Keep your place there, but go to the book of Acts. Acts chapter 16. And we've been going through a series on the subject of the family, a faithful family. And we've kind of been hitting it in sections. I don't know if you've noticed, but we spent the first three weeks talking about children. We talked about breaking generational curses, establishing generational blessings. We talked about how to raise children, that know and love the Lord, how to properly discipline your children. Then we shifted gears a little bit and we spent three weeks on marriage. We talked about principles for good marriage. Then we specifically talked about what wives really want. Last week we talked about what husbands really want. And we talked about the reverence and love and the relationship there. This morning we're going to kind of shift gears again as we're kind of closing up this series. And I'm going to preach today on the subject of the family, next week on the subject of the family, and we'll be done with this series. We'll move on to something else. But this morning I'm preaching a very specific subject. And last time we met I announced the fact that I'm preaching on the subject of advice for single mothers and blended families. Advice for single mothers and blended families. Now you may be here tonight, or this morning, excuse me, it's been a long week for me. You may be here this morning and you are a single mother or a single parent. Or maybe you are in a blended family. You know, a family that has unfortunately seen divorce and maybe remarriage. And this sermon is meant to try to help you and encourage you. But maybe you're here and you're not in a blended family. Maybe you're in a traditional family. You know, a husband and a wife and children from both parents. But you probably know someone who is in a blended family or who is maybe a single parent. And you can be a blessing to them as you learn these principles. And what I want to do this morning is just give some advice. And what I'm going to do is I want to talk to the single parents. And I want to give them just two points, two pieces of advice. And then we're going to talk to the blended families and I'll give them two points, two things to think about, two pieces of advice. And then I'm actually going to talk to the traditional families. And I want to give you two points and two things to consider in regards to that. Now let me go ahead and say this before we jump into the sermon. I've already preached a sermon on how to raise children that know and love the Lord. I've already preached a sermon on the subject of properly disciplining your children. Whether you're a single parent or a blended family or a traditional family, all of those things apply to all of you. When it comes to raising your children, we all are supposed to raise our children the same way in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So I'm not going to re-preach those principles because those apply to you. Those are for you whether you're married or not married. If you have children, all of that applies. So I want to talk about specifics in regards to single families, blended families, and then I'm even going to speak a little bit to the traditional families this morning. So I'm going to start by giving some advice to the single mothers. And you were there in 2 Timothy. We're going to come back to it. But I'd like you to go to the book of Acts. And just by way of introduction, I want to give you a little bit of Timothy's backdrop or his backstory. And just a little bit of what I believe in regards to the life of Timothy. In Acts 16 and verse 1, the Bible says this, Acts 16, 1. Then came he to Derbe, talking about Paul, and Lystra. And behold, a certain disciple was there named Timotheus. So this is when Paul meets Timothy or Timotheus for the first time. I want you to notice what the Bible says. The son of a certain woman, which was a Jewess, notice what the Bible says, and believe. The narration of the book of Acts, which we know Luke wrote the book of Acts, but under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is careful to tell us at the introduction of Timothy that he was the son of a certain woman who was a Jewish woman, which was a Jewess, and believed, meaning she was saved. She was a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. Now notice what the Bible says. But his father was a Greek. So when we are introduced to Timothy, we are also introduced to his parents. And we are told about his mother, that she is Jewish, but that she is a believer. And then we are told about his father, that he is a Greek, but we're not told that he's a believer. And I believe that the Bible is definitely hinting towards the fact here that for Timothy, his mother was saved, and his father was likely not saved. Because of the fact that, you know, it mentions she's Jewish, it mentions he's Greek, it mentions she's saved, and then nothing on the other side. I think God is trying to explain to us that we have a young man here who has a mother who was saved, and who has a father who was likely not saved, likely not a believer, likely was worldly. Go to 2 Timothy chapter 1. Let's look at something else in regards to the backdrop or the backstory of Timothy. 2 Timothy chapter 1, look at verse 5. Notice what Paul says when he's writing to Timothy, and he's writing about his family. Notice what he says, 2 Timothy 1.5. When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee. So notice there's a mention of the faith, which is what makes you a believer. We are saved through faith, for by grace are you saved through faith. So we're told of Timothy having unfeigned faith. When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, notice, which will first in thy grandmother lowest. He goes back to grandma, and he says, your grandmother had unfeigned faith. And thy mother Eunice, he says, your mother has unfeigned faith. He says, you have unfeigned faith, and I am persuaded that in thee also. And again, I realize that this may be circumstantial in the sense that there's nothing telling us that his dad wasn't saved, but there's no mention of his father. You're mentioning grandmother being saved, you're mentioning mother being saved, you're mentioning son being saved, but then you have just nothing or an absence there of the father of Timothy. And here's all I would like to say, I believe that Timothy's father was not saved, and I believe that Timothy's father was absent. He's not even mentioned here. You know, you've got grandmother, you've got mother, you've got Timothy. Now I don't know if Timothy's father was simply absent in the sense of spiritually. He was in the home, and he was married, and he was raising him, but spiritually he was absent. Spiritually, here Eunice was taking her son Timothy to church every week, but dad was staying home and watching the game, just not involved spiritually. Or maybe he was just absent physically, but we can see here that in some ways we can learn from the story of Timothy, and maybe see some things in regards to a woman who raised a son, Timothy, who ended up being a great man of God, who did great things for God. Two books of the Bible are written to him in regards to pastoring and leadership, and she did that, and she likely did that. I mean, I believe she definitely did that in a home where dad was just not involved spiritually at all, but maybe even likely where dad wasn't even around. You know, because the fact that the grandmother is mentioned maybe leads you to believe that, you know, mom is probably living with grandma while raising Timothy. And you know, today there is an epidemic of single parents. We are told that there are 13.7 million single parents in the U.S. today, raising 21.8 million children, which is 26% of the children in the United States. That means more than one quarter of the children in the United States of America are being raised by a single parent. That's not counting the children that are being raised by parents in a blended family, that maybe a stepfather or a stepmother. That's just talking about the children that are being raised by one individual mom or one individual dad. We're also told that 84% of single parents are mothers, and 26% of single parents are fathers. So you know, I'm going to talk more to the moms, you know, and maybe use that terminology, just because when you're talking about single parents, the vast majority of single parents are single mothers. So let me just give you two thoughts, and I want to talk to the single moms or single parents and just give you some advice in regards to raising your children. And again, if you did not listen to the sermon on how to raise children that know and love the Lord, remember that sermon we went through, Samuel? How Eli, and by the way, Eli raised Samuel, who is not, you know, Samuel's father. So you know, you can see these things throughout Scripture, but you know, you need to go back and listen to that. If you didn't listen to the sermon on how to properly discipline your children, you need to go back and listen to that. I'm not re-preaching those things, so please understand, what I'm telling you this morning is not like, well, those two things, I'm giving you specifics for single parents, specifics for blended families, but all those other things still apply. So here's the two points for single parents. Number one, make your relationship with God and your children your top priority. Make your relationship with God and your children your top priority. Now you say, well, how's that different from, you know, you say that to a single parent, how's that different from maybe somebody in a traditional marriage? Because you know, what I would tell a wife in a traditional marriage is make your relationship with God your top priority, your relationship with your husband your second priority, and your relationship with your children your third priority. But what I would tell a single parent is you need to make your relationship with God and your children your top priority, in that order, God first and your children second. You're there in 2 Timothy chapter 1, look at verse number 5, notice what the Bible says. Paul said this, when I call to remembrance, notice what he says, the unfeigned faith, that word unfeigned meaning it wasn't fake, it was real, there was a real authentic faith there that Eunice had, and that Lois had, he says when I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois and thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee also, I'm here to tell you that I believe that one of the reasons that Timothy was raised for God and serves God in a home where dad was not saved, where dad was not spiritually engaged, and dad may have not even been there, was because he had a grandmother and because he had a mother that had unfeigned faith and they made the relationship with God their top priority. Look at 2 Timothy chapter number 3, 2 Timothy chapter number 3, notice what Paul says to Timothy, 2 Timothy chapter number 3, 2 Timothy chapter 3 and verse 14, 2 Timothy 3 and verse 14, the Bible says this, 2 Timothy 3, 14, but continue thou, who's Paul speaking to, he's speaking to Timothy, he says but continue thou in the things which thou Timothy has learned and has been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them, notice verse 15, and that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures. Now look, when Paul says hey Timothy, I know that you have been taught from a child the holy scriptures, who do you think that was that was teaching Timothy from a young age, you know the word of God, I would submit to you that it was a godly mother named Eunice and a godly grandmother named Lois, and here Paul says hey from a child that has known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus, and here's what I'm telling you, you're saying well how did Timothy turn out right with a dad that was disengaged, how did Timothy turn out right with a dad that was not even saved, how did Timothy turn out right, when the family's being spoken of, he's not mentioned, you know he's probably not even there, they're probably living with mom, with grandma, you know how did he turn out right, and I tell you I believe that Eunice made her relationship with God and her relationship with her children her top priority. The biggest mistake I see single parents make is that they get caught up in their own social life, they get caught up in their own dating life, they get caught up in their own love life, and look I'm not trying to hurt your feelings as a pastor, I'm trying to help you, I love you, but if you are a single parent here, you need to understand that as soon as God gave you children those children became your priority, and don't have your children take a back seat to your dating life, to your social life, to your love life, to your friend, hey here you have a mother who gave herself to God and gave herself to her son and made sure that her son was raised right, what would you say to a single parent, well the first thing I would say to a single parent is make your relationship with God and with your children your top priority. Now I want to explain a couple of things, I'm not saying that single parents can't get married, you know the Bible teaches us specific things about when someone is and is not allowed to get married, and I want to show those to you, go to Romans chapter number 7, in Romans chapter 7 you got Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans. Romans chapter number 7, now let me say this, if you are divorced this morning, if you are divorced, I would encourage you to commit to remain unmarried. Now look, I know that what I just said is not popular today, people don't want to hear it, people get mad at me when I preach it, but that's what the Bible says, and I'm going to prove it to you from the word of God, I realize that most Christians don't follow this, look if you're here this morning and you are divorced and remarried, I'm not against you, I'm not trying to put a guilt trip on you, obviously it's a sin like any other sin we all sin, the Bible says if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, I believe God can use you and I believe that God has a purpose and a plan for you, I'm not trying to, here's what I'm trying to do, I'm trying to help people from making mistakes that haven't already made those, and look the Bible is very clear, the Bible is very clear that when you get divorced, God expects you to not get married again, divorce is a one time, you get to do it one time in life if you're going to follow God, and if it doesn't work out and it ends up in divorce, the Bible teaches that you are to remain unmarried, and look, we have people in our church that are divorced and remarried, we love them, we're not mad at them, you're not a second class citizen, but that's not going to change the fact that that's what the Bible says, I'm not going to mention that because people, if I took that idea, every sin that our church people have committed in the past, I'm not going to mention because I don't want to hurt their feelings, then you know what, I would never mention anything, because every sin has been committed, I mean, I'm sure some of you have killed someone, I don't know, but Romans chapter number 7, Romans chapter 7, don't tell me if you have please, Romans chapter 7, verse 1, Romans 7, 1, hey, we've had psychos in our church that I'm sure have killed people, Romans 7, 1, know ye not, brethren, for I speak to them that know the law, how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth, notice verse 2, for the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband, notice what the Bible says, look, when I became a preacher of the word of God, I committed myself to preach the word of God, I was talking to Pastor Romero this week right before I preached on Friday night, we were talking about different things about prophecy, and I said to him, you know, this would be a lot easier if I didn't have to preach the Bible, you know, if I didn't have to prove everything from the Bible, I could come up with all sorts of interesting things to talk about, you know, I could be like Sam Gibb and start talking about, you know, zombie apocalypse, you know, and all, you know, UFOs and all sorts of interesting things, I get a whole lot of views on YouTube, right, but look, I have to preach the word of God, and here's what the Bible says, for the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth, but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. Look, when you get married, you make a vow till death do us part, and you say, why do you make that vow? Because that's what God says, he says that you are bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth, but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband, verse 3, so then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress. Look, can that be any more clear? I mean, did I go back and say, well, the Greek word here, look, it's very clear, the Bible says that you are bound by the law to your husband so long as he liveth. Now, when your husband dies, you're free to marry whoever you will, because it's till death do us part. But, verse 3, if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress, but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. So look, when your husband dies, you know, you're free from the law. You're no longer till death do, you know, death has done you part, and you're free to marry anyone else. That's what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches that when you get remarried after, you know, a divorce, it calls it adultery, it's wrong. That's what the Bible teaches. Go to 1 Corinthians chapter number 7. You're there in Romans 7, 1 Corinthians. You got Romans, the next book is 1 Corinthians. Now let me answer this. And again, look, if you're here and you're divorced or remarried, I'm not against you, I don't really, that's between you and God, all right? And let me answer this because I often have people try to, you know, corner me with this, you know. What if someone gets divorced and remarried, you know, within our church? You know, are you going to kick them out? You know, I'm not on this hair trigger to try to kick people out of church, okay? I kick people out of church based on what the Bible tells me to kick people out of church for, and divorce and remarriage is not one of them. Now look, I will kick people out of church for fornicating. You know why? Because 1 Corinthians 5 says that if you fornicate, you should be cast out of the church. So if you're divorced and you're shacking up with someone, or if you're divorced and you're, you know, committing fornication, then yes, we will kick you out of church. But, you know, hypothetically, and not even hypothetically, I know of people, not in our church, but I know of people in other churches who were divorced, who met someone, did not fornicate, you know, ended up dating, ended up getting engaged, just kept it to themselves, didn't throw themselves a big party, went down to the state, got married, came to church one day, they're just married, but they never lived together, they never fornicated. You know, you say, are you for that? I'm not for that because that's not what the Bible says, but am I going to make those people my enemy? No. Am I going to kick them out of church? No, because the Bible doesn't say that. And we often have these holier-than-thou attitudes where we're like, well, you know, we need to come down hard. No, you know what? We need to just follow what the Bible says. And the Bible says you kick people out of church for fornicating. So hypothetically, if someone in our church was divorced and they met somebody else and they got married, as long as they're not fornicating, I'm going to preach against it. I'm not going to ever stop preaching against it. Well, pastor, you're going to preach against it while they're doing it. I preached it when they got here. I'll preach it when they leave. All right? My job is to preach the Word of God. But you need to understand those things, because sometimes we want to make things out to be worse or whatever. Look, you have to follow what the Bible says. What does the Bible say? Now, again, I'm not ever going to stop preaching that people... And I want to encourage, if you're here this morning and you're divorced and you're not married, hey, just commit to be one of the few Christians who actually follows the Bible and says, I'll remain unmarried. 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Now, let me say this, because when I preach this, this is the question I always get asked. I've had people ask me this question like 100 times. What about if you're in a marriage where abuse is taking place? What if you're in a marriage where you're married to a reprobate? What if you're in a marriage where your children are being abused? Do you think they should just stay together? And look, the answer to that question is no. I would never tell a woman to stay in a marriage where either she or her children are in danger. Say, well, Pastor Jimenez, what are you saying? Well, look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Because, you know, the Bible has all the answers. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 10 says this, And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband. That's a command from God. God is against divorce. He says, let not a wife depart from her husband. Look at verse 11. But and if she depart. So God says, he acknowledges the fact that sometimes people are going to depart. Sometimes, you know, you married someone and they're abusing you or they're abusing your children or they're a reprobate or they're doing something terrible, you know, and you have to separate from them. But and if she depart. Notice what the Bible says. Let her remain unmarried. Or say, I don't like that option. Okay, well, here's your other option. Or be reconciled to her husband and let not the husband put away his wife. See, the Bible doesn't give you the option, oh, your husband was a psycho. So divorce him and marry someone else. No, here's what God says. If you have to depart, then you just have to remain unmarried. And you say, well, why did God do that? You know why I believe God did that? Because if people actually followed what God said and they actually said, okay, if I get a divorce, then that means I have to remain unmarried for the rest of my life, then only people who were really seriously, honestly in an abusive relationship would ever do that to protect their children. Because I'm here to tell you today that most divorces in America today are not based on those terms. They're just, I don't, you know, I'm not, I fell in love with the girl at work or I fell in love with the guy at work or, you know, whatever it is. And God puts these strict terms, and by the way, here's another reason why God puts these strict terms on it, single people. You know, your sermon's coming next week, but let me just give you, let me give you a preview. It's till death do us part. It's a lifelong commitment, so make sure you're wise and don't make stupid decisions going in. Because you know what young people want to do is they fall in love, you know, and all of a sudden they don't see, and everybody else, you know, I mean, I've counseled people and I'm like, are you sure you want to marry this person? They're so amazing and they're so great. And it's like six months later I'm in my office and I'm like, remember when you said till death do us part? You know, make sure you go into a marriage, seriously, God is just trying to show us this is a big deal. He's not for divorce. And if you have to divorce, then God's will would be that you remain unmarried. So look, I'll never, I would never tell someone in an abusive relationship, stay there because you're married. No, if you have to depart, depart. But here's how we'll know you're serious if you remain unmarried. But you know, most people are setting up their Christian Mingle account before the divorce has even gone through. You know, most people are already setting up their little dating sites, you know, but before they've even filed for divorce and that just shows you what they're really interested in. And look again, I'm telling you, I understand this is not popular. This is not going to cause me to be the next Joel Osteen, but this is what the Bible says. This is what the Word of God says. So, you know, what would I say to these people, to single parents? I'd say, hey, make your relationship with God and your children your top priority. And if you're divorced, you know, just commit to remain unmarried and just give yourself to God and to your children and raise them for God. And maybe God will kill your ex, I don't know, you know, maybe you'll, I don't know. But, you know, just commit to say I'm going to fall in love. That's the advice I would give you, commit to remain unmarried. Now look, if you say, pastor, I'm not going to do that, I'm going to go date, look, I'm not promoting that, I won't perform your marriage, but I'm not your enemy. I won't be mad at you. If you're fornicated, I'll kick you out of church. But, you know, if you go and marry somebody, I mean, whatever, but I'm not going to stop preaching what the Bible says because that's what the Bible says. Now let me say this, though. Let's say you're in a position, go to 1 Timothy chapter 5. Let's say you're in a position where you're not divorced, but you find yourself as a single parent. Because sometimes people, you know, they never got married or divorced, they just had children out of wedlock, you know, or, you know, whatever the situation might be. So if you're not divorced, you know, what's the advice for you? Because here's the thing, if you're not divorced, you're allowed to get married. You know, the Bible teaches that. 1 Timothy chapter 5, look at verse 9. Well, we just saw it in Romans 7. So then if while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress. But if her husband be dead, she is free from that law so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. And, you know, don't take these terms too far either. Oh, if someone gets divorced and remarried, then we have to put them to death, you know, because they committed adultery. You're an idiot. Okay, let me explain something to you. Do you know what Jesus said? If a man look on a woman to lust after, he hath committed adultery with her already in his heart? So you're looking at your little porn, then maybe we should put you to death too. Okay, so don't add things to the Word of God. The Levitical law talks about someone who commits adultery physically, that they were supposed to be put to death, and we don't even live under that law, so we don't follow that. But don't take things too far to try to embarrass people or try to make them look bad, you know, before we embarrass you. 1 Timothy 5, 9, Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, that's 60 years old, having been a wife of one man, well reported up for good works, if she hath brought up children, if she hath lodged strangers, if she hath washed the saints' feet, if she hath relieved the afflicted, if she hath diligently followed every good work. Verse 11, But the younger, you know, less than 60 years old, widows refused. You hear God talking about how the church is supposed to take care of widows, but there are strict guidelines as to which widows the church is supposed to take care of. They're supposed to take care of widows that are threescore years old, 60 years old and up, who are well reported up for good works, if they have brought up children, if they have lodged strangers, if they have washed the saints' feet, if they have relieved the afflicted, if she hath diligently followed every good work, you know, so they're supposed to serve. Also, it says, having been the wife of one man, so, you know, we're supposed to take care of widows that have been the wife of one man. Verse 11, But the younger, less than 60 widows, refused. He says, he's telling you, don't take care of the widows that are less than 60 years old. You say, why? For when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry. And you say, well, is God against them getting married? Look at verse 14, I will, therefore, that the younger women, aren't these widows young women? They're 60 years old and below. He called them younger. I will, therefore, that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. So, here we're told that if you're not divorced, you know, you're allowed to get married. But I would just give you this advice if you're in that situation. You know, keep your children at the center of those relationships. You're not dating like a single 18-year-old. You're dating as a grown adult with children, so don't act like you're some, you know, teen in love. Those kids need to be involved in those decisions, and I'm not saying they make the decisions, but they need to be involved in that process because they're going to be part of that family, that blended family, or whatever it might be. Let me give you the other advice for single moms. Go to 1 Timothy 1. If you're a single mom, you should find a male spiritual role model for your children. You know, something that Eunice did that was very smart of her is even though her own husband was not saved and maybe even absent from the picture, she sought out a man, a spiritual man, who could be the spiritual role model for her son Timothy. 1 Timothy 1. Look at verse 2. Let me give you the proof of that. 1 Timothy 1, 2. This is the apostle Paul writing under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost. He says unto Timothy, notice what Paul says, my own son. He said, well, was Paul Timothy's father? No, remember, his father was a Greek. Notice what he says, my own son in the faith. My own son in the faith. So it's a spiritual thing. Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord. Go to verse 18, 1 Timothy 1, 18. Notice what Paul said. He says, this charge I, this is Paul speaking, this charge I commit unto thee. Notice what he says. Son Timothy. He calls him his son according to the prophecy before on thee, that thou by thy mightest warfare. Go to 2 Timothy chapter 1. 2 Timothy chapter 1. Look at verse 2. 2 Timothy chapter 1, verse 2. 2 Timothy 1, 2. To Timothy, my, this is Paul speaking, dearly beloved son, grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord. You know what Eunice did that was very smart of her? Even though her husband and Timothy's father was not in the picture, she chose to bring Timothy and to have Timothy be around Paul to the point where Paul and Timothy became so close that Paul is calling Timothy his own son in the faith. You know, and if you're a single parent, and maybe the father's not in the picture, or even, you know, dad is in the picture but he's not spiritual, you would be wise to make sure your children are near and have relationships with other godly men, especially the male children, with other godly men. You know, you would be wise to make sure your children are at every church service, that they're at every activity, that they go to every, you know, conference they can go to, they go to every work day, every men's preaching night, and you have them around other men, maybe there's not a godly man in the home, but they can see other godly men that love their wives and love their children and work hard and have integrity, and they can have those men in that church like Timothy, maybe couldn't look at his own father and have someone to look up to, but he's able to look at Paul and have Paul be a role model. So you know how to just encourage you to find a male spiritual role model for your children, and have them around godly men that love the Lord and love his word, because that's what Eunice did and it was a good thing, it worked out well, in fact, Paul and Timothy ended up becoming so close that Paul would call him his own son in the faith. You know, and you would do well to do that. So when it comes to the advice for single mothers, what is it? Number one, make your relationship with God and your children your top priority. Find a male spiritual role model for your children. Number two, let's change gears and I want to give some advice to blended families. Now again, what are we talking about when we talk about blended families? We're talking about families that have been divorced and remarried. Families that have, maybe you've got a father and a mother who are raising children that they're not, all the children are not from both parents. You know, you've got a stepfather, a stepmother situation, that would be a blended family. So what advice would you give to blended families? Well, I'm actually going to give two things, two keys, tips to the parents and I'm going to give two tips to the children in those blended families. Go to Proverbs chapter number 13. Proverbs chapter number 13. Proverbs 13. Proverbs 13 and verse 24. What advice would you give to parents of blended families? Well, one thing that I see a lot, and I'm not saying in our church, because honestly I can't think of anybody in our church that I've seen this or that I even have, you know, the ability to see this, but I've just seen it in life, is that oftentimes when people get divorced, they all of a sudden get in competition. You know, you're not in competition with your ex. You know, mom's in competition with ex-husband or dad's in competition with ex-wife. And here's the advice that I would give you. You're there in Proverbs 13 and verse 24. The Bible says, He that spareth, what's the word spareth or spare? It means to refrain from, to withhold, to not do. He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth them betimes. And you know, the advice that I would give, the first tip that I would give to blended families is make sure you discipline your children even if your ex spoils them. Make sure you discipline your children and you, you know, discipline them properly the way God says to do it, even if your ex, because here's what happens. It's like, well, when I'm at mom's house or when I'm at dad's house, it's all church and it's strict and I get disciplined and this. And then I go over there and it's all party and it's all fun and I never get disciplined. And that makes, you know, the godly spouse or the one that's trying to do it right, it makes, gives them a temptation to maybe not, you know, discipline or to not come down because they have this competition. I would just submit to you that you need to just follow what God says because God says he that spareth his rod, number one, hateth his son, you know. So if you say, well, but then I'm not going to be their favorite. It doesn't matter. You need to be their parent. You don't need to be their favorite. You don't need to be their friend. You need to be their mom. You need to be their dad. And listen to me very carefully. Those kids are going to grow up to love you and to not respect the other one. It's the truth. Children at the time will act like, well, I have more fun with dad or I have more fun with mom and you're just a fuddy-duddy and you're just strict and you're just that. But you know what? They're going to grow up to respect you and to honor you and to be thankful that you discipline them and you help them. And you say, well, I don't see that right now. You have to have faith. Even with your children, even in our home with our children, I'll notice that sometimes my children will be acting bad or having a bad attitude or whatever, and I'm trying to not spank them and I'm telling them, hey, you need to listen. Here's what you need to do. If you don't do it, I'm going to spank you. And sometimes you're kind of lenient, a little too long. But when you finally do just take care of it, you know what I've noticed is the kids immediately, their attitude is fixed, and they just want to be around you and love you. And that never really made sense to me. Like, I just disciplined you, but you love me and respect me more. But you know what? That's just how it works. And these parents, they think, oh, well, I'm so loving, I'm not going to spank my children. And then that's why they've got kids that are just kicking them and slapping them and acting bad. If you just discipline them and do what God told you to do, it would work out because the law of the Lord is perfect because you cannot come up with better ideas than God. So you know, I realize that when they're at your house, there's bedtimes and there's discipline and there's church, and when they're at the other person's house, it's party, it's unlimited access to anything on the Internet, unlimited access to anything on TV. You know, no rules apply, no church, and that makes you feel like, oh, you know, my kids are going to... Just put that out of your mind and just say, I'm going to trust God and I'm going to commit to what God has called me to do. And it'll work out. And it'll work out. You know, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he shall not depart from him. You know, and I just believe that God's going to work. And I'm not saying that kids can't go wayward, but I'm just telling you that you should do what God has called you to do. So I would advise blended families, you know, discipline your children, even if your ex, you know, your ex-husband, your ex-wife, even if that spouse spoils them and doesn't follow those things. But here's the other advice that I would give to blended families. Go to Genesis chapter number 37. Genesis chapter number 37. The first book in the Bible should be fairly easy to find. Genesis chapter number 37. And look at verse 3. Now, in Genesis 37, we're actually looking at a blended family because you've got children being raised in a home where they're not all the children of the same mother. You know, and in Genesis 37 and verse 3, the Bible says this, Now Israel, that's Jacob, the man Jacob, notice what the Bible says here, loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age and he made him a coat of many colors. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaceably unto him. Now, again, we're using this as an illustration because Jacob is all of these children's father. But here's the advice I want to give to blended families is don't play favorites. Don't play favorites. Because here's what ends up happening sometimes. It's like I've got the children that are, you know, these children are both from both parents and then there's these children that are just from my wife or these children that are just from my husband. But then you've got these children that are from both of us and it becomes this class thing where there's favorites. And listen to me very carefully. Don't play favorites. When you chose to marry someone with children, you married those children. Do you understand what I just said? When you chose to marry someone with children, you married those children. And, you know, my wife, I asked my wife if I could use this this morning, you know, this illustration, and she gave me permission. But my wife was raised in a blended family. She was raised in a family where she was basically raised by her stepfather. And, you know, her father left when she was a child and she's maybe seen him a handful of times her whole life and he never had anything to do with her. And she was raised by a stepfather her whole life. And, you know, her stepfather, there was one time when she was a young girl, and this was done in anger and obviously we say things in anger that we don't mean. But, you know, it's something that hurt her and that even to today she remembers. But there was a time when her and her siblings were being bad or whatever and her stepfather in anger, you know, said, you know, I'm sick and tired of having to deal, you know, I have to deal with you kids more than I have to deal with my own kids. You know, because his kids were being raised somewhere else by somebody else's father. You know, and the thought that my wife had at the time, you know, as a little child was I didn't sign up for this. I didn't ask to be raised by someone who's not my father. I didn't ask for my father to not raise me or to not know my dad. You know, you married my mom and I'm just here along for the ride. So, you know, so you need to understand that, look, when you choose to marry someone that they have children, that's why the advice I gave to single moms is don't be dating like you're some single lady without children. Those children need to be a part of that decision and that blending of that family because those kids are just along for the ride. And, look, you're the adult that chose to marry that lady with children or that chose to marry that husband with children and you didn't choose to marry just her. You chose to marry her or him with those kids and you chose to marry those kids. So don't make them feel like they're some sort of a second-class citizen or, you know, like they're not, you know, because here's the thing. They didn't stand at that altar and say, I do. You didn't propose to them. They didn't go on dates with you. They're just along for the ride because you chose their mom or you chose their father. So just realize, you know, don't play favorites when it comes to raising children because when you married someone with children, you married their children. Now let's shift gears a little bit. What would you say? What's the advice that I would give to the children in a blended family? Go to Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter number 6. Ephesians chapter 6 and look at verse 1. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 1. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, 1st, 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians. Ephesians chapter 6, verse 1. The Bible says this. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise. Notice what the Bible says in verse 3. That it may be well with thee. Why does God tell children to honor their parents not for the sake of their parents but for themselves? That it will be well with thee that thou mayest live long on the earth. And let me say this. Just because someone physically gave birth to you doesn't make them your father. Being a father and having children are two different things. And look, someone could raise you and provide for you and love you and not be genetically related to you, but that makes them your father. And look, by the way, we were adopted into the family of God. And he provides for us and he loves us and he doesn't treat us like second-class citizens. He treats us just like he loves his only begotten son, the Lord Jesus Christ. But here's the advice I would give to children. Because here's what my wife has said to me many times in her... Even though there was a time when that statement was made, and obviously it was in anger and whatever, and as a child it hurts, and even now she remembers it in her 30s. But something that she was always thankful for, she was thankful that there was a man that was providing for her needs that wasn't her father. Because her father wasn't in the picture and she didn't know her father. And she met him as a teenager and only seen him a couple of times in her whole life. He's just a loser or whatever. And there was a man there who didn't have to provide for her, who didn't have to pay for her needs, who didn't have to pay for her to be in cheerleading or whatever. We're not condoning cheerleading as just what she did when she was a teenager and not saved. Who met her needs. So I'm just trying to say, you need to understand from both sides. As the adult realizes the kids are just along for the ride, they didn't make the choice. So don't treat them like second-class citizens. But you know, on the children's side, if you're in that situation, you ought to be thankful that someone who doesn't have to pay your bills, who doesn't have to get your clothes, but they are there and they're taking care of your needs, maybe even if your own physical father isn't. Do you understand what I'm saying? From both sides, the children should be thankful that, wow, this isn't my mother, but yet she cares for me like my mother. Or this isn't my father, but yet they care for me as my father. And they should be thankful and respectful and not be biting the hand that feeds them. You've got one individual who's taking care of all their needs, and they're like, but you're not my dad. Where was your dad? Don't have that bad attitude. But on the other end, don't make the kids the second-class citizens because they're just along for the ride. They didn't make those decisions. They didn't make those choices. You didn't propose to them. You proposed to their parent, and they're just along for the ride. So the advice that I would give London families is, parents, discipline your children, whether the ex does or not, and don't play favorites. And then the advice I would give to children is honor and respect and be thankful for anyone who invests in your life when they didn't have to because they didn't have to. And if they're doing it, then you ought to be thankful for that. You ought to thank the Lord that someone is doing that on your behalf. I gave advice for single moms. I gave advice for families. Let me shift gears one more time, and let me give you two things of advice for traditional families. For traditional families. Go to the book of Luke, Luke chapter number 7. Matthew, Mark, Luke, Luke chapter 7. When I'm talking about traditional families, what am I talking about? I'm talking about a family where there's a husband or a wife. They've only ever been married to each other, and all of their children belong to both. That's a traditional family in the scripture. That's what I'm referring to. Say, what do you want to say to traditional families? Well, here's what I'd like you to understand, and here's a tip that I want to give you. Don't look down on people who don't have traditional homes. Don't look down on people because they are a single mother or because they are divorced or because they have some history. Do not develop this holier-than-thou attitude because what we never made that mistake, that you're somehow better than them. In Luke chapter 7 and verse 31, you have the Lord Jesus Christ, and he's speaking to some of the complaints about his and John the Baptist's ministry. And here's the thing. When you lead ministries, you're just going to have people constantly criticizing you. And in Luke 7, 31, the Bible says this, And the Lord said, Whereunto then shall I liken the men of this generation? To what are they like? They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace and calling one to another and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced. We have mourned to you, and ye have not wept. Now notice what Jesus, he begins to deal with some of the criticism going to him and to John. He says, For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and ye say he hath a devil. So he says, Look, John the Baptist came. He was not eating bread. He was not drinking wine. He was being a separatist. He was being a hard preacher. He was being out in the wilderness. You come out to me. It's going to be rough. It's going to be hard. And he says, You know what they said about him? They say, He hath a devil. And then Jesus says this in verse 34, The son of man, he says, Me, on the other hand, is come eating and drinking. And ye say, Behold, a gluttonous man and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. You know, here's what he's saying. He's saying, You can't win. When John comes all, you know, in the wilderness, you know, eating locusts and, you know, and honey and just being all separated, they say, That guy has a devil. When Jesus comes and he's in the city and he's with the people and he's fellowshipping with them and he's had, then they say, Oh, he's a gluttonous man and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. And you know, what I've noticed in leadership is that that's always the case. You know, somebody criticizes me or lies about me and, you know, it spreads or whatever, and I deal with it publicly because, you know, it's a public thing, and then people will say like, Well, I don't think you should have dealt with it. But then someone else does it, and I just choose to ignore it, and then people are like, Whoa, he's not dealing with this, so he must be guilty. And it's like, You can't win. You know, you can't win either way. Like, it doesn't matter what you do. People are always going to find something to criticize you for. You're not doing it right. You know, and listen to me. You know, be careful about, you know, at work, at church. You know, you got these guys, they never built a doghouse, but they want to tell you how, you know, how their boss is building the business wrong or how, you know, a pastor is running the church wrong. You know, never built anything in your life. But that's Jesus, what he's talking about. He's talking about this criticism. But I want you to notice what they said about Jesus. They said, He is a gluttonous man and a wine-bibber. Notice what they said. By Jesus' own admission, He said, This is what people are saying about me. They say that I am a friend of publicans and sinners. And listen to me very carefully. People that were not like Jesus liked Jesus. Do you understand what I just said? Jesus was the most holy and righteous man that ever lived. But the publicans and the harlots and the sinners and the gluttons and the wine-bibbers were drawn to Him. While the religious Pharisees despised Him. What's interesting about Jesus is that people that were not like Jesus liked Jesus. You know, our problem is we usually only like the people that are like us. We usually only want to fellowship with people that are like us. We think we got it all put together, so we're only going to fellowship with the people that got it all put together. Well, I'm not going to talk with them because, you know, they don't even have a man living in that home. I'm not going to, you know, they're divorced and they're remarried and their kids don't look all the same like my kids do. You know what? People who were not like Jesus liked Jesus. And Jesus was not just looking to find people that were just like Him. He was around people that had paths. Remember the woman at the well? You know, she told him, I've been divorced three times and the man I'm with, I'm not even married to him. I'm living in fornication. But you know what? He loved her and He ministered to her and He gave her the gospel. I'm just here to tell you people that were not like Jesus liked Jesus. And we're not doing Christianity right when we only get along with people that are just like us. James chapter 1, look at verse 27. James chapter 1, verse 27. And you know what? Let me say this. You know, there's a quote, this is not in the Bible, but there's a famous quote that says, There but for the grace of God go I. And you know, just realize that any blessing that comes in your life is because of the grace of God. And you could have very well been that single mom. You could have very well been raised in that home where maybe you weren't taught certain things. You could have very well married that reprobate, that psychopath that's charming and deceiving. You know, there but for the grace of God go I. So before you get on your high horse, you know, realize that we're all, you know, you go to James chapter 1. Galatians 6, 1 says, Brethren, if a man be overtaken and fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. You know, you ought to be merciful to people and love people and try to restore people. You say, why? Why should I do that? Because you could be that person one day who needs mercy, who needs grace, who needs people to love you, who needs people to restore you. You know, so before you get all high and mighty, just realize, you know, there but for the grace go I. And I realize that's not a biblical phrase, but, you know, it fits. James chapter 1, if you start the book of Revelation, you head backwards. You got Jude, 3rd, 2nd, and 1st Peter, James. Let me say this. Here's the advice I have for traditional families. You're here. You've not had divorce. You don't have stepchildren. You are the traditional family. Here's the advice I have for you. Number one, don't look down on people who don't have traditional homes, but number two, if there is anyone, if there is anyone that you should reach out to, it's to those who don't have traditional homes. Because, you know, we only want to fellowship and reach out to people that are just like us. But look, if there's a child in this church that has a mom, that has a dad, that love each other, that are at home, they have a father that's providing for them, and there's another child in this church that maybe dad is absent like Timothy, dad is not there, dad is not providing. You know, if you have to choose one, if there's anyone that you should be investing and reaching out to, it's the broken homes. So prove that from the Bible. Okay, James 1, verse 27. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless, to visit the fatherless and widows and their affliction and to keep himself and his father from the world. See, we only want to hang out and fellowship with people that are just like us. My marriage is good, so I'm only gonna fellowship with people that have good marriages. You know, my children have father and mother at home, so I'm only gonna fellowship with people that have father and mother. That family, you know, they look like they were divorced, or that family, I don't know where dad is, or that family, and we choose to separate ourselves from people that are not like us. But I'm telling you, that's not Christianity because people that were not like Jesus, like Jesus. And he actually chose to reach out to those that were hurting and to those that maybe needed. You know, Paul chose to reach out to Timothy. Paul chose to invest into a young boy that dad was absent and dad wasn't there. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows. If there's anyone that we should be reaching out to, if there's anyone that we should be involving, if there's anyone that we should be including, if there's anyone that as a traditional family we should be fellowshipping with, is people that are not like us. Because that's what the Lord Jesus Christ would do, did do, and that's what we all should do. I'm not telling you, you know, it's wrong for you to have friends. Obviously, we all have friends that are like us, but look, you should be looking, you should be looking to minister to people that are not like you, that are fatherless, that need help, that are less fortunate than you. That's actually Christianity. Now next week, next week we're gonna finish up this series with the sermon on the subject on advice for singles and dating couples. Advice for singles and dating couples. And here's the thing, you may know someone who's a single, who's dating, who's engaged, who would need a sermon like that, you know, invite them to church next week. Bring them with you. And maybe you're not in that state, but you know, you have children that one day will be in that state, or you have grandchildren that one day will be in that state. So I'd encourage you to be here next week as we leverage some biblical principles for singles and for married couples, for dating couples, excuse me, let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.