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Alright we started there in first Timothy chapter 3 We're actually gonna have you put a bookmark there real quick and flip back to Genesis Genesis chapter 3 and I'm preaching a sermon tonight. It's called be a man not a male Be a man Not a male obviously this is directed towards men The reason why I say be a man not a male is because you know first of all there's only two genders That exist in the world You have male and female that's right right, and you're born one or the other you're born either male or female The problem with our culture though is that we got a lot of males But not a lot of men Got males and not a lot of men, and I've been preaching. I've been hitting on us a little bit recently You know Regarding marriage and authority structure and things like that with women and men and we're going to be going over that again Today, and it's really important to go over this stuff in our society because it's been just turned on its head and so backwards Yeah, okay, and the whole purpose is because this is coming straight out of the Bible This is the light that shines from the Word of God Showing us how we ought to behave and it doesn't get more basic than men and women Right I mean a man should be a man and a woman should be a woman and God has designed them differently has Created them differently for different purposes different job functions And you know if you're going to be happy in your life You're gonna be happy in your marriage, then you ought to try your best to fit the mold that God created you in If you made you to be a male be a man All right, you don't want to try to identify as something else Don't try to identify some other part of creation. You're not a cat. You're not a dog. You're not a woman. Okay. You're a man and Vice versa right you create you as a woman, and you know as a man you should try to be masculine Masculine I know this is look. We're getting real complicated tonight. Try to stay with me okay and in women You should try to be feminine right that which pertains to females I Preach a sermon years ago at word of truth is called. I am a feminist Why I am a feminist, and I am a feminist if you define it as Women who act like females. I love it when women act like females, and they have feminine qualities, and they and they have godly feminine Attributes I am all for that I am NOT a Masculist where I try to make women more like men I want women to be like women and Men to be like men the way that God made everything Now one of the things that you have to understand as a man is your role That God has created not me Not anyone else, but God has created a role for men and women and specifically here We're going to see with husbands and wives and it goes all the way back to the first Man and woman to walk the earth Adam and Eve Okay All the way back to creation. This is how God made things and it hasn't changed Changed Genesis 3 16 okay, this is what happened as a result of sin We don't know exactly how God had a plan For child rearing and things like that prior to sin But doesn't matter because we're not living in that time We're not Adam and Eve Don't know what his plan was But from Genesis 3 16 on this has been the plan until we get new bodies When we have glorified bodies then that'll change again, okay, but in the meantime we've got bodies of flesh on this earth Men and women this is how God made it look at verse number 16 the Bible says unto the woman He said I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children And I desire shall be to thy husband And he shall rule over thee But you don't have to like it you could blame Eve for it but God Commanded that the result of that sin one of the things is that your husband is going to rule over you now The result of that sin and that's where it comes from but but all throughout scripture It's consistent that men are put in an authority role Men are in the job of leadership in the home Okay the husband is the head of the home going all the way back to Genesis 3 16 where God says You know what? Your husband's gonna rule over you and this didn't just apply to Eve It applied to all of womankind Just like Adams You know punishment by the sweat of your brow. You're gonna work right now You're gonna have to toil and labor and do everything to provide You Still got to do that men Okay, and that's that's getting into Part of being a man as well as dealing with being the provider and being the authority in the house But just to continue with this one point Flip back to 1st Timothy chapter 3 where we started 1st Corinthians 11 3 says but I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman Is the man and the head of Christ is God Again another reference to the head of the woman being the man the man is the figure that's in authority. That's in charge. I Know we have a society and a culture that tells you That you have to do things and it's basically you each have a vote and that you know No one really has more authority than the other person in the home, but that's simply not true according to God given rights God has given us You know particular rights and in particular realms of authority and where we need to be but You know the world's gonna tell you something different we started in 1st Timothy chapter 3 and we're gonna look through some of these attributes or these rules regarding Pastors and deacons But again, it's gonna tell us the same exact thing. You say well, I'm not a pastor. I'm not a deacon The rules that apply to pastors and deacons. It's just it's it's the same attributes that everybody ought to have It's just hey, if you don't have these things you can't be in that position But really everybody should strive to fit this mold in this model of at least being able to fill that role First Timothy chapter 3 verse number 4 the Bible reads one that ruleth well his own house is talking about someone who wants to be a bishop He has to rule his own house Well having his children in subjection with all gravity for if a man know not how to rule his own house How shall he take care of the Church of God? So in order to take care of the Church of God You need to be able to rule well in your house over and over every seen a consistent theme here He's gonna rule over thee I have the woman know that the head of every man's Christ the head of the woman is the man You know one that ruleth well his own house First Timothy 3 12 then for the deacons that the deacons be the husband's of one wife ruling their children in their own houses well It is God's authority structure to put the man in authority at home period that is indisputable in Scripture The Bible says in Isaiah 3 that when women are ruling over you basically it's a curse Isaiah 3 12 says as for my people children are their oppressors Right I mean I mean how backwards is that when children are oppressing you right as an adult as an elder whatever when you have Children oppressing you that's backwards. That's not the way things are supposed to be that's the world turned on its head It says children are the presses and women rule over them Oh my people they which lead thee cause thee to err and destroy the way of thy paths And who's who's leading them the women women ruling over that's backwards It's not the way God designed it That's the way things are going today Okay, but that's not the way that God intended it And I'll tell you what that's why I don't care how Libertarian or Republican or whatever you follow for your political ideology I'm not gonna vote any women in the office To have that position of authority over the man because that's not what God intended for them to do this how God made women It's not because I think women are stupid It's not because I don't think women aren't capable of doing things. I just think that God didn't design them to be a net roll and As we're gonna see turn to 1st Timothy chapter 2 we're in chapter 3 This is consistent throughout Scripture, and if you think that this is some anti woman sermon You don't understand the Bible Because the Bible is not anti woman no It's anti making women men and making men women, but it's not anti woman The Bible says that we're supposed to give honor unto the woman as unto the weaker vessel That men ought to love their wives as their own self as their own body That that is a husband's job. It's not demeaning or Demoralizing to say this is not what God made you to do There's nothing wrong with that. It's just the fact that people just don't like being called. Oh, there's something I can't do I want to do that then Well don't have that spoiled brat attitude with God because you're gonna be the one that ends up miserable You're Not gonna do anything against God You're just gonna make yourself and everyone around you miserable trying to do things that God didn't intend for you to do And this isn't You know everyone's gonna be able to benefit from the sermon men and women even though title is be a man not a male But I'm preaching so hard on this and trying to drive this point home because men do need to understand That you have God-given authority in your home And at the end of the day You are responsible for how your family operates The problem see everyone thinks like oh man men have it so great there You know they're the ones they're in charge, and they have all this authority. You know what though? with with the great authority comes great responsibility and You're the one that has your neck on the line for your whole family So it's not just oh man everything's great. I'm king and everyone that says to serve me and everything else Hey when there's a problem with your family You're responsible It is a burden to bear Because God's gonna hold you accountable for how your wife behaves How your family behaves how your children behave because you are the one at the top in the family? And it makes sense to I maybe think about it from like a business perspective or anything else at the end of it Yeah, obviously people could all have their own sin in their own problems but ultimately Who does the responsibility of you know the people who are at the top in charge? Bear the most responsibility for everything being done beneath them, that's right Just the way it works brother Peter your job You got a problem with an employee at work Who they're gonna turn to? They're gonna turn to you to fix the problem to take care of the problem to deal with it and if things just aren't if you go to your job and Nothing's being done the way it's supposed to be done Are they gonna be more likely to fire everybody beneath you or fire you? You're responsible right, right It's accountability and men to be a man You have to take on that accountability for your family and treat it Seriously and not be flippant about it It's not enough just to be you know the head of the house in title only You need to take ownership of that role Now you need to do so rightly appropriately and and you know I don't think it's The best idea for you to just become this you know You know this authoritarian dictator the way that a lot of people would have in their minds like this Hitler at home, right? Now you may have the authority to do so from scripture You do Okay, because the way that the Bible talks about the submission of the wife to the husband should be in everything and the only higher authority would be You know God himself Meaning that Women have to obey God rather than man. Just like everyone else does But in any area where the husband's not making you break God's commands You foot that falls under their their scope of authority, right so That's the way it plays out in Scripture, but men you know you need to Take that role Seriously the Bible says in 1st Timothy chapter 2 verse number 8. I will therefore that men pray everywhere lifting up holy hands without wrath and doubting so This is also a balance anyways of God God wants men to pray everywhere It's not Unmanly to pray it's not something that that you know and and we'll get into this a little bit more You know one of one of the attributes that the Bible defines about men is being strong and having strength But it is not a sign of weakness to pray to the Lord It's actually strength and it's gonna be spiritual strength And it's gonna be strength that you can help provide for your family if you've got the strength of God that you're asking for on your family That's way stronger than you can ever be If you're asking for his guidance his power his help On things in your life and in your family's life you better believe you ought to be praying And it's not weakness its humility But that's the first part there about men praying everywhere look at verse number 9 says in like manner also that women adorn themselves in modest apparel With shame face and insincere bridey not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly way But which become at the women for this professing godliness with good works let the woman learn in silence with all subjection But I suffer not a woman to teach Nor do you serve authority over the man, but to be in silence so again? There's this reference to the authority being with the man and that women aren't supposed to usurp or take over that authority from the man Unrightfully so because the man is the one that has the authority and the Bible also states elsewhere And we've gone over this before that the woman is supposed to learn in 1st Corinthians chapter 14 I don't think I have it in my notes today, or maybe I do yeah, we'll get to that later Asking her husband at home all right, but we'll get to that a little bit later So all of this scripture, right We go over this to just demonstrate How God is structured Especially you know definitely the home husbands wives relationships, and there's no doubt about it that men are to be in authority at home and It's not just a title When you're the authority in the home you need to be the authority in the home And Use that responsibly, but you still are the authority at home And you and look if it's not the way things have been if it's not the way that Things have gone for a long time and you've been used to doing things a certain way Or you haven't really acted as the authority If you want to get right with God you better start being the authority and it just means some changes Empowered being the authority means you make decisions Okay, and this and look this needs to be taught on men being more man like and power be a man is making decisions and Understand you're not always going to make the right decision every single time and women have to understand that too But God has made the man to be in charge and to make the decisions at home and As a man I understand this because I could get lazy too and just say well I don't really care whatever and just kind of just say blow it off and just say whatever to everything Your wife's trying to figure out well, what should we do here? What should we do there? Whatever? I don't care be careful of that Be careful of that of doing that too much Obviously, there's some little minor things where it's not that big of a deal It doesn't mean you're not running your house right over the smallest minutia but be careful of allowing that to just You're not making any decisions for the home As you're just like I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. Just make the decisions if you don't care then just make one And If your wife's asking you right, hopefully she's not asking you just to condemn you for making the wrong decision She's asking you for a reason, right? Just make the decision Go with it be the authority in the house Just just start doing it Matthew chapter 4 through to Matthew chapter 4. I just want to point something out to you real quick here We know that Peter the Apostle Peter in Scripture that he was married he had a wife Right. We see the story of when it says that Peter's wife's mother laid six sick of a fever right and Jesus healed her so that the fever left her but that shows that he was married he had a wife and Man, if you want to be a man in your home Okay, you make the decisions of what you're gonna do and You don't need to go and ask your wife permission to do stuff and debt sure when it comes to serving the Lord When when Jesus Said to Peter and Andrew Hey follow me and I'll make you fishers of men as you see here in Matthew 4 18 You know, you know what's missing from the story where Peter said wait, hold on a second Jesus I need to go home and ask my wife first I Met before 18 and Jesus walked by the Sea of Galilee saw two brethren Simon called Peter and Andrew his brother casting an end in The sea but they were fishers and he said unto them Follow me and I will make you fishers of men and they straightway left their nets and followed him But if I just leave my job my wife's gonna be mad at me I can't just stop working and go off and follow Jesus What would she say? I Is the right thing to do we're gonna do it I'm gonna do this It's being a man at home now look it's not to be Insensitive to the wife, but there's some things that when it's the right thing to do. You just need to do it Okay, and you don't ask for permission. There's nothing wrong with keeping your wife informed on everything that's going on and Showing respect in that sense of going. Okay. Well, hey, here's what's going on. Here's the plan. Here's what we're doing But this is an important part of marriage that everyone needs to understand women and men That the wife is supposed to be the man's helper and not the other way around Because when you go back to creation again in turn if you would to Genesis chapter 2 We're gonna see that God made the woman When he created woman it wasn't So the man can serve the woman Is the other way around The 1st Corinthians 11 8 the Bible says for the man is not of the woman but the woman of the man Neither was the man created for the woman but the woman for the man The woman was created for the man That was that's why she was created in the beginning and to begin with was to be created for the man and again, this isn't to be Meaning and it's not if you have the right biblical perspective on this and God's view on it God doesn't love men more than he loves women God just gave him different roles He created man in his own image And then he created woman to be with the man and to help the man and that you know The two that are joined together and become one flesh as husband and wife Can then I believe end up doing so much more for the Lord as as one and You need to if you're gonna if you're gonna have families and and reproduce and bear fruit One person can't do it alone You need help And especially if it's gonna be done, right Someone Needs to raise children and someone needs to work and provide You can't do it all You can't be you can't be raising Men can't be raising a one-year-old that can't do anything for itself and be out in the field Toiling and working and bringing in and reaping and you know and doing what you need to do because of Florida support a family Can't do it And vice versa God had a great design from the beginning. Look at Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 The Bible says in the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help meet for him now meet means suitable because I'm gonna make a Helper that's suitable for Adam because it's not good that he's just here by himself. He needs someone to be with them He needs a helper So this is when the beast started be creating right He's just brings these beasts before Adam saying okay in verse 19 and out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would Call them and who so and whatsoever Adam called every living creature. That was the name thereof So he starts naming all the animals verse 20 says an Adam gave names to all cattle and follow the air and every beast of The field but for Adam there was not found and help meet for him So none of the animals and God's creation is suitable to be a partner For for Adam the closest thing might be the dog, you know man's best friend But it's still not quite the right helper that God had in mind For Adam to really be that that lifelong partner that that a man needs to have And then it says verse 21 and Lord God and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh and said thereof and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man and Adam said this now bone of my bones and Flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man therefore shall a man cleave his father and his Excuse me, shall man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh That was the appropriate perfect help meet for Adam suitable forum Fits together great man and woman that is the ideal partnership that God has created but Don't forget like I said in 1st Corinthians 11, you know that the woman was created for the man There is a job that God has given unto men that women need to help with for example, I would never be able to Do even everything I do here at church all by myself without my wife helping She doesn't have an official role in the church But she supports me in order for me to do this work and I believe that's one of the reasons Even though it's not specifically mentioned as to why the you know The the the elder the bishop needs to be the husband of one wife One of the things that you get is you got to be able to demonstrate that you could run your house If you can't run your house can't really house. Well, you can't you can't you know, how are you gonna be able to run a church? But also there's so much work involved in running a church, you know, I need help Just like I need help. There's a lot of work involved in raising a family And providing for a family you need help with that And there's nothing wrong with being in the role of a helper And think about that for a minute too, even though I wasn't even gonna go into this But you know for the people that just are bristling and hating every word that's coming out of my mouth about women's roles View the woman as someone who's ministering or serving her husband What did Jesus come to do He came as a servant he came in the form of a servant. He came to minister unto other people Don't tell me that you're too good to have a job and have a role of serving and ministering But it wasn't too good for Jesus right he wasn't too good for it if he could do it Can you humble yourself to do it? If the Lord God humbled himself Enough to become a man and become obedient unto death even the death of the cross Can you humble yourself to be obedient unto your husband? Is it really that bad? Or you can take the right attitude and approach and say you know what instead of being bitter about this I'll embrace it and actually get joy From serving someone that I love anyways, I mean you should love your spouse you chose to marry him Right you love them right don't you want to help them out and do what's best for them? Oh? That's such a horrible thing People just hear it. It just sounds so bad, but it's like Don't you love your husband? Don't you want to help him out and what he's doing? Why would that sound so weird and bizarre? And The same thing you know from the husband You love your wife. Don't you? Yeah, you're an authority, but I mean don't you love your wife? So the decisions that you make ought to reflect Your love for your spouse You should be doing things with her in mind And women need to trust their husbands to make those decisions Because that's the role that God has put them in And even personal things you know I've talked with my wife about this quite a while in the back and in the I don't Know a long time ago, but just in general when it comes even to health issues, right? It's like yes. I know this is real personal. This is your body or whatever right like we're talking about health decisions But the husband has the authority over everything and sometimes it'd be hard because that's so dear and close to you But you have to get to the point where I understand you know my husband loves me like I don't want my wife gone I want her there with me fully functioning the best I care about her health probably even more than my own and That's the love that a husband ought to have for their wife where you love them that much I mean you care about them more than yourself. It's a self-sacrificial love. That's what Ephesians 5 teaches For men to have that love for their wife. They're willing to give themselves for just as Christ is willing to give himself for the church So when you have a husband and wife in their proper roles Hey everything can work out great and can really come together Synergistically where everybody is being blessed being in their role because when the wife is supporting the husband being obedient You don't have as much conflict things can move ahead and you can get the best out of the husband in his role in his job and making him be able to produce a get yo that much more efficiently because the the wife is helping out at the same token then the husband's loving the wife and doing things that reflect that love so that the wife has no reason not to Just be obedient submissive anyways because she can see her husband's taking care of her her husband loves her He's doing you know when you've got that going on between both parties That's a blessed marriage Now obviously nobody's perfect Everybody falls short everybody gets in the flesh everybody ends up doing things outside of their roles Okay, but that's why we're preaching on this We could try to do better right so that everyone and specifically in this sermon It's it's still it may not sound that way, but it is more geared for men Because no matter what and this is a born point to I've gone over this many times in the past But no matter what your spouse does What's right for you from God and the role that he gave you is still right for you from God? So What I mean by that is Husbands you have the authority you're in charge, and you're responsible for your family say, but my wife's not being obedient She's not being submissive as the Bible says You still have to love her You saw the lover like Christ loved the church That's still your job. That's still what the Bible says for you. No matter how disobedient no matter how much your wife is is you know? Against you even if that's if that's the case That doesn't change. What's right for you in God's eyes and vice-versa Well my husband is a total loser and he doesn't do anything and he doesn't lady doesn't even have a job and he just sits at home and Smokes pot and drinks beer and what at right? That doesn't change the role that God gave you either It Really doesn't it might it's gonna make things a lot more difficult for you at home when someone's just really out of balance with their Role it makes things difficult no doubt about it, but it doesn't change your role But I'll submit this to you also is that the the more you can try to fit your role The more you'll end up helping your spouse fill their role The more submissive that women can become to their husbands The more it's gonna help your husband be a leader and make decisions when you stop doing those things and kind of help them to make the decisions and vice-versa when a husband can fill his role a little bit better of Loving his wife and being the authority. It's gonna help the wife find her role of being submission submissive as well Okay, so both sides need to be You need to do what you are supposed to do according to the Bible according to God, right? You're in Genesis to flip over to Genesis 18, we're gonna see a good example here of Abraham Being a man Okay And Abraham just being this model example of a godly man in the home Genesis 18 we're sorry in verse number one Bob reason the Lord appeared unto him in the plains of mammary and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day And he lift up his eyes and looked and lo three men Stood by him and when he saw them he ran to meet them From the tent door and bowed himself toward the ground and said my lord If now I have found favor in thy sight pass that away. I pray thee from thy servant So here we see first of all that Abraham is a humble man He's a hospitable man. He's caring about people and he's and he's willing to serve He's willing to minister, but you know what Abraham is still a man Abraham's no wimp Remember when when lot got in trouble and and got carried away captive Remember how Abraham is the one who got his house in order? He got his house together with like 300 people and destroyed these, you know Rescued lots from the the five kings that had won the battle against the four kings right like Beats his army with 300 people and is able to rescue lot. He wasn't a wimp Yeah He's a tough guy But you know what you could be a tough guy and still be humble and still treat people with respect and treat people with hospitality That doesn't make you any less of a man And we see here these strangers these visitors that are passing by they're traveling he's probably out You know in the middle of nowhere or whatever and he's going okay. Hey great. Here's someone, you know, come on in Let me take care of you. Let me give you something to eat verse number Four says let a little water I pray you be fetched and wash your feet and rest yourselves under the tree and I will fetch a morsel of bread And comfort you your hearts After that you shall pass on for therefore you come to your servant and they said so do as thou has said Right, you're saying? Okay, great. Yeah, we'll we'll we'll do that. We'll take a break And look what abraham does verse six says and abraham hastened into the tent unto sarah and said make ready quickly three measures of fine meal Need it and make cakes upon the hearth He goes in and commands his wife to make a meal hey, we've got guests make a meal We don't see sarah going but i'm right in the middle of something right now you're just gonna your friends are gonna have to wait We also don't see him tiptoeing in there and going, uh, excuse me Would it be okay There's a couple people out front I think they're a little hungry do you think you could make something for him? It's okay if you don't No He goes into the tent. He says make ready quickly three measures of meal. Okay. Now he's not being a jerk about it He's just being direct Yeah, he's just he's just saying hey, this is what we need done. Okay, make this food. We've got company. We've got guests You make this food and then he goes off and does his own thing. I mean he goes and kills the kid He's off on the grill On the barbecue and and you know his wife's preparing the rest of the food So they ran under the herd and fetched a calf tender and good and gave it unto a young man and he hated to dress It so they're working together But he's in charge and he's saying you do this i'm going to do this and we're going to be hospitable To these people that have come into our presence. Amen. That's good That is a godly man That is a real man And then of course he gives it to them and he stands by them while they eat And he's just being a good proper host Jump down to verse number 19 and we see where god gives abraham basically the same credit About being a good man a good husband a good father when it comes to ruling his house As men are commanded to do verse number 19 Buzzes for I know him. This is when god's deciding whether or not he's going to let abraham know What's going to happen because genesis 18 is right before jesus 19. Just 19 God destroyed salami more with fire and brimstone out of heaven and 18 He runs into abraham first as they're on their way there to to basically save lot Again lot needs rescuing so go to save lot because he's around all these stinking sodomites Which is a whole nother sermon in and of itself You're putting yourself a lot of danger when you decide to live in sodom And you find yourself needing to be just bailed out every time But i'm not going to go down that path today verse number 19 Well says for I know him That he will command his children in his household after him. He will command His children in his household after him and they shall keep the way of the lord to do justice And judgment that the lord may bring upon abraham that which he had spoken of him because you know what I know I know my servant abraham He's a manly man, he's a godly man He's gonna he's gonna instruct his house and he's gonna command his house and they're gonna serve the lord even when he's gone He was the right leader He wasn't just taking a title and just saying oh you just have to respect, you know He walked it he lived it he commanded and he commanded with authority and man if you want to be a good leader in the home One you got to lead by example And two you got to have integrity and you got to be you know The type of leader that people are going to want to follow Right. So if it's all just about me me me me me That's gonna get old pretty quick and you know what it's not supposed to be about you you you you For any christian for that matter We need to have a mindset that's focused on other people anyways But your job is to effectively do that in your house Say how is my house going to be the ideal christian home? Well one we need to serve the lord Right. You want to be a godly man. You want to be a godly husband. You want to be a godly father? You better start making sure and and and tightening up the ship at home To make sure one you're in obedience with the lord in general on things inside your house And you know what that might mean you have to do it might mean you have to clean the ship You have to clean the house a little bit You might have to walk through the house and start saying What is this wicked piece of trash It's not going to be in this household Right You got pieces of idolatry laying around you've got smut in the form of you know The world's garbage that they're trying to cram down your throat in the house You might just have to go through and say this isn't going to belong. This does not belong in my house. This is gone Whatever the case may be whatever needs to be done. Hey men, you're responsible for that You are So And you know what god's given you that authority to draw the line on too now he's given he's given us his commandments He hasn't left you without instruction on how to do things But it's there for you to follow and you to determine what's right and what's wrong And that goes even for anything that's preached from this pulpit Man, it's your job to decide What's right and what's wrong? Yeah, it's not my job to decide it for you I'm not going to go into your house And tell you what to do and and you get rid of you know You'll never find me doing that Because that's every man's job in that household to do that it's not my job I'm going to do my best trying to instruct you and teach you and say hey This is what the bible says what scripture says you do with it what you will But man, it's your job to be that authority in the home no one else's So And it's not just making the decisions of like What house we're going to buy or things we're going to get or whatever, right? The more important area that you need to make sure that you're ruling well is the spiritual side of things in the house That is the most important thing. I mean everything Falls under your authority and ought to be taken under your authority to to make decisions on but Just as you have the you know, the the responsibility For your family and how things are turning out. You know what at the end of the day too Even with with children being raised and stuff Guess who's responsible now now, obviously god also puts a lot of of Responsibility on the woman Because their job is to rear the children, but you know what who also is responsible. It's still the man at the end of the day Even if your wife is is dropping the ball on raising the children the way they're supposed to be raised Hey, that's your job to manage your wife To to raise them, right? It's a lot it's a big burden, but you need to figure out how you're going to make it work Okay Being the spiritual authority is found in first corinthians chapter 14 We're again I think I read this verse recently a week or two ago Uh verse number 34 the bible reads let your women keep silence in the churches for it is not permitted unto them to speak They are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law And if they will learn anything let them ask their husbands at home for it is a shame for women to speak in the church So it's not the woman's job in the middle of church is really like wait Can you explain that to me or just start asking questions or you know throwing out the amens and stuff? But if you want to learn something that's you know, what's your husband's job husbands teach your wives God's given you that responsibility to do that That's your role and if you're You know don't have a lot of knowledge You don't have a lot of wisdom especially in the things of god and things of the bible Get it Because it's still your job. Amen. Your job hasn't changed. Yeah, that's right Seek it out make it a priority So that you can rule well spiritually in the house so that when your wife comes to you with questions You're not just going I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know If god's saying if the bible's saying hey, this is where the wife is supposed to go to You make sure you can handle that Now obviously no one's gonna have all the answers everything But you gotta take that as your responsibility to be that spiritual leader in the home and to guide your wife and to guide your family And to make sure that you are ultimately teaching them because you're also responsible for that And it's not enough just to rely on pastor of a church in your home Because your pastor church isn't in your home It shouldn't be in your home It would be in their home dealing with their family And you know You can confirm or not what's being preached at church Right. It's your job to say with your family if there's anything that I preach that's wrong. You say well Passive versions taught this but that's not what we believe here Hopefully you never have to do that But it's still your responsibility that's why I bring it up it's your it's your responsibility To determine if this is right or not I guarantee you everyone has something they disagree with me about That's sitting in this room There's going to be something that you don't like that I do or I say or I teach or whatever But it's up to you to decide what's right and what's wrong and you have that spiritual authority in your house to make things Run the way that you want them to run But as I mentioned many times authority means you're responsible luke 12 turn if you would to um First chronicles chapter 28 First chronicles 28 Being an authority means you're responsible by the way luke 12 47 and that servant which knew his lord's will And prepared not himself neither did according his will shall be beaten with many stripes But he that knew not and did commit things worthy of stripes shall be beaten with few stripes for unto whomsoever much Is given of him shall be much required And to whom men have committed much of him will they at they will ask them more God has committed a lot unto men in the home Your responsibility you see why I didn't sign up for that. Well, that's just the way it is You get married you've signed up for it taking charge of the home So that's what god expects of you and by giving you that authority there's a lot required of you then And in order to be a good leader You need to have resolve Which means that You're not just easily moved and swayed Right because it's not always easy to lead at home because we live with imperfect people You're imperfect your spouse is going to be imperfect But you need to maintain your strength and resolve and dedication to do your job appropriately You cannot be double-minded You can't be flip-flopping all the time on things decisions that you make and what's right what's wrong And just because you're getting pushed back from your spouse just because you're getting pushed back from your wife on something They're going to push back on things And no, it's not right. They should be able, you know, like if they're just going to be obedient obedience But it's going to happen Just like you're not going to rule the best ideally all the time either Okay, but in in order to deal with all of that you need to be able to Endure And to not be double-minded vitals is that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways Right, so you need to be able to make decisions and stick with it Obviously if you identify that you've just done something wrong Then Then you change to what's right And if you catch yourself Always making the wrong choice and having to change You're unstable. Yeah And that just means you need to get some stability and you need to do some more reading and understanding and growing Okay So that you could get to the point Where you can make decisions and it's right and you can keep moving forward where you're not just flip-flopping all the time That's what you're striving for man. That's where you want to be You also need to be a man of your word, yeah, amen The things that you say Need to come to pass And that's where any leadership But especially in the home if people are going to respect you That they need to understand that when you say something It happens you can't just continually let your wife down saying we're going to do this and i'm going to do that And i'm going to do and then nothing happens You're ruining their confidence in you As a leader and to be able to do anything and to even want to be submissive to someone who just can't get anything done Right So when you speak Make sure that it's well thought out and when you say we're going to do something We're going to do this and we're going to move here. We're going to do this You actually do it It's only going to you know And there's so many reasons that you do that, but obviously even the bible puts a high emphasis on your word the things that you say You know the bible says uh in verse in james 5 12 But above all things my brethren swear not neither by heaven neither by earth neither by any other oath He's basically saying not to swear right? Yeah. I say oh I swear to god that this is true. I swear to god I'll do that or I you know Don't swear by anything He says but let your yay be yay and your nay nay unless you fall into condemnation Hey, this isn't even in the context of being a leader and being a husband But it applies very easily That way when you say, you know what if you just keep your word when I say yes, it's yes when I say no, it's no That simple It's not confusing if you want to be a good leader, you can't have you know a bunch of confusion Well, what do we really do things? You know, this is why I with even just with the soul winning time and stuff and the way that we operate things here No, there was some confusion going on. You know whose fault that was mine It's my fault I let things go Just kind of get out of control for too long and not having a really good established way of doing things That's why I change things today because i'm responsible for that apply that same type of thing at home Right With whatever you deal with at home Things are getting out of control at home. Maybe you're getting too relaxed on on You know Things you allow your your children to see or be exposed to Maybe it's time to say, you know what? We need to change some things around here because i'm in charge of this and if my children start growing up and just being real Worldly and start using a bunch of language that I want to prove up. Where are they getting that from? My children start acting a certain way because they've seen it on tv or movies or something else That's my fault I shouldn't have allowed them to be exposed to that stuff and I should have done a better job of teaching them Tighten it up and be clear and say this is the way things are going to be And there is no Room for doubt or did you really mean that? If you can be a man of your word your yay is yay Your nay is nay then no one should ever have to question. Did dad really mean that? Did dad really mean that? I know he said that but but I mean really Because he says things all the time and then nothing ever happens He says things all the time, but then we just do something we just do it anyways You need to have your authority in the house And unfortunately, sometimes establishing authority is unpleasant So It means you actually have to do something about it But you got to do it if it means throwing things away You throw things away Right, whatever it is that you just got to get under control in your house, then That is your job and your responsibility to men. That is your responsibility To be in charge in your house Strength first grant first chronicle 28 verse number 20. This is the instruction from a father to a son from david to solomon Bible says in verse 20 and david said to solomon his straw his son be strong and of good courage and do it Fear not Nor be dismayed for the lord god, even my god will be with thee He will not fail thee nor forsake thee until thou has finished all the work for the service of the house of the lord Now I decided not to because again where I could see where i'm at with time already Going to all the scripture i've done this in the past on other sermons regarding men and women and stuff like that on the the high attribute of being strong as a man of having strength Okay And I don't mean just physically i'm talking about probably even more importantly spiritually, but yes physically as well You shouldn't just be a wimp and a weakling as a man. Yeah Because you know what that's a feminine trait because the bible says that the woman is the weaker vessel If you find yourself as the weaker vessel in your marriage as a man You need to do something about that I know bodily exercise profited little But it'll profit you a little bit It'll profit you more than others if you are finding yourself to be the weaker vessel in the marriage, okay? And that goes for both physically and emotionally and spiritually, okay, you need to be the rock You need to be the solid person. You need to be that that you know The person that everybody in your family can rely on and depend on A real man is like that Unfortunately, we got a lot of males in our society You know the deadbeat dads the ones that that are able to have children and then they leave And then they run off and they only care about themselves and they don't take on the responsibility at home and take on The job that they ought to have and have the authority in in the home and being the man that people can rely on and depend on and trust in And follow the example of a heavenly father Who's always there for his children? That's a real man, that's right that can that can reflect the heavenly father a real father Is going to be there for his family and it's going to be strong and it's going to be a defender And it's going to be a protector and it's going to be there To provide and protect for his family That's what a real man does And that's what a real man does Family That's what a real man does The bible says in first parenthesis 1613 watch ye stand fast in the faith quit you like men be strong Tying the male attribute to the strength, right? Hey be like a man Be strong Stand fast in the faith Don't be Shakeable you ought to be unmovable in your faith. You ought to be unmovable In your resolve at home. That's being a real man And then finally my last point comes from first parenthesis 13 First parenthesis 13 verse 11 It'll be a real man You're gonna have to put away childish things First parenthesis 13 11 the bible says when I was a child I spake as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things Be a man or be a child, okay when you become a man it's time to stop being a child There's a level of sobriety and seriousness that goes along with your responsibility of being a man So Stop acting like a child and it makes me sick to see People who are supposed to be spiritual leaders Right pastors of churches getting up and dressing like they're a child, right? Dressing like they're some stinking teenager because they want to look hip and cool and trendy and everything else. Hey act like a man You're not a child you don't need to win over children by looking like a children and acting like a child be a man Children ought to respect you because you're a man not because you're acting like a child Because you're not going to get respect from children when you act like a child because they're going to act like one of them Why why should they respect you? And if you want your wife to respect you Put away the childish games and the childish things, you know the the the Whatever it may be. I don't know. I mean this just don't act like a kid I don't mean you can't play with your kids, right? You have a good relationship and playing games with your family and playing games with your kids But there's a difference between that and you just becoming like a child yourself, right? If I go if I go and play with my with my boys And we're building train sets and doing things like that. That's different than my wife just coming in. I mean i'm just playing with trains Right, like i'm just sitting there playing with these toys and there's no other kids around like well, honey. What are you doing? Oh just playing Be a man You want your wife to respect you be a man, okay put away the childish things There's so much more that you could go into on this topic because the the The attack From satan and his devils has has just been so focused on the family On gender roles on things that are just core fundamental truths and and and fundamental aspects of creation Have just been bombarded and under attack And we need to be the good examples of how things work It's important as ambassadors as christians as people who are claiming the name of christ To not have dysfunctional families to show hey if you do things god's way it really does work Let that be the good example and look I know that no one's perfect. Everyone's got their own problems in their families We're not looking for perfection it's not what you could exhale anyone should expect from you But over time You ought to be able to demonstrate to people That following things this way yields good peaceable joyful fruit when Both people are in when all people in a family are in their proper roles Yeah Because it will Otherwise god's a liar Otherwise the bible is wrong When it's explaining the boundaries the roles and what jobs you have Okay But god's not wrong We may fall short and be wrong. Yeah But let's do our best to get right so that we can be that good example Even unto other people from the outside looking in and going wow, you guys are weird. This is crazy You know, it's really not that crazy. That's right I get from people all the time out in the world Oh, man, you're you're white like she stays at home She homeschools you teach, you know, like how could you possibly do that? Like it's just so foreign to people And I get that I understand that But you ought to be able to then you know Because with with these types of things with these types of ways of being an ambassador It goes beyond just preaching the gospel to people, right? It's it's um, and it's not a replacement for by any means But it's something that all aspects of your life ought to show and demonstrate The right way the right path the light and where people over time have, you know, it's and it could take decades before people finally realize You know You were right about that Like the people who want to argue about spanking your children They're going to be all screwed up and you're bringing them to that church and you're hateful and this and hey You know what though i'm going to rest In god's word on how my family's run at home And we'll see how they turn out But i'm going to trust in this right here Because i'm confident You train up a child in the way that he should go and when they're old they will not depart from it That's right I'm confident to that. I have been since I had a family and a wife I'm not perfect but i'll Put our family and our happiness and our existence against any other worldly family out there Regardless of your situation. I don't care how much money you have or anything else. I guarantee you. We have a lot more joy in our home Home And we're not perfect my wife's not perfect i'm not perfect my kids aren't perfect But we're using this as our guide We're using this as as the light and you know what we do have a lot of joy in our house Everyone has off day. We have a lot of joy in our house And things work out really well When we can find ourselves doing what we're supposed to be doing And i'll tell you that from experience that's that's I This is the authority But the experience proves this over and over and over again every single time This word is true We should be looking to this word You want to know how to be a man? You find enough about it and hear him. You want to know how to be a woman? I'm fine enough about being here. You want to be a husband? father mother wife Child It's all in here What's right what's wrong the more you can follow this The better off you will be both here And in eternity All right, i've ordered prayer your heavenly father lord, we thank you so much for Giving us such great wisdom on this earth that you've provided your words for us And I pray that you please help us to incorporate these great truths into our lives and lord, I know it can be Hard to undo a lot of the brainwashing that's been going on uh from the world and that some of these things may seem really foreign to people god, but I pray that you would please just show them from your word the truth and that You'd help us all to To do right to fill our proper roles I pray to please help me as a husband as a father as a pastor to do the roles that you've Assigned me to do dear lord and everyone in this room Man, and woman boy and girl that you'd help us all to to fill our roles so that we can ultimately In the end do the most in service to you god, we love you. It's in jesus name. We pray. Amen