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Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music All right, good morning, everybody. Welcome to Verity Baptist Church. Take out your bulletin. We'll go through a couple announcements real quickly. First, let's count up any salvations that are unreported or that I'm unaware of. So let's see, any salvations in the back to report? Any salvation six? Anybody else? Four? Anybody else? How about this section here? Salvations? This section? Four? Four? All right. Anybody else? Salvations? All right. So 14 added salvations. And, of course, we do have soul winning here today. So for today's soul winning, if you're going to be part of the Married Couple Sweetheart Banquet here today, you're going to be going closer to the building. Our soul winning is going to be a shortened time. We're not going to cancel soul winning, but it will be shortened. And for the singles, we're going to send you to another country. No, I'm just kidding. Your soul winning is going to be the regular soul winning that you normally do. The singles will be heading on the gypney and heading somewhere for soul winning. And so that will be our soul winning schedule here today. And so a couple things to mention for the Sweetheart Banquet. So the order of events, basically, before we eat the food and before the competition, we do pictures. So everyone, like last year, nobody wants to be the next couple up. It's just like, just nobody wants to be the next couple up. It's just like, just next couple up, right? You get your family picture, then the next one, and then next family up. And I guess it's up to you whether or not you want to include your kids or not. We just did, I think, a picture without our kids, I think, if I remember correctly. But then we're going to do a group picture with all the married couples here at the front. Then we're going to eat the food. Then we have judgment day. Right? And so I'm sure everyone, everyone had a great time yesterday. I'm sure we'll have a great time. But a couple things to mention. After we eat, we need to put all of the chairs in the Mother Babe room, every single one. So if you can help with that, obviously, you stick around your fellowshipping at lunchtime. But basically, once your table's done, kind of clear it off, get your stuff off. That way we can move everything into the Mother Babe room because they're going to be coming in at 1.30 for everything that's catered. So a Mother Babe room is going to be at 1.30. Most likely, we're not going to have our soul winning anthem. They're a soul winning tip today because we're going to try to get stuff organized. And they're going to be coming in. And then we'll be heading out soul winning at that time. But we'll move everything right after lunch into the Mother Babe room, all of the chairs. And let's see. Other than that, we're coming up on our missions trip. Next Sunday is not yet our missions trip, technically, but a lot of people arriving early. So some people are going to be here for February 18th, that Sunday, but not the 25th. I think we will have enough room here because we do have the Laguna church service. So we'll have some people gone, which is good, right? Because we'll have more room. As of now, Pastor Sepulveda is going to be preaching one of the sermons. But as I said, his flight got changed. So be in prayer for that for I think everybody in Australia, their flights got delayed or by one day, Philippine Airlines just move them the next day. So I'm not sure what the final answer is on that, whether or not they're going to be here. They're going to change their flights or if that's going to be possible. But then February 19th through the 25th is our missions trip. And obviously, you know, people work jobs, they're busy, and I get that. So if you're not able to be here for any of the special soul winning, that's fine. If you're planning to be here for the soul winning and events and stuff like that, though, above, you know, just coming to normal church services, then you're welcome to join because we're gonna have a WhatsApp group and we have a Facebook group and we can add you to those groups. But I didn't add everybody at church because most people are gonna be busy. They're not gonna be able to anyway. But if you're able to, if you want to join those groups, that way you can stay up to date on all the details and stuff like that, then that's fine. We can add you. Let my wife know. Let me know or one of the other church members that's already in those groups can add you to the Facebook group, and that's perfectly fine. Now Brother Rafi, lead us in another song. Oh, oh, I am bound for the promised land. Oh, who will bear upon and know with me? I am bound for the promised land. When shall I reach that loud, deep place and be forever bled? When shall I seek my Father's place and in his course of rest? I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. Oh, who will come and go with me? I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. I am bound for the promised land. The psalm of Solomon chapter 1, please say amen if you're there. The psalm of Solomon chapter 1, please say amen if you're there. Amen. The psalm of Solomon chapter 1 verse 1. The psalm of Psalms, which is Solomon's, Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine. Because of the savor of thy good ointments, thy name is an ointment poured forth. Therefore, to the virgins love thee. Draw me, we will run out through thee. The king hath brought me into his chambers. We will be glad in rejoicing thee. We will remember thy love more than wine. The upright love thee. I am black but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, at the tents of Kedar, at the curtains of Solomon. Look not upon me because I am black because the sun hath looked upon me. My mother's children were angry with me. They made me the keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept. Tell me, O thou, who my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon. For why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions? If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherd's tents. I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses and fair chariots. Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold. We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver, while the king sitteth at its table, and my spikenard sent it for the smell thereof. A bundle of me is my beloved unto me. He shall lie all night betwixt my breast. My beloved is unto me as a cluster of campfire in the vineyards of Enghidi. Behold, thou art fair, my love. Behold, thou art fair. Thou hast thou sight. Behold, thou art fair, my beloved. Yea, pleasant. Also, our bed is green. The beams of our house are cedar, and are raptors of fear. Bless the reading of God's word. Let us pray. Lord God, in heaven, thank you for the place that it is given to us. I pray all of you to please bless the Lord for this day. Give us good weather for our soul-willing and our activities, Lord, later on. I pray all of you to please bless the preaching and the preaching of your word, Lord, this day. We love you, Jesus, and we pray. Amen. All right, so the first sermon was Reasons Why Your Husband Hates You. This sermon, Reasons Why Your Wife Hates You, right? And so all the ladies hate me after the first sermon, so it's good to balance out the crowd, and all the guys will hate me after this sermon, okay? But I would say this, that before we get into the sermon, as a husband, you should be more concerned about this sermon because this is the things that you need to change. Instead of worrying about what your wife needs to change, worry about yourself, how you can get better at the role God has given you. And so one reason that your wife might hate you or be very angry with you is because you do not spend time with the family. You do not spend time with the family. As I said during the first sermon, it is the husband's job to be the provider financially for his family. That is not your only job as a husband, and part of your job is to actually be there and to spend time with your family. The Bible says here in Song of Solomon, chapter 1, verse 5, I am black but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Look not upon me because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me. So here's a woman that's feeling a bit down on her appearance, and she's saying she's been out in the sun, so she has a sun tan, and it's causing her to feel a bit down on her appearance. It's always been kind of interesting to me because growing up in the U.S., everybody wants to have darker skin, but then other parts of the world, people want to have lighter skin, so to me, I'm just like, I always wanted to have like a sun tan. That's kind of what everybody wants in the U.S., but she's feeling down on herself because she's been out in the sun, and her skin is darker as a result and it says here, My mother's children were angry with me. They made me the keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept, and she's being symbolic or metaphorical. She's describing her own vineyard as herself. She hasn't taken care of. It says, Tell me, O thou whom I so loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon, for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions? And so at noontime, which would be at lunchtime, she's like, I haven't seen my husband since breakfast time. You know, where is he? I just want to spend a little bit of time when he's on his lunch break. And see, this shows you a bit of a different mindset between ladies and men because as guys, we can dive into our work and work all day. We don't want distractions, and once we're done, we come home. What she's saying is, I just want to spend a little bit of time because I miss him, right? I haven't seen him in five hours. I want to spend just 30 minutes with him, right? Go to Song of Solomon, chapter 2. Song of Solomon, chapter 2. And it says in Song of Solomon, chapter 2, verse 10, My beloved spake and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. And this is the husband speaking to the wife. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of the singing, the birds has come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land. It's signifying that the weather is much better now. There was the winter, there was the rain, the snow, or whatever, but now it's beautiful outside. And then it says here in verse 13, The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines of the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. Let's go somewhere. Let's spend some time together. Let's go out for a walk. Let's go to the park. Let's do something, right? Now, obviously in the Song of Solomon, this is a picture of basically what you say is a perfect marriage. Now, this is before they have kids, so there's a little bit less in terms of stress in life. But, you know, they love one another, they care about one another. What you're seeing is that when he's getting home from work, he's not just like, let me just sit down and be lazy. Let me sit down and listen to online preaching. Let me sit down and just, you know, watch the TV or listen to music or whatever or do my own thing. Just know when he comes home, he wants to spend time with his wife. And look, as guys, if we're smart, we need to realize it's not just financially providing for our homes, but our wives want us to spend time with them. They want us to be there for them. And look, if you want your wife to love you and not grow bitter towards you, you need to come home from work, and even though you want to relax, even though you're tired, you still spend time with your family. Go to Song of Solomon, chapter three. Song of Solomon, chapter three. Now, the truth is, it's easier said than done because when you work a full-time job and you come home, oftentimes you want to just be alone, relax, you've got hobbies or whatever. And I'm not saying you can never have any hobbies, but the reality is, you know, if your wife, especially if you're following the pattern of the wife staying home and the husband out working, your wife's at home around nobody all day long. And, you know, if you have young kids, your wife is basically talking to a young child all day, and of course there's a blessing there, but at the same time, she wants to talk to a grown adult that's her own age, right? You know, God has blessed you to be together, husband and wife, and you're meant to be there, not just financially, but be there to spend time with your family and be there with your family. And if you don't spend time with your wife and your wife realizes other things in life are more important to you, it's going to cause her to grow bitter and resent you in her heart. Song of Solomon, chapter three, verse one. By night on my bed, I sought him whom I so loveth. I sought him, but I found him not. I will rise now and go about the city and the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom I so loveth. I sought him, but I found him not. Now, when it comes to some of these stories in Song of Solomon, you can wonder, is this a dream? Is it being metaphorical? Regardless, it still teaches us something here. Her husband's not there at night, and she's like, I miss my husband. Now, the symbolism is fascinating because she cannot find her husband, and, you know, Solomon represents the Lord Jesus Christ in the Song of Solomon, and in the broad ways, she's seeking for her husband. She can't find him. What happens? The watchmen of the city find her and then point her to her husband. Just like nobody gets saved on their own, they simply go down the broad way. A soul winner came to you, gave you the gospel, and then, boom, you found Jesus. Isn't that true? Everybody got saved because somebody gave them the gospel. All of us. I was headed down the broad way that leadeth to destruction until a soul winner came and gave me the gospel. But she's searching for her husband. She misses her husband. You say, why? Because she wants to spend time with her husband. Right? Go to Song of Solomon 5. Now, probably the worst thing you can do as a husband is go home and then just listen to preaching all day long and then avoid your wife. You'd probably be better off, in my opinion, watching sports. You say, why? Because if listening to preaching is causing you not to spend time with your wife, it might cause your wife to resent and grow bitter against the preaching you're listening to. It might cause her to be like, you know, I kind of like my husband better when we were members of, you know, victory or the Bible Baptist Church, but now since we're, you know, new IFB fundamentalist Baptist, it's like all he wants to do is listen to Pastor Anderson or Pastor Jimenez. It's kind of weird if a grown man wants to listen to a guy preach rather than spend time with a wife that God has blessed him with. I get it. When you're single, you know what you do? You listen to a lot of sermons. You're trying to get motivated. That makes sense. You know, I work jobs where it's very repetitive, so we're listening to sermons, but it's like you come home and it's like you just want to listen to another guy preach. It's like, why do you care about that guy more than you care about about your wife? There's something strange with that. That's not the way that God intended it, and I'm not down on online preaching. We put our sermons online, and if you have time to listen to extra preaching that are good men of God, praise God for it. It can benefit you. It's only going to make you better church members. Do not forsake your family, though, in order to listen to more sermons. The Bible says in the Song of Solomon, chapter 5, verse 16, His mouth is most sweet, yet he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. And what she says about her husband is she looks at him as her friend. Now, when you think of somebody being a friend, what does that mean? It means you spend time with them. You talk to them. You get to know them. You hang out with them. Well, look, if you're just coming home and never spending any time with your wife and never talking to her, you can't really say that you're friends. That's not the way it's meant to be. What's meant to be is the best friend you have in life is the person that God has blessed you with, the person that you're married to. That's the way that it ought to be. And, you know, in some ways, when David makes statements like, the love I have toward Jonathan passes the love of women, you think, what a strong friendship. But you also think, maybe that's why you didn't have very good marriages. Right? Because that's not the way that God intends it. God intends it that your best friend is the person you're married to, which means you have to talk to them and get to know them. Go to Ephesians, chapter 6. Ephesians 6. Now, if you're a husband, you say, I do spend a lot of time with my wife. I do talk to her and get to know her. And, you know, we ask each other questions. Well, we'll see in about five hours, right, during the Sweetheart Bank of Questions. We'll see how much you actually talk and get to know one another. Right? And I'm being a bit facetious there, but the reality is that, you know what, it should be a normal thing that you talk to your spouse and you can confide in them things that you don't tell other people. Ephesians 6, verse 4. And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Now, obviously, this is more directed toward raising kids, but the reality is that when you have kids, spending time with your spouse is directly associated with spending time with your kids. Right? Because your kids are almost always going to be around. Now, I think it's great if you can spend time just one-on-one, or the kids are asleep, but realistically, if you're not spending time with your wife, probably not spending time with your kids, you're not spending time with your kids, probably not spending time with your wife. And the Bible says that you will provoke your kids to wrath if you do not bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Right? So admonition would be like correction. And that could include a spanking, but it could also just include, just tell them, hey, you don't do this, you need to do this, don't go down that road. Don't go down that road. But then nurture is about caring for them, loving them. And I remember when my son was about to be born, you know, having a child starts to become intimidating. It seems very easy until you're getting close. It's like we're at 30 weeks, 32 weeks, 34 weeks. Zeph was born four weeks early. I said, wait a minute, 36 weeks, I wasn't ready. Right? But this was actually a really comforting verse to me because I was like, you know what, I'm not going to do a perfect job as a father, but if I provide nurture and admonition, I'll do a good job. And, you know what, I'll be honest, I know people that were raised in homes where they didn't have the right gospel growing up, but parents provided nurture and admonition. And you know what the result was? That those kids grew up and they loved their parents and their good kids and good people. Right? I grew up a United Methodist. You say, well, how did you become an independent fundamental Baptist? Honestly, I think it started with the fact that I was given nurture and admonition for my parents. Now, oftentimes, you know, parents can have a selective memory as they get older, but I got the rod when I was a kid. Okay? I got the admonition. I got the spanking. And of course when you spank your child, the way you do it is you spank your child in the place God provided and you hug them and you explain why they got the spanking. And they realize that you're doing it out of love. And you know what happens 99% of the time? Immediately your child hugs you and says, I'm sorry. That's what takes place. They don't grow bitter and hate you if you do it in the right way. So you need the admonition, but if all you provide is admonition and no nurture, guess what? Your kids are not going to grow up and love you. You need the balance. You cannot just be love, love, love, just give them candy when they're upset. No, you need the admonition. But realize where we could go wrong as fundamental Baptists is just providing admonition, admonition. We spank. That's what we believe. Thus saith the Lord. But we don't actually provide nurture and care for our kids. And the same thing is going to happen. Your kids are going to grow up and they're going to rebel. I believe the Bible has this promise, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. And if that does not take place, one of two things took place. There was not nurture or there was not admonition, right? Especially when we're talking about people that are Christians here. We know what the Bible says. It's like we're giving them the right faith. We're taking them to the right church. We're taking them soul winning. So the area you could fail is either nurture or admonition. And often first-time parents struggle with providing the admonition. And once again, as I said in the last sermon, it's the wife's job more than the husband's to do the spanking because she's around the child more. And oftentimes you'll see people really struggle to spank their first child, but actually you're doing your child harm if you don't provide nurture and admonition. So yes, the nurture needs to be there, but so does the admonition. You need that balance. Go in your Bible to Song of Solomon 8. As a husband, though, you come home and don't spend time with your kids. That's not nurture, right? You need to provide nurture and admonition to your kids. And look, all of us, we can struggle with this. I can struggle with this. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I have things I want to do. I have things that I'm busy with, things that I'm interested in, but you have to take a break from things that actually don't matter to do what God commands you to do. That's spend time with your kids. And if you don't, your wife's going to start to resent you because you care about other things more than you care about her. Isn't this the big theme we see in the Song of Solomon, that she feels loved? You know, cause me to hear it. The companions harken to thy voice. Cause me to hear it. Make sure you love me and spend time with me. So it's very simple. As husbands, spend time with your families, right? And if you don't, you could cause your wife to be hating you in her heart. Point number two is because you are flirtatious with people of the opposite gender. Song of Solomon, chapter 8, verse 13, the verse I just quoted, says, Song of Solomon, chapter 8, verse 13, Thou that dwellest in the gardens, the companions harken to thy voice. Cause me to hear it. His wife is saying, Solomon, you talk to everybody under the sun. You hang out with everybody. Make sure that you include me in your life. Just think about this logically. Let's say that a husband is being very nice to everybody he meets. Very nice to every guy and very nice to every woman that he meets. But then at home, you're just fighting with your wife all the time. Wow, that's going to make the wife feel great. It's like it's going to seem like you care about everybody else in life more than you care about her. And the Bible's telling us that, hey, as guys, we need to make sure that we put our wives above other people. Go to 2 Samuel, chapter 6. Let me show you an application. But another story you can think of is a story with the dueling wives, you know, Leah and Rachel. Okay? One takeaway is don't marry multiple people. Okay? But what you see is this envy that pops up and like Leah makes this statement where I've given him a child, he'll no longer hate me. He's finally going to love me. Right? And what you're seeing is, and obviously Jacob is literally married to multiple women. Actually four women in that story. So of course there's going to be, you know, I don't even know if it counts as a jealous wife because since he's married to multiple women, is that envy or jealousy? I don't know. But it's just like obviously you would understand why she would be upset, but the application is still to us if your wife perceives that you're interested in other people, you're nice to other people, it's going to cause her to grow very angry. Like why don't you love me? Why don't you care about me? Right? 2 Samuel, chapter 6, verse 18. And in 2 Samuel 6, we have this famous fight between David and his wife, Michael or Michaela, however you pronounce that. But before that, I want you to key in on some verses here. 2 Samuel 6, verse 18. And as soon as David had made an end of offering burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts and he dealt among all the people, even the whole multitude of Israel, as well to the women as men. To everyone, a cake of bread and a good piece of flesh and a flag and a wine, so all the people departed everyone to his house. So what does that mean, as well to the women as to the men? What it's saying is, let's say that David has bread or whatever and he's handing it to every guy and handing it to every woman as well. Now is that a sin? Well, no. Because where does it say, thus saith the Lord, don't hand out bread to people of the opposite gender. I couldn't point to a verse that would say that it's a sin. I could certainly say it's unwise, though. And we certainly see the side effect here, where basically it's just like, as a guy, the proper thing is, hey, you know what? Talk to the husband and let the husband talk to his own wife, right? Give something to the husband and then he can give to his wife, rather than handing to every single person. And look, in church, we ought to be wise with people of the opposite gender. As guys, you know who my friends are at church? The other men at church. As ladies, who should you be friends with at church? The other ladies at church. Now, it's different, I would say, with young kids. Obviously, I think boys and girls can play together. I don't think we have to be that strict. They're here playing on the mat or whatever. But there's obviously a difference when people get older because they start to have an attraction to people of the opposite gender unless they're a modern-day LGBT pervert, right? And so the thing is that as you get to that age, there's kind of a bit of a separation where the guys are going to be hanging out with the guys and the girls with the girls. You say, what? Because men can relate to men better and women to women better. Until you're at the age you're wanting to marry somebody. But for married people, especially as guys, guess who I should be talking to? Other guys at church. Not other ladies at church, right? And so David, is he doing something sinful or wrong? I wouldn't say it's sinful or wrong, but his wife's already a jealous wife because he's married to multiple women. And then as he's dealing to every woman as the man, yeah, you could see where his wife would get really upset, right? It makes her be reminded of the fact that he's actually married to other women. Verse number 20. Then David returned to bless his household. And Michael, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet David and said, how glorious was the king of Israel today who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovered himself. Now look, is what she's saying actually true? I don't think so. I mean, I think she is deeply exaggerating what took place, but he's not exactly innocent because he's married to multiple women. But here's the thing. It causes her to be upset, and then she creates this giant thing out of it. But if he was wise and he was more appropriate with people of the opposite gender, it wouldn't have caused this big fight, right? Go to Song of Solomon, chapter eight. Song of Solomon, chapter eight. And the reality is that in our lives, a lot of fights that take place, they might be from old wounds that just kind of come back, that bitter heart or bitter spirit where it just kind of comes back. And that's, of course, what I think is taking place with his wife. But it's like you've got to be very careful as a guy because men and women think differently, right? I mean, guys will tend to just be a bit naive maybe, but they're just kind of nice and friendly to everybody. They don't think anything of it. But wives don't see things the exact same way. And so as a guy, like, I think that David is doing this innocently. He's not doing anything technically wrong. And quite honestly, this is probably something that all of us could easily do without thinking about it. You're not doing anything major, just trying to be nice. Oh, here you go, here you go. When in reality, wives don't necessarily look at things the exact same way as guys. And in fact, the Bible actually keys in on the jealous wife in Song of Solomon, chapter eight. And look, there's nothing wrong with a wife being jealous over her husband. Because that is her husband, right? Song of Solomon, chapter eight, verse five. Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? I raised thee up under the apple tree. There thy mother brought thee forth. There she brought thee forth that bare thee. Now look, if you're married and another woman is like leaning upon you, unless you're on a gypney where you're like packed in and you can't do anything about it, it's like, yeah, there's a problem there, okay? It's going to lead to a lot of anger and jealousy. And it says here in verse six, Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm. These are the famous verses that people always have at, you know, weddings and big occasions about love. And it says, For love as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave, the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath the most vehement flame. Let me translate love as strong as death. People get so emotional during love that they would kill. If somebody cheated on them. That's what the Bible's saying. Jealousy as cruel as the grave. What does the Bible mean by grave? It means the grave. It means that jealous people can sometimes... Look, you see this in the news all the time. There'll be a jealous husband or jealous wife that will kill their spouse or the person that they were committing adultery with. You know, due to that being so emotional, they get so mad. And the Bible says, Love as strong as death, something a woman might be willing to kill for. Because the context is her being jealous about her husband. And, you know, I know the thing is always like the jealous husband that they always talk about or whatever, but it's like actually in the Bible, you see the Bible really highlighting the jealous wife. And as a guy, if you are not wise in your interactions with people of the opposite gender, it can cause your wife to get very jealous. That's what the Bible's showing us. Verse number seven. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contempt. And so point number two, one thing that can cause your wife to hate you is that you're flirtatious with people of the opposite gender. And maybe you don't think you are and maybe you're not in your eyes, but the thing is, how does your wife feel? And you want to act in a way where your wife does not perceive that. Okay? Go to 2 Samuel chapter 6. So point number one, one reason that your wife hates you is because you don't spend time with her. And she might not tell you that she hates you, but if you don't spend time with her, she does hate you. Right? I mean, she's going to hate you in her heart. She's going to be mad in her heart. Number two, because you're flirtatious. I mean, she might say it doesn't bother her, but it does. Point number three, because you lose your temper. You're always getting angry. That is one reason why it's going to cause your wife to hate you. 2 Samuel 6, verse 21. 2 Samuel chapter 6, verse 21. And David said unto Michael, it was before the Lord. So we're continuing the story we look at. And David is mad. He says, it was before the Lord. He said, I didn't do anything wrong. And then notice this next statement, which chose me before thy father. Who was the father of Michael? King Saul. King Saul's already dead. King Saul basically died for being in rebellion against God and for being rejected, and David was chosen. I mean, obviously this is unique if you'd be married to the king's daughter and the king died and then you were chosen. But imagine telling that to your wife. Right? I mean, imagine that there's a company, and then you become the boss of a company and your father-in-law doesn't become the boss or whatever, and then he dies and says, I was chosen before your dad. That is a very rude, backhanded comment to make to your wife. But David doesn't stop there because we're getting good marriage advice of what not to do from King David. Right? Which chose me before thy father and before all his house saying, hey, you know what? It wasn't one of his sons that became the next king. I became the next king. Remember, Jonathan's also dead. Which is a pretty rude statement to make about Jonathan who was your friend. Right? To appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord over Israel. Therefore will I play before the Lord. Then he says, and I will be yet more vile than thus and will be base in mine own sight. And he's basically saying, I have done nothing wrong, but you know what? Since you did this, I'm going to intentionally act wrong just to make you mad. That's basically what he's saying. This is great marriage advice on what not to do. Okay? And of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honor. So you're mad that I'm married to a couple women. Watch me as I marry other women right in front of you or flirt right in front of your eyes. Right? Well look, if this is the way that you respond when your wife is mad at you, it's like your marriage is going to be destroyed. And technically you'll probably stay married. Technically you're probably not going to get a divorce or an annulment, but what's going to take place? Well notice verse 23, Therefore Michael the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death. What does that mean? It means as a result of this situation she never had any children. Well why would this cause her not to have children? Because they were never together as man and wife. Meaning it's impossible to have kids. Now the Bible speaks about Michael raising children, which if you actually look at the name, she's the aunt. It's her sister's kids. So when her raising it, and look, if you raise kids as your own, even though you're not biologically the mother, you are being a mother to them or a father if you raise kids and they're not biologically your own. But she never actually gave birth to any kids. You say why? Because of the fact her and her husband never were together ever again. But see the sad thing is this sort of thing takes place all the time in our world where people get mad at one another and they hate one another and they never have a normal marriage anymore. Why? Because there's so much bitterness and anger and resentment that both of you cannot stand the sight of one another. You say well what's the solution? Quit following the world's advice and quit being mad at the sermons here today and apply what I'm saying. That's the answer. And forget about the past. You came into this room today and you're so mad at your spouse. Forget about the past now and just move on. It doesn't matter what your spouse did wrong in the past. Move on today. Otherwise this is going to be you as well. Basically therefore they were never together again as a normal couple. Go to Genesis 30. Genesis 30. Genesis 30. Genesis chapter 30. Let me give you another example and this is something that is often highlighted in the Bible of husbands that or men that just lose their temper big time. And the way it works in the Bible the way I've seen it work in this world is that when, and I've heard kind of like a philosophical or sociological explanation of this and it makes sense with the Bible but basically when a guy gets mad he gets mad. Right? I know that can be the case with me. We're all just like nothing's bothering me and then just when you get mad it's just like ah you're just like so angry. Right? And an image just popped in my head of this is an old sports thing. Maybe you know nothing about it. I don't know. But there's like a big fight at a basketball game. Ron Artest. It was called the Malice in the Palace. And it was like Detroit in Indiana and Ron Artest was kind of a hot head but he was just hanging out, relaxing, cooling off and it was like a cup got thrown at him and all of a sudden, because he was already like at the brink of losing it although he's staying calm and then all of a sudden that cup hit him. He runs in the crowd. He punches the wrong person. He loses it and like everyone gets ejected and suspended for 40 games. But it was like that was the final straw. He seemed like he was so under control but you know I know that in my life this is the way that I can be where I'm under control and then something small just kind of puts me over and you just lose it. This is the way that guys tend to be. And as guys you say what do we do? We have to find a way to get ourselves under control. What I would say, and I'm not saying this is easy to do and it's not easy for me in these situations when you lose control of your emotions is go to the other room and spend some time with God. That is what we need to do. Get some time away and the reason why you need to spend, not just get away, but also spend time with God is because if you don't spend time with God you're just going to meditate on why you're so mad and then it's not going to help. What you really need to do is just take some time. Hey, go out for a walk, pray to God, read something in the Bible and you want to find amazing when I actually do this and I'm handling myself well when I really lose it. It's like I happen to be reading the perfect story that I need to read. And then all of a sudden I'm just like how foolish am I? God kind of just opens my eyes and it's like the next thing on my reading is 2 Samuel 6 or something like that and it's like wow. It's like okay, I got it God. But Genesis chapter 30 and let's see another example of a guy losing his temper. Genesis 30 verse 1. And when Rachel saw that she bared Jacob no children Rachel envied her sister and said unto Jacob give me children or else I die. Now of course Rachel is emotional, she loses it and of course I can relate to the husband being mad at his wife losing control like this. But it says Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel and he said am I in God's stead who hath withheld from me the fruit of the womb? Here's the problem. That statement does not help fix the problem. It only makes it worse. Right? Go to 1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter 3. And I cut a lot of these out of my notes but it's a pretty common thing like you think of Samson as he loses his temper. It's not really directed towards his wife although it is directed toward the woman that he's with a little bit. Part of the story. But you see a lot of guys they just lose their temper. And what I can say is that as guys we have a tendency to do that. Right? I mean I would say that as guys you're more likely when you're driving somebody you know like cuts you off or whatever and you get so mad that you're like and like screaming and it's just like that's kind of something guys do. It's certainly not right but that's kind of guys that will lose their temper and they get like so emotional or you know guys playing sports they get so mad then they'll just like fight someone in the other team or whatever. I mean that's just kind of something guys can just lose their temper and as husbands you need to realize that make sure when you lose your temper don't direct it toward your spouse. I mean get like you know just some boxing gloves or something in your house where you can just like get rid of the anger or whatever. It's like go and just work out and just be at the gym you'll probably lift like 500 pounds because you're so angry or whatever you're filled so much you know with adrenaline or whatever but don't direct it toward your spouse because the problem is that's someone that you're going to be around all the time and you create wounds that are going to kind of stick with you. It says in 1 Peter chapter 3 Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement. Now we mentioned that in the first sermon but what you see in the Bible is that when God will give advice or something that husbands can take away or wives can take away you'll see God give advice also to the other side as well so there's the balance and we're seeing that in this sermon. Verse 7 Likewise ye husbands so now it's to the husbands dwell with them dwell with your wives according to knowledge that kind of brings back the idea of being friends with your spouse getting to know them. Giving honor unto the wife is unto the weaker vessel and is being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered. The Bible refers to wives as the weaker vessel. Okay? Now are men physically stronger than women? Of course. It's not even close. It's not worth debating. Right? Men are stronger. They are just designed that way by God. It's nothing to be upset about. It's just a fact. Men are stronger than women. Men are faster than women. That's just the way guys are designed. But here's the thing. Is that really the context of weaker vessel here? Because oftentimes it's quoted and people use it to say well, you know what? Women can't compete in sports with men and I agree with that and that's true but is that really the context of weaker vessel in this verse? I don't really see that as the context. Context is emotionally. Yes, it's true. Men are physically stronger than women and yeah, that needs to be preached but I don't want us to miss the fact the main context here is emotionally men are stronger than women. Why is that important? Here's why it's really important. If your wife gives an insult at this level it's not going to hurt as much to you as it would hurt her if you give an insult at the same level. Do you understand what I'm saying? You think well, my wife said this to me so I'm going to fire back. Here's the problem. She's the weaker vessel. And don't get mad at this, ladies. It's what the Bible says and it's true. Women are emotionally weaker than men. As I said, this is the reason why I believe men are in charge of making the decisions because they can kind of throw aside emotions and do it. It just is what it is. I know situations in my family tree way back in the past where there was I don't want to say who but way back like 60 years there was someone like a man in the family had a major accident. He had had several heart attacks and he was basically at the point of death. And basically machines keep you alive or basically they just kind of cut the cord and you die. And then the wife just kind of turned to her son and is just like you decide. You say why? Because she cannot emotionally make that decision. Because men are stronger emotionally. It's a fact. It is what it is. This is why women are more likely to cry than men. Now it doesn't mean that men never cry. It doesn't mean it's wrong to cry. Jesus wept and there's times that we can cry as men. But when you think of the story of David and Bathsheba, what takes place? Well, David is emotionally destroyed too but you know what? He comforts his wife because it's his job as the stronger vessel. That's what the Bible is trying to say. It's trying to give us advice as men. We need to realize this. You say why? Because if you talk in a very rude way to your wife, you might think, hey, I talk to people like this all the time. Get over it. But here's the thing. Women are the emotionally weaker vessel so they might not get over it as easily as you expect. So we need to be aware of that that we do not lose our temper with our spouses. Verse number eight. By the way, it's said in verse seven to be heirs together of the grace of life. One thing we all need to remember is you will do a better job raising your kids with your spouse than without your spouse. It's a foolish attitude to say, you know, forget about it. I don't care about a happy marriage. I'm just going to serve God on my own. That's a foolish attitude to have because the Bible says you're meant to be heirs together and you know what? Kids need a mom and a dad in the home to be there and to work together as a team. It says in verse eight, finally be all of one mind having compassion in one of another. Love is brethren. Be pitiful. Be courteous. Not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing but contrary wise blessing knowing that you're there and too called that you should inherit a blessing. These verses I do believe are directly associated with marriage because that's what we were just talking about. They can be applied to other things but they're right after marriage. You say, why do I want to do this as a husband? For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil. If you want to love life and have a nice life and have a happy life, don't be rude to your wife. Don't lose your temper with your wife. That's what the Bible is saying because if you're always losing your temper, you're going to have a miserable marriage. Your wife will hate you in her heart. That's what the Bible is showing us. If you love life, you want to have a good life, then make sure you get control of your tongue and is it difficult? Absolutely because every kind of beast and of birds and things in the sea is tamed and hath been tamed of mankind. Every animal, as I said recently in the sermon, dragons were tamed of mankind because every kind of beast and of serpents, which is dragons, the dragon is a type of serpent biblically, but the tongue can no man tame. Why? Because any animal is dumber than a human, right? But you know what? Even though they seem so strong and powerful, what's actually really hard to control is their tongue. This is why what we have to do sometimes is just walk away and just get yourself out of the situation before you say something horrible and sometimes maybe you need to walk without your cell phone because you're just going to text what you were going to say with your mouth. Right? I mean, this is true. Or maybe just go back to a Bobo phone and you can't, you know, I don't know. Right? You don't have internet or whatever. But do whatever you need to do. But here's the thing. If you lose your temper and just say whatever with your mouth, you're only going to cause long-term problems in your marriage. And it says in his lips that they speak no guile. Let him eschew evil and do good. Let him seek peace and ensue it. Turn me by the Song of Solomon, Chapter 1. Song of Solomon, Chapter 1. Song of Solomon, Chapter 1. By the way, I'll give you a little hint. One of the questions in the questionnaire late at the Sweetheart Banquet, for which one of the reasons preaching the sermon is the reason why you hate your spouse? No, I'm just kidding. That's not one of the questions, all right? So point number one, one reason why wives might hate their husbands or be very angry is because they do not spend time with the family. They're just more concerned about other things. Number two, because they're flirtatious. They're being too friendly with people of the opposite gender. Number three, because they lose their temper. As guys, we have a tendency to get very angry and lose our temper. And the thing is, guys speak a bit differently than women speak. So for guys, you insult one another, you're rude, and you get over it. It's not that big of a deal, but it doesn't really necessarily work the same way with ladies, right? As guys, you can say something rude to your friend, and then you're like, ah, whatever. But that's not the way ladies act. And so if you speak to your wife as you would speak to just your normal guy friend that you have, it's like you're in for a disaster, right? You need to realize that. Lastly, point number four, because you conceal your feelings, because you never tell your wife how you feel. You never tell her how much you care. You never compliment her on the cooking, the cleaning, taking care of the kids. You don't compliment your wife. You conceal your feelings. Song of Solomon chapter one, verse eight. If thou knowest, know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock and feed thy kids beside the shepherd since. This is right after she misses her husband. And then he says this in verse nine. I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses and pharaohs' chariots. Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold. Now throughout the Song of Solomon, it's not necessarily important why he compliments in a certain way, because some things we don't fully relate to, because we're not in that culture. For me, this one kind of makes sense, because I firmly believe this is Pharaoh's daughter, and what he's saying is, hey, you grew up around the greatest horses in the world that your father had, and he's telling his wife you're the best. Right? Now, of course, if you give this compliment to your wife, she's probably not going to relate to horses in the same way that Pharaoh's daughter did, so I've compared you, my love, to a company of horses that President Marcos has. She's going to be like, what are you saying? That's not the point, but the point is to basically compliment your spouse in a way they can understand, and so there's a lot of poetic and symbolic language, but he's saying you're the best, and he's saying, you know, and realistically, you can also think of it this way, because this is kind of like a common thread in the Song of Solomon. The Song of Solomon's a king, right? And so as he's going to be married to a queen, he's kind of saying that it's the best. Like, you're the best. In Egypt, it's the best. In other places, he says there are three-score queens and four-score concubines, and he's like that you're better than the rest of them is what he's saying, because obviously he would have known a lot of other queens, and obviously Solomon's, or I mean, the Pharaoh's daughter would have also known a lot of other queens. I mean, you hang out, if you're royalty, probably with royalty, right? Go to Song of Solomon, chapter 2. But what you're seeing is, my point is that he's not concealing his feelings. He's telling her how he feels. Song of Solomon, chapter 2, verse 1. I am the rose of Sharon in the lily of the valleys. Now, in verse 1, this is the woman speaking, so I don't necessarily dislike the Song of the Lily of the Valley. It has a very pleasant tune, but it's the woman that's compared to the rose of Sharon in the lily of the valleys, not the guy. The guy is the apple tree amongst the trees of the wood, and so Jesus is not really the lily of the valley, okay? But the way the woman feels is, I'm like the lily of the valley, and then notice in verse 2, as the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. And the analogy is that this woman is like a lily, and all the other women are like thorns. That's what he's making his wife feel like. That's what he's saying to his wife, that you are the lily, everybody else is thorns, saying you're better than all of the rest of the women, right? Go to chapter 4, chapter 4, chapter 4. This is something I can admit it's tough as a guy because we don't necessarily express our feelings. It doesn't come normally or naturally to us as guys. I've heard a joke before in the U.S. where basically I told my wife I loved her the day we got married, and if it ever changes, I'll let her know. I mean, that's kind of funny to hear in theory, but what a stupid statement to make. Are you really that bobo to take that sort of philosophy? No, the Bible is showing you that if you want to have a strong and healthy and happy marriage, you need to actually let your spouse know how you feel. Chapter 4, verse 7. Thou art all fair, my love, there is no spot in thee. And so once again, he's complimenting his wife. And I'm only picking certain verses from Song of Solomon, but it's throughout the Song of Solomon where she's complimenting him and he's complimenting her, and they have a good and healthy marriage. And as guys, we need to just take advice from the Word of God, and to us, it's probably not that big of a deal if your wife compliments your appearance because, here's the truth, guys don't really care what they look like. It's just not that big of a deal. Guys aren't going to spend a lot of time in the mirror in the mornings. Generally, it's not what I mean. I think guys care more about being muscular, maybe, but it's just like women care more about it, and so you have to realize that even though it doesn't matter to you if your wife says you're guapo, you're like, so what? But it matters to her that you consider her beautiful. Go to chapter 6. Chapter 6. I think as guys, we'd be more concerned that we look tough. We don't really care if we're attractive. As a guy, I feel like if you say, yeah, you're pongy. You're the ugliest person I've ever seen. That doesn't really bother me. If somebody on YouTube says I've never seen an uglier preacher in the world, it's just like, that doesn't really bother me. Now, if somebody said that you look really weak and girly, then it's like, okay, now wait a minute. That would bother me, but I really don't care whether or not people find me attractive. As guys, we don't really care, but men and women are different. Women do care. It is important. I mean, I would presume if a woman said to another woman, yeah, you're the ugliest woman I've ever seen, that would probably be like, wow, that is extremely harsh. But as guys, we really don't care. Right? I mean, when you're playing sports growing up and you're trying to insult someone, that's not the insult as a guy you give. The insult we gave on the playground growing up is you're a queer. You're a girly man. You're a crybaby. Something like that, right? I mean, that's generally. So men and women are different. We just need to realize that. Both as men and women. And these sermons, both. Husbands, don't expect your wife to act and think and be like a husband, and you wouldn't want that if that's the way she acted. Wives, don't expect your husband to act and think like a woman, and you don't want that either. It's not going to make you happy. We should all just fit into the roles that God has given us. Chapter 6, verse 3. I, my beloveds, and my beloved is mine. He feedeth among the lilies. Thou art beautiful, and my love is tears, that comeliest Jerusalem, terrible as an army with banners. Turn away that eyes for me, for they have overcome me. Thy hairs is a flock of goats that appear from Gilead. Thy teeth are as a flock of sheep, which go from the washing, whereof everyone beareth twins, and there is not one barren among them. As a piece of pomegranate are thy temples within thy locks. Now, as I said, I don't think it's that important that we understand every phrase of what the compliment is. Some of them I get. Some of them I do not get what it's saying. But he's complimenting his wife. And then it says in verse 8, there are three score queens, and four score concubines, and virgins without number. Now, I've heard people preach this. Well, there's Solomon mentioning all the wives that he's married to, all the women he's married to. Well, that would go against the rest of the Song of Solomon. What's taking place is she can relate because she's Pharaoh's daughter to the different queens he's referring to, saying, yeah, there's a lot of women that I could have been married to. I don't want to be married to them. I want to be married to you. I chose you. He says, thou excelest them all. And then it says in verse number 9, My dove, my undefiled, is but one. She is the only one of her mother. She is the choice one of her that bearer. The daughter saw her and blessed her, yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her. Go to Song of Solomon, chapter 7. Song of Solomon, chapter 7. Song of Solomon, chapter 7. Verse number 1, How beautiful are thy feet with shoes of a prince's daughter. The joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor. Thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young rows that are twins. Thy neck is as a tower of ivory. Thine eyes like the fish pools in heshbon by the gate of Bathrabin. Thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon, which looketh toward Damascus. Thine head upon thee is like caramel, and the hair of thine head like purple. The king is held in the galleries. Now, a lot of these things, I don't fully understand the expressions that he's trying to make. Some I do, some I don't. Thine head upon thee is like caramel. Mount Carmel is known to be a very beautiful mountain, so that's the analogy. Thine head like purple. Purple's the color of royalty. He's not saying literally you dyed your hair purple. But you're just seeing that he's complimenting his wife. It's a common theme in the Song of Solomon. You say, why? To have a good marriage, to have a healthy and strong marriage, one very important aspect as a guy is he compliments your spouse. That's what we see. Go to Romans 12. We'll close up. Romans 12. And, you know, as I said, when it comes to these sermons that I'm preaching, I'm looking at the things that I see in the Bible. I'm not saying these are the only things. I'm just saying these are the things that I see that pop up. And what I would say is if you focus on hitting the main things, because what takes place in life is sometimes a lot of small things really bother people, but really the reason why they bother them is because of bigger issues that they don't necessarily express. So what I would say is if you hit the big issues, the small things aren't going to bother you that much. Right? Like, I'll just use, like, a foolish example that I don't think should really bother people, but, you know, I grew up, when you eat, you put the fork on the left side of the plate and the spoon on the right side of the plate. So, you know, I prefer that, you know, the fork being on the left, the spoon on the right. But here's the thing. Is that really that big of a deal? No, but those are the sorts of things that can really bother people if there's other big issues. And they don't mention the big issues. They avoid mentioning what's really bothering them or dealing with that, and then all these small issues become big things, like which way you roll the toilet paper, if it's this way or if it goes the other way. Do things like that really matter? They really don't matter that much. But we allow things like that to become big things, but the reason why they're big things is because of the fact there's actually other issues that are the real thing. And what I would say is, if you hit the big issues and get better at those, all of the small little fights are probably going to vanish away. I'm not going to say that you're going to have a perfect marriage, because obviously everybody fights. Everybody can have problems. I don't claim. My wife and I would never claim to have a perfect marriage. Nobody does. But I would say that if all of us in this room, all of us would focus on hitting the main things, we would have healthy and strong and happy marriages. Romans 12, verse 9. Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil, cleave to that which is good. The word dissimulation means a concealment of one's thoughts or feelings. So the Bible is saying here in verse 9 is, have a love that is not concealing the feelings. So basically, your love being with dissimulation would be like, well, you say you love your spouse, but you never tell them that. That is having a love with dissimulation. The Bible is saying, don't have a love without dissimulation. So what the Bible is saying is, when you're married, make sure to tell your spouse how you feel about them. Make sure to tell them that you care about them. Even for something small, oh, thank you for making breakfast. Thank you for making my favorite food. Thank you for doing this. You look very beautiful today. You look very nice today. Of course, when it comes to these points, obviously we can go the other way. I do think wives should compliment husbands also. I'm just saying what we see as the main things in the Bible. For husbands, spend time with your family. Do not be flirtatious. Flirtatious with people of the opposite gender. Do not lose your temper. And do not conceal your feelings. Tell your wife how you feel about her. Let's close the Word of Prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today and just this practical advice that we can learn from the Word of God and help us all to just forget about the past, let all bitterness slide and just try to have good marriages, God. Try to help make changes in our lives, God. Help all of us that are husbands focus on the things that we can focus on, what we need to get better at. Help all the wives to focus on the things that they need to get better at. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. We're going to have Brother Raffi come up here to... Oh, there you are. I was like, where did he go, right? We're going to have Brother Raffi come and lead the last song and then if he could just pray for the food that we're going to eat today and also just as a reminder, right after lunch, we have to move all of the chairs into the mother baby room. Right? Stack them up and we'll move them in, but we'll have Brother Raffi come in. Amen. Amen. Amen. 0a eip Sullivan, Sports House, 1st fifty years. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. He number 47, himself, he number 47, has music and music onfalse-ness. He number 47, he number 47, persons are ready saying Oh Oh Oh Oh Great So little time in the line is paper feeling just fine And I mean, I'm gonna miss a lot of fun and I'm set up as a preaching so we can find out so brave I know it's a human cipher, you know that I know people's army fine Oh my my family for nominee to find on so every muscle is a reading to Hannah's. I mean Sorry my partners for me this summer. I saw upon you know on Simon Familia for me known for me not to let the learning for Namin. I mean, that's a lot of a kind for me. No, I Looking at a house on point. Oh, sir I know it for me. No, but the one you promise I mean in the middle That's what the point of tinnitus when I'm saying in Jesus in the great amen this miss where does miss button You