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you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you it's like what's wrong with you right? you you you you you you you go to Acts 2 you you you you you you you you you you you your you you you you you you you you Yes, our doctrine matters. But you know, having fellowship at church also matters quite a bit as well. Turn in your Bible to Titus 2. Titus 2. Point 1 The whole family must be involved spiritually, publicly. Church attendance, soul winning, fellowship activities all of these things are important. But you know, also the whole family needs to be involved spiritually privately. In your own home. Things that are not seen by man. And obviously you think of having a daily prayer time with God. Reading the Bible. Memorizing the Bible. All of those things are important. It says in Titus 2 verse 1 The age of women likewise that they be in behavior has becometh holiness. Not false accusers, not given much wine, teachers of good things. Now when the Bible speaks of aged women here this doesn't mean well they're at least 40 or 50 or 60 years old. It's not about a specific age. What it's about is in the context of being a mom or a wife. So let's say for example somebody was 80 years old but they were never married. They didn't have any kids. Well they wouldn't really be an aged woman in this context because they wouldn't be able to give the advice on being a mom or a wife. Because they were never married. They never had kids. And see here's the thing. Somebody could be 30 years old and let's say they've been married for 10 years and they have 5 kids. Well you know that is the sort of person you say hey my child is sick what do I do? That's the sort of person you go to for advice. My sister got married at 17. By the time she was 30 she probably had I don't know 6, 7 kids? I lose count. I think they're at 11 now. I'm 99% confident. 11 kids. It's like by the time she was 30 I mean she already had probably like 6 kids. Well that's somebody who's an aged woman although 30 years old is not aged. That's not old. I mean in general you'd say that's the prime of your life probably for most people would say. It's like but in the context of being a mom and a wife. Yeah if you've been married for 13 years with 6 kids you would be an aged woman in this context. And it says that you know behavior has become with holiness. Well I mean that's the idea of having a private walk with God. Not false accusers. Not giving much wine. Teachers of good things. That they may teach the young women to be sober. To love their husbands. To love their children. Basically teaching the young women how to be a mom and a wife. Now a large part of this is just by example. But at the same time do you realize that people at church are going to ask the pastor's wife, hey you know what? What should I do in this situation? Right? Or we're having problems at home. You know how to become a better wife. Give me advice on raising these kids. I mean a lot of women at this church will message my wife and ask questions and because of the fact she's married to me it puts her in a position where a lot of people are going to come to her for advice. You say well brother Saki you know that's not fair to the pastor's wife. Whether it's fair or not it's a reality. Look when you are married into the ministry there are expectations. You can't completely separate yourself from the ministry. It just is what it is. Right? I mean if you're married to someone in the ministry you are going to be involved in the ministry to some level of degree. Whether you want to or not. It's just the way it is. And it says verse 5 To be discreet chaste keepers at home good obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed. Well how does an aged woman do this? By example and by having that personal walk with God where you can help instruct other people. Go to Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians 6. Now look if you are a woman that is married into the ministry your first obligation outside of to God is to your own personal home. Obviously God is first your own home is next. Church is underneath your own personal home. You say why? Because even in the context of being a bishop it starts with your own home. For me obviously God is first my family is above church. Now of course I'm at church every week of course I'm going sowing but here's what I'm saying out of the necessities that all of us must do I'm not going to put church before my family. You say why? Because the Bible says you start with your own home. It ought to be the home first. Which means sometimes you've got to allow things to kind of lack a little bit because you say you know what more important right now is I just spend time with my family. Right? That I put them first I don't put them on the back burner. It starts with your own home and whether you're the husband or the wife in the ministry whether you're the husband that's ordained or the wife married into the ministry the home does come first. However it is impossible to be completely separated from the work involved at church whether you're the husband or whether or not you're the wife. It just is what it is. Right? I mean you can't just say well you know what I'm just a pastor's wife so I'm just not going to be involved with anything and you know what you're going to fail in the ministry if that's the mentality you take. When you get married and look when you get married as a woman it's not like you desire the office of a pastor's wife. It's not like you desire the office of a bishop's wife. But you find a guy you love and you want to follow and if he has the desire of the ministry and he goes into the ministry it's like you're meant to be loyal to your husband and your family and even if you didn't desire the office of a pastor's wife because that's not an office then your husband's in the ministry you know you're stuck in it. It is what it is. And you know what here's the thing ministry can be stressful. It can drive you a bit crazy. And if you don't have a personal walk with God you're going to be miserable. You're going to hate your life. And look that's true for all of us. I mean look you know wives if you want a husband that loves you and is a good father and is in a good attitude he needs to read his Bible isn't that right? Because think about your own personal life when you're not reading the Bible much are you in a good mood or a bad mood? Bad mood? Right you have more patience when you're reading the Bible. You have more patience when you're dedicated to prayer. All of us that is the case. Well the ministry is stressful so if you want to be successful you have to have a personal walk with God publicly but also privately as well. Point number one the whole family needs to be involved spiritually publicly. Point two the whole family needs to be involved spiritually privately. Point three nurture. Point three nurture. Notice what it says in Ephesians 6 verse 4. And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I've said this before that when my son Zeph was about to be born this verse just kind of stuck out in my mind because you know before you have kids you're an expert at raising kids. Isn't that the case? I mean there have been a lot of single people through the years of this church that were giving advice to my wife about raising kids and it's like that's just rude. You don't know what you're talking about when you're not married and you don't have kids it's just like look if you're not familiar with the situation it's like you know just don't say anything. It's as simple as that. Right? And you know sometimes for some reason people have struggled have a problem with this. They don't understand that they wouldn't. But think about for example if you know let's say I'm having an in-depth soccer conversation with Brother Ehrman. Right? You know most people in this room are not that into soccer and you were in the conversation and you walked over and you felt like you had to say something. And you tried to act intelligent. It would be awkward. It would be embarrassing. We'd be like that doesn't make sense. It's like why don't you just stand in front of the goalie and just wait for the ball to come to you. There's something called offsides. It's like you don't know what you're talking about. Right? But people do this with marriage and having kids. Single people will say well if you want to be a good wife do this. Why? Because you listened to a sermon online that told you that? Don't you learn better via experience than anything else? And for me once my son was about to be born all of a sudden I was like am I ready for this? Because a few years before that I felt ready. And now as Zeph is about to be born I'm like wait a minute what do I do? Right? And this verse was very comforting to me because it boils it down to two things. Nurture and admonition. No parent does a perfect job. Every parent makes a lot of mistakes. But if you provide nurture and admonition you will be successful. Right? That is nurture. By definition the care for and encourage the growth of development. The idea would be that you're spending time with your kids. You love your kids. You hug your kids. You kiss them on the cheek. They kiss you on the cheek. You spend time with them. You actually care about your kids. Right? Go to 1 Samuel chapter 7. 1 Samuel 7. You know when it comes to our type of church, you know one thing that we talk about sometime which I didn't think that could be part of the letter H is homeschooling. Right? I didn't think about that until now. But you know I was actually homeschooled starting in middle school in my own personal life. And you know what we do believe the best pattern is the husband working and the wife raising the kids. It's not always possible but it is the best pattern if that is possible for you. And you know one thing that people often say is that you know what as a mom you need to spend more time invested in your own kids than other kids. And of course that makes sense. But you know a lot of men in the ministry could take the same advice because you should be more invested in your own kids than other people's kids. I should be more invested in my own family than your family. You say why? Because I'm not married to any women at this church other than my wife. Right? My kids are my kids with my wife are three kids. I ought to put them above other kids. You say why? It starts with the home. Right? It starts with your own personal home. And if a man knew not how to rule his own house how shall he take care of the church of God? I mean wouldn't it be foolish for me to spend hours and hours and hours invested in Children's Day here and all these activities. And then my son's like dad can we throw a ball? You know eight o'clock at night. Son I'm working on ministry stuff. I'm too busy. Wouldn't that be ridiculous? Anyway here's the thing. This is not just for someone going into ministry. I mean this is for all men that work jobs. Take a break from your job and spend time with your family. Show your family you care about them. Show your family that you actually love them that you nurture them. Right? You say well brother Stuckey that's your opinion. Okay well let's look at 1 Samuel 7 and let's see who's right based on what the Bible says versus your personal opinion that seems right to you. 1 Samuel 7 verse 15 And Samuel judged Israel all the days of his life. Now is Samuel a good man or a bad man? It's not a trick question. Good man. Right? This is like that question in math. You know you got multiple choice questions and then there's some really hard questions and it's like 2 plus 1. And you're like it can't be 3. This is just too easy. I mean there's no way. I mean it seems so obvious it's letter B. I'm going to go with letter D. Right? And I do that sometimes on exams it's like it can't be that simple. And you over think it right? Samuel is a good guy. I'm not saying he's not a good guy. He's a great man who's probably going to get more rewards in heaven than me. Probably than any of us. Right? Notice verse 16 though. And he went from year to year in circuit to Bethel and Gilgal and Mizpah and judged Israel in all those days. And what it's saying is that Samuel is going to Bethel to judge, to Gilgal to judge, and to Mizpah to judge. He's going all over the place. Well what does that mean? It means that most nights during the week he's not sleeping at his house. Right? Isn't that what that means? I mean if you're spending 25% of your time here, 25% here, 25% here, 25% here, you're not spending a whole lot of time at home. They didn't have cars back then. I mean you travel 50 miles or 50 kilometers, you're not doing that in an hour. Look if this was 100 years ago there would not be Verity Baptist Manila and Verity Baptist Pampanga. I wouldn't be able to travel between the churches. It would take too long. Right? But Samuel is judging at all of these locations. I mean it's his pattern. He goes around and with his job, which is in the ministry, he has gone from home all of the time. Right? Verse 17. And his return was Derema, for there was his house. And there he judged Israel and there he built an altar unto the Lord. Here are a couple verses that if you're doing a quick reading of the Bible you might just kind of read over. Right? Okay, Samuel is judging everywhere. His home is at Rhema. You got to stop and think about what the Bible is saying. He is a married person with kids. Right? We're going to see that here in a second. He's married with kids and what the Bible is telling you is he was gone from his house a lot. He's gone most nights in various different locations. Say, what's wrong with that? Well, realize that when you're reading your Bible, if you get to the end of a verse of a chapter, it does not mean that the thought is over. Keep reading. Sometimes the start of 1 Samuel 8 is going to tie together with 1 Samuel 7 and if you don't see that here, I don't know what to tell you. It's obvious it ties together. 1 Samuel 8 verse 1. And it came to pass when Samuel was old that he made his sons judges over Israel. Now the name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second Abiah, they were judges in Beersheba and his sons walked not in his ways but turned aside after Lucre and took bribes and perverted judgments. Now look, the Bible does not say that his sons were unsaved. That is not what I'm saying. But they did not love God. Is that not obvious? I mean probably saved I would say but they certainly don't love God according to verse 3. I mean they're taking bribes. Turned aside after Lucre. The Bible says not going after filthy Lucre if you're in the ministry, right? Perverted judgment. They don't love God like their dad did. Why? Is it a coincidence? Because there's a promise if you train your children they're going to grow up and love God, right? Well what's the problem? He didn't spend time with them. That's what you see in 1 Samuel chapter 7. I mean he's always gone. How can you get your kids to go after your ways when you're not around to tell them? You're not around to teach them. And what happens is his kids grow up and they do not love God. You say why? Because his dad was too involved with his work, right? And you know people use the term secular work but here's the thing. Since you put your family first, Samuel's too involved in his secular work, his job of being in the ministry. And he puts that above his family. What takes place? His kids grow up and they don't love God. Turn your Bible to Deuteronomy chapter 6. Deuteronomy chapter 6. You say, Brother Stuckey, I'm a father in this room and I take my kids to the best church in this area. We're going out soul winning. I am doing my job as a father. Well you might be but that's not the proof of it. Is that showing nurture to your kids? You have to actually spend time with your kids. And let me just be completely honest. If you raise your kids in this church and don't spend time with them at home, most likely they will grow up and not love God. That's what's going to take place. It's true for all of us. You say why? Because kids want parents that love them. They want parents that actually care about them. And here's the thing. If I'm in the ministry and don't spend time with my kids, is it difficult to see that they could grow up and resent God because of me? Isn't that common sense? I mean if I'm so involved in spiritual work that I never spend time with my kids, my kids are going to grow up and they're going to resent this type of preaching in this type of church. Why? Because they're going to feel like that drove daddy away from us. Right? As a dad you must have that balance. Yes, go soul winning every week. But you know what? Above going soul winning five times a week or four times or three or two, make sure you spend time with your kids also. Make sure you spend time and your kids grow up and they love God and they love you and you have a great relationship with them. Look that comes via nurturing your kids and spending time with kids. Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 6. And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up. While that be hard for Samuel to do if he's gone on Monday, gone on Tuesday, okay he's around Wednesday he can teach his kids, gone on Thursday, gone on Friday, gone on Saturday. Look if you're gone from your kids all the time, you can't talk to them when you're sitting in the house. I mean if you're not there for family dinner, you're not there just talking to have a good time, how can you teach them? When they're rising up, think about getting out of a nap or waking up in the morning. I mean if you're gone, how are you going to teach them? When you're walking by the way, just walking by the way to 7-11 or walking by the way to going soul winning or wherever, but the idea in Deuteronomy 6 is that you're around your children and look if you're not around your children, you can't do this. You have to actually be around them to teach them. Now a lot of people would get this idea that everything in your life should just be church, soul winning, Bible reading, spiritual things. Now I don't believe that's the case and I want you to understand you can fulfill Deuteronomy chapter 6 while you're at McDonald's, while you're on a Valentine's Day dinner with your wife, while you're just walking to 7-11. We live very, very close to 7-11 so unfortunately I spend a lot of money at 7-11. It's like a one minute walk so we're there all the time. And so here's the thing though when we're walking and we walk by a cigarette, it's like look you can test my kids next week when they're here you can test my kids and say are cigarettes good or bad? You know Zeph and Christabel are going to be like they're bad. They destroy your body. You say here's the thing we're not doing anything spiritual when we're walking to 7-11 but you're walking by the way and what I'm saying is you should always be ready to teach your kids about the Bible and teach them lessons in life even if you're not doing a formal Bible study all the time. You can just go to the park have a good time, go on vacation shoot a soccer or shoot a basketball or whatever and you're doing something that's not spiritual but you can still teach your kids. And quite honestly I'm glad that I can have enjoyment in life and still be doing what's right in the eyes of God. There's nothing wrong with shooting a basketball or kicking a soccer ball or you know you know your kids are going to be involved in a lot of games that you know what you might not be interested in. Right now turn your Bible to Hebrews 12. Hebrews 12. Hebrews 12. You see at home I'm not brother stuck eating my kids. I'm daddy. Now my rebellious son Ezra I had to recently teach him this but I got him calling me daddy now. But it's like at home I don't want to be you know pastor stucky, evangelist stucky, brother stucky. I want to just be daddy. It's like dad can we throw this basketball? It's like sure son. I just want to spend time with him and just enjoy spending time with my kids. And what we're talking about is providing nurture to your kids. Look I was not raised as an independent fundamental Baptist. But I had parents that spent a whole lot of time with me. My dad turned down a lot of job offers to make more money because he didn't want to be away from the family. And he could have taken jobs to make 50% more money when our family growing up we weren't rich by any means. We were struggling. And he could have taken jobs to be gone quite a bit and make a lot more money and he turned them down. As a kid I didn't fully comprehend this but I understand as an adult the temptation. Take a job and make a lot more money but don't see your family. I'm glad I had a mom and dad that said you know what we're willing to sacrifice money to be involved in our kids lives. I can say that every single Saturday morning except during the dead of winter when it's impossible my dad and I went out to the public park and we were just kicking a soccer ball. We were shooting basketball doing whatever. I played in a lot of exciting big soccer games but the times I remember are just kicking a soccer ball with my dad. That's what I remember. You say why? Because kids want to have that relationship with their parents. Our son Ezra he can stand now and he first started standing and he'd hold on with one hand and then he'd look and it's just like yeah are you impressed mom and dad? It's like that's what kids are like. They want you to care about them. It might not seem like much as a parent but that's the most important thing to the kids. Every child wants to be like mom and dad at a young age. It's a fact. They want to be just like mom and just like dad. Here's the thing. If it's all spiritual but you never actually spend any time with them just having fun or doing something they want to do what could end up taking place is they could resent spiritual things. Now look I believe in soul winning and getting the whole family involved and we talked about that. At the end of the day though we try to make it fun for our kids and realize that often times kids are not able to go soul winning for as long as mom and dad. They get tired. They get hot. They need water or whatever. So sometimes we take them out and we come back because I don't want them to have a bad experience or start saying oh I don't want to go soul winning. Because if you ask my kids about soul winning they're excited. I mean Christabel the other day it's like 10 o'clock at night. It's time to sleep. She's like dad let's go soul winning. No. We're going to sleep now. I'm not saying that she fully understands it as a three year old but what I'm saying is that enjoyment is important. You need to nurture and spend time with your kids and look you start that before you go in the ministry. Because the ministry gets very stressful and it can lead to a lot of frustration and problems and you get upset sometimes. It's like you need to make sure you have that foundation of your family serving God publicly and privately and you're spending time together and you care about one another. There's nurture and the other thing is admonition. Hebrews 12 verse 5 And he had forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children. My son despise not thou the chastening of the Lord nor faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If he endure chastening God dealeth with you as with sons. For what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? Now look the last half of verse 7 is a phrase that I don't even know if you could say that in our modern day. Because the reality is there's a lot of sons and daughters that the parents don't chasten or discipline their kids at all. In 2023. What the Bible is saying is that you know what if you're a child your parents are going to discipline you. It's just the way it is. I mean if they love you and care about you they're going to say hey I got to make the corrections when necessary. They provide the nurture and also admonition. Now here's the thing. You need that balance. If it is all nurture your kids are going to grow up and be spoiled brats. Isn't that what you see with kids that just have everything and never have any discipline? Mom never says no. Dad never says no. But if all you do is provide discipline and you're just really tough on them then here's the thing that could also cause them to grow up and resent you and be very mad because look kids are going to make mistakes. I would say that for me on the balance sometimes I can be too strict with my kids and I can forget about the fact that hey they're young and I should not expect them to be experts at everything. Obviously every one of us who's a parent it is hard. Isn't it? You're trying to get that balance. You're trying to do everything right. It's difficult raising your kids and doing a good job. At the end of the day though if you do both nurture and admonition you're going to do a good job. Get that balance through the nurture but also correct your kids if they do wrong. If they do something wrong you tell them, you correct them in a loving way and sometimes that means discipline in terms of spanking and sometimes it might just mean you talk to them and say hey you can't do that that was rude. You need to make sure you say you're sorry or whatever. Verse 8 But if ye be without chastisement where of all our partakers then are ye bastards and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence. Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the father of spirits and live? Did you know that if you're a parent that disciplines your kids, your kids still love you? If you provide nurture and admonition your kids are going to understand. They're going to realize mom and dad love me, they're trying to help me out. It starts with getting your own house in order. That means the whole family is involved spiritually, publicly also privately and that you're doing nurture, spending time with your kids and also providing admonition. Now as I said I am not trying to convince people to go in the ministry with this sermon series. Because I think you can get just as much rewards in heaven without going into the ministry. And to be completely honest and I can't see in the future but if I knew that there's a family at our church that wanted to go in the ministry but it would destroy them I wouldn't ordain them into the ministry. I would just say no you know what they're better off not being in the ministry because it's not going to be good for them. And look as the husband, as the leader in the home, you got to figure that out. It's like is our family going to be successful? Can we do this? I mean because if it's going to just be too much on our family just don't go in the ministry. I mean you can be a great family at church and serve God and get rewards and look you don't have to go in the ministry. Now look if you do have a desire to go in the ministry then I'm not trying to hold you back. What I'm trying to do is prepare you. It's kind of like when people are getting married sometimes people say oh man it's the greatest thing ever you're never going to have any problems and it's like that's not really a proper balance that you should be giving people. Yes marriage is a blessing but just be honest with them and say hey but it's difficult because if they get this idea once I get married because everybody who's single has this idea once I get married all my problems will be gone and then you realize that's not the case. Once we have kids we're always going to be happy no problems, no once you have kids you're going to realize that's not the case. What you're going to realize is you know what there's always going to be stresses and problems in life and I'm just trying to give you a balanced perspective. If you want to go in the ministry that's great. Make sure you're ready for it. Make sure your house is in order. If there's anything that I said today that you are lacking because the reality is you know about yourself better than I know about yourself. If you're lacking in an area figure it out now and if you can't just don't go in the ministry. Your heavenly father thank you for allowing us to be here today and I ask you to help everyone understand this sermon. Help all of us that are fathers to be good fathers and to put our families above our jobs or you know even other spiritual things God. Help us make sure that we put our families first. We love and care about our kids and help all the families in here. Husbands and wives do a great job raising their kids and love one another and have strong families and I ask you to help men at our church that do have that desire and will one day go in the ministry help prepare them. Help them to make changes if necessary and we just pray these things in Jesus name. Amen. Amen for our last song let's get this hymn book and let's turn to page number 24 my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my