everybody here, welcome to Steps Church. If we can find our seats and grab a hymnal this morning in
song number 110, number 110, Savior Leads Me. Song number 10, I'll sing that out. Thank you so much,
and we just thank you for this awesome day to serve you and to sing unto you. We thank you for
these great songs, and we just ask that you help us lift up our voices unto you this morning.
Fill us with your spirit. It's in Jesus' name we pray. For our next song, let's go to song number
276, where he leads me. It might be a newer song to most. I'm sure you'll pick it up quickly if
you follow along. Song number 276, where he leads me. This church, if you did not already get a
bulletin you would like one, just lift up your hand nice and high. One of our ushers can come
by and get you guys on the bulletin. I'll get you one. We have Romans 10 as our Bible memory passage
for this period of time, and if you can quote the verse of the week, verse 7, then you can receive a
prize at our midweek service. So any of those kids that can quote that word perfect can get ice cream
at our Wednesday night service. On the inside is our service and soul winning times, and then our
church stats. Please keep keep up the hard work on our soul winning. Honestly, we did a really
fantastic job last year, and we want to try and match that effort or exceed it if we can in 2026.
We have several soul winning times there regionals. Those meet out in different parts of the DFW area,
and so honestly, we have people that live pretty much everywhere with east, west, south of the Dallas
Fort Worth area, and so sometimes these regional times are a great opportunity for you to kind of
meet up with some people that live in your area and go soul winning just to make it a little bit
easier. So if you're in one of these different parts of the city, you can ask one of these guys
and go out with them. There's also two ladies times. There's one that's kind of on the Fort
Worth side on Tuesdays, or I'm sorry, is that Thursdays with Miss Lucy, and then Tuesdays,
my wife does one near the Mid-Cities area, and so you got a couple ladies times, you
got several other times, so winning every day, so that's a great thing. On the right,
we have a list for expecting ladies. Several that are expecting, please be in prayer for
them. Also, if you go to our website, slash college, we have a listing of several different
churches, friends, and all kinds of people that are trying to organize college events,
and I'm going to try my best to keep that updated throughout the year. We're trying
to do an effort of just maybe visiting each of the colleges listed once for the year of
2026. We have a marriage workshop that's going to be coming up this weekend. We'll probably
be sending out an email in the next few days that just gives all the really specific details
and just hopefully, just as a reminder, if you have any other additional questions. I
did want to maybe just immediately following the service, if the people that were signed
up to do some of the child care help, if they want to just meet me after the service and
we can just discuss a few quick things as some reminders, that would be great as well.
And then upcoming events, we have a missions trip in the Philippines that's coming up
at the end of the month. Definitely in prayer for those who are planning on going. If you
have questions, Evangelist Furr is a great person to ask if you have any questions about
that trip. On the back is our prayer list and we have a lot of people on here. I know
we have a lot of families that are also out sick this morning and you know sick season
so just is it what it is but just be in prayer for everybody and really excited to be here
this morning. We'll go ahead and sing our third song, Psalm 11. Psalm 11 it's in our
hymn binders. Psalm 11, Psalm 11 let's all sing that out together.
Revelation chapter number three, follow along as we read.
Bible says, "And unto the angel of the church and Sardis write, 'These things
saith he that hath the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know thy
works, that thou hast a name that thou livest and art dead. Be watchful and
strengthen the things which remain that are ready to die. For I have not found
thy works perfect before God. Remember therefore how thou hast received and
heard and hold fast and repent. If therefore thou shalt not watch I will
come on thee as a thief and thou shalt not know what hour I will come upon
thee. Thou hast a few names even in Sardis which have not defiled their
garments and they shall walk with me in white for they are worthy. He that
overcometh the same shall be clothed in white raiment and I will not blot out
his name out of the book of life but I will confess his name before my father
and before his angels. He that hath an ear let him hear what the Spirit saith
unto the churches and to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write these
things saith he that is holy he that is true he that hath the key of David he
that openeth and no man shutteth and shutteth and no man openeth I know thy
works behold I have set before thee an open door and no man can shut it for
thou hast a little strength and has kept my word and has not denied my name
behold I will make them of the synagogue of Satan which say they are
Jews and are not but do lie behold I will make them to come and worship
before thy feet and to know that I have loved thee because thou has kept the
word of my patience I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation which
shall come upon all the world to try them that dwell upon the earth behold I
come quickly hold that fast which thou hast that no man take thy crown him that
over cometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God and he shall go no more
out and I will write upon him the name of my God and the name of the city of my
God which is New Jerusalem which cometh down out of heaven from my God and I
will write upon him my new name he that hath an ear let him hear what the
spirit saith unto the churches and unto the angel of the church of the
Laodiceans write these things saith the amen the faithful and true witness the
beginning of the creation of God I know thy works that thou art neither cold nor
hot I would thou work colder hot so then because thou art lukewarm and neither
cold nor hot I will spew thee out of my mouth because thou sayest I am rich and
increased with goods and have need of nothing knoweth not that thou art
wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked I counsel thee to buy of me
gold tried in the fire that thou mayest be rich and white raiment that thou may
be clothed and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear and anoint
thine eyes with I self that thou mayest see as many as I love I rebuke and
chase him be zealous therefore and repent behold I stand at the door and
knock if any man hear my voice and open the door I will come into him and will
sup with him and he with me to him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me
in my throne even as I also overcame and I'm set down with my father in his
throne he that hath an ear let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches
let us pray dear Heavenly Father thank you for this day I thank you for Steadfast
Baptist Church thank you for the unity and the fellowship that we have here
thank you for allowing us to sing praises to your name this morning please
bless now as pastor Shelley preaches your word please bless the remainder of
this service in Jesus name amen amen the Bible says in Revelation 3 verse 19 as
many as I love I rebuke and chasten be zealous therefore and repent and this
concept is being brought up here from the Lord Jesus Christ as instructions to
these churches is the idea of what I would call tough love tough love and of
course this concept is taught in the Bible repeatedly but we don't necessarily
see that phrasing of quote tough love we see here the example of love he says
very clearly in verse 19 as many as I love and then he's bringing up the
concept of what he's gonna do he's gonna rebuke and chasten them and so this is
why I would refer to as tough love and love today is often associated with the
ideas of compromise being soft tolerant but this is a bad idea of love and it's
actually not loving we should not be compromising we should not be soft we
should not be tolerating sin and really God is not like this God is a loving God
the Bible that even explicitly just states and a metaphoric way God is love
but God is not soft God is not a compromiser God does not tolerate sin
now he's long-suffering he's gracious he's merciful he pays for our sins but
it doesn't tolerate sin he deals with sin the Bible says for God is not mocked
for whatsoever man soweth that shall he also reap this is the Lord Jesus Christ
saying to the churches hey I I love you I will rebuke you I will correct you I
will chasten you chasten is to discipline chasten means that there's
actual actions and consequences to doing things that are wrong and we live in a
society today where people just don't love why because they're afraid of tough
love they're afraid of tough love and they don't want to exercise tough love
but we live in a world that has become soft compromise and tolerates too much
sin and too many problems and what we really need is we need people to
increase their love they have to understand that in some cases increasing
your love is exercising more tough love and we need a lot of tough love in this
world I had looked up online essentially what is the quote definition or
understanding of tough love and it was taking a firm stand trying to help
someone to grow or change and if you think about it that's actually implied
in the text as well notice what it said here in verse 19 it says be zealous
therefore and repent the word repent here is implying a change you know the
Lord Jesus Christ is not being tough on these individuals for no reason he is
simply wanting them to change he's wanting something to be different and
of course why is someone supposed to be loving towards someone well that's the
commandment we're supposed to love people I mean we're supposed to love the
Lord thy God we're supposed to love our neighbors herself that love is gonna
manifest itself in different ways in different situations sometimes love is
being merciful sometimes love is being kind sometimes love is helping people
but also love can be being tough on people it can be correcting people it
can be disciplining people and office obviously people that we often can
appreciate in our lives are ones that showed us some tough love you know if
you went to public school sometimes you have that teacher you have that coach
you have that instructor that was hard on you or was difficult on you or
challenged you or pressed you they were trying to help you grow and you know you
can appreciate their love looking back in hindsight maybe God willing your
parents exercise some tough love on you throughout your childhood maybe they
spanked you maybe they disciplined you maybe they told you no all these kind of
different concepts and you can look back fondly and think wow that person has
really helped me and of course the Bible itself does this God's Word and God
himself will constantly correct us and give us harsh lessons that are coming
from the Word of God to help us to grow and to help us to change and to be a
more godly Christian to be a better version of ourselves and so we should
appreciate tough love we should want tough love and a problem with our
society is we don't have people that love and we don't have people that are
exercising tough love and really I just have three simple ideas here that I want
to communicate this morning that we need when it comes to tough love number one
is we need to tell people that they're wrong he's gonna tell people that they're
wrong here I rebuke what is the rebuke there that is telling someone that
they're wrong sometimes you just have to tell people that they're wrong and if
you're not willing to tell people that they're wrong often as you don't love
them enough tough love will tell people that they're wrong number two tough love
will tell people no if you are in any position of authority over anyone you
need to learn this word no the word no you know we need to tell our Congress
no it's like now you know it's confusing to understand how our government even
works but they're supposed to pass bills that are beneficial to society none of
them want to do this and in an effort to get their bill passed typically what
they do is they compromise they're soft and they tolerate things they're doing
all of what I said is you should not do and in order to pass a law or pass
legislation you have to get everybody to vote yes well here's the problem
nobody wants to vote yes on any of this stuff so they just bundle them all
together like hey I'll vote yes on yours if you vote yes on mine and it's like
well that's still two people so then they're like we need to get another guy
you're like we'll vote on yours if you vote on ours and like hey we got another
guy we get another and then just have this bill that's essentially just
hundreds and hundreds of pages and it's basically just everybody brought to the
table their quote bill and they just like they just bundle together just this
nasty horrific legislation and then they just passed this giant bill because they
got 260 something you know Democrat Satan worshippers all vote yes they
didn't even write their bill some pharmaceutical company wrote the bill
and said hey we're gonna give you a half a million dollars if you can get
people to vote for this and they're like what is it they're like don't read it
you can't read anyways you're in Congress and they're just like okay and
so then they just like hey anybody want to vote for this and they're like what
is it I don't know okay sure and then they just vote they will pass bills and
they will openly tell the public no no one has read this no one even knows
what's in it where and then they say well we got a pass it to then figure out
what's in it and you think I'm joking I'm not even using hyperbole that this is
how our society works and let me tell you something that is why our country
keeps getting screwed up you know what our government should mostly be doing
just saying no what is the what is the police supposed to be doing in our
society just telling people no stop if you think about it this is how God works
have you ever noticed in the Ten Commandments that you get to the second
half and it's just thou shalt not thou shalt not thou shalt not thou shalt not
it's like thou shalt not kill and still and commit adultery thou shalt not covet
I mean it's just like no no no no and then you get to certain sections of the
Bible like Deuteronomy 28 and God just like oh yeah no no no no no it'll be
like do right don't do this so you go to Leviticus chapter 20 it's like don't be
a witch right thou shalt not suffer a witch to live it's like don't commit
incest with this person or this person or this person or that person you know
not your your mom on this side or your dad on this side or your cousin or your
uncle or this is like don't do this kind of stuff well the cousins implied sorry
you Muslims it's not literal but you probably need it to be literal here's the
thing obviously the Bible is just a giant book of no if you actually read it some
people just think like oh the Bible is just all this like flowery language
because they go to a church where all they hear is Psalm 23 all they read is
like Jesus wept and they're just like oh that's so sweet that's so nice they
don't remember Jesus Christ going into the temple with a cord of whips a cord
of whips he didn't come in with a whip he came in with whips and he drove them
out of the temple that's a no that's not only saying you're wrong that's not only
saying no this is what it is it's discipline so these are the three
concepts that you need number one you need to tell people they're wrong number
two you need to tell people no and number three you need to discipline
people you need to discipline people and it's just it's frustrating that we live
in a society that won't do this go if we would have second timothy chapter before
go to second timothy chapter before and this is not a sermon for men this is a
sermon for everyone if you're a mother you need to learn the word no I would
argue that women will probably have to say no more than men I mean dealing with
children is very difficult none of them come out of the womb obeying none of
them are ready to go there's you know and then unfortunately there wasn't even
an instruction manual that came out you know you know you want the instruction
manual it's this this is the only instructions that you have at the end of
the day you know there was some parts weren't even included batteries not
included and let me tell you something them obeying was not included them being
a liar a stealer a manipulator confusing wild crazy foolish stupid this is how
they came packaged the Bible says that foolishness is bound in the heart of a
child not only is it inside the Bible says that it's bound I mean it's one of
those toys that you cannot get the binding off of it you're trying to open
the thing to play with and you just like can't even figure out how to open the
package it's so frustrating and it's like this is how children are designed
that's how children come out of the womb and in this world you know we need we
need people to give people tough love you know why why is our society screwed
up it's because many people have not received any tough love in their life
and because of the fact that in some cases it's optional many people avoid a
tough love you know why would you come to church like said fast Baptist Church
well God willing you would actually want a little bit of tough love you know if
you want me to just be your best friend you won't last here if you just think
like hey you know what I just want I just want to like hang out with Pastor
Shelley and do fun stuff well that might happen occasionally but that is not
gonna be our primary relationship our primary relationship is gonna be me
saying things that are gonna make you feel uncomfortable on a regular basis
that is gonna be our type of a relationship and of course the more
that you get involved in church the more that we have similarities and hang out
and work together yeah the more we might build a friendship and we might be
friends but you know it's impossibly friends with everybody anyways you know
if people think like hey come into steadfast Baptist Church just my life's
gonna get easier yeah that's not gonna work out that's gonna fail very quickly
and again I'm not even just saying steadfast Baptist Church this is really just
church in general God willing if you go to a good church you're not gonna
necessarily become best friends with the pastor you're not gonna your life's not
necessarily gonna get easier you know you're gonna have challenges you're gonna
have difficulties you know at the end of the day you should go to church for
number one for the Lord Jesus Christ that's the reason why you go to church
most people are going to church for themselves they're thinking like what am
I gonna get out of it I constantly hear this complaint I hear this well I don't
I don't really want to go to church because I just don't feel like I'm I'm
getting much out of it wait a minute I thought you're supposed to go to church
for God what have you got nothing out of it it benefited you zero but you still
worshiped God well guess what it was still a win and it was still the right
thing to do because you know what you go to church to serve God and to worship
God and of course why would the pastor or the preacher get up and exercise
tough love on the congregation because he's hoping that people will worship
God even better oh man this this pastor he just wants me to go to church he's
just saying like he's trying to make me feel bad for not going to church well
let me explain something you when you don't go to church you're not worshiping
So if I do not exercise tough love on people and try to challenge people to go to church more, you know what happens?
The worship of God diminishes. Why in the world would I ever want to diminish the worship and the praise and the glory of God?
People should be challenged to get their butt in church because let me tell you something, we're here to worship God, not for you.
Not for your feelings, not to be close to your house, not to make you comfortable, not for the events, not to be my best friend.
It's to worship God.
And you know what? It's sickening how so many people have such a bad attitude about church.
They say, "I don't feel comfortable at this church." I don't care how you feel.
You know what? You're here to worship God. God created you. God gave you life. God reigned on this planet.
God was so long-suffering to suffer you in all your complaining and murmuring and the fact that you're lazy and selfish
and to give you so much good all the time. You can't even get your rear into church and sing a couple songs?
It's sad. It's sick. And then people say like, "Ah, this pastor, he's just trying to make people feel bad about not going to church."
God! Because you know what? Let me tell you something. I love God and someone nice to tell people to get into church.
"Oh, it's not a good church for my area." Well, you know what? That's sad.
You know how many people would love to go to an old IV church? I don't know. How about anybody from the 1400s?
How about anybody in the 1500s? How about anybody in the 1600s? You think that William Tyndale is over here complaining about,
"Oh man, there's not an amazing church near me while he's being killed."
He's getting his throat slit and burned at the stake for even just owning a King James Bible.
And yeah, I'm going to call it a King James Bible because 85% of what he translated is literally the King James Bible.
So yeah, he basically had a King James Bible for believing in salvation by faith.
Oh, you know, this church over here is pretty true.
Okay, well the church options for them were going to kill you for believing in faith alone. How about that?
People have such a bad attitude and they need to be corrected. They need to be told that they're wrong.
You not wanting to go to church, you're wrong. You have a bad attitude. You need to fix it.
You know what? You need to have the right mindset of even why you're here. You are not here to be catered to.
You are not here to be served. You are not here to get a free t-shirt.
You are not here to get free food and free coffee and juice for your kid.
I'm not here to hold your hand. I'm not here to be your best friend.
I'm not here to tell you yes to every little whim and fancy that you have.
You know what? You are here to serve God or you have the wrong attitude.
We are here to serve the Lord Jesus Christ. That is the point of church.
Let us not lose that. And let me tell you something.
I love spoiling people and unfortunately I spoil people.
What I mean by that is I like being a church that is very gracious, is very kind.
That we do a lot of events. We have a lot of fun stuff.
I go beyond the pulpit and I try to be people's friend. I try to hang out with people. I try to do stuff.
Look, there are so many churches where the pastor has a policy that they will not even be friends with their congregation.
They are not going to have them over to their house. They are not going to pal around with them.
They are not going to show up ever not dressed like this.
They won't go and go work out with you. They are not going to go play basketball with you.
They are not going to go do fun stuff with you.
They are not going to come condescend and hang out with you because they don't want to lose their image.
They are afraid of changing the status or anything like this.
But I like hanging out with people. I like just being normal and just being like with everybody else
and acting like everybody else,
and not pretending like I'm some extra special person
over here or something like that.
Yeah, I'm the pastor of the church,
but at the end of the day,
I'm still just a normal random dude.
And you know what?
I can just be like that.
Hey, we can just have so much fun.
We invest so much money into events and conferences
and soul-winning things.
There's so many people that have come to me
and they're just like,
"Hey, I wanna do this soul-winning trip.
"Hey, I wanna organize a marathon over here."
And it's just like, yeah, let's pay for it.
Yeah, let's take you.
Yeah, let's go.
You know, there's people that I've allowed to go out
on trips that I'm thinking like,
man, that was such a waste of money.
I mean, we had like an all paid expense trip
for Seth Bookout to go run a soul winning marathon
in the past.
And I'm thinking like, man, if you can say yes to him,
you can say yes to anything.
I mean, this guy flew around the world
and still thinks it's flat, you know?
I mean, it's just like, how in the world?
But you know, at the end of the day,
it's like, hey, I like doing those things.
But you know what happens?
People start to get really, really ungrateful
and lose sight of why they're even in church.
And they start thinking like, oh, well, you know,
this person got juice on their trip, and I didn't get juice.
This person got to stay in this nice room,
and I didn't get to stay on that nice room.
And it's like, oh, well, you know,
this person gets to sit over here in the sanctuary,
and I sit over there, you know.
Just people just get so pedantic about the littlest,
dumbest things, and it just makes me mad.
Because let me tell you something.
This church is about the Lord Jesus Christ.
Hey, you want to complain about something in our church?
Show me where we're not worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ.
That's a complaint.
Show me where we're not trying to honor
the Lord Jesus Christ, and hey, let's fix it.
But let me tell you something.
When you start getting nit-picky about,
hey, they ran out of shirts of my size,
of my particular specific size at the conference or whatever,
it's like, what a bad attitude.
Hey, why don't you show up early and maybe you get one?
Hey, why don't you just show up at church on time?
It's like, people get mad about where they sit
or where they're going to have service.
It's like, Jesus Christ is having a church service
in a field.
How comfortable do you think that was?
They're having for like days,
like all their pastor's sermons are long.
How long do you think it was for their sermons?
Here's out there in the field for days.
He's like, man, we haven't fed them in like days.
You think they had a nursery program?
They're checking people in and out in the field?
I mean, like, it's like people just sit here.
They have so many modern conveniences today
and they complain more than people that way less,
way less, harder problems, bigger issues.
And you know why?
Because they have a bad attitude.
You know what?
Somebody's having some tough love on them
and tell them that they're wrong.
What does it say in 2 Timothy chapter four, verse two?
Preach the word, be instant in season, out of season,
reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
Let me tell you something.
The pastor's job is here.
Does it say be best friends with everyone?
Give everybody free stuff.
Lots of free, fun, cool things.
I mean, like, you know, if you're gonna get mad
at your pastor or your preacher or your church,
like show me where this is not in line.
Oh, he never preaches on hell.
Okay, well that would be something
that you shouldn't bring up to the pastor.
Hey, you never mention hell.
You never preach on hell.
That would be a legitimate concern
to bring up to your pastor.
Hey, you never seem to correct the congregation on any issue.
Hey, there's this person over here
that's in a severe egregious sin that's open to the public.
Everybody's knowing about it, everybody's talking about it,
and you won't seem to address it or correct it.
You know, that would fall under the line of this, right?
'Cause you're supposed to reprove, rebuke,
exhort with all long-suffering doctrine.
Hey, pastor, I seem to fail to understand, like,
the book of Revelation.
'Cause you've never taught on Revelation ever.
'Cause you never bring it up.
Hey, I'm struggling in this one concept.
Hey, you never preached this book of the Bible.
Hey, what is Leviticus 20 13?
'Cause you've never explained it, ever.
You know, these are legitimate criticisms to a pastor,
to a preacher, when you say like,
hey, you're not preaching.
Hey, you're not reproving.
Hey, you're not rebuking.
Hey, what does this mean?
Hey, you're not explaining things.
Hey, when you said it was repenting your sins
and then you said it's not, but then it is,
but you have to have fruit, but you don't.
What did you mean?
But then it's like, people get mad at churches
that are preaching hard, preaching the word of God,
explaining the truth, encouraging you to go to church.
Why?
Because they don't have your juice.
They don't have your favorite little delicacy.
They don't have the chair that you want.
They're not next to your house.
Like none of that's in the Bible.
Or they leave church because you know what?
The pastor actually got up and said something
the Bible says and it applied to them.
The pastor preached about me.
Good, you needed it.
Do you want round two?
I'll preach on you too.
Look, you need to be preached against.
We need some tough love in this world.
You really, I mean, you really just like look around
in America and just think like nothing needs to change.
Everybody's good, everybody's got it.
Everybody dresses well, everybody is very respectful.
Everybody acts well.
Society is running very efficiently.
Government is in good shape, good control.
Doctrine, I mean, we're just rock solid, locked in.
Doctrinally, America could not improve.
Yet we have churches that are filling America with what?
This compromised, soft, tolerant love.
Now look, if every church in America was like ours,
where we're just ripping on sin and ripping on issues,
and then it's like, hey, we're just still in the same boat,
then let's address it.
Let me tell you something, this kind of preaching
and the preaching of God's word
will not cause those kinds of problems.
Obviously we need balance.
I'm not against a sermon on grace.
I'm not against a sermon on emphasizing charity.
Obviously the Bible describes the importance of charity.
But let me tell you something,
we get so much of that from just even society.
I mean, I go to work and I've gone to lots of workplaces
where they're literally just talking about the Bible.
And again, they only feeding us the diet of charity.
It's like, it's weird.
It's like, hey, let's all be gracious.
Hey, let's pray for people.
Let's do good.
Let's be kind.
It's like, you go to the public school,
they'll teach you that message.
You go to Alcoholics Anonymous
and they'll teach you that message.
You join any kind of a do-gooders club.
Boy Scouts of America will teach you to be kind
and to be gracious to people.
Just society as a whole will be like,
hey, just be kind, just be gracious,
give people second chances, blah, blah, blah.
It's like, you know what?
Messages are not telling you,
hey, we need some tough love here.
And they get mad at that.
But you know what is a preacher supposed to do?
He's supposed to correct people.
He's supposed to rebuke people.
He's supposed to exhort people.
And again, there's a difference
between long suffering and tolerance.
And again, long suffering is allowing people time to change.
Giving people, you know, this is basically
before the consequence, before the discipline kicks in.
But it's not necessarily toleration.
Toleration is like, I'm not gonna do anything about it ever.
Long suffering is like, I'm gonna give you some time
before I drop the hammer.
And these are two very different concepts.
Now, going over to Galatians chapter four,
I wanna look at another verse there.
I'm just kind of giving you an overview,
a sampling of what the sermon's about.
Then I just wanna talk about it in certain situations.
There's more than enough in this particular concept
to talk for hours and hours and hours
because this is a subject that can comply
to every area of our lives.
And we need to be constantly reminded.
Number one, we need to tell people that they're wrong.
Number two, you need to tell people no.
And number three, you need to have consequences for them.
And look at Galatians chapter four verse 16,
the Bible says this, "Am I therefore become your enemy
because I tell you the truth?"
I try to emphasize this in my ministry,
but I say the most important thing
is that when we communicate, it's true.
And you know, I don't believe that at the end of the day,
the truth is gonna harm people.
Now, obviously the Bible brings up this idea
and this concept of speaking the truth in love, okay?
And that's a concept that we should apply in our lives.
But let me tell you this,
that is not what most people think that it is.
In fact, we should probably just go there.
I forget exactly where that's at.
Can someone help me remember where that is?
'Cause I was reading it earlier this morning
and I was thinking like,
this is not what people think that it is.
Someone look it up.
But when we talk about loving people,
again, what do people think?
Compromised, soft, tolerating.
Compromising, soft, tolerating.
We're not supposed to,
you can't speak the love by compromising.
You can't speak the love by tolerating.
Ephesians 4, that's where we're gonna go.
Ephesians 4.
Let's start in verse 14.
The Bible says this,
that we henceforth be no more children,
tossed to and fro and carried about
with every wind of doctrine,
by the slight of men and cunning craftiness,
whereby they lie and wait to deceive.
But speaking the truth in love,
may grow up into him in all things,
which is the head, even Christ.
So think about this.
Speaking the truth in love is gonna cause something.
What is it gonna cause?
Growth.
What does tough love do?
Tough love is giving people growth and change.
So in fact, speaking the truth in love is not about,
and this is what I think most people think.
It's like you're really nice about it.
Speaking the truth in nice.
Speaking the truth in kindness.
Just be really, just be loving.
But again, that's what society will tell you.
That is not what the Bible is meaning.
Speaking the truth in love is often
the concept of the tough love that it's bringing up.
That's what it's actually meaning.
That I'm communicating a message to somebody
because I actually want to help them.
And if I want to help them,
then I'm gonna give them the loving message,
which is something that they need to change.
Notice when the Lord Jesus Christ said,
"As many as I love, I rebuke and chase him."
That's speaking the truth in love.
If you don't love, you won't give the tough message.
So don't, this is what people like to do.
They love to cherry pick these verses.
And then like modern versions and stuff
always word these things in weird ways.
And then they try to twist it into something else
and you'll get up and you'll tell someone harshly
that they're wrong.
And they're like, "No, no, you need to speak with love."
You're like, that was the most loving thing I could do
was rebuke the fire out of them, okay?
That's what they need.
They need to realize this is serious.
You know, people that work
in certain industries are dangerous.
If you work in electrical,
electrical is extremely dangerous.
If you do something wrong,
you will kill yourself.
You will kill yourself.
Especially if you're working in high voltage.
If someone were to do something dangerous,
you know, not only can they kill themselves,
they can kill and harm their buddy.
Their buddy could be working on a wire
and they ask their friend, hey, go kill this wire.
And they think that their buddy did a good job.
They didn't kill the wire.
They make a mistake because they thought it was dead
and they kill them, they die, they injure themselves
because their buddy's negligence.
Someone that makes a mistake in this area
doesn't need to be like, "Oh, no big deal."
No, they need to be scolded.
They need to be corrected sternly.
This is dangerous.
This is something that you should be yelled at.
You should be rebuked.
Why?
Because you're trying to help them with love.
And let me tell you something.
This world is like playing with electrical wiring.
That's why pastoring and preaching,
many times they need a strong rebuke
to be warned of the power that exists in this world
because it's dangerous.
This is a dangerous world.
The Bible talks about there being perilous times.
The word perilous means danger.
We live in dangerous times with dangerous people,
with dangerous consequences.
There's so much danger in this world.
We need someone to get up and warn about the danger,
about the high voltage that is in this society.
And let me tell you something,
speaking the truth in love is not saying,
oh, it has to be so nice.
It has to be so kind.
It's about the motivation to wanna help them grow
or to help them change.
That's where it's coming from.
'Cause obviously I could say something that's true
that's not gonna necessarily help them
in a sense that it's gonna give them an opportunity
to grow or change.
This is where I would just say,
just insulting someone doesn't really necessarily
speak the truth in love.
It could still be the truth,
but it may not necessarily be effective.
If it's implied what they did wrong,
then it could still be effective.
I'm not even saying insulting's necessarily wrong.
If you say, hey, you're being an idiot
because you're doing this,
I'm not gonna say that's necessarily wrong.
But if you say, hey, you don't even know what you're doing,
you're an idiot and then you don't help them,
that wouldn't really be speaking the truth in love.
You should give them the opportunity to what?
To grow and to change.
And a pastor getting up and preaching,
there's nothing wrong with scolding people in a sense
or using harsh language or even using pejorative terms.
But you would wanna give people the opportunity
to grow and change.
That's where you're gonna balance out
speaking the truth in love.
You're speaking the truth in love
because you're trying to help people grow.
Why?
Because you don't want them to be taken advantage of
by bad doctrine, by the cunning craftiness
where people are lying and wait to deceive.
Think about the context here.
How is you going around just being really nice to people,
gonna help them be warned from predators
and false teachers and heretics that,
oh, he was so nice.
Now I don't wanna listen to heretics.
You know, like that doesn't even fit the context.
Okay, the context is obvious that what it's saying
is that you're gonna use strong language,
tough love on people and exhorting people,
rebuking people.
You're gonna call people out, you're gonna name names.
You're gonna do all the things necessary.
You're gonna speak the truth in love to help people grow
and to help people change
and to help people be on the right path.
I'm glad we went there
just to get a little bit better in our minds.
'Cause I just don't want you to sit there
and get poisoned by society on one of these words mean.
Oh, speaking the truth in love,
Pastor Shelley's not speaking in love because he's harsh
and he uses scolding language at times.
The Bible does.
I mean, how many times the Bible calls someone a fool?
Are you gonna tell me insults are wrong?
God insults people incessantly in the Bible.
But he doesn't just say like, "Thou fool,"
and then it's like the verse is over.
He then explains why the person's a fool.
He then explains why this person should change
or why they should grow or not be like that
and helps them to go beyond just being insulted.
Sometimes you need the insult, though,
to get your attention.
Hey, this is a big deal.
Hey, you're being really dumb in this particular area.
You need to make a change.
Go over to Proverbs chapter three,
go to Proverbs chapter number three.
Praise God that he not only tells us that we're fools,
he tells us why we're fools and wants us to change.
Praise God he doesn't always just tell us
that what we're doing is right
when we're doing something wrong.
He'll tell us that we're doing something wrong
and then tell us how to get it right.
So, you know, we need that instruction,
just like a child would, just like anybody.
And again, it's not like just only children.
Children just need a lot of correction.
They need a lot of instruction.
The Bible kind of uses that parallel.
Proverbs chapter three, look at verse 11.
"My son despised not the chastening of the Lord,
neither be weary of his correction.
For whom the Lord loveth, he correcteth,
even as a father, the son in whom he,"
notice this, "delighteth."
A father constantly correcting his son
is a sign of what the Bible describes love.
It says that the opposite is a sign of not love.
A pastor that is constantly ripping on his congregation,
is constantly exercising tough love,
is a pastor that loves their congregation.
A pastor that is often preaching soft,
is preaching weak, is tolerating things, is not loving.
And this is where people get confused.
I'm telling you, this is an epidemic in our society today.
People think Sunday morning needs to be a nice message.
Why don't you preach a nice Sunday morning sermon?
Why don't you preach a positive Sunday morning sermon?
Why don't you preach an uplifting Sunday morning sermon?
Why don't you do the, you know what?
Because people need some tough love.
And you know, if that's what the Bible said,
if I could just let the Bible always like,
pastors, preach a positive message.
Pastors, preach a nice message.
Then you know what, I'll get up and I'll do it.
I always try, I'm like, oh, preach, okay,
chapter and verse and I'll preach it this morning.
Show me.
Because it's like, every time I let my Bible fall open,
it's like, Jews are the synagogue of Satan.
You guys are wicked, you're liars.
You know, fornication is gonna kill you.
I mean, just like that.
It's like, what part do you want me to preach?
And even the nice parts, it's like Psalm 139.
It's like, but have you read all of it?
'Cause yeah, I know it says,
I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
I mean, isn't that a, you know,
some people think of Psalm 139
as one of the nicest Psalms in the Bible.
'Cause that's the only part they've ever heard.
They're just like, oh man, I just love Psalm 139.
You know, I'm fearfully, wonderfully made,
and so beautiful, it's okay.
They just don't get all the way down to the bottom,
where it's like, do not I hate them, oh Lord, that hate thee?
Am I not green with those that rise up against thee?
I hate them with perfect hatred!
That's Psalm 139 too.
Now again, sometimes people in the new IB get so zealous,
they're like, I'm just gonna focus on that for a song.
I'm gonna forget the fearfully, wonderfully made crap.
You know, let's just get to the hard stuff now.
You know, let's just make that a chorus.
And I'm like, okay, let's go.
You know, if the fun centers can cherry pick
only the nice parts of the Psalms every once in a while,
we can cherry pick the mean part of the psalm, you know?
Now look, every psalm I've ever written,
I wrote the whole thing.
You know, it's just like, hey, except for psalm 119.
Okay, sorry.
There was a reason why that one was not done in entirety.
Okay, we get it.
But at the end of the day, you know,
we need to be corrected.
And it's not something that's negative.
It's something that's positive
because notice the Lord loves people he corrects
and he delights in them.
You want to correct people because you delight in them.
You love them.
Why would I preach a compromising message?
Why would I preach a soft message?
Why would I preach a tolerated message?
Because I don't really love you.
I just want to take advantage of you.
Why do messengers weaken the message?
Because they'd want to take advantage.
But I thought that was the whole point
of Ephesians chapter number four
was speaking the truth and love
so that people wouldn't be cunningly
taking advantage of you.
They wouldn't be deceiving you.
They wouldn't be holding something back.
They wouldn't be, you know, reserved.
So speaking the truth and love
is actually saying the gnarly stuff.
Not speaking the truth and love
is holding back, is being deceitful, is being cunning.
Why cunningly preach the nice sermons in the morning
and just make sure that they tie.
Who cares if they actually get things right in their life?
Who cares if they actually have a good marriage?
Who cares if they're actually earning rewards in heaven?
Who cares if they actually are on a pathway of destruction?
Because as long as they're just coming on Sunday morning
and I'm just telling them the nice little sweet song,
so kind, the kind pastor.
You know, how many churches today in America
run five, six, 700 on Sunday morning
and 60 on Sunday night?
That's weird, because I thought,
you know, do you think like God in heaven is like,
man, I just hope people worship me on Sunday morning.
Sunday nights, I don't want to be worshiped at all.
Wednesday night, nah, I don't want that.
I only want Sunday morning worship.
Why would a pastor emphasize one service over another?
Is there just a special,
is this a special window to serve God?
The only time to serve God is Sunday morning on Easter.
Or like, why wouldn't every service be encouraged?
Why wouldn't every opportunity to worship God
and serve God be on the table?
Why wouldn't you try to emphasize every single opportunity?
To me, if you really love God,
you would try to get people in the church building
as much as possible,
going out and preaching the gospel as much as possible,
getting every area of their life fixed as much as possible.
You know, that is what true love is,
and it's a tough love sometimes.
You know, we have to exercise this on our children,
literally, since we're on this subject
and we're in this passage, you know, what is it saying?
The father who loves his son, right?
As the father, as a father,
the son in whom he delighteth.
Now, Proverbs has a lot more to say on the subject.
Let's look at a few others.
Let's go to chapter 13 for a moment, go to chapter 13.
Let's apply some of our tough love this morning, all right?
You know, and we all need some tough love,
especially our kids.
Proverbs 13, the Bible says in verse 24,
he that spareth his rod, notice what the Bible says,
hateth his son, hateth, but he that loveth him,
chasteneth him at times.
This is on the, basically the projection
of where we were talking about,
the scale or the direction where we had.
You first tell them they're wrong,
then you tell them no, then you correct them.
So we're already at the final stages
of where you would apply tough love.
And the Bible is saying that the parent
that actually loves their kid
has to get all the way to the end stage regularly.
Notice what it said, "Chaseneth him the times."
This is talking about disciplining him early.
Obviously the implications also often.
And of course the Bible emphasizes this,
that children are gonna eat early and often.
Discipline, discipline.
Not only are you telling them they're wrong,
not only are you telling them no,
you are disciplining them.
Why?
Because children cannot simply just be corrected by words.
Now, God willing, if they could,
I don't need to exercise any kind of discipline,
but let me tell you something.
There is no kid that doesn't need to be disciplined.
All of them need discipline.
They come out needing discipline.
Now, of course, the loving parent will do that.
You know, notice it doesn't say like,
oh, the loving father never has disciplined his kids.
He's just such a good example.
I mean, he's just Mr. Perfect Dad,
so his kids never need to be spanked for discipline.
No, no, no, no.
I don't care if you're the greatest man
walking on this earth,
your kids are gonna be needing some discipline.
And the father who loves his kids will discipline them.
He will spank his kids.
He will discipline them regularly.
Go to chapter 22, go to chapter 22.
Yes, I spank my kids.
You know why?
Because I love them.
The Bible even doesn't even use that word.
It uses the word beat.
I mean, if we were just gonna use biblical language,
it says, "Thou shalt beat him with the rod."
It doesn't say even like a little spattle, you know,
a little paddle, it says a rod.
And of course, you know, you use this type of language
and the world loses their mind.
And look, I don't think that you should cause
physical injury to the child.
I do not believe that you should permanently
damage them in any way.
And of course, that's what most people are against.
I think any natural, normal person would be shocked
and horrified if someone was permanently damaging
their children or injuring their children.
But let me tell you something.
There is a seed of learning that the rod of correction
needs to be applied to.
That's how they learn.
Proverbs 22, look at verse 15, the Bible says,
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child,
but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
What actually helps your children obey?
It doesn't say the verbal correction.
It says the physical discipline.
Why?
There's just something about it that children
can not only be corrected by words,
they need physical discipline.
You know, you look at liberals and they'll say,
"Oh, I never spanked my kid."
It's like, we can tell.
And you know who's gonna do that to them later?
Some police officer pretty soon.
When they go and they spit on the police officer
and they yell at the police officer,
"You know what the police officer's gonna do?
He's gonna get maced and he's gonna mace them in the face."
You know how many leftists have been,
they carry like these milk jugs around
and they have to like pour them on their face
because after they get maced, it just hurts so bad.
I mean, look, I've never maced any of my children.
I would actually say like, that's wrong.
That's harmful.
That's like really damaging to them.
You could really cause some serious injury,
but you know what?
You don't get disciplined as a child.
You're gonna get maced by the police
and then you get thrown down by the police.
You might even get a knee on the neck, you know?
And the police don't love you like mom.
Mom's knee on the neck won't kill you.
Neither will Derek Chauvin's.
No, I'm just kidding.
That's a joke, all right?
Drugs kill, fentanyl kills, okay?
Sorry if you don't like that narrative,
but let me tell you something.
Hey, drugs will kill you in society.
Praise God for the moms that beat you and say,
"Don't take drugs."
Praise God for the mom that beats you
and doesn't allow the alcohol to enter your system.
And you go get in a bar fight
where a guy will literally relocate your face,
relocate your jaw like Jake Logan.
Because as an idiot, he thinks he can box
some giant black guy that's like an actual pro,
an elite guy, just running around like a clown.
And then he just gets beat down like the idiot that he is.
You know what, he needed a mom to beat some sense into him.
And let me tell you something,
if you don't allow your parents to beat some sense into you,
you know what, society will beat some sense into you.
It's not like, "Oh man, spanking your kids is so awful."
No, let me tell you something,
we're trying to warn them from the consequences of this life.
And what's even worse is hell itself.
And how many people are not fearing God and fearing hell
because they were not spanked as a child?
'Cause they think, "Oh no, no, my parents didn't spank me,
"so why would God spank me?"
It doesn't make sense.
But this is what they don't understand,
their parents didn't actually love them.
"Oh, well, if you love your kid,
"I love my kid too much to spank them."
Lies.
That is the lie you will hear from society.
It is false, it is not biblical, it is not true.
You sparing your rod are the one that hate your kid
because you're allowing the foolishness
to be stuck to them.
If you loved them, you would beat the foolishness
off of them.
In this particular chapter, it says in verse 17,
I'm sorry, I think I'm thinking of another.
Go if you would to chapter 23 and look at verse 13.
It says this, "withhold not correction from the child,
"for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
"Thou shalt beat him with the rod
"and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
Of course, discipline leads to good doctrine, apparently.
Notice this, discipline leads to good doctrine.
And the correction here goes beyond just simply verbal,
because when it says correct, what is it using?
It's saying specifically the rod of correction.
And if we think about it, we're supposed to beat him
with the rod and we're gonna deliver him.
Hey, this child needs correction.
Don't withhold it.
Don't hold back.
Give them what they need.
They need discipline.
And man, I'm just telling you, kids need it.
Look at chapter 29.
This is where I wanted to look at verse 17 as well.
Proverbs 29, let's look at verse 15.
The rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself bringing his mother to shame.
Moms that won't spank their kids
are gonna end up suffering consequences as a result of that.
Because here's the thing,
if you discipline your kids appropriately,
they can still be dumb.
They can still be a fool.
I mean, they can still make you embarrassed.
But let me tell you this,
if you don't,
you're guaranteed that they're gonna make you look stupid.
So it's like, hey, I'd rather be over here
where at least I did my job and I gave them a chance.
Whereas, hey, if you don't,
you're basically just saying,
for sure you're gonna embarrass me at some point.
I mean, if you just let,
I mean, think about this.
And again, I'm not trying to be harsh,
but it's some tough love, all right?
Let's have some tough love this morning.
Where we're gonna go soul winning this morning
or this afternoon,
where we typically go soul winning,
are those kids being lovingly, given affection?
Are they being lovingly disciplined?
Are they being lovingly corrected?
Or are they allowed to kind of just do whatever they want?
I mean, to the point, so an extreme.
I mean, they're running, roaming around,
running off, doing whatever, going wherever.
I mean, their parents don't know where they're at.
They don't know what they're doing.
I mean, they are left to themselves.
What is the result of society of that group of people?
When we go into these poor neighborhoods
and these poor apartment complexes,
where there are children that are not with a father
in the home, where their mom doesn't know what they're doing,
where they're left to themselves.
They're going to hang out with whomever.
What do they do?
They typically join gangs.
They get involved in criminal activity.
They go down bad paths.
They're uneducated.
They're not respectful.
They're doing evil.
They're doing wickedness.
I mean, what is it gonna, it's just a shame.
It's a shame and it's embarrassing.
And as a whole, it's just so obvious.
We don't see a bunch of doctors and lawyers
being brought from that particular environment.
You know, we also don't see,
is a bunch of godly Christians who wanna fear the Lord,
who don't take drugs, who don't commit fornication,
who listen to godly music,
to show up at church three times a week,
who dress themselves, who even can know how to use a belt,
who can fill out a job application form,
can actually go to work, start a business,
make money, help society, benefit people.
You know, people are always so mad at business owners,
but you know what, how would you even have a job
if people didn't start businesses?
You're welcome.
I mean, very few people in this room could just say like,
I literally don't even need anybody else.
I just started my own business, my own company.
I'm just a self-sustaining farm over here, just manned up.
I mean, pretty much all of us are benefiting
from someone else owning some kind of business
or company and running it.
You're welcome.
I just don't like the man.
The guy that's literally giving you a job,
the guy that's literally feeding you, you don't like him?
I just hate the man.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
And honestly, you know what's even sad
about society in America is most people
do not bring in more money into their company
than they actually cost the company.
All they're really doing is the boss is just trying
to give himself a little bit of time back in his life
and he's willing to pay the extra expense
to just have you on board.
And he's constantly frustrated
by how lazy everybody is at work
and how they don't wanna help and how unethical they are
and how they don't really do anything
and they don't add value
and they're just kind of frustrated
thinking like it's so hard to find good help these days.
But you know what, they could just all be selfish
and scale down and not hire anybody.
And then how would you like it?
You wanna live in the great depression
where unemployment is 6%, 10% higher than that,
where people can't find jobs,
people don't have any money,
people don't have any food.
Oh, I'm just so mad at the man.
I'm so mad at everybody else.
I'm so mad at society.
Why don't you get mad at the moms
for not spanking their kids
and teaching them some manners
and teaching them to work hard
and to drive the foolishness out of their heart
instead of just being a taker of all society,
a taker of life.
You know, how many young people today
are growing up hoping to be an influencer?
That's not gonna pan out.
You know what you need to do?
Become a plumber or become an electrician
or go out and get a trade or get a skill
or benefit society or start a business
or do something with your life.
Because let me tell you something,
most people aren't gonna be influencers
and the people that are influencers are idiots.
They're living a life that I'm thinking like,
who would wanna live this life?
And you know what, they're servants of sin in many cases.
Because the only reason they became popular
is because they got into a genre
that's just extremely sinful.
And now they're a sinful influencer
and they can't get out of this prison
that they've made for themselves.
And so they just have to live in this sinful,
wicked lifestyle until YouTube shuts it off.
Oh, but you know, mom spanking their kids,
this is the problem in America.
No, that's, the problem in America
is they're not spanking their kids.
Problem in this world, and look, look at Europe.
Europe is a train wreck.
Europe is a disaster.
And let me tell you something,
Europe is some of the worst countries
when it comes to wanting to spank their kids
and discipline their kids.
In fact, there are laws against it
in many countries in Europe.
And they're crumbling at the seams.
You know, Asians don't necessarily have the same heritage
as Europeans as far as just proximity to the Bible,
churches, church history, and all this kind of stuff.
But in some ways, they follow God's commandments better,
if you think about it,
where they actually discipline their kids well,
where they actually enforce a lot of biblical principles
when it comes to the Proverbs,
and look at how their societies in many cases run better
and are smoother, are safer.
They have better outcomes in a lot of categories.
Why?
Because you know what?
God's word works whether you believe it or not.
And it also will be a disaster in your life
if you believe it or not.
You not spanking your kids will be a disaster.
You will be a disaster, they will be a disaster,
and we're all gonna watch the disaster with you.
Look at verse 17, Proverbs 29, verse 17.
"Correct thy son, and ye shall give thee rest,
"ye shall give delight into thy soul."
If you have zero rest and zero delight in your kids,
'cause you're just not disciplining them,
you're not spanking them.
And in church, we are a family integrated church,
we love having the kids in the church, I like it,
and sometimes it can have a little bit more noise
than a typical church.
I mean, every once in a while I visit an old Ivy church,
and I'm just like, man, this is what it's gonna be like
in heaven when there's silence for 30 minutes.
It's like you come to our church,
there's always a distant cry and scream and whatever.
And occasionally there's a little bit of ruckus and stuff.
And that's not that bad.
But obviously if your kid just literally
just starts bursting out and screaming and crying
or doing anything like that,
you should just immediately take them out of the service.
Don't reason with them.
Don't delay, just walk out.
And if this is a regular occurrence,
you should probably sit as close to the exit as possible.
You know, some people on the aircraft sit near the exit.
You need to sit near the exit.
Not only that, if your kids are bullying other kids
in the church, that's not OK.
You should spank them.
You should discipline them.
They should not be bullying other kids in the church.
And look, I'm not mad at the bully, because kids are bullies.
I'm not even that mad at kids when they're mean.
I'm mad at a parent that won't discipline the kids.
I'm not even mad at a parent that has a kid that's a bully.
I'm just mad when they won't deal with the bully, OK?
That's what makes us mad.
All of us are in the same boat.
All of us are in the same way.
It's like, I see a kid being mean.
I'm not like, "Oh man, these parents suck."
No, it's like, "Hey, this kid's being mean."
And it's like, "Meh."
Then I'm like, "You suck."
If they're like, "The kid's mean,"
they're like, "Let's go."
And you're just like, "I like this guy."
You know, he dealt with it.
He dealt with the issue, okay?
I don't get mad when parents have bad kids
or kids make mistakes, 'cause that's life.
That's just reality.
You know, it's frustrating when they won't deal with it.
Why?
Because there's a lack of love there.
There's a lack of love for the child.
There's a lack of love for yourself.
There's a lack of love for God.
There's a lack of love for us.
It has to be around that.
And at the end of the day, you know what?
A church that's gonna be of love
is gonna discipline their kids,
is gonna spank their kids.
You know, you come to a church,
like Steadfast Baptist Church,
yeah, we emphasize these things.
You know, we even want you to have your kids
well-behaved in the mother/baby room.
'Cause God willing,
the women in the mother/baby room
actually still wanna hear the service.
You know, there are some churches
where you go to the mother/baby room
and it is like a gossip circle.
You can't even hear the sermon
because they're just all sitting there gossiping
and talking about whatever.
Why would you go to church to gossip?
Like, that's weird.
What if we had a room over here in the corner
where all the men could go
and watch the Cowboys game during the sermon?
Like, go to the bar if you wanna go watch the Cowboys game.
Why in the world would you show up at church to do that?
And again, I'm not saying that your kids
can't be a little bit more rambunctious in that area,
but if they're screaming and crying in that room,
take them out of there too and deal with them.
Parents and mothers should be afforded
the opportunity to hear the sermon.
And of course, why do we let that?
I mean, obviously younger kids,
like 18 months and 12 months,
sometimes they just can't sit still literally, physically.
So just by being able to just kind of move around
a little bit and graze and they have some fence line,
it's not an electric fence or anything, okay?
It kind of helps them be able to send the service, right?
Whereas if they were here, they'd just be mowing around,
someone tap on you and you'd be like,
what's going on?
This is weird, right?
So we have a mother bear.
It's not a go and just scream and be wild
and throwing stuff and causing people problems
and pushing everybody around.
That's not where that room is designed for.
And you know what, that's not loving to be like that.
And look, I'm not, I will tell my kids
why they did something wrong.
I will instruct them why they're being disciplined.
But you know what, I am not gonna reason with a toddler.
Do not reason with toddlers.
They're a toddler.
It's just like, I'll see people,
their kid will do something wrong in church.
It's like two years old and they're just sitting down.
They're like, all right, now pastor said
we're not supposed to get off the stage.
And pastor said that we shouldn't push people around
on Twitter and the kid's just like eating his boogers
and doing whatever.
And you're just like, bro, just beat him.
Just be like, no, that's how it works.
It's like, why are you sitting here talking to him?
Like he's a liberal in college or something.
It's like, you shouldn't even argue with them.
The police are just like, throw him on the ground,
cuff him, buck him.
We're not gonna give him any kind of wisdom.
We're gonna read you some Miranda rights.
That's what it should be.
Parrots should just be Miranda rights.
You're the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be used against you
when dad gets home.
It's like, this is how it be.
And it's like, we're gonna discipline you now.
This is jail.
Dad's prison later, you know?
You're gonna have to stand before the judge.
I mean, this is how parenting should be.
And let me tell you something, you need to be consistent.
You cannot expect your children to obey
at a restaurant, in public, or in church
if you don't do it at home.
At home, they shouldn't be allowed to just act
like a leftist, a BLM protester.
They shouldn't be allowed to do this kind of things.
You need to be spanking them all the time.
Because if you allow that as a regular basis,
how would they know the difference?
It's gonna be too inconsistent.
You need to be steadfast in your discipline.
If you're struggling, my wife, to try and help our kids
behave at certain difficult seasons,
would literally just, during the week,
have them sit on the couch and they have to watch a sermon.
You just have to sit there and just watch a sermon.
And if they got up, if they acted wrong,
she just immediately disciplined them, just right there.
It was intense.
Some of y'all need that, no, I'm just kidding.
Some people come here and just sleep.
It's like, pay attention to the sermon, wake up.
But I'm just saying like, hey,
you can make these things work.
They can happen.
The reason why they don't happen
is because you just won't make it happen.
But you need to love your kids.
And look, you're gonna reap what you sow.
If you don't put any love in your kids,
if you don't discipline your kids,
if you don't tell them they're wrong,
if you don't tell them no,
you will reap the consequences and they're ugly.
Why would you wanna reap those consequences?
You know, I don't wanna reap those kinds of consequences.
I like the fact that, you know,
my family and I can go out to a nice restaurant,
even though there's, you know,
more of us than I can get a reservation.
Yeah, I can never get a reservation online.
It's just like, oh, if you have a party of seven or more,
you have to call.
And it's just like, you call and they're like,
we have to get you into our booking agent.
You know, it's like, we have to call
and talk to our catering specials or whatever.
It's just like, dude, it's our family.
You know, it's just like, oh, we're gonna have to talk
to the manager to see if we can even accommodate you
but then it's like you show up and hey, we're nice.
We're kind.
Our kids are usually well-behaved.
I would say this not because I'm special.
I don't think we're special at all.
I think our kids misbehave a lot
but it's like just without fail.
It's like almost anywhere we're out in public,
people are just walking up just like,
wow, your kids are just so well-behaved.
Wow, they're so, you know, acting nice.
Wow, that's just like amazing.
Like, how do you do that?
They don't have tablets.
You don't have them strapped down, you know, duct taped down.
You don't have to do this with, it's just like,
and again, I'm sitting here thinking like,
we're sitting over here like complaining about our kids
not even being that well behaved at the table.
And then other people are just thinking like,
"Man, they didn't tear the entire establishment down."
And I'm just thinking like, you know,
this is sad that we're somehow getting complimented
this much.
We should not be complimented this much.
People should honestly be like,
"Hey, your kid was a little bit rowdy."
And it's like, "You're right."
I wish that's what they were saying.
You know why they're saying that?
Because society is so bad that if you're even halfway
normal, it's just like you stick out.
Okay.
Look, there's plenty of families,
there's plenty of people I've learned,
and I'm like, "Wow, their kids are well-behaved.
"They're much better-behaved than my kids,
"or they're doing a really good job."
Like, I don't think that we're necessarily
some special group.
I think that, you know what?
The Bible stands out in the midst
of a crooked and perverse nation.
And I think every single person in this room
could be in the exact same boat,
and many are in the exact same boat, okay?
But let me tell you something.
You need to show some tough love to your children.
I wanna apply this to a few other areas
before I end the sermon.
One other thing that needs to happen
is pastors need to show tough love to their church as well.
And this comes into telling congregants
that they're wrong.
That's not always fun.
It's not fun, it's difficult to discipline your kids.
It's even more to tell an adult or to tell other people
that you just know on a friendly basis
something that they're wrong on.
Correcting people, making people feel uncomfortable.
Often people say I'm a people pleaser as a personality type.
To me, that's just a lack of love.
And again, that might just be your default.
That's gonna be what you're normally accustomed to doing.
You kinda act that way.
But you know what, that's not the right way to act.
You cannot be and you should not always
just be a people pleaser.
You have to be tough with people
and you have to be firm with people
and you have to tell them that they're wrong.
And you have to tell people no.
And you know, at this church,
we have to tell people no all the time
and for all kinds of different reasons
and all different situations.
And look, not everybody gets to do everything.
You know, not everybody gets to be the song leader.
If you are terrible at singing, the answer is no.
You could be awesome at singing
and we just have a lot of other people that,
frankly speaking, have been with us longer,
moved up the packing order.
And so it's just a no for now
because it's just like, hey, position filled.
I mean, you could go be a great employee
and go apply at some company
and they're like, sorry, we're just filled right now.
And they don't want to drop someone
that's been loyal to them,
someone that's doing a good job,
even if you are technically a little bit better
because they want to show loyalty
to the people that are showing loyalty to them.
And so it's like, hey, I want this position.
Okay, why don't you show some loyalty first?
Why don't you just sit and wait your time?
And then when the door opens, then step in,
then be ready to fulfill that position.
Then be ready to do a good job.
You know, not everybody gets to preach at our church.
Not everybody gets to fill the pulpit.
And honestly, no matter what people have done in the past,
I pretty much reevaluate this on a regular basis.
What I typically think of is I just think like,
hey, here's an opportunity to preach.
Here's a man's preaching tonight.
Here's an event.
Here's a thing.
And I just let people do stuff.
And I just see, how did they do the last time?
And I reevaluate.
You know, we had a preaching event recently.
And John of this Virgin did a great job.
He preached a really good sermon.
That was impressive.
That stuck out to me.
You know, other people stick out to me sometimes.
And I'm thinking like, hey, maybe I'm
going to ask that person the next time
and see if they want to preach a sermon
or see if they want to step in and do a good job.
You know, lots of people want to involve themselves
in our music ministry.
And we're pretty liberal.
We let a lot of people come up here.
But obviously, if you're just going to cause problems,
show up late, you know, the answer is no.
If you don't want to actually do a good job,
if you don't want to like practice,
if you don't want to invest, hey, there's different roles.
You want to be a soul-winning leader.
Hey, you're going to have to meet certain criteria.
You're going to have to step up.
You're going to have to be consistent, right?
You want to, you know, I'm sorry, evolve and move on
and move up and become like a soul-winning captain
or a tribe leader or something like that.
Hey, you got to be consistent.
You got to be steadfast.
You got to be a good example.
You got to be putting effort and energy in.
Hey, you want to involve yourself
in the ministry at a church?
You want to actually be in and plugged in and doing more?
Hey, you better show yourself faithful.
I mean, you want to be on staff at a church?
How are you going to do that
when you won't even show up to church?
You know, the staff is showing up early,
staying late at every event, every function,
doing all kinds of stuff.
It's like people that are half-hearted for a church
then won't want to work for one?
That doesn't even make any sense.
You want to be an evangelist?
This is what's sad.
It's like, oh, I want to be an evangelist
or a full-time evangelist or I'd love to go travel the world.
And it's like, they don't even go soul-winning now.
Or they'll go soul-winning sparingly.
Or it's a light thing to them.
You know, it's like you want to lead
a soul-winning missionary journey
and you won't even go on a missionary trip?
You won't even lead a soul-winning time here?
Like how in the world are you supposed to lead
in evangelism when you can't even lead here?
And let me tell you something.
If you want to stick out in soul-winning at this church,
you have to go hard.
You know, we put out some simple statement on Sunday night,
just a track record of how people could see
how they did throughout the year.
And of course, it's only supposed to be something positive,
encouraging, you know, just to try and encourage people.
The Bible says in the specific numbering,
like 30, 60, 100.
I mean, man, there's tons of people
that got like 30 people saved in our church
or helped in that effort.
That's awesome.
But let me tell you something.
There was people that went way beyond that.
Don't look at that and think like you're bad or something.
It's not, look, if you got one person saved last year,
praise God.
Now, if you got no people saved
'cause you didn't go soul winning,
hey, you need to work on that.
Hey, if you didn't put as much effort in as you could
and you look at other people doing more
and that motivates you and that encourages you to do more,
praise God, go out and do it.
And no one sees the number of hours that we put in.
Nobody knows exactly how God's gonna reward anything.
But at the end of the day,
people don't like to count numbers
and don't like to keep score,
usually suck at playing, okay?
God kept numbers.
Hey, God's like, hey, this church got 3,000 saved
this particular day.
God's saying some get 30, some get 60, some get 100.
Why would God bring up numbers specifically
if he hated numbers or counting?
You know, God's not offended by math.
One, two, three.
He actually has an entire book called "Numbers."
Now, when people get all like bitter and prideful
and envious about numbers,
then you'll strike them down fast.
Okay, but there's nothing wrong with counting numbers
and using that to motivate ourselves
and encourage ourselves.
And you know what?
To push ourselves to serve God greater.
And we should have a scorecard a little bit on ourselves
because we want to make sure that God is pleased with us.
You know, we're not keeping a scorecard
to be pleased with ourselves.
We want to make sure that God is pleased with our efforts
and our energies and encouraging ourselves to do more.
But let me tell you something.
You know, it's, if you tell someone to go soul winning
or whatever, they could get offended.
Ah, what are you saying, yeah.
And then why do people attack soul winning?
Because they're offended because they're a do nothing.
Ah, why do you keep numbers?
Well, you can't keep numbers 'cause you don't do anything.
Your number's just a zero.
So that's why you don't like numbers.
That's the only reason you get mad at anybody else
for having numbers, because you're just a zero.
You know what, we're not zeros over here.
And let me tell you something, soul winning matters
and soul winning is important.
And if everybody had your attitude,
everybody would just go to hell.
You know, we actually wanna get people saved around here.
And sorry that you go to a church
where the pastor doesn't emphasize soul winning
and just wants to do quote alter calls
and get the same teenager saved every single year
by confusing them and teaching them
that salvation's lordship salvation.
But let me tell you something.
We actually wanna see people saved.
We actually want aggressive numbers and big numbers
and to challenge ourselves and motivate ourselves.
And you know what?
When someone gets more or does better than us,
I'm thinking like, praise God, I wanna be like him.
I wanna be like Matthew Stuckey,
Pastor Stuckey out there in the Philippines
getting, I don't know,
20 something thousand people saved in the year.
That's awesome.
Praise God.
You know, we should bless people like that.
We should be encouraged by people like that.
And it's like, oh, it would be nice to be Pastor Stuckey.
Well, you know what?
You're not Pastor Stuckey.
'Cause Pastor Stuckey is one of the most hardworking,
diligent, selfless people I've ever met.
Super smart, super energetic, super hardworking,
very selfless, puts all of his money and effort energy
into the work that he's doing,
served humbly and faithfully at a church
for years and years and years before he was able to go out,
gets paid virtually nothing to live in a, you know,
obviously not as luxurious a life as Americans,
to live in a foreign country,
to not speak the same language as most people,
to have humbler means is a sacrifice.
And when people aren't even willing to sacrifice here,
how in the world are they gonna sacrifice there?
And you know, oh, I wanna be, I wanna be Pastor Stuckey.
I wanna be Evangelist Duncan or Bannock.
Well, you know what?
Not everybody gets to be that person, no.
Well, I just wanna be a pastor
'cause it looks like so much fun, no.
First of all, you shouldn't be a pastor
'cause you have the wrong idea what it's like to be a pastor.
Fun, yeah, okay.
You know, some churches need to learn no.
It's like, hey, I wanna be a pastor.
Sorry, no females, right?
Number one, just no females.
The answer is just no.
How many churches won't even say no to that?
They can't even just say no to women,
let alone men that are qualified.
It's like, just say no to women.
All women, no.
Men, then they have to meet certain qualifications.
That's called no.
Look, there are people that want to be pastor
and they just, on paper, it's just a no.
And you know, you have to just say, hey, no.
You know how much I enjoy that conversation?
Zero.
I don't like that conversation.
But sometimes you just have to say no.
There are some pastors and there are some churches
in this world where it is an automatic yes.
If you want to get ordained by them, have fun.
But it is not an automatic yes here.
There are some pastors where they won't even put
almost any energy and effort.
You can be there for six weeks and they'll ordain you.
You can be there for six months and they'll ordain you.
Doesn't even matter if they agree on doctrine.
You can have your, there are some churches out there
where they say, do you believe in anything weird?
And you're like, yeah, I believe in the flat earth
and they'll still ordain you, not weird.
Like you needed to say no.
And then there are some people that will meet
all the qualifications and I'll still say no
because I just don't think it's a fit.
And, you know, at the end of the day,
I think that people need to be great preachers.
And I, you know, I've maybe evolved a little bit on that,
but obviously when you ordain people,
like they're not always gonna pan out.
They're not always gonna work out,
but you don't want it to be because on paper
there was something obvious that you missed
or there was something that you neglected.
You know, I think that the ordaining pastor
is responsible for what's on the surface
and what is on the paperwork.
You know, if the guy seemed like a good guy
and the congregation liked him and on paper it looked good
and you sent it out and it was a dud.
Well, that's just life.
That's how it's gonna work.
I mean, maybe you're newer to church.
Maybe you haven't been around church a lot.
Pastors come and go.
Churches come and go.
I mean, it's crazy.
I mean, just churches have been associated with us
or friendly towards us or, you know,
some variation in there of pastors that have come and gone
in the last five years, 10 years, whatever.
I mean, they just come and go.
And not only just bozos, like some of them were just like,
well, okay, obviously.
Bill McGregor, okay.
Tyler Doca, yeah.
I mean, this guy is just like crazy.
Sometimes they're bozos and they last.
It's like, how is Tyler Baker still pastoring a church?
Now he killed Valiant Baptist Church,
no longer exists, he changed the name.
You know, people like Pastor Joe Jones had a church,
killed it and changed the name.
So it's no longer Shield of Faith,
it's something like Heritage of Grace, Bible, something.
I don't know, a whole bunch of nom the nom words
that don't make sense.
Sounds like a sermon he preaches.
Just churches come and go.
You have pastors like Pastor Grayson Fritz,
starts a church, or not a start, sorry,
takes over a church, just runs it into the ground.
And look, you're gonna have good people go out,
work hard and fail.
You're gonna have good people quit.
You're gonna have good people give up,
because that's life.
And it's not to mean that they're even a bad person.
Because think about it, to basically become a pastor,
you have to just reach such a high standards,
it's a high level to get to do that.
Even if you end up walking away, quitting,
moving on, retiring or whatever,
that doesn't mean that you're not a good Christian.
It just means, hey, this just isn't working out.
You're not cut out for this.
And you move on with your life, okay?
But at the end of the day, pastors are coming and going
and even great people are coming and going.
I mean, there's a public statement put out this weekend.
Pastor Roger Menes is stepping down from pastoring
a Verity Baptist church, you know, that's crazy.
That is crazy.
And look, I told Pastor Dylan Oz before he got ordained,
I said, look, five years from now, the new IFB,
whatever that is, is gonna look radically different
than it is right now.
Look, we're only like a year and a few months in
to that statement that I've made.
We're not three years in, we're not four years in,
we're not five years in.
And look, why did I say that?
Because this is how life works.
And you know what, sometimes you have to say no.
You have to say no to people,
you have to say no to yourself,
you have to say no in all kinds of different circumstances.
And you know what, my heart goes out to any church
that loses their pastor because it's devastating.
It's devastating.
And I don't think people understand
how devastating it is to lose their pastor,
but you know, and praise God,
God really orchestrated a lot of things for Steadfast
to where we kind of kept things just going
and then even started doing good.
That is not the typical situation
when a pastor steps down
or they lose their pastor or bad things.
It typically goes in the opposite direction.
You know, and I would pray that Verity Baptist Church
would take some serious steps to address this
because it's serious.
Losing a pastor.
You know, what does that church need?
Every church needs.
They need to be told that they're wrong.
They need to be told no.
And let me tell you something,
they need some discipline, every church.
And you know, when I came into this church,
I told people that they were wrong,
like Adam Fannin's wrong and you know what?
He needs to stop being the evangelist over there.
He needs to be told no and he needs to be fired.
That's discipline.
That was before I even stepped foot on the premises.
That's before I even was you know,
the church was even like in agreement necessarily
that they wanted me.
I put this, I put out a video like on Thursday
and then it was like Friday,
they made like a public meeting
where they're just kind of like confirming the fact
that they're even interested in me becoming their pastor.
So I don't, you know, praise God it worked out I guess.
I told Pastor Anderson I don't really wanna go up there
to a church that doesn't want me.
And so, you know, at least it was nice
to have some consensus of some people saying like,
"Yeah, we do wanna at least rally behind this person."
Because why would you wanna move your family?
I mean, look, being a pastor is so hard.
It's so difficult.
There's so many challenges.
And if great men can't always make it work,
if great men are falling by the wayside,
who are you to think that you aren't gonna succumb
to the same pressures, the same difficulties?
I mean, we should take heed unto ourselves.
We should be careful.
I mean, people have this idea like,
"I could probably preach three sermons a week."
Here's a question.
Could you get hundreds of people to come listen to you
of their own voluntary time?
Could you get people to drive an hour,
an hour and a half across the state
to come hear you preach for an hour?
Would they stay after you rebuked them,
after you corrected them?
Would they have any questions as to something weird
that you said in the middle of the sermon?
I mean, people just think like,
it's just so easy to be a pastor,
and it's just so easy to teach the Bible or whatever.
Look, it is one of the hardest jobs you'll ever face.
It is difficult, there is pressure.
There is, and not only this,
some people, they run a church of like 12,
and they're like half cousins,
and then they think like it's easy to pastor a church.
Look, pastoring a successful church of hundreds of people
is not for the faint of heart.
It takes so much time, effort, energy,
and this is what it really takes.
It takes a blessing of God.
Without the blessing of God, it will not work.
I don't care how smart you are,
I don't know how talented you think you are.
It is so difficult.
And you know what, we should pray that Verity Baptist Church
will still be able to do whatever the Lord's will is.
And you know, it's sad.
But let me tell you something,
that church needs some tough love.
'Cause everybody needs tough love.
We need tough love.
And we have to make sure that we are exercising
the tough love of the Bible on ourselves
on a regular basis.
I wanna go one more place, go to Ephesians chapter five,
go to Ephesians chapter number five.
Now there can be a tendency for people who wanna go soft.
There can be a tendency for churches who wanna go soft.
People who go soft in their old age,
when they become grandparents.
Don't become soft.
There's a tendency when a church becomes successful
to go soft.
I don't wanna do that.
You know, if I was caught between a crossroads
and they said, Pastor Shelley, you can go a little softer
and your church can just start growing like a weed
and you can have this big building,
you have a big budget, you can have all this money
and you don't ever have to work a secular job ever again.
You can just pay yourself whatever
and not have to worry about that and think about that.
You gotta kinda have to soften up a little bit.
Or you can just preach as hard as you want,
but you're gonna start losing some more people.
You're gonna actually shrink a little bit.
You're just gonna be stuck in that orange ugly building
in the middle of Cedar Hill.
Just like, bring on the building!
You know what, we have enough pastors
that won't say what needs to be said,
and I just don't want to compromise on that issue.
I will piss people off.
I will frustrate people.
I will challenge people.
But let me tell you something, it's because I love,
I love the word of God and someone needs to say it.
I love what the Bible says and I will thunder it forth.
I will make people feel uncomfortable.
And you know what?
I love people too much to just watch them
constantly waste their lives and waste their opportunity
and waste their potential and people to be too soft
on them to tell them, hey, you're being stupid.
Hey, you're being foolish.
Hey, you're being lazy.
Hey, you're prideful.
Hey, you're bitter.
I'm just too sick of no one telling them
what they need to be told.
I'm tired of the 30 minute sermon.
I'm tired of being worried about preaching
for 59 minutes and 59 seconds
than saying what needs to be said.
I'm just tired of it.
I'm sick of it.
Our culture's not going in the right direction.
People like Nick Fuentes are super popular.
That tells me America's scorecard is an F,
an F for liking faggity men and queers.
Andrew Tate, the guy publicly said
that he pretended to be a cam girl.
Why would anyone ever listen to a man after saying that?
The guy said that he would rather sleep with a tranny
than an ugly woman, than an old,
and he's not even ugly.
See, she said older to be specific,
but technically that's what he said.
I'm thinking like, dang, that is just,
you can't get much more faggity than that.
Like, what does a guy have to say
for you to never wanna listen to them ever again?
America's scorecard is an F.
And let me tell you something,
feminism is destroying our country at the seams,
and it makes me mad.
Makes me mad because you know what?
For feminism to work, you have to have men
that are feminists for it to work.
Because if every single woman in our country
was a feminist, you know what?
They could still do nothing to me.
You know what?
You need feminist men to be the police officers
and the judges and the politicians to make laws
and enforce them against other men.
Because you know what?
If my wife was like,
"Hey, I'm running away with half the bank account."
It's like, take it.
Come and take it.
Never gonna happen.
I'm gonna take money out of your paycheck.
Come and grab it.
I'm gonna take the kids away from the house.
Come and get 'em.
She can't do that.
But you know what the cops can do?
The cops can come and they can take it away from you.
The cops can come and enter into your little bank account
and take the money out.
The cops can do all that.
Why?
Because you have to have feminist men
to enable other men to take advantage of other men.
And it pisses me off.
Hey, you know what?
We should live in a society where men
get to actually tell their wife that they're wrong.
We should live in a society
where men can actually tell their wife, no!
We should live in a society
where men can actually discipline their wives.
And it's not taboo, it's not weird.
It's not like, oh, you're gonna sleep on the couch tonight.
Hell no, I'm not.
I might not sleep, but you know what?
I'm sleeping in my bed.
Hey, we might fight until the cows go home,
but you know what?
I'm sleeping in my bed.
Hey, you can survive your wife being icy.
It's like, man dies because his wife was upset with him.
Man dies after telling his wife no.
Man dies 'cause his wife was a little moody.
I could deal with that.
Hey, you know what?
I have to live with my wife for the rest of my life.
It's like, okay, I can just deal with the, you know,
the consequences of I don't like her negative behavior
for the rest of my life or her being moody for a day.
It's like, let's just pick the moody for the day.
Why would I pick for the rest of my life?
I just have to deal with this issue.
It's like, dude, feminism has destroyed our culture.
Ephesians chapter five, what does the Bible say in verse number 22, "Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as unto the Lord."
That means that men have rules for their wives that they have to say yes to.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as the Christ is the head of the church and
he is the savior of the body.
Therefore, as Christ is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
and everything.
Now this is what's important.
Verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself
for it."
Because that's not a period, who has a period at the end of verse 25?
I don't have the end of a sentence.
Let's keep reading.
"That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word."
That still doesn't end.
"That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish."
So if we actually read just the whole verse, not in the context, just the whole verse,
what is the context of just the verse itself when it says, "Husbands, love your wives"?
Does it say, "Husbands, love your wives"?
Never tell them no.
Never discipline them in any way.
Or does it say, "Sanctify them"?
Or does it say, "Cleanse them"?
Or does it say, "Wash them"?
And, you know, I'm not saying literally, okay, it says wash them with the word.
What does this do?
It corrects, doesn't it?
It reproves.
It disciplines.
That's what the Bible is saying is the context of a husband loving his wife is that he's
going to sanctify or cleanse or wash her and that she'll have no spot.
How in the world do you expect a husband to force his wife to have zero spot when he has
no ability to discipline her or correct her in any way?
How is that even possible?
And look, God is holding every husband, there's a scorecard on how he's doing with his wife.
His wife's behavior, God is judging that man for his wife's behavior.
Men should not allow their wives to go around being a slanderer and being a gossip and being
a busybody and getting into people's, you know, matters and causing problems and drinking
alcohol and causing issue in society, know that husbands should get his wife under control.
You know, husbands should get their wives in church.
Husbands should tell their wives no.
Husbands should say, "Hey, quit your job.
Why in the world?
I'm going to make the money, I'm going to pay the bills.
Take off the pants, put on the dress, get some long hair, take care of the kids, pick
up the paddle, spank the kids, make me a burger, I mean, come on, cheeseburger with bacon.
I'm bringing home the bacon so you can cook it, honey."
Now look, if you're mad at her for not making bacon because you won't bring home the bacon,
well that's your problem.
But let me tell you something, you bring home the bacon, you should demand bacon.
I don't know, I don't want to live in this society.
I want to live in this society.
I want to live in a society where you go over to a guy's house and his wife is serving
her husband, not where I go over and he's like, "Oh, we can't do that.
My wife won't let me.
We can't go in this room.
My wife won't let me.
Hey, the kitchen's closed.
The wife won't let us have this.
Hey, the wife won't let us wear shoes in the house."
What?
Say that again.
"My wife won't let us wear shoes in the house."
Wait, did you say you won't let us wear shoes in the house?
Or did you say she won't let you wear shoes in the house?
"Well, if you wear shoes in the house, she's going to have to clean up."
Right.
She's got to clean the house.
Isn't that part of the role?
Look, if you as the man say, "I don't want people to wear shoes in my house," praise
God.
Look at me, my wife doesn't let us wear shoes in the house.
My wife doesn't let us go in the kitchen.
My wife doesn't -- no, no, no, no, no, what?
Hey, you want to go play golf?
My wife doesn't let me play golf.
Hey, do you sleep in your bed?
My wife doesn't let me.
Look, this is -- look, that is where feminism takes you.
It takes you into society where it's like, "Hey, I didn't like that meal."
Oh, what did you say?
"I told my wife I loved it."
Why?
Like, why would I want to live the rest of my life eating the meal that I don't want
as opposed to just being like, "Hey, I didn't like this.
This wasn't good.
Fix this.
I don't want to do this.
Oh, but she'll be icy.
She'll be cold."
Look, I'm supposed to have no spot.
Men should be empowered in their houses.
They should be the king of their castle.
They need to have some tough love on their wives.
And let me tell you something.
It's not loving to not correct your wife occasionally.
It's not loving to never tell your wife, "No, hey, I want to buy this."
No!
Hey, the credit card limit has been reached.
Good!
No!
Just give it back.
Can we increase the budget?
No!
Can we go on this trip here?
No!
Can we go there?
No!
Can we buy this?
No!
Some men don't even know what I'm saying.
I'm trying to help you, okay?
N-O.
It's a word.
You should learn.
Hey!
Can we get this house?
No!
Can we buy this car?
No!
Can we go out to eat here?
No!
Can I put beans in the chili?
No!
Hey!
You're not allowed to wear shoes in the house?
No!
I'm going to wear them.
Ah!
You're going to make me clean up?
Yep!
Oh, you're going to change clothes again?
Then I have to do more laundry?
Good!
I don't really care if you like it or not, because, you know, I want things to get fixed.
And you know who needs to fix them?
Men.
Men need to be able to say no to their wives.
And we live in a society, we live in a culture, they'll say like, "Oh, if you're just such
a great example, your wife will follow all of your example."
Well, number one, I don't want my wife to follow my example because, you know what?
This is the example.
I'm not the example.
If my wife follows me perfectly, sometimes she'll be selfish, sometimes she'll be lazy,
sometimes she'll say interesting things.
You know, I mean, like, I don't want her to necessarily always follow my example.
And you know what?
Anyways, the man's supposed to be loud, boisterous, and a leader.
I don't want her to be that.
I want her to be a meek, quiet, submissive follower.
You know, this is the example she's supposed to follow.
And I have to remind her, "Oh, well, you're a sinner.
You cause problems, too."
Yeah, we all do.
But you know what?
I'm still in charge of her.
And I'm still in charge of my children.
And you know what?
I'm still in charge of this church.
And you know what?
We should have some tough love towards some people.
And you know what's wrong with society?
People don't love enough.
We should stop being afraid of tough love, and we should increase our love, and we should
exercise more love.
We need to tell people they're wrong, learn how to say no to people, if you want to ever
be a good leader, you have to say no a lot, say no a lot, and you have to hurt people's
feelings.
And sometimes you even have to exercise discipline, you throw people out of church.
That's why we have a good church, throwing so many people out.
You know why?
Hey, some churches, that's what they need.
They need someone to go in there, tell them they're wrong, they're no, and throw a lot
of people out.
Oh, how are you going to grow if you throw people out?
I don't know.
How did we grow?
Why is growing the thing that matters?
I thought everybody was trying to lose weight.
Just kidding.
You only want to grow in certain places, right?
And, you know, in your family, hey, please, please, please, tell your wife and kids no.
Please, you know, if you love them, if you love them, you'll offer some tough love sometimes,
okay?
It goes in prayer.
Thank you, Heavenly Father, so much for the Word of God.
Thank you for giving us tough love.
Thank you for correcting us.
I pray that you would just help our church to grow in our desire for tough love from
the Word of God, from the pastor, from our friends, from our families.
I pray that you would help wives to have a heart to receive correction from their husbands
to be willing to submit and subject themselves into their husbands.
I pray that you would give husbands a love for their wife to actually fix things in the
home and cause things to be good and for them to love the things of God, to love church.
I pray those that actually love you, they would get their butt in church and they would
actually try to worship you instead of being so selfish.
I pray that you would help increase our love for the loss that we go out and preach the
gospel.
And I pray that when we need to exercise discipline, we'd have the character and the
love to do it, and that we wouldn't spare, in Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Alright, for our last song this evening, let's go to song number 92.
Song number 92, how can I be lonely?
Song number 92, let's all sing that together.
One is walking with me over the sun, evenly supporting me, such fellowship is my blessed
only, my comforter should I be with me, training my fear enough to make them fly away, at cross
the door is lost to the key, then all with no key, my comforter's unportalation at the
door, at the sing of my age, will be there, should I be with me, by the sun.
Baptism this morning, Sister Deandra is coming for baptism.
Have you trusted Christ as your Savior?
Then I baptize in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Buried in the lightness of his death, raised to walk in the newness of life.
Make sure to congratulate our baptism, God bless, you are dismissed.