and welcome to Steadfast Baptist Church.
Thank you for coming this evening to Steadfast.
Let's find a seat and open your hymn books to page 22.
Find a seat and open your hymn books.
Page 22, are you washed in the blood?
Holy Spirit, may you help them preach boldly out of your word. We pray for all
the soul-owners going out to the Bahamas this week. Pray, Lord, that you would give
us many salvation out there and reap a great harvest in your name. Pray, Lord,
that you bless the fellowship in the service this evening. In Jesus' name I
pray, amen. Page 442 will be our second song this evening. We gather together.
Baptist Church. If you need a bulletin, you can lift up your hand nice and high.
One of our ushers can come by and get you guys a bulletin. We're really close to
finishing our Bible and Repassage Jude 1 verse 25. Also on the insides are
service and soul winning times. Please be in prayer for our expecting ladies. We
have our upcoming events. Please pray for our missions trip to the Bahamas this
week. Also
Some people have been saying like it could rain. I don't know exactly if it was going to rain or not
But just you know, maybe bring like a light jacket or just kind of a bucket hat or something like that might be a good idea
I just anticipate that you might need just something light or something
But it shouldn't be too big of an issue, but we don't know just pray that God will be gracious to us on that
Pastor Bruce, I mean he's gonna come October 19th and preach for us
He's gonna be preaching all three services the Spanish and both the English services that day
The fall swap is October 26th.
Chilli Cook off the 31st.
Some of our friends have a couple of events
that we have on our bulletin, November 5th and 9th,
this faithful word Baptist Church's Missions Conference.
The Anchor Baptist Church one year or it's the answer one year anniversary
Obviously it was a church plant. So it's been there for a long time
But this is a one year as anchor is gonna be November 23rd
And then we have a turkey bowl November 29th
Ladies Christmas party December 5th Christmas caroling December 8th cookie bake off the 21st
Christmas candlelight service the 24th and then a men's preaching and pizza the 31st on the back
our prayer list. We also have our insert for our church in the Philippines with
Vangester Bannock and the work that they're doing over there and they're
really doing a great work and so please please pray for them as well. So
that's pretty much all I have. We're going to sing our Psalm of the Week, Psalm 11.
Psalm 11.
Only other thing I would give you a tip is if you are going over to do soul winning in the bombas
You might just grab like a handful of stuff just to have for you
We'll bring invites and stuff too, but just a handful so you already have something
For yourself when you get over there. So it's one other tip Psalm 11
In the mornin'
The Lord tried the righteousness.
I'll be the portion of their club, for the righteous go.
I'll be the righteous judge.
In the meantime, you can turn in your Bibles to 2 Samuel 12, that's 2 Samuel chapter 12.
2 Samuel chapter 12 says and the Lord sent Nathan unto David, and he came unto him and
said unto him, There were two men in one city, the one rich and the other poor.
The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds, but the poor man had nothing save one
little eulam, which he had brought and nourished up, and it grew up together with him and with
his children.
and it did eat of his own meat and drink of his own cup,
and lay in his bosom and was unto him as a daughter.
And there came a traveler unto the rich man,
and he spared to take of his own flock
and of his own herd to dress for the wayfaring man
that was come unto him,
but took the poor man's lamb
and dressed it for the man that was to come.
And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man,
and he said to Nathan, as the Lord liveth,
the man that had done this thing shall surely die,
and he shall restore the Lamb fourfold,
because he did this thing and because he had no pity.
And Nathan said to David, thou art the man,
thus saith the Lord God of Israel.
I anointed thee king over Israel,
and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul.
And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah.
And if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things.
Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord to do evil in his sight?
Thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.
Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house because thou has despised me and has taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite
To be thy wife
Thus sayeth the Lord behold I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house
And I will take thy wives before thine eyes and give them unto thy neighbor
And he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this son for thou did sit secretly
But I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun
And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.
And Nathan said unto David, the Lord also has put away thy sin.
Thou shalt not die.
How be it, because by this deed thou has given great occasion
to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme,
the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.
And Nathan departed unto his house, and the Lord struck the child that Uriah's wife barren of David, and it was very sick.
David therefore besought God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night upon the earth.
and the elders of his house arose and went to him to raise him up from the earth,
but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.
And it came to pass on the seventh day that the child died,
and the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead.
For they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him,
and he would not hearken unto our voice.
How will he then vex himself if we tell him that the child is dead?
but when David saw that his servants whispered,
David perceived that the child was dead.
Therefore, David said unto his servants,
is the child dead?
And they said, he is dead.
Then David arose from the earth
and washed and anointed himself and changed his apparel
and came into the house of the Lord and worshiped.
Then he came to his own house.
And when he required, they set bread before him
and he did eat.
Then said his servants unto him,
what thing is this that thou has done?
Thou didst fast and weep for the child while it was alive.
But when the child was dead,
thou didst rise and eat bread.
And he said, while the child was yet alive,
I fasted and wept.
For I said, who can tell whether God will be gracious to me
that the child may live?
But now he is dead.
Wherefore should I fast?
Can I bring him back again?
I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."
And David comforted Bathsheba his wife
and went in unto her and lay with her.
And she bear a son and he called his name Solomon
and the Lord loved him.
And he sent by the hand of Nathan the prophet
and he called his name Jedediah.
because of the Lord.
And Joab fought against Reba of the children of Ammon
and took the royal city.
And Joab sent messengers to David
and said, I have fought against Reba
and have taken the city of waters.
Now therefore gather the rest of the people together
and encamp against the city and take it.
Lest I take the city and it be called after my name.
And David gathered all the people together
and went to Reba and fought against it and took it.
And he took their king's crown from off his head.
The weight were of was a talent of gold with the precious stones and it was set on David's head
And he brought forth the spoil of the city in great abundance
And he brought forth the people that were there in and put them under souls and under heroes of iron and under axes of iron and
Made them pass through the brick kiln and thus he did unto all the cities of the children of Ammon
So David and all the people returned unto Jerusalem. Let us pray
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day.
Thank you for blessing our church.
I pray that you would please bless us as we go to the Bahamas.
Please bless us with fair weather.
Please give us favor to get into the schools
and find people that are receptive to the gospel.
Please bless our trip, give everyone safety going there.
Please bless our sermon now.
Help Pastor Shelly as he preached it to us.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
I want to look it back at verse 15,
and I want to talk this evening
about the idea of grief and mourning.
grief and mourning and we have a story here where David is going through this particular situation it says in verse 15
and Nathan departed unto his house and the Lord struck the child that your eyes wife barren of David and it was very sick
David therefore besought God for the child and David fasted and went in and lay all night upon the earth
And the elders of his house rose and went to him
and to raise him up from the earth,
but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.
And it came to pass on the seventh day that the child died.
The servants of David feared to tell that the child was dead,
for they said, behold, while the child was yet alive,
we spake unto him, and he would not hearken under our voice.
How will he then vex himself if we tell him that the child is dead?
It takes about 7 days, what the Bible says, to go from the point that you realize there is an issue to the actual death.
Now, in this 7-day period, David is showing great mourning. He's fasting, meaning he's not eating whatsoever.
In fact, he doesn't even want to sit up or stand up. He's just pretty much just laying on the ground, praying, not eating,
asking God, obviously, to spare the child, to allow him to live, to not kill the child.
And this would be a form of mourning, right?
Just seeing your child dying,
seeing anybody that you care about dying,
being in the hospital, having problems.
They kind of are trying to prevent him from even doing this right? Did you notice what it said in verse number?
17 it says and went to him to raise him up from the earth, but he would not so like he's trying to fast
He's trying to mourn and his servants. They're like trying to prevent him from mourning the way he wants or fasting or doing these things
But he's kind of just steadfast. He's gonna do this. He's gonna have his mourning
Now, because of his resistance to them, because he's not reacting the way they want him to,
they essentially are afraid of what's going to happen when they are like,
hey, well, the child actually died.
They're kind of afraid he might hurt himself or harm himself or...
They're just not sure. They're afraid...
They say he's going to vex himself in verse number 18.
So they're kind of like afraid to tell him but David ends up kind of just David's smart
He kind of realizes what's going on that they're different something different
He can kind of just sense it right says in verse 19
But when David saw the servants whispered
David perceived that the child was dead therefore David said in the servants is the child dead and they said
He is dead
Then David rose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his peril and came into the house of the Lord and worshiped
Then he came to his own house and when he required they set bread before him and he did eat
Then said his servants unto him. What thing is this that thou has done?
Thou didest fast and weep for the child while it was alive, but when the child was dead thou didest rise and eat bread
And he said,
while the child was yet alive,
I fasted and wept for I said,
who can tell whether God will be gracious to me
that the child may live.
But now he is dead.
Wherefore should I fast?
Can I bring him back again?
I shall go to him,
but he should not return to me.
So a lot of things we can learn
from this particular story
and I kind of want to point them out.
You know, one thing it's not really part of the sermon,
but it's kind of a comfort thing is that
when parents lose a baby or a young one,
You know, you kind of wonder about, like, what's going to happen.
But based on this story, David felt very confident that his child was going to be going to heaven,
obviously, because he himself is going to go to heaven and he's saying he's going to go to it
or the child, but it's not going to come to him, meaning it's not going to come back to life.
It's dead.
But, this gives us hope for our loved ones and our babies and stuff that, hey, they're
just going to go to heaven anyways, and so you get to be restored to them.
You get to see them again, you get to hang out with them, you get to have that fellowship.
So, while it's, of course, a sad thing, it's a negative thing, it's still some comfort
that, hey.
It's a temporary separation. It's not a permanent separation and I'll still get to be with him
So that's that's one thing I just want to point out
But but I really want to focus in on the grief and mourning because what's interesting is it's like the servants won't let David
React the way he wants to. They're like upset no matter what he does, right?
He's trying to mourn and weep and they don't want to let him
They want to try and pick him up and they're kind of he's like they're kind of resisting his will
Then when the child's dead and he's just fine and he's not weeping in mourning
Then they're kind of mad at him for not crying and not doing you know what they expect them to do
And this is what I just noticed and I'm just gonna say it's a pet peeve of mine
But I think it's it's you know it just really irritating
is like people seem to just always tell other people how they should mourn and you know like
I personally just don't agree with this at all I think that you should be able to mourn however you
want and look we've seen this a lot I mean even with like the Erica Kirk thing people are just
always just like oh man she doesn't seem sad enough or one time I saw her smile or this person's too
And I feel like we should just be really careful not to judge people when they're going through
difficulty, when they're going through mourning, as like, well you're not having the right emotion.
Because at the end of the day, there is no such thing as the quote, right emotion.
We're all going to have different emotions, different feelings.
We can't control exactly how we're going to feel or how we're not going to feel.
And look, I think even people, they'll like ask me or people will ask people like,
how should I feel?
Or like, what am I supposed to do?
And it's like, there is no real answer to that question.
I believe that people can mourn however they want.
And I think that we should encourage people to be able to mourn however they want and not try to be David's servants and just like
Stop them if they're gonna cry and weep let them cry and weep
I mean their child's about to die
We should let them be sad if they want to fast if they want to pray. Why would we not let them do that?
and then if they're not sad about the death,
like they're gonna move on with their life,
we can allow people to move on with their life
because at the end of the day,
people have to move on with their life.
That is the end goal.
After there's a loss, after there's death,
or and it's not just death, just something bad happens.
Ultimate goal is to get someone to move on.
So if someone moves on quickly,
as opposed to taking a long time,
we shouldn't judge that.
Now I also think we should give space to move on to you know
I don't saying that you have to be David here if if you're still grieving and sad about you just lost your baby
We should totally like get that give people space
Allow them to have more time to grieve and everything like that
And obviously as time goes on is someone's lost someone that's special to them
If they've gone through a negative situation and they've had a sufficient time of mourning
then yeah, maybe we try to encourage them to try and, you know, move on and try to help them get past that.
You know, in the stages of grief and there's initial weeks and whatever, you know, we should give people time to grieve.
You know, I'm not going to give an exact timeline because there is no such thing as an exact
timeline.
It's always going to be discretion based on the event.
You know how severe the event is, how important the person was to you.
You know, obviously a baby is going to be very sad, but it's less sad for most people
than someone they knew more time, like someone that's been older.
The older the person is, typically the more sad it is as far as a child is concerned.
And if you get to the point where you're both an old age,
sometimes it's less sad just because you've lived a full life
and you got a time and it was kind of expected.
It's when it's unexpected and you've known the person
for a long time, usually in the prime of life,
you know, maybe a teenager or a young adult
or kind of middle age.
Those are typically the most extreme
because, you know, they lost a lot more.
their time or their value. You've got to know them a long time to get to know them well,
but then they still lost a lot of time. So that's typically some of the more
grievous times when someone dies. You know dies as a teenager or dies, but again,
it's not to say that every death isn't sad, it is sad.
But I'm just saying that obviously people are going to more differently.
There's going to be different situations, different timetables, different circumstances.
You know, some people's lives maybe aren't very busy or very hectic or a lot going on.
So they just are allowed to grieve because they just have the time.
And some people, they have a really demanding schedule.
Maybe they have a lot of other things going on in their life.
They don't have time to grieve. They have to move on very quickly.
You know, the king of Israel probably should move on.
You know, I mean he's got a lot of jobs.
He's got a lot of wives.
He's got a lot of other kids.
I mean, he kind of probably needs to move on.
And I would say this, let's say a woman lost her first and only child, she's probably going
to mourn a lot longer than a woman who loses a child if she has six, seven, eight, nine
kids just because of the practicality that she has to keep changing diapers and making
meals and doing whatever.
And so like it wouldn't be right to say, oh, well, you're not grieving like this other
or this lady is, you know, grieving for a short time.
You know, I just don't like this attitude.
And I'm just, you know,
maybe this is a little bit my personal opinion,
but I think that we should all be careful not to.
give other people expectations of how they should grieve,
how many tears they should cry, and all this stuff.
Now look, if you have a dozen parents
and all of their children were brutally killed
in a school shooting and zero of them
ever cry a single time, then yeah, it might be Sandy Hook.
But I'm just saying like...
You know, and that might be suspicious. Okay, but it's not like David didn't grieve over it
It's just he had the realization that once it's over. It's kind of over and so I'm just gonna move on
You know, I'm kind of the person that typically in my life
I lean more towards David in this situation where once things are kind of over I kind of move on pretty quickly
But but I this is what I also know not everybody moves on quickly with me
Not everybody necessarily is going to be the same and for David. It's not the same look at what it says in verse 24
And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, so she's not over it. She's still grieving
She's still having problems and so you know
I believe that what this verse is saying is that his wife was still sad, still upset and so he's coming to her and he's still helping her.
He's being kind to her. He's being gentle to her. He's matching her emotion even though he himself doesn't necessarily have that emotion.
OK, and I think that's important just because you can move on quickly doesn't
mean everybody else will move on at your timetable and I think it's important
for spouses to not force the other spouse to just have the exact same emotion
they have.
You know, a wife should not demand her husband grieve as long as her.
And a husband shouldn't demand a wife get over it as fast as her.
Sometimes you just kind of have to meet each other in the middle.
Sometimes you just kind of have to allow people to go through their own, you know, just their
own cycle of what's going to happen and what's going to go on through the situation.
And again, like I said, people are going to read differently.
Some people cry a lot.
Some people don't cry a lot.
Some people can laugh and joke about it right away some people are triggered and you can never talk about it ever
And at the end of the day, I think that we should all just give people the freedom to mourn and grieve how they see fit.
And I think it's kind of funny that these servants, they don't want to let David do that, you know, they're kind of just pissed off no matter what he does.
And again, I see this from a lot of people, people making fun of widows, making fun of people or trashing them or talking negative about them because of how they're grieving or whatever.
And it's like, look folks, people should be able to do whatever they want.
You know, sometimes people will even criticize, you know, a widow getting married, remarried,
and it doesn't matter to who or what timetable they just criticize it, but the Bible says
let the widows, you know, that are under the norm, number, get remarried.
So why would I criticize a wife for getting remarried when the Bible is like explicitly
saying that widows should get remarried?
In fact, that's like the prescription.
And you say, how long should they wait?
I don't think there's a timetable again and I think it's going to depend on the circumstances,
the person that they're interested in, their life situation.
I think there's going to be all kinds of variables there and again, I'm just not going to judge
people.
moving on even if it seems quick to me because what's quick to me is what's
going on with me but you know for other people it's whatever they're gonna do
and I think we should give people the freedom to grieve how they see fit
because I don't believe there's a right or a wrong and I don't think you could
show me in the Bible where the Bible explicitly says you know you have to
have this emotion when there's a sad situation or you have to have this
And, you know, we should allow people to have whatever emotions they want.
So I'm using this story to kind of show you this and kind of show you some of these things.
But I have some other points that I want to make.
Go to Romans chapter number 12.
Now I think we should understand people should have the right to grieve or more than however
they see fit and we should allow them.
And again, I would say this, I'm going to give you clear Bible verses and I'm going to show you things,
but I'm going to give you a lot of my tips and just personal opinions of how these things go because, you know,
anytime someone's grieving or sad or there's loss or there's death,
we're all going to experience death, it can be kind of uncomfortable and you can maybe feel like you don't know how to, how to be.
But I think what the Bible teaches is that when we're around someone that's grieving or sad,
how we should respond is we try to match their emotion.
So, instead of being disappointed in how they're acting or not liking how they're behaving,
we should just do our best to just match their energy level.
You know, if they want to just be thinking about the good things, if they want to reminisce
and be happy about the good things that are going on, just be happy with them.
If they want to be sad and they want to be grieving, allow them to be sad and allow them
to be grieving.
I'm always trying just to kind of offer some encouragement.
I'm always trying to be positive.
But if they're being, you know, if they're grieving,
I don't want to just say like, you know, you shouldn't cry
or you shouldn't be sad or you shouldn't be missing them
or whatever, you know, I want to let them do that.
I want to say, hey, I totally understand.
It's totally, it totally makes sense
that you're missing them.
I miss them too.
Hey, they are gonna be missed because they were really special. They were really awesome, you know, it's definitely a tough situation
I totally get where you're coming from, you know allowing people to cry
Don't make people feeling comfortable if they're crying or they're weeping, you know, sometimes you just can't you can't help it
You know for a lot of us, you know, we cry as an involuntary response
And so, you know when someone's doing that, why would I then criticize them when they're having an involuntary response?
You know and so you know we can allow people to just cry
We I've been on the phone with tons of people and they just cry one on the phone with me
And you know I just let them cry and then we just keep talking or we just keep going on
Or I just try to offer them some kind of encouragement. Hey, if you're at the hospital
You're at a funeral. You're at someone's house or something negative happening
Again, I try to match their emotion now look if they're not like super sad for some reason or they're just kind of just
trying to try to be positive then I don't feel like I need to like make them cry either though
You know
I can just try to like match their emotion and try to be with them
But what does the Bible say in Romans chapter 12 verse 15 it says rejoice with them that do rejoice and
Weep with them that we be of the same mind one toward another
I think the Bible is kind of giving us this indication. Hey, we should try to match people's emotion. Shouldn't we and again?
I'm not saying to just
you know, not have your own emotions, your own feelings.
I think this context is more like
when we're there for someone else,
when we're there to help someone else,
when it's about the other person,
we try to match their emotion.
You know, if I'm going to someone else's birthday party
and it's about them, then I wanna rejoice with them.
You know, it's not a good idea
to go to someone's birthday party
and then try to like be like,
my life's just a train wreck, feel sad for me.
It's like we're there to rejoice and celebrate this person, right?
You're at someone's wedding, don't be like, oh no one wants to marry me.
You know, when am I going to get my wedding or whatever.
You know, that's the wrong attitude.
You should be there to rejoice with them.
You're at the funeral, you don't want to go around.
I got a new promotion, guys!
Hey, you know, it's like this is this is basically just trying to help you understand like we should match other people's emotion
And again, this is in the context of your you're in a situation where it's about someone else
It's about their situation. It's about their event. It's about their life and we're trying to just be there for them
You know and as a husband this can be hard
But sometimes you need to just be there for your wife and try to match her emotion now look
I want to make some caveats again in the sermon so people don't get confused.
This does not mean every emotion is valid, okay?
Because women would love for you to believe all of their emotions are valid, all right?
They're not all valid.
Here's the thing though, if I come home and my wife's crying and I'm like, why are you
crying?
And it's like, you know, someone died.
It's like, well, then I'm gonna weep with her, you know, I'm gonna be sad there. I'm gonna comfort her if I'm like
Why are you weeping and it's like, you know
basically just something that's nonsensical or whatever like hey you came home one minute late or whatever and
My life's over and I have this disease because I looked it up on WebMD and it's like not real
And you're like okay, well you need to get over that because that's not real, you know
So it's like hey if it's if it makes sense if the emotion is matching reality
Then we should of course
You know, match that person's, you know, emotional state and try to be with them and try to encourage them.
When people are being delusional and hysterical,
yeah, sometimes we need to try and help them to come back to reality
and encourage them to have the right emotions and the right mindset.
You know, sometimes people have the wrong emotion, like,
they're sad when the Bible's kind of telling you to be happy or vice versa
and we try to encourage people to match the Bible's emotion, right?
You know, maybe they're like someone...
May have like lied about me or slandered me and I'm trying to encourage the person well
The Bible saying that we should actually be happy we should rejoice because you know
It's a good thing that you're being persecuted for righteousness sake. So sometimes we try to correct our emotions from the Bible
I'm not really addressing that this evening
I'm really trying to say when the emotions do match when they're legitimate and we're talking about someone having legitimate grief
Legitimate mourning legitimate problems, especially when we talk about death or something similar, you know, hey
We want to weep with them that weep
We want to be there to be a shoulder to cry on and to just be present.
I want you to go to Ecclesiastes chapter 3.
Ecclesiastes chapter 3, we're going to read a few verses there too.
Here's another thing, I think that for a lot of us,
and this is just again, some of these are just my personal tips,
but when you're around somebody and they've lost someone, they're grieving, there's problems,
it can be confusing because you feel like you don't know what to say.
You feel like you're just kind of at a loss for words.
You don't know what to say.
And I don't think that you have to worry
about saying anything.
Sometimes just being present,
just being there to just hang out.
Just, you don't have to just fill.
Fill the room with your words because in the multitude of words they're wanted not sin according to the Bible
So sometimes you're better off just being there, you know, Job's three friends
If you read the Bible, Joseph's friends when they show up, it's like for the first week or something
I don't know give me get someone can help me on the timeline. It's like a long period of time
They don't even say anything. It's just they're just there
and they're just kinda trying to be present.
I think that was the good part of their friends.
As soon as they start to open their mouth,
it's a train wreck, okay?
Then it's a big problem.
And again, sometimes people, they show up
and it's like you should've just kept your stupid mouth shut.
Like you weren't helping when you started opening your mouth.
So again, you really can't fail by not talking
but you can fail a lot by talking.
And even in times like when it's, you know, a negative situation,
I'll just be a little more careful and I'll think about things I'm going to say before I actually say them.
You know, like we all rehearse them in my head and I'll kind of think like,
is this something that would actually be positive, would this be encouraging, would this help?
Before I say anything, just because I just, you know, there's not really a good point and just saying stuff and don't feel rushed.
to speak. You know, don't feel like you have to fill the room with words or something.
Obviously just confirming your love towards that person,
confirming and matching their emotion is important, but don't feel like you just
have to just
say a whole bunch of stuff necessarily.
Now, if they're really chatty and they just want to talk and they want to get their mind
off things, then you'll have a conversation with them, right?
But don't feel pressured to necessarily say anything.
Ecclesiastes 3 verse 1 says to everything there's a season and a time to every purpose
into the heaven, time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to pluck up that
which is planted, a time to kill, and a time to heal, a time to break down, and a time
to build up, a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn.
and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones
and a time to gather stones together,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
So I think a couple of things that are in this passage,
you know, it's just giving like general wisdom,
but sometimes there's a time to weep.
And it's okay, we should allow people to weep.
We should allow people to mourn.
We should allow people to have sadness.
Sometimes there's a time to embrace, you know,
being there to physically comfort someone.
Sometimes people don't wanna be physically comforted though.
Sometimes people don't wanna hug.
Sometimes people don't wanna touch.
Sometimes people don't wanna be, you know, doing this.
And so you gotta give them space.
And we just have to realize, hey,
We kind of have to discern the situations.
But I think, again, what's the point?
The point is we should just let people do what they want to do
and allow people to be the way they want to be.
And I think that's the most comforting.
It's the most comforting when you're just there, you're present,
you're matching emotion, you're allowing them to be how they want to be
and you're not forcing people to act a certain way.
Now, eventually, obviously, we want people to move on.
And, you know, of course, David does move on, and that's the goal.
But again, we don't want to criticize people if they've moved on,
if they're ready to let things die down, if they're going to go.
Now, when it comes to crying and weeping, I also want to say this,
that you don't always have to cry either.
Go to Ezekiel 24.
And I want to show you an interesting story in the Bible.
But again, some people may be kind of like perturbed.
by the lack of tears or crying or weeping by some people, but again,
it's not required.
There's no like requirement. Some people just aren't like that. Some people cry for every reason, okay?
Some people cry for no reasons, okay? God actually explicitly commands Ezekiel the prophet not to cry
in a situation that I personally don't even see how I could physically do it.
Because, again, it's involuntary, but he actually commands him not to.
Look what it says in Ezekiel 24, verse 15.
So he's going to take away something important to him.
It says, verse 17,
for bear to cry, meaning do not allow yourself to cry.
Make no mourning for the dead.
Bind the tire of thine head upon thee,
and put on thy shoes upon thy feet,
and cover not thy lips, and eat not the bread of men.
So I spake unto the people in the morning,
and even my wife died.
And I did in the morning as I was commanded.
And the people said unto me,
wilt thou not tell us what these things are to us,
that thou doest so?
How in the world can your wife die, and you know crying, no mourning, no tears, nothing?
That's what he was commanded to do.
And look, I don't think I could do this unless God gave me like a supernatural ability to do something like this,
because, you know, I would just die of heartbreak, probably.
But again, this would be the most grievous person to lose in my life.
My wife is the most precious person to me, the most special person to me.
And if she were to die, that would be the worst.
So I can't imagine not crying in this particular situation, but he's commanded to.
Then he says in verse 21,
The Excellency of your strength, the desire of your eyes, and that which your soul pitieth, and your sons and your daughters whom you have left, shall fall by the sword.
And ye shall do as I have done, ye shall not cover your lips, nor eat the bread of men, and your tires shall be upon your heads, and your shoes upon your feet.
Ye shall not mourn nor weep, but ye shall pine away for your iniquities, and mourn one toward another."
Thus Ezekiel is assigning to you according to all that he had done shall ye do and when this cometh
Ye shall know that I am the Lord God.
So this is somehow some kind of a sign that there's going to be this great punishment on the children of Israel and
They're not even going to end up crying or being sad about it
just because I think of maybe just it's such a devastating period
that they're already just kind of like exasperated, I don't know,
but they're going to end up losing people and then they're going to realize,
like, I haven't even cried about this,
and then they're going to realize, wow, this was God.
Now, again, I'm not saying that this is necessarily like how you should respond.
Don't hear me wrong, okay?
I'm not saying, like, if your wife dies, don't cry about it.
What I am saying is that even if someone didn't, though,
I don't think we can judge them, necessarily, because sometimes people just don't cry.
Because it's an involuntary response. Unless you're a professional trained actor,
you can't cry on demand either.
You can't just make tears.
I'm sure lots of men in this room, we can't just make them cry.
Okay, so if you didn't cry, again, don't judge if some guy had something horrible happen to him
and he doesn't cry, don't think like he's not sad about it necessarily, he could be very sad.
But again, tears do not equal sadness necessarily.
They can, but we just don't want to judge people based on if they're crying or not.
Now of course, our Lord and Savior cry, go to John chapter 11.
Obviously, we also don't want to judge a man that does cry.
We don't want to judge men that don't cry,
and we don't want to judge men that do cry
because it's an involuntary response
in many situations, if not all situations.
And it's just one of those things
that I think we should give people
the freedom to act however they want.
Now look, as a parent,
I don't want my kids to be a bunch of crybabies
and crying about everything.
being a leftist and a liberal and whatever and hey he said something mean
and he's crying about it so I'll often tell like sternly tell my kids to stop
crying or to stop you know weeping about things that are not real but if my
kids were crying because you know one of our loved ones died or something I
would not tell them to not cry I would not tell them to you know cease from
mourning I would allow them and give them the space to cry about it
But it's like, if they're crying because their brother or sister took their toy away,
then yeah, I'm not going to allow them to cry about that, because I don't want them to be a bunch of crybabies.
And look, there's some men today that are crybabies, and they cry about everything.
They don't get their way, and they're just, you know, a little, you know, weakling.
You know, that's obviously not, I don't think, something we want to encourage in society, okay?
And people say like, oh, that's, you know, this toxic masculinity.
No, it's just kind of being a man.
Okay, it's like in the Marines they're not crying for every little reason or whatever and look we all experiencing pain and
You know we should try to avoid crying as men, but even in extreme pain. I wouldn't judge a guy that's crying
You know, some guy's being tortured, or like sawing a thunder, or like whatever, I'd probably be crying, okay?
If you read The Bridget Andal, you know, what the AVO man and what Meatball does, I'd cry for sure, okay?
So, I'm not gonna judge a guy for crying when he's being literally tortured, or something extreme,
or loses a friend in battle, or gets his arm blown off, or whatever.
I mean, yeah, obviously I get it, but you know, you skipped a meal and you're crying about it, it's like, come on.
You know, you gotta kind of man up a little bit, right?
So there's a balance there.
But at the end of the day, if someone's crying
because they lost a friend, why would I judge that?
And you know, Jesus here is gonna do that.
This is the most famous verse on this topic,
but verse 35, Jesus wept.
And of course, I believe Jesus Christ is a very manly man.
He's God in the flesh, yet he weeps.
And what did they say?
Then said the Jews, behold how he loved him.
So notice, he wept because of how much he loved his friend.
And you know, when you see people that really love people,
they're going to be very sad, they're going to often weep.
But again, I just don't want to also say like,
oh, if this guy didn't cry,
then he doesn't miss his friend or didn't love his friend.
I don't think that's right either.
Obviously, for a lot of us, if someone dies that's close to us, we probably weep even
as men, but even if a guy didn't, I'm not going to say, like, I guess he didn't love
them because he didn't cry enough or he didn't weep enough.
You know, again, it's an involuntary response, and I think there's a lot of people that love
people and care about them, and even if they didn't weep about it, they still love them.
But hey, if they did weep, I'm also not going to necessarily try to prevent them from crying.
our loved ones that died or something, right?
Go to Proverbs 24, go to Proverbs 24.
So I'm just giving some general wisdom and we're going through some different verses and we're just kind of talking about this
What am I my biggest takeaway? And again, I've been I've been hammering this point is I just don't believe that there's a right or wrong to grief
There's a right or wrong to mourning
Let us allow people to grieve how they see fit and let us be careful to not judge other people for how they're mourning or how they
handle loss or difficulty and you know, it just again, it just it kind of irritates me
when I'm constantly seeing this and whatever.
And look, for a lot of us sometimes it can be confusing
where thinking like, man, this person doesn't seem
to be reacting the way that we anticipated
and people are just genuinely curious or they wanna know.
You know, I'm hoping that maybe with this sermon
you can kinda see like, people are gonna do
whatever they want, people are gonna be doing things like,
sometimes people say like, oh, this person laughed
after someone died.
But you have to understand laughter.
Laughter is a result of an uncomfortable feeling.
It's typically when someone says something true that makes you feel uncomfortable, your
involuntary response is laughter.
That's kind of the thing.
Or a misdirection.
This is why the left is not funny.
Because they can't ever say anything that's true.
You know, it's like this is also why the left can't meme.
And it's like, people that get mad at memes, I'm just thinking like, is it not like truth?
Memes are just a way of expressing a thought or an idea.
It's no different than just saying a statement or making a comment.
And arguably most memes would be similar to the same expressions and ideas found in the
book of Proverbs.
It's basically just Proverbs.
That's why the Bible talks about people being a byword or a proverb.
What does that mean?
It's a meme.
That's what it means.
Like literally.
They I mean we don't even know because there's no new thing on the Sun
They might have been drawing memes on trees in the caves and stuff like that, you know
Some of those bad pictures might have been on purpose. They were like drawing them, you know weird-looking or whatever because it was a meme
I'm I'm being a little facetious, but
Like I am I saying that every meme is right no because it's just an expression of communication
You can express ideas that are good or bad regardless of what medium that you use and some people
They just get mad at a particular medium or particular way people express ideas or thoughts and instead of focusing in on the content
Is it true?
Okay, and at the end of the day, you know, we should really be focused in on what's true
And again when someone says something that's really true that resonates with you that catches off guard you laugh
And it doesn't matter what your emotional state was or is not.
And look, sometimes humor is funny to some people and it's not funny to others.
You know, I'm kind of one of these people that live in what I would call the too soon
meme club, okay, in my mind.
It's like something you probably shouldn't say, there's two taboo right after an incident.
I kind of want to say it.
And I would laugh like if someone said something that was kind of like whoa, that was a little too soon
I'd probably laugh some people might still be triggered and again
I'm not gonna judge the people that would be triggered but also I wish they wouldn't judge me because it's like hey and look
I've been around people where
They have a horrible situation bad things are happening and
I kind of I kind of give them one of those too soon meme jokes or whatever and they just laugh and they think it's funny
Some people that might make it way worse obviously you got to know your audience
But again if someone laughs or something I'm not gonna judge them again
Based on their emotional response now. I would say this
You know, sometimes the Bible teaches that if you were to laugh at someone dying, or if you were to laugh when someone, some misfortune happens to them,
that it's biblical, that it's right.
The Bible literally has Jesus, I don't know how to say Jesus, but God is saying, I will laugh at their calamity.
I'll mock when their fear cometh.
I mean, that's the God of the Bible.
So there is a time to laugh at some people's calamity.
There is a time to laugh at some people's destruction.
But then there's also times when you shouldn't,
even when you don't like the person.
And this is an interesting verse,
but Proverbs 24, verse 17 says this,
Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth,
and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleeth.
Lest the Lord see it and displease him,
and he turn away his wrath from him.
We should be careful not to be happy or
Gleeful or joyful or smiling when something negative happens to someone we don't like
And if we want to make clear context here
This verse is not in view of like what we think about like serial killer and rapist pedophile
Reprobates like we don't care
We're talking about the guy that lied about you.
We're talking about your neighbor that ripped you off.
We're talking about the guy at work that's been, you know,
kind of a jerk to you.
We're talking about people that are just normal enemies,
normal problem makers.
You know, for David, it's Saul.
Saul as a troublemaker is an enemy unto David.
But he's not happy if something negative happens to Saul.
He mourns and he's sad.
Goliath's head, you know, that's his meme, right?
He's like, look at this guy, ha, ha, ha, you know.
He doesn't care.
He's just like using it as a war tactic or whatever, right?
He's happy that that guy, he's smiling ear to ear.
That Goliath's head has been taken from him.
But Saul, who did persecute him and did try to harm him,
he's not happy when he dies
or negative things happen to Saul.
And so we have to understand this balance here.
And look, for us, we're going to have people that lie about us,
attack us, do evil, separate, blah, blah, blah.
But I want to make it clear for our church,
hey, if something negative happened to those people,
we should not mock or laugh at them or ridicule them
or be happy or rub their nose in it
or just bring it up over and over again
and not let them live these things down.
You know, that's inappropriate.
Hey, when something negative happens to people,
you know, we should just kind of like allow them to mourn.
And here's my rule of thumb.
If I can't say something to encourage them
or to help them, I'm just gonna be silent.
If I don't like somebody,
and it's somebody I've had problems with
and something negative happens to them,
you know, at worst I'm just gonna be silent.
At best, I would try to encourage them, or at least give condolences, if I feel like I can offer condolences.
You know, it's weird to rub their nose in it and parade it around and tell everybody about it
and act all super happy that something negative happened to them.
Oh, see, you shouldn't have took my lunch money getting what you deserve.
And look, maybe they are getting what they deserve.
Because King Saul got what he deserved let's just be honest King Saul reaped what he sowed
He deserved punishment for having tried to attack David and all the evil things that he did
But you know what David didn't rub his nose in it
David didn't try to hold you know him accountable for all of his wrong doing he was sad and he was he was gonna
Weep with them that
You know, as a Christian, we should try to meet, you know, meet people where they're at and be mournful and sadful.
You know, when people are dying and bad things are happening to them, if they're not just the most obvious, false prophet reprobate, we should be sad.
Shouldn't be happy about it. We shouldn't be... It's not just dying. Maybe they got fired from work. Maybe they got in a car accident.
Maybe they had something, you know, negative happen. Maybe they had a relationship issue.
You know, maybe it's like someone is causing us problems
in our church and like they're causing negativity
and they're like an enemy and then they get divorced.
We shouldn't be happy they got divorced.
We should be sad they got divorced.
Shouldn't be like, oh, you deserve that.
And maybe they did deserve it
because they're being a crappy person.
But you know what, I'm not gonna be happy about that.
I'm gonna be sad about that.
You know, we shouldn't be happy that negative things are happening to our enemies.
Now again, we can pray that God will avenge us and we can pray that God will recompense
people and I'm not saying that that's not biblical but at the end of the day we shouldn't
be rejoicing when our enemy stumbles and when he's, you know, we don't rejoice in
iniquities as the Bible says.
You know, it's weird to parade around iniquity and use that as some kind of a weapon against people.
Now, govwa to Psalm 58. Go to Psalm 58. Let's balance this out, though.
And this is where some people they'll say that we're hypocrites because they'll say oh, you're sad for
One of y'all's friends dying and then you're not sad when some Calvinist false prophet goes in an alley and gets killed
Or whatever, and it's like well. Yeah, I'm not sad about that and they're like oh you're hypocrites. No, no, no
I'm just biblical. Okay
Psalm 58, the righteous shall rejoice when he seeeth the vengeance, he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
So that a man shall say, verily there is a reward for the righteous, verily is a God that judges the earth.
Look, obviously a guy that's attacking churches and preaching a false gospel and is just some evil satanic piece of trash.
If he dies, then I'm going to rejoice and wash my feet in the blood of the wicked.
Some of the evil reprobates that have been attacking our church,
they've been arrested and they're facing federal charges.
And I'm just thinking like, praise God.
That's what it says, doesn't it say?
Verily, there is a word for the righteous.
Verily, he is a God that judges in the earth.
It says, the man shall say,
there is a God that judges in the earth.
Praise God.
That's what I'll say, but you know someone that's just been just a pain in our side that's a saved brother
But he's just he's just kind of a bad brother. It's something negative happens
I'm not gonna be praising God and being so excited that negative things are happening him. I'll be sad for him
You know, we don't have to have this attitude
Towards people that are not wicked that are not the evil that are not the reprobate
You know give people the benefit of the doubt when we can
Go to 2nd Kings chapter 8, go to 2nd Kings chapter 3, and you know, I think some people had mixed emotions and mixed feelings when Charlie Kirk died.
And for me, I just kind of just didn't like some attitudes that I saw from people where it was almost like they just like, oh, he deserved that, or he's a Zionist shill, or, you know, all these different things.
Yeah, I don't like his Zionism shill stuff. I mean he is a Zionist shill
I mean he was definitely like a super pro Israel got a lot of Israel money
Advocating for a lot of Israel things. I disagree with him on a lot of that
You know, I was sad when he died because it's just a sad thing
We should just be sad when people are dying
Didn't I have to go to second Kings right chapter 8 look at verse 11
And he settled his countenance steadfastly until he was ashamed and the man of God wept.
And Heziel said, Why weep with my Lord?
And he answered, Because I know the evil that thou wilt do under the children of Israel.
Their strongholds wilt thou set on fire, and their young men wilt thou slay with a sword,
and wilt dash their children and rip up their women with child.
Now you have to understand, what is the context?
Look, Israel is a wicked nation in the context of the Bible, generally speaking, they're not
the southern kingdom, they're the northern kingdom, they're the further away from God,
they're not towards God, they're worshiping idols, they have problems, and yet the man
of God is still sad.
at all the carnage and all the destruction that's going to happen even though it's a result of sin,
even though it's a result of not being right, even though it's a result of not doing everything
perfectly and being judged by God, he's still sad because it's just sad that it happens.
It's sad if a woman gets ripped up with child. It's sad if young men are killed.
It's sad that Charlie Kirk as a young man is killed.
Why what it's weird, you know when people are just like I'm glad this guy's not new I have me died
It's like that's that's stupid
That's a bad attitude. It's weird
You know we should be sad for you know look if a prostitute got shot in the head and killed we should just be sad
And you know what we should want the death penalty for the murderer
Even if it was a bad person in theory, or a sinner, or a publican, or a harlot, or whatever,
we should just be sad when people die, generally speaking.
Yeah, is there the exception for the bloodthirsty reprobate that we just talked about?
Sure.
Yeah, I get that.
No one's gonna be sad when George Soros finally kicks the bucket.
I get it, okay?
But at the end of the day, you know what for most people we should just be sad when they die
Especially when they're brutally murdered and killed. I mean the woman and judges 19 is not a saint folks
She's a fornicating whore and she's disrespectful and she seems kind of you know
Not like a witch, you know, and she's just kind of like a bad chick
And then she gets killed, and the whole nation's supposed to mourn for her.
The whole nation's supposed to go to fight for her and go to battle for her,
because she did not deserve to lose her life to those sons of Belial.
And you know what? We can still be sad when someone that's a sinner, someone that's...
I mean, if the biggest sin is you're wrong on Israel, boy,
I mean, you're not going to be able to sad for very many boomers.
And look, I'm not, if any buddy that I know,
any family that reminds me of a boomer dies,
I'm gonna be like, well, shouldn't have been pro-Zionist,
you know, it's weird.
It's just weird, it's not the right attitude.
We should do our best to, hey, be sad when people are dying.
We should, you know, and again, if you're not sad,
let's just say you're just not sad.
I mean obviously we get it tons of people are dying every single day. We don't know them
We have no personal connection. We've never heard of it
Then you can just be silent at least you can just move on with your life, but it's weird to criticize people
Criticize people. Oh, you're sad Charlie Kirk died. Yeah, they're sad. Why can't you just let them be sad?
right
I mean, it's just weird when people are just criticizing other individuals.
Now look, if someone's getting up and saying like, I'm just so sad for 50 sodomites being
shot in a gay bar, it's like, well, I'm going to give you some comfort.
Let's read Romans 1.
You don't need to mourn.
I'm not going to mourn.
I'm going to help you not mourn, okay?
Right?
I mean, we can help people, but I'm just saying we need to learn some of the balance here.
We should be sad when people are dying.
Go to Galatians chapter 6.
We should be sad when negative things are happening to people.
We should be sad at the results of sin.
And we want to be careful that we're not so hyper-judgmental
that we're just always just like,
well, deserve that, had that come in.
You know, because if I'm afraid of God,
I'm afraid that if I had those attitudes,
then God would just do that to me.
I don't know how other people aren't afraid of that.
Galatians chapter 6, look at verse 2.
Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.
You know, when someone goes through loss and someone goes through negative situations,
we should try to be someone that bears their burdens.
Now, this is just a practical tip again.
I'm just going to give you a practical tip.
You know, when someone goes through a difficult situation, they lose a job.
They lose a loved one.
They get injured.
They're sick and dying.
Bad things are happening to them, right?
The Bible is saying to bear other people's burdens.
You know, pro-tip, you know, again, I say this, and I'm not saying don't say this,
but I'm saying don't only say this.
I'll say, hey, if you need anything, let me know, or hey, I would like to help.
But, you know, here's how it works, though, for almost all of us.
No one really wants to ask for help and no one really wants to lay burdens on other people,
so typically they're not going to ask you.
is try to identify a burden and just solve it.
Try to identify a burden and just solve it.
Be like, hey, it's obvious you need a ride tomorrow,
I'm gonna give you a ride.
I'll just be there at six.
Hey, it's obvious you need food, here's the food,
here's the food, here's, hey, it's obvious
you just need some money and just give them some money.
That is a pro tip of actually burying other people's burdens.
Here's the second, you know, this is the advanced pro tip, right?
Don't give someone a burden, okay?
Don't be like, hey, I made you a meal.
Come pick it up at my house at five o'clock.
And can you ring, don't ring the doorbell.
Come around on the side.
And it's not completely made.
You kind of have to heat it back up.
Actually, all I did was just buy a rice in a bag
You know, it's like, oh, and I live an hour and a half away from you, and you need to
get it during rush hour traffic.
Like I'm helping, I'm helping, it's like you're not helping, okay?
You actually gave them a burden because they could just go to the store and buy rice and
spend less money than the gas money to come to your hour and a half drive to even get
it.
You know, hey, I heard you needed a car, I have a broken down one, you could probably
And I know it's totaled, but if you work really hard,
you could probably fix it.
It's like, here.
It's like, I don't want your broken car, you know?
It's like, I don't want like a burden, right?
It's like, hey, here's this shirt with holes in it.
You know, it's like, hey, I was gonna throw it away,
but you can have it.
It's like, thanks.
You know, hey, I got you a gift.
I know it's a gift I got that I didn't want and no one wants, but I got you a gift.
Now you're just helping, they're gonna throw your trash away.
It's like, look, I'm just saying, pro tip, take people's burdens, help, you know, help
the people's burdens, but don't give them a burden.
It's like, oh, Pastor Shelley needs a meal.
I brought him some Indian food.
You know, think about people, right?
Actually, like, think, hey, this is going to be helpful,
identifying, you know, use some discretion,
think about, hey, how can I actually help this person?
How can I do some good under this person?
And again, I'm joking, but honestly, I see it sometimes.
I'm just like, dang, you know, like,
that's not really helping.
You know, you didn't really, like,
do something good for them.
You're not really encouraging them, you know.
Hey, bro, you can take me to dinner.
I'll let you, it's like, thanks, but no thanks, right?
So, and don't invite yourself to do things either, right?
Try to just give them space, allow people to invite you over,
allow people to invite you into their life.
Don't just be a burden to people.
Don't, hey, they're grieving,
don't feel like you have to go over there
and just, I'm just gonna stay with you.
And they're like, no, it's okay.
And you're like, no, I'm gonna stay with you.
It's like, no, I'm staying, man.
You're just like, get out.
Get out of the stinking house, you know?
especially if you've insisted and they've doubled down.
You know, once they've doubled down,
you get out of there, right?
Don't be a burden on people.
Don't make them uncomfortable.
Give people their space.
Allow people to do their things.
You know, just, these are just some common sense things,
but you'd be surprised what some people would be like.
some people would do, go to Genesis 9,
it's the last verse I'm gonna have this turn to,
but again, I'm just, I think this is an important topic
to just kind of talk about,
we're all gonna go through these stages,
we're all gonna have these events happen,
it's not fun, we're all gonna grieve,
we're all gonna mourn, we're all gonna experience death,
we're all gonna experience loss,
we're all gonna have sicknesses,
people that are close to us are gonna die,
things are gonna happen, and you know,
hopefully you'll learn a few things from the sermon.
What's number one?
There's no right or wrong to grief.
Let's not judge other people, let's allow people to experience the motions they are. Number two, we should try to match their emotion.
We should try to match their emotion. And the number three, of course, if we are grieving, the ultimate goal is to move on,
but there's nothing wrong with giving yourself adequate space to move on.
If you don't have to, if you don't have to grieve, just move on. Don't feel guilty for moving on right away.
If you need some time to grieve, don't feel guilty for giving yourself some time to grieve.
But, at some point, we do need to move on.
When you're there with someone, hey, just be that shoulder to cry on.
Help them with burdens.
Don't feel like you have to say something.
Make sure if you're giving them something or helping them, it's actual, real help.
Real giving them something.
There's nothing wrong with telling people, hey, if you need something, if you want something.
And look, there's also nothing wrong if someone says that to ask.
You have not because you asked not.
If you really need something and people are offering, then take them up on it, right?
Also, if someone's giving you a gift and you could actually use it, I think you shouldn't
refuse gifts.
You know, people like to give you gifts, they want to give you gifts, and it's something
you can use, something that would be helpful to you.
Just take it.
Don't be so prideful.
If you're like, you can't take a gift, you can't take a help, you can't take a ride,
you can't take whatever.
Genesis chapter number nine, and look at verse number 20.
Now look if if pastor Anderson
Had some kind of a loss and you're gonna bring him a meal. He would definitely want Indian food. He loves it
He says it's awesome
You know, I preached a sermon that apparently destroyed a conference and
In the conference, I was just sharing my personal opinion that I just don't really like that particular cuisine
But again, it's not like, just that, I'm a really picky eater, okay?
And immediately after I preached that sermon, I went into Pastor Jimenez's office and
Pastor Anderson was just like, I totally disagree with your sermon.
And I was just kind of like, dang, like, what did I say?
And he's like, I love Indian food.
And it's just like, he's always arguing with me and he says that I'm so wrong on that.
So we like to give each other a hard time because he tells us that Texas food sucks.
And I'm like, what's wrong with you?
Like, you know, like I just I just don't get it, you know, but obviously no one's perfect. There's not a perfect preacher people, okay?
I have problems. I have strong preferences. He does you know, and I don't know that he's gonna get right
So that's the problem
Genesis chapter 9 look at verse number 20 the Bible says and Noah began to be in husband men and he planted a vineyard
And he drank of the wine and was drunken, and he was uncovered within his tent and ham the father of Canaan
Saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brethren without
And Shem and Jepeth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and went backward
and covered the nakedness of their father.
And their faces were backward.
And they saw not their father's nakedness.
And Noah woke from his wine and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
And he said, Cursed be Canaan, a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
Here's the last point I want to make.
I think it's also an important point.
You know, everybody wants to just project onto other people how they would handle negative
things in their lives like having a wayward child and you know what?
We don't know what the right emotion is.
You know, someone would say, oh, Noah, this is embarrassing.
You should go crawl in a hole and cry and hide yourself, but what does he do?
He just immediately curses his grandchild, he just immediately curses what Ham had done
And it's like, is that the right emotion?
It doesn't matter.
You can do whatever you want.
And like, why would I judge somebody?
Look, if I invest 18, 19, 20 years into a child
and they did something negative
or they turned out bad or they did whatever,
like I think parents can have whatever emotion they want.
They could be mad.
They could be sad.
they could be upset. Hopefully they're not happy about it.
But again, I'm not going to judge them if they're mad or if they're sad
or how much they grieve or how many tears they shed
or if they have no tears. I mean in the Prodigal Son story
when the Prodigal Son goes and is ruining his life
is a total embarrassment, squandered just tons of money
What what the Bible says about it is that he was dead to his father and like some people say my sons screw up
They're gonna be dead to me
If my son's just, you know, not serving God and hates God and wants nothing with God then he would be dead to me.
If he's going to commit sins in 1 Corinthians 5, he's going to be dead to me.
You know, the Bible says in 1 Timothy chapter number 5 that she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.
And you know, some people would criticize like, how dare you ever allow a child to be dead to you?
You should always care.
Well, you know, we have to live our lives.
And David moved on right away.
And look, whether they're alive or not,
if they're just dead in a sense,
sometimes you just gotta move on and just live your life.
And you know, I'm not gonna judge somebody
on how they respond to a bad kid or to a bad spouse.
Or to, you know, sometimes people, you know,
they, I'm not, I'm not justifying divorce,
this divorce is wrong, they should never get divorced.
But they're kind of like happy about it.
And look, I don't, I'm not saying
that's even the right emotion,
but I'm just not, I'm just gonna leave them alone.
You know what I mean?
Like I'm not saying that that was right. I think it's grievous. I think people should be sad
But again, I'm just not gonna force my opinions or my emotions on other people and at the end of the day
I think God is not wanting us to do that. Now look if someone has such an embarrassing weird situation
What is the right response?
What does the Bible say here in verse number 23 and Shem and Jepa took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and went backward
covered the nakedness of their father. This has got to be a weird hard thing to
do. It's got to be awkward to like try to like put this on and kind of like walk
backward. You're kind of like going out of your way to do something. To just give
some respect to your dad. To give some respect to the guy that just got something
negative that happened to him. And you know if something negative happens to
You know what you could do?
Turn around and just walk backwards and just try to cover
and just not bring it up, not make a big deal about it.
You know, it's weird to just bring it up
over and over and over.
You know, Ham likes to go out there
and just tell everybody about it.
And it's like, hey, why would I want to get on Ham's program
and then get a megaphone and tell even more people about it?
You know be like Shem, Emma, and Jathan's to say like yeah, that's terrible. That's gross. That's embarrassing. That's weird
Why would I want to like then just like tell more people about it? You know sometimes people go through ugly divorces and stuff
Why do I want to get on a megaphone just tell everybody all the dirty laundry about it?
or someone commits a weird sin and is like,
why don't I just tell everybody about it?
Or someone has some embarrassing situation
or some embarrassing life event
or some embarrassing past or something like that.
And look, you know, one of the worst things
I think a pastor can do, and pastors do this,
is people will give them like,
they'll just ask for counsel
or they'll talk to them about stuff in private.
And then the like share, pastors will share that information.
That is wicked.
That is wrong, pastors should not do that.
where people are coming to them for private counsel.
You know, it should be just some sanctuary.
And look, it's not just the pastor.
If people come to you, if people are your close friend
and they share something to you, it's private,
it's embarrassing, it's whatever,
don't share that information.
And look, even if you stop being friends,
there's a falling out.
Don't do that.
That's not a cool thing to do.
And look, I've known, you know, the pastors that I have respect for, I know that they've had many situations, many situations where people trashed them and lied about them and did negative things to them, and they have the dirt on those people.
They have extreme dirt, extreme things that they could do, and they don't go that, they don't play like that.
Because you just don't play like that, you just don't play dirty.
and you don't act like that.
Why don't you just turn around, cover, you know.
If someone's got a bad situation,
if someone's grieving or mourning
about a negative situation,
sometimes you could just turn around
and just kind of like, okay,
I just don't want to bring it up.
I don't want to make it worse than it already is.
I don't need to tell any more people about it.
It's a wrong attitude to like rub people's nose
in some negative, terrible situation.
Hey Noah, you know what happened?
Hey Noah, did you see what Ham did to you?
Hey, well, you know at least my son's not ham and your son's not ham and his son's not ham
My son no, no just turn around and cover it up
Stop rubbing everybody's nose and what happened to him. It's weird
God didn't even tell us the details because it's so weird
Why do I want to you know think about this?
What if you had a picture of what what have you literally someone was in there and they took a picture of
ham and Noah and
Why in the world would you send it to other people?
You know what you do?
Delete.
You do it like, ah, delete.
It's like, we got the juicy picture of ham and whatever.
Let's send it to everybody.
That's weird.
No, you turn around backwards and you cut.
You're like, where's the delete button?
Delete.
You don't go around just trying to parade these kind of things. It's weird. It's weird. It's unbiblical. It's not right
Hey, if Ham does something weird and perverted, you know what?
Let's just try to like just look the other way
You know and let's not give Noah a harder time than he's already going through
He already had the negative situation.
Shem and Jaypeth can just say like,
you know, nuts to ham, we're just gonna turn around,
move on, live our lives, and we still love our dad.
You know, and again, when it comes to this morning
and grieving, you know, what are they like?
I don't know, I don't think Noah cried enough.
I don't think Noah's sad enough or whatever.
Why would you be sad at him?
You would be, I would be angry.
Like I'm just saying like some people are like projecting these emotions on people and I'm thinking like I don't even I don't get your point
Because if if my son
Pulled a ham. I'd be furious at it. I'll be mad. I wouldn't be sad
I'd be mad and then why are people like oh, you don't seem sad you seem mad must not love your kid, huh?
It's again people love to tell you how to feel and what emotions to have you know, I don't like that attitude
I always give people the opportunity to feel however they feel and look even if they weren't mad
What if they were sad? I'm not going to criticize them for that either if they were
I'm just saying the mad kind of makes sense to me. Yeah, that's kind of how I would feel about it and look
I think this is an important sermon because we have a lot of loss
We've had a lot of death. We've had a lot of like crazy things bad things, you know
Let us try to learn and grow and get better at it and be a shoulder to cry on and to help people and encourage them
But let us just really try this is the main thing you walk away. Please. Please don't judge people
For how they grieve or they're mourned. Let's give them space
And you know our default should be hey, we're sad when people are being killed and murdered
Not being happy about it. All right, let's go some prayer. Thank you Heavenly Father so much for
giving us the comfort that when we lose little babies
and loved ones that they're saved,
that we're gonna still see them again in heaven.
Thank you for giving us comfort
that when the evil and the wicked people are destroyed,
that we can see that there's still judgment in the earth.
I pray that we would be able to take from your example
and we could weep with those that weep,
we could rejoice with those that rejoice
that you'd help us to match people's emotions,
that we give people space to grieve and mourn
as they see fit.
And we know that one day all tears will be wiped away and one day death will be conquered, that final enemy.
But until then, let us have compassion, let us have empathy, let us have, you know, love and charity towards those that go through difficult situations.
And let us be someone that actually bears other people's burdens and we use wisdom and discretion. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Our last song this evening, page 377, Rescue the Perishing, page 377, Rescue the Perishing.