Evening the seat grab a hymnal and turn to our first hymn number 100 this never failed and number
101 that zero is this and we'll sing there starting only father
We thank you just again for another opportunity to gate today to gather together and to sing praises out into your name
I pray that you'd be with those that received your word
Willingly this afternoon that called on your son's name to receive salvation that you would just help them not fall by the wayside
And they would get in a good church and plant some roots also pray that you would be with all of us for this evening
Service that you'd continue to open our ears and our hearts to the message and fill pastor Oz with your spirit these things
We pray in Jesus name. Amen. All right our next him this evening be number 112 be still my soul him number
112 1 1 2
Be still my soul. We'll sing there on the first
We go through some announcements on the front of our bulletin is our Bible memory passage of the week
Patience chapter 1 verse 2 definitely want to encourage everyone to be working on this chapter
The inside is our service times listed Sunday morning at 1030 Sunday evening at 430 and our Wednesday evening Bible study at 7
Our soul winning times are all listed there and all of those meet here at the church building
Nursing home ministry schedules there if you partake in that and our year-to-date statistics as well. I do believe we had four salvations
This evening so a great job
Also winning this evening. Also, please be in prayer for miss Whitney Reid
Expecting lady of the church and there should be some information
Coming next week in the bulletin regarding a baby shower
So I'll be looking forward to getting the details on that
Upcoming events February 2nd is a men's preaching night followed by a church potluck. So do bring a dish to share after that service
Please April 19th is our Easter soul winning marathon here in Oklahoma City
May 16th through the 18th is a King James Bible conference at Sure Foundation Baptist Church
It's gonna be lots of teaching regarding that subject there
Durant, Oklahoma soul winning marathon on May 31st with steadfast Baptist Church
Then a little farther out in June on the 28th
We're going to have a church fellowship day where we just hang out and have a good time at the Tinker air show at
the Air Force Base here
August 27th through the 31st is the fire breathing Baptist fellowship
This is gonna be the the hot preaching conference of the year. I know 2025
There's gonna be a pause at least for red hot
So if you usually go to that and are excited for that you definitely want to make it to the fire breathing
Baptist fellowship looking forward to that October 6 through the 11th kind of the highlight for our year is the
Bahamas mission trip super thrilled about this
We need to be praying that this goes really well and that we can get lots of people saved during this time
But I'm really really excited for the opportunity that we have there
I think that last time we went there it was during spring break if I remember correctly
And so we didn't really have access to go into the colleges and stuff like that
So we went into the primary schools, which was awesome very receptive and we got to preach in their classes
But I think this year we're also gonna have access to the college students as well
So it should make it for an even more receptive trip than last time. So definitely I'm excited for that
Giving if you'd like to give online there is a QR code there as well as our prayer list on the back
If you have any updates or new requests, please email that email address and I'd be happy to add that for you
That's gonna be it for announcements this evening. We'll go ahead and go to our third song
right our third him this evening is number
121 like a river glorious
121 1 2 1 like a river glorious
121 they're on the first
Plates are being passed this evening turn if you would to Ephesians chapter number Ephesians chapter number 5
Ephesians chapter number 5 the Bible reads be therefore followers of God as dear children and walk in love as Christ also hath
loved us and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savor but fornication and all uncleanness
or covetousness let it not be once named among you as become a saint neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting which are not
convenient but rather giving of thanks for this you know that no whoremonger nor unclean person nor covetous man who is an
idolater hath any inheritance in the kingdom of God in the kingdom of Christ and of God let no man deceive you with vain
words for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience be not ye therefore partakers with
them for ye were sometimes darkness but now are ye light in the Lord walk as children of light for the fruit of the spirit
is in all goodness and righteousness and truth proving what is acceptable unto the Lord and have no fellowship with the
unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them for it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them
in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and Christ shall give thee light. See then that you walk
circumspectly not as fools but as wise redeeming the time because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise but
understanding what the will of the Lord is and be not drunk with wine wherein is excess but be filled with the spirit
speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord giving
thanks always for all things unto God in the Father and the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the
head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is
subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Husbands love your wives even as
Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of
water by the word that he might present it to himself at glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such
thing but that it should be holy and without blemish. So are men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it
even as the Lord the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery
but I speak concerning Christ in the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Let's bow our heads for prayer. Father in heaven we thank you for this day.
The souls that were saved, our church, our pastor, we just ask that you fill our past with the Holy Spirit.
Spirit, to the best husbands that we can be. We talked about ways that a wife can help her husband,
but you know less some of you worries, ladies got a little worried. We are going to talk about the
men this evening. We're going to hit them for a while. So this evening the title of my sermon is
Attributes of a Godly Husband. Attributes of a Godly Husband. Let's start reading in verse number
21 of Ephesians chapter 5. We get some foundational doctrine here in this chapter. It says,
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Now this verse I believe is just teaching
that hey we all have different authorities in our life. We all have different authorities that we
submit to. Sometimes I've heard this verse preached in old IFB churches that I attended
in my teenage years and they basically use this verse to erase everything else that we're going
to read in this chapter. And it's just kind of like what why are these other verses in the chapter
then if this verse is just erasing what we're about to read. This is just saying that we all
have authority figures, right? We all have to obey the government, the church obeys the pastor,
the pastor obeys Jesus, parents or children obey their parents, and wives obey their husbands. So
we all have authority in life. It says in verse 22, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands
as unto the Lord." So we see that the Bible clearly states that the husband has been given
power to lead. He's the one that's been empowered by God to lead his family, and the wife is
instructed to obey her husband as unto the Lord. Let's keep reading verse 23. It says, "For the
husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of
the body." So the Bible even goes so far as to compare the level of authority that a husband
has over his wife to that of Christ and the church. So that is a pretty high level of authority that
the Bible is communicating here. It's not just saying like, "Hey, submit to each other. You guys
have equal authority. By the way, the husband's over the wife like Christ is over the church."
Like that doesn't make sense just to cancel out like that. No, the Bible is definitely establishing
authority for the husbands. But look at verse 24. It says, "Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Verse 25 says, "Husbands
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." And so tonight
we're talking about attributes of a godly husband. Number one, a godly husband is sacrificial. A
godly husband is sacrificial. Because notice how in this chapter, God paints the picture saying,
"Look, we all have authority, but God has given the authority in the home to the man in the same way
that God has given Christ authority over the church. The wife is to obey the husband in the
same way that the church should obey Jesus Christ. So it's clear God's given the man the power,
but to what end? Did God give husbands authority just for the sake of having authority? No, he gave
that authority so that husbands could love their wives in the same way that Christ loved the church.
And the Bible explains how did Christ love the church by giving himself for it. And so while
ultimately today, Jesus Christ, he has all the power. He has all the authority. I mean, his words
are right here telling us what to do. But Jesus Christ used his authority by sacrificing for us,
by loving us and by leading at the expense of himself. And that's what a good husband does.
A good husband is, yes, empowered in charge, but they use that power and authority that they have
and they don't always do what's best for them or most convenient for them
or whatever is going to be, you know, the best thing for their life.
They use their power to make decisions sacrificially that are the best for his wife
and best for his family at a whole go to, uh, actually let's keep reading in Ephesians five.
Look at verse 28. It says, so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. So notice you're supposed to love your wife in
the same way that you just naturally take care of yourself. And you know, this is something,
especially if someone is newly married, that men need to remind themselves and put themselves in
a new mentality that, Hey, when you get married, it's not just about you anymore. It's not just
about the things that you want to do, the desires you have, the schedules you have. You now have to
think about another person. And sometimes that involves sacrificing what you want to do,
sacrificing your time, sacrificing your money, whatever type of sacrifice you make
for the other person. You know, I think that's what a good husband does, is that he has power,
he uses his power, but he uses it to bless his family. Look at verse 29, it says, "For no man
ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. We are
members of his body and of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father
and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh." So again,
just talking about how no one hates themselves, everyone takes care of their carnal needs,
everyone eats when they're hungry, everyone takes a shower when they need to take a shower,
and so that is the same way that you should be loving your wife, you should be sacrificial.
And kind of like when you think of an idea of like what's a bad husband, what does a rotten husband
look like? I think of just a selfish husband, right? I think of the husband that spends his
paycheck on alcohol and his family is hungry, right? I believe it was Dr. John R. Rice. Don't
quote me on that, but I believe it was Dr. John R. Rice who grew up in a home where his father
was an alcoholic. If someone can correct me on that, if I'm wrong, go ahead. But one of those old
preachers of old time, he wrote that his family was really struggling when he was growing up
because dad was an alcoholic. Dad would spend all the paycheck on alcohol, leaving his mother
and his brethren with little to nothing. That is not a sacrificial husband right there. That's
someone that's only concerned about himself. And while that's a very extreme example, there's other
ways that husbands could be selfish too. Even when we're just talking about finances, I believe that
the vast majority of your expendable income, if you have expendable income, should be blessed
towards your wife and your kids. That is a good way to be a sacrificial leader, that if you have
some extra money, you're not just immediately, every time you have some extra money, you're just
spending that on yourself and on your fun toys and on your fun activities. But rather, if you have
something extra, why not be sacrificial and bless your wife with that? Why not give that to your
wife? Why not give that to your children and not just being selfish? You know, men could sometimes
be selfish with their time. And I get it because men, you know, they have tough schedules, just like
ladies have tough schedules, they're working jobs. You know, I'm a pastor on top of that. I could stay
very busy. And if I'm not careful, I could just spend 100% of my time on the things that I need to
do. And you know, it's very important that us as men, that we sometimes sacrifice things that we're
working on, maybe hobbies that you have, things that aren't a necessity to spend with your wife,
because your wife is a necessity. You know, you need to make sure that you're scheduling time
into your life to spend quality time with your wife, with your children. And that's not always
easy, it doesn't always come natural. And so sometimes you may literally have to schedule it.
You know, there's nothing wrong with literally scheduling into your time, you know, time to spend
with your family, with your wife, because sometimes life can just get busy and that can get away from
you. But you want to make sure you're being a selfless husband, putting her needs first.
Number two, another godly attribute of a husband is being a strong leader. Look at Ephesians 5 verse
22 again. It says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband
is the head of the wife even as Christ is of the church and he is the savior of the body. Therefore,
as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.
Verse 26, notice that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word. So
the Bible teaches us here that Christ presents the church to God, spotless, blameless. And how
does he do it? He does it through the washing of the water by the word. And so us as husbands,
this is kind of a picture of how we need to be strong leaders. And of course, that's true in every
aspect of being a husband, just making decisions, having a plan for your family. But the most
important area of being a strong leader that you need to work on is being a spiritual leader,
being someone that is a strong spiritual leader. And that's kind of why I think it brings up in
verse 26 that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. And you know,
you need to learn as a man, if you want to be a strong leader, you want to be an effective leader
of your wife, this is where it starts. It starts with being an effective leader of yourself. If you
want to be a spiritual leader of your wife, guess what that means? It means you actually have to be
spiritual to begin with. That means that you can't just sit there and expect, oh, I'm going to be a
spiritual leader of my wife just because I'm a man. No, first you need to wash yourself with water of
the word here. You need to make sure that you're doing a good job reading the Bible, that you know
the Bible really well. Then you could step into that leadership role and be a spiritual leader for
your family. And really this is just being a leader in general. You know, before you lead others,
you need to have mastered leading yourself. You know, you need to make sure that in your life as
men, hey, you've mastered routines. You're not a guy that just lives off of motivation. You're a
person who's very disciplined. You know how to set goals and achieve them. You know how to be a
responsible person, not just once or twice, but it's just your lifestyle that you are a responsible
person over time, you know, showing a long-term pattern of maturity. These are things that builds
credibility in the eyes of your followers as a leader. And so us as men, yes, you are a leader
just by virtue of you being married. You have the power. You are the leader of your wife,
but obviously you don't want to just be in a position and just hold a title, but not necessarily
be an effective leader. You also want to be an effective leader and you also want to have
credibility with your wife. And so what that's going to take is that's going to take a long-term
self-discipline and actually showing yourself someone that is worthy of being followed. Now
here's the thing, we don't want to get this feminist idea that starts teaching, "Well,
wives, only follow your husband if he's worthy. Only listen to your husband if you feel he's
spiritually mature." It's like I'm talking to two different groups of people. If I'm talking to
wives, obey your husbands no matter what. Don't sit there and criticize him and think, "Is he
worthy of my obedience? Should I follow him spiritually?" It's like your job is to obey,
your job is to follow. But then if I'm talking to men, I'm going to tell them, "Hey, you need to
build some credibility as a leader. You need to actually make sure that you're not just sitting
in a title or in a position, but that you're actually showing yourself as being a worthy
person to follow." And that is not easy. That's not as easy as just getting a position. That
actually takes diligence over a long period of time. Also, I heard this in a leadership class
that I was in recently, and I really liked this idea. They were talking about the best leaders in
this world. They do two things. They offer high support for their followers, but they also offer
high challenge for their followers. Because sometimes you have leaders where they're really
supportive of their followers, but they don't challenge them at all. And that's not really a
good leader, right? You don't want a leader who's just always going to pat you on the back,
always be your friend. Yeah, he's really supporting you, but he never challenges you to do anything.
He never pushes you to your potential. And if you're never challenged, if you're never pushed,
you're never going to grow, right? And all of us could grow. All of us could work on
reaching a higher potential. And so as a husband, you want to offer your wife two things,
high support and high challenge. You have some leaders, they're all high challenge, but they're
not really supportive, right? In order to really challenge someone, and especially in a marriage,
they need to know that you care about them. They need to know that you love them. And some husbands,
it's like, "Well, I'm in charge. I'm the authority. So I'm just going to challenge my wife." And it's
like, "Look, amen. You have the right to do that. That's fine." And again, if I'm talking to the
wife, I'm saying obey no matter what. But if I'm talking to the husband, I'm going to say,
"Here's what you should do. Offer high challenge and offer high support. Let her know, "Hey, baby,
I'm for you. We're a team. I want what's best for you. I'm here to support you. I would die for you.
I would take a bullet for you. I love you more than anyone in this world." And then sit there
and challenge her and say, "Hey, this is what we're going to do as a family. We're going to serve God.
We're going to be free to thrive. You're going to become a soul winner. You're going to memorize
the chapter, you know, at Anchor Baptist Church. You're going to do great things for God." You know,
your wife is going to be more likely to respond well to that type of leadership than the leadership
that's like, "I'm not spiritual. I'm a crappy husband. I'm not loving to my wife. I'm not good
at anything I do, but let me just tell you what to do all day." Here's the thing. She should obey,
but I'm just telling you, like I always say, there's a difference between what's right
and what people actually do. Let me tell you what people actually respond to. What people actually
enjoy is a leader that supports them. They know, "I know this leader cares about me. I know that
this leader wants what's best for me. I know this leader wants me to grow to my potential."
And so when they get challenged, they actually respond to that and say, "You know what? This
person's right. I need to make a change here. I need to work on that." You know, I think that
Pastor Shelley was a perfect example of a leader in my life that was like this. You know, working for
him and just interacting on a very close level, on a very personal level for four plus something years,
he was a leader that offered me high challenge. I will tell you what. I always describe Pastor
Shelley as this. He's a high caliber individual. He just is. He's an awesome guy. But you know what?
He didn't just give me high challenge. He also gave me high support. And because of that, I was like,
hey, this is a guy I could follow. This is a guy I could respect. And you know what? This guy could
correct me. He could be harsh with me. And I'm willing to take that because I know that he actually
cares about me. Now, what have you worked for a boss that was nothing but just cussing you out,
chewing you out, telling you, you need to do better. You suck. You need to get better in this area.
That might motivate you for a while out of fear of losing your job. You know, but do you really like
working for that person? No, you don't. Right. But if your boss, he cares about you, he wants to
develop you professionally. He says, Hey, I see something in you. I think you could grow. I think
you could do better. And he's investing into you. He's blessing you. And then he challenges you.
You could go to war for that guy. I mean, you'll do anything for that guy. And it's like, this is
the mentality that we need to have as husbands love our wives as Christ loved the church. Does Christ
ever challenge us? You better believe he does. Right. I mean, this is a hard book right here.
There's some things in this book that are very hard to follow, but guess what? He sacrificed his
life for us. He died on the cross for us. So he has the right to tell me whatever he wants,
right? Because he showed me, Hey, he loves me. He's willing to die for me. He's willing to do
anything for me. And so the natural response is, Hey, let's serve him. Let's serve him. And that
should be your response as a woman. Look, if you have a husband that loves you, you need to appreciate
that and respond with a heart of servitude and say, like, I'm wanting to serve this man because he
loves me because he showed me that he cares. And us as men, what do we need to do? You need to show
that you care. You need to be a strong leader that doesn't mean just barking orders. That's the easy
part of leadership. The hard part of leadership is actually investing into people to where they're
willing to respond to your leadership. Anyone can bark orders, right? Anyone can do that. But
leadership is influence. Barking orders doesn't necessarily just influence people, right? What
influences them is actually having a connection with you and actually trusting you. And that is
what a good husband should do. So what are some ways you could lead your wife spiritually? Well,
here's a real easy one. Take her to church. Take your wife to church. You know, this is a thing
that sometimes I just, I hear guys, you know, they struggle with their, their girl at home who's not
really wanting to be spiritual, is not really interested in things of God. And it's like, look,
you got to take her to church because sometimes people have a wrong perception of what church is
like. And until you actually show her, until you actually get her around these people and under the
preaching of the word of God, she's never going to truly understand what it's like. Cause sometimes,
and I don't blame people. I didn't really grow up going to church that much. You might have an idea
of, of church as being kind of weird or just the people might be kind of standoffish and not
friendly in some churches. That is the case, but praise the Lord, it's not the case here, you know?
So if you've got a wife that is struggling this area, you know, bring her to church. Go to 1st
Timothy chapter 3, if you haven't turned there already, 1st Timothy chapter number 3, 1st Timothy
3 verse 15 says, "But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself
in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth."
Look, husbands, the house of God is the pillar and ground of the truth. That's where you should be
taking your wife, is to a church that exalts the truth. Your wife needs to hear the truth. And if
you're going to be a strong spiritual leader, you've got to take her to a church where she's
going to hear the truth. Not take her to a church where they're going to worship Israel, not take
her to a church where they're going to ask her to get saved at an altar every single service,
right? They're going to actually challenge your wife with the preaching of God's word. Because
here's the thing, God's word has power. God's word can change hearts. And it's like, if you're a
husband, you want to lead your wife, you want your wife to get more spiritual, take her to a place
where she's going to get high dosages of God's word, because that actually can make an impact
on her heart. Another thing you could do is teach her the Bible, teach her the word of God yourself
in your home. Now go to 1 Corinthians 14, I'll read for you a verse we've already read, Ephesians
5 26, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. Look, it's a good
idea to have a family Bible time. And you know, you're killing a lot of birds with one stone here
because you're spending good quality time together. You yourself are being blessed by reading of the
word of God. You're learning things as you're reading together. If you have kids, they're
learning the word of God. And of course, if you want to be a spiritual leader of your wife,
she's learning the word of God too. You're doing a lot of things just by getting together as a family
and reading the Bible. Now here's the thing, look at 1 Corinthians 14, 34, the Bible says,
"Let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak,
but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn
anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church."
So look, this idea that we have today of deaconesses, you know, a co-pastor couple where
it's the husband pastor and the wife pastor, or just churches that just straight up have a female
pastor, you know, this is a wicked idea. This is an unbiblical idea. The Bible literally says that
it's not permitted for them to speak in the church. It's for a man to run the show, for a man to
preach, for a man to lead things at the church. But here's the thing, if a woman has a question,
who is she supposed to go to? She's supposed to ask her husband at home. You know, this should
motivate guys to be reading and knowing the Bible because it'd be kind of a shame if every time your
wife came to you wanting to grow, wanting to ask a question, and you didn't even have the answer
for her. You know, you should be above your wife in this level. Now, here's the thing. I don't ever
want a woman to, you know, tamp down her spirituality or to not do as much as she can. I just think that
wherever she's at, the husband better just be going that much harder. Like, look, you know, if
your wife can bench press, you know, 225, that's insane. Let's just say that she can. I'm not saying
that she shouldn't. I'm just saying like you better at least be able to bench press more than 225. That's
all I'm saying. You know, you're the man. You're the leader. If your wife knows the Bible really,
really well, praise God for that. We don't want women to be stupid. We don't want women to just
not read the Bible, but I'm just saying if you want to lead her, you better know it more. You better
read it more. And it's like verses like this, just saying, Hey, your wife should be going to you.
Your wife should be asking you. The question is, can she right now, if your wife came to you with
a Bible question, would you actually be able to open your Bible and show her and explain it?
Or to be like, well, let me go online and find this sermon real quick. And look, if that's where
you're at, at least get her the answer some way. But you just need to realize that like starting
today, your job and mission in life is to become more spiritual, to actually be an effective leader,
to read the Bible more, to be able to help her go to Joshua 24. You know, another thing men make
spiritual decisions for your family. Decide. Say, you know what, my family is going to do what's
right. My family is going to serve God. This is not a debate between me and my wife. This is not
something we're going to, you know, hey, do you want to serve God? Oh, me too. Look, those questions
for when you were dating. Okay. And obviously some people get saved later in life. I get that. But
look at Joshua 24, verse 15, it says, and if it seemed evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you
this day whom you will serve, whether the gods, which your father served that were on the other
side of the flood or the gods of the Amorites and whose land he dwell. But as for me and my house,
we will serve the Lord. Doesn't sound like this was an option in Joshua's mind. He said, you know
what? This is what we're going to do. That's what a real leader does. A real leader makes decisions.
Now, like I said, obviously in most scenarios, you know, your follower, your wife is going to respond
a lot better to you showing both high challenge and high support. Don't forget that. That's a very
important thing. But at the end of the day, let's say you as a husband, that you're doing those two
things. You're offering high challenge. You're offering high support. You're commanding your
family. You say, you know what? This is what we're going to do. I would at least, and let's say that
even in that case, your wife isn't following. Your wife isn't doing what you want to do.
Even in that case, I would rather still be right with God and just stand before God and saying like,
God, I'm loving this woman. God, I'm leading this woman. I'm telling her what to do.
I'm offering her high support. I'm commanding my family to serve God. If she chooses not to follow,
at least you could be clean before God, knowing that you're doing what you can,
because there are bad followers out there, folks. There are terrible wives out there.
There are terrible followers out there. Not every single problem in failure in life is a problem of
leadership. Some people take this idea of everything rises and falls on leadership,
which is a truth in general. Sometimes people take that to an extreme, though. It's like,
no, they're rotten people. There are terrible followers. There are people where it doesn't
matter if Moses is their leader. They're going to be a crappy follower. They're going to complain.
It doesn't matter if Jesus Christ is their leader. They're going to quit on him. They're going to
criticize him. So look, obviously, and if you're a man in that situation, I feel for you. That
sounds awful. I'm sorry. I'll try to help you in any way I can, but at least still be able to stand
before God saying like, look, I loved her and I told her what to do. I said that me and my family
are going to serve the Lord. If she refuses at that point, you know, that sucks. But again,
the vast majority of cases, the good news, the vast majority of cases that your wife will respond to
high support and high challenge. Genesis chapter 18. We turn there Genesis chapter number 18.
You know, I heard in another leadership book, this quote, there are no bad teams, only bad leaders.
There are no bad teams, only bad leaders. And here's the thing, there is some truth to that
statement. There's some truth, some general truth to that. But you know what? There actually,
there actually are some bad teams out there. There actually are some really bad followers out there.
And that's just the reality of life. Look at Genesis 18 verse 17 says, "And the Lord said,
'Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do?' Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great
and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him. For I know him
that he will command his children and his household after him. And they shall keep the way of the Lord
to do justice and judgment." You know, I like that God looked down at Abraham and he said, "Hey,
I know that Abraham is going to command his children and command his household to keep the
word of the Lord." You know, that's the attitude husbands need to have, is they need to go into
their position as a leader and realize that the most important function that we have as heads of
the household is a spiritual leader. That's the most important function. Yes, there's other things
you got to do. You got to pay the bills. You got to feed your family. You got to do those things.
But the biggest responsibility you have is leading your family spiritually and you need to be
commanding your family to serve God. And here's the thing, you know what that's going to take?
It's going to take you being sold out for God yourself. You can't be this wishy-washy man
where you're halfway in the world, halfway in church, you're halfway in the world, halfway
in the things of God, and then expect someone to follow you. No, you as a man, you need to be
steadfast. You need to be like an anchor where you're just dug in deep to the earth. You're not
moving anywhere. And then someone could actually follow that. Go to first Timothy chapter number
one. The third attribute of a godly husband is a godly husband is a provider. Godly husband is a
provider. I said first Timothy one go to first Timothy five first Timothy chapter number five
first Timothy five verse eight says but if any provide not for his own and especially for those
of his own house he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel you know sounds like this is
something pretty serious to god where god's saying look if you don't provide for your family talking
about physically providing for their needs you know you are actually just worse than an unbeliever
because we go out in this world all the time and we meet just regular joe blow mexican guy who's
taking care of eight kids 10 kids working a not so high paying job he's getting it done you know
it's an utter shame and embarrassment for a man not to take care of his family and you know while
it's hard believe me it's hard right now there's been times that have been way harder though in the
past it's been times that have been way harder the great pressure in the united states you know we do
have a lot of blessings right now but look whatever you got to do you got to figure out a way to get
it done god is expecting men to provide for their families now here's the thing it does not say that
you have to provide a Lamborghini or a mansion or a yearly vacation trip or daily trips to your
favorite you know beverage store costco or costco good night i've been thinking about costco yesterday
you know starbucks or or yeah the dollar 50 costco hot dogs they're really breaking the
bank no those are great you know you don't have to provide all these crazy things look if you can
praise the lord but you know you do need to provide the necessities of life you do need to
make sure that you're providing for the needs of your family and work hard to do that now some
advice for young ladies if young ladies are not married yet you know you need to make sure that
you marry someone that's a good provider that doesn't necessarily mean especially if you are
young and you marry another young guy it doesn't necessarily mean that this 18 year old guy is just
breaking in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year but what you do need to pay attention to young
ladies who want to get married is you need to pay attention to the trend that this man is going in
his life you need to make sure that this young man is going in the right direction that he has
good character and that he sticks with stuff he's not a quitter because someone you know that's
diligent they're going the right direction in life that's a man that's going to be able to provide
that's a man that's just going to figure out whatever he has to do but you know you don't
I don't want to just be like, "Oh yeah, I just hope he'll figure it out some day."
No, you need to see something in him that is going to give you some sort of assurance,
because you're in for a long ride, honey.
There is a long ride for marriage, and quite honestly, the stakes are higher for a woman getting married.
I personally believe that the stakes are higher on a woman when she gets married than it is for a man.
Why? Because I'm the leader, and I'm steadfast, and I'm anchored.
I know what I'm going to do. What's right? I know I'm going to lead my family the right way,
and so I could sleep at night like a baby. But, you know, ladies getting married,
you are getting married and you are signing up for someone to obey for the rest of your life.
You are handing over your authority. You know, you had it with dad, you obeyed mom and dad.
You're getting rid of that. You're handing that over to a man for the rest of your life.
And you're trusting him to provide for you. That is a very serious ordeal right there.
And, you know, I don't recommend people just jump and get married, you know,
with knowing each other for a very short amount of time. I don't think you just have to meet, you know,
marry the first guy you meet or anything like that. But look, you want to make sure you marry a good provider
and look at the trend that he is going in his life. Go to Proverbs chapter 10, Proverbs chapter number 10,
Proverbs 10 verse 4 says, "He becomeeth poor that dealeth with a slack hand,
but the hand of the diligent maketh rich." Ladies, run away from lazy men.
If you are of a dating age, if you're a dating age girl and you are dating a guy that you pick up vibes on,
that this is a lazy person, run away from that person because that person is going to end up poor.
"He becomeeth poor that dealeth with a slack hand, but the hand of the diligent maketh rich."
I like that word diligent. Here's the definition of diligent.
"Constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken."
You know, that's a steadfast person right there, right?
Someone that is constantly over a long period of time working hard.
You know, don't just get married to the guy who got his first job ever last week.
That has not showed a long-term pattern of being a hard worker.
You want to see someone who's diligent, who works hard earnestly constantly over a long period of time.
Go to Proverbs chapter 12, Proverbs chapter 12 verse 14.
The Bible says, "The hand of the diligent shall bear rule, but the slothful shall be under tribute."
So here's the thing, it's not that necessarily every diligent person is already in a position of leadership,
but it's that if you're a diligent person that you will bear rule someday.
You know, the diligent person is the guy that gets promoted at work.
The diligent person is the one that becomes the manager, that becomes the manager of the company.
That gets promoted at work. The diligent person is the one that becomes the manager,
that becomes the boss, that gets promoted to higher levels in the company.
So what do you want to look for? You want to look for a man that's diligent.
That's a hard worker because someday he'll bear rule.
But the slothful shall be under tribute.
The lazy will go to the, you know, cash checking sleazy stores around Southwest OKC
that get taken advantage of and they're under tribute.
You know, they're getting taken advantage of by Jews oftentimes because they're slothful.
Oftentimes because they are lazy.
Look at Proverbs 12 27.
The slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting,
but the substance of a diligent man is precious.
You know, just as important as making money is being good at resource management.
I mean, honestly, if someone's if I had to choose between making a lot of money,
but then my family really sucks at spending it or making less money,
and everyone's really good at resource management,
I would take the second option all day long.
You know, ladies, you want to look for a guy that is good at resource management,
that he's not someone that's just super wasteful.
He's not just blowing money on a bunch of random stuff.
He takes care of the things that he has.
You know, us as men, we need to make sure we're being diligent with the resources God has given us.
Let's go to Nehemiah chapter four, Nehemiah chapter four, the fourth attribute of a godly husband this evening.
A godly husband is a protector. A godly husband is a protector.
Now look, fair warning, I'm about to read this verse out of its context.
And look, it's okay to do that every once in a while as long as what you're still saying is true.
But I'm just letting you know that, you know, we're not talking about the context of this story.
I just want to pull something out of this verse.
Nehemiah 4:14 says, "And I looked and rose up and said unto the nobles and to the rulers and to the rest of the people,
be not ye afraid of them, remember the Lord, which is great and terrible,
and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses."
You know, I like this idea of fighting for your wife, fight for your wife.
You know, we as men should not be men that just allow our women to just get taken advantage of,
beaten in public, kidnapped, disrespected, spit upon.
You know, whatever terrible things people do out there,
us as men have to be ready to physically defend our families.
You know, this is an important aspect of being a man,
is that you are the first response to your family when they're in danger.
We need to make sure as men that we are good protectors.
Now, here's the thing, we live in a very safe world.
We live in a world where we've been conditioned to call other people to help us when we need help, right?
We call the police when there's a fight.
We call firefighters when there's a fire.
But you know, there's something going on in America right now.
I'm not sure if you know about it.
It's the fires going on in California.
And these are some of the worst fires the state has ever seen
as far as the total number of buildings that are lost.
There's been a lot of lives lost.
And, you know, call 911 all you want.
You know, the firefighters are overextended right now.
They're not able to help every single person because there's not enough of them.
There's not enough resources.
Call all you want. No one's coming to help you oftentimes in these things.
And beyond that, not only is there just terrible fires going on
that's just destroying communities, but as a result,
guess who comes out to play? All the looters.
And California is actually talking about, you know,
deploying the National Guard and police officers have been making arrests
of just hordes of just dozens and dozens of looters
going through neighborhoods, trying to kick down doors
and take what they can out of these wealthy people's homes,
because a lot of these fires are in really rich areas.
And here comes all the wonderful, oppressed people
who are going around kicking down doors, looting.
What are you going to do? Are you going to call the police?
The whole city's burning to the ground.
If your emergency management is overextended,
you are the one that's responsible to protect your family.
And again, I try to stress this to people
because we do live in a safe world.
We live in a safe society here in Oklahoma,
but we can never forget how thin of a line it is
between our soft, cushy lives and utter chaos,
and utter violence, and utter problems.
You ought not, as a man, to bury your head in the sand
and think, "Oh, it'll always be okay.
I'll always call the police.
There'll always be some other strong man to help you."
You ought to have the mentality that you are ready to fight for your family.
You are ready to defend your wife and your children.
And look, I hope to God you never have to do that.
I hope to God I never have to.
But you ought to be prepared as a man to turn that on
in a moment's notice if you have to.
You know, that is our job as men.
Look at Mark chapter 3. Go to Mark chapter number 3.
You know, here's the thing about predators.
Predators do when they're looking for a prey.
They look for opportunity. Opportunity.
This is true of animals, and this is true of human predators as well.
Human predators do not like to pick the strongest, most fortified human being to fight.
They like to prey on the weak, which is why predators often prey on women when women are alone.
I mean, how many times have we heard about the woman at the grocery store walk into her car alone at night?
You know, the woman on the running trail alone in a wooded area.
These are areas where predators could hunt, right?
Because they're looking for a prey. But us as men, we want to make sure that we are not that opportunity for predators,
that predators look at our families, predators look at us and say, OK, this is a hard target.
Let's move to someone else. You know, quite honestly, when I was being protested at my house
and I had just an insane number of phone calls and emails and messages and death threats
and constantly just sodomites coming to my house over and over and over again my whole life,
I've really been into firearms. I've trained my whole life. I really enjoy that stuff.
But I never have really made any shooting videos because I just don't care. It's kind of just my own hobby.
But I purposely did this when I had so many sodomites in my house
is I just started making training videos of just me shooting at the range
just so these faggots would know like, "Hey, I am a hard target."
Like, "You want to come to my house? If you want to play stupid games, you want to have a gunfight?
Well, I don't want that. I will meet you and I will beat you."
Like, that's the message that I want to send to them.
Now, I don't want that to happen. Let me make that very clear.
But as a man, I am not going to let someone come to my house and threaten my wife and my kids.
I am not going to let someone hurt them without giving it everything I got.
In fact, it would be over my dead body, literally.
And so, I'm just like, I'm just projecting that message.
Like, "Hey, you want to come to my house and play stupid games? It is not going to go well for you.
It is not going to be an easy target for you."
Us as men, we should make sure that people look at us who know our lives and they say,
"Yeah, this is not a guy that is a soft target. This is not a guy who's just going to roll over and give you everything."
Look at what Jesus said in Mark chapter 3 verse 27.
"No man can enter into a strong man's house and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man, and then he will spoil his house."
See, if someone wants to break into your house and take everything you have, you know, he needs what?
He needs an opportunity to do that.
And that opportunity is taken away when the strong man of the house is there.
And so if someone who wants to prey on your family, wants to break into your house and take everything, it should be through you first.
They should be having to come through you first.
And so us as men, some practical ways we could do this.
You know, I've talked about this a lot.
Buy a firearm, but don't just buy a firearm.
Know how to use it.
Train with it and know how to use it well.
We've gone shooting with people who have carried a firearm every day of their life for years.
And then we're at the range and they're like, oh yeah, this is the first time I've ever shot this.
And I'm just like, that's a bad move, man.
That's not a wise thing to do.
And let me also explain something to you.
Just because you have shot a gun and just because you have gone to a range does not mean that you are good.
It does not mean that you're actually skillful with that firearm.
You know, I hope that you are, but consider actually getting some real training.
Consider actually humbling yourself.
And man, teaching women to shoot is so much easier than teaching men to shoot because women are humble.
When I taught my wife how to shoot, I was blown away.
She picked it up really well. She's really, really good.
Sometimes when I try to help men, they don't listen because they're a man, you know.
Of course I know how to shoot. I'm a man. That does not mean you know how to shoot.
And look, here's the thing. I'm not like an expert in martial arts or anything like that.
There's guys who are probably half my size that if they're trained in these things could absolutely destroy me
because they actually know what they're doing.
And it's like the same thing with guns.
Just because you have a gun doesn't mean that you are good or could win in any sort of fight.
No, you should train.
You know, I talked about fighting. That's a good thing to learn.
Especially if that's something that you have interest in.
It's also a good way to just work out and stay active and exercise.
That's a good thing to learn.
Also just lifting weights, being healthy, not being overweight, not having terrible cardio.
You know, one of the things about fighting, I remember this in high school.
I was in a law enforcement class and we had to do this thing where we had to sprint 400 meters
and then we had to like box someone for 90 seconds and then we had to do 25 burpees after that.
And everybody's throwing up the whole time.
Because, you know, when you actually fight someone you realize how much energy it takes out of you.
And like being a big guy is not enough. You also need to have endurance and cardio.
And it's like you don't want to be defending your family and you're just gassed 10 seconds in.
You know these are things that we actually have to take seriously as men.
Because this is what God expects of us to protect our families.
Now go to 1 Kings 20. I'm going to read for you 1 Timothy 4.8.
The Bible says, "For bodily exercise profiteth little, but godliness is profitable unto all things,
having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come."
The Bible's saying that bodily exercise profits little in comparison to spiritual things.
What's most important? The spiritual things are obviously the most important.
But is this saying that there's no profit whatsoever in bodily exercise?
In fact, you don't even need to exercise. Oh, you know, I've heard this mentality.
This "holier than thou" mentality is like, "Well, I'm not going to waste time working out because that's vain.
I could be soul-winning. I could be reading my Bible."
It's like, okay, holier than thou, you know, let's see when you get married though,
and some guy wants to push you over, you're just going to be destroyed,
because you're so holy that working out is so terrible.
Look, men, work out, lift weights, get stronger.
Don't just be content being like, yeah, I'm weak, I'm not athletic, kind of just is what it is.
No, fix it. Change. Put work into it.
You should be exercising as a man. You should be strong. Why?
Because it's your job to protect.
That's why God even created us to be bigger than women.
To begin with, is we are there to protect them.
1 Kings 20, now here's a beta male in the Bible, this is what you don't want to be, is King Ahab.
1 Kings 20 verse 1, "And Ben-Hadad the king of Syria gathered all his hosts together,
and there were thirty and two kings with him, and horses and chariots.
And he went up and besieged Samaria and warred against it.
And he sent messengers to Ahab, king of Israel, into the city, and said unto him,
Thus saith Ben-Hadad, "Thy silver and thy gold is mine, thy wives also, and thy children,
even the goodliest are mine." And the king of Israel answered and said,
"My lord, O king, according to the saying, I am thine and all that I have."
Can you believe this story happened? I mean, I'm reading this, I'm just like,
what kind of a man is this? You got some guy that comes up to you,
"Hey, your silver, your gold is mine, your house, oh, and your wives, and all your children."
And Ahab just rolls over and says, "I am thine and all that I have."
Sure, let's just roll over. It would be like, no, we're going to fight until one of us are dead.
That's what we're going to do. Because look, if you're coming to take my family,
well, I'm at least going to try to stop you, and if you kill me, you kill me,
but I'm not going to just in good conscience sit here and let you take my wife, let you take my children.
And look, this should be the attitude that we have as men that we are not going to let someone hurt our family.
We are not going to allow someone to punch our wife, hit our wife, kidnap our wife,
kidnap our children, anything that could harm them. No, you need to step in and do something about it.
And again, we live in a polite society. We live in a society where we call the police.
But you know, the police take a while to get there.
And a lot can happen in the time between you calling the police and the police actually arriving.
And who's to say that the police, when they get there, are going to be good at what they do anyways?
Because I've seen a lot of fat cops, and I've seen a lot of body cam footage where they suck at shooting,
and they suck at doing their job. So you know what, if some man is going to try to hurt my wife,
I'm just going to step in right then and there. What if you get arrested? I don't care, because I'm
not going to worry about getting arrested when my wife is right here about to get hurt. My kids
are right here about to get hurt. Let's worry about all that stuff later. My job is to protect.
You know, we need, as men, to be protectors. Go to
1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter chapter number 3. The fifth
attribute of a godly husband is a godly husband is honoring
to his wife. A godly husband is honoring to his wife. What do I mean by that?
I mean, a godly husband is a gentleman. You know, this is kind of a lost word
that we don't hear a whole lot in our society anymore. But it used to be that
hey, this man is a gentleman. That's what you wanted to strive towards as a man.
You want to be a gentleman to the ladies and specifically
to your wife, above all ladies. Look at 1 Peter 3. It says
in verse 7, "Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the
weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your
prayers not be hindered." So notice how the Bible says that the
wife is the weaker vessel, which of course is why we're the protectors, right?
But you know, you don't want to just say, "Okay, my wife is the weaker vessel,
therefore let's disparage her for that or look down at her for that."
No, rather, that's a chance for you to honor her and to be
a gentleman. What are some ways you could honor your wife? How about this?
Show respect unto your wife. Speak to her kindly.
Say words like, "Please, thank you." This is what a gentleman does. A gentleman
speaks kindly to women and especially to his wife.
Look at Song of Solomon. Go to Song of Solomon chapter 4.
Make sure you're doing things like praising your wife. This is what a gentleman does.
A gentleman speaks positively of his wife to his wife.
A gentleman is not going out disparaging his wife, talking crap about her
to his friends, talking crap about her to his parents.
A gentleman is going to respect his wife, show honor to her, speak well of her, and to her.
And that's what Solomon did in verse 1 of Song of Solomon 4.
"Behold, thou art fair, my love. Behold, thou art fair.
Thou hast doves eyes within thy locks. Thy hair is as a flock of goats
that appear from Mount Gilead." You know, this is what ladies like to hear.
"Thou art fair." You know, us guys, we don't care because we know we're ugly.
And we don't give a rip about it. But ladies, they care.
And they constantly want to be told, "Thou art fair. Thou art fair."
That's what they want to hear. Look at verse 2. "Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep
that are even shorn, which came up from the washing, whereof
every one bare twins, and none is barren among them." Sounds like this lady
did not do meth. You know, she's got decent teeth. I don't know if she had braces or what.
Verse 3, "Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet,
and thy speech is comely. Thy temples are like a piece
of a pomegranate within thy locks." You know, he's complimenting the way that she speaks.
You know, don't make fun of your wife for how she talks, okay? Compliment your wife
for how she speaks. Verse 4, "Thy neck is like the tower of David,
build it for an armory. Whereon there hang a thousand
bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like
two young rows that are twins, which feed among the lilies."
Go to chapter number 7, chapter 7 of Song of Solomon. So notice constantly here
Solomon's just praising his wife. Praising everything about her. Her teeth,
her neck, breasts, everything about her. He is liking his wife and he's
letting her know that. And look, there's nothing filthy about this because this is
in the Bible, okay? Don't get all bashful on me now. Don't get all embarrassed
on me now. We talked about this morning how the old IFB has done a disservice. I'm not
talking about this stuff. But you know what? I'm pretty sure the men this morning appreciate
a sermon where I'm like, "Hey women, be with your husbands." And I'm pretty sure the ladies
appreciate a sermon this evening where it's like, "Hey man, compliment your wife on her
head and her neck and her breasts and everything about her." Okay? Because let's just be honest,
everyone is agreeing with everything that I'm saying right now. Unless you're a feminist.
Song of Solomon 7 verse 1, "How beautiful are thy feet with shoes." I always crack up
at that verse because I'm like, "He gave that caveat there." He's just like, "Man, you got
beautiful feet with shoes." It's like, "Don't take those things off." He's softening the
blow a little bit. "Oh, prince's daughter, the joints of thy thighs are like jewels.
The work of the hands of a cunning workman, thy navel is like a round goblet." Well, that
is funny to me. I would not compliment my wife on how her belly looks like a round goblet
or something. "Which wanteth not liquor, thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with
lilies." Different times here, for sure. "Thy two breasts are like two young rows that are
twins." I think that one was pretty timeless throughout all cultures. But, you know, some of
this, you know, man, I'm not saying you need exactly verbatim quote Song of Solomon here,
but the spirit of the law here is compliment your wife. Make her feel loved, make her feel
respected, be a gentleman. Here's another thing. Practice chivalry. You want to be someone that's
honoring to your wife, practice chivalry. What does that mean? Opening doors, carrying heavy
things. Doing the unpleasant tasks at home that no one else wants to do. You know, you open that
tornado shelter and you suck the spiders out of that thing and you clean that thing out because
you know what, your wife doesn't want to do it. You know, standing out in the heat and doing the
lawn work and working on the house, you know, those are tasks that mostly men take care of and
rightly so. You know, we want to be gentlemen to our ladies. You know, when it's pouring rain, drop
your wife off at the front of the building. Don't be like, you know, parking as far away as you can.
I like to park far away. I like to back in. I like to park far away. I don't want people around my
vehicles. But you know, if it's raining super hard, we're going to go ahead and drop off the
wife at the front and then we're going to go park and we'll meet her inside. You know, that's being
chivalrous. That's a good thing to do. Be thoughtful as men. Don't forget anniversaries. Don't forget
dates. Don't forget things that you've planned. Don't forget commitments you've made. These are
things that ladies value very highly, you know, and I think that in general, ladies probably value
these things more highly than men, but you know how you could be honoring a gentleman to her
is show that you value those things as well. Men, to honor your wife, to be a gentleman,
don't let yourself go. Don't let yourself go physically. You know, oftentimes this is
something that's pointed at wives, but you know what? This should be for both sides.
You as a man, your wife married a certain man, you know what? Don't let yourself go. And this
is a double, you're getting double benefit here. You're becoming a better protector. You're becoming
more healthy, and you're becoming more comely in the eyes of your wife. You know, you want to make
sure that you keep your wife happy. And so men, don't let yourself go, stay in shape, dress nice,
practice good hygiene, brush your teeth, wash your hands, shower, put on deodorants. You have to say
these things very specifically sometimes. Your wife doesn't want to remind you of this stuff. Okay,
so I will remind you to practice good hygiene and don't let yourself go. Number six, go to Exodus
chapter 20, Exodus chapter 20 attributes of a godly husband. Number six, a godly husband is
faithful. A godly husband is faithful. You know, women like to feel safe. Women like to feel secure
and one of the ways that you can make her feel that way more than anything is by just being a
faithful husband in all areas of life. But look at Exodus 20 verse 14. It says, "Thou shalt not
commit adultery." You know, this is one of the 10 commandments and this is a very grievous sin
and it is a sin that is very, very common in our world. And it is a sin that is very, very common
even among Christians. You know, that is a shame. That is an embarrassment. It makes me sick to my
stomach to think of that wicked sin. But you know what? God says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
If you are a married man, you need to erase the possibility and the fantasies and the daydreams
of other women out of your mind forever. And just you know what? Say, "That is done. I've made my
choice. I'm married." Get that out of your head because sometimes people just fantasize about this
all day. They think about it all the time and what they're thinking about, what they're musing in
their heart sometimes leads to actions down the road. You need to be content with the wife that
God has given you and not go around thinking and fantasizing about other women. Here's a practical
tip. Don't even flirt with other women. Don't have a work wife. What's a work wife? It's the woman at
your workplace that you flirt with, that you get romantic with outside of the home. You know what?
Every interaction that you have with another woman should be strictly professional because let's be
honest, in the workplace, it's probably rare that for a person to just never work around another girl
or interact with a female of any sort. But you know what? If you're a married man and you're
interacting with a woman, it should be strictly professional. Don't be too nice men. Obviously,
be a gentleman. Be respectful to women. You can be kind, but there's a difference between being
kind to a woman and flirting. You don't want to even cross that. You don't even want to get close
to that line, wherever it is. Keep your relationships with other women 100% professional. Maintain a
professional demeanor. Go to Proverbs chapter 5, Proverbs chapter number 5, because here's the thing.
Even if you never cross that line fully into just full-blown adultery, you want to make sure as a
husband that your wife feels secure and a husband that is just constantly flirting with other women
and constantly just fantasizing about this. Even if you haven't committed adultery, your wife could
feel insecure. Your wife could feel like that is on the table for you, which could cause serious issues
in your marriage. Look at Proverbs 5 verse 18. It says, "Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice
with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant row. Let her breast satisfy
thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love. Why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with
a strange woman and embrace the bosom of a stranger? Do not be ravished with another woman. Don't think
about her. Don't touch her. Don't flirt with her. Don't go down that road. You are going to regret it.
You are going to experience massive pain and regret. And look, no one commits adultery and
thinks at the end of it like, "Oh yeah, that was worth it. That was great." No one gets divorced
in their 30s or 40s and blows up their family because they committed adultery and loses their
assets and has their paycheck garnered for the next 18 years and thinks, "Yeah, that was totally
worth it." You know, no one gets even remarried and thinks that was worth it. A lot of times people,
even when they get remarried, they say like, "I should have just stayed with my first spouse."
And so, but where does it start though? It starts with men not being faithful in their hearts.
Or women, if they're committing adultery, same thing. And often it starts with you being ravished
in your heart with another person. Avoid it. Go to Proverbs chapter 6 verse 23. The Bible's
going to give us an admonition here of who we should avoid. Verse 23 says, "For the commandment
is a lamp in the law's light, and reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep thee
from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman." Beware if a woman
flatters you, that is an evil woman. When some woman that you don't even know, that just comes
out of nowhere, some coworker of yours, all of a sudden starts just laying on the flattery.
She doesn't know you. She doesn't care about you. What she is, is she's evil, is what the Bible says.
And sometimes men are just so prideful, because men want to be honored, men want to be respected,
which by the way ladies, it's a good idea to give them that, because what you don't want,
is you don't want that to be given from the strange woman, where all of a sudden the flattery comes
out from the strange woman, and a man lets his heart be taken with that. No, if men, if a woman
is flattering you, run away. Realize that she's bad. She tells you you're good looking, she's lying,
I've seen all of you. She's a liar, okay? Don't listen to her flattery. You're not that muscular,
you're not that good looking. You don't make that much money. Maybe some of you make pretty good
money, okay? But look, she's a flatterer, and the Bible says she's evil. She's evil. Look at verse
25. What should we do? "Lust not after her beauty in thine heart, neither let her take thee with her
eyelids." When you recognize a woman showing these tendencies, realize that you are in dangerous
territory. Why is it dangerous? Because, let's be honest, men are weak in this area. This is the area
that men struggle in. And when you notice that a woman is like this, okay, stop. Don't lust after
her beauty in your heart. Because when you do that, you're starting to get even closer to a more
dangerous attitude. Don't let her take you with her eyelids when she gives you the look she's trying
to give you. Don't give it back. Don't give into it. You know, Joseph, when the woman wanted him,
when Potiphar's wife wanted him in this way, he literally ran away. Why? Because this is not a
temptation that men can even fight. It's a temptation that you could run away from. You
can't sit there and just resist this temptation. You just have to get away from the temptation 100
percent. And you don't even want to play with this. You don't even want to go down this road
whatsoever. Verse 26, "For by means of a whorish woman, a man is brought to a piece of bread. She
will wreck your life. She will destroy everything that you've built. And the adulteress will hunt
for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Can one go
upon hot coals and his feet not be burned? Look, if you play with fire long enough, you will get
burned. You can't just sit here and pick up coals and play with fire and not eventually have an
accident here where you're going to burn yourself. And that's what the Bible is describing. It's the
same thing playing games with the adulterous woman, with the strange woman. When you play these games
and you give into the flirting and you give into the looking and you give into the conversation
longer than you should have, you know what? You keep playing with that fire. Eventually it's going
to burn you. The Bible saying that there's not an exception to this. If a man takes fire in his
bosom, what's going to happen? He's going to be burned. So the answer is just stay away from these
women. Bring up safeguards in your life to where you can make this as close to impossible as
possible. You know there's been even instances where not the fault of the lady whatsoever,
but I found myself in situations when I was working from Setfast where like a lady just forgot
something at church real quick and she just had to get it and it's like I literally just was on
the phone with my wife with the phone in my pocket. Not because I think that she meant anything by it
or was anything weird, but it's like I just want to have the most above and beyond transparency
and safeguards in my life so that I could never even be accused of something like this
or God forbid even be tempted by something like this and go down that road. I'm just going to make
it as extremely you know safe as possible and you know I'd rather be living in that type of world
than in a world where I'm playing with fire because eventually any man with red blood in
his veins plays the fire long enough he's going to get burned. That's just reality. Verse 29,
so he that goeth into his neighbor's wife whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.
Men do not despise a thief if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry. You know if someone
steals my lunch and they're starving to death I might be a little annoyed but I'm not gonna like
hate the person over it I'm not gonna despise the person be like all right man you were starving you
stole my lunch okay no big deal. Verse 31, but if he be found he shall restore sevenfold he shall
give all the substance of his house but whoso comitteth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding
he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul he's saying look it's one thing stealing food when
you're starving to death but you go commit adultery you're not understanding something buddy something's
not clicking in your head this is a much different situation a wound in dishonor shall he get and
his reproach shall not be wiped away can can people who commit adultery be saved yes can they be
forgiven yes but you know what there's a stain on your life that cannot be wiped away which by the
way is why i don't think any pastor should ever be a pastor they've ever committed adultery at any
time in their past i don't care if it's 30 years ago if a man is committed adultery he is unfaithful
he's not blameless he has a reproach that shall not be wiped away i do not think anyone who's
ever committed adultery should be in the ministry full-time as a pastor deacon evangelist something
like that you know that is you know maybe deacon evangelist is a different story but i'm specifically
talking of a pastor notice what it says in verse 34 for jealousy is the rage of a man therefore he
will not spare in the day of vengeance he will not regard any ransom neither will he rest content
though thou givest many gifts it's like look if you steal a guy's lunch and you're starving
he might be ticked off but he's not going to hate you he's probably going to forgive you
yeah you got to pay it back and that's something that you could be forgiven of and live down but
when you commit adultery that's not something that you're going to live down and in fact the
man's going to be so full of rage that you could give him any ransom any gift nothing will satisfy
his anger and he might just literally kill you and you know there's tons of stories out there
of people getting caught in adultery and literally getting killed on the spot you know my wife knows
someone from her childhood that ended up committing adultery and the husband walked in and shot her in
the face and she survived but she's walking around all disfigured because she committed adultery not
saying that's a good thing to do obviously don't do that but here's the thing i'm just saying like
when you commit adultery you're gonna piss people off you're gonna piss people off the husband if
you're with some other man's wife or even just you as the spouse of the person that person might just
take out all the anger on you the point is this is not something to play around with it's not a game
there's going to be serious jealousy and rage in the situation you know what that is a dangerous
situation go to hebrews chapter number 11 hebrews chapter 11 but here's the thing if you are
unsatisfied with your marriage if you are having issues do not just throw in the towel and go
commit adultery do not just throw down all the years and all the time and all the love and effort
and energy that you've invested and just throw it down the trash committing adultery you know
what that's such a short-sighted and foolish decision for such a short moment of pleasure
just destroying your marriage no rather why don't you work on your marriage why don't you
invest into it why don't you fight for your wife why don't you keep going why don't you invest good
rather than you know what i'm just not satisfied with it so i'm just going to blow it all up and
commit adultery you know what that's a weak person that does that that's a really weak person you
know what people like to brag about you guys like andrew tay they brag about how much how many
women they've been with how many times they've committed adultery you know what that's not hard
buddy that's the easy thing to do you're a loser you're a scumbag you know bragging about being
loose in this area is nothing to brag about because that's honestly just super easy for a
person to do that's what the world does because it's what comes naturally you know what tell me
when you've been married for 30 years 40 years faithfully tell me when you made it to your death
bed and you've never cheated on your spouse i'm gonna say now that's a person i could respect
hey that's a person that actually has some discipline and love and love for god and love
for their wife and actually is not super short-sighted look at hebrews 11 verse 24
by faith moses when he was come to gears refused to be called the son of pharaoh's daughter
choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of god than to enjoy the pleasures of sin
for a season sin is pleasurable that's why people do it there's gotta be some sort of feelings of
pleasure when you do drugs you know there's feelings of pleasure when people drink there's
feelings of pleasure when people go out and commit adultery and fornication but you know
what those feelings of pleasure are for a season they're for a short time and the pain and suffering
and consequences that come as a result of sin lasts infinitely longer than the short you know
moment of pleasure and so it's so foolish to sit there and think like i'm not satisfied with my
marriage right now things are hard i'm just going to commit adultery you know what i guarantee you
you come back to this sermon after it happens i hope it never does but i guarantee you you will
regret it you will regret it don't do it do not commit adultery go to mark chapter number 10 mark
chapter number 10 you know in conclusion you know marriage is a gift from god marriage is a beautiful
institution that god has given us you know we don't want to give up on marriage we don't want
to disparage this great institution and you know unfortunately today because of all the bad teaching
from churches and brainwashing from the world you know a lot of people are struggling in marriage
right now there's a lot of divorce going on you know i just want to encourage you this evening
that if you are struggling to not give up to implement some of these things in your life
don't give up on marriage don't give up on the institution of marriage look at verse number two of
mark 10 and says and the pharisees came to him and asked him is it lawful for a man to put away his
wife tempting him and he answered and said unto them what did moses command you and they said
moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement and to put her away and jesus answered and said unto
them for the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept but from the beginning of the creation
god made them male and female for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his
wife and they twain shall be one flesh so then they are no more twain but one flesh what therefore
god hath joined together let not man put asunder do not give up on your marriage do not ever get
divorced to your spouse do not blow up your marriage by committing adultery you know continue
to invest in your marriage god has given us this institution for a reason it's a blessing and here's
the thing don't walk away from the two sermons that we've had on marriage today don't walk away
and men thinking like man i really hope my wife was listening to the morning sermon i really hope
she just implements everything the pastor aus was talking about you know ladies don't walk away from
the sermon tonight be like man i really hope my husband was paying attention to what pastor aus
was saying i really hope you know he starts hitting the gym and opening the door for me now men do
those things but here's the thing walk away from these sermons thinking how can i be a better spouse
how can i be a better husband if you're a lady how can i be a better wife you know the only thing
that you can control in marriage is yourself it's the only thing that you can control and it's like
when there's at least one person trying you know your marriage has a chance there's hope in the
future you know there's going to be times in the marriage when the husband's feeling low when the
husband's failing not doing as good of a job of a spouse there's going to be times in marriage
where the wife is failing not doing a good job but you know what both of you should just at least
never give up never give up on your marriage keep working on yourselves men try to institute the
attributes of a godly husband ladies try to help your husband let's have a word of prayer lord
thank you for this day and thank you for the institution of marriage i do pray for all the
married couples in this room that you would strengthen their marriages that you would help
the love that they have for each other to grow stronger and stronger over the years i pray for
them to have an unbreakable bond i pray that they would all center christ in their life and that they
would seek to be good servants of jesus christ together i just pray that ladies would be
submissive to their husbands and that husbands would be godly leaders leading for the benefit
of their wives and children pray that you'd give us all grace when we fail as spouses and just help
us to never quit and never give up on our spouse we love you and you send me to pray amen all right
the last hymn this evening if you'll grab a hymnal it's number 131 christ is all i need 131 131 christ is
all i need we'll sing there on the first